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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Guy washed up on deserted Island with a dog and a pig...
They all spent next several weeks learning to survive on Island which included a ritual that every evening they all head down to shoreline and watch the sunset every night.
One night a beautiful golden sunset happened and man started to have romantic thoughts while looking at pig and made move over to pig. The dog noticed this and didn't like and barked and growled until man moved away from pig.
The man tried every evening after to get close to pig to initiate his urges but dog stopped it everytime.
Couple of months later a beautiful lady is washed up on beach.
The man dog and pig nursed the lady back to health and she became one of the clan.
One evening the man said here since your now back to full health wanna come down to shoreline with myself dog and pig and watch sunset. Lady agreed ..... so they all sat and once again an amazing Golden sunset happened and the man started to feel the urges again... looking straight into the ladies eyes he leaned over and whispered into her ear...
FANCY TAKING THE DOG FOR A WALK FOR ME!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A man takes a young boy out of the boot of his car and walks him into the woods just before sunset. As they go further into the woods, it gets colder as night starts to fall. Overhead there is a full moon and strange animal noises can be heard, but still they go further into the woods. It's pitch black now but there's a orange glow coming from a ramshackle cabin ahead. The little boy stops dead and he wets his trousers. He looks the man in the eyes and tells him he's scared. The man replies 'You're scared?!?! Imagine how I feel. I've got to walk back to the car alone". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Typo 
There's a brothel on top of a hill. One man is going up the hill, one man is coming down the hill, and one man is in the brothel. What nationality are they?
Man going up the hill... Hes Russian.
Man coming down the hill... Hes Finnish.
Man in the brothel.. Well, Himalayan!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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True story...
I was in the doctors, Dr Pete Winslow, getting my prostate and nuts checked for cancer and what do you know......
Anyway, just after this guy had his finger up my bum, he takes the gloves off, blows on his hands rubs tgem together furiously and starts moving my balls around like they are those meditation balls, you know the ones you twiddle in your hands....
This guy kinda smells a bit like whiskey and old spice or brut, not sure which, anyway.... He stops, squeezes a little bit harder than he should, looks me in the eye and says,
"Mr Helmford, it isnt normal to have an erection during this procedure!!!!"..
I look down at my cock,confused and then i say to him
"but im not hard"..
And he said...
"but i am"
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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago
Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe |
She begged and she pleaded for more
He said "but darling, we've already had four
And I know it's absurd
But I'm sure that you've heard
That Eros, spelled backwards, is sore". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm feeling depressed this evening so let's see your best jokes, maybe cheer some of us up this evening"
here’s one from more chivalrous times ...
He offered her honour
She honoured his offer
All night long he was honour and offer. |
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.... darn it.
