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Peeing in a cup
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" 
Is it one of those little tube ones?! They’re ridiculous. "
It's the standard ones you get from the pharmacy.
I had to clean the outside and the sticker scrubbed off. They're going to think that I have a gale force stream when I hand this in  |
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"Why do they still have to make this so hard for women to do??
#MakeFunnelsCompulsory"
When I was in hospital a couple of months ago, they did actually give me a funnel with the little pot, first time I’ve ever had that. |
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My Dr's give you a pack with the test tube in and one of those cone shaped cups. Makes it very easy.
They also have a little shelf in the bowl of thd toilet for you to put the test tube in if doing it there but I don't think that's very sanitary unless you clean it first  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why do they still have to make this so hard for women to do??
#MakeFunnelsCompulsory
When I was in hospital a couple of months ago, they did actually give me a funnel with the little pot, first time I’ve ever had that."
My first ever pee test had that. It just set me up for disappointment  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I was given a little disposable jug last time, with a spout so I could pour the wee into the tube.
It was a revelation not to be covered in piss!"
Wow that sounds fancy! I doubt the pharmacy would give me all that for 50p though haha. To be fair I would pay extra to not be covered in wee!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Is it one of those little tube ones?! They’re ridiculous.
It's the standard ones you get from the pharmacy.
I had to clean the outside and the sticker scrubbed off. They're going to think that I have a gale force stream when I hand this in "
That made me laugh!  |
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"The easiest urine sample I've ever given was one time in the hospital they literally just put a bowl in the toilet  .
Who empties the bowl..?  "
The nurse put it in and told me just to go for a wee as normal and tell her when I was done then she went to get it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You could make pretty patterns on the ground with it, then you could be described as a piss artist. "
I'd really rather not, but thanks for the suggestion  |
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"The easiest urine sample I've ever given was one time in the hospital they literally just put a bowl in the toilet . "
They did that after I gave birth last time. Apparently its not normal to ask for a second one and to excrete 1.6L of urine
I became quite adept at peeing into the tube ones though.... |
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"Why do they still have to make this so hard for women to do??
#MakeFunnelsCompulsory"
I always took a plastic cup out and about with the kids on holiday incase they needed to pee and there wasn't a toilet available.
Worked a treat until one night the cup had to be used. I was carrying it about until I could find somewhere to get rid of it.
Just so happens I was holding a pint in my other hand...
I'm sure you can guess what happened next
 |
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"The easiest urine sample I've ever given was one time in the hospital they literally just put a bowl in the toilet .
They did that after I gave birth last time. Apparently its not normal to ask for a second one and to excrete 1.6L of urine
I became quite adept at peeing into the tube ones though...."
I still don't know why they did that with me rather than just give me a pot. Unless the wanted to see how much I peed or wanted the full sample.
1.6L is impressive!
I've always found doing it in the pot ok. I start peeing first then place the pot under the stream. Trying to hold the pot and guess where the stream of pee is going to be before you start is a recipe for disaster . Samples are supposed to be midstream anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why do they still have to make this so hard for women to do??
#MakeFunnelsCompulsory
I always took a plastic cup out and about with the kids on holiday incase they needed to pee and there wasn't a toilet available.
Worked a treat until one night the cup had to be used. I was carrying it about until I could find somewhere to get rid of it.
Just so happens I was holding a pint in my other hand...
I'm sure you can guess what happened next
"
I think I can, but I really don't want to... |
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"The easiest urine sample I've ever given was one time in the hospital they literally just put a bowl in the toilet .
They did that after I gave birth last time. Apparently its not normal to ask for a second one and to excrete 1.6L of urine
I became quite adept at peeing into the tube ones though....
I still don't know why they did that with me rather than just give me a pot. Unless the wanted to see how much I peed or wanted the full sample.
1.6L is impressive!
I've always found doing it in the pot ok. I start peeing first then place the pot under the stream. Trying to hold the pot and guess where the stream of pee is going to be before you start is a recipe for disaster . Samples are supposed to be midstream anyway. "
Turns out my bladder is over stretched. Oh well
Yes samples are indeed supposed to be midstream. They did the whole sample collection piss in a bucket thing after my vag repair surgery too, you have to pass a voiding test before they let you go home! A pissing exam  |
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"You could make pretty patterns on the ground with it, then you could be described as a piss artist.
I'd really rather not, but thanks for the suggestion "
When we was little boys we used to do that in the snow when we needed to relieve ourselves, but we were too innocent to know what piss artists were back then. |
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"The easiest urine sample I've ever given was one time in the hospital they literally just put a bowl in the toilet .
They did that after I gave birth last time. Apparently its not normal to ask for a second one and to excrete 1.6L of urine
I became quite adept at peeing into the tube ones though....
I still don't know why they did that with me rather than just give me a pot. Unless the wanted to see how much I peed or wanted the full sample.
1.6L is impressive!
I've always found doing it in the pot ok. I start peeing first then place the pot under the stream. Trying to hold the pot and guess where the stream of pee is going to be before you start is a recipe for disaster . Samples are supposed to be midstream anyway.
Turns out my bladder is over stretched. Oh well
Yes samples are indeed supposed to be midstream. They did the whole sample collection piss in a bucket thing after my vag repair surgery too, you have to pass a voiding test before they let you go home! A pissing exam "
A pissing exam you obviously thought required quantity over quality . You really showed them you could pee for England . |
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"The easiest urine sample I've ever given was one time in the hospital they literally just put a bowl in the toilet .
They did that after I gave birth last time. Apparently its not normal to ask for a second one and to excrete 1.6L of urine
I became quite adept at peeing into the tube ones though....
I still don't know why they did that with me rather than just give me a pot. Unless the wanted to see how much I peed or wanted the full sample.
1.6L is impressive!
I've always found doing it in the pot ok. I start peeing first then place the pot under the stream. Trying to hold the pot and guess where the stream of pee is going to be before you start is a recipe for disaster . Samples are supposed to be midstream anyway.
Turns out my bladder is over stretched. Oh well
Yes samples are indeed supposed to be midstream. They did the whole sample collection piss in a bucket thing after my vag repair surgery too, you have to pass a voiding test before they let you go home! A pissing exam
A pissing exam you obviously thought required quantity over quality . You really showed them you could pee for England . "
I passed the pissing exam! There were two "papers" and you had to pass the first one before moving on to the second one. The consequence of failure was a catheter back in |
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"How often does the wee go straight down though? Yeah, the last few drops at the end but if I'm full bladdered I can piss sideways. Like putting my thumb over a hosepipe and hoping for the best  "
I always lean forwards now after one unfortunate incident where it shot straight through the gap between the toilet seat and the porcelain . |
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"How often does the wee go straight down though? Yeah, the last few drops at the end but if I'm full bladdered I can piss sideways. Like putting my thumb over a hosepipe and hoping for the best
I always lean forwards now after one unfortunate incident where it shot straight through the gap between the toilet seat and the porcelain . "
Guess what happens to your pee stream when your womb is falling down and squashing your bladder |
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"How often does the wee go straight down though? Yeah, the last few drops at the end but if I'm full bladdered I can piss sideways. Like putting my thumb over a hosepipe and hoping for the best
I always lean forwards now after one unfortunate incident where it shot straight through the gap between the toilet seat and the porcelain . "
Oh hell, I don't care how intoxicated I am, I also learned that lesson
The pissing equivalent of threading a needle! |
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Joking aside, as I've said on my profile, I'm also my mums carer. I have to get urine samples analised fairly regularly to check for infection. I get things like paper mashe hat's from the surgery to catch the full offering, and then pour some into a sample bottle, and away to go dude, laboratory here we come. On those days I'm really taking the piss, quite literally. There's never any question of my mum having to learn the skill of target practice. |
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"How often does the wee go straight down though? Yeah, the last few drops at the end but if I'm full bladdered I can piss sideways. Like putting my thumb over a hosepipe and hoping for the best
I always lean forwards now after one unfortunate incident where it shot straight through the gap between the toilet seat and the porcelain .
Guess what happens to your pee stream when your womb is falling down and squashing your bladder "
|
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"How often does the wee go straight down though? Yeah, the last few drops at the end but if I'm full bladdered I can piss sideways. Like putting my thumb over a hosepipe and hoping for the best
I always lean forwards now after one unfortunate incident where it shot straight through the gap between the toilet seat and the porcelain .
Oh hell, I don't care how intoxicated I am, I also learned that lesson
The pissing equivalent of threading a needle! "
Should have shouted bullseye |
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"How often does the wee go straight down though? Yeah, the last few drops at the end but if I'm full bladdered I can piss sideways. Like putting my thumb over a hosepipe and hoping for the best
I always lean forwards now after one unfortunate incident where it shot straight through the gap between the toilet seat and the porcelain .
Guess what happens to your pee stream when your womb is falling down and squashing your bladder
"
Exactly!! I had to keep my support thingy out for going on 12 wks and I'd forgotten how shit it was. Back in now, so thankfully not too bad |
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"At least you get a cup, I seem to be given a teeny tiny little test tube type thing that’s full in about 0.003 seconds and then just loading on my hand "
Nope, we get the teeny test tube and have to aim in it and not let it touch our undercarriage either! Every pregnancy appointment, I was given a test tube type thing... |
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"
Is it one of those little tube ones?! They’re ridiculous.
It's the standard ones you get from the pharmacy.
I had to clean the outside and the sticker scrubbed off. They're going to think that I have a gale force stream when I hand this in "
They could assume that you were a prime candidate for a squirting competition |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
So after all that palaver I've only gone and bloody forgotten my cup in the fridge... *facepalm*
Got to the surgery and they've handed me one of the test tube ones, which is even smaller than what I had to work with last night.
What next, a thimble?! |
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"The easiest urine sample I've ever given was one time in the hospital they literally just put a bowl in the toilet .
They did that after I gave birth last time. Apparently its not normal to ask for a second one and to excrete 1.6L of urine
I became quite adept at peeing into the tube ones though....
I still don't know why they did that with me rather than just give me a pot. Unless the wanted to see how much I peed or wanted the full sample.
1.6L is impressive!
I've always found doing it in the pot ok. I start peeing first then place the pot under the stream. Trying to hold the pot and guess where the stream of pee is going to be before you start is a recipe for disaster . Samples are supposed to be midstream anyway.
Turns out my bladder is over stretched. Oh well
Yes samples are indeed supposed to be midstream. They did the whole sample collection piss in a bucket thing after my vag repair surgery too, you have to pass a voiding test before they let you go home! A pissing exam
A pissing exam you obviously thought required quantity over quality . You really showed them you could pee for England . "
Piss easy  |
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"So after all that palaver I've only gone and bloody forgotten my cup in the fridge... *facepalm*
Got to the surgery and they've handed me one of the test tube ones, which is even smaller than what I had to work with last night.
What next, a thimble?! "
Its do-able Amber! I'm living proof of it |
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