FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > "High standards"
"High standards"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I read this a lot on profiles... People saying they have high standards and won't settle for less. I find it uncomfortable honestly. It sort of implies that there are standards of people, with some higher than others, based on whatever measures are being used.
Preferences/type/attraction, yes, of course - we all have them. But standards? It just doesn't sit right with me. No one is of a higher standard than anyone else.
Am I just overthinking this? Curious to know how you all interpret it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I read this a lot on profiles... People saying they have high standards and won't settle for less. I find it uncomfortable honestly. It sort of implies that there are standards of people, with some higher than others, based on whatever measures are being used.
Preferences/type/attraction, yes, of course - we all have them. But standards? It just doesn't sit right with me. No one is of a higher standard than anyone else.
Am I just overthinking this? Curious to know how you all interpret it."
I think it boils down to a few factors
Money is the ultimate 1  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Interesting...
Could be seen as snobbish
Maybe they expect their idea of perfection?
I probably wouldn't interact because my wobbly bits probably wouldn't meet the 'standards'  |
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By *renzMan
over a year ago
Between Chichester and Havant |
I think it's similar to the 'Professional' thread.
High standards and professional. Both similar way of saying they only want to meet those that 'meet their own high standards of professionalism'. Just something in their own minds.
Doesn't mean anything, only to them and certainly wouldn't feel they were better than me. Just they think they are. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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These are conceited people, usually of low IQ. I don't engage in conversation with such people, because with the best of intentions I can't go down so low. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i think its probably different for everyone , for some it probably is as you say just a way of thinking they are better than folk
but for other it might just be that they are hanging out for a really compatible match - like say a standard could be well i think they are hot and they tick 50% of my boxes in terms of wants and needs from a meet and pre meet chat etc etc, its just a casual fuck so that will do the job
but some couple might be like nope its not a numbers game for me if it means i get less meets thats ok but i am holding out my standards for someone that i am 90% match with
maybe i am giving people the benefit of the doubt here too much |
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By *rder66Man
over a year ago
Tatooine |
It's subjective realy, there is not table of standards to go by.
My high standards would include genuine, honesty, not into themselve and people who don't use the term 'high standards' on their profile.
People put it as they want a rich, farrari driver who lives in a 10 bedroom mansion and has a butler. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
It might be how you’re thinking, people using language to attempt to prove that they’re better than others. It’s not new either, comments like ‘professional’, ‘exceptional’, ‘classy’, etc, do carry the implication that the person writing them has better taste than others.
It might simply be that people are imprecise with their language.
Either way, it’s their lives, their profiles and they can write what they like. If they don’t meet anyone, then it’s their journey and their disappointment.
I wouldn’t meet anyone who writes things like that either way |
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I just think they use it to deter the people who genuinely think that swingers will have sex with anyone who asks.
To be honest I find it more confusing when people write that size, age and looks are unimportant. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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another way i might read it is level of effort put in - so a well put together profile with a range of pics would be a high standard but a “fill this in later” with 25 cock shots i would consider the bar is set pretty low |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"I just think they use it to deter the people who genuinely think that swingers will have sex with anyone who asks.
To be honest I find it more confusing when people write that size, age and looks are unimportant."
Oh that's an easy one, trying to appeal to as many as possible.  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I think of high standards as being along similar lines to fussy, exceptional etc - all used to signify they won't just sleep with anyone because they are either better than everyone else or maybe they genuinely believe they have high standards and want others to know they won't settle for less.
It's a useful compatibility indicator to a certain degree. |
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"I just think they use it to deter the people who genuinely think that swingers will have sex with anyone who asks.
To be honest I find it more confusing when people write that size, age and looks are unimportant.
Oh that's an easy one, trying to appeal to as many as possible. "
How about profile that states “looking for anything” or “anybody fancy some fun”
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"I just think they use it to deter the people who genuinely think that swingers will have sex with anyone who asks.
To be honest I find it more confusing when people write that size, age and looks are unimportant.
Oh that's an easy one, trying to appeal to as many as possible. "
 .
The thing is I like to at least have the illusion that I'm a tiny bit special to the people we meet. I would never use the phrase "high standards" but I won't compromise on what I'm looking for either which is more or less the same isn't it, nobody has low standards do they? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I understand how the phrase could irk but is there much difference between standards and preferences in practice? If we only want to meet people with a certain body type or personality type then these set a 'standard' that many won't reach. A fit, hot, athletic man has a standard of physical appearance 'higher' than mine, this doesn't make him a better person than me, its just reality. |
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By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
We don’t all find the same people attractive and I wouldn’t want to fuck someone I didn’t fancy. But I agree that using the phrase ‘lowering standards’ isn’t a very nice way of saying it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The amount of people turning their nose up over wording mind haha.
Literally wouldn’t even cross my mind that they think they are better than me, or any of the other suggestions being made.
People on here request one regular FWB others want orgys... clearly both of these scenarios are wanting very different things.
To me saying you have standards just suggests they have certain criteria they want from their partner, and I’ve seen many variations of this on here, just look at the many forum chats about what puts people off about a profile... the comments on there are all standards which they deem as worthy of snubbing, from choice of wording. To graphic content.
Not everything requires people to be holier than thou and if your don’t like simply mosey along  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I read this a lot on profiles... People saying they have high standards and won't settle for less. I find it uncomfortable honestly. It sort of implies that there are standards of people, with some higher than others, based on whatever measures are being used.
Preferences/type/attraction, yes, of course - we all have them. But standards? It just doesn't sit right with me. No one is of a higher standard than anyone else.
Am I just overthinking this? Curious to know how you all interpret it."
I agree because I would take that as if I was someone that wouldn’t be in your high standards I would feel pretty shitty as it implies I’m not a good standard |
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I think it depends on the context that it's used in...if someone on here has high standards of hygiene then I'd see that as a good thing.
It's also very subjective...one person's high standard will be another person's low standard.
Much like when people use the term professional, I just see it as they are looking to meet people with a similar aesthetic and lifestyle to themselves (by lifestyle I mean career level, social class, affluence, possessions etc). |
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By *amish SMan
over a year ago
Eastleigh |
It is a wide ranging statement measured in many ways.
Unless they can claim to what their 'high standards' relate to, then as statement it is garbage.
Some claim high standards but can't even speel! |
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"I read this a lot on profiles... People saying they have high standards and won't settle for less. I find it uncomfortable honestly. It sort of implies that there are standards of people, with some higher than others, based on whatever measures are being used.
Preferences/type/attraction, yes, of course - we all have them. But standards? It just doesn't sit right with me. No one is of a higher standard than anyone else.
Am I just overthinking this? Curious to know how you all interpret it.
I agree because I would take that as if I was someone that wouldn’t be in your high standards I would feel pretty shitty as it implies I’m not a good standard "
It implies that to *them* you don't reach their standard but I don't think it's healthy to judge yourself by the criteria of profiles on a swinging site.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's subjective realy, there is not table of standards to go by.
My high standards would include genuine, honesty, not into themselve and people who don't use the term 'high standards' on their profile.
People put it as they want a rich, farrari driver who lives in a 10 bedroom mansion and has a butler."
Can we not have both? |
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"So who has low standards?
I would say nor high nor low right down the middle is perfect "
Would you. Personally I think I'm worth what in my opinion is the best. That doesn't mean I only go for gym fit, toned, young men it means I want to meet men *I* find attractive and who appeal to me, I don't want to compromise. Mr N feels the same way about the women we meet.
It doesn't mean anything bad about the people we don't want to meet, surely nobody wants to be somebody's compromise fuck. We also happily accept that we don't meet many other people's standard of preferences. |
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I have standards I expect to be met - all it means is that I look for someone with the same hygiene levels, someone who can conduct themselves in public without swearing every other word, who is capable of using a knife and fork! Some one who takes pride....
There is nothing wrong with expectation |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I want what i want cant change that if i did i de value myself i give the best so expect the best
And what is your "the best"?"
everything i have all my skill my beauty and legendary ability to make giggles into orgasms its a kind of magic |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I read this a lot on profiles... People saying they have high standards and won't settle for less. I find it uncomfortable honestly. It sort of implies that there are standards of people, with some higher than others, based on whatever measures are being used.
Preferences/type/attraction, yes, of course - we all have them. But standards? It just doesn't sit right with me. No one is of a higher standard than anyone else.
Am I just overthinking this? Curious to know how you all interpret it.
I agree because I would take that as if I was someone that wouldn’t be in your high standards I would feel pretty shitty as it implies I’m not a good standard
It implies that to *them* you don't reach their standard but I don't think it's healthy to judge yourself by the criteria of profiles on a swinging site.
"
I don’t judge myself, that’s not what the statement says though it says high standards. Which would imply you’re a low standard |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I want what i want cant change that if i did i de value myself i give the best so expect the best
And what is your "the best"?everything i have all my skill my beauty and legendary ability to make giggles into orgasms its a kind of magic "
Lucky you! You have at least 4 meetings per day, that's for sure! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I want what i want cant change that if i did i de value myself i give the best so expect the best
And what is your "the best"?everything i have all my skill my beauty and legendary ability to make giggles into orgasms its a kind of magic
Lucky you! You have at least 4 meetings per day, that's for sure!"
i dont want them you can have them its ok |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I want what i want cant change that if i did i de value myself i give the best so expect the best
And what is your "the best"?everything i have all my skill my beauty and legendary ability to make giggles into orgasms its a kind of magic
Lucky you! You have at least 4 meetings per day, that's for sure!i dont want them you can have them its ok "
I can't...my standards are so low so I don't leaving my box room ever...no one wants to meet me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I want what i want cant change that if i did i de value myself i give the best so expect the best
And what is your "the best"?everything i have all my skill my beauty and legendary ability to make giggles into orgasms its a kind of magic
Lucky you! You have at least 4 meetings per day, that's for sure!i dont want them you can have them its ok
I can't...my standards are so low so I don't leaving my box room ever...no one wants to meet me "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t think most people mean it in an arrogant way, more just they have certain standards to how they want someone to be when they meet which is completely reasonable imo.
I do get how it can come across in a negative way, as if you're belitting those who aren't what you want. But as long as you're not a dick about it "don't want a fat woman with more rolls than greggs" etc then I don't think it's a big deal. I mean even your profile has what you're looking for etc, which is pretty much the same thing surely, just wrote in a different way? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I read this a lot on profiles... People saying they have high standards and won't settle for less. I find it uncomfortable honestly. It sort of implies that there are standards of people, with some higher than others, based on whatever measures are being used.
Preferences/type/attraction, yes, of course - we all have them. But standards? It just doesn't sit right with me. No one is of a higher standard than anyone else.
Am I just overthinking this? Curious to know how you all interpret it."
I interpret 'I have standards' as....
You're probably not good enough so I'll warn you now by saying I have standards, because I'm just so amazing and a real catch and you probably don't have what it takes to keep me interested.
My view probably won't be well received but sod it.
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Better to ignore them and wait for that type to contact you, so that you can then inform them of your standards/preferences and whether they meet yours.
It's a lazy way of setting a profile up, as nobody else could possibly know what their 'standards' are, nor how to calibrate themselves against them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have low standards, I would even meet myself so you it tells you abour how low are my standards "
Low standards? Man, I don't have a mirror in my house, scared to meet myself there...
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
Think it is more down to values.
If an oldish lady with a tartan wheeled shopping bag got knocked over by a child on a skateboard.
If your values were caring, considering, you would be thinking the world has gone to rack and ruin.
If your values were each to their own, and conversation goes along, “pass the salt”.
“What did your last servant die of, get your own”. Might be inclined to think, “silly old bat should have not been in the way”.
Same event, different values.
Think it is always good to examine your value needs and I suspect this is where it comes from. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s a dilemma really, whilst it can appear to be a little conceited, you really can’t blame people for only wanting the best to share their most intimate and erotic moments. And if you don’t believe in yourself enough to reply to their adverts, why should they believe in you?
On the other hand, unless they’ve got ridiculously low standards and very little self respect, there’s no way I’m ever going to get a meet.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Coming on a sex site and then pretending to be sophisticated. What’s the criteria to be accepted, anyone who hasn’t graduated from college is not allowed to play or uses incorrect grammar in messages and only the posh parts of the uk are allowed. |
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"It’s a dilemma really, whilst it can appear to be a little conceited, you really can’t blame people for only wanting the best to share their most intimate and erotic moments. And if you don’t believe in yourself enough to reply to their adverts, why should they believe in you?
On the other hand, unless they’ve got ridiculously low standards and very little self respect, there’s no way I’m ever going to get a meet.
"
Yep, that exactly |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you for your views, I can see the different points of views. I guess it's just not a wording I'm comfortable with, but perhaps others mean it differently |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you for your views, I can see the different points of views. I guess it's just not a wording I'm comfortable with, but perhaps others mean it differently"
standards can only be lowered if i inly fingerbladt her with my left hand and i cut out my eyes then its ok
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thank you for your views, I can see the different points of views. I guess it's just not a wording I'm comfortable with, but perhaps others mean it differently
standards can only be lowered if i inly fingerbladt her with my left hand and i cut out my eyes then its ok"
Yikes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you for your views, I can see the different points of views. I guess it's just not a wording I'm comfortable with, but perhaps others mean it differently
standards can only be lowered if i inly fingerbladt her with my left hand and i cut out my eyes then its ok
Yikes "
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Don't see a problem with high standards per se. If you have specific criteria that you want met and don't want to comprise on them, then Its ok with me. I respect that,k and quite honestly feel the same. I see it as respect for yourself rather than a judgement on others!
And let's face it if they are just being condescending and Judgemental, then they've done you a favour 'outing' themselves as shallow pricks, and you've dodged a bullet... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Don't see a problem with high standards per se. If you have specific criteria that you want met and don't want to comprise on them, then Its ok with me. I respect that,k and quite honestly feel the same. I see it as respect for yourself rather than a judgement on others!
And let's face it if they are just being condescending and Judgemental, then they've done you a favour 'outing' themselves as shallow pricks, and you've dodged a bullet..."
I just think the word standard implies one thing is better than another. There are standards of double glazing for instance, but not people. You might prefer gym fit and that's you're criteria, but that doesn't mean those people are better or worse than those who are less toned. It's the word I dislike, not the idea of having requirements. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Don't see a problem with high standards per se. If you have specific criteria that you want met and don't want to comprise on them, then Its ok with me. I respect that,k and quite honestly feel the same. I see it as respect for yourself rather than a judgement on others!
And let's face it if they are just being condescending and Judgemental, then they've done you a favour 'outing' themselves as shallow pricks, and you've dodged a bullet...
I just think the word standard implies one thing is better than another. There are standards of double glazing for instance, but not people. You might prefer gym fit and that's you're criteria, but that doesn't mean those people are better or worse than those who are less toned. It's the word I dislike, not the idea of having requirements."
*Your
I'm so sorry |
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