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Is this just a dating site ?
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By *uv2help OP Man
over a year ago
Tonbridge |
Its next to impossible to find meets that are not just social meets, while safety is always a concern, how important is the social meet ? having very little spare time, arranging social meets is hard, i never know what work shift im on, is spontaneity dead ?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You need to remember the one golden rule - Choice.
Actually two - Availability.
Ladies have a choice, some will meet immediately, some like to see you socially first. I'm in the latter camp.
Availability - not everyone can be spontaneous and need time to arrange things.
There are so many variables that could hinder a potential meet.
When we can obviously  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How important is the social meet?
It's important to feel safe and attracted to them. Its important to know that after they will have a courtesy to check how I feel and make sure we both leave feeling good. You just cannot predict that jumping into someone's bed without a social. Social gives you the extra angle which helps to establish how safe and comfortable you feel with someone, how well they communicate with you and listen... gosh I could go on. I guess less awkward as well to reject someone after social rather than at hotel reception;-)
I'm sure there are people here who are comfortable having sex without much of "getting to know someone". How about just going to clubs, when they open? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's choice OP...
I will only meet guy's who are 6ft tall with one extra long leg, and who's pubes curl anti clock wise.
Otherwise it's just not going to happen!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How important is the social meet?
It's important to feel safe and attracted to them. Its important to know that after they will have a courtesy to check how I feel and make sure we both leave feeling good. You just cannot predict that jumping into someone's bed without a social. Social gives you the extra angle which helps to establish how safe and comfortable you feel with someone, how well they communicate with you and listen... gosh I could go on. I guess less awkward as well to reject someone after social rather than at hotel reception;-)
I'm sure there are people here who are comfortable having sex without much of "getting to know someone". How about just going to clubs, when they open? "
And obviously this ^^^^^  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whats wrong with socials? Surely the person youre conversing with will understand shift patterns and patience OP?
Tired of the moaning about it being like facebook or the blue bird app or women not jumping to attention fast enough. Theres other places to look if folk are just after a fast fuck. Yes some women on here may do last min/spontaneous meets but its not the majority. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
For me, social meets are very important - in fact so much so, that without an initial social meet nothing is going to happen. And a social meet is no guarantee that it will go further.
If I am going to share intimacy with somebody I do not know very well, this is the bare minimum I feel I owe myself.
If a guy is not prepared to meet for a social first, he is not worth my while.
Others may think different. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t want to date you or anyone..but neither do I want to meet a total stranger.
For me...i can’t tell if that Physical attraction is there until I’m face to face with someone...: and I need that to even contemplate getting naked with someone.... no matter how much they promise me a good time.
As a single girl who lives alone.... I also want to be careful who I meet...: too many fruit loops around to not be careful.
Someone can appear all nice and tell you want they think you want to hear if it means they get what they want.... I bet Jack the Ripper didn’t tell his conquests he was gonna slit their throats before meeting them! Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its next to impossible to find meets that are not just social meets, while safety is always a concern, how important is the social meet ? having very little spare time, arranging social meets is hard, i never know what work shift im on, is spontaneity dead ? "
Arranging meets is very hard. People have lives. We had lots of people cancel meets with us. The toughest was 2 singles, m and f. Trying to get everyone on the page at the same time was next to Impossible. Then we got ghosted by the f and then the m didn't turn up.
Frustrating but people have lives |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"At the moment it is more a social media site as meeting is not allowed.
I'm taking time to make contacts and connections, nothing set in stone, but who knows what the future holds"
Got to say, I quite enjoy the social side of it, no judgement from like minded people and I cant wait for the meets after this because we will have better connections so couldnt agree more with this |
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By *exyMPCouple
over a year ago
SOUTHEND-ON-SEA |
In normal times, whatever they were !! We'd always have a social meet first, so we know what their personalty is like.
Otherwise, we might as well just ask any randomer if he / she / they want to jump her / him / us.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"At the moment it is more a social media site as meeting is not allowed.
I'm taking time to make contacts and connections, nothing set in stone, but who knows what the future holds
Got to say, I quite enjoy the social side of it, no judgement from like minded people and I cant wait for the meets after this because we will have better connections so couldnt agree more with this "
Definitely have a better connection after a social. You can relax more without the pre meet nerves! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You need to remember the one golden rule - Choice.
Actually two - Availability.
Ladies have a choice, some will meet immediately, some like to see you socially first. I'm in the latter camp.
Availability - not everyone can be spontaneous and need time to arrange things.
There are so many variables that could hinder a potential meet.
When we can obviously "
Three ... Covid. |
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You have to take the rough with the smooth. A social meet is essential for many, including us. It may not be your choice, but if it's between a social that may lead to more or not meeting at all, I suggest you go for the social. Play the long game. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its next to impossible to find meets that are not just social meets, while safety is always a concern, how important is the social meet ? having very little spare time, arranging social meets is hard, i never know what work shift im on, is spontaneity dead ? "
You tell them Op, stamp stamp stamp |
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"Its next to impossible to find meets that are not just social meets, while safety is always a concern, how important is the social meet ? having very little spare time, arranging social meets is hard, i never know what work shift im on, is spontaneity dead ? "
Buzzkill - I wouldn’t wanna miss the company of a well-heeled fab meet spending time chatting, touching, teasing and building up
I know this is fab, but most women look prettier dressed too, you know |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"Its next to impossible to find meets that are not just social meets, while safety is always a concern, how important is the social meet ? having very little spare time, arranging social meets is hard, i never know what work shift im on, is spontaneity dead ? "
Did you not just answer your question?
Safety is always a concern, yours as well as theirs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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TBH I think your profile is not up to scratch 1) you talk about relationships getting in the way .So that could mean you're a cheat.( very unattractive to some people ) Plus Men in relationships are more likely to stand you up more than single Men.
You wouldn't believe how unreliable single Men are on here . If we had 50% of them turn up we'd be happy.
Was just joking with another couple only the other Day about Men in relationships. Are really struggling on here in lock down.Has it's really hard for them to lie about Where they're going to their partner.
2) Then you just go on to moan , how's that selling yourself?
3) No pictures, OK so you don't want to put pictures up. Well plenty of other Men do put pictures up,even some with face pictures and there's lots to choose from for Single women and Couples. So why bother with someone without pictures?
Has for socials we love to invite people into our home. We sit them down in our front room and offer them a drink hot or cold .Then we have a nice relaxed, chilled out chat . Which always ends up with us having full sex.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its next to impossible to find meets that are not just social meets, while safety is always a concern, how important is the social meet ? having very little spare time, arranging social meets is hard, i never know what work shift im on, is spontaneity dead ? "
Go to the Pantiles. I'm sure there's some spontaneous stuff happening there |
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"I don’t want to date you or anyone..but neither do I want to meet a total stranger.
For me...i can’t tell if that Physical attraction is there until I’m face to face with someone...: and I need that to even contemplate getting naked with someone.... no matter how much they promise me a good time.
As a single girl who lives alone.... I also want to be careful who I meet...: too many fruit loops around to not be careful.
Someone can appear all nice and tell you want they think you want to hear if it means they get what they want.... I bet Jack the Ripper didn’t tell his conquests he was gonna slit their throats before meeting them! Lol"
I'm the same. Single girl can't be too careful and safety is hugely important.
Along with connection often found people are completely different online to how they are in person |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's choice OP...
I will only meet guy's who are 6ft tall with one extra long leg, and who's pubes curl anti clock wise.
You called?  "
Oooh let's play the "Tow ball" game.. You first!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lady’s have lot of choice like a sweet shop do I want tall small hairy or not big cock little cock go for personality go for man with zero personality it’s endless I’d go for the sherbet lemons but that’s me tangy on the outside bit screw you’re face up lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Socials are great and almost a necessity all the fakes and lies that get spun on here mean it's always a good idea to meet first before going to some ones house I would say 1 in 5 women I meet off here look nothing like the pics they send, obviously haven't met anyone off here for a year and short of socials there isn't much else you can do at the moment while the pandemic is on. |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
"Socials are great and almost a necessity all the fakes and lies that get spun on here mean it's always a good idea to meet first before going to some ones house I would say 1 in 5 women I meet off here look nothing like the pics they send, obviously haven't met anyone off here for a year and short of socials there isn't much else you can do at the moment while the pandemic is on. "
Exactly, you can check they are who they have said they are and if you get on in person
Can all be a bit awkward otherwise in my opinion. |
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By *imbobaMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"Its next to impossible to find meets that are not just social meets, while safety is always a concern, how important is the social meet ? having very little spare time, arranging social meets is hard, i never know what work shift im on, is spontaneity dead ? "
Sounds to me you’d be happier with a call girl scenario. Zero effort for you at a time that suits you. |
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I don’t know how you equate one social with dating tbh.
But as for how important it is, well for me it’s essential.
1) Safety. You mention it as if it’s not that important, but I really want to minimise my risk of ending up a statistic as much as I can. A social isn’t foolproof, but I can get a sense for whether they’re dodgy better in person than by messaging. Plus if they can’t stick to the boundaries stated for a social, they won’t stick to other boundaries either, so I won’t consider them safe to meet.
2) It means if they’re catfishing with old or stolen photos, I’ll find out before it’s too late.
3) If, as has happened to me twice, I get stood up for a social, it’s annoying but not the end of the world. If I get stood up for a play meet, which I’ve probably turned down other offers for, I’m going to be absolutely furious. If they don’t turn up for the social, I’m done with them.
4) Until I meet them in person, I can’t be sure if I like them or fancy them enough to take it further. A social lets me find that out without pressure. Not to mention that one time when someone kissed me goodbye after a social and I found it really offputting and decided I wouldn’t want more of that.
None of that seems like dating to me, just trying to make sure that my own very limited time is spent in the most pleasurable way possible. |
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By *uv2help OP Man
over a year ago
Tonbridge |
No im not in a relationship, but have been in them and abstained from here when i have been, im all for the social side of things (sooner the better), it was just a question how important social meets are to people, i guess i should have said how many people require a second meeting before moving forward if theres a spark.
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"You need to remember the one golden rule - Choice.
Actually two - Availability.
Ladies have a choice, some will meet immediately, some like to see you socially first. I'm in the latter camp.
Availability - not everyone can be spontaneous and need time to arrange things.
There are so many variables that could hinder a potential meet.
When we can obviously "
Your right, FAB is kind of a Swiss cheese model (except this time you want the holes to align). It's difficult for both preferences and availability all to line up at the same time. I found this true a single guy. Especially exacerbated by being a working single parent when so many women I was talking to were also single parents so difficult to get kid free, work free time to match. But also it seems just as difficult as a couple looking to meet other couples. Especially considering the more people involved the more potential there is of a clashes of preference. Plus with a couples life also comes extra joint priorities, commitments and intrests. Basically hitting a slab of cheese is the nature of the beast.
And of course that is the beauty of clubs. At least when you meet people in a club the issuse of a availability and accommodation has been removed. That's clubs work so well for us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me, social meets are very important - in fact so much so, that without an initial social meet nothing is going to happen. And a social meet is no guarantee that it will go further.
If I am going to share intimacy with somebody I do not know very well, this is the bare minimum I feel I owe myself.
If a guy is not prepared to meet for a social first, he is not worth my while.
Others may think different. "
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Very. To me a social is just a quick coffee, maybe an hour? That's not hard to fit in a busy schedule.
As a female I need to feel safe, know who I'm meeting, make sure there is an attraction in real life and not just on the screen.
It would only take the once though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No im not in a relationship, but have been in them and abstained from here when i have been, im all for the social side of things (sooner the better), it was just a question how important social meets are to people, i guess i should have said how many people require a second meeting before moving forward if theres a spark.
"
If the first social has gone well (i personally) aim for moving forward if there is a spark. I dont require endless socials but thats just me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you cant find time for a social - a coffee etc - how will you find time for a shag/ fuck / love making / porking / daliance etc ?(choose verb as appropriate) |
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"Its next to impossible to find meets that are not just social meets, while safety is always a concern, how important is the social meet ? having very little spare time, arranging social meets is hard, i never know what work shift im on, is spontaneity dead ? "
How important is a social? I absolutely insist.
How does this relate to your title? No this is not a dating site, the clue is is the name. The vast majority of couples in here aren't looking to date. Plenty of the singles aren't either.
Do we want to know we'll be respected whilst fucking before stepping through your door and stripping off - damn right.
If having a social isn't for you, then don't, keep looking for profiles who are on the same page as you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t know how you equate one social with dating tbh.
But as for how important it is, well for me it’s essential.
1) Safety. You mention it as if it’s not that important, but I really want to minimise my risk of ending up a statistic as much as I can. A social isn’t foolproof, but I can get a sense for whether they’re dodgy better in person than by messaging. Plus if they can’t stick to the boundaries stated for a social, they won’t stick to other boundaries either, so I won’t consider them safe to meet.
2) It means if they’re catfishing with old or stolen photos, I’ll find out before it’s too late.
3) If, as has happened to me twice, I get stood up for a social, it’s annoying but not the end of the world. If I get stood up for a play meet, which I’ve probably turned down other offers for, I’m going to be absolutely furious. If they don’t turn up for the social, I’m done with them.
4) Until I meet them in person, I can’t be sure if I like them or fancy them enough to take it further. A social lets me find that out without pressure. Not to mention that one time when someone kissed me goodbye after a social and I found it really offputting and decided I wouldn’t want more of that.
None of that seems like dating to me, just trying to make sure that my own very limited time is spent in the most pleasurable way possible."
May I ask why that goodbye kiss was off-putting? Did the person actually say goodbye? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Socials for me are vital. I'm not attracted to someone properly until I meet them. There have been times when I've fancied someone's photos, but then in person it just doesn't click. I want to find that out before I get into their bedroom!
With the right person, the social can build enormous sexual chemistry that makes the physical meet much better. |
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Socials are essential to me for meeting new people, these will generally be short notice. Could be months or more though between social and play meet if it happens at all.
I also work shifts and have fuck all social life when working (start back in May when we reopen) but on the rare occasion I do get a night off and have some spare funds I'll go to a club. I tend not to make plans, my rota can change day to day, and knowing this it's unfair of me to mess other people about. So yeah, makes more sense for me to make a night of it at a club than bitch about other people not being able to fit around me when it's my circumstances that make things awkward. |
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"I don’t know how you equate one social with dating tbh.
But as for how important it is, well for me it’s essential.
1) Safety. You mention it as if it’s not that important, but I really want to minimise my risk of ending up a statistic as much as I can. A social isn’t foolproof, but I can get a sense for whether they’re dodgy better in person than by messaging. Plus if they can’t stick to the boundaries stated for a social, they won’t stick to other boundaries either, so I won’t consider them safe to meet.
2) It means if they’re catfishing with old or stolen photos, I’ll find out before it’s too late.
3) If, as has happened to me twice, I get stood up for a social, it’s annoying but not the end of the world. If I get stood up for a play meet, which I’ve probably turned down other offers for, I’m going to be absolutely furious. If they don’t turn up for the social, I’m done with them.
4) Until I meet them in person, I can’t be sure if I like them or fancy them enough to take it further. A social lets me find that out without pressure. Not to mention that one time when someone kissed me goodbye after a social and I found it really offputting and decided I wouldn’t want more of that.
None of that seems like dating to me, just trying to make sure that my own very limited time is spent in the most pleasurable way possible."
All of this - exactly. If the world out there isn’t safe when you’re just walking home at night alone it certainly isn’t safe to invite a total stranger to your home for sex without even meeting them first. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its next to impossible to find meets that are not just social meets, while safety is always a concern, how important is the social meet ? having very little spare time, arranging social meets is hard, i never know what work shift im on, is spontaneity dead ? "
Arranging social meets is hard , but arranging a play meet would be easily arranged ?
A meet is a meet isn't it ? Just perhaps not the instant gratification that you'd prefer ?
Maybe I've missed the memo that being on here means I should shag anyone who asks to meet 
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"Its next to impossible to find meets that are not just social meets, while safety is always a concern, how important is the social meet ? having very little spare time, arranging social meets is hard, i never know what work shift im on, is spontaneity dead ? "
Maybe if your profile wasn't hidden you'd have a bit more luck.
For us a social meeting is essential. We're not here to meet guys who just want to get their end away. |
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"I don’t know how you equate one social with dating tbh.
But as for how important it is, well for me it’s essential.
1) Safety. You mention it as if it’s not that important, but I really want to minimise my risk of ending up a statistic as much as I can. A social isn’t foolproof, but I can get a sense for whether they’re dodgy better in person than by messaging. Plus if they can’t stick to the boundaries stated for a social, they won’t stick to other boundaries either, so I won’t consider them safe to meet.
2) It means if they’re catfishing with old or stolen photos, I’ll find out before it’s too late.
3) If, as has happened to me twice, I get stood up for a social, it’s annoying but not the end of the world. If I get stood up for a play meet, which I’ve probably turned down other offers for, I’m going to be absolutely furious. If they don’t turn up for the social, I’m done with them.
4) Until I meet them in person, I can’t be sure if I like them or fancy them enough to take it further. A social lets me find that out without pressure. Not to mention that one time when someone kissed me goodbye after a social and I found it really offputting and decided I wouldn’t want more of that.
None of that seems like dating to me, just trying to make sure that my own very limited time is spent in the most pleasurable way possible.
May I ask why that goodbye kiss was off-putting? Did the person actually say goodbye? "
It was the technique tbh, it took everything I had not to recoil. I’m fine with a kiss at the end of a social, it wasn’t that I was offended by being kissed. It was the weird swirling thing with the tongue that made me think I can’t have sex with this person. Kissing is a huge turn-on for me, but on the flip side nothing turns me off faster than a bad kiss. |
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"
With the right person, the social can build enormous sexual chemistry that makes the physical meet much better."
This, too. I’ll never forget my social with the man who became my FWB, because the chemistry was instant and electric. The anticipation it created for the proper meet was unbelievable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dunno about any other guy but i can’t jump into bed with a women without knowing if there’s some sort of connection first, a social is vital for this, stimulate the mind and the body will follow as the saying goes, if you’re looking for spontaneous, maybe try your local red light district? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its next to impossible to find meets that are not just social meets, while safety is always a concern, how important is the social meet ? having very little spare time, arranging social meets is hard, i never know what work shift im on, is spontaneity dead ? "
This is a swinging site, it tends to get used as a hook up site though. How can anyone get to know someone through online chat enough to get jiggy with them, so a social meet or meets is absolutely essential in my book in order to get a feel (narratively speaking) for that person. If they are in a rush it will be obvious and to be avoided. Thats my rant. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its next to impossible to find meets that are not just social meets, while safety is always a concern, how important is the social meet ? having very little spare time, arranging social meets is hard, i never know what work shift im on, is spontaneity dead ? "
So after my previous flippant comment,
We can connect through messages fscetime even, but thst is all virtual, lacking the kettle element of body language. Which tells us so much on a subconscious level, tho little red flags, little tell tale things thst can be missed virtually, not until I see somebody, hear somebody in person physically do I get a real and proper feel for them...
In that do I really know if that raw sexual chemistry is there, which is based on more than physical appearance well it is for me, there are more subtle things at play |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have only done one social and that was with someone who was desperate to meet me, whom I'd become friends with and who knew we would not be playing
The others have been play dates as soon as the door opened |
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