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Friend, foe or...
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
Another musing on a Friday morning of mine.
Ive been reading and posting on the forums for many years and I often wonder how others view the other posters on here. Not in specifics but in terms of a general whole.
Considering the way that people interact on the forums and given the reasons as to why we’re on here, I think that it’s a very complex dynamic but that it’s interesting as to how people first approach others or view their approach.
So on the whole, how do you view others on here? Friends that you haven’t made yet, prey, people to be distrusted, competition...?
Do you think that your views have changed over time and with experience? |
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A collection of diverse individuals in one virtual room. My goal isn’t to make friends or be liked by everyone. The friendships I’ve made over the years have happened naturally through shared ways of thinking and humour. I see it as entertainment not the be all and end all. Life away from here is busy enough. |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
I wouldn’t say prey or foe. I don’t really dislike any forumites, there are some who are just not on the same wavelength and even those who sometimes make me grit my teeth with the odd comment can come out with some absolute blinders on another thread.
It’s just like being in a room with different people, some you know you’d have great times with, others are more of a quick hello and a chat about the weather.
None I’d cross the road to avoid.
None I’m particularly pally with either, I need to meet people in person for that.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hope I'd get on in real life with people who I've had proper conversations with on Fab. Other than that I wouldn't make any presumptions about the real character of people who are basically strangers - many people have an online persona that's different from their everyday one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Another musing on a Friday morning of mine.
Ive been reading and posting on the forums for many years and I often wonder how others view the other posters on here. Not in specifics but in terms of a general whole.
Considering the way that people interact on the forums and given the reasons as to why we’re on here, I think that it’s a very complex dynamic but that it’s interesting as to how people first approach others or view their approach.
So on the whole, how do you view others on here? Friends that you haven’t made yet, prey, people to be distrusted, competition...?
Do you think that your views have changed over time and with experience? "
As a whole those ive made acquaintances with on the forums are lovely souls theres afew ive not been too keen on from the start but have actually become quite pally as ive got to know them.
I think were all here for different reasons but as a whole majority of us are on the same level.
Why am i here? Have my veiws changed?
Well it started 6 years ago as a casual hookup, finding that empty and unfulfilling, i stayed with my xfwb for the buzz of having sex infront of others.
Now i stick around for the forums a flirt, the people ive met along the way & a escape from day to day life
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Honestly I view it in a similar way to how I view a room full of people at a bar or pub on a night out.
I see every person as a unique character with their own little story and life.
I see people I'm friendly with who I gravitate towards and I see people I run away from because I'm not interested in what they have to say. I see the occasional one I'm happy to get close and personal with and sometimes a random person will catch my attention and strike up a conversation. It's full or lovely people, sad people, happy people and d*unk people.
You never know what you're gonna get when you come to the Fab pub.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I genuinely wanted to make friends at the beginning but have come to realise there are so many people who lie on here that it is better to just not trust anyone.
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Honestly I view it in a similar way to how I view a room full of people at a bar or pub on a night out.
I see every person as a unique character with their own little story and life.
I see people I'm friendly with who I gravitate towards and I see people I run away from because I'm not interested in what they have to say. I see the occasional one I'm happy to get close and personal with and sometimes a random person will catch my attention and strike up a conversation. It's full or lovely people, sad people, happy people and d*unk people.
You never know what you're gonna get when you come to the Fab pub.
"
This.
Although perhaps not run away from because one night they might be d*unkenly rambling on in a d*unk manner about crap but the next night they might be sober and talk about things I find interesting.
I try to remove my biases towards people and listen to their chats in the pub.
And that's that analogy stretched out for as long as possible.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would say people to get to know
I try to stay away from the drama and try not to offend anyone
As for competition there is none on my part it’s a swingers site we’re all here for the same thing
If someone dose not like me in that sens then fair anuff I understand I am not For everyone
Still dosent mean can’t chat away and be frendly |
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It's strange because I've never thought about it in depth, which for me is weird.
There's a few I regard as friends and we share personal things and offer advice on day to day things and check up on each other.
Then there are the rest of the forum. And I'll happily chat with most people. My predominant use of the forum is too navel gaze and learn different perspectives on things. |
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By *rder66Man
over a year ago
Tatooine |
Depends,
Some I just stay clear from based on what they write or complain about or obvously like to play games.
Some I initialy like but as I find out more about them or their ego, avoid like a case of crabs.
Some I would like to meet and perhaps become friends off this site, not just in a sexual context.
Some I feel I would realy like to get to know them very well and even would like to have more then friendship or sex.
I would never think of anybody as 'prey'. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In general there is a wide variety of people on here from all walks of life that you can chat too quite happily or even more when allowed.
Some become friends outside of fab which is amazing.
I can't understand the ones though that still behave like nasty playground bullies as an adult and then claim its just a "harmless bit of fun".
That bit of harmless fun never stops at that point for the person it was targeted towards as it continues long after the comment was made.
Not sure what is gained by it?
But less of that would be amazing!
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
In a way, I learnt over the years that Fabs is not different to any other "interest" group - it will attract decent and less decent, honest and less honest, light-hearted and deep thinking people - pretty much the whole spectrum of society.
One thing that surprised me though: I was somehow expecting a more tolerant group, tolerant of other people's views. Not sure why I was expecting that, perhaps because I thought most people in the life style must be more liberal and less judgmental. I found this not necessarily the case.
Has it been fun over the years? Absolutely.
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"Another musing on a Friday morning of mine.
Ive been reading and posting on the forums for many years and I often wonder how others view the other posters on here. Not in specifics but in terms of a general whole.
Considering the way that people interact on the forums and given the reasons as to why we’re on here, I think that it’s a very complex dynamic but that it’s interesting as to how people first approach others or view their approach.
So on the whole, how do you view others on here? Friends that you haven’t made yet, prey, people to be distrusted, competition...?
Do you think that your views have changed over time and with experience? "
For the most part I view the people on any online platform in the same way I would people in a waiting room.
You might all be there for similar reasons, and while you don’t know them that doesn’t stop you from being civil, making conversation, offering opinions or advice.
Some of them will go, new people start.
Some you may want to carry on the conversation, others not so much.
Unless someone shows you that they are a person that you really don’t want to associate with, its simply a case of live and let live. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I could not meet anyone who I did not have some sort of connection with. I find most of the forumites to be pretty friendly and good humoured. I hardly send any messages to be honest, guess I am just kind of hoping that I will click with someone. |
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Oh fuck a duck.. OK.
Some people here have literally saved my life. I've had some of the darkest times that I wouldn't have made it through if it wasn't for people, in some cases people I've never met in person, reaching out and saving me. At times just by checking in coz I've written something a little off, other times by picking me up off my knees or showing me kindness at times when I had forgotten how to be kind to myself.
I thank each and every one of you who's been part of that 
Cunts. Got a fucking lump in my throat now writing that.
There are others I don't know well enough to call them friends, yet I respect their views etc and would happily hug and share a pint and bag of nuts with.
I don't view myself as in competition, though I'm well aware I've been thought of exactly that in the past.
I ain't gonna bullshit, there are some I'd most certainly not just cross the road to avoid, but not enter the same county to avoid. Things can get real personal and nasty "behind the scenes". It would be so much easier if we could put on some ice hockey kit, fight it out and then have a 5 mins roughing penalty, maybe the odd bench clearance for good measure.
Touch the goalie kidda, ya know what's coming ....
https://youtu.be/B185Pn_Wkh4
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
I don't get too invested in personalities on these forums.
Even if I disagree with someone on a regular basis, or they come across as knobs, I'll still chat if I met them in person.
I might duck down behind a bar if I don't want a serious, political conversation though.
Can't be doing with serious stuff |
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I've used internet forums since the early days of the net. They all follow a very similar pattern and contributors in the main are usually fairly representative of life in general.
I tend to compartmentalise forum people in that I see them as separate from my "real life" interactions. Mostly in my view they consist of a pleasant bunch of people, interesting, sometimes funny, sometimes informative. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes there are people that are petty and attention seeking. Why someone comes here to play silly mind games and act petulant is beyond me. But in general majority are actually quite nice.... |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Oh fuck a duck.. OK.
Some people here have literally saved my life. I've had some of the darkest times that I wouldn't have made it through if it wasn't for people, in some cases people I've never met in person, reaching out and saving me. At times just by checking in coz I've written something a little off, other times by picking me up off my knees or showing me kindness at times when I had forgotten how to be kind to myself.
I thank each and every one of you who's been part of that
Cunts. Got a fucking lump in my throat now writing that.
There are others I don't know well enough to call them friends, yet I respect their views etc and would happily hug and share a pint and bag of nuts with.
I don't view myself as in competition, though I'm well aware I've been thought of exactly that in the past.
I ain't gonna bullshit, there are some I'd most certainly not just cross the road to avoid, but not enter the same county to avoid. Things can get real personal and nasty "behind the scenes". It would be so much easier if we could put on some ice hockey kit, fight it out and then have a 5 mins roughing penalty, maybe the odd bench clearance for good measure.
Touch the goalie kidda, ya know what's coming ....
https://youtu.be/B185Pn_Wkh4
"
I agree. There are some wonderful folks on here who really do give a damn. Some folks will quietly reaffirm your faith in humanity.
Others would merrily tap dance on a persons head, just to hear the noise.
Swings and roundabouts |
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I hunt in fab not on the forums, so it's easy to chat shit with most of you, I have stronger familarities with the people I have actually met for sure, but if we were at a social there isn't anyone I'd avoid saying hello to |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I sometimes join in and feel part of the forum family. I sometimes distance myself and am probably regarded as odd.
In the main I get on with most. I have no reason to think that I would not. Some people might not like me but that is down to them and not me. They have a block button if I have ever done anything to offend them.
I happily run a Secret Service thread because I am totally oblivious to who is chatting with who, who are the "popular" people etc. So it comes into my inbox, gets posted and deleted. No hidden agendas, no collecting of gossip. Nothing.
In terms of how I react to people I see that we are all different, all bring something to the table, all have a tale to tell. You just have to decide which posts you want to participate in, which ones you want to pass by as you know you will  or 
Just like real life really, you have friends, you have acquaintances, you have people you might like to know and people that you can take or leave.
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