FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Something in a profile that annoys us
Something in a profile that annoys us
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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When we view a profile of someone or a couple who have caught our eye we read the profile fully to see if we are compatible and have the same interests and wants.
However for us having fully read their profile if they then state in the last sentence “please put the word we have stated here” in the message title so we know you have read our profile that totally puts us off.
We feel that approach is verging on arrogant to be honest.
Is it just us who feels that way? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It depends on how they use it.. some people will use this as a good way to filter though messages quickly. Other's have a sense of entitlement to make people jump through hoops. The rest of the profile will usually answer that question for you  |
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Guess they are fed up of people not reading their profile and messaging them so use it as a filter. If it's not for you, it's your filter as they are not compatible with you. So I guess it's a win win |
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"When we view a profile of someone or a couple who have caught our eye we read the profile fully to see if we are compatible and have the same interests and wants.
However for us having fully read their profile if they then state in the last sentence “please put the word we have stated here” in the message title so we know you have read our profile that totally puts us off.
We feel that approach is verging on arrogant to be honest.
Is it just us who feels that way?"
If you get too many messages then it’s a way to whittle down who’s respected you enough to read the bio. |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
If its something they want you to do, then why would it be an issue? They may have got fed up of people not reading their profile, and while scanning for a key word doesn't mean you jabe read the profile, it at least means your reading comprehension is working.
To be honest in my opinion it makes the subject line of a message easy instead of having to think up something cute or just use “hey”. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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By asking for the word to be added suggests an arrogance on the basis it suggests they have an exaggerated sense of their own importance and implies their profile requires you to acknowledge that when replying. |
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I've never messaged anyone with that in their profile but that particular request didn't influence my decision. There is usually something else that puts me off.
I can understand it to some degree though as even though I get very few messages at least half of those clearly haven't read my profile.
Asking to meet or for my phone number in their opening message shows they have no interest in anything I've written in my bio.
I've had to clarify this now in my opening paragraph so there is no excuse. |
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We don't do thia but can understand totally why some people choose to. An awful lot of members here claim they've read profiles when they haven't and this is an easy way to filter them out. It's certainly not arrogant. |
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"By asking for the word to be added suggests an arrogance on the basis it suggests they have an exaggerated sense of their own importance and implies their profile requires you to acknowledge that when replying."
no it doesn’t at al
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"By asking for the word to be added suggests an arrogance on the basis it suggests they have an exaggerated sense of their own importance and implies their profile requires you to acknowledge that when replying."
I still don’t see how it is arrogant, that they want people to show they’ve read the profile? |
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"By asking for the word to be added suggests an arrogance on the basis it suggests they have an exaggerated sense of their own importance and implies their profile requires you to acknowledge that when replying."
How exactly? They are just asking for acknowledgement that you've read their profile. |
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"By asking for the word to be added suggests an arrogance on the basis it suggests they have an exaggerated sense of their own importance and implies their profile requires you to acknowledge that when replying."
some see the word professional in a profile as An exaggerated sense of their own importance
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"By asking for the word to be added suggests an arrogance on the basis it suggests they have an exaggerated sense of their own importance and implies their profile requires you to acknowledge that when replying."
I find everyone with text on their profile incredibly arrogant. It's a sex site, no need to know them as a person. Just shag them and walk away. |
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"By asking for the word to be added suggests an arrogance on the basis it suggests they have an exaggerated sense of their own importance and implies their profile requires you to acknowledge that when replying."
That's one hell of a jump  your trampoline must be massive 
All it says to me is that they want to know who has read their profile.
I would say those who message without following such a request are more arrogant (not saying you have done that before you start bouncing again  ).
I've had a status up since the rule of 6 changed saying I'm not meeting until lockdown is over yet loads of people can't be arsed to read that, let alone a profile.
It's just their way of filtering people out. Not arrogance at all. |
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"When we view a profile of someone or a couple who have caught our eye we read the profile fully to see if we are compatible and have the same interests and wants.
However for us having fully read their profile if they then state in the last sentence “please put the word we have stated here” in the message title so we know you have read our profile that totally puts us off.
We feel that approach is verging on arrogant to be honest.
Is it just us who feels that way?"
It isn't remotely arrogant. It's fact that so many people on here don't bother to read profiles before messaging, in which we'd say was ignorant.
We don't have a password word as let's face it, if so many can't be arsed to read it anyway.
Totally understand why people have it though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"By asking for the word to be added suggests an arrogance on the basis it suggests they have an exaggerated sense of their own importance and implies their profile requires you to acknowledge that when replying."
I've never looked at it as being arrogant, or that person(s) having self importance???
We all take the time to write profiles, yet very few actually read them, so having a certain word, whether it be Crusty Minge or shoveabannanaupmybum is clarification they have read it all.
Therefore showing some respect, and potentially a match? |
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It's not arrogant at all. Its assertive clear grown up communication which enables them to sort the wheat from the chaff.
Op you need to question why that triggers you.
Everyone IS important. And have the right to ask for whatever the hell they want. |
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I mostly dislike the “moany” type profiles , the ones that complain about everything , everyone and anything on Fab,
Oh and the “exceptional” something or other looking for the “exceptional” something or other.
Oh and the ... only joking that’s about it
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"Guess they are fed up of people not reading their profile and messaging them so use it as a filter. If it's not for you, it's your filter as they are not compatible with you. So I guess it's a win win "
Exactly this for us, we seen other profiles use it and thought it would be a good way to filter messages but it certainly doesn’t work perfectly nor is it intended to come across as arrogant.
xx |
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"When we view a profile of someone or a couple who have caught our eye we read the profile fully to see if we are compatible and have the same interests and wants.
However for us having fully read their profile if they then state in the last sentence “please put the word we have stated here” in the message title so we know you have read our profile that totally puts us off.
We feel that approach is verging on arrogant to be honest.
Is it just us who feels that way?"
It doesn't bother us as such, but we don't generally put the word in either... generally it appears that writing a decent message illicits a response.
Cal |
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I have seen profiles where that end bit does come across as arrogance. It usually not just a demand for a specific word but other hoops to jump through first. Otherwise it comes across as please just let us know you have actually understood what you have read. Although the ones I really don’t understand are the ones who put it in capitals so it’s the only word you have to actually read. We have it on our couples profile because for too many years we haven’t had the time to meet together and despite our profile clearly stating that people just ignore it. Surely if you don’t want to show you’ve read a profile you just move on to the next?
The thing that stops me messaging some people is the demand for a face picture first, especially if they are near by. I like to gage the likelihood of being recognised before I splash my picture around. Doesn’t mean I disagree with people asking, just means I’m not for them |
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"No it not arrogant, I have it on my profile, if someone don’t like it , then move on
and this here is a good example of arrogance"
how dare you say I am arrogant, everyone that’s know me will say different |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm very far from arrogant, to me it filters through the same copy and paste message they have sent every woman in a 10mile radius.
If you've read the profile to that point and want to message them why not use that word? Bit of an ice breaker and shows you have acknowledged what they do and don't want and that it's also mutual?
I can't even get my head around how it comes across as arrogant in any way... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We had it on our profile before.
At first we didnt.
We put effort into telling people who we were, what we were looking for and what we were not looking for. It seemed no one ever read the profile. They looked at our pics and sent compliments on my wife's tits or ass. Or they asked the questions we had answered in the profile.
To be completely clear, it didnt seem to make any difference. We just made it a point of reading the ones who had popped our word in.
The best decision we made was dropping our photos altogether. No one one messages lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't see it as arrogance or annoying.
People have the right to ask people to do something, its up to you if you do it or not.
I would like to know how it is arrogant or entitled to expect people to read a profile before sending a message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm a professional...
A professional what?
It just comes across as snobbery or something... Your profession doesn't determine how good you are in bed
We can be a professional in many ways... |
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Used as a filter to see who has read their profile I don't see it as an issue.
I have written in the first few lines of my profile that I won't reply if all they say is morning, afternoon etc or ask how I am.
I still get loads of those messages so simply delete.
We all have ways of filtering. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
1. Boring one liner profiles like "fill in later". How am I meant to know whether I am attracted to you?
2. Plethora of (usually less than attractive) cock pictures - I want to talk to a person, not a dick.
3. All CAPITALS... speak/ write in understandable English - how else am I to know whether I might be attracted to you?
4. Anything that excludes a group of people. Ok you have a choice but putting that into your profile sometimes sounds racist - not for me.
Quite easy ... really? xx |
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A long list of demands of what a person should be to get a response from them. I'm all for empowering people to be as picky as they like on here but after the nineteenth bullet pointed requirement, I get a little bored
LvM |
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It depends on your perception of arrogance. On your profile you mention your man has good manners, stating it is a rare quality these days. Is that arrogant to suggest many people on here don't and you hold a superior view of yourself ?
Not criticism, just a view using an example. It is a good profile |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I suppose with this being such an annoying thing. One would be tempted to swiftly read the last few lines of the profile to see if indeed such a stratagem had been incorporated. Thereby not bothering to read the entire profile.
Unless for some perverse reason one felt that it was ones rightful duty to address the seriousness of such an undertaking and resume from the top. But still with the irksome feeling that the end result would be further annoyance.
Annoyance leading to at least the rolling of the eyes, utterances of profanity perhaps,maybe violence against an inanimate object. What seems reasonable?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I quite like the 'find the hidden word' game. Although, honestly, it matters not a jot to single guys because you'll most likely be ignored anyway!  "
I’d caveat that to either ‘some’ or ‘most’ single guys - not every single guy is out to spam. I’ve certainly always respected it and I’m single so there’s at least one.. |
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"By asking for the word to be added suggests an arrogance on the basis it suggests they have an exaggerated sense of their own importance and implies their profile requires you to acknowledge that when replying."
I disagree completely. I think it's acknowledgement that many people don't bother reading profiles before messaging, which is disrespectful. They want a quick way of filtering out people who are so uninterested in the person they want to shag that they can't be bothered to read about them. |
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By *hoco DMan
over a year ago
Clapham |
"No it not arrogant, I have it on my profile, if someone don’t like it , then move on
and this here is a good example of arrogance how dare you say I am arrogant, everyone that’s know me will say different "
they most likely will say different, dose not change the fact that what you wrote came across to me as arrogant, just one more thing I see you done the (im gonna block you because, you've said something i dont like and it's touched a nerve thing) do also do the malicious admin reporting?
as I'm just trying to get some insight into this type of mentality, the blocking of some one that never has and never would message you, would love to hear your feed back on the topic as I find this so interesting
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By *hoco DMan
over a year ago
Clapham |
"By asking for the word to be added suggests an arrogance on the basis it suggests they have an exaggerated sense of their own importance and implies their profile requires you to acknowledge that when replying.
That's one hell of a jump your trampoline must be massive
All it says to me is that they want to know who has read their profile.
I would say those who message without following such a request are more arrogant (not saying you have done that before you start bouncing again ).
I've had a status up since the rule of 6 changed saying I'm not meeting until lockdown is over yet loads of people can't be arsed to read that, let alone a profile.
It's just their way of filtering people out. Not arrogance at all. "
it may be away of filtering, but unless you read and reply to all the messages you get it's arrogance as people hear expect everyone to read their profile but won't read everyones messages, the double standard is arrogance |
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