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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I started to write this as a reply on my transition thread then thought I’d share it on a new one instead as that was about to close.
People see your external appearance brought about by your chromosomes (the x’ & y’s)
They see the learned behaviour and mannerisms.
They hear the voice that testosterone created. The stubble. The buildup of the bone over your eyes and around your jaw. The hips that didn’t widen as your pelvis stayed untouched by hormones. Your hands and muscles that grew larger. The broader shoulders that developed. That increase in height you had in that growth spurt.......
So many things they ‘see’ that reinforce what they were told as children made you a guy.
You have to look very closely to see the subtle differences that give away if you’re left or right handed. They’re there, but no one looks for those signs.
You just know though. Inside you instinctively know you’re left or right handed. Your brain has a dominant side. You pick up a pen with the hand that it feels comfortable in. They used to try to convert left handed people to become right handed. Their bodies are no different until the dominant side muscles develop a bit more than the other over time.
It’s the same for gender initially. You just know, in spite of how your body develops.
Over time, you’re conditioned by life. By the expectations put upon you. The way you’re treated. The things you do to fit into the box you were put in. By your life experiences.
No matter how long you tie your left arm down and try to be right handed you always feel it’s not quite right.
There are genes they are researching that seem to affect the brain’s gender. High oestrogen levels experienced while a baby is in the womb also affect the brain’s gender.
Some will argue there is no difference between male and female brains. It’s only life experience and conditioning that makes a difference between men and women mentally. Gender is all about your reproductive system.
If you were just a head with no body and didn’t just die, you wouldn’t become gender neutral though. You’d still be a man or a woman because that’s just what you are.
I’m left handed (I’m not really) but I am female. I can feel it inside in spite of what my chromosomes made my body into.
I’ve untied my dominant hand and have been developing my body to match my brain. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I started to write this as a reply on my transition thread then thought I’d share it on a new one instead as that was about to close.
People see your external appearance brought about by your chromosomes (the x’ & y’s)
They see the learned behaviour and mannerisms.
They hear the voice that testosterone created. The stubble. The buildup of the bone over your eyes and around your jaw. The hips that didn’t widen as your pelvis stayed untouched by hormones. Your hands and muscles that grew larger. The broader shoulders that developed. That increase in height you had in that growth spurt.......
So many things they ‘see’ that reinforce what they were told as children made you a guy.
You have to look very closely to see the subtle differences that give away if you’re left or right handed. They’re there, but no one looks for those signs.
You just know though. Inside you instinctively know you’re left or right handed. Your brain has a dominant side. You pick up a pen with the hand that it feels comfortable in. They used to try to convert left handed people to become right handed. Their bodies are no different until the dominant side muscles develop a bit more than the other over time.
It’s the same for gender initially. You just know, in spite of how your body develops.
Over time, you’re conditioned by life. By the expectations put upon you. The way you’re treated. The things you do to fit into the box you were put in. By your life experiences.
No matter how long you tie your left arm down and try to be right handed you always feel it’s not quite right.
There are genes they are researching that seem to affect the brain’s gender. High oestrogen levels experienced while a baby is in the womb also affect the brain’s gender.
Some will argue there is no difference between male and female brains. It’s only life experience and conditioning that makes a difference between men and women mentally. Gender is all about your reproductive system.
If you were just a head with no body and didn’t just die, you wouldn’t become gender neutral though. You’d still be a man or a woman because that’s just what you are.
I’m left handed (I’m not really) but I am female. I can feel it inside in spite of what my chromosomes made my body into.
I’ve untied my dominant hand and have been developing my body to match my brain. "
Totally agree. Can’t fight nature and if that’s how we are that’s how we are. And the most natural thing to do is to live organically as yourself. I fought my nature and I’ve always know my soul and my head were female and just need to totally match the body I was wrongly given.
This is for none but ourselves really.
You are such an amazing woman and thanks for all the advice you are giving me and for the little strength you are giving me with your stories for my own journey.
Thank you thank you thank you!  |
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That is very well put! One of my daughters was born as a boy whilst growing up she was confused! I didnt even know! I should have! She has aspergers as well so was allways different from her siblings! But happy to say is very happy in herself now x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"That is very well put! One of my daughters was born as a boy whilst growing up she was confused! I didnt even know! I should have! She has aspergers as well so was allways different from her siblings! But happy to say is very happy in herself now x"
I have a friend who told me her mother just ‘knew’ she was carrying a girl but then gave birth to what she was told was a boy.
It does make me wonder if the mum could tell her oestrogen levels were a bit high and so she was developing a girl even though that baby had xy chromosomes. |
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"That is very well put! One of my daughters was born as a boy whilst growing up she was confused! I didnt even know! I should have! She has aspergers as well so was allways different from her siblings! But happy to say is very happy in herself now x
I have a friend who told me her mother just ‘knew’ she was carrying a girl but then gave birth to what she was told was a boy.
It does make me wonder if the mum could tell her oestrogen levels were a bit high and so she was developing a girl even though that baby had xy chromosomes. "
I had the amniocentises test with her because of my age so was told the sex at an early stage so didnt have that thought! But still feel that I shd have known somehow and been able to help her much early on! Love ur updates u are a true inspiration! And gourgeous! X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"That is very well put! One of my daughters was born as a boy whilst growing up she was confused! I didnt even know! I should have! She has aspergers as well so was allways different from her siblings! But happy to say is very happy in herself now x
I have a friend who told me her mother just ‘knew’ she was carrying a girl but then gave birth to what she was told was a boy.
It does make me wonder if the mum could tell her oestrogen levels were a bit high and so she was developing a girl even though that baby had xy chromosomes.
I had the amniocentises test with her because of my age so was told the sex at an early stage so didnt have that thought! But still feel that I shd have known somehow and been able to help her much early on! Love ur updates u are a true inspiration! And gourgeous! X"
It’s never too late to help or to transition either.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What an awesome explanation!
Our best friend was trans (she was in her 40's when she had the op) and she explained it in a similar way - just not quite as eloquently as you have Rachael."
I’m probably just reassembling other peoples words but I hope it helps a few more understand this isn’t a choice, a kink, a lifestyle.
Transition takes many years. Lots of people on here have been watching me do this and I really have taken the short route. |
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