Why is it that I can spend half the day in the forums and post a fair amount, but I struggle to make myself deal with my inbox? It’s not even a big task, I only have five unread messages and four of them are ongoing conversations, the other is one I’ll probably reply to. But it’s so hard to make myself do it.
Is it because on the forums, no-one is asking how I am, so I don’t have to choose between “fine thanks” and the truth? Or because the forums seem like a less personal interaction?
Does anyone else have this problem? Or is it just my special brand of brain gremlins? |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
Completely with you.
When I'm having a tough time I find it so easy to mess about on the forum, and so hard to have a one on one conversation.
I just hope the people I am talking to understand and are ok with it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How are you though?
Please hold while I over-analyse and try to work out whether it’s a serious question that needs a serious answer (my brain is an arsehole)."
I have all day |
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"People aren't making requests or demands on you in the forum. They more often are in the inbox."
That’s the thing, those just get straight up deleted and most of the time I don’t think about them after that point. My messages are just conversations, nothing bad, so it seems weird to me that I have this block when it comes to replying. |
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"Why is it that I can spend half the day in the forums and post a fair amount, but I struggle to make myself deal with my inbox? It’s not even a big task, I only have five unread messages and four of them are ongoing conversations, the other is one I’ll probably reply to. But it’s so hard to make myself do it.
Is it because on the forums, no-one is asking how I am, so I don’t have to choose between “fine thanks” and the truth? Or because the forums seem like a less personal interaction?
Does anyone else have this problem? Or is it just my special brand of brain gremlins?"
I have 441 unread ... so yup yup and yup from me |
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"Completely with you.
When I'm having a tough time I find it so easy to mess about on the forum, and so hard to have a one on one conversation.
I just hope the people I am talking to understand and are ok with it."
It does seem to be something like that, it didn’t used to be a problem, but things are kind of rough right now and it seems to have made it hard to interact in a normal way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think this lady only problem men don’t seem to get many messages except for friends made on hear suppose a lady’s inbox full of dick pics and remarks this is only a assumption as being a bloke haven’t got scooby about  |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Completely with you.
When I'm having a tough time I find it so easy to mess about on the forum, and so hard to have a one on one conversation.
I just hope the people I am talking to understand and are ok with it.
It does seem to be something like that, it didn’t used to be a problem, but things are kind of rough right now and it seems to have made it hard to interact in a normal way."
I don't think we are even close to being alone in this.
Even if no one is making actual demands in your inbox, it can feel like pressure.
Just take time if you need it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm the same. I can't deal with my inbox as I don't like the pressure of having to respond so I usually ignore it. It's easy on the forums to just go at your own pace and flow but once it turns private I find it difficult to keep it going. I have to be in the right mindset. |
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I need emotional energy to respond to inbox messages. In the forums I can post and feel no pressure to come back to it. Other people are available to keep the conversation going. With inbox messages it's just me. Sometimes I wait to respond until I can concentrate enough to put together a good response. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a message I accidentally sent to myself that I can’t do anything about, it’s just sat there unread, I think I’ve mentioned this before on previous threads, but I feel I must mention it again. |
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"How are you though?
Please hold while I over-analyse and try to work out whether it’s a serious question that needs a serious answer (my brain is an arsehole).
I have all day "
Well, I had to take a diazepam a couple of hours ago to try and contain the panic over my employment tribunal hearing in a couple of weeks, so there’s that. I wish I could say that’s the only thing going on but it’s not. So yeah, I guess the problem is if if I answer truthfully then I look like a walking disaster area! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm the same. Love the chat in the forums but got 389 unread messages, and that's after I've deleted the complete crap!
I enjoy the conversation and banter in here. And messages generally lead to - when can we meet? And I'm not meeting right now, so it almost feels pointless even starting the conversation tbh xx |
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"Why is it that I can spend half the day in the forums and post a fair amount, but I struggle to make myself deal with my inbox? It’s not even a big task, I only have five unread messages and four of them are ongoing conversations, the other is one I’ll probably reply to. But it’s so hard to make myself do it.
Is it because on the forums, no-one is asking how I am, so I don’t have to choose between “fine thanks” and the truth? Or because the forums seem like a less personal interaction?
Does anyone else have this problem? Or is it just my special brand of brain gremlins?
I have 441 unread ... so yup yup and yup from me "
Ooh ouch, I don’t miss those days at all. |
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"I have a message I accidentally sent to myself that I can’t do anything about, it’s just sat there unread, I think I’ve mentioned this before on previous threads, but I feel I must mention it again. "
Perhaps read it and reply  |
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"Think this lady only problem men don’t seem to get many messages except for friends made on hear suppose a lady’s inbox full of dick pics and remarks this is only a assumption as being a bloke haven’t got scooby about "
Yes, there’s often a lot of that, but I delete those without a second thought. This is messages I do actually want to reply to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a message I accidentally sent to myself that I can’t do anything about, it’s just sat there unread, I think I’ve mentioned this before on previous threads, but I feel I must mention it again. "
If I had a pound for every time I've seen you complain about this!! I'd definitely have a tenner. |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
For me replying to forum posts tends to either be flippant type commentary or things that interest me.
Inbox messages require an element of thought to actual engage with and maintain a conversation. |
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"Completely with you.
When I'm having a tough time I find it so easy to mess about on the forum, and so hard to have a one on one conversation.
I just hope the people I am talking to understand and are ok with it.
It does seem to be something like that, it didn’t used to be a problem, but things are kind of rough right now and it seems to have made it hard to interact in a normal way.
I don't think we are even close to being alone in this.
Even if no one is making actual demands in your inbox, it can feel like pressure.
Just take time if you need it."
It does actually make me feel better to know it’s not just me being a flake, and that other people have similar feelings. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yep I get this 100%. Sometimes I'm just not in the mood for a conversation so im guilty of leaving my messages until I've got the energy. Forums are all you need sometimes  |
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"I'm the same. I can't deal with my inbox as I don't like the pressure of having to respond so I usually ignore it. It's easy on the forums to just go at your own pace and flow but once it turns private I find it difficult to keep it going. I have to be in the right mindset. "
That’s exactly it, needing to be in the right frame of mind. And that frame of mind is hard to find lately. |
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"I need emotional energy to respond to inbox messages. In the forums I can post and feel no pressure to come back to it. Other people are available to keep the conversation going. With inbox messages it's just me. Sometimes I wait to respond until I can concentrate enough to put together a good response. "
That’s a good way of putting it, it makes a lot of sense. |
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"Why is it that I can spend half the day in the forums and post a fair amount, but I struggle to make myself deal with my inbox? It’s not even a big task, I only have five unread messages and four of them are ongoing conversations, the other is one I’ll probably reply to. But it’s so hard to make myself do it.
Is it because on the forums, no-one is asking how I am, so I don’t have to choose between “fine thanks” and the truth? Or because the forums seem like a less personal interaction?
Does anyone else have this problem? Or is it just my special brand of brain gremlins?
I have 441 unread ... so yup yup and yup from me "
I'm currently sitting at zero with my pandemic filters 
It's glorious |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm the same. I can't deal with my inbox as I don't like the pressure of having to respond so I usually ignore it. It's easy on the forums to just go at your own pace and flow but once it turns private I find it difficult to keep it going. I have to be in the right mindset.
That’s exactly it, needing to be in the right frame of mind. And that frame of mind is hard to find lately."
I'm sorry to hear that. I don't know the full details of your situation but I hope you'll be alright. Honestly, don't even worry about not getting to your inbox, you owe nobody anything and it's more important to put yourself first.  |
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"I'm the same. I can't deal with my inbox as I don't like the pressure of having to respond so I usually ignore it. It's easy on the forums to just go at your own pace and flow but once it turns private I find it difficult to keep it going. I have to be in the right mindset.
That’s exactly it, needing to be in the right frame of mind. And that frame of mind is hard to find lately.
I'm sorry to hear that. I don't know the full details of your situation but I hope you'll be alright. Honestly, don't even worry about not getting to your inbox, you owe nobody anything and it's more important to put yourself first. "
Hell yes |
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"I'm the same. I can't deal with my inbox as I don't like the pressure of having to respond so I usually ignore it. It's easy on the forums to just go at your own pace and flow but once it turns private I find it difficult to keep it going. I have to be in the right mindset.
That’s exactly it, needing to be in the right frame of mind. And that frame of mind is hard to find lately.
I'm sorry to hear that. I don't know the full details of your situation but I hope you'll be alright. Honestly, don't even worry about not getting to your inbox, you owe nobody anything and it's more important to put yourself first. "
Thank you, I’m trying to look after myself and let go of the guilt over not replying quickly, and for the rest of it I’m hoping the extremely expensive barrister will turn out to be a good investment! |
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