FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Why don’t people just get back to people with a I like u or I don’t
Why don’t people just get back to people with a I like u or I don’t
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If they don’t reply then they’re not interested.
They’re likely sick of the abuse that often comes when you politely say no thanks on here."
I hear that but half the time men get judged for other people being abusive or don’t get the message when told straight |
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"If they don’t reply then they’re not interested.
They’re likely sick of the abuse that often comes when you politely say no thanks on here.
I hear that but half the time men get judged for other people being abusive or don’t get the message when told straight "
Well, perhaps you should get on the cases of the other men then...
Rather than expecting folks to take shit just because you feel like the rules, that quite clearly state no reply = not interested, are wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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no no no guys who fuck up only fuck it up for themselves and themselves only .. guys who moan that they are getting no where because of what other men have done use it as an excuse ... if your getting no where then its down to you not other men but also you are one of many wanted by so few ....ie men have it hard due to numbers women and couples (most of the time) have it easier (i think) ...and the abuse we get for saying no thanks is unreal...
should be a big notice flashed at people before they join if you cant handle rejection then swinging is not for you because swinging does not mean sex at the snap of your fingers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just say it how it is so people don’t live on hope "
Unfortunately, that response comes from lessons learned.
Way too often, after responding with a polite decline, it seems to invite conversation, like they feel they have a bite and if they say this, then that, we may just change our mind.
Add to that We're here to live out fantasies and have lots of fun, when online we're busy trying to make that happen, not here to spend most of our time conversing with this we have no interest.
If you can accept that nobody owes you a response just because you find their profile appealing, then you'll enjoy the site more.
Grab their attention, more chance of getting a reply.
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everytime I see one of these threads, I do wonder how quickly a guys attitude would change if the shoe was on the other foot. With the volume of messages, it's impossible to reply to every single one. I used to in the past but some guys take that as a 'chance to convince you otherwise' or just straight out abuse you. Take a no reply as not interested, nobody owes anyone anything on here. We all have the right to manage our profiles as we wish  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's called vulnerability.
Most people protect themselves from hurt and pain by not sharing very personal information about themselves. Such as who they like |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just say it how it is so people don’t live on hope "
Most women's profiles actually will tell you what they want. But men read those profiles, see they aren't a match, but message in hope.
Why should we reply? We've told you what we want to save us getting bombarded by men we don't want |
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By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago
'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks |
"Just say it how it is so people don’t live on hope
Most women's profiles actually will tell you what they want. But men read those profiles, see they aren't a match, but message in hope.
Why should we reply? We've told you what we want to save us getting bombarded by men we don't want "
Precisely this! |
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Because when women allow single men to message them, they get so many messages that replying to them all would be a full time job.
Because lots would just reply trying to convince you or get nasty saying you're fat/ugly anyway or saying you're up yourself.
Because once you reply, even if you then use filters to block their demographic from messaging you, they'll always be able to get around that unless you block their profile completely.
Because we're here to enjoy ourselves, not spend hours writing out rejection messages. |
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"Because when women allow single men to message them, they get so many messages that replying to them all would be a full time job.
Because lots would just reply trying to convince you or get nasty saying you're fat/ugly anyway or saying you're up yourself.
Because once you reply, even if you then use filters to block their demographic from messaging you, they'll always be able to get around that unless you block their profile completely.
Because we're here to enjoy ourselves, not spend hours writing out rejection messages. "
Exactly this |
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"Just say it how it is so people don’t live on hope "
Why don’t you reply to every piece of junk mail that you get?
“To the owner of Majestic Kebabs. Thank you for your informative and colourful leaflet outlining you wares and current offers, having considered your undoubtedly broad range of treats I have decided to go with KFC, chin up and happy kebabing” |
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By *rder66Man
over a year ago
Tatooine |
It is clear that if thy don't respomd, they are not interested.
Don't take it as an attack on your character, people have to base the initial attraction from very little: a few pictures, profile infomation and an opening statement.
I'm sure if you went to a social or clube (when they re-open) that you could present yourself they way you actualy are.
Women get so many messages and expecting to meet someone based on the above, during a pandemic doesn't shine the brightest light on you.
If you meet someone at a club or social, it might be someone who deleted a message off here, and you might hit it off. Don't take in personnaly.
Some of the people that have met others from here have made connacts and friends through the forums or use it to keep in contact with those they have met in clubs or socials. (If you are one of them).
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just say it how it is so people don’t live on hope "
What is it about fab, and people expecting shit from others, sorry drop the sense of ENTITLEMENT, im going to burst your bubble Op, its COCK HEAVY
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Every day there is a thread on here from a man complaining that people don’t respond and everyday there is a thread on here from a woman saying that they got a load of abuse from a man they responded too.
OP. Do you think the two could be linked?
Site rules state clearly, that no response is an acceptable way to state a lack of interest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Every day there is a thread on here from a man complaining that people don’t respond and everyday there is a thread on here from a woman saying that they got a load of abuse from a man they responded too.
OP. Do you think the two could be linked?
Site rules state clearly, that no response is an acceptable way to state a lack of interest. "
I’ve been here three weeks and this is the truth.
I’ve had around 1000 messages in that time. I have replied to 4 of those.
No response IS a response. |
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"Just say it how it is so people don’t live on hope "
I assume that you contact every takeaway that drops a leaflet through your door... just to let them know that tonight you're actually having a pie and chips you bought from Aldi, so you won't be using them ? |
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By *rder66Man
over a year ago
Tatooine |
"Just say it how it is so people don’t live on hope
I assume that you contact every takeaway that drops a leaflet through your door... just to let them know that tonight you're actually having a pie and chips you bought from Aldi, so you won't be using them ?"
That's a good analogy, plain, simple but, very good. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just say it how it is so people don’t live on hope
I assume that you contact every takeaway that drops a leaflet through your door... just to let them know that tonight you're actually having a pie and chips you bought from Aldi, so you won't be using them ?"
Now that makes sense of the junk mail analogy. |
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"Just say it how it is so people don’t live on hope
I assume that you contact every takeaway that drops a leaflet through your door... just to let them know that tonight you're actually having a pie and chips you bought from Aldi, so you won't be using them ?"
What type of pie though? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just say it how it is so people don’t live on hope
I assume that you contact every takeaway that drops a leaflet through your door... just to let them know that tonight you're actually having a pie and chips you bought from Aldi, so you won't be using them ?
What type of pie though? "
So ‘no thank you’ wasn’t enough for you? You need further clarity?
One rejection often leads to several more messages. Your response demonstrated that beautifully. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just say it how it is so people don’t live on hope
I assume that you contact every takeaway that drops a leaflet through your door... just to let them know that tonight you're actually having a pie and chips you bought from Aldi, so you won't be using them ?
What type of pie though? "
Its fab so has to be finger pie |
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You joined 2 weeks ago and you want to change the site 
If no one is replying back then I’d look at what I could do to enhance my chances.
You haven’t asked for profile advice so I won’t give any.
However, BigHardBarry did yesterday and I remember telling him that he needed to get a variety of pics up to show himself off. Different ones, not the stock pic that single guys seem to think will have them knee deep in women. He also needed to make his profile bio interesting and not standard, so he had a chance to stand out from the 1,000’s of other profiles that looked the same. He also needed to send good tailored messages.
Then when all 3 of those things were done and he still wasn’t getting responses could he wonder why.
But I told him that even then moaning would get him nowhere...no one gets pity sex on this site.
The successful ones make an effort.
Barry has since messaged and after taking my advice said he’s now fighting them off with a stick...we’ll done Barry! 
K |
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Quite a lot of guys come here with totally unrealistic expectations and unwilling to put more than the minimum of effort into their profiles, messages and site presence. It's almost as if they believe a few cock shots and a one liner about how horny they are and the size of their cock is enough to open the floodgates of desperate nymphomaniacs just waiting to service their every sexual need. After a couple of days/weeks lazily firing off winks and one liners to all and sundry but getting nowhere fast, rather than try a bit harder, they complain about people being rude, ignorant or even too choosy. Yes they even accuse people of being too choosy FGS! I'd love to know how they behave and what their expectations of others are in their 'real lives'. On second thoughts maybe I don't... |
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No reply means no thanks.
I'm not going to "reply either way" because that's just wasting my time and yours, or they think it's an invite to further conversation.
Occasionally I'll reply "not for me thanks" if they've made an effort or I like their profile but we're just not suited for some reason. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just say it how it is so people don’t live on hope
I assume that you contact every takeaway that drops a leaflet through your door... just to let them know that tonight you're actually having a pie and chips you bought from Aldi, so you won't be using them ?
What type of pie though?
So ‘no thank you’ wasn’t enough for you? You need further clarity?
One rejection often leads to several more messages. Your response demonstrated that beautifully. "
Pretty sure he was just making a joke, not being an ass. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just say it how it is so people don’t live on hope
I assume that you contact every takeaway that drops a leaflet through your door... just to let them know that tonight you're actually having a pie and chips you bought from Aldi, so you won't be using them ?
What type of pie though?
So ‘no thank you’ wasn’t enough for you? You need further clarity?
One rejection often leads to several more messages. Your response demonstrated that beautifully.
Pretty sure he was just making a joke, not being an ass. "
I didn’t say he was. I just said his response demonstrated the effect of replying ‘no’ often triggers more messages and gave him a thumbs up for showing that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just say it how it is so people don’t live on hope
I assume that you contact every takeaway that drops a leaflet through your door... just to let them know that tonight you're actually having a pie and chips you bought from Aldi, so you won't be using them ?
What type of pie though?
So ‘no thank you’ wasn’t enough for you? You need further clarity?
One rejection often leads to several more messages. Your response demonstrated that beautifully.
Pretty sure he was just making a joke, not being an ass.
I didn’t say he was. I just said his response demonstrated the effect of replying ‘no’ often triggers more messages and gave him a thumbs up for showing that. "
Aha!  |
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"Just say it how it is so people don’t live on hope "
Fab is like ( should be like). the school disco theory
Ask every girl in the building to dance and eventually one will.
But it's not like that because the girls won't listen or have heard /seen too much bullshit.. So you can ask them.. But they won't reply.. Most new people in fab don't see that being ignored is like being told 'no' so they get the hump about it and start questioning themselves, what they look like act or say.. Don't! Your fine as you are OP.. You just need to understand how Fab works
Its soul destroying, desperate, sometimes people are quite rude and nasty and most of the time the place can leave you with a completely numb feeling like the one you get putting on your clothes after seeing a working girl for an hour .
Though.. if you can accept Fab for what it is? happy to put in the actual time, effort and expense needed to write individual, clever perfectly crafted messages?. ( people get shirty with cut and paste BTW !) who knows how you are meant to avoid that if you are sending a hundred messages a day though!.. Is it quantity or quality you want OP? . A hole to root? Or intelligent conversation and friendship that lasts .Try plenty of Fi*h.. The women on there can be pretty loose too!
Occasionally and rarely someone comes along on Fab who actually talks back or even may want to meet you for a coffee . In that respect it's like real life but it hasn't / shouldn't have been happening in Covid.
Most of the time it's a lot of desperate people looking for dirty sex .. And an ego boost.. Mostly the latter very very rarely the former will happen .
As far as time versus money goes you are better off investing an hour of your earning potential with a working girl and getting on with life and earning more money to do it again.. It's a guarantee after all!
For some reason on here people seem to just maybe like the constant rejection from each other and the little power trips using the block button can give a slightly past her prime divorcee who suddenly thinks she's a princess! ..the guys seem to look at the pictures a lot so it's another ego boost of sorts.. We are all hooked on a feeling and chasing a dream you can rarely get these days.. Almost an impossibility with Covid
So don't worry about replies.. You weren't meant to get them anyway. So don't beat yourself up or worry about it. That can sap your confidence completely.
Though.. Like I said sometimes there is just one who might change that for you.. Maybe..
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I try to reply to everyone, just had someone ask me to meet me and I sent a polite reply saying no thanks .... the response was they blocked me this is a very common occurrence it makes no odds to me because I didn’t want to meet said person anyway, moral of the story is some don’t take rejection well and it’s not worth giving them time of day to reply to them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t message lady’s I actually read the profiles unfortunately nobody is after a fifty six year old grandad bod profiles clearly state what the lady is after so I fab pictures which if you don’t mind me saying lady’s are so sexy and move on
Respect the lady choices !
Only a personal opinion
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I try to reply to everyone, just had someone ask me to meet me and I sent a polite reply saying no thanks .... the response was they blocked me this is a very common occurrence it makes no odds to me because I didn’t want to meet said person anyway, moral of the story is some don’t take rejection well and it’s not worth giving them time of day to reply to them "
It's possible they blocked you so they don't make the mistake of messaging you again. |
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