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Vanilla world and swinging
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So last night I was in work, and one of the older lads made a joke about swinging. One of the younger lads didn’t understand what a swinger was. I mentioned “keys in a bowl” and he had kinda heard of that before.
So the discussion went on and someone asked me was I a swinger, I have no shame so said yes. They thought I was joking. Then the older guy and a woman about my age both agreed that I can’t be a swinger cause I’m single 
I asked him what he meant. She jumped in and replied “only couples can be swingers cause otherwise it’s just sex”
Has anyone else have any interesting vanilla world ideas about swinging? |
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I think most people assume it's just a couples thing.
I would have said that until recently, I've learnt a lot being on here!
It's like an the different MFM, MMF, FFM... still not sure what they all are  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I guess it’s different for single men but in the swinging world I am a unicorn which is a single bi fem and apparently we are rare??
Who cares what people think you enjoy yourself that’s what matters right?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest you only have to mention as a single that you would be open to a relationship on here and the whole 'this isn't a dating site' gives the impression the singles are also not seen as swingers by many on here. X
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be honest you only have to mention as a single that you would be open to a relationship on here and the whole 'this isn't a dating site' gives the impression the singles are also not seen as swingers by many on here. X
"
It's funny though because if someone is looking for a swinging relationship they should look where swingers hang out.....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think most people assume it's just a couples thing.
I would have said that until recently, I've learnt a lot being on here!
It's like an the different MFM, MMF, FFM... still not sure what they all are "
Mfm mean 2 man and a women
Ffm mean 2 women and a men |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I ask the same question in my profile. How do I qualify as a swinger when I’m a single man? I may help a couple swing but I can’t be a swinger, surely, unless I bring a partner into the dynamic. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I suppose swinging is an outlook on sex and relationships. The idea of sharing one's partner or being shared yourself is obviously part of it, but as a single I think you can still have a swinging mentality.
I don't personally think of myself as a swinger however, I just enjoy chatting with other sexually open people as I don't see sex as something to hide away. Maybe that makes me a swinger, but I doubt it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I suppose swinging is an outlook on sex and relationships. The idea of sharing one's partner or being shared yourself is obviously part of it, but as a single I think you can still have a swinging mentality.
I don't personally think of myself as a swinger however, I just enjoy chatting with other sexually open people as I don't see sex as something to hide away. Maybe that makes me a swinger, but I doubt it."
That is almost exactly the reason why I’m on here. It is simply to speak openly about sex and sexuality without feeling awkward about it.
As for being a swinger, I can only answer that honestly when I am in a committed relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im a swinger. And I’m single.
It’s not just about the sex, it’s about the connection too. "
That’s what I can’t comprehend yet. I’m too new to it to know or understand much of it yet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im a swinger. And I’m single.
It’s not just about the sex, it’s about the connection too. "
This, to me , implies that people who aren't swingers don't require any connection with the people they have sex with |
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"Im a swinger. And I’m single.
It’s not just about the sex, it’s about the connection too.
That’s what I can’t comprehend yet. I’m too new to it to know or understand much of it yet."
What don't you understand yet? Can you articulate it, can we help explain?  |
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"So last night I was in work, and one of the older lads made a joke about swinging. One of the younger lads didn’t understand what a swinger was. I mentioned “keys in a bowl” and he had kinda heard of that before.
So the discussion went on and someone asked me was I a swinger, I have no shame so said yes. They thought I was joking. Then the older guy and a woman about my age both agreed that I can’t be a swinger cause I’m single
I asked him what he meant. She jumped in and replied “only couples can be swingers cause otherwise it’s just sex”
Has anyone else have any interesting vanilla world ideas about swinging?"
How does she know any way what's swinging and what's not??...hmmmm....closet swingers maybe? |
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The term I see ofter watching USA swingers speak is 'Sex Positive'.
I think thats a really interesting empowerment term rather then just swinging.
Very bad and awful things are done that have aspects of sex within them but control and power the overiding motive.
Sex is natural and should be fun for all. |
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Look at the brexit debate that went on for weeks. Still now, after some years, there's no agreement on what was to be voted for. Vanilla life gets hardly any exposure to swinging, so it's not going to get much of a detailed understanding, except based on embarrassed innuendo.
We're a fairly inhibited country, so it will probably take some time to chip away at that, including the perception of a man being in charge in a relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Funny because my husband's work mates think we are cool swingers, soon as the wives found out I stopped been a swinger and was suddenly a slapper. Nobody let's their husbands have a drink with me a the works Christmas party anymore because apparently I fuck anything with a pulse who knew |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Funny because my husband's work mates think we are cool swingers, soon as the wives found out I stopped been a swinger and was suddenly a slapper. Nobody let's their husbands have a drink with me a the works Christmas party anymore because apparently I fuck anything with a pulse who knew "
Wayhayyyy!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think most people assume it's just a couples thing.
I would have said that until recently, I've learnt a lot being on here!
It's like an the different MFM, MMF, FFM... still not sure what they all are "
I just know that I want them... although ....whats the significance of where you put the second 'M'?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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for us, we have never met a single guy who understands what swincing is about, im sure they must be out there, but weve never met one, swinging is very different to normal sex, most dont get that, alot just think its an easy way to get a shag, shame |
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By *imbobaMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"I think most people assume it's just a couples thing.
I would have said that until recently, I've learnt a lot being on here!
It's like an the different MFM, MMF, FFM... still not sure what they all are
I just know that I want them... although ....whats the significance of where you put the second 'M'?
"
MMF and FFM means the males or females in the mix are bi and will play together also.
MFM or FMF would mean they are straight and share the middle partner but not each other. |
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"I think most people assume it's just a couples thing.
I would have said that until recently, I've learnt a lot being on here!
It's like an the different MFM, MMF, FFM... still not sure what they all are
Mfm mean 2 man and a women
Ffm mean 2 women and a men "
There's more to it than that. What order the letters are in will let you know whether there is any bisexual play. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"for us, we have never met a single guy who understands what swincing is about, im sure they must be out there, but weve never met one, swinging is very different to normal sex, most dont get that, alot just think its an easy way to get a shag, shame"
How is it different to normal sex? |
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"I think most people assume it's just a couples thing.
I would have said that until recently, I've learnt a lot being on here!
It's like an the different MFM, MMF, FFM... still not sure what they all are
I just know that I want them... although ....whats the significance of where you put the second 'M'?
"
It was explained to me that in MFM the guys only play with the lady but in MMF the guys can play together too. But I’m not sure if that’s accurate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have no clue how you’re to meant to depict a scenario where there are three guys and one girl but all the play is straight. "
M........M.......M
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F
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"I have no clue how you’re to meant to depict a scenario where there are three guys and one girl but all the play is straight. "
I once had what I called a MFM+M. Two straight guys, a wife, and the husband watching. Every now and then she’d suck her husband. |
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My understanding of a swinger is someone who doesn’t conform to the outdated stereotype that a man who has multiple partners is a stud but a woman who does the same is a slag.
Swingers are liberated enough to understand, accept and embrace that all genders and all sexualities can have as much fun as they like with whoever they like whenever they like as long as it’s consensual.
I am currently single and I class myself as a swinger when I was part of a couple I also classed myself as a swinger.
To me my personal relationship status has no bearing on this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find it to be an attitude. That sex can be as much about shared experiences as it is about an intimate expression of 2 people.
I'm single, and, it turns out, need this full range of my sexuality to be expressed in a safe environment. If I ever end up in a relationship again, it will be with someone who completely supports this, enthusiatically joins in, and who will help create a safe space for both of us to unwind and explore.
But, as things stand, I'm happy to meet some fab people and have a very sexy, sensual time! |
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