FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > 'Not Interested'
'Not Interested'
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Disclaimer: I know my profile is only a few weeks old, but I've had accounts here for months time before.
So, I'm finding it frustrating and a little confusing here. Many of my messages have either gotten left on read or just plain deleted.
Now, I understand the whole 'deleted/no reply = not interested' thing, but that notion seems a little vague when I've given it one last try by messaging those same at later dates to which I've received a reply.
So I'm wondering would fab consider updating the website to where there were more options to make it clear as to why messages were deleted or ignored.
I've seen the 'not interested buttton' suggestion before (which I agree with, personally).
Sometimes, due to the high volume or messages women receive, they do mass deletes — I get it — but though you can just take a delete as 'not interested' and keep it pushing, curious minds do wonder since there's no telling EXACTLY why.
This isn't a moan or rant – I just think this site could be made a lot simpler. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Even if there was a 'not interested' button on here I wouldn't use it to reply to messages I'm not interested in. I don't see the point.
I personally think they need to get rid of the sent items box.... Too many people obsess over it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Even if there was a 'not interested' button on here I wouldn't use it to reply to messages I'm not interested in. I don't see the point.
I personally think they need to get rid of the sent items box.... Too many people obsess over it. "
 +1
Completely agree. I don't look in my sent items that often, apart from to make a mental note that I sent a message, it was deleted with no reply, move on.
Fab shouldn't have to police how I interact with others. If you can't understand why you haven't had a response, what else would you struggle to understand?
p.s. and I know some women leave messages unread so thet they don't get "I saw you read my message, whats wrong with me?" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Also.... How is adding another feature making the site simpler? "
I just believe it could make it so that it's clear as to why no reply. I'm not in favour of being entitled to a reply, but it can be frustrating to people who do put the effort in. You get me?
And maybe it could reduce the spam from people who are persistent (I know some people don't give up, but that's what the block button is for, which is clear enough).
This is more toward stopping all the game-playing and stringing along, etc. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If Im ignoring or not reading your message then Im ignoring the little not interested or ignore button to press too 
Release yourself from the stress, delete your sent box.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The site is really simple. No reply, no interest.
Ppl run their profiles as they see fit. If they don't delete, they don't delete, and everyone will have a different reason why they don't.
Best option, delete your sent messages. If you get a reply, great, if you don't, you don't know if it's read/deleted or what |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Even if there was a 'not interested' button on here I wouldn't use it to reply to messages I'm not interested in. I don't see the point.
I personally think they need to get rid of the sent items box.... Too many people obsess over it. +1
Completely agree. I don't look in my sent items that often, apart from to make a mental note that I sent a message, it was deleted with no reply, move on.
Fab shouldn't have to police how I interact with others. If you can't understand why you haven't had a response, what else would you struggle to understand?
p.s. and I know some women leave messages unread so thet they don't get "I saw you read my message, whats wrong with me?""
Not so much policing – I wouldn't call it that. But I hear you, though. Fair points.
Maybe the sent section should be gotten rid of, to kill any of the cats' curiosities. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Also.... How is adding another feature making the site simpler?
I just believe it could make it so that it's clear as to why no reply. I'm not in favour of being entitled to a reply, but it can be frustrating to people who do put the effort in. You get me?
And maybe it could reduce the spam from people who are persistent (I know some people don't give up, but that's what the block button is for, which is clear enough).
This is more toward stopping all the game-playing and stringing along, etc."
It's already clear. If they want to chat with you the would reply. If you don't want to get strung along but someone then block them. All if the tools are already available.
Also.... I ask this on every thread of this type.... How will and inbox full of 'not interested' affect your mental health and self worth?
Seriously, spend some time out of your sent items and enjoy the site |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I got through phases of just completely ignoring my inbox so messages sit on unread for a long time. Sending another message because the first one has been ignored is never successful unless it's from a friend. I wouldn't use a not interested button, I just stay out my inbox. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Personally I don't actually want to know .
I don't need to hear/read of my flaws, I'm very aware of them.
The fact that they're not interested is reason enough.
And most likely there would be little I can do about it bar trying to convince them that they got it all wrong and that I am exactly what they're looking for , they're just not aware of it yet  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The site is really simple. No reply, no interest.
Ppl run their profiles as they see fit. If they don't delete, they don't delete, and everyone will have a different reason why they don't.
Best option, delete your sent messages. If you get a reply, great, if you don't, you don't know if it's read/deleted or what"
Yeah, at this point, I think I'm just gonna do that to keep my mindset positive as opposed to wondering what I've gotta do to change. Ignorance and bliss. Any reply I do get is a success and anything else is whatever – I'd never know. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Will Fab change something to improve if based on member feedback? Extremely unlikely. Man, the list of tiny tiny little changes I'd love to be allowed to make. I'll code it all... just let me add any profile notes to the "you have blocked this profile" page, let me add a simple optional questionnaire for single guys to fill in to prove they read the profile. Let me remove the words "NEW!" from all the places they've been for a decade... :D |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Also.... How is adding another feature making the site simpler?
I just believe it could make it so that it's clear as to why no reply. I'm not in favour of being entitled to a reply, but it can be frustrating to people who do put the effort in. You get me?
And maybe it could reduce the spam from people who are persistent (I know some people don't give up, but that's what the block button is for, which is clear enough).
This is more toward stopping all the game-playing and stringing along, etc.
It's already clear. If they want to chat with you the would reply. If you don't want to get strung along but someone then block them. All if the tools are already available.
Also.... I ask this on every thread of this type.... How will and inbox full of 'not interested' affect your mental health and self worth?
Seriously, spend some time out of your sent items and enjoy the site "
Hmmm, I mean... you could presume, but is it really clear, though? I guess it's just easier to take it as that than wonder – I'll take that much.
I'll take what you've said on board anyway.
To the mental health question: nothing – I like the clarity and brutal honesty. Would help me just move along and either continue or just call it a day, I suppose.
Thank you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The site is really simple. No reply, no interest.
Ppl run their profiles as they see fit. If they don't delete, they don't delete, and everyone will have a different reason why they don't.
Best option, delete your sent messages. If you get a reply, great, if you don't, you don't know if it's read/deleted or what
Yeah, at this point, I think I'm just gonna do that to keep my mindset positive as opposed to wondering what I've gotta do to change. Ignorance and bliss. Any reply I do get is a success and anything else is whatever – I'd never know."
And that is how to use fab.
Changing your tactics to improve your chances moves you further away from who you really are.
My success over the years has been modest, but the friendships and playtimes have meant so much more because the ladies in question found me appealing (well once they actually met me and got to know the Fever behind the profile).
Fire and forget is the best way. If you catch someone's eye, you'll know! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ewrocksWoman
over a year ago
button moon |
Replying means even if we then change filters, that person can still message.  Most I think look at the profile before the message, you've not asked for profile advice, but I will suggest forum searching that ridiculous 'warning'
For me thats a filter in itself |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Personally I don't actually want to know .
I don't need to hear/read of my flaws, I'm very aware of them.
The fact that they're not interested is reason enough.
And most likely there would be little I can do about it bar trying to convince them that they got it all wrong and that I am exactly what they're looking for , they're just not aware of it yet "
That's fair enough – I'm in agreement to most degree there. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Will Fab change something to improve if based on member feedback? Extremely unlikely. Man, the list of tiny tiny little changes I'd love to be allowed to make. I'll code it all... just let me add any profile notes to the "you have blocked this profile" page, let me add a simple optional questionnaire for single guys to fill in to prove they read the profile. Let me remove the words "NEW!" from all the places they've been for a decade... :D"
It's a shame because so many things could be changed to improve the site's ecosystem making it a more gratifying, pleasant experience for users. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The site is really simple. No reply, no interest.
But as he said, that's absolutely NOT true universally. Often good messages are lost amongst the shite..."
And how does a 'not interested' option reveal the good messages amongst the shite? There would still be shite messages but now we have to press a button to tell them we're not interested and unless that blocks them from messaging again then they'll still come back and ask why not. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The site is really simple. No reply, no interest.
But as he said, that's absolutely NOT true universally. Often good messages are lost amongst the shite..."
Precisely! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
While we are at it there could be a ‘Sorry, you’re slightly annoying!’ button, or may a ‘Whoa, easy on the cock photos dude!’ Or ‘You have potential, but your really need to clean your bedroom!’ button. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just take an unread , left on read or just deleted as not interested.. simple "
Yeah . I agree with you on this. Far too many messages in my inbox to reply to .. Lol  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I used another site where they had a polite “no thanks button”.
Folk just ignored it. Sent another message saying “I know you’re not interested but blah blah blah”."
Yeah, no surprise there, but that's where the block button comes in handy. The 'no interested' is letting the other know, and if they still wish to continue, then it's more fool on them as they clearly have been informed. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Replying means even if we then change filters, that person can still message. Most I think look at the profile before the message, you've not asked for profile advice, but I will suggest forum searching that ridiculous 'warning'
For me thats a filter in itself "
Taken on board  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The site is really simple. No reply, no interest.
But as he said, that's absolutely NOT true universally. Often good messages are lost amongst the shite...
And how does a 'not interested' option reveal the good messages amongst the shite? There would still be shite messages but now we have to press a button to tell them we're not interested and unless that blocks them from messaging again then they'll still come back and ask why not. "
Oh it doesn't. I see no reason for OPs feature, and adds a burden on to those with the mail boxes full of bilge. But there's just no universal way of using the site. I mean, I've had arguments here about what "fabulous" means as a body type category. Some people swear blind it means super sexy porn star model bodies... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"While we are at it there could be a ‘Sorry, you’re slightly annoying!’ button, or may a ‘Whoa, easy on the cock photos dude!’ Or ‘You have potential, but your really need to clean your bedroom!’ button. "
Haha. I'm not mad at those ones, at all. Bring 'em in. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Replying means even if we then change filters, that person can still message. Most I think look at the profile before the message, you've not asked for profile advice, but I will suggest forum searching that ridiculous 'warning'
For me thats a filter in itself "
Oh absolutely. Try asking them about why they think this place is a publically traded company when it isn't and they don't even know what your'e talking about! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
I can understand where you are coming from but I have many times politely replied stating I'm not interested. The next week I get the same copy & paste message as the first and then again have to reply the same. I don't like blocking for the forums games etc but if they don't even remember who they get replies saying 'not interested' from how are they going to remember a notification from a tick box?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I can understand where you are coming from but I have many times politely replied stating I'm not interested. The next week I get the same copy & paste message as the first and then again have to reply the same. I don't like blocking for the forums games etc but if they don't even remember who they get replies saying 'not interested' from how are they going to remember a notification from a tick box? "
Yeah, I hear you, comprende.
I just think something could be done for sure. Not necessarily what I'm suggesting, but there's definitely room for improvement that could make this site better (in a way that would also filter out the spammers). Not sure what it is, but there's gotta be something. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ewrocksWoman
over a year ago
button moon |
"I can understand where you are coming from but I have many times politely replied stating I'm not interested. The next week I get the same copy & paste message as the first and then again have to reply the same. I don't like blocking for the forums games etc but if they don't even remember who they get replies saying 'not interested' from how are they going to remember a notification from a tick box? "
I gave up on this a long time ago. Now if I'm not interested, its rare I do anything other than just block. Makes it alot less irritating. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Sending messages is all a bit transactional really unless you already know someone. And many women get so many messages that they can't read them all, let alone press a button on each of them.
My advice is to interact positively on the forums and, when allowed, attend some socials. You'll soon find people to gel with and make friends. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
There are as many reasons why people aren't interested/don't reply as there are people.
Some won't mind if you try again, some will. Bit like anything else in human interaction.
Adjust your expectations. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
"I can understand where you are coming from but I have many times politely replied stating I'm not interested. The next week I get the same copy & paste message as the first and then again have to reply the same. I don't like blocking for the forums games etc but if they don't even remember who they get replies saying 'not interested' from how are they going to remember a notification from a tick box?
Yeah, I hear you, comprende.
I just think something could be done for sure. Not necessarily what I'm suggesting, but there's definitely room for improvement that could make this site better (in a way that would also filter out the spammers). Not sure what it is, but there's gotta be something."
I know what you mean but when the site has been going so long there is probably been lots of discussion of how to change it. It's not the easiest site to get used to using but after a while I definitely understand the reasons for things more.
I'll admit - the only time I look in my sent folder is for when I have accidentally deleted a message thread and not clicked the undo quick enough |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Sending messages is all a bit transactional really unless you already know someone. And many women get so many messages that they can't read them all, let alone press a button on each of them.
My advice is to interact positively on the forums and, when allowed, attend some socials. You'll soon find people to gel with and make friends. "
Yeah, it figures – I gather that much.
Might try that out. I'm ready for clubs to open back up.
Thanks for the suggestion. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"There are as many reasons why people aren't interested/don't reply as there are people.
Some won't mind if you try again, some will. Bit like anything else in human interaction.
Adjust your expectations."
Yeah, that's about right. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think it's miserable when you send a decent message and get no reply. After a while it will be soul destroying.
Many women and couples have no empathy for anyone else but themselves and can't possibly understand - or care - how another person can feel. Evidence in this thread....
Chin up OP and welcome to the forums. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I might be not interested 'right now'.. But might be interested 'later' - so many reasons.... more time /more relaxed /feel like chatting "
Exactly all these loopholes and grey areas unfilled like many kitties during the p(l)andemic. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think it's miserable when you send a decent message and get no reply. After a while it will be soul destroying.
Many women and couples have no empathy for anyone else but themselves and can't possibly understand - or care - how another person can feel. Evidence in this thread....
Chin up OP and welcome to the forums. "
Yeah, it's akin to endless job applications. And yes, apparently that seems to be he case. Not letting it get under my skin or prevent sleep, though. Cheers, man |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think it's miserable when you send a decent message and get no reply. After a while it will be soul destroying.
Many women and couples have no empathy for anyone else but themselves and can't possibly understand - or care - how another person can feel. Evidence in this thread....
Chin up OP and welcome to the forums. "
I cared. I asked about his mental health seeing lots of not interested messages in his inbox.
I also do send messages that get no reply. I also note the site tools that tell me that when I messaged them last I got no (this may just be a site supporters thing). Same on dating sites. If I forget I've already messaged someone they usually show the last interaction between us. If they haven't replied to it I don't message again. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It can see the value of OP's suggestion. Most of the time I miss messages, then eventually bulk delete. It's not that I'm not interested in that person, I just didn't see the message. But equally, if men would message fewer women (particularly those who've indicated in their profile they won't be interested anyway) we'd all have better inboxes and guys might get more replies! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Are you suggesting that use of this button should be enforced, and if so, how? What would be the consequence of somebody deleting a message without using it? If there is no consequence, then why would people use it given you are talking about people who just bin messages anyway?
In order to tell you exactly why somebody is not interested, how many options do you think there should be? For example, should there be "Your message was total shit", "Your profile is awful", "You're ugly", "We have too many messages to be able to reply"? I'd be interested to see a list of options you want. I reckon the more complex you make it, the less it will be used.
Ultimately though, if you don't float somebody's boat, what more do you need to know than you don't float their boat? I don't really know why anything more than that is necessary. And you know you don't float somebody's boat because they deleted your message. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It can see the value of OP's suggestion. Most of the time I miss messages, then eventually bulk delete. It's not that I'm not interested in that person, I just didn't see the message. But equally, if men would message fewer women (particularly those who've indicated in their profile they won't be interested anyway) we'd all have better inboxes and guys might get more replies! "
But how would you being able to put extra effort into getting rid of messages leave you with fewer messages...?
I quite like a voluntary questionnaire you could enable based on your profile...
"If you want to send me your message
1) How many dogs do I have?
2) When did we last go to Gran Canaria?
3) What is the average velocity of an unladen swallow?"
Now THAT would remove 90% of shit messages, right? :D |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ultimately though, if you don't float somebody's boat, what more do you need to know than you don't float their boat? I don't really know why anything more than that is necessary. And you know you don't float somebody's boat because they deleted your message. "
But you DON'T know that... "Sorry, had to delete unread 1000 unread messages"... right? Nothing means anything unilaterally. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Disclaimer: I know my profile is only a few weeks old, but I've had accounts here for months time before.
So, I'm finding it frustrating and a little confusing here. Many of my messages have either gotten left on read or just plain deleted.
Now, I understand the whole 'deleted/no reply = not interested' thing, but that notion seems a little vague when I've given it one last try by messaging those same at later dates to which I've received a reply.
So I'm wondering would fab consider updating the website to where there were more options to make it clear as to why messages were deleted or ignored.
I've seen the 'not interested buttton' suggestion before (which I agree with, personally).
Sometimes, due to the high volume or messages women receive, they do mass deletes — I get it — but though you can just take a delete as 'not interested' and keep it pushing, curious minds do wonder since there's no telling EXACTLY why.
This isn't a moan or rant – I just think this site could be made a lot simpler."
OP, as one half of a couple, one of us may have read the message and not the other and have left it there it for the other one to read and/or respond to.
As others have said, many people use different methods of using their account.
If I feel that someone has put effort in their message I will polity reply saying no thanks, sometimes you get a thanks reply, other times you get a why reply. If I have just had a handful of why replies, then the next one is most probably going to be ignored/deleted. A lot will depend on my mood and what time I have.
You need to find what works for you and enjoy rather than stress xx
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think it's miserable when you send a decent message and get no reply. After a while it will be soul destroying.
Many women and couples have no empathy for anyone else but themselves and can't possibly understand - or care - how another person can feel. Evidence in this thread....
Chin up OP and welcome to the forums.
I cared. I asked about his mental health seeing lots of not interested messages in his inbox."
Much appreciated |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It can see the value of OP's suggestion. Most of the time I miss messages, then eventually bulk delete. It's not that I'm not interested in that person, I just didn't see the message. But equally, if men would message fewer women (particularly those who've indicated in their profile they won't be interested anyway) we'd all have better inboxes and guys might get more replies! "
There you go glad you catch my drift. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It can see the value of OP's suggestion. Most of the time I miss messages, then eventually bulk delete. It's not that I'm not interested in that person, I just didn't see the message. But equally, if men would message fewer women (particularly those who've indicated in their profile they won't be interested anyway) we'd all have better inboxes and guys might get more replies!
But how would you being able to put extra effort into getting rid of messages leave you with fewer messages...?
I quite like a voluntary questionnaire you could enable based on your profile...
"If you want to send me your message
1) How many dogs do I have?
2) When did we last go to Gran Canaria?
3) What is the average velocity of an unladen swallow?"
Now THAT would remove 90% of shit messages, right? :D"
Yeah, those profiles do make things easier. Would be good if there was maybe a prompt box where you could reply directly to a question asked by whoever it is you're about to message. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"OP, as one half of a couple, one of us may have read the message and not the other and have left it there it for the other one to read and/or respond to.
As others have said, many people use different methods of using their account.
If I feel that someone has put effort in their message I will polity reply saying no thanks, sometimes you get a thanks reply, other times you get a why reply. If I have just had a handful of why replies, then the next one is most probably going to be ignored/deleted. A lot will depend on my mood and what time I have.
You need to find what works for you and enjoy rather than stress xx
"
I didn't think of that, actually  thank you for bringing it to my attention – that's one piece of clarity |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"An awful lot of energy seems to be spent wondering about the messages that don't get a reply. Maybe best to just forget about them and focus on the replies you do get? "
Yeah, this is the approach I've started taking as of today. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It can see the value of OP's suggestion. Most of the time I miss messages, then eventually bulk delete. It's not that I'm not interested in that person, I just didn't see the message. But equally, if men would message fewer women (particularly those who've indicated in their profile they won't be interested anyway) we'd all have better inboxes and guys might get more replies!
But how would you being able to put extra effort into getting rid of messages leave you with fewer messages...?
I quite like a voluntary questionnaire you could enable based on your profile...
"If you want to send me your message
1) How many dogs do I have?
2) When did we last go to Gran Canaria?
3) What is the average velocity of an unladen swallow?"
Now THAT would remove 90% of shit messages, right? :D
Yeah, those profiles do make things easier. Would be good if there was maybe a prompt box where you could reply directly to a question asked by whoever it is you're about to message."
Well my daft idea would be a holding screen you have to answer to get past. A nice idea to muse, but will obviously never happen. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think it's miserable when you send a decent message and get no reply. After a while it will be soul destroying.
Many women and couples have no empathy for anyone else but themselves and can't possibly understand - or care - how another person can feel. Evidence in this thread....
Chin up OP and welcome to the forums.
I cared. I asked about his mental health seeing lots of not interested messages in his inbox.
I also do send messages that get no reply. I also note the site tools that tell me that when I messaged them last I got no (this may just be a site supporters thing). Same on dating sites. If I forget I've already messaged someone they usually show the last interaction between us. If they haven't replied to it I don't message again. "
I said many. Not all. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why care what’s the reason no reply is the answer full stop if you had 500 messages which the gals get would you reply to everyone of them I wouldn’t "
Except I'm on about the messages that are opened, not just every message received – I understand there's simply not enough time in a day to tend to every message when you have other duties. But if you have the time to open, you must if not surely have the time to respond [to ones you want to], depending on the nature or volume of the message (some take more thought). I know that probably sounded like answering my own question in a way – I'm just speaking in context to the specific cases where it's not black & white. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think it's miserable when you send a decent message and get no reply. After a while it will be soul destroying.
Many women and couples have no empathy for anyone else but themselves and can't possibly understand - or care - how another person can feel. Evidence in this thread....
Chin up OP and welcome to the forums. "
That's a lovely reply. And absolutely spot on. So many people seem to approach Fab selfishly, it is the profiles that show a bit of humility, thoughtfulness, good humour, capacity for wanting to share a fun time rather than making a meet all about themselves etc that really stand out. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *sm265Woman
over a year ago
Shangri-la |
"Why care what’s the reason no reply is the answer full stop if you had 500 messages which the gals get would you reply to everyone of them I wouldn’t
Except I'm on about the messages that are opened, not just every message received – I understand there's simply not enough time in a day to tend to every message when you have other duties. But if you have the time to open, you must if not surely have the time to respond [to ones you want to], depending on the nature or volume of the message (some take more thought). I know that probably sounded like answering my own question in a way – I'm just speaking in context to the specific cases where it's not black & white."
I do reply to the ones that I want to. I even occasionally send a 'no thanks' to some of the ones that I'm not interested in that have at least put effort in to the message. The ones that are clearly a cut and paste message, ones that have very obviously not read my profile, or ones that show no effort whatsoever, I don't waste my time on those at all. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think it's miserable when you send a decent message and get no reply. After a while it will be soul destroying.
Many women and couples have no empathy for anyone else but themselves and can't possibly understand - or care - how another person can feel. Evidence in this thread....
Chin up OP and welcome to the forums.
That's a lovely reply. And absolutely spot on. So many people seem to approach Fab selfishly, it is the profiles that show a bit of humility, thoughtfulness, good humour, capacity for wanting to share a fun time rather than making a meet all about themselves etc that really stand out. "
Most definitely! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why care what’s the reason no reply is the answer full stop if you had 500 messages which the gals get would you reply to everyone of them I wouldn’t
Except I'm on about the messages that are opened, not just every message received – I understand there's simply not enough time in a day to tend to every message when you have other duties. But if you have the time to open, you must if not surely have the time to respond [to ones you want to], depending on the nature or volume of the message (some take more thought). I know that probably sounded like answering my own question in a way – I'm just speaking in context to the specific cases where it's not black & white.
I do reply to the ones that I want to. I even occasionally send a 'no thanks' to some of the ones that I'm not interested in that have at least put effort in to the message. The ones that are clearly a cut and paste message, ones that have very obviously not read my profile, or ones that show no effort whatsoever, I don't waste my time on those at all. "
That's a good ethos/system to go with. Fair doings. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Just take an unread , left on read or just deleted as not interested.. simple
Yeah . I agree with you on this. Far too many messages in my inbox to reply to .. Lol "
You’re welcome in my box any time  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
