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Sophisticated romance fraud

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By *ubal1 OP   Man  over a year ago

Newry Down

I spent most of the afternoon attempting to convince a good friend that for the past two years he has been the victim of a sophisticated romance fraud, that has almost left him destitute.

What could I do to finally convince him that this young woman with a family (who are originally from eastern Europe) are simply inventing ruse after ruse to extract cash from him.

He has already lost tens of thousands of pounds, and now she is trying to convince home to sell his last asset, his home.

There is talk of marriage, but she is decades younger than him.

There are glaring holes in her story, inconsistencies, and blatant lies.

Crucially, he tells me that he has never had sexual relations with her, but I am unconvinced.

What could I do to bring him to his senses; I met him today for the first time in months and he looked dreadful.

He is a Christian with a benevolent disposition to society's lowest echelons.

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By *uenevereWoman  over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Sadly, there's not much you can do when people are convinced.

Feeling wanted/loved can be a powerful way to persuade people to part with their money.

There's nothing sophisticated about the method, naivety is quite easily spotted and advantage taken.

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By *etcplCouple  over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Have you reported this to Action Fraud?

There is little they may be able to do, but at the very least they can put him in touch with victim support or other supportive services.

Romance fraud is becoming massive, more so than the 619 frauds of a decade ago.

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By *esparate danMan  over a year ago

glasgow

He sounds like a Christian with a erection

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

You can't do anything I'm afraid. A friend of my mum's has been slowly fleeced of everything over a period box 20 years by a much younger man with a wife and family. She's paid medical expenses, bought him a tractor, paid for repairs to his house, bought him a car, paid for him to visit her here the list goes on. She met him when she was on holiday in Cyprus shortly after her husband died. She's sold the house she and her husband bought together, spent all her savings and sold her car. All she will say to anybody who tries to persuade her to cut contact is "you don't know what it's like to be lonely".

Sadly now her money's run out he's not in contact so much and she's beginning to see the light.

All I can say is he's an adult, you've offered advice, he's chosen not to take it all you can do is support him.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

*a period of

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

In what way did he look dreadful, is he ill do you think?

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By *ubal1 OP   Man  over a year ago

Newry Down

He has lost 28-30 pounds in weight, looks completely washed out, has developed bags under his eyes, and apologised that he couldn't afford to buy a coffee.

I bought him a coffee and a large sausage roll; he is not eating properly.

Amazingly, over the course of the afternoon he visibly changed in appearance; back to his old self.

He cannot see the wood for the trees.

I was extremely blunt with him, about what he has to do; but I know nothing will change for the better.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"He has lost 28-30 pounds in weight, looks completely washed out, has developed bags under his eyes, and apologised that he couldn't afford to buy a coffee.

I bought him a coffee and a large sausage roll; he is not eating properly.

Amazingly, over the course of the afternoon he visibly changed in appearance; back to his old self.

He cannot see the wood for the trees.

I was extremely blunt with him, about what he has to do; but I know nothing will change for the better.

"

It's hard to witness isn't it. Have you met the lady?

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By *hrobinsonMan  over a year ago

Bridgnorth

There was a programme about this on Radio 4 this afternoon at 4pm with Michael Rosen, it is such a cold anything calculating thing to do

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By *imi_RougeWoman  over a year ago

Portsmouth

This happened to my cousin, she had him for all his inheritance including his parents house. Really sad. Tried to warn him

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By *ubal1 OP   Man  over a year ago

Newry Down

No; and I probably never will.

I have instructed him/counselled him that he needs to phone a facility she will be at tonight to check that she is actually there. But I know it won't happen.

Psychologically, although elderly now he was an only child; he lacks 'street wisdom' and is naive, gullible, and easily hoodwinked.

There are hundreds of holes in her stories; I suspect he no longer has enough food at home.

His other friends, some of whom I know, think this lady is a charlatan, a thief and a fraudster.

He never married, lives alone, and accepts her stories at face value.

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By *ubal1 OP   Man  over a year ago

Newry Down


"There was a programme about this on Radio 4 this afternoon at 4pm with Michael Rosen, it is such a cold anything calculating thing to do "
I knew it was being broadcast, but was with him at the time.

When is it repeated-late Sunday night?

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By *ubal1 OP   Man  over a year ago

Newry Down


"Have you reported this to Action Fraud?

There is little they may be able to do, but at the very least they can put him in touch with victim support or other supportive services.

Romance fraud is becoming massive, more so than the 619 frauds of a decade ago."

Action Fraud has been proven to be a completely useless organisation.

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By *ubal1 OP   Man  over a year ago

Newry Down


"This happened to my cousin, she had him for all his inheritance including his parents house. Really sad. Tried to warn him "

From my limited research, it is exceptionally common.

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By *nabelle21Woman  over a year ago

B38

This is just dreadful!

I saw a programme recently about the same thing.

It was heartbreaking for those involved. They want nothing more than to be loved and invest fully, mentally and financially into pure deceitful lies.

Had he tried reverse image searches? Apparently those people do a mirror image now so as to get around this.

I don't know what you can do! But, I really hope that you figure something else.

Once they have invested so heavily in someone they sometimes don't want to kmow the truth.

They feel stupid and they really shouldn't!

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By *ubal1 OP   Man  over a year ago

Newry Down


"This is just dreadful!

I saw a programme recently about the same thing.

It was heartbreaking for those involved. They want nothing more than to be loved and invest fully, mentally and financially into pure deceitful lies.

Had he tried reverse image searches? Apparently those people do a mirror image now so as to get around this.

I don't know what you can do! But, I really hope that you figure something else.

Once they have invested so heavily in someone they sometimes don't want to kmow the truth.

They feel stupid and they really shouldn't!"

I strongly suspect this will lead to his death in due course.

I was extraordinarily blunt with him this afternoon, but he is like a rabbit frozen in the headlights.

I do not want to reveal exact details that might facilitate jigsaw identification of any party, but the lies, inconsistencies, holes in her stories, etc., is truly shocking.

Crucially, none of this is happening in my home town, nor within 50 miles of it.

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By *-man24Man  over a year ago

northwest


"I spent most of the afternoon attempting to convince a good friend that for the past two years he has been the victim of a sophisticated romance fraud, that has almost left him destitute.

What could I do to finally convince him that this young woman with a family (who are originally from eastern Europe) are simply inventing ruse after ruse to extract cash from him.

He has already lost tens of thousands of pounds, and now she is trying to convince home to sell his last asset, his home.

There is talk of marriage, but she is decades younger than him.

There are glaring holes in her story, inconsistencies, and blatant lies.

Crucially, he tells me that he has never had sexual relations with her, but I am unconvinced.

What could I do to bring him to his senses; I met him today for the first time in months and he looked dreadful.

He is a Christian with a benevolent disposition to society's lowest echelons.

"

Will prey from him and hope god gets a grip for him

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"There was a programme about this on Radio 4 this afternoon at 4pm with Michael Rosen, it is such a cold anything calculating thing to do I knew it was being broadcast, but was with him at the time.

When is it repeated-late Sunday night?"

You may be able to listen to it online on BBC iplayer.

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By *ubal1 OP   Man  over a year ago

Newry Down


"There was a programme about this on Radio 4 this afternoon at 4pm with Michael Rosen, it is such a cold anything calculating thing to do I knew it was being broadcast, but was with him at the time.

When is it repeated-late Sunday night?

You may be able to listen to it online on BBC iplayer."

Michael Rosen is very good; one of the best broadcasters on Radio 4.

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By *a LunaWoman  over a year ago

South

AgeUK have some information on their website and both AgeUK and Age Concern are trying to draw attention to these scams.

They recommend calling 101 and reporting it and also contacting Victim Support groups either nationally or locally.

More importantly, if the victim is an older/vulnerable person, try to contact the victim’s local council’s adult social services department and explain your concerns. They will make safeguarding enquiries and work with the adult to consider the action that needs to be taken. If they get involved they will have more clout in getting local Police safeguarding team involved if it is flagged up as a safeguarding issue.

Does the victim have close family that can step in? Has he got mental capacity? There are charities out there who can step in and look after financial matters for vulnerable adults and deal with his post so bills get paid, begging scam letters are removed etc.

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By *ubal1 OP   Man  over a year ago

Newry Down


"AgeUK have some information on their website and both AgeUK and Age Concern are trying to draw attention to these scams.

They recommend calling 101 and reporting it and also contacting Victim Support groups either nationally or locally.

More importantly, if the victim is an older/vulnerable person, try to contact the victim’s local council’s adult social services department and explain your concerns. They will make safeguarding enquiries and work with the adult to consider the action that needs to be taken. If they get involved they will have more clout in getting local Police safeguarding team involved if it is flagged up as a safeguarding issue.

Does the victim have close family that can step in? Has he got mental capacity? There are charities out there who can step in and look after financial matters for vulnerable adults and deal with his post so bills get paid, begging scam letters are removed etc."

This victim had been withdrawing so much money from his bank account, that his bank contacted the local police who interviewed him about romance fraud. The lady was interviewed but the victim declined the opportunity to have the police charge her with grooming/fraud/ exploitation of a vulnerable elderly person.

You can take a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink!

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"AgeUK have some information on their website and both AgeUK and Age Concern are trying to draw attention to these scams.

They recommend calling 101 and reporting it and also contacting Victim Support groups either nationally or locally.

More importantly, if the victim is an older/vulnerable person, try to contact the victim’s local council’s adult social services department and explain your concerns. They will make safeguarding enquiries and work with the adult to consider the action that needs to be taken. If they get involved they will have more clout in getting local Police safeguarding team involved if it is flagged up as a safeguarding issue.

Does the victim have close family that can step in? Has he got mental capacity? There are charities out there who can step in and look after financial matters for vulnerable adults and deal with his post so bills get paid, begging scam letters are removed etc.

This victim had been withdrawing so much money from his bank account, that his bank contacted the local police who interviewed him about romance fraud. The lady was interviewed but the victim declined the opportunity to have the police charge her with grooming/fraud/ exploitation of a vulnerable elderly person.

You can take a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink!"

Does he have cognitive impairment?

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By *ubal1 OP   Man  over a year ago

Newry Down

I have long suspected that he may be experiencing the early stage of dementia (possibly Alzheimer's) because he frequently repeats the same anecdotes about his life, but he is profoundly lonely and may need the interaction, so is repetitive.

The actual stress of the loss of his cash reserves, and other associated events, had caused a visible physical deterioration, but the few hours I spent with him today visibly revived him physiologically and cognitively.

I have tried to rally his close friends around him in a supportive, but questioning role in many ways, but there is only so much one can do to ameliorate this situation.

The victim knows that I am proactive, forthright, experienced, outspoken, etc., and is visibly and vocally fearful that I might intervene, as I have in another problematic situation that required direct, urgent, decisive action and considerable follow through.

You can take a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink!

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I have long suspected that he may be experiencing the early stage of dementia (possibly Alzheimer's) because he frequently repeats the same anecdotes about his life, but he is profoundly lonely and may need the interaction, so is repetitive.

The actual stress of the loss of his cash reserves, and other associated events, had caused a visible physical deterioration, but the few hours I spent with him today visibly revived him physiologically and cognitively.

I have tried to rally his close friends around him in a supportive, but questioning role in many ways, but there is only so much one can do to ameliorate this situation.

The victim knows that I am proactive, forthright, experienced, outspoken, etc., and is visibly and vocally fearful that I might intervene, as I have in another problematic situation that required direct, urgent, decisive action and considerable follow through.

You can take a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink!"

True. It's an awful situation to be in.

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By *ubal1 OP   Man  over a year ago

Newry Down

What I have revealed her barely scratches the surface of what has been happening; I have been working on this issue,on and off, for 18 months and have invested considerable time and money, but to no avail.

It was actually one of the victim's closer friends who originally brought it to my attention (for action to be instigated) and I followed through by 'rallying the troops' but it hasn't worked.

The fraudster had told him that she will be in a specific location tonight and I suggested he should phone and ask to speak to her; I strongly suspected that she would be 'elsewhere'; on other 'business'!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Best of luck OP. Your friend is very lucky to have you. I hope your effort will pay dividends soon.

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By *ubal1 OP   Man  over a year ago

Newry Down


"Best of luck OP. Your friend is very lucky to have you. I hope your effort will pay dividends soon."

They won't, because he is too far gone.

I have watched several TV programmes about romance fraud, and read a lot too, but to see it happening in real life is bewildering.

What I have not revealed, to date, is that this fraudster has other current victims, who are also elderly, and the police ate starting to take an interest in her.

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By *esparate danMan  over a year ago

glasgow

This indeed a gamechanger

How do you know about her other victims

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds


"He has lost 28-30 pounds in weight, looks completely washed out, has developed bags under his eyes, and apologised that he couldn't afford to buy a coffee.

I bought him a coffee and a large sausage roll; he is not eating properly.

Amazingly, over the course of the afternoon he visibly changed in appearance; back to his old self.

"

Wow. Great what effect a large sausage roll can have.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Has he actually met this woman, have you? I'm getting a bit confused now about this and police involvement, they've interviewed her but are only now taking an interest.

It's all very distressing she must be extremely brazen to continue even after

police involvement.

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By *ubal1 OP   Man  over a year ago

Newry Down


"This indeed a gamechanger

How do you know about her other victims"

He reluctantly told me; he is afraid that I am going to take action.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"This indeed a gamechanger

How do you know about her other victims

He reluctantly told me; he is afraid that I am going to take action.

"

How does he know about her other victims?

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds


"Has he actually met this woman ?"

The man must have met the woman as OP thinks they have a sexual relationship

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By *ubal1 OP   Man  over a year ago

Newry Down


"Has he actually met this woman, have you? I'm getting a bit confused now about this and police involvement, they've interviewed her but are only now taking an interest.

It's all very distressing she must be extremely brazen to continue even after

police involvement."

I don't know her full name; I have never met her, nor seen a photo of her, and documentary evidence is sparce.

He meets this lady every day.

She has apparently been targetting other elderly folk by approaching them on the street, cons her way into their homes and steals from them.

The police have allegedly interviewed her, but that aspect is riddled with inconsistencies; she has a solicitor whose identity she won't reveal, and was questioned at a location she won't reveal.

One of the victim's friends, whom I had briefed, forcefully confronted this lady in the victim's home.

This has been happening in the overall context of lockdowns, and is fragmentary.There is no coordinated effort.

Frankly, I suspect this lady, who has five feral children in tow, is working as a prostitute, and in cahoots with others.

The victim apparently met this lady when she approached him in the street, and gave him a sob story about having cancer, etc, etc.

These types of cons follow a stereotypical trajectory, with minor variations; medical emergencies, family tragedies, couuntry of residence issues, etc.

A completely different scenario more than 20 years ago involved a guy I knew who brought his Russian wife back to the UK; she tried to take over his property by going to the police and alleging that he was abusing her.

She failed and the 'relationship' ended. That particular victim was exploited by at least three different women, who had no connection to each other.I personally met two of them.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Can you and the victims other friends set up a rota so that somebody is with him every time she visits?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"He has lost 28-30 pounds in weight, looks completely washed out, has developed bags under his eyes, and apologised that he couldn't afford to buy a coffee.

I bought him a coffee and a large sausage roll; he is not eating properly.

Amazingly, over the course of the afternoon he visibly changed in appearance; back to his old self.

Wow. Great what effect a large sausage roll can have."

Probably the stress release of being able to talk to someone about it all and feeling safe in his company for the short time.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I have long suspected that he may be experiencing the early stage of dementia (possibly Alzheimer's) because he frequently repeats the same anecdotes about his life, but he is profoundly lonely and may need the interaction, so is repetitive.

The actual stress of the loss of his cash reserves, and other associated events, had caused a visible physical deterioration, but the few hours I spent with him today visibly revived him physiologically and cognitively.

I have tried to rally his close friends around him in a supportive, but questioning role in many ways, but there is only so much one can do to ameliorate this situation.

The victim knows that I am proactive, forthright, experienced, outspoken, etc., and is visibly and vocally fearful that I might intervene, as I have in another problematic situation that required direct, urgent, decisive action and considerable follow through.

You can take a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink!"

Has he been in a similar situation before?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Very sad how people are taken in.

Very sad indeed

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By *eoeclipseWoman  over a year ago

glasgow

I'm quite surprised at police, i was under the opinion that they can charge without victims consent in domestic abuse cases (which this absolutely is).

Especially with the bank also concerned, what i'm wondering is how she's withdrawing it, unless she's managed to wangle a card & pin out of him too.

I'd maybe give cops a call & explain the whole situation to them including mental manipulation.

I don't understand the mindset of scammers at all (greed i presume). Disgusting.

This is also another reason i don't like the 'sugar' scene, just feels like your manipulating lonely folks for monetary items, regardless if that is their kink, i think deep down those paying feel they need to pay to feel loved/connected...that is not what love is at all.

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds

You said the man is a Christian. Could you approach his local church for support ? They can offer friendly visits and food parcels.

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By *ubal1 OP   Man  over a year ago

Newry Down


"Can you and the victims other friends set up a rota so that somebody is with him every time she visits? "

That's a useful suggestion, but he mostly visits her; I know the name of the town, but he is reluctant to give the specific address, although I approximately know its location.

It is in a rough, rundown area that was at its peak maybe 80-100 years ago.

He has even allegedly paid to have the alleyway behind this house professionally cleaned at a cost of £500.

What I have found about cunning manipulators of this ilk is that they engineer a scenario where it is difficult for outsiders to join the dots, especially during lockdowns.

I prepared an extensive package of briefing papers for the victim and three of his principal friends (one of whom recently died) in order to educate them all, but have not physically met any of them in the past year, with the exception of the victim, yesterday.

Crucially, I do not have any of their phone numbers, nor their e-mail addresses.

In opening this thread, and replying to postings, I have concluded that I may have to approach the police myself, with the ultimate goal of having this con artist deported.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

OP if you suspect a crime is being or has been committed then you should involve the police and let them investigate the matter.

From what you are saying this is long term abuse of a vulnerable person and needs to be brought to a swift end.

There is an awful lot advantage to being a good friend.

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By *ubal1 OP   Man  over a year ago

Newry Down


"You said the man is a Christian. Could you approach his local church for support ? They can offer friendly visits and food parcels. "

I do not know the victim particularly well; I do not know his specific church, but I know he is being provided with occasional cooked meals by them.

He is an exceptionally generous person who would literally leave himself destitute in order to help others; his reward coming in the afterlife.

I have no faith whatsoever; the Christian Brothers and Catholic clergy knocked all of that out of me and many others too.

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds


"OP if you suspect a crime is being or has been committed then you should involve the police and let them investigate the matter.

"

Why don't you give the police the dossier of evidence you have been working on for 18 months ?

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"You said the man is a Christian. Could you approach his local church for support ? They can offer friendly visits and food parcels.

I do not know the victim particularly well; I do not know his specific church, but I know he is being provided with occasional cooked meals by them.

He is an exceptionally generous person who would literally leave himself destitute in order to help others; his reward coming in the afterlife.

I have no faith whatsoever; the Christian Brothers and Catholic clergy knocked all of that out of me and many others too."

Ask him which church he attends.

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By *ubal1 OP   Man  over a year ago

Newry Down


"OP if you suspect a crime is being or has been committed then you should involve the police and let them investigate the matter.

Why don't you give the police the dossier of evidence you have been working on for 18 months ?"

Crucially, I do not have one iota of documentary evidence; I only became aware of this issue when I was approached by an acquaintance of the victim and then wrote to the victim and his three main friends.

I met the victim two or there times over the last 18 months and twice corresponded by letter.

Frankly, until yesterday when I bumped into the victim in Belfast I assumed the problem had been resolved, but was stunned at his distressed appearance. He looked wretched.

I then invested a few hours eliciting information from him and offering suggestions.

I think I can see the wood for the trees but he cannot.

This man was previously involved with another lady whom I have met several times; she foisted himself on him and overburdened him with her issues.

He eventually tired of her and by refusing to go on vacation with her, in the Republic of Ireland, she dropped him. In that instance, there was no element of financial exploitation, just whingeing that he tolerated in order to fulfil his Christian duty. That lady is a person of deep faith, but from a dysfunctional background and with many 'trust' issues.

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple  over a year ago

Bexley


"I spent most of the afternoon attempting to convince a good friend that for the past two years he has been the victim of a sophisticated romance fraud, that has almost left him destitute.

What could I do to finally convince him that this young woman with a family (who are originally from eastern Europe) are simply inventing ruse after ruse to extract cash from him.

He has already lost tens of thousands of pounds, and now she is trying to convince home to sell his last asset, his home.

There is talk of marriage, but she is decades younger than him.

There are glaring holes in her story, inconsistencies, and blatant lies.

Crucially, he tells me that he has never had sexual relations with her, but I am unconvinced.

What could I do to bring him to his senses; I met him today for the first time in months and he looked dreadful.

He is a Christian with a benevolent disposition to society's lowest echelons.

"

Sadly there's nothing to be done sometimes. I've seen people who still refuse to doubt their 'cyber love' that they refuse to accept they've been conned even when the person responsible for doing so has admitted it.

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By *-man24Man  over a year ago

northwest

Can’t stand scum who use Cancer to scam people full stop it makes me sick, hurts to the core of my heart , Where is Kama when we need her

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By *ubal1 OP   Man  over a year ago

Newry Down


"

Sadly there's nothing to be done sometimes. I've seen people who still refuse to doubt their 'cyber love' that they refuse to accept they've been conned even when the person responsible for doing so has admitted it. "

I am grateful for the replies I have received, that has enabled me to put this issue into perspective.

This is not cyber love as it is known on the internet, but con artists are either expert at identifying eligible targets, or they approach so many that a fruitful victim rises to the bait.

I mistakenly assumed that when I researched and then posted four large packages of material about romance fraud and elderly exploitation to the victim and his friends that discussion between the four of them would have terminated the issue.

Regrettably, I was wrong.

This victim does seem to have a past history of exploitation of his Christian benevolence.

He is always willing to provide a listening ear that will be rewarded in the next life.

On reflection, he was almost forced to leave his home several years ago by a paramilitary neighbour, and came close to a complete breakdown.

I think I will make contact again this weekend and possibly visit the police.

This issue requires external intervention by professionals, such as the police. Thank you; I am grateful for your input.

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By *ubal1 OP   Man  over a year ago

Newry Down


"Can’t stand scum who use Cancer to scam people full stop it makes me sick, hurts to the core of my heart , Where is Kama when we need her "

From what the victim described I suspect his victimiser may actually be suffering from CPID, Chronic Pelvic Inflammatory Disease, which is caused by repeated untreated infections by STIs, principally Chlamydia, that affects the fallopian tubes.

I suggested that he should actually phone the specialist hospital where she has allegedly been taken for removal of her large cancerous cyst and ask to speak to her, as a close friend.

He does not have Internet access at his home, but directory enquiries would be able to provide the number.

On hearing my suggestion he immediately responded that I should not phone the hospital, but I do not even know her name.

He is acting protectively to a woman who is fifty years younger than him, and who has suggested marriage, presumably to get his house, that he inherited from his deceased mother a few years ago.

There have been several programmes about romance fraud, elderly exploitation, financial manipulation, etc., on TV, but to witness this first hand is a bizarre experience.

The victim seems to be in an alternative fabricated reality that appears to be providing purpose and meaning to his life.

There you have it!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

There’s not much that you can do I been in a similar situation no matter what people say I had my parents warned me before hand but was so in love I couldn’t see it

So glad it happened to me at a young age

meet a woman and feel in love head over heels for her spoiled her anything she wanted she got

Witch I didn’t mind then came the movie out your parents house and let’s get a house to gether

Did that I had a good paying job so she felt that it was ok for her just to work 16 hours a week

Joint bank account whare my wages went in her thought went in to her own bank

Then came the mental torture telling me if she leave me I will grow old and die lonely

Telling me that she’s going to leave me shag ever guy under the sun and then come back to me and I be stupid anuff to take her back

The last straw was cheating on me

When we broke up she told me she was only ever with me for money

17 years off my life completely wasted

7 years with her and 10 years after that find it hard to trust people

I know this is going to sound horrible but don’t try and force it as you be made out to be the bad one and it could cause a rift and you may lose a friend

Only thing I can say is when the penne drops finally be there for your friend as he’s going to need it

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By *esparate danMan  over a year ago

glasgow

It sounds like you're known locally as a bit of a sleuth

Do you think maybe you're overthinking this caper on the basis that neither you or the police have anything substantial on the alleged perpetrator

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By *ubal1 OP   Man  over a year ago

Newry Down


"There was a programme about this on Radio 4 this afternoon at 4pm with Michael Rosen, it is such a cold anything calculating thing to do "

This programme is being repeated on BBC Radio 4 next Monday night at 2300 hours.

I wrote to the victim today and suggested it might be useful to listen to it.

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By *ubal1 OP   Man  over a year ago

Newry Down


"Sadly, there's not much you can do when people are convinced.

Feeling wanted/loved can be a powerful way to persuade people to part with their money.

There's nothing sophisticated about the method, naivety is quite easily spotted and advantage taken."

You have summed up these scenarios very concisely.

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds


"

I think I will make contact again this weekend and possibly visit the police.

This issue requires external intervention by professionals, such as the police.

"

The police have already interviewed her and decided not to proceed. How can you report her when you don't know her name ?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

He is a Christian with a benevolent disposition to society's lowest echelons.

Alarm bells ringing?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Sadly there's nothing to be done sometimes. I've seen people who still refuse to doubt their 'cyber love' that they refuse to accept they've been conned even when the person responsible for doing so has admitted it.

I am grateful for the replies I have received, that has enabled me to put this issue into perspective.

This is not cyber love as it is known on the internet, but con artists are either expert at identifying eligible targets, or they approach so many that a fruitful victim rises to the bait.

I mistakenly assumed that when I researched and then posted four large packages of material about romance fraud and elderly exploitation to the victim and his friends that discussion between the four of them would have terminated the issue.

Regrettably, I was wrong.

This victim does seem to have a past history of exploitation of his Christian benevolence.

He is always willing to provide a listening ear that will be rewarded in the next life.

On reflection, he was almost forced to leave his home several years ago by a paramilitary neighbour, and came close to a complete breakdown.

I think I will make contact again this weekend and possibly visit the police.

This issue requires external intervention by professionals, such as the police. Thank you; I am grateful for your input.

"

You need A12 on the job!

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By *ubal1 OP   Man  over a year ago

Newry Down


"Have you reported this to Action Fraud?

There is little they may be able to do, but at the very least they can put him in touch with victim support or other supportive services.

Romance fraud is becoming massive, more so than the 619 frauds of a decade ago."

Thanks for your advice.I made a lengthy call to Action Fraud this morning, and gave them as much information as I possessed.

It will be interesting to see if anything positive transpires. Thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Have you reported this to Action Fraud?

There is little they may be able to do, but at the very least they can put him in touch with victim support or other supportive services.

Romance fraud is becoming massive, more so than the 619 frauds of a decade ago.

Thanks for your advice.I made a lengthy call to Action Fraud this morning, and gave them as much information as I possessed.

It will be interesting to see if anything positive transpires. Thanks."

Omg let’s hope they can do something about it!! Why is she trying to convince him to sell his only home?

People are totally crazy! But this can happen and it’s so sad when it does

Keep us posted and let’s hope you managed to add something important to stop this whole nightmare of a situation

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