FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > So, has fab
So, has fab
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *inkylips OP Woman
over a year ago
Debauchery |
Or some of the people impacted on your life or mental well-being, for the good or bad?
I’ve had a great time and met some fantastic people but there has been one event that’s left me with missed placed guilt I wish I could shake. Just wondered if anyone had this or any wise words |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
yes, 100%.
good, bad, ugly and sad.
no words of wisdom im afraid.
just know you aren't alone.
i think the good must far outweigh the bad, or none of us would still be here. Px  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *inkylips OP Woman
over a year ago
Debauchery |
"yes, 100%.
good, bad, ugly and sad.
no words of wisdom im afraid.
just know you aren't alone.
i think the good must far outweigh the bad, or none of us would still be here. Px "
Thank you, sometimes just someone agreeing is enough x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Both.
I've made some amazing connections here. Friendships that will last a lifetime and my relationship with Jeff, which is just everything . Lifesaving support from strangers and friends alike aswell as laughter and distraction when I've needed it.
I've also received abuse. And been through some pretty awful things at the hands of people I've met on the scene. "Friends" have betrayed me and I've been slagged off and had rumours spread about me.
Fab is the same as any other community. There are good and bad.
I've been here 14 years and have no plans to leave.
Lu  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *inkylips OP Woman
over a year ago
Debauchery |
"Both.
I've made some amazing connections here. Friendships that will last a lifetime and my relationship with Jeff, which is just everything . Lifesaving support from strangers and friends alike aswell as laughter and distraction when I've needed it.
I've also received abuse. And been through some pretty awful things at the hands of people I've met on the scene. "Friends" have betrayed me and I've been slagged off and had rumours spread about me.
Fab is the same as any other community. There are good and bad.
I've been here 14 years and have no plans to leave.
Lu "
It seems you have been through a proper roller coaster. Seems you have won over everything  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Only been here a few months but it's definitely been a positive experience. Once lockdown eases I'll move on but reading and contributing to the Forum has provided diversion and stimulation on a daily basis, and helped keep me sane and balanced at a challenging time.
Anything negative I ignore or block out - Fab is not reality and believing it is will probably end in disappointment. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Both.
I've made some amazing connections here. Friendships that will last a lifetime and my relationship with Jeff, which is just everything . Lifesaving support from strangers and friends alike aswell as laughter and distraction when I've needed it.
I've also received abuse. And been through some pretty awful things at the hands of people I've met on the scene. "Friends" have betrayed me and I've been slagged off and had rumours spread about me.
Fab is the same as any other community. There are good and bad.
I've been here 14 years and have no plans to leave.
Lu
It seems you have been through a proper roller coaster. Seems you have won over everything "
Tbh, meeting Jeff alone made all the shit worth it. He is one of the best things in my life...I'd not have met him without fab. Add to that my pals and it's totally a win!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It’s a mixture for me too.
I’ve made the most amazing and beautiful connections, and some of them have changed me for the better, and I’ve had so much learning and transformation.
I’ve also had some hard experiences, and there have times when I’ve been feeling vulnerable, and fab has made that a lot worse.
There have been times when I’ve cried, and wondered why I’m here, and why people can be so unkind, and times when I’ve snort laughed out loud.
I try and learn from all my experiences, and I’ve come back on this account with a different attitude.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *inkylips OP Woman
over a year ago
Debauchery |
"Both.
I've made some amazing connections here. Friendships that will last a lifetime and my relationship with Jeff, which is just everything . Lifesaving support from strangers and friends alike aswell as laughter and distraction when I've needed it.
I've also received abuse. And been through some pretty awful things at the hands of people I've met on the scene. "Friends" have betrayed me and I've been slagged off and had rumours spread about me.
Fab is the same as any other community. There are good and bad.
I've been here 14 years and have no plans to leave.
Lu
It seems you have been through a proper roller coaster. Seems you have won over everything
Tbh, meeting Jeff alone made all the shit worth it. He is one of the best things in my life...I'd not have met him without fab. Add to that my pals and it's totally a win! "
.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Fab mostly has a negative impact on my mental well-being. I only dip in when I've got the right spoons, and stay away at other times. "
I also only come here when I've got the mental energy for the place and can find it all amusing.
As soon as I feel it drag me down I log off for a while; sometimes a day or two, sometimes a week or two. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I probably didn’t explain that well but I don’t mean just like the usual negative issues on fab but something maybe a person has done that’s impacted you "
I'm sorry to hear this , everyone that's read your post is here to offer support. Just know that you're not alone and we will do our best to provide support.
This is meant to be a happy place but at times some negatives events tend to jump on the ride.
Benji |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hloevtTV/TS
over a year ago
norwich |
Before lock down I used fab to keep in touch with my club friends, but during lock down I have used it as escapism and a pick me up during the long and lonely days over the last year, I would have been lost with out it.
Xxx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"I probably didn’t explain that well but I don’t mean just like the usual negative issues on fab but something maybe a person has done that’s impacted you "
You worded it fine OP, genuinely.
I've had one experience on here that made me take a break from Fab for the best part of a year. I needed that time to heal, to rediscover my self belief and confidence. You have to move on from events and that takes time and self love. And removing any reminders as much as possible.
I've been on here for almost a decade and in that time I've had mostly positive experiences with people. I try and focus on those and enjoy Fab for what it is and remind myself how fantastic people can be - for the most part they are wonderful. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *inkylips OP Woman
over a year ago
Debauchery |
"I probably didn’t explain that well but I don’t mean just like the usual negative issues on fab but something maybe a person has done that’s impacted you
You worded it fine OP, genuinely.
I've had one experience on here that made me take a break from Fab for the best part of a year. I needed that time to heal, to rediscover my self belief and confidence. You have to move on from events and that takes time and self love. And removing any reminders as much as possible.
I've been on here for almost a decade and in that time I've had mostly positive experiences with people. I try and focus on those and enjoy Fab for what it is and remind myself how fantastic people can be - for the most part they are wonderful. "
This person did nothing to me but their actions caused a lot of guilt on my part that I cannot shift and has left me with certain worries I didn’t really think of previously. I mean we all work it out eventually right. Just having an off day. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
So far I've been very fortunate in meets, but mine are few and far between with newbies, I tend to stick to my regular known partners.
If you cannot speak to the person maybe write it down and revisit it in sections to see if you can look at it another way? Good luck |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Precisely as others have said. I’ve met some amazing and beautiful people. Had some great fun and made some brilliant memories.
I’ve also been abused, weirded out and annoyed lots.
But on balance I’m still here. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
When I first joined it impacted my life because it was new and shiny.
I made a few mistakes and learned from them.
Now it's like social media with the occasional shag 
I don't get involved in group socials or clubs - so it is a very small part of my life. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Fab is just a small addition to my life and all been positive so far ... anything negative I just leave, drama isn't welcome here as haven't got the space for it! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Or some of the people impacted on your life or mental well-being, for the good or bad?
I’ve had a great time and met some fantastic people but there has been one event that’s left me with missed placed guilt I wish I could shake. Just wondered if anyone had this or any wise words"
I haven’t had any impacts either way personally, but there are some deep relationships formed on here which gives vulnerability as well as security.
If your guilt was out of your hands (something you did with someone who was secretly married for instance), then you shall have to work on accepting what you did at that time was not your fault, through your actions. If you feel you cannot have done any more, and it genuinely wasn’t your ‘fault’ as such, then, perhaps you could try to cut ties with that person and chapter however possible.
If you did make a mistake, we are all human and that happens too. Try to reflect on it and place it within a group of other mistakes, or life events, or random things you have chosen to do, there will be benefits and disadvantages to those too. And hopefully even that simple process may help you see that you’ve moved on, learned from it, and hopefully it’s helped you avoid making similar mistakes again. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Fab is just a small addition to my life and all been positive so far ... anything negative I just leave, drama isn't welcome here as haven't got the space for it! "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *inkylips OP Woman
over a year ago
Debauchery |
"So far I've been very fortunate in meets, but mine are few and far between with newbies, I tend to stick to my regular known partners.
If you cannot speak to the person maybe write it down and revisit it in sections to see if you can look at it another way? Good luck "
I constantly analyse it, unfortunately the situation is a tragic one. I’m so bloody cryptic I know  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
There have been negatives and positives from fab.
In general terms I’ve learnt body confidence and self belief through my time here, on the flip side, I’ve learnt to be cynical.
In terms of individuals, the positives have to be me meeting my partner here, she has had such a positive impact on my life, it’s incredible.
On the negative side, there are people on here who gossip, stir up trouble and lie for their own ends. Vicious people who deceive others and manipulate to serve their jealousy. Sadly I’ve had several run ins with people like this and unfortunately, they still linger around. It’s left me with trust issues and a very cynical attitude |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Fab has given me some high moments with laughter and happiness and then low moments where I just want to fuck off from here and kick myself in the face and never come back as I feel vulnerable. 
You're still here which is a great sign, so just try to focus on the positives and all the virtual hugs. You're not alone and I'm sure so many people relate.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A mixture.
Most meets have been good, some bad some scary.
Don't think it's good for my mental well-being as guilt always makes me leave fab but my addiction brings me back |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Toxic as fuck.
Luckily there are some beautiful humans here too, they're the sole reason I stay.
But yes, my mental health has been impacted by the actions of others. I have to take some responsibility though.... I gave the last piece of heart trust I had within me to the wrong person and now I'm paying the price.
Do I think I'm self harming still being here? Very probably. I'm beyond saving tho, so if I can use my pain to save someone else then it may aswell get put to some use. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Toxic as fuck.
Luckily there are some beautiful humans here too, they're the sole reason I stay.
But yes, my mental health has been impacted by the actions of others. I have to take some responsibility though.... I gave the last piece of heart trust I had within me to the wrong person and now I'm paying the price.
Do I think I'm self harming still being here? Very probably. I'm beyond saving tho, so if I can use my pain to save someone else then it may aswell get put to some use."
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’ve made what I’d call a couple of good friends here, one of whom I’m in touch with away from here too and she’s a gem. But yes, like everyone else, this site can get me down - and don’t even ask about the lack of sex/meets lol xxx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Good for the most part I tend to try and stay away from the negative side off it all
Definitely a boost in confidence in feeling sexy so that’s always a plus |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My last stint was good for the most but the amount of timewasters just spoils the experience and with limited free time it can really drain you mentally and question why you bother or whats wrong with yourself to warrant been messed around. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *inkylips OP Woman
over a year ago
Debauchery |
"Toxic as fuck.
Luckily there are some beautiful humans here too, they're the sole reason I stay.
But yes, my mental health has been impacted by the actions of others. I have to take some responsibility though.... I gave the last piece of heart trust I had within me to the wrong person and now I'm paying the price.
Do I think I'm self harming still being here? Very probably. I'm beyond saving tho, so if I can use my pain to save someone else then it may aswell get put to some use."
This place is a minefield. I learnt a long time ago not to give my heart to anyone thankfully. This is a situation way out of my control but I can’t stop thinking that I could of done something. Guilt is a heavy burden to bare.
Sometimes the only ones that can save us is ourselves |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’ve made lifelong friends from here, support gained here in the last years been invaluable...just like any society has its ups and downs, the key for me is in knowing when to walk away. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Fab is just a small addition to my life and all been positive so far ... anything negative I just leave, drama isn't welcome here as haven't got the space for it! "
Absolutely spot on
Negativity and drama are so much easier to be ignored or pushed aside than people think!!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
