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Is it possible.....
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To be TOO nice?
Do men (or women/couples) need an edge, a hint of rawness, a glint of ruthless "grab it and hold on" to hold ladies and couples interests?
Can being nice be seen as" too nice" and be risked being passed by without a second thought?
Views? Opinions? Experiences?
Discuss..... |
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Yes. It happens all the time George. If it's happening to you just remember this ....
The kind of shits that don't include everyone and don't notice when someone is overlooked are NOT the kind of shits you want to socialise with anyway.
If you just mean for sex.... NO.. cocks / and faces are never rejected for being toooooo nice........ |
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I don't think a person can be too nice . Everyone should be as nice as possible.
But being a naturally kind person can leave you open to being taken advantage of.
It's happened to me and I'm sure others too  |
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"What people need is authenticity (IMHO) and "too nice" lends me to think that someone isn't exactly always telling the truth.
Yeah but we can sniff out false nice..... real nice is nice."
Makes me sick up a little in my throat |
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Look up the whole nice guy things.
It’s about being genuine. If your being nice because you think it’ll get you something people can tell. We’ve evolved for millions of years to pick up on how congruent people are with their actions |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
What is “too nice”? I’m nice, nice doesn’t mean perfect in every way like our Mary Poppins 
It’s nice to be nice and if that gets you overlooked in anyway then I’m ok with that. It says more about them than me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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yep.
people aren't stupid, being fake nice will always be caught out.
just be yourself, whether you're nicey nicey or a little bit spicy.. you can't please everyone.
Px |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m not sure, but one of my best mates from back in the day, often had women fawning after him, he’s a good looking bloke, a woman said to me once that he was too friendly and nice and it put her off, once she got to know him as she wasn’t expecting it, I don’t know if she thought he was going to be more of an asshole because of his looks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's nothing wrong with being a nice person but I do tend to be skeptical of people who are over complimentary or are all sunshines and rainbows. I like people to be real whether it be a good day or bad |
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"There's nothing wrong with being a nice person but I do tend to be skeptical of people who are over complimentary or are all sunshines and rainbows. I like people to be real whether it be a good day or bad "
Yes this 100% . We all have bad days, just be honest about it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Women are into bad boys aren’t they? Unless they want to actually date them, then you need to be the perfect gentleman... 
Guys like sluts...in the sheets but ladies I think he streets.
*all just rumors I hear.
You can be too nice to some people who just take this piss out of you. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"There's nothing wrong with being a nice person but I do tend to be skeptical of people who are over complimentary or are all sunshines and rainbows. I like people to be real whether it be a good day or bad "
Yes. We all have bad days, say bitchy things about other people, have more to us than being a 2D nice. Nobody gets on with everybody, on here or in the real world. I think being nice is a good thing - of course it is. I don't know one person who isn't human with flaws though. |
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I very much keep things real, no hidden agendas here. I just think it's nice to be nice, I've very recently had the "pleasure" of reading the things that some (not all.. Dont kill me guys) single men (and even more bizarrely albeit rarely) couples deem appropriate to send women to try to engage in hopes of meeting and I'm at a loss to how people consider these things as being nice and expecting people to believe they are genuinely nice people. That said, is it better to have an "edge" a "bad boy" image that keeps people wanting to engage in conversation time and time again. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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Oh as far as the OP goes, I don't think people need an edge to attract attention/admirers. I do think they need to be genuine though. I wouldn't be put off someone because they are nice but as Peach says, authenticity is far more likely to attract me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What people need is authenticity (IMHO) and "too nice" lends me to think that someone isn't exactly always telling the truth."
I was described recently as 'bitchy, but thoughtful'
I am like really unsure how to take that, so I'm taking the positives out of it  |
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"What people need is authenticity (IMHO) and "too nice" lends me to think that someone isn't exactly always telling the truth.
I was described recently as 'bitchy, but thoughtful'
I am like really unsure how to take that, so I'm taking the positives out of it "
Get you! How to take it? Easy one to answer. You know in figure skating when the crowd erupts and teddies and flowers get thrown onto the ice. Just like that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not sure, but one of my best mates from back in the day, often had women fawning after him, he’s a good looking bloke, a woman said to me once that he was too friendly and nice and it put her off, once she got to know him as she wasn’t expecting it, I don’t know if she thought he was going to be more of an asshole because of his looks. "
Maybe she found him creepy. Sometimes if people are overly nice it's weird. |
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"Oh as far as the OP goes, I don't think people need an edge to attract attention/admirers. I do think they need to be genuine though. I wouldn't be put off someone because they are nice but as Peach says, authenticity is far more likely to attract me. "
Agreed. What is an edge when you think about it? A fine fucking line it's easy to fall off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What people need is authenticity (IMHO) and "too nice" lends me to think that someone isn't exactly always telling the truth.
I was described recently as 'bitchy, but thoughtful'
I am like really unsure how to take that, so I'm taking the positives out of it
Get you! How to take it? Easy one to answer. You know in figure skating when the crowd erupts and teddies and flowers get thrown onto the ice. Just like that."
With grace, a false smile and a slight slip then? |
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"What people need is authenticity (IMHO) and "too nice" lends me to think that someone isn't exactly always telling the truth.
I was described recently as 'bitchy, but thoughtful'
I am like really unsure how to take that, so I'm taking the positives out of it
Get you! How to take it? Easy one to answer. You know in figure skating when the crowd erupts and teddies and flowers get thrown onto the ice. Just like that.
With grace, a false smile and a slight slip then? "
I was thinking more of a tutu but ya know  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There's nothing wrong with being a nice person but I do tend to be skeptical of people who are over complimentary or are all sunshines and rainbows. I like people to be real whether it be a good day or bad "
Depends on the situation. I know sunshine people. I also know they are hiding being in really awful relationships. I think the sunshine is just their way of coping. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not sure, but one of my best mates from back in the day, often had women fawning after him, he’s a good looking bloke, a woman said to me once that he was too friendly and nice and it put her off, once she got to know him as she wasn’t expecting it, I don’t know if she thought he was going to be more of an asshole because of his looks.
Maybe she found him creepy. Sometimes if people are overly nice it's weird. "
Nah, he’s not the slightest bit creepy, just a genuine nice bloke. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not sure, but one of my best mates from back in the day, often had women fawning after him, he’s a good looking bloke, a woman said to me once that he was too friendly and nice and it put her off, once she got to know him as she wasn’t expecting it, I don’t know if she thought he was going to be more of an asshole because of his looks.
Maybe she found him creepy. Sometimes if people are overly nice it's weird.
Nah, he’s not the slightest bit creepy, just a genuine nice bloke. "
He might be creepy to women. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not sure, but one of my best mates from back in the day, often had women fawning after him, he’s a good looking bloke, a woman said to me once that he was too friendly and nice and it put her off, once she got to know him as she wasn’t expecting it, I don’t know if she thought he was going to be more of an asshole because of his looks.
Maybe she found him creepy. Sometimes if people are overly nice it's weird.
Nah, he’s not the slightest bit creepy, just a genuine nice bloke.
He might be creepy to women. "
Jeez, whatever |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be TOO nice?
Do men (or women/couples) need an edge, a hint of rawness, a glint of ruthless "grab it and hold on" to hold ladies and couples interests?
Can being nice be seen as" too nice" and be risked being passed by without a second thought?
Views? Opinions? Experiences?
Discuss..... "
It’s not possible to be too nice, as long as you’re aware with it I suppose. If people are being extra nice to please others or feel they are too nice and others are taking advantage, then that’s not good, clearly.
In an attraction context yeah, of course some people may think a person is boring if they are too nice (an unfair link I’d personally say), but that’s probably a good informer of overall compatibility anyway.
I see it as an attractive and / or positive trait if someone is nice, kind etc, but when it feels natural as already mentioned. And the opposite when someone is selfish, unkind etc on a general basis. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its easy to come across as a nice person when it's on a keyboard, its only as you get to know someone that their true nature comes out"
Exactly this.
Over time the mask slips and the true colour comes out. People can rarely maintain a persona for any length of time.
I'm twat. Always have been always will be, what you see is exactly what you get whether I'm online or real life. I cannot be anything other than me |
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"Its easy to come across as a nice person when it's on a keyboard, its only as you get to know someone that their true nature comes out
Exactly this.
Over time the mask slips and the true colour comes out. People can rarely maintain a persona for any length of time.
I'm twat. Always have been always will be, what you see is exactly what you get whether I'm online or real life. I cannot be anything other than me "
But you have lovely pics and gorgeous blue lingerie. So that's a bonus. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be TOO nice?
Do men (or women/couples) need an edge, a hint of rawness, a glint of ruthless "grab it and hold on" to hold ladies and couples interests?
Can being nice be seen as" too nice" and be risked being passed by without a second thought?
Views? Opinions? Experiences?
Discuss..... "
I think men who show their 'not nice' side can be attractive, not because they're 'bad boys' but because women think they're not trying to hide anything whereas men who are 'too nice' can be treated with suspicion as others have suggested.
The big flaw in this attraction is that these 'not nice' men are often hiding very unpleasant traits as well, while 'too nice' may simply be good guys like the friend CityJeans refers to.
Best in my experience to take people at face value until proven otherwise. |
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By *rder66Man
over a year ago
Tatooine |
"What people need is authenticity (IMHO) and "too nice" lends me to think that someone isn't exactly always telling the truth."
This, being nice and being athentic are two different things. Just because someone is nice to your face, doesn't mean that they are a nice person.
It's all about being athentic to yourself as well and if you are authentic to yourself you should be seking to always improve yourself.
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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago
Sandwich |
"To be TOO nice?
Do men (or women/couples) need an edge, a hint of rawness, a glint of ruthless "grab it and hold on" to hold ladies and couples interests?
Can being nice be seen as" too nice" and be risked being passed by without a second thought?
Views? Opinions? Experiences?
Discuss..... "
Too nice can also mean boring if they offer no true opinions etc. From experience I am suspicious of people that come across as super nice because they are generally hiding unpleasant aspects of their personality.
However truly nice is always great. I try to be nice, but sometimes my inner bitch does surface. I still TRY to be nice though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be TOO nice?
Do men (or women/couples) need an edge, a hint of rawness, a glint of ruthless "grab it and hold on" to hold ladies and couples interests?
Can being nice be seen as" too nice" and be risked being passed by without a second thought?
Views? Opinions? Experiences?
Discuss.....
I think men who show their 'not nice' side can be attractive, not because they're 'bad boys' but **because women think they're not trying to hide anything whereas men who are 'too nice' can be treated with suspicion as others have suggested.**
The big flaw in this attraction is that these 'not nice' men are often hiding very unpleasant traits as well, while 'too nice' may simply be good guys like the friend CityJeans refers to.
Best in my experience to take people at face value until proven otherwise."
They might be good guys. Or they might be nice to men but creepy to women.
** very insightful! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its easy to come across as a nice person when it's on a keyboard, its only as you get to know someone that their true nature comes out
Exactly this.
Over time the mask slips and the true colour comes out. People can rarely maintain a persona for any length of time.
I'm twat. Always have been always will be, what you see is exactly what you get whether I'm online or real life. I cannot be anything other than me
But you have lovely pics and gorgeous blue lingerie. So that's a bonus. "
Thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What exactly is nice?
For me, I like people who are authentic and who are themselves, who are real and true to themselves.
You can be nice/kind whatever and not be a pushover, you can be sweet and caring, and still put boundaries in place.
You can be nice and not be boring or false (obviously the opposite applies to all this too). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Past two relationships I've had have ended with the "you're a nice guy but..." excuse, and both women went on to utter bastards - one was/is a smackhead and the other got his kicks beating women. So yeah guess being "nice" isn't what all women want. |
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You can never be too nice ie pleasant and attractive. You can be too sychophantic, creepy and false which a lot of people think nice is.
People will often be passed over if they're fairly mild mannered or shy especially in group situations unless there's a "nice" person who notices someone is alone and includes them.
Nice on its own won't get you by in the world though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What exactly is nice?
For me, I like people who are authentic and who are themselves, who are real and true to themselves.
———
You can be nice and not be boring or false (obviously the opposite applies to all this too). "
m
False and fake. That’s not cool, and I don’t go for that. |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
I think you can't be too nice, as long as it is authentic. And people are often cynical and don't trust nice people are being authentic. Which is really sad.
I do think that it can hurt you being too nice though, as people often take advantage, mistaking niceness for weakness. |
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I think you can be too soft and let people walk over you. That's definitely a thing. However, most of the time when I hear people claim they're too nice its because they do nice things for people in order to later use it as leverage to get what they want from those people and I don't really think that's very nice. |
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What is nice? Being kind and considerate? Being polite? Keeping out of arguments? I don't know.
I think it's a problem if people - particularly men - consider themselves to be "too nice" to get any interest and therefore try to present themselves as something they're not. That never sits well with me. Be who you are! Easier said than done, though, if you're not comfortable with yourself.
It's a fine line, though, particularly with the written word on here. Does keeping away from confrontation mean you are "too nice"? Does trying to be even-handed and see other people's point of view mean you are "too nice"? If so, then I'm probably too nice.
Mrs kf x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think you can't be too nice, as long as it is authentic. And people are often cynical and don't trust nice people are being authentic. Which is really sad.
I do think that it can hurt you being too nice though, as people often take advantage, mistaking niceness for weakness."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What people need is authenticity (IMHO) and "too nice" lends me to think that someone isn't exactly always telling the truth.
Yeah but we can sniff out false nice..... real nice is nice.
Makes me sick up a little in my throat "
hope you swallowed |
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There's no such thing as too (genuinely) nice however there are some drawbacks . "Too nice" people can be used and abused and walked over, both on here and vanilla life .
They're not less desirable in my eyes, I don't need to be "mind played" to fancy the pants off someone |
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Yes. One of my friends is too nice. When I ask which outfit is the nicest she says I like them all so to not offend me for example. It gets pretty annoying. I'd much rather the friend who says ones a mess. Give me brutal honesty anyday
R |
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