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Profile advice
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
What is it with this sudden rash of single guys asking for help with their profiles?
I understand that it’s difficult to write a coherent passage of text about yourself that conveys what you want, an essence of yourself and is attractive, scratch that, it’s ludicrously hard.
However it seem to me that there’s something very odd about asking random strangers to do your emotional labour, so that you can have sex. Even more so when you’ve put no effort in yourself.
Am I wrong in this thought process? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is it with this sudden rash of single guys asking for help with their profiles?
I understand that it’s difficult to write a coherent passage of text about yourself that conveys what you want, an essence of yourself and is attractive, scratch that, it’s ludicrously hard.
However it seem to me that there’s something very odd about asking random strangers to do your emotional labour, so that you can have sex. Even more so when you’ve put no effort in yourself.
Am I wrong in this thought process? "
They are not asking for advice on profile....its a lazy way of getting views |
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"What is it with this sudden rash of single guys asking for help with their profiles?
I understand that it’s difficult to write a coherent passage of text about yourself that conveys what you want, an essence of yourself and is attractive, scratch that, it’s ludicrously hard.
However it seem to me that there’s something very odd about asking random strangers to do your emotional labour, so that you can have sex. Even more so when you’ve put no effort in yourself.
Am I wrong in this thought process?
They are not asking for advice on profile....its a lazy way of getting views"
I disagree. Why would you direct someone to view a profile you don't believe in? |
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"Not odd just using hopefully the best way to get laid, its also used to advertise themselves which tbf we all do in some small/big way"
This ^ it’s always been around and even the forum have had an open thread or two on it ‘be honest about my profile’ not just single guys. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"What is it with this sudden rash of single guys asking for help with their profiles?
I understand that it’s difficult to write a coherent passage of text about yourself that conveys what you want, an essence of yourself and is attractive, scratch that, it’s ludicrously hard.
However it seem to me that there’s something very odd about asking random strangers to do your emotional labour, so that you can have sex. Even more so when you’ve put no effort in yourself.
Am I wrong in this thought process?
They are not asking for advice on profile....its a lazy way of getting views"
There is a degree of ‘look at me’ about it probably but there seems to be even more recently from profiles with nothing to look at.
To me it’s more about being lazy or looking for quick answers |
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"What is it with this sudden rash of single guys asking for help with their profiles?
I understand that it’s difficult to write a coherent passage of text about yourself that conveys what you want, an essence of yourself and is attractive, scratch that, it’s ludicrously hard.
However it seem to me that there’s something very odd about asking random strangers to do your emotional labour, so that you can have sex. Even more so when you’ve put no effort in yourself.
Am I wrong in this thought process?
They are not asking for advice on profile....its a lazy way of getting views
I disagree. Why would you direct someone to view a profile you don't believe in? "
Many don’t take the advice they’re given, so it does make it seem a bit “look at me”. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Not odd just using hopefully the best way to get laid, its also used to advertise themselves which tbf we all do in some small/big way
This ^ it’s always been around and even the forum have had an open thread or two on it ‘be honest about my profile’ not just single guys. "
That’s true but that’s often been about feedback after the effort has been made, not ‘help me’ when there’s nothing there.
I’ve asked for feedback before now, been told it’s rubbish, so I went off and tried again, myself.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some profiles need help, thats for sure, but should help be given?
Some people write profiles that reflect who they are and accept it won't appeal to everyone.
Others try too hard to be what people want, therefor trying to improve their chances but ultimately write a profile that is what they want to be, not who they are.
Lets be honest though. Women and couples don't even need to write a profile to get messages. Granted, they get sent a lot of dross. But for the single male, you have to do whatever you think is right to get the sort of interest you want.
It's a tough old world on fab at times and trying to be the wheat amongst 100 acres of chaff is difficult. |
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"What is it with this sudden rash of single guys asking for help with their profiles?
I understand that it’s difficult to write a coherent passage of text about yourself that conveys what you want, an essence of yourself and is attractive, scratch that, it’s ludicrously hard.
However it seem to me that there’s something very odd about asking random strangers to do your emotional labour, so that you can have sex. Even more so when you’ve put no effort in yourself.
Am I wrong in this thought process?
They are not asking for advice on profile....its a lazy way of getting views
I disagree. Why would you direct someone to view a profile you don't believe in?
Many don’t take the advice they’re given, so it does make it seem a bit “look at me”."
I thought that's more to do with them hearing things they don't want to hear and being too lazy to make any changes.
They'll make a bit of effort if there's a guaranteed bonk but other than that, oh... no guarantee? Oh fuck that then. |
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I don’t like it, personally. I’d rather see an honest profile, good or bad, than a generic one that tells me nothing. If a profile includes something that I find offputting, and I give my opinion on that, if they remove that part then the profile may now be misleading. I’d rather see the red flags so I know who to avoid. |
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"What is it with this sudden rash of single guys asking for help with their profiles?
I understand that it’s difficult to write a coherent passage of text about yourself that conveys what you want, an essence of yourself and is attractive, scratch that, it’s ludicrously hard.
However it seem to me that there’s something very odd about asking random strangers to do your emotional labour, so that you can have sex. Even more so when you’ve put no effort in yourself.
Am I wrong in this thought process?
They are not asking for advice on profile....its a lazy way of getting views
I disagree. Why would you direct someone to view a profile you don't believe in?
Many don’t take the advice they’re given, so it does make it seem a bit “look at me”.
I thought that's more to do with them hearing things they don't want to hear and being too lazy to make any changes.
They'll make a bit of effort if there's a guaranteed bonk but other than that, oh... no guarantee? Oh fuck that then."
Well yeah, probably that too. I think a lot of them want to hear “your profile is fine, women are mean”. |
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"Not odd just using hopefully the best way to get laid, its also used to advertise themselves which tbf we all do in some small/big way
This ^ it’s always been around and even the forum have had an open thread or two on it ‘be honest about my profile’ not just single guys.
That’s true but that’s often been about feedback after the effort has been made, not ‘help me’ when there’s nothing there.
I’ve asked for feedback before now, been told it’s rubbish, so I went off and tried again, myself.
"
If it’s blank and no sign of effort they don’t get a response.
I’ve had mine assessed in the past and made the changes, even though it is trimmed back now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is it with this sudden rash of single guys asking for help with their profiles?
I understand that it’s difficult to write a coherent passage of text about yourself that conveys what you want, an essence of yourself and is attractive, scratch that, it’s ludicrously hard.
However it seem to me that there’s something very odd about asking random strangers to do your emotional labour, so that you can have sex. Even more so when you’ve put no effort in yourself.
Am I wrong in this thought process? "
I don't think it's odd. Majority would just like little tips on how to navigate this madhouse through their profile.
While I haven't asked for profile advice ever. I do see if there's a new tip that might apply to myself.
I just see it as people helping each other. Of course you get the odd profile that is just for attention but I don't care  |
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"I don’t like it, personally. I’d rather see an honest profile, good or bad, than a generic one that tells me nothing. If a profile includes something that I find offputting, and I give my opinion on that, if they remove that part then the profile may now be misleading. I’d rather see the red flags so I know who to avoid."
Exactly!
I mean, how awkward would a meet be if something was omitted that came to light at a meet where you'd have avoided if you'd known? |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I don’t like it, personally. I’d rather see an honest profile, good or bad, than a generic one that tells me nothing. If a profile includes something that I find offputting, and I give my opinion on that, if they remove that part then the profile may now be misleading. I’d rather see the red flags so I know who to avoid."
There is that.
I also think that part of the crucible process of getting meets is having to work it out yourself. It’s not a case of throwing someone to the wolves but I think that part of fab is learning how to put yourself across well.
After all, this isn’t like copying homework or getting your taxes right. It’s helping random strangers to get their cocks wet, which they’re not going to thank you for |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is it with this sudden rash of single guys asking for help with their profiles?
I understand that it’s difficult to write a coherent passage of text about yourself that conveys what you want, an essence of yourself and is attractive, scratch that, it’s ludicrously hard.
However it seem to me that there’s something very odd about asking random strangers to do your emotional labour, so that you can have sex. Even more so when you’ve put no effort in yourself.
Am I wrong in this thought process?
They are not asking for advice on profile....its a lazy way of getting views
I disagree. Why would you direct someone to view a profile you don't believe in? "
You think they don't believe in there profile?....99% are looking for females to view there profile |
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I think it’s proper weird. I can’t assess if words are a true reflection of a person if I don’t know them. Profiles should be about you and only you.
Smacks of laziness and a lack of understanding about the site. Like someone else’s words will be the magical key to getting a reply.
I can only liken it to a cv for a job with many applicants. You have to put the work in to reflect your own personality. I’m not choosing someone else’s. |
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"What is it with this sudden rash of single guys asking for help with their profiles?
I understand that it’s difficult to write a coherent passage of text about yourself that conveys what you want, an essence of yourself and is attractive, scratch that, it’s ludicrously hard.
However it seem to me that there’s something very odd about asking random strangers to do your emotional labour, so that you can have sex. Even more so when you’ve put no effort in yourself.
Am I wrong in this thought process?
They are not asking for advice on profile....its a lazy way of getting views
I disagree. Why would you direct someone to view a profile you don't believe in?
You think they don't believe in there profile?....99% are looking for females to view there profile "
No I don't think they believe in their profiles. If they believed in their profile and it was working for them they'd already be getting muff.
I ain't gonna feed someone shit on toast and expect it to get me on Masterchef |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it’s proper weird. I can’t assess if words are a true reflection of a person if I don’t know them. Profiles should be about you and only you.
Smacks of laziness and a lack of understanding about the site. Like someone else’s words will be the magical key to getting a reply.
I can only liken it to a cv for a job with many applicants. You have to put the work in to reflect your own personality. I’m not choosing someone else’s. "
But they just want views...how many people use the forums? 100? Average....so maybe 20 will look at a profile....to give advice...they probably wouldn't get any views otherwise |
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"What is it with this sudden rash of single guys asking for help with their profiles?
I understand that it’s difficult to write a coherent passage of text about yourself that conveys what you want, an essence of yourself and is attractive, scratch that, it’s ludicrously hard.
However it seem to me that there’s something very odd about asking random strangers to do your emotional labour, so that you can have sex. Even more so when you’ve put no effort in yourself.
Am I wrong in this thought process? "
They are just attention-seekers. |
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"I think it’s proper weird. I can’t assess if words are a true reflection of a person if I don’t know them. Profiles should be about you and only you.
Smacks of laziness and a lack of understanding about the site. Like someone else’s words will be the magical key to getting a reply.
I can only liken it to a cv for a job with many applicants. You have to put the work in to reflect your own personality. I’m not choosing someone else’s.
But they just want views...how many people use the forums? 100? Average....so maybe 20 will look at a profile....to give advice...they probably wouldn't get any views otherwise"
And if it’s crap they’ll get viewed and dismissed. It’s pointless. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What is it with this sudden rash of single guys asking for help with their profiles?
I understand that it’s difficult to write a coherent passage of text about yourself that conveys what you want, an essence of yourself and is attractive, scratch that, it’s ludicrously hard.
However it seem to me that there’s something very odd about asking random strangers to do your emotional labour, so that you can have sex. Even more so when you’ve put no effort in yourself.
Am I wrong in this thought process?
They are not asking for advice on profile....its a lazy way of getting views
I disagree. Why would you direct someone to view a profile you don't believe in?
You think they don't believe in there profile?....99% are looking for females to view there profile
No I don't think they believe in their profiles. If they believed in their profile and it was working for them they'd already be getting muff.
I ain't gonna feed someone shit on toast and expect it to get me on Masterchef "
But your not there target audience....but you put shit on toast and enough people look at it at least 1 person will say you should be on masterchef |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it’s proper weird. I can’t assess if words are a true reflection of a person if I don’t know them. Profiles should be about you and only you.
Smacks of laziness and a lack of understanding about the site. Like someone else’s words will be the magical key to getting a reply.
I can only liken it to a cv for a job with many applicants. You have to put the work in to reflect your own personality. I’m not choosing someone else’s.
But they just want views...how many people use the forums? 100? Average....so maybe 20 will look at a profile....to give advice...they probably wouldn't get any views otherwise
And if it’s crap they’ll get viewed and dismissed. It’s pointless. "
Its a game of averages....the old saying of if you throw enough shit at a wall some will stick |
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"I think it’s proper weird. I can’t assess if words are a true reflection of a person if I don’t know them. Profiles should be about you and only you.
Smacks of laziness and a lack of understanding about the site. Like someone else’s words will be the magical key to getting a reply.
I can only liken it to a cv for a job with many applicants. You have to put the work in to reflect your own personality. I’m not choosing someone else’s.
But they just want views...how many people use the forums? 100? Average....so maybe 20 will look at a profile....to give advice...they probably wouldn't get any views otherwise"
So if 100 people view a profile and no messages come of it, don't you think that would make them feel even worse about themselves? Especially when they've got skewed ideas that everyone around them is shagging like rabbits.
Being picked last for the football team x 100 I imagine that would feel like.
A view is nothing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ill give an example
I get maybe 2 views a day from females....couple of weeks ago I did a thread about ...jokingly how handsome and sexy I was....I got 60+ views that day...ok most was to see how gorgeous i really am...but more people read the forums then take an active part |
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"I think it’s proper weird. I can’t assess if words are a true reflection of a person if I don’t know them. Profiles should be about you and only you.
Smacks of laziness and a lack of understanding about the site. Like someone else’s words will be the magical key to getting a reply.
I can only liken it to a cv for a job with many applicants. You have to put the work in to reflect your own personality. I’m not choosing someone else’s.
But they just want views...how many people use the forums? 100? Average....so maybe 20 will look at a profile....to give advice...they probably wouldn't get any views otherwise
And if it’s crap they’ll get viewed and dismissed. It’s pointless.
Its a game of averages....the old saying of if you throw enough shit at a wall some will stick"
If the profile is crap and has very little information, poorly thought out words and shoddy photos no amount of views will help when there are plenty of much better presented options. |
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"Ill give an example
I get maybe 2 views a day from females....couple of weeks ago I did a thread about ...jokingly how handsome and sexy I was....I got 60+ views that day...ok most was to see how gorgeous i really am...but more people read the forums then take an active part"
Which just proves you don't need to do a thread asking for advice to get views. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it’s proper weird. I can’t assess if words are a true reflection of a person if I don’t know them. Profiles should be about you and only you.
Smacks of laziness and a lack of understanding about the site. Like someone else’s words will be the magical key to getting a reply.
I can only liken it to a cv for a job with many applicants. You have to put the work in to reflect your own personality. I’m not choosing someone else’s.
But they just want views...how many people use the forums? 100? Average....so maybe 20 will look at a profile....to give advice...they probably wouldn't get any views otherwise
And if it’s crap they’ll get viewed and dismissed. It’s pointless.
Its a game of averages....the old saying of if you throw enough shit at a wall some will stick
If the profile is crap and has very little information, poorly thought out words and shoddy photos no amount of views will help when there are plenty of much better presented options."
But its not about getting advice about a profile...its getting people to look regardless of the profile |
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"I think it’s proper weird. I can’t assess if words are a true reflection of a person if I don’t know them. Profiles should be about you and only you.
Smacks of laziness and a lack of understanding about the site. Like someone else’s words will be the magical key to getting a reply.
I can only liken it to a cv for a job with many applicants. You have to put the work in to reflect your own personality. I’m not choosing someone else’s.
But they just want views...how many people use the forums? 100? Average....so maybe 20 will look at a profile....to give advice...they probably wouldn't get any views otherwise
And if it’s crap they’ll get viewed and dismissed. It’s pointless.
Its a game of averages....the old saying of if you throw enough shit at a wall some will stick
If the profile is crap and has very little information, poorly thought out words and shoddy photos no amount of views will help when there are plenty of much better presented options.
But its not about getting advice about a profile...its getting people to look regardless of the profile"
You wanna go tell em all they're liars and tricksters then? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it’s proper weird. I can’t assess if words are a true reflection of a person if I don’t know them. Profiles should be about you and only you.
Smacks of laziness and a lack of understanding about the site. Like someone else’s words will be the magical key to getting a reply.
I can only liken it to a cv for a job with many applicants. You have to put the work in to reflect your own personality. I’m not choosing someone else’s.
But they just want views...how many people use the forums? 100? Average....so maybe 20 will look at a profile....to give advice...they probably wouldn't get any views otherwise
And if it’s crap they’ll get viewed and dismissed. It’s pointless.
Its a game of averages....the old saying of if you throw enough shit at a wall some will stick
If the profile is crap and has very little information, poorly thought out words and shoddy photos no amount of views will help when there are plenty of much better presented options.
But its not about getting advice about a profile...its getting people to look regardless of the profile
You wanna go tell em all they're liars and tricksters then? "
Not all....I said earlier 99% do this..im sure there are genuine people looking for profile advice....unfortunately the rest are not |
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"What is it with this sudden rash of single guys asking for help with their profiles?
I understand that it’s difficult to write a coherent passage of text about yourself that conveys what you want, an essence of yourself and is attractive, scratch that, it’s ludicrously hard.
However it seem to me that there’s something very odd about asking random strangers to do your emotional labour, so that you can have sex. Even more so when you’ve put no effort in yourself.
Am I wrong in this thought process?
They are not asking for advice on profile....its a lazy way of getting views
I disagree. Why would you direct someone to view a profile you don't believe in?
Many don’t take the advice they’re given, so it does make it seem a bit “look at me”."
I've hardly seen anyone take any advice on their profile. A lot of us put more effort into replying to them then they did on the original profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I cant see the point of people being obsessed by profile views. If 100 people look at your profile and no one messages you
It cant feel very good knowing youve been rejected 100 times"
But the law of averages suggests its better to be seen by 100 people then 1.... |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"What is it with this sudden rash of single guys asking for help with their profiles?
I understand that it’s difficult to write a coherent passage of text about yourself that conveys what you want, an essence of yourself and is attractive, scratch that, it’s ludicrously hard.
However it seem to me that there’s something very odd about asking random strangers to do your emotional labour, so that you can have sex. Even more so when you’ve put no effort in yourself.
Am I wrong in this thought process?
They are not asking for advice on profile....its a lazy way of getting views
I disagree. Why would you direct someone to view a profile you don't believe in?
Many don’t take the advice they’re given, so it does make it seem a bit “look at me”.
I've hardly seen anyone take any advice on their profile. A lot of us put more effort into replying to them then they did on the original profile."
Yep!
And yet people keep replying to the threads. I’m starting to wonder which is worse, those asking or the poor folks who keep giving advice! |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I cant see the point of people being obsessed by profile views. If 100 people look at your profile and no one messages you
It cant feel very good knowing youve been rejected 100 times
But the law of averages suggests its better to be seen by 100 people then 1...."
100 times nothing is still nothing.
I know that you’re determined that it’s all about views but I disagree. Whilst one or two might be ‘look at me’ threads, the majority are looking for someone to do it for them or as someone else posted, for people to respond ‘no you’re fine with no pictures and a full stop on your personal description, you’ll have people begging in no time’ |
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I think a lot of men are genuinely perplexed by the site. They come with expectations fuelled by the media and find its a very different place.
I see no harm in asking for profile advice. To me it's like asking for advice on how best to present your cv when applying for a job.
I also can't see any harm in using various methods to attract views to your profile. We're most of us here to garner attention in one way or another otherwise we'd hide our profile, take all photos down and put all message filters on. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I think a lot of men are genuinely perplexed by the site. They come with expectations fuelled by the media and find its a very different place.
I see no harm in asking for profile advice. To me it's like asking for advice on how best to present your cv when applying for a job.
I also can't see any harm in using various methods to attract views to your profile. We're most of us here to garner attention in one way or another otherwise we'd hide our profile, take all photos down and put all message filters on."
Actually it’s like asking the business where you’re applying for advice on how to write your CV and covering letter.
I agree that there’s no harm in look at me threads and attention is exactly why we’re here, it’s people expecting others to do their work for them that I have an issue with |
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So do we feel the same when a woman or a couple asks for profile advice ?
I’ve found they get a different type of reply more sympathetic and helpful, very few harsh criticisms of what they currently have written or the pictures they’ve uploaded.
Or are we just picking on single guys again, who I wouldn’t blame them for leaving the site as the consistent criticism they get on these forums is coming across as a bad joke these days.
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What gets me is hardly anybody ever seems to take the advice. Advice like "Write more about yourself and what you have to offer, not just what you want" doesn't lead to a change in profile text from just looking for an easy shag with a fit bird. "Too many cock photos" doesn't lead to a reduction in the 25 cock photos. |
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"I think a lot of men are genuinely perplexed by the site. They come with expectations fuelled by the media and find its a very different place.
I see no harm in asking for profile advice. To me it's like asking for advice on how best to present your cv when applying for a job.
I also can't see any harm in using various methods to attract views to your profile. We're most of us here to garner attention in one way or another otherwise we'd hide our profile, take all photos down and put all message filters on.
Actually it’s like asking the business where you’re applying for advice on how to write your CV and covering letter.
I agree that there’s no harm in look at me threads and attention is exactly why we’re here, it’s people expecting others to do their work for them that I have an issue with"
Yes, I see that.
If I see a very young guy asking for advice I will quite often try and point him in the right direction. With others it depends on how I view their motive. With some you can tell they want a one size fits all profile that contains magic words to attract women while others genuinely struggle with the written word. I tend to try and help the second type if I can. |
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"I think a lot of men are genuinely perplexed by the site. They come with expectations fuelled by the media and find its a very different place.
I see no harm in asking for profile advice. To me it's like asking for advice on how best to present your cv when applying for a job.
I also can't see any harm in using various methods to attract views to your profile. We're most of us here to garner attention in one way or another otherwise we'd hide our profile, take all photos down and put all message filters on.
Actually it’s like asking the business where you’re applying for advice on how to write your CV and covering letter.
I agree that there’s no harm in look at me threads and attention is exactly why we’re here, it’s people expecting others to do their work for them that I have an issue with
Yes, I see that.
If I see a very young guy asking for advice I will quite often try and point him in the right direction. With others it depends on how I view their motive. With some you can tell they want a one size fits all profile that contains magic words to attract women while others genuinely struggle with the written word. I tend to try and help the second type if I can."
This is why I've changed my approach with the threads now. A bit like an employer I suppose asking why someone wants the job, what they expect from it etc.
It can come over as a little  rude, but I'm probing them to find their own answers without them realising it. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"So do we feel the same when a woman or a couple asks for profile advice ?
I’ve found they get a different type of reply more sympathetic and helpful, very few harsh criticisms of what they currently have written or the pictures they’ve uploaded.
Or are we just picking on single guys again, who I wouldn’t blame them for leaving the site as the consistent criticism they get on these forums is coming across as a bad joke these days.
"
There’s a difference between feedback on a profile that’s already been filled in and a blank profile asking for help on filling it in.
Leaping to the defence of ‘poor single guys’ is pointless, especially as it’s not a bias, it’s a reaction to repetitive threads.
Unless you’ve noticed, I’m on a single guy profile. I’m not bashing single guys, I am bashing lazy and entitled people who expect others to do their work for them, if that’s single guys, then that’s how it is |
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"I think a lot of men are genuinely perplexed by the site. They come with expectations fuelled by the media and find its a very different place.
I see no harm in asking for profile advice. To me it's like asking for advice on how best to present your cv when applying for a job.
I also can't see any harm in using various methods to attract views to your profile. We're most of us here to garner attention in one way or another otherwise we'd hide our profile, take all photos down and put all message filters on.
Actually it’s like asking the business where you’re applying for advice on how to write your CV and covering letter.
I agree that there’s no harm in look at me threads and attention is exactly why we’re here, it’s people expecting others to do their work for them that I have an issue with
Yes, I see that.
If I see a very young guy asking for advice I will quite often try and point him in the right direction. With others it depends on how I view their motive. With some you can tell they want a one size fits all profile that contains magic words to attract women while others genuinely struggle with the written word. I tend to try and help the second type if I can.
This is why I've changed my approach with the threads now. A bit like an employer I suppose asking why someone wants the job, what they expect from it etc.
It can come over as a little rude, but I'm probing them to find their own answers without them realising it."
Yeah, I try to do that too. I'm old, I feel a bit sorry for youngsters trying to find their feet I remember not having a clue about stuff. Hell I still don't  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Come on Op, there’s always been blokes asking for profile advice, I don’t know if it’s just laziness or whether some blokes really are that clueless. But if someone else has written your profile it’s not really a representation of who you are, so it’s misleading in a way . |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Come on Op, there’s always been blokes asking for profile advice, I don’t know if it’s just laziness or whether some blokes really are that clueless. But if someone else has written your profile it’s not really a representation of who you are, so it’s misleading in a way ."
That’s very true, it just seems to be increasing these recent weeks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you want females to look at your profile then you start a thread saying....help with my profile....
Is that what you did then? Did you not ask for help on your profile?? "
I've never asked for help on my profile |
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"So do we feel the same when a woman or a couple asks for profile advice ?
I’ve found they get a different type of reply more sympathetic and helpful, very few harsh criticisms of what they currently have written or the pictures they’ve uploaded.
Or are we just picking on single guys again, who I wouldn’t blame them for leaving the site as the consistent criticism they get on these forums is coming across as a bad joke these days.
There’s a difference between feedback on a profile that’s already been filled in and a blank profile asking for help on filling it in.
Leaping to the defence of ‘poor single guys’ is pointless, especially as it’s not a bias, it’s a reaction to repetitive threads.
Unless you’ve noticed, I’m on a single guy profile. I’m not bashing single guys, I am bashing lazy and entitled people who expect others to do their work for them, if that’s single guys, then that’s how it is"
Repetitive threads that are often found on the ‘swinging, support and advice’ section. So these will appear on a regular basis as that’s what that section is attempting to do help people. A few turn up on the lounge but easy to ignore and not start a thread about.
Also, not all are lazy or entitled in fact quite a few are guys who’ve been here for quite some time and do struggle to find their feet on the site. Would we prefer they leave or more experienced people help them come across better ? That’s not about writing the profile or telling them what pictures to display just good honest advice, help and encouragement.
I have no time for the lazy and entitled either if you have a ‘fill in later’ text with a picture of your arse I hope that guy wouldn’t get any help until he’d put in some effort either. But I do see a lot of these threads as genuine as much as I see them as ‘look at me’. |
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Our profile has been lifted word for word and used by other people (God knows why it's hardly outstanding) but we assume the people felt it represented them well. We hope it brings them better luck than it has us |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Our profile has been lifted word for word and used by other people (God knows why it's hardly outstanding) but we assume the people felt it represented them well. We hope it brings them better luck than it has us "
I had that years ago!
I was working in the South West and living near the Dorset/Hants Border, but occasionally headed across towards Reading for work.
I messaged a lady, with a view to meeting (obviously) and got a very strongly worded reply, saying I had a nerve given my recent messages and behaviours and that a change of username didn't change the nastiness I spewed.
I was somewhat taken aback.
Turns out some cheeky chappie had lifted my profile verbatim and was prowling the South East, generally upsetting people and besmirching my good name in the process.
The profile was reported but I had to start from scratch.
Imitation isn't always the best form of flattery  |
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"So do we feel the same when a woman or a couple asks for profile advice ?
I’ve found they get a different type of reply more sympathetic and helpful, very few harsh criticisms of what they currently have written or the pictures they’ve uploaded.
Or are we just picking on single guys again, who I wouldn’t blame them for leaving the site as the consistent criticism they get on these forums is coming across as a bad joke these days.
"
I don’t see many threads of women and couples looking for advice, but those I have seen, the person/people asking have usually already put more effort in that the majority of the men who ask. You might also notice that those men who ask having already made an effort get different and more positive responses than men who’ve made no effort at all.
Personally, I’m still not a fan of profile advice threads whoever starts them. |
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I think it's a good thing if they're genuinely asking for help, but a good profile is only half the battle, they still need to able to hold a conversation.
And that first msg is the most important thing! |
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"Our profile has been lifted word for word and used by other people (God knows why it's hardly outstanding) but we assume the people felt it represented them well. We hope it brings them better luck than it has us
I had that years ago!
I was working in the South West and living near the Dorset/Hants Border, but occasionally headed across towards Reading for work.
I messaged a lady, with a view to meeting (obviously) and got a very strongly worded reply, saying I had a nerve given my recent messages and behaviours and that a change of username didn't change the nastiness I spewed.
I was somewhat taken aback.
Turns out some cheeky chappie had lifted my profile verbatim and was prowling the South East, generally upsetting people and besmirching my good name in the process.
The profile was reported but I had to start from scratch.
Imitation isn't always the best form of flattery "
Oh dear. We've left ours, maybe we should add "accept no imitations" at the bottom  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t like it, personally. I’d rather see an honest profile, good or bad, than a generic one that tells me nothing. If a profile includes something that I find offputting, and I give my opinion on that, if they remove that part then the profile may now be misleading. I’d rather see the red flags so I know who to avoid."
I also don't want people giving profile advice to someone who is incredibly boring/ nasty/ disrespectful. The forum feeds them a generic profile so they can get laid.
Pity the poor person who has to meet them, thinking they are going to be lovely. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don’t like it, personally. I’d rather see an honest profile, good or bad, than a generic one that tells me nothing. If a profile includes something that I find offputting, and I give my opinion on that, if they remove that part then the profile may now be misleading. I’d rather see the red flags so I know who to avoid.
I also don't want people giving profile advice to someone who is incredibly boring/ nasty/ disrespectful. The forum feeds them a generic profile so they can get laid.
Pity the poor person who has to meet them, thinking they are going to be lovely. "
you would hope they would that out of them in early conversation |
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