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"Yes. The end. ![]() Close thread ![]() | |||
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"Is this what men say when it most definitely applies to them ? " No. It's a misandric trope. It's 2021, and people are STILL stereotyping a majority based on the actions of a small minority. What next? Not all blacks? Not all Muslims? Not all women? Not all gays? Not all trans? Think about how offensive that is for all those groups. Why is it less offensive to say all men and make fun of it. Utterly, utterly disgusting sexist behaviour. | |||
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"No, its the opposite." Is it, this is so confusing | |||
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"It’s true that #notallmen harm women,’ Jameela Jamil posted to Instagram. ‘But do all men work to make sure their fellow men do not harm women? Do they interrupt troubling language and behavior in others? Do they have conversations about women’s safety/consent with their sons? Are #allmen interested in our safety? ‘You don’t get to exclude yourself from the wrong side unless you’re actively fighting on the right side.’ I tried to explain it, but my worms are loose in my head, and this does it better." ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Sometimes but it's mostly an attempt to shut down the conversation because they believe that their discomfort at being part of a demographic where some are harming another is a bigger deal than the issue of the people being harmed. " exactly this | |||
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"Is this what men say when it most definitely applies to them ? No. It's a misandric trope. It's 2021, and people are STILL stereotyping a majority based on the actions of a small minority. What next? Not all blacks? Not all Muslims? Not all women? Not all gays? Not all trans? Think about how offensive that is for all those groups. Why is it less offensive to say all men and make fun of it. Utterly, utterly disgusting sexist behaviour. " ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Is this what men say when it most definitely applies to them ? No. It's a misandric trope. It's 2021, and people are STILL stereotyping a majority based on the actions of a small minority. What next? Not all blacks? Not all Muslims? Not all women? Not all gays? Not all trans? Think about how offensive that is for all those groups. Why is it less offensive to say all men and make fun of it. Utterly, utterly disgusting sexist behaviour. " Very true | |||
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"im pretty sure ive just seen the can of worms going BOOOOOOOM ![]() ![]() I'll bring the popcorn ![]() | |||
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"Is this what men say when it most definitely applies to them ? " Some men do | |||
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"When people say women can be bitchy in the workplace for example. I damn well know it's not all women all of the time. But do I recognize that I have had instances in my life that I have been - hell yes, do I regret it now yes. I also recognise that I see it in my workplace and I can do better to try and stop it. Which is why you never see me say #notallwomen. " Exactly! And if people are talking about issues of white people being racist or white supremacy, etc then the fact that I personally as one white person am not a racist is not even slightly relevant to the conversation or at all helpful. If your response is "well I'm not part of the problem" rather than "how can I help" then you're a bit of a dick. If you don't want to help then at least just keep quiet and let people get on with trying to do something about it rather than shouting over them with useless contributions. | |||
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"Men get a tough time and they shouldn't be responsible for the minority. Yes there's shitty men but guess what there's shitty women too. There's shitty people in this world and no amount of campaigning will ever change that. You can educate people about what society expects of them but ultimately they are going to do what they wanna do ![]() THIS! | |||
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"When people say women can be bitchy in the workplace for example. I damn well know it's not all women all of the time. But do I recognize that I have had instances in my life that I have been - hell yes, do I regret it now yes. I also recognise that I see it in my workplace and I can do better to try and stop it. Which is why you never see me say #notallwomen. Exactly! And if people are talking about issues of white people being racist or white supremacy, etc then the fact that I personally as one white person am not a racist is not even slightly relevant to the conversation or at all helpful. If your response is "well I'm not part of the problem" rather than "how can I help" then you're a bit of a dick. If you don't want to help then at least just keep quiet and let people get on with trying to do something about it rather than shouting over them with useless contributions. " Totally agree find solutions rather than resort to school yard antics of it wasn't me miss it was so and so. We're grown adults and should try and act like it | |||
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"Is this what men say when it most definitely applies to them ? No. It's a misandric trope. It's 2021, and people are STILL stereotyping a majority based on the actions of a small minority. What next? Not all blacks? Not all Muslims? Not all women? Not all gays? Not all trans? Think about how offensive that is for all those groups. Why is it less offensive to say all men and make fun of it. Utterly, utterly disgusting sexist behaviour. " You have this a bit confused. No one is saying that literally all men are bad. The problem is that any discussion on harm caused by men gets hijacked by 'not all men!'. No, it isn't all men, but it's enough men to cause serious problems, and we need to be able to address that without pandering to men who apparently can't deal with any criticism of their gender. | |||
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"Is this what men say when it most definitely applies to them ? No. It's a misandric trope. It's 2021, and people are STILL stereotyping a majority based on the actions of a small minority. What next? Not all blacks? Not all Muslims? Not all women? Not all gays? Not all trans? Think about how offensive that is for all those groups. Why is it less offensive to say all men and make fun of it. Utterly, utterly disgusting sexist behaviour. You have this a bit confused. No one is saying that literally all men are bad. The problem is that any discussion on harm caused by men gets hijacked by 'not all men!'. No, it isn't all men, but it's enough men to cause serious problems, and we need to be able to address that without pandering to men who apparently can't deal with any criticism of their gender. " ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Leave a #notallmen man in a room with a load of snakes. Don’t tell him which is poisonous. Let him have to sympathise with every single one of them as to not offend the non poisonous one. #notallsnakes" What a brilliant analogy. Love this. | |||
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"Is this what men say when it most definitely applies to them ? " Personally no, I think it’s the typical emotional response to feeling accused of something... do I think people say it to shut down the argument, or because they don’t believe it’s a problem... absolutely. Lots of reasons why people respond how they do and it isn’t just one simple reason. Just like everyone should listen to the purpose of what’s being said, so should counter opinions rather than generalising everyone as guilty, defensive or martyr’s... sometimes people just have a different perspective and no one should be close minded or their opinions are the only ones that count or matter. But more importantly, if all you are doing is arguing over semantics and not really doing anything anyway... (that’s both arguing for and against) just shut up ![]() | |||
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"Is this what men say when it most definitely applies to them ? No. It's a misandric trope. It's 2021, and people are STILL stereotyping a majority based on the actions of a small minority. What next? Not all blacks? Not all Muslims? Not all women? Not all gays? Not all trans? Think about how offensive that is for all those groups. Why is it less offensive to say all men and make fun of it. Utterly, utterly disgusting sexist behaviour. You have this a bit confused. No one is saying that literally all men are bad. The problem is that any discussion on harm caused by men gets hijacked by 'not all men!'. No, it isn't all men, but it's enough men to cause serious problems, and we need to be able to address that without pandering to men who apparently can't deal with any criticism of their gender. ![]() ![]() ![]() Well said! | |||
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"Sometimes but it's mostly an attempt to shut down the conversation because they believe that their discomfort at being part of a demographic where some are harming another is a bigger deal than the issue of the people being harmed. " This. Absolutely this | |||
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"Is this what men say when it most definitely applies to them ? No. It's a misandric trope. It's 2021, and people are STILL stereotyping a majority based on the actions of a small minority. What next? Not all blacks? Not all Muslims? Not all women? Not all gays? Not all trans? Think about how offensive that is for all those groups. Why is it less offensive to say all men and make fun of it. Utterly, utterly disgusting sexist behaviour. " Your diatribe is based on the supposition that it’s a small minority and you’re drawing false equivalences between minority groups and a whole gender. | |||
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"Here’s an idea. Let’s stop using ‘men’ and instead use ‘misogynist’, ‘abuser’, ‘rapist’" Demonising the people doesn’t help and is just appeasement. The issue isn’t just misogynists, r**ists, abusers it’s harassment, it’s the creepy sexualisation, it’s the people who can’t take ‘no’, which unfortunately is far more common than many are comfortable in admitting. Putting the issue in neat pigeon holes won’t address the problem | |||
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" You have this a bit confused. No one is saying that literally all men are bad. The problem is that any discussion on harm caused by men gets hijacked by 'not all men!'. No, it isn't all men, but it's enough men to cause serious problems, and we need to be able to address that without pandering to men who apparently can't deal with any criticism of their gender. " Just like how it gets hijacked when any woman dares to be criticised on here. But that always seems to be accepted on here and any thread is filled up of people sticking up for women . But men seemingly don't have to right to say how they don't abuse women they get told they are part of the problem. I've even seen posts in the forum's where men have said they have been attacked by women and some of the responses are taking the piss out of the guys and I've seen some women actually blame the men saying they must have done something to deserve it . No one deserves to be attacked no matter what gender they are and no one is responsible for others behaviours.Telling ALL men that they are somehow responsible for those that abuse is wrong and unfair and ye men do have a right to stand for themselves when it is said and it has been said a lot over the forum's recently. And I am saying this as someone who has been attacked and abused by a man in the past before I get the usual backlash where I get told that it's my opinion because I have not been in a situation where I feared for my life. Yes the guy who attacked me was a prick but it doesn't make me think every guy out there is or that all men should be held responsible just because that guy was the lowest of the low. | |||
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"Here’s an idea. Let’s stop using ‘men’ and instead use ‘misogynist’, ‘abuser’, ‘rapist’" Agreed because Women aren't capable of those things are they? Taking gender out of it, is not the responsibility of everyone to keep themselves safe and call out abusive behaviours And no, it is not all men that I do know | |||
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"Double standards everywhere and rarely nobody calls it out. There was a thread yesterday poking fun at men, everyone thought it was great and joined in. Seems calling out behaviours only counts when it is a Man behaving badly." Truth. | |||
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"Seems calling out behaviours only counts when it is a Man behaving badly." The clunes are there if you look hard enough. | |||
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"Double standards everywhere and rarely nobody calls it out. There was a thread yesterday poking fun at men, everyone thought it was great and joined in. Seems calling out behaviours only counts when it is a Man behaving badly." ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Double standards everywhere and rarely nobody calls it out. There was a thread yesterday poking fun at men, everyone thought it was great and joined in. Seems calling out behaviours only counts when it is a Man behaving badly." What a load of rubbish. Women are told we're crazy, hysterical, bossy, bitchy, gold diggers, try to trap men by getting pregnant, use our sexuality to advance our careers, that we "get ourselves pregnant" to get free housing and money from the state, etc. It's just less of a big deal to criticise women. | |||
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"Leave a #notallmen man in a room with a load of snakes. Don’t tell him which is poisonous. Let him have to sympathise with every single one of them as to not offend the non poisonous one. #notallsnakes" I completely appreciate that most people using this analogy do not know its origins, but it was first popularised in a 1938 German book called Der Giftpilz (the poisonous mushroom). I will let people do their own research and decide if it is suitable for this discussion. | |||
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"Double standards everywhere and rarely nobody calls it out. There was a thread yesterday poking fun at men, everyone thought it was great and joined in. Seems calling out behaviours only counts when it is a Man behaving badly. What a load of rubbish. Women are told we're crazy, hysterical, bossy, bitchy, gold diggers, try to trap men by getting pregnant, use our sexuality to advance our careers, that we "get ourselves pregnant" to get free housing and money from the state, etc. It's just less of a big deal to criticise women. " ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Double standards everywhere and rarely nobody calls it out. There was a thread yesterday poking fun at men, everyone thought it was great and joined in. Seems calling out behaviours only counts when it is a Man behaving badly." That’s very true. I don’t think that it negates either as being bad though. It’s not about people being exclusively good or bad, everyone is shades of grey in the middle and we can all do better in calling out problematic and bad behaviour. I think that part of the problem is that people place others in binary groups of ‘good/bad’, if a person has been abused, they’re a victim (good) but an abuser can be abused and criminal can be a victim. People are complex, they’re not just one things, so let’s not use one sin to wash off another. | |||
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"Leave a #notallmen man in a room with a load of snakes. Don’t tell him which is poisonous. Let him have to sympathise with every single one of them as to not offend the non poisonous one. #notallsnakes I completely appreciate that most people using this analogy do not know its origins, but it was first popularised in a 1938 German book called Der Giftpilz (the poisonous mushroom). I will let people do their own research and decide if it is suitable for this discussion. " Did you just drop Hitler into this discussion? # NotAllNazis | |||
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"Double standards everywhere and rarely nobody calls it out. There was a thread yesterday poking fun at men, everyone thought it was great and joined in. Seems calling out behaviours only counts when it is a Man behaving badly. What a load of rubbish. Women are told we're crazy, hysterical, bossy, bitchy, gold diggers, try to trap men by getting pregnant, use our sexuality to advance our careers, that we "get ourselves pregnant" to get free housing and money from the state, etc. It's just less of a big deal to criticise women. " Please don't negate what I say as rubbish because you disagree. Do we? Who does that? People on Fab? Daily Fail readers or the great unwashed of the social media camp? | |||
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"Double standards everywhere and rarely nobody calls it out. There was a thread yesterday poking fun at men, everyone thought it was great and joined in. Seems calling out behaviours only counts when it is a Man behaving badly. That’s very true. I don’t think that it negates either as being bad though. It’s not about people being exclusively good or bad, everyone is shades of grey in the middle and we can all do better in calling out problematic and bad behaviour. I think that part of the problem is that people place others in binary groups of ‘good/bad’, if a person has been abused, they’re a victim (good) but an abuser can be abused and criminal can be a victim. People are complex, they’re not just one things, so let’s not use one sin to wash off another. " This is very true | |||
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"Sometimes but it's mostly an attempt to shut down the conversation because they believe that their discomfort at being part of a demographic where some are harming another is a bigger deal than the issue of the people being harmed. " This. | |||
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"Leave a #notallmen man in a room with a load of snakes. Don’t tell him which is poisonous. Let him have to sympathise with every single one of them as to not offend the non poisonous one. #notallsnakes I completely appreciate that most people using this analogy do not know its origins, but it was first popularised in a 1938 German book called Der Giftpilz (the poisonous mushroom). I will let people do their own research and decide if it is suitable for this discussion. Did you just drop Hitler into this discussion? # NotAllNazis" The origins of this analogy were pointed out to me by a Jewish friend who was troubled by the way it was being recycled without knowledge of the source. But feel free to mock their concerns. | |||
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"Double standards everywhere and rarely nobody calls it out. There was a thread yesterday poking fun at men, everyone thought it was great and joined in. Seems calling out behaviours only counts when it is a Man behaving badly. That’s very true. I don’t think that it negates either as being bad though. It’s not about people being exclusively good or bad, everyone is shades of grey in the middle and we can all do better in calling out problematic and bad behaviour. I think that part of the problem is that people place others in binary groups of ‘good/bad’, if a person has been abused, they’re a victim (good) but an abuser can be abused and criminal can be a victim. People are complex, they’re not just one things, so let’s not use one sin to wash off another. " What is even more interesting is that most ppl will always categorise themselves into the good group while categorise distant others as bad. Therefore the abuser must be intrinsically bad and the victim inherently good. The contexts aren't even taking into consideration. | |||
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" You have this a bit confused. No one is saying that literally all men are bad. The problem is that any discussion on harm caused by men gets hijacked by 'not all men!'. No, it isn't all men, but it's enough men to cause serious problems, and we need to be able to address that without pandering to men who apparently can't deal with any criticism of their gender. Just like how it gets hijacked when any woman dares to be criticised on here. But that always seems to be accepted on here and any thread is filled up of people sticking up for women . But men seemingly don't have to right to say how they don't abuse women they get told they are part of the problem. I've even seen posts in the forum's where men have said they have been attacked by women and some of the responses are taking the piss out of the guys and I've seen some women actually blame the men saying they must have done something to deserve it . No one deserves to be attacked no matter what gender they are and no one is responsible for others behaviours.Telling ALL men that they are somehow responsible for those that abuse is wrong and unfair and ye men do have a right to stand for themselves when it is said and it has been said a lot over the forum's recently. And I am saying this as someone who has been attacked and abused by a man in the past before I get the usual backlash where I get told that it's my opinion because I have not been in a situation where I feared for my life. Yes the guy who attacked me was a prick but it doesn't make me think every guy out there is or that all men should be held responsible just because that guy was the lowest of the low." Very well said | |||
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"Is this what men say when it most definitely applies to them ? No. It's a misandric trope. It's 2021, and people are STILL stereotyping a majority based on the actions of a small minority. What next? Not all blacks? Not all Muslims? Not all women? Not all gays? Not all trans? Think about how offensive that is for all those groups. Why is it less offensive to say all men and make fun of it. Utterly, utterly disgusting sexist behaviour. " Ain’t that the truth. ?? | |||
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"Leave a #notallmen man in a room with a load of snakes. Don’t tell him which is poisonous. Let him have to sympathise with every single one of them as to not offend the non poisonous one. #notallsnakes I completely appreciate that most people using this analogy do not know its origins, but it was first popularised in a 1938 German book called Der Giftpilz (the poisonous mushroom). I will let people do their own research and decide if it is suitable for this discussion. Did you just drop Hitler into this discussion? # NotAllNazis The origins of this analogy were pointed out to me by a Jewish friend who was troubled by the way it was being recycled without knowledge of the source. But feel free to mock their concerns. " I think that in terms of its current usage, it’s very appropriate. Does your friend also not drive Volkswagens? My point is that a lot of things are problematic if we go into the history of their inceptions. Does it’s original usage make it less relevant as an analogy in this instance? | |||
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"Double standards everywhere and rarely nobody calls it out. There was a thread yesterday poking fun at men, everyone thought it was great and joined in. Seems calling out behaviours only counts when it is a Man behaving badly. That’s very true. I don’t think that it negates either as being bad though. It’s not about people being exclusively good or bad, everyone is shades of grey in the middle and we can all do better in calling out problematic and bad behaviour. I think that part of the problem is that people place others in binary groups of ‘good/bad’, if a person has been abused, they’re a victim (good) but an abuser can be abused and criminal can be a victim. People are complex, they’re not just one things, so let’s not use one sin to wash off another. What is even more interesting is that most ppl will always categorise themselves into the good group while categorise distant others as bad. Therefore the abuser must be intrinsically bad and the victim inherently good. The contexts aren't even taking into consideration. " Exactly. I have no doubt that ra*ists or abusers rationalise and justify their actions and try to ‘be good’ so they can look at themselves in the mirror. People judge themselves on their intentions and others on their actions. People will always claim to be the good guys, always say they’re part of the solution. I’ve seen abusers and ped**hiles first hand, trying to justify their actions and how they think. No one that does wrong will just casually admit to it or implicate themselves | |||
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"Double standards everywhere and rarely nobody calls it out. There was a thread yesterday poking fun at men, everyone thought it was great and joined in. Seems calling out behaviours only counts when it is a Man behaving badly. That’s very true. I don’t think that it negates either as being bad though. It’s not about people being exclusively good or bad, everyone is shades of grey in the middle and we can all do better in calling out problematic and bad behaviour. I think that part of the problem is that people place others in binary groups of ‘good/bad’, if a person has been abused, they’re a victim (good) but an abuser can be abused and criminal can be a victim. People are complex, they’re not just one things, so let’s not use one sin to wash off another. What is even more interesting is that most ppl will always categorise themselves into the good group while categorise distant others as bad. Therefore the abuser must be intrinsically bad and the victim inherently good. The contexts aren't even taking into consideration. Exactly. I have no doubt that ra*ists or abusers rationalise and justify their actions and try to ‘be good’ so they can look at themselves in the mirror. People judge themselves on their intentions and others on their actions. People will always claim to be the good guys, always say they’re part of the solution. I’ve seen abusers and ped**hiles first hand, trying to justify their actions and how they think. No one that does wrong will just casually admit to it or implicate themselves " That's where lies the problem unfortunately. Human biases | |||
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"Double standards everywhere and rarely nobody calls it out. There was a thread yesterday poking fun at men, everyone thought it was great and joined in. Seems calling out behaviours only counts when it is a Man behaving badly. That’s very true. I don’t think that it negates either as being bad though. It’s not about people being exclusively good or bad, everyone is shades of grey in the middle and we can all do better in calling out problematic and bad behaviour. I think that part of the problem is that people place others in binary groups of ‘good/bad’, if a person has been abused, they’re a victim (good) but an abuser can be abused and criminal can be a victim. People are complex, they’re not just one things, so let’s not use one sin to wash off another. What is even more interesting is that most ppl will always categorise themselves into the good group while categorise distant others as bad. Therefore the abuser must be intrinsically bad and the victim inherently good. The contexts aren't even taking into consideration. Exactly. I have no doubt that ra*ists or abusers rationalise and justify their actions and try to ‘be good’ so they can look at themselves in the mirror. People judge themselves on their intentions and others on their actions. People will always claim to be the good guys, always say they’re part of the solution. I’ve seen abusers and ped**hiles first hand, trying to justify their actions and how they think. No one that does wrong will just casually admit to it or implicate themselves That's where lies the problem unfortunately. Human biases" I think that all that it proves is that people can’t be trusted and reinforces that the statement ‘not all men’ can’t be trusted either. Whilst it may be factually correct, the person saying it can’t be trusted | |||
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"Double standards everywhere and rarely nobody calls it out. There was a thread yesterday poking fun at men, everyone thought it was great and joined in. Seems calling out behaviours only counts when it is a Man behaving badly. That’s very true. I don’t think that it negates either as being bad though. It’s not about people being exclusively good or bad, everyone is shades of grey in the middle and we can all do better in calling out problematic and bad behaviour. I think that part of the problem is that people place others in binary groups of ‘good/bad’, if a person has been abused, they’re a victim (good) but an abuser can be abused and criminal can be a victim. People are complex, they’re not just one things, so let’s not use one sin to wash off another. What is even more interesting is that most ppl will always categorise themselves into the good group while categorise distant others as bad. Therefore the abuser must be intrinsically bad and the victim inherently good. The contexts aren't even taking into consideration. Exactly. I have no doubt that ra*ists or abusers rationalise and justify their actions and try to ‘be good’ so they can look at themselves in the mirror. People judge themselves on their intentions and others on their actions. People will always claim to be the good guys, always say they’re part of the solution. I’ve seen abusers and ped**hiles first hand, trying to justify their actions and how they think. No one that does wrong will just casually admit to it or implicate themselves That's where lies the problem unfortunately. Human biases I think that all that it proves is that people can’t be trusted and reinforces that the statement ‘not all men’ can’t be trusted either. Whilst it may be factually correct, the person saying it can’t be trusted " Makes me cynical though. But I do agree | |||
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"Is this what men say when it most definitely applies to them ? " Yes, and when it doesn't too. To paraphrase Christine Keeler "Well he would say that, wouldn't he?" | |||
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"I think that when people blame a whole group of society for the few bad apples, they lose credibility. Any decent human being knows right from wrong, but innocence by people have a clear conscience. This whole idea of blaming men for not policing other men is just as ridiculous as expecting women to do the same when women behave badly as highlighted in posts above. The misandry going round at the minute is unbelievable and I am not surprised by the amount of men who choose to have nothing to do with women these days. The world has never been more divided, whether it’s race, gender, wealth , political views or even what generation people were born in. It’s getting very tiresome." This is all playing into the Tories’ hands. They thrive on splitting society, especially those to the left xx | |||
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"I think that when people blame a whole group of society for the few bad apples, they lose credibility. Any decent human being knows right from wrong, but innocence by people have a clear conscience. This whole idea of blaming men for not policing other men is just as ridiculous as expecting women to do the same when women behave badly as highlighted in posts above. The misandry going round at the minute is unbelievable and I am not surprised by the amount of men who choose to have nothing to do with women these days. The world has never been more divided, whether it’s race, gender, wealth , political views or even what generation people were born in. It’s getting very tiresome." ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I think that when people blame a whole group of society for the few bad apples, they lose credibility. Any decent human being knows right from wrong, but innocence by people have a clear conscience. This whole idea of blaming men for not policing other men is just as ridiculous as expecting women to do the same when women behave badly as highlighted in posts above. The misandry going round at the minute is unbelievable and I am not surprised by the amount of men who choose to have nothing to do with women these days. The world has never been more divided, whether it’s race, gender, wealth , political views or even what generation people were born in. It’s getting very tiresome." ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I think that when people blame a whole group of society for the few bad apples, they lose credibility. Any decent human being knows right from wrong, but innocence by people have a clear conscience. This whole idea of blaming men for not policing other men is just as ridiculous as expecting women to do the same when women behave badly as highlighted in posts above. The misandry going round at the minute is unbelievable and I am not surprised by the amount of men who choose to have nothing to do with women these days. The world has never been more divided, whether it’s race, gender, wealth , political views or even what generation people were born in. It’s getting very tiresome." I said just the same thing the other day. Everytime a subject matter pops up, I am expected to pick sides. ![]() | |||
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"I think that when people blame a whole group of society for the few bad apples, they lose credibility. Any decent human being knows right from wrong, but innocence by people have a clear conscience. This whole idea of blaming men for not policing other men is just as ridiculous as expecting women to do the same when women behave badly as highlighted in posts above. The misandry going round at the minute is unbelievable and I am not surprised by the amount of men who choose to have nothing to do with women these days. The world has never been more divided, whether it’s race, gender, wealth , political views or even what generation people were born in. It’s getting very tiresome." I think that you’re ignoring the depth of the problem and how it’s been dismissed for a very long time. I don’t think that it’s misandry I just think that it’s a rebalance of the misogyny that is ingrained into society. | |||
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"I think that when people blame a whole group of society for the few bad apples, they lose credibility. Any decent human being knows right from wrong, but innocence by people have a clear conscience. This whole idea of blaming men for not policing other men is just as ridiculous as expecting women to do the same when women behave badly as highlighted in posts above. The misandry going round at the minute is unbelievable and I am not surprised by the amount of men who choose to have nothing to do with women these days. The world has never been more divided, whether it’s race, gender, wealth , political views or even what generation people were born in. It’s getting very tiresome. This is all playing into the Tories’ hands. They thrive on splitting society, especially those to the left xx" What a strange comment. This isn’t a political argument | |||
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"I think that when people blame a whole group of society for the few bad apples, they lose credibility. Any decent human being knows right from wrong, but innocence by people have a clear conscience. This whole idea of blaming men for not policing other men is just as ridiculous as expecting women to do the same when women behave badly as highlighted in posts above. The misandry going round at the minute is unbelievable and I am not surprised by the amount of men who choose to have nothing to do with women these days. The world has never been more divided, whether it’s race, gender, wealth , political views or even what generation people were born in. It’s getting very tiresome." Very tiresome and very well said! | |||
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"I think that when people blame a whole group of society for the few bad apples, they lose credibility. Any decent human being knows right from wrong, but innocence by people have a clear conscience. This whole idea of blaming men for not policing other men is just as ridiculous as expecting women to do the same when women behave badly as highlighted in posts above. The misandry going round at the minute is unbelievable and I am not surprised by the amount of men who choose to have nothing to do with women these days. The world has never been more divided, whether it’s race, gender, wealth , political views or even what generation people were born in. It’s getting very tiresome." Very very well said | |||
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"It can be very selective at times of what people are fighting for. It takes a tragedy to happen for a movement to start which unfortunately a lot of people join at the time to suit their agenda. It's time to stop putting people in boxes and blaming the many for the actions of the few. It doesn't matter about gender, there are good and bad people in this world.. It's up to you and you alone to decide which one you will be ![]() The issue with that is that ‘bad’ people don’t believe that they are bad. They justify their actions or believe that their actions aren’t injurious. | |||
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"It can be very selective at times of what people are fighting for. It takes a tragedy to happen for a movement to start which unfortunately a lot of people join at the time to suit their agenda. It's time to stop putting people in boxes and blaming the many for the actions of the few. It doesn't matter about gender, there are good and bad people in this world.. It's up to you and you alone to decide which one you will be ![]() That's exactly the point, no amount of education will change their way of thinking. They know what's wrong and choose to do it anyway. You can't shift responsiblity of their actions on to others, it's on their shoulders alone. | |||
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"Why can't people just listen? Why can't I say when a man walks behind me at night I feel intimidated? Yes most men are harmless, but I don't know that individual is. It may not have occurred to said male if these kinds of conversations were taking place. So why detail everything saying not all men? Why not listen and learn and help make everyone feel safer? " 100% People would rather feel insulted or shift the discussion or argue semantics, than actually address and engage in the discussion. We’re here arguing about men’s hurt feelings, rather than the actual issue | |||
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"Why can't people just listen? Why can't I say when a man walks behind me at night I feel intimidated? Yes most men are harmless, but I don't know that individual is. It may not have occurred to said male if these kinds of conversations were taking place. So why detail everything saying not all men? Why not listen and learn and help make everyone feel safer? 100% People would rather feel insulted or shift the discussion or argue semantics, than actually address and engage in the discussion. We’re here arguing about men’s hurt feelings, rather than the actual issue" That works both ways, the men should be listened to aswell. Yes of course it's ok to say you feel intimidated if you are walking alone at night. That doesn't mean that all men should cross the road to make you feel better, there has to be some kind of self responsibility of keeping yourself safe. If people rely on stuff like this, their guard will be dropped and that's when they are most likely to be unsafe. If I feel intimidated I will cross the road or make decisions about not being outside alone at night. It would be a great world if we all could just be safe but that's not the world we live in unfortunately. | |||
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"Why can't people just listen? Why can't I say when a man walks behind me at night I feel intimidated? Yes most men are harmless, but I don't know that individual is. It may not have occurred to said male if these kinds of conversations were taking place. So why detail everything saying not all men? Why not listen and learn and help make everyone feel safer? 100% People would rather feel insulted or shift the discussion or argue semantics, than actually address and engage in the discussion. We’re here arguing about men’s hurt feelings, rather than the actual issue That works both ways, the men should be listened to aswell. Yes of course it's ok to say you feel intimidated if you are walking alone at night. That doesn't mean that all men should cross the road to make you feel better, there has to be some kind of self responsibility of keeping yourself safe. If people rely on stuff like this, their guard will be dropped and that's when they are most likely to be unsafe. If I feel intimidated I will cross the road or make decisions about not being outside alone at night. It would be a great world if we all could just be safe but that's not the world we live in unfortunately." This is my take on it too. It is nobody else's responsibility to keep myself safe, it is mine and I will do that. | |||
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"Why can't people just listen? Why can't I say when a man walks behind me at night I feel intimidated? Yes most men are harmless, but I don't know that individual is. It may not have occurred to said male if these kinds of conversations were taking place. So why detail everything saying not all men? Why not listen and learn and help make everyone feel safer? 100% People would rather feel insulted or shift the discussion or argue semantics, than actually address and engage in the discussion. We’re here arguing about men’s hurt feelings, rather than the actual issue That works both ways, the men should be listened to aswell. Yes of course it's ok to say you feel intimidated if you are walking alone at night. That doesn't mean that all men should cross the road to make you feel better, there has to be some kind of self responsibility of keeping yourself safe. If people rely on stuff like this, their guard will be dropped and that's when they are most likely to be unsafe. If I feel intimidated I will cross the road or make decisions about not being outside alone at night. It would be a great world if we all could just be safe but that's not the world we live in unfortunately." ![]() | |||
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"My take on this is that people are limping all men together and saying we need to do this do thaf. Men aren’t the problem. Rapists and murderers and psychopaths are. They aren’t men. They aren’t even people. They’re freaks of society. So telling good, honest, respectful men to think about women’s feelings does nothing. It don’t stop the freaks. So instead of pointing a finger at men and asking us to do something that does nothing. Let’s point a finger at the government and police and ask what are you doing to make streets safer for everyone. Because I’m twice as likely to be murdered by one of these freaks than a woman is. No ones campaigning for my safety. In fact apparently, I’m the problem? " This | |||
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"I feel like I could literally be being murdered on a street in broad daylight and women would still complain that I didn’t cross the road and they feel intimidated " That sort of comment is ridiculous and shows you don't understand the problem! | |||
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"I feel like I could literally be being murdered on a street in broad daylight and women would still complain that I didn’t cross the road and they feel intimidated That sort of comment is ridiculous and shows you don't understand the problem!" Then read my comment above and educate me. It’s funny that when women feel something everyone needs to change. Thrn I express my feelings and suddenly Im ridiculous and don’t understand. Men get murdered at twice the rate as women Then on top of that 75% of women that are killed are murdered by someone they know. But they want complete strangers to cross the road to make them FEEL safer. Instead of asking the police why we aren’t actually safer? Why isn’t there more real protection. Me crossing the road don’t protect yiu. I’m not a threat. Your friends and ex partners are more a threat to your safety than a stranger is | |||
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"Why can't people just listen? Why can't I say when a man walks behind me at night I feel intimidated? Yes most men are harmless, but I don't know that individual is. It may not have occurred to said male if these kinds of conversations were taking place. So why detail everything saying not all men? Why not listen and learn and help make everyone feel safer? 100% People would rather feel insulted or shift the discussion or argue semantics, than actually address and engage in the discussion. We’re here arguing about men’s hurt feelings, rather than the actual issue That works both ways, the men should be listened to aswell. Yes of course it's ok to say you feel intimidated if you are walking alone at night. That doesn't mean that all men should cross the road to make you feel better, there has to be some kind of self responsibility of keeping yourself safe. If people rely on stuff like this, their guard will be dropped and that's when they are most likely to be unsafe. If I feel intimidated I will cross the road or make decisions about not being outside alone at night. It would be a great world if we all could just be safe but that's not the world we live in unfortunately." But that's the thing I already do cross a road for example. A male may not realise why I do it. It's not a bad thing to have these discussions. We're all here to learn from each other. Arguing if me saying men is bad or not isn't helpful in my opinion. Especially when alternative phraseology is never given. | |||
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"Why can't people just listen? Why can't I say when a man walks behind me at night I feel intimidated? Yes most men are harmless, but I don't know that individual is. It may not have occurred to said male if these kinds of conversations were taking place. So why detail everything saying not all men? Why not listen and learn and help make everyone feel safer? 100% People would rather feel insulted or shift the discussion or argue semantics, than actually address and engage in the discussion. We’re here arguing about men’s hurt feelings, rather than the actual issue That works both ways, the men should be listened to aswell. Yes of course it's ok to say you feel intimidated if you are walking alone at night. That doesn't mean that all men should cross the road to make you feel better, there has to be some kind of self responsibility of keeping yourself safe. If people rely on stuff like this, their guard will be dropped and that's when they are most likely to be unsafe. If I feel intimidated I will cross the road or make decisions about not being outside alone at night. It would be a great world if we all could just be safe but that's not the world we live in unfortunately. But that's the thing I already do cross a road for example. A male may not realise why I do it. It's not a bad thing to have these discussions. We're all here to learn from each other. Arguing if me saying men is bad or not isn't helpful in my opinion. Especially when alternative phraseology is never given. " Murderers, rapists and psychopaths are bad That’s the phrasing | |||
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"I feel like I could literally be being murdered on a street in broad daylight and women would still complain that I didn’t cross the road and they feel intimidated " How are the two things actually linked? Confused? | |||
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"Why can't people just listen? Why can't I say when a man walks behind me at night I feel intimidated? Yes most men are harmless, but I don't know that individual is. It may not have occurred to said male if these kinds of conversations were taking place. So why detail everything saying not all men? Why not listen and learn and help make everyone feel safer? 100% People would rather feel insulted or shift the discussion or argue semantics, than actually address and engage in the discussion. We’re here arguing about men’s hurt feelings, rather than the actual issue That works both ways, the men should be listened to aswell. Yes of course it's ok to say you feel intimidated if you are walking alone at night. That doesn't mean that all men should cross the road to make you feel better, there has to be some kind of self responsibility of keeping yourself safe. If people rely on stuff like this, their guard will be dropped and that's when they are most likely to be unsafe. If I feel intimidated I will cross the road or make decisions about not being outside alone at night. It would be a great world if we all could just be safe but that's not the world we live in unfortunately. But that's the thing I already do cross a road for example. A male may not realise why I do it. It's not a bad thing to have these discussions. We're all here to learn from each other. Arguing if me saying men is bad or not isn't helpful in my opinion. Especially when alternative phraseology is never given. Murderers, rapists and psychopaths are bad That’s the phrasing " Did I say men who walk closely behind were any of these things? No. Stop and actually listen to the conversation ![]() | |||
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"I feel like I could literally be being murdered on a street in broad daylight and women would still complain that I didn’t cross the road and they feel intimidated How are the two things actually linked? Confused? " They don’t have to be. It’s how I feel. | |||
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"Why can't people just listen? Why can't I say when a man walks behind me at night I feel intimidated? Yes most men are harmless, but I don't know that individual is. It may not have occurred to said male if these kinds of conversations were taking place. So why detail everything saying not all men? Why not listen and learn and help make everyone feel safer? 100% People would rather feel insulted or shift the discussion or argue semantics, than actually address and engage in the discussion. We’re here arguing about men’s hurt feelings, rather than the actual issue That works both ways, the men should be listened to aswell. Yes of course it's ok to say you feel intimidated if you are walking alone at night. That doesn't mean that all men should cross the road to make you feel better, there has to be some kind of self responsibility of keeping yourself safe. If people rely on stuff like this, their guard will be dropped and that's when they are most likely to be unsafe. If I feel intimidated I will cross the road or make decisions about not being outside alone at night. It would be a great world if we all could just be safe but that's not the world we live in unfortunately. But that's the thing I already do cross a road for example. A male may not realise why I do it. It's not a bad thing to have these discussions. We're all here to learn from each other. Arguing if me saying men is bad or not isn't helpful in my opinion. Especially when alternative phraseology is never given. Murderers, rapists and psychopaths are bad That’s the phrasing Did I say men who walk closely behind were any of these things? No. Stop and actually listen to the conversation ![]() You said there’s no other phraseology I just gave you one Use that instead of men. It’s simple. Same as we don’t say all Muslims are terrorists | |||
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"Leave a #notallmen man in a room with a load of snakes. Don’t tell him which is poisonous. Let him have to sympathise with every single one of them as to not offend the non poisonous one. #notallsnakes I completely appreciate that most people using this analogy do not know its origins, but it was first popularised in a 1938 German book called Der Giftpilz (the poisonous mushroom). I will let people do their own research and decide if it is suitable for this discussion. Did you just drop Hitler into this discussion? # NotAllNazis" He was a vegetarian and so probably ok | |||
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"Leave a #notallmen man in a room with a load of snakes. Don’t tell him which is poisonous. Let him have to sympathise with every single one of them as to not offend the non poisonous one. #notallsnakes I completely appreciate that most people using this analogy do not know its origins, but it was first popularised in a 1938 German book called Der Giftpilz (the poisonous mushroom). I will let people do their own research and decide if it is suitable for this discussion. Did you just drop Hitler into this discussion? # NotAllNazis He was a vegetarian and so probably ok " And a painter! I guess one day he was just like “I can’t get the trees to look right... forget I will just kill all the Jews!” Eddie Izzard Is my hero! | |||
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"Why can't people just listen? Why can't I say when a man walks behind me at night I feel intimidated? Yes most men are harmless, but I don't know that individual is. It may not have occurred to said male if these kinds of conversations were taking place. So why detail everything saying not all men? Why not listen and learn and help make everyone feel safer? 100% People would rather feel insulted or shift the discussion or argue semantics, than actually address and engage in the discussion. We’re here arguing about men’s hurt feelings, rather than the actual issue That works both ways, the men should be listened to aswell. Yes of course it's ok to say you feel intimidated if you are walking alone at night. That doesn't mean that all men should cross the road to make you feel better, there has to be some kind of self responsibility of keeping yourself safe. If people rely on stuff like this, their guard will be dropped and that's when they are most likely to be unsafe. If I feel intimidated I will cross the road or make decisions about not being outside alone at night. It would be a great world if we all could just be safe but that's not the world we live in unfortunately. But that's the thing I already do cross a road for example. A male may not realise why I do it. It's not a bad thing to have these discussions. We're all here to learn from each other. Arguing if me saying men is bad or not isn't helpful in my opinion. Especially when alternative phraseology is never given. Murderers, rapists and psychopaths are bad That’s the phrasing Did I say men who walk closely behind were any of these things? No. Stop and actually listen to the conversation ![]() Ok so I'll label each man who walks behind me that little bit too close to me at night a murderer, right ![]() | |||
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"Why can't people just listen? Why can't I say when a man walks behind me at night I feel intimidated? Yes most men are harmless, but I don't know that individual is. It may not have occurred to said male if these kinds of conversations were taking place. So why detail everything saying not all men? Why not listen and learn and help make everyone feel safer? 100% People would rather feel insulted or shift the discussion or argue semantics, than actually address and engage in the discussion. We’re here arguing about men’s hurt feelings, rather than the actual issue That works both ways, the men should be listened to aswell. Yes of course it's ok to say you feel intimidated if you are walking alone at night. That doesn't mean that all men should cross the road to make you feel better, there has to be some kind of self responsibility of keeping yourself safe. If people rely on stuff like this, their guard will be dropped and that's when they are most likely to be unsafe. If I feel intimidated I will cross the road or make decisions about not being outside alone at night. It would be a great world if we all could just be safe but that's not the world we live in unfortunately. But that's the thing I already do cross a road for example. A male may not realise why I do it. It's not a bad thing to have these discussions. We're all here to learn from each other. Arguing if me saying men is bad or not isn't helpful in my opinion. Especially when alternative phraseology is never given. " Absolutely its a good thing to have these discussions and of course every man should have the knowledge of how to treat a woman and vice versa a woman on how to treat a man. Its good to debate and learn other people's perspectives, I think we can all agree on that at least ![]() | |||
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"Why can't people just listen? Why can't I say when a man walks behind me at night I feel intimidated? Yes most men are harmless, but I don't know that individual is. It may not have occurred to said male if these kinds of conversations were taking place. So why detail everything saying not all men? Why not listen and learn and help make everyone feel safer? 100% People would rather feel insulted or shift the discussion or argue semantics, than actually address and engage in the discussion. We’re here arguing about men’s hurt feelings, rather than the actual issue That works both ways, the men should be listened to aswell. Yes of course it's ok to say you feel intimidated if you are walking alone at night. That doesn't mean that all men should cross the road to make you feel better, there has to be some kind of self responsibility of keeping yourself safe. If people rely on stuff like this, their guard will be dropped and that's when they are most likely to be unsafe. If I feel intimidated I will cross the road or make decisions about not being outside alone at night. It would be a great world if we all could just be safe but that's not the world we live in unfortunately. But that's the thing I already do cross a road for example. A male may not realise why I do it. It's not a bad thing to have these discussions. We're all here to learn from each other. Arguing if me saying men is bad or not isn't helpful in my opinion. Especially when alternative phraseology is never given. Murderers, rapists and psychopaths are bad That’s the phrasing Did I say men who walk closely behind were any of these things? No. Stop and actually listen to the conversation ![]() ![]() I don’t understand what your saying Don’t label the man behind you anything. Label the murderers, rapists and psychopaths. How is this hard to understand? | |||
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"Why can't people just listen? Why can't I say when a man walks behind me at night I feel intimidated? Yes most men are harmless, but I don't know that individual is. It may not have occurred to said male if these kinds of conversations were taking place. So why detail everything saying not all men? Why not listen and learn and help make everyone feel safer? 100% People would rather feel insulted or shift the discussion or argue semantics, than actually address and engage in the discussion. We’re here arguing about men’s hurt feelings, rather than the actual issue That works both ways, the men should be listened to aswell. Yes of course it's ok to say you feel intimidated if you are walking alone at night. That doesn't mean that all men should cross the road to make you feel better, there has to be some kind of self responsibility of keeping yourself safe. If people rely on stuff like this, their guard will be dropped and that's when they are most likely to be unsafe. If I feel intimidated I will cross the road or make decisions about not being outside alone at night. It would be a great world if we all could just be safe but that's not the world we live in unfortunately. But that's the thing I already do cross a road for example. A male may not realise why I do it. It's not a bad thing to have these discussions. We're all here to learn from each other. Arguing if me saying men is bad or not isn't helpful in my opinion. Especially when alternative phraseology is never given. Absolutely its a good thing to have these discussions and of course every man should have the knowledge of how to treat a woman and vice versa a woman on how to treat a man. Its good to debate and learn other people's perspectives, I think we can all agree on that at least ![]() Totally agree with you ![]() | |||
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"Is this what men say when it most definitely applies to them ? Personally no, I think it’s the typical emotional response to feeling accused of something... do I think people say it to shut down the argument, or because they don’t believe it’s a problem... absolutely. Lots of reasons why people respond how they do and it isn’t just one simple reason. Just like everyone should listen to the purpose of what’s being said, so should counter opinions rather than generalising everyone as guilty, defensive or martyr’s... sometimes people just have a different perspective and no one should be close minded or their opinions are the only ones that count or matter. But more importantly, if all you are doing is arguing over semantics and not really doing anything anyway... (that’s both arguing for and against) just shut up ![]() Hallelujah! | |||
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"Why can't people just listen? Why can't I say when a man walks behind me at night I feel intimidated? Yes most men are harmless, but I don't know that individual is. It may not have occurred to said male if these kinds of conversations were taking place. So why detail everything saying not all men? Why not listen and learn and help make everyone feel safer? 100% People would rather feel insulted or shift the discussion or argue semantics, than actually address and engage in the discussion. We’re here arguing about men’s hurt feelings, rather than the actual issue That works both ways, the men should be listened to aswell. Yes of course it's ok to say you feel intimidated if you are walking alone at night. That doesn't mean that all men should cross the road to make you feel better, there has to be some kind of self responsibility of keeping yourself safe. If people rely on stuff like this, their guard will be dropped and that's when they are most likely to be unsafe. If I feel intimidated I will cross the road or make decisions about not being outside alone at night. It would be a great world if we all could just be safe but that's not the world we live in unfortunately. But that's the thing I already do cross a road for example. A male may not realise why I do it. It's not a bad thing to have these discussions. We're all here to learn from each other. Arguing if me saying men is bad or not isn't helpful in my opinion. Especially when alternative phraseology is never given. Murderers, rapists and psychopaths are bad That’s the phrasing Did I say men who walk closely behind were any of these things? No. Stop and actually listen to the conversation ![]() ![]() Is there a word for, I don’t know what that man behind me actually is, until the danger and/or situation has passed? | |||
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"Why can't people just listen? Why can't I say when a man walks behind me at night I feel intimidated? Yes most men are harmless, but I don't know that individual is. It may not have occurred to said male if these kinds of conversations were taking place. So why detail everything saying not all men? Why not listen and learn and help make everyone feel safer? 100% People would rather feel insulted or shift the discussion or argue semantics, than actually address and engage in the discussion. We’re here arguing about men’s hurt feelings, rather than the actual issue That works both ways, the men should be listened to aswell. Yes of course it's ok to say you feel intimidated if you are walking alone at night. That doesn't mean that all men should cross the road to make you feel better, there has to be some kind of self responsibility of keeping yourself safe. If people rely on stuff like this, their guard will be dropped and that's when they are most likely to be unsafe. If I feel intimidated I will cross the road or make decisions about not being outside alone at night. It would be a great world if we all could just be safe but that's not the world we live in unfortunately. But that's the thing I already do cross a road for example. A male may not realise why I do it. It's not a bad thing to have these discussions. We're all here to learn from each other. Arguing if me saying men is bad or not isn't helpful in my opinion. Especially when alternative phraseology is never given. Murderers, rapists and psychopaths are bad That’s the phrasing Did I say men who walk closely behind were any of these things? No. Stop and actually listen to the conversation ![]() ![]() Statistically, if you don’t know him, he’s not a threat. So I’d leave it at that. | |||
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"Why can't people just listen? Why can't I say when a man walks behind me at night I feel intimidated? Yes most men are harmless, but I don't know that individual is. It may not have occurred to said male if these kinds of conversations were taking place. So why detail everything saying not all men? Why not listen and learn and help make everyone feel safer? 100% People would rather feel insulted or shift the discussion or argue semantics, than actually address and engage in the discussion. We’re here arguing about men’s hurt feelings, rather than the actual issue That works both ways, the men should be listened to aswell. Yes of course it's ok to say you feel intimidated if you are walking alone at night. That doesn't mean that all men should cross the road to make you feel better, there has to be some kind of self responsibility of keeping yourself safe. If people rely on stuff like this, their guard will be dropped and that's when they are most likely to be unsafe. If I feel intimidated I will cross the road or make decisions about not being outside alone at night. It would be a great world if we all could just be safe but that's not the world we live in unfortunately. But that's the thing I already do cross a road for example. A male may not realise why I do it. It's not a bad thing to have these discussions. We're all here to learn from each other. Arguing if me saying men is bad or not isn't helpful in my opinion. Especially when alternative phraseology is never given. Murderers, rapists and psychopaths are bad That’s the phrasing Did I say men who walk closely behind were any of these things? No. Stop and actually listen to the conversation ![]() ![]() Really? It’s not that simple. Statistics are all very well, but it doesn’t always follow. | |||
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"Why can't people just listen? Why can't I say when a man walks behind me at night I feel intimidated? Yes most men are harmless, but I don't know that individual is. It may not have occurred to said male if these kinds of conversations were taking place. So why detail everything saying not all men? Why not listen and learn and help make everyone feel safer? 100% People would rather feel insulted or shift the discussion or argue semantics, than actually address and engage in the discussion. We’re here arguing about men’s hurt feelings, rather than the actual issue That works both ways, the men should be listened to aswell. Yes of course it's ok to say you feel intimidated if you are walking alone at night. That doesn't mean that all men should cross the road to make you feel better, there has to be some kind of self responsibility of keeping yourself safe. If people rely on stuff like this, their guard will be dropped and that's when they are most likely to be unsafe. If I feel intimidated I will cross the road or make decisions about not being outside alone at night. It would be a great world if we all could just be safe but that's not the world we live in unfortunately. But that's the thing I already do cross a road for example. A male may not realise why I do it. It's not a bad thing to have these discussions. We're all here to learn from each other. Arguing if me saying men is bad or not isn't helpful in my opinion. Especially when alternative phraseology is never given. Murderers, rapists and psychopaths are bad That’s the phrasing Did I say men who walk closely behind were any of these things? No. Stop and actually listen to the conversation ![]() ![]() Can you elaborate on that then instead of dismissing him? | |||
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"Why can't people just listen? Why can't I say when a man walks behind me at night I feel intimidated? Yes most men are harmless, but I don't know that individual is. It may not have occurred to said male if these kinds of conversations were taking place. So why detail everything saying not all men? Why not listen and learn and help make everyone feel safer? 100% People would rather feel insulted or shift the discussion or argue semantics, than actually address and engage in the discussion. We’re here arguing about men’s hurt feelings, rather than the actual issue That works both ways, the men should be listened to aswell. Yes of course it's ok to say you feel intimidated if you are walking alone at night. That doesn't mean that all men should cross the road to make you feel better, there has to be some kind of self responsibility of keeping yourself safe. If people rely on stuff like this, their guard will be dropped and that's when they are most likely to be unsafe. If I feel intimidated I will cross the road or make decisions about not being outside alone at night. It would be a great world if we all could just be safe but that's not the world we live in unfortunately. But that's the thing I already do cross a road for example. A male may not realise why I do it. It's not a bad thing to have these discussions. We're all here to learn from each other. Arguing if me saying men is bad or not isn't helpful in my opinion. Especially when alternative phraseology is never given. Murderers, rapists and psychopaths are bad That’s the phrasing Did I say men who walk closely behind were any of these things? No. Stop and actually listen to the conversation ![]() ![]() What other metric do we go off though? Statistically he’s no threat to you. What’s the alternative? Personally I think everyone should have their head on swivel and be wary on anyone. And we should be asking the police and government why out streets aren’t safer. Instead of trying to label someone that isn’t a threat anyways | |||
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"Why can't people just listen? Why can't I say when a man walks behind me at night I feel intimidated? Yes most men are harmless, but I don't know that individual is. It may not have occurred to said male if these kinds of conversations were taking place. So why detail everything saying not all men? Why not listen and learn and help make everyone feel safer? 100% People would rather feel insulted or shift the discussion or argue semantics, than actually address and engage in the discussion. We’re here arguing about men’s hurt feelings, rather than the actual issue That works both ways, the men should be listened to aswell. Yes of course it's ok to say you feel intimidated if you are walking alone at night. That doesn't mean that all men should cross the road to make you feel better, there has to be some kind of self responsibility of keeping yourself safe. If people rely on stuff like this, their guard will be dropped and that's when they are most likely to be unsafe. If I feel intimidated I will cross the road or make decisions about not being outside alone at night. It would be a great world if we all could just be safe but that's not the world we live in unfortunately. But that's the thing I already do cross a road for example. A male may not realise why I do it. It's not a bad thing to have these discussions. We're all here to learn from each other. Arguing if me saying men is bad or not isn't helpful in my opinion. Especially when alternative phraseology is never given. Murderers, rapists and psychopaths are bad That’s the phrasing Did I say men who walk closely behind were any of these things? No. Stop and actually listen to the conversation ![]() ![]() Stop trying to add reason and common sense into it ![]() | |||
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"Why can't people just listen? Why can't I say when a man walks behind me at night I feel intimidated? Yes most men are harmless, but I don't know that individual is. It may not have occurred to said male if these kinds of conversations were taking place. So why detail everything saying not all men? Why not listen and learn and help make everyone feel safer? 100% People would rather feel insulted or shift the discussion or argue semantics, than actually address and engage in the discussion. We’re here arguing about men’s hurt feelings, rather than the actual issue That works both ways, the men should be listened to aswell. Yes of course it's ok to say you feel intimidated if you are walking alone at night. That doesn't mean that all men should cross the road to make you feel better, there has to be some kind of self responsibility of keeping yourself safe. If people rely on stuff like this, their guard will be dropped and that's when they are most likely to be unsafe. If I feel intimidated I will cross the road or make decisions about not being outside alone at night. It would be a great world if we all could just be safe but that's not the world we live in unfortunately. But that's the thing I already do cross a road for example. A male may not realise why I do it. It's not a bad thing to have these discussions. We're all here to learn from each other. Arguing if me saying men is bad or not isn't helpful in my opinion. Especially when alternative phraseology is never given. Murderers, rapists and psychopaths are bad That’s the phrasing Did I say men who walk closely behind were any of these things? No. Stop and actually listen to the conversation ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Is this what men say when it most definitely applies to them ? No. It's a misandric trope. It's 2021, and people are STILL stereotyping a majority based on the actions of a small minority. What next? Not all blacks? Not all Muslims? Not all women? Not all gays? Not all trans? Think about how offensive that is for all those groups. Why is it less offensive to say all men and make fun of it. Utterly, utterly disgusting sexist behaviour. " Hmmmmm not misandric - quite the opposite. It's not helping any cause much. | |||
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"Why can't people just listen? Why can't I say when a man walks behind me at night I feel intimidated? Yes most men are harmless, but I don't know that individual is. It may not have occurred to said male if these kinds of conversations were taking place. So why detail everything saying not all men? Why not listen and learn and help make everyone feel safer? 100% People would rather feel insulted or shift the discussion or argue semantics, than actually address and engage in the discussion. We’re here arguing about men’s hurt feelings, rather than the actual issue That works both ways, the men should be listened to aswell. Yes of course it's ok to say you feel intimidated if you are walking alone at night. That doesn't mean that all men should cross the road to make you feel better, there has to be some kind of self responsibility of keeping yourself safe. If people rely on stuff like this, their guard will be dropped and that's when they are most likely to be unsafe. If I feel intimidated I will cross the road or make decisions about not being outside alone at night. It would be a great world if we all could just be safe but that's not the world we live in unfortunately. But that's the thing I already do cross a road for example. A male may not realise why I do it. It's not a bad thing to have these discussions. We're all here to learn from each other. Arguing if me saying men is bad or not isn't helpful in my opinion. Especially when alternative phraseology is never given. Murderers, rapists and psychopaths are bad That’s the phrasing Did I say men who walk closely behind were any of these things? No. Stop and actually listen to the conversation ![]() ![]() Repeatedly in my life I've been groped and deliberately intimidated by strangers so whatever statistics might say I'm still going to be wary of other strangers doing it too. | |||
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"Men get a tough time and they shouldn't be responsible for the minority. Yes there's shitty men but guess what there's shitty women too. There's shitty people in this world and no amount of campaigning will ever change that. You can educate people about what society expects of them but ultimately they are going to do what they wanna do ![]() Exactly | |||
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"I think that when people blame a whole group of society for the few bad apples, they lose credibility. Any decent human being knows right from wrong, but innocence by people have a clear conscience. This whole idea of blaming men for not policing other men is just as ridiculous as expecting women to do the same when women behave badly as highlighted in posts above. The misandry going round at the minute is unbelievable and I am not surprised by the amount of men who choose to have nothing to do with women these days. The world has never been more divided, whether it’s race, gender, wealth , political views or even what generation people were born in. It’s getting very tiresome. I think that you’re ignoring the depth of the problem and how it’s been dismissed for a very long time. I don’t think that it’s misandry I just think that it’s a rebalance of the misogyny that is ingrained into society. " for me the flaw with this is believing we only have a few bad apples, or that people know right from wrong when society and history has blurred what that line is its not just about the r*pists, murderers and psychopaths as thickasfuc wants to put it its about all the intimidating and derogatory and misogynistic behaviour that lies somewhere between ... its the fact society to a point still approves of this and writes it off as flirting or banter or at the very least not a big deal , so no many people behaving like this don’t even think they are wrong, but collectively they add to the environment where women don’t feel safe we don’t have a few bad apples that are responsible for 97% of women being sexually harassed at some point - thats a mostly rotten barrel, each apple tainted to greater or lesser extent sure, some of them even still perfect, but a few bad apples doesn’t accurately describe the problem | |||
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"I think that when people blame a whole group of society for the few bad apples, they lose credibility. Any decent human being knows right from wrong, but innocence by people have a clear conscience. This whole idea of blaming men for not policing other men is just as ridiculous as expecting women to do the same when women behave badly as highlighted in posts above. The misandry going round at the minute is unbelievable and I am not surprised by the amount of men who choose to have nothing to do with women these days. The world has never been more divided, whether it’s race, gender, wealth , political views or even what generation people were born in. It’s getting very tiresome. I think that you’re ignoring the depth of the problem and how it’s been dismissed for a very long time. I don’t think that it’s misandry I just think that it’s a rebalance of the misogyny that is ingrained into society. for me the flaw with this is believing we only have a few bad apples, or that people know right from wrong when society and history has blurred what that line is its not just about the r*pists, murderers and psychopaths as thickasfuc wants to put it its about all the intimidating and derogatory and misogynistic behaviour that lies somewhere between ... its the fact society to a point still approves of this and writes it off as flirting or banter or at the very least not a big deal , so no many people behaving like this don’t even think they are wrong, but collectively they add to the environment where women don’t feel safe we don’t have a few bad apples that are responsible for 97% of women being sexually harassed at some point - thats a mostly rotten barrel, each apple tainted to greater or lesser extent sure, some of them even still perfect, but a few bad apples doesn’t accurately describe the problem " Very well said ![]() | |||
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"Men get a tough time and they shouldn't be responsible for the minority. Yes there's shitty men but guess what there's shitty women too. There's shitty people in this world and no amount of campaigning will ever change that. You can educate people about what society expects of them but ultimately they are going to do what they wanna do ![]() Extremely simplistic and cynical. Many positive changes have been made in society. And they were made by people campaigning and protesting and educating. Sitting back and saying "well, some people suck, that's life" is just a way to wash your hands of any responsibility for any issues. | |||
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"I think that when people blame a whole group of society for the few bad apples, they lose credibility. Any decent human being knows right from wrong, but innocence by people have a clear conscience. This whole idea of blaming men for not policing other men is just as ridiculous as expecting women to do the same when women behave badly as highlighted in posts above. The misandry going round at the minute is unbelievable and I am not surprised by the amount of men who choose to have nothing to do with women these days. The world has never been more divided, whether it’s race, gender, wealth , political views or even what generation people were born in. It’s getting very tiresome. I think that you’re ignoring the depth of the problem and how it’s been dismissed for a very long time. I don’t think that it’s misandry I just think that it’s a rebalance of the misogyny that is ingrained into society. for me the flaw with this is believing we only have a few bad apples, or that people know right from wrong when society and history has blurred what that line is its not just about the r*pists, murderers and psychopaths as thickasfuc wants to put it its about all the intimidating and derogatory and misogynistic behaviour that lies somewhere between ... its the fact society to a point still approves of this and writes it off as flirting or banter or at the very least not a big deal , so no many people behaving like this don’t even think they are wrong, but collectively they add to the environment where women don’t feel safe we don’t have a few bad apples that are responsible for 97% of women being sexually harassed at some point - thats a mostly rotten barrel, each apple tainted to greater or lesser extent sure, some of them even still perfect, but a few bad apples doesn’t accurately describe the problem " 100% It’s dismissing the extent and depth of the issue because it makes people uncomfortable | |||
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"Sometimes but it's mostly an attempt to shut down the conversation because they believe that their discomfort at being part of a demographic where some are harming another is a bigger deal than the issue of the people being harmed. " Yes, yes, yes! This puts it better than I could. #notallmen has become like a red rag to a bull - people pile in talking about how men are getting picked on, whilst completely disregarding the issues the phrase arose from. As a diversionary and divisive tactic it's a masterstroke. "Look over here! Don't look at women speaking up about ingrained cultural misogyny!" It's not a matter of one thing being more or less important, it's a derailing of the subject. Mrs kf x | |||
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"‘Things need to change and there needs to be a culture shift around curbing male violence’ ‘Not all men are violent, how dare you be so sexist’ ‘No I’m saying there needs to be a change in soc-‘ ‘#notallmen! I have never harmed a women!, shower me in praise for never harming someone. The bar is in the floor I step over it and now I want to be told how amazing I am’ " ![]() | |||
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"It shouldnt just be aimed at men. Women abuse and harass too. I take my personel safety very seriously i walk with keys in hand cross the road if someone looks dodgy etc but cos im a man i dont get the same treatment as women. Sad really as regardless of gender lots of folk are afraid to walk the streets and take personel safety very seriously" Yes, they do, but by derailing the issue and making it all about men, it’s making you part of the problem. | |||
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"‘Things need to change and there needs to be a culture shift around curbing male violence’ ‘Not all men are violent, how dare you be so sexist’ ‘No I’m saying there needs to be a change in soc-‘ ‘#notallmen! I have never harmed a women!, shower me in praise for never harming someone. The bar is in the floor I step over it and now I want to be told how amazing I am’ " You hit the nail on the head again!!! ![]() | |||
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"It shouldnt just be aimed at men. Women abuse and harass too. I take my personel safety very seriously i walk with keys in hand cross the road if someone looks dodgy etc but cos im a man i dont get the same treatment as women. Sad really as regardless of gender lots of folk are afraid to walk the streets and take personel safety very seriously" yes some women do abuse and harass too, not at the same rate but it does happen, however thats not the discussion currently being had so again its just deflection from the issue at hand its like someone collecting for cancer at the supermarket door snd you shouting at them heart disease exists too honest question, when you walk the street with keys in your hand and are a little afraid, who do you worry might attack you, because if its men then it seems daft that you want to detract from a conversation that if it created a positive out come , it would also benefit you | |||
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"It shouldnt just be aimed at men. Women abuse and harass too. I take my personel safety very seriously i walk with keys in hand cross the road if someone looks dodgy etc but cos im a man i dont get the same treatment as women. Sad really as regardless of gender lots of folk are afraid to walk the streets and take personel safety very seriously yes some women do abuse and harass too, not at the same rate but it does happen, however thats not the discussion currently being had so again its just deflection from the issue at hand its like someone collecting for cancer at the supermarket door snd you shouting at them heart disease exists too honest question, when you walk the street with keys in your hand and are a little afraid, who do you worry might attack you, because if its men then it seems daft that you want to detract from a conversation that if it created a positive out come , it would also benefit you " If anybody, male or female carries keys in their hands with intent to cause injury to another then I am sorry but you are carrying an offensive weapon.. | |||
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"Blanketing any group of people is dangerous, including this. It creates the notion that all men can stop a minority. The truth is we can’t. Yes we can help educate those who are open to being educated, very possibly, but attackers, rapists, murderers? No chance. It won’t make a blind bit of difference. We need to stop this rhetoric and look at proper ways to deal with the issue that doesn’t look to pit all men against all women. Not all men are rapists / misogynistic. Not all men can solve the problem. All men can make sure they behave appropriately. That message isn’t clear when ‘all men’ are blanketed. Rant over" Absolutely hit the nail on the head | |||
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"It shouldnt just be aimed at men. Women abuse and harass too. I take my personel safety very seriously i walk with keys in hand cross the road if someone looks dodgy etc but cos im a man i dont get the same treatment as women. Sad really as regardless of gender lots of folk are afraid to walk the streets and take personel safety very seriously yes some women do abuse and harass too, not at the same rate but it does happen, however thats not the discussion currently being had so again its just deflection from the issue at hand its like someone collecting for cancer at the supermarket door snd you shouting at them heart disease exists too honest question, when you walk the street with keys in your hand and are a little afraid, who do you worry might attack you, because if its men then it seems daft that you want to detract from a conversation that if it created a positive out come , it would also benefit you " Joe Rogan talks about something like this in his comedy, where ‘men’s rights’ people are shouting how men get ra*ed too... to which he says yea by other men you dumb fuck! Again not all incidents are by men, but a lot are lol | |||
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"It shouldnt just be aimed at men. Women abuse and harass too. I take my personel safety very seriously i walk with keys in hand cross the road if someone looks dodgy etc but cos im a man i dont get the same treatment as women. Sad really as regardless of gender lots of folk are afraid to walk the streets and take personel safety very seriously yes some women do abuse and harass too, not at the same rate but it does happen, however thats not the discussion currently being had so again its just deflection from the issue at hand its like someone collecting for cancer at the supermarket door snd you shouting at them heart disease exists too honest question, when you walk the street with keys in your hand and are a little afraid, who do you worry might attack you, because if its men then it seems daft that you want to detract from a conversation that if it created a positive out come , it would also benefit you " I take my personel safety very seriously so im weary of all strangers at night regardless of gender because i know idiots come in all forms. | |||
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"It shouldnt just be aimed at men. Women abuse and harass too. I take my personel safety very seriously i walk with keys in hand cross the road if someone looks dodgy etc but cos im a man i dont get the same treatment as women. Sad really as regardless of gender lots of folk are afraid to walk the streets and take personel safety very seriously yes some women do abuse and harass too, not at the same rate but it does happen, however thats not the discussion currently being had so again its just deflection from the issue at hand its like someone collecting for cancer at the supermarket door snd you shouting at them heart disease exists too honest question, when you walk the street with keys in your hand and are a little afraid, who do you worry might attack you, because if its men then it seems daft that you want to detract from a conversation that if it created a positive out come , it would also benefit you If anybody, male or female carries keys in their hands with intent to cause injury to another then I am sorry but you are carrying an offensive weapon.." You will find men and women do this for self defence and as a last resort to use if you were to be attacked. They DONT go out with the intention to harm anyone as a law abiding citizean | |||
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"It shouldnt just be aimed at men. Women abuse and harass too. I take my personel safety very seriously i walk with keys in hand cross the road if someone looks dodgy etc but cos im a man i dont get the same treatment as women. Sad really as regardless of gender lots of folk are afraid to walk the streets and take personel safety very seriously yes some women do abuse and harass too, not at the same rate but it does happen, however thats not the discussion currently being had so again its just deflection from the issue at hand its like someone collecting for cancer at the supermarket door snd you shouting at them heart disease exists too honest question, when you walk the street with keys in your hand and are a little afraid, who do you worry might attack you, because if its men then it seems daft that you want to detract from a conversation that if it created a positive out come , it would also benefit you If anybody, male or female carries keys in their hands with intent to cause injury to another then I am sorry but you are carrying an offensive weapon.. You will find men and women do this for self defence and as a last resort to use if you were to be attacked. They DONT go out with the intention to harm anyone as a law abiding citizean" Tell it to the judge ... | |||
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"It shouldnt just be aimed at men. Women abuse and harass too. I take my personel safety very seriously i walk with keys in hand cross the road if someone looks dodgy etc but cos im a man i dont get the same treatment as women. Sad really as regardless of gender lots of folk are afraid to walk the streets and take personel safety very seriously yes some women do abuse and harass too, not at the same rate but it does happen, however thats not the discussion currently being had so again its just deflection from the issue at hand its like someone collecting for cancer at the supermarket door snd you shouting at them heart disease exists too honest question, when you walk the street with keys in your hand and are a little afraid, who do you worry might attack you, because if its men then it seems daft that you want to detract from a conversation that if it created a positive out come , it would also benefit you If anybody, male or female carries keys in their hands with intent to cause injury to another then I am sorry but you are carrying an offensive weapon.. You will find men and women do this for self defence and as a last resort to use if you were to be attacked. They DONT go out with the intention to harm anyone as a law abiding citizean" If the keys are between your knuckles then try proving there is no intent.. good luck with that one.. | |||
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"It shouldnt just be aimed at men. Women abuse and harass too. I take my personel safety very seriously i walk with keys in hand cross the road if someone looks dodgy etc but cos im a man i dont get the same treatment as women. Sad really as regardless of gender lots of folk are afraid to walk the streets and take personel safety very seriously yes some women do abuse and harass too, not at the same rate but it does happen, however thats not the discussion currently being had so again its just deflection from the issue at hand its like someone collecting for cancer at the supermarket door snd you shouting at them heart disease exists too honest question, when you walk the street with keys in your hand and are a little afraid, who do you worry might attack you, because if its men then it seems daft that you want to detract from a conversation that if it created a positive out come , it would also benefit you If anybody, male or female carries keys in their hands with intent to cause injury to another then I am sorry but you are carrying an offensive weapon.. You will find men and women do this for self defence and as a last resort to use if you were to be attacked. They DONT go out with the intention to harm anyone as a law abiding citizean If the keys are between your knuckles then try proving there is no intent.. good luck with that one.. " Keys used in this way are for self defence and if this ever made it to court then they are seen as a weapon of offence only and the circumstances would be taken I to account as to why they were used and held in this way. It is absolutely not the same as going equipped with say a knife which is an offensive weapon which would then be seen as going with intent to harm. Very different scenarios indeed and any judge would see it that way. To argue that a normally innocent item is classed as the same as an offensive weapon is sheer stupidity, to profess they are the same is you spoiling for an argument. | |||
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"It’s true that #notallmen harm women,’ Jameela Jamil posted to Instagram. ‘But do all men work to make sure their fellow men do not harm women? Do they interrupt troubling language and behavior in others? Do they have conversations about women’s safety/consent with their sons? Are #allmen interested in our safety? ‘You don’t get to exclude yourself from the wrong side unless you’re actively fighting on the right side.’ I tried to explain it, but my worms are loose in my head, and this does it better." if I ever saw a woman being mistreated I'd step in so.... | |||
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"Its human nature to be defensive. No one wants to be associated with the worst behaviours of their gender, class, religion, sport, social club. And obviously the people who perpetrate the bad behaviour dont want to be associated with the bad behaviour. That's also human nature. And guess what. It's also human nature to lump groups of people together because that way you are protecting yourself more efficiently. So women who have had bad experiences lump all men together even though they dont actually mean all men. And men will always complain about all women being such and such even though they dont mean every woman. This is and always has been human nature. The only way out is for us to all realise that a) they are not talking about me so it's ok and b) if they exclude me for other peoples behaviour then the loss is theirs. And c) they them excluding you is self protection and everyone needs to feel safe in order to feel happy" i agree with alot of this , but i think the disassociation goes even further than you describe, people don’t even want to realise that they know these men, that the misogynistic behaviour is being perpetuated by their sons, brothers, husbands, fathers, mates, work colleagues and in some cases its even those folk doing the attacks these people are not born monsters and ostracised from society creeping out of the shadows now and again to harass someone then creeping back , loads of it is happening openly in front of people but society has a blurred line of what language and behaviour is and is not acceptable so it happens right in front of our faces and is passed off as banter , or just hitting on someone , being overly flirty, just a joke. when it comes to entirely legitimate behaviour that inadvertently might make a woman feel unsafe that knowledge is even less known by disassociating these people and behaviours in our head it creates an us and them , the them are demonised , and it makes it that much harder to recognise the behaviour in our peers because that guy you know “couldn’t possibly be one of them, he can be a bit cheeky sometimes but never as bad as all that” categorising a person as bad is much harder than recognising some of their behaviour is bad and thats why changing to story to “r*pists, monsters, misogynists, attackers are bad” doesn’t work because not only does nobody want to recognise any of that behaviour in themselves, they also dont want to admit to seeing it in friends so it gets downplayed even further we need to normalise having conversations with our friends and family about how what behaviour is acceptable has now shifted, without it being interpreted as an attack, we don’t care about the past, we care about the present and the future, we aren’t calling you a monster we are just pointing out that what you just did there is not appropriate in 2021 ... and slowly over time the actions of society changes, and not all men becomes very few men because the “monsters” no longer have a safe space to show their true colours | |||
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"It shouldnt just be aimed at men. Women abuse and harass too. I take my personel safety very seriously i walk with keys in hand cross the road if someone looks dodgy etc but cos im a man i dont get the same treatment as women. Sad really as regardless of gender lots of folk are afraid to walk the streets and take personel safety very seriously yes some women do abuse and harass too, not at the same rate but it does happen, however thats not the discussion currently being had so again its just deflection from the issue at hand its like someone collecting for cancer at the supermarket door snd you shouting at them heart disease exists too honest question, when you walk the street with keys in your hand and are a little afraid, who do you worry might attack you, because if its men then it seems daft that you want to detract from a conversation that if it created a positive out come , it would also benefit you If anybody, male or female carries keys in their hands with intent to cause injury to another then I am sorry but you are carrying an offensive weapon.. You will find men and women do this for self defence and as a last resort to use if you were to be attacked. They DONT go out with the intention to harm anyone as a law abiding citizean If the keys are between your knuckles then try proving there is no intent.. good luck with that one.. Keys used in this way are for self defence and if this ever made it to court then they are seen as a weapon of offence only and the circumstances would be taken I to account as to why they were used and held in this way. It is absolutely not the same as going equipped with say a knife which is an offensive weapon which would then be seen as going with intent to harm. Very different scenarios indeed and any judge would see it that way. To argue that a normally innocent item is classed as the same as an offensive weapon is sheer stupidity, to profess they are the same is you spoiling for an argument." No. But I know the law | |||
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"It’s true that #notallmen harm women,’ Jameela Jamil posted to Instagram. ‘But do all men work to make sure their fellow men do not harm women? Do they interrupt troubling language and behavior in others? Do they have conversations about women’s safety/consent with their sons? Are #allmen interested in our safety? ‘You don’t get to exclude yourself from the wrong side unless you’re actively fighting on the right side.’ I tried to explain it, but my worms are loose in my head, and this does it better.if I ever saw a woman being mistreated I'd step in so...." Yep and often the man and the woman both turn on the rescuer.. seen it many times.. | |||
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"Its human nature to be defensive. No one wants to be associated with the worst behaviours of their gender, class, religion, sport, social club. And obviously the people who perpetrate the bad behaviour dont want to be associated with the bad behaviour. That's also human nature. And guess what. It's also human nature to lump groups of people together because that way you are protecting yourself more efficiently. So women who have had bad experiences lump all men together even though they dont actually mean all men. And men will always complain about all women being such and such even though they dont mean every woman. This is and always has been human nature. The only way out is for us to all realise that a) they are not talking about me so it's ok and b) if they exclude me for other peoples behaviour then the loss is theirs. And c) they them excluding you is self protection and everyone needs to feel safe in order to feel happy i agree with alot of this , but i think the disassociation goes even further than you describe, people don’t even want to realise that they know these men, that the misogynistic behaviour is being perpetuated by their sons, brothers, husbands, fathers, mates, work colleagues and in some cases its even those folk doing the attacks these people are not born monsters and ostracised from society creeping out of the shadows now and again to harass someone then creeping back , loads of it is happening openly in front of people but society has a blurred line of what language and behaviour is and is not acceptable so it happens right in front of our faces and is passed off as banter , or just hitting on someone , being overly flirty, just a joke. when it comes to entirely legitimate behaviour that inadvertently might make a woman feel unsafe that knowledge is even less known by disassociating these people and behaviours in our head it creates an us and them , the them are demonised , and it makes it that much harder to recognise the behaviour in our peers because that guy you know “couldn’t possibly be one of them, he can be a bit cheeky sometimes but never as bad as all that” categorising a person as bad is much harder than recognising some of their behaviour is bad and thats why changing to story to “r*pists, monsters, misogynists, attackers are bad” doesn’t work because not only does nobody want to recognise any of that behaviour in themselves, they also dont want to admit to seeing it in friends so it gets downplayed even further we need to normalise having conversations with our friends and family about how what behaviour is acceptable has now shifted, without it being interpreted as an attack, we don’t care about the past, we care about the present and the future, we aren’t calling you a monster we are just pointing out that what you just did there is not appropriate in 2021 ... and slowly over time the actions of society changes, and not all men becomes very few men because the “monsters” no longer have a safe space to show their true colours " Society and cultures have values that flow back and forth like the tides, always changing, always evolving and sometimes you get your feet wet.. | |||
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"It’s true that #notallmen harm women,’ Jameela Jamil posted to Instagram. ‘But do all men work to make sure their fellow men do not harm women? Do they interrupt troubling language and behavior in others? Do they have conversations about women’s safety/consent with their sons? Are #allmen interested in our safety? ‘You don’t get to exclude yourself from the wrong side unless you’re actively fighting on the right side.’ I tried to explain it, but my worms are loose in my head, and this does it better.if I ever saw a woman being mistreated I'd step in so.... Yep and often the man and the woman both turn on the rescuer.. seen it many times.." i think this is partly where the problem lies, stepping in when you see bad behaviour people jump in their head to stopping someone being attacked, we aren’t looking for this kind of heroics, don’t put yourself in danger, you see that and you call the police its much much smaller people are asking for , if you are walking on a dark street right behind a woman and you sense she is nervous, cross the road or let her know you are going to pass in front of her , if you hear your buddy in the pub saying stuff he shouldn’t don’t laugh or just stay quiet, say hey mate thats not funny, if your son is being a bit of a dick to women, don’t clap him on the back and say boys will be boys while in the same breath you would want to beat up your daughters boyfriend for the same actions - talk to him and teach him better | |||
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" Society and cultures have values that flow back and forth like the tides, always changing, always evolving and sometimes you get your feet wet.. " i have literally no idea what that means in this context- if its just accept sometimes culture wont go your way then no i disagree, its not a tide that we have no control over , as acollective we absolutely can influence it - time to build a dam | |||
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"It’s true that #notallmen harm women,’ Jameela Jamil posted to Instagram. ‘But do all men work to make sure their fellow men do not harm women? Do they interrupt troubling language and behavior in others? Do they have conversations about women’s safety/consent with their sons? Are #allmen interested in our safety? ‘You don’t get to exclude yourself from the wrong side unless you’re actively fighting on the right side.’ I tried to explain it, but my worms are loose in my head, and this does it better.if I ever saw a woman being mistreated I'd step in so...." Acting the tough guy will land you in trouble and they could turn on you. Unless you can step in to difuse the situation without your size 10's and violence then you should just call the police. | |||
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"Its human nature to be defensive. No one wants to be associated with the worst behaviours of their gender, class, religion, sport, social club. And obviously the people who perpetrate the bad behaviour dont want to be associated with the bad behaviour. That's also human nature. And guess what. It's also human nature to lump groups of people together because that way you are protecting yourself more efficiently. So women who have had bad experiences lump all men together even though they dont actually mean all men. And men will always complain about all women being such and such even though they dont mean every woman. This is and always has been human nature. The only way out is for us to all realise that a) they are not talking about me so it's ok and b) if they exclude me for other peoples behaviour then the loss is theirs. And c) they them excluding you is self protection and everyone needs to feel safe in order to feel happy i agree with alot of this , but i think the disassociation goes even further than you describe, people don’t even want to realise that they know these men, that the misogynistic behaviour is being perpetuated by their sons, brothers, husbands, fathers, mates, work colleagues and in some cases its even those folk doing the attacks these people are not born monsters and ostracised from society creeping out of the shadows now and again to harass someone then creeping back , loads of it is happening openly in front of people but society has a blurred line of what language and behaviour is and is not acceptable so it happens right in front of our faces and is passed off as banter , or just hitting on someone , being overly flirty, just a joke. when it comes to entirely legitimate behaviour that inadvertently might make a woman feel unsafe that knowledge is even less known by disassociating these people and behaviours in our head it creates an us and them , the them are demonised , and it makes it that much harder to recognise the behaviour in our peers because that guy you know “couldn’t possibly be one of them, he can be a bit cheeky sometimes but never as bad as all that” categorising a person as bad is much harder than recognising some of their behaviour is bad and thats why changing to story to “r*pists, monsters, misogynists, attackers are bad” doesn’t work because not only does nobody want to recognise any of that behaviour in themselves, they also dont want to admit to seeing it in friends so it gets downplayed even further we need to normalise having conversations with our friends and family about how what behaviour is acceptable has now shifted, without it being interpreted as an attack, we don’t care about the past, we care about the present and the future, we aren’t calling you a monster we are just pointing out that what you just did there is not appropriate in 2021 ... and slowly over time the actions of society changes, and not all men becomes very few men because the “monsters” no longer have a safe space to show their true colours " This is so true. They even did a study on it and found that very few people would identify themselves as a r*pist, even in an anonymous survey but if they rephrased the question to describe examples of r*pe without actually using the word that significantly more people answered to say they had done it. Most r*pists don't know they're r*pists. I'd put money on it that mine doesn't think he is even though I said no and he pinned me down and forced me. I'm pretty sure that because we were dating he doesn't think of it in that way. | |||
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"Its human nature to be defensive. No one wants to be associated with the worst behaviours of their gender, class, religion, sport, social club. And obviously the people who perpetrate the bad behaviour dont want to be associated with the bad behaviour. That's also human nature. And guess what. It's also human nature to lump groups of people together because that way you are protecting yourself more efficiently. So women who have had bad experiences lump all men together even though they dont actually mean all men. And men will always complain about all women being such and such even though they dont mean every woman. This is and always has been human nature. The only way out is for us to all realise that a) they are not talking about me so it's ok and b) if they exclude me for other peoples behaviour then the loss is theirs. And c) they them excluding you is self protection and everyone needs to feel safe in order to feel happy i agree with alot of this , but i think the disassociation goes even further than you describe, people don’t even want to realise that they know these men, that the misogynistic behaviour is being perpetuated by their sons, brothers, husbands, fathers, mates, work colleagues and in some cases its even those folk doing the attacks these people are not born monsters and ostracised from society creeping out of the shadows now and again to harass someone then creeping back , loads of it is happening openly in front of people but society has a blurred line of what language and behaviour is and is not acceptable so it happens right in front of our faces and is passed off as banter , or just hitting on someone , being overly flirty, just a joke. when it comes to entirely legitimate behaviour that inadvertently might make a woman feel unsafe that knowledge is even less known by disassociating these people and behaviours in our head it creates an us and them , the them are demonised , and it makes it that much harder to recognise the behaviour in our peers because that guy you know “couldn’t possibly be one of them, he can be a bit cheeky sometimes but never as bad as all that” categorising a person as bad is much harder than recognising some of their behaviour is bad and thats why changing to story to “r*pists, monsters, misogynists, attackers are bad” doesn’t work because not only does nobody want to recognise any of that behaviour in themselves, they also dont want to admit to seeing it in friends so it gets downplayed even further we need to normalise having conversations with our friends and family about how what behaviour is acceptable has now shifted, without it being interpreted as an attack, we don’t care about the past, we care about the present and the future, we aren’t calling you a monster we are just pointing out that what you just did there is not appropriate in 2021 ... and slowly over time the actions of society changes, and not all men becomes very few men because the “monsters” no longer have a safe space to show their true colours " I agree. To pick an easy example of how things can change. I was abused by a priest in the 80s. It's a harder conversation to have with people because makes people uncomfortable. And if you dig down into any conversation and try to find out how they got away with this, ultimately you get to the point where it was a society wide problem. The abusers were to blame. The church who enabled them, the lay people who pretended they didnt see things helped perpetuate the cycle, the police who didnt protected the kids, the parishioners who knew priests could be brutal but didnt do anything to stand up, the government who didnt do their job .... they all take a share of blame. But things have changed. Culturally things have changed. But you made your points very well | |||
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" Society and cultures have values that flow back and forth like the tides, always changing, always evolving and sometimes you get your feet wet.. i have literally no idea what that means in this context- if its just accept sometimes culture wont go your way then no i disagree, its not a tide that we have no control over , as acollective we absolutely can influence it - time to build a dam" Good luck with that one. I will stick to my sharks and crocodiles.. #notme | |||
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"Its human nature to be defensive. No one wants to be associated with the worst behaviours of their gender, class, religion, sport, social club. And obviously the people who perpetrate the bad behaviour dont want to be associated with the bad behaviour. That's also human nature. And guess what. It's also human nature to lump groups of people together because that way you are protecting yourself more efficiently. So women who have had bad experiences lump all men together even though they dont actually mean all men. And men will always complain about all women being such and such even though they dont mean every woman. This is and always has been human nature. The only way out is for us to all realise that a) they are not talking about me so it's ok and b) if they exclude me for other peoples behaviour then the loss is theirs. And c) they them excluding you is self protection and everyone needs to feel safe in order to feel happy i agree with alot of this , but i think the disassociation goes even further than you describe, people don’t even want to realise that they know these men, that the misogynistic behaviour is being perpetuated by their sons, brothers, husbands, fathers, mates, work colleagues and in some cases its even those folk doing the attacks these people are not born monsters and ostracised from society creeping out of the shadows now and again to harass someone then creeping back , loads of it is happening openly in front of people but society has a blurred line of what language and behaviour is and is not acceptable so it happens right in front of our faces and is passed off as banter , or just hitting on someone , being overly flirty, just a joke. when it comes to entirely legitimate behaviour that inadvertently might make a woman feel unsafe that knowledge is even less known by disassociating these people and behaviours in our head it creates an us and them , the them are demonised , and it makes it that much harder to recognise the behaviour in our peers because that guy you know “couldn’t possibly be one of them, he can be a bit cheeky sometimes but never as bad as all that” categorising a person as bad is much harder than recognising some of their behaviour is bad and thats why changing to story to “r*pists, monsters, misogynists, attackers are bad” doesn’t work because not only does nobody want to recognise any of that behaviour in themselves, they also dont want to admit to seeing it in friends so it gets downplayed even further we need to normalise having conversations with our friends and family about how what behaviour is acceptable has now shifted, without it being interpreted as an attack, we don’t care about the past, we care about the present and the future, we aren’t calling you a monster we are just pointing out that what you just did there is not appropriate in 2021 ... and slowly over time the actions of society changes, and not all men becomes very few men because the “monsters” no longer have a safe space to show their true colours This is so true. They even did a study on it and found that very few people would identify themselves as a r*pist, even in an anonymous survey but if they rephrased the question to describe examples of r*pe without actually using the word that significantly more people answered to say they had done it. Most r*pists don't know they're r*pists. I'd put money on it that mine doesn't think he is even though I said no and he pinned me down and forced me. I'm pretty sure that because we were dating he doesn't think of it in that way. " I’m so sorry ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I’m so sorry ![]() ![]() I'm sorry that you have had to deal with this too. Or that anyone has. I'm trying to find a balance between self care and talking about it to help shine a light on things. Obviously there is vulnerability when this happens to you and even saying that we have experienced this, we leave ourselves open to pain. But the fact that I know I'm not alone is a comfort so thank you | |||
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"But all thought provoking nevertheless.. I won't use #notallmen Will just use #notme" what i wonder is , if it’s not you and you can accept it’s not you people are talking about, and at the same time you don’t want to be part of a solution for anyone else and would rather as you say stick to your crocodiles and sharks ... why even drop in with #notme what has that achieved, except detract from the point just as much as #notallmen | |||
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"It shouldnt just be aimed at men. Women abuse and harass too. I take my personel safety very seriously i walk with keys in hand cross the road if someone looks dodgy etc but cos im a man i dont get the same treatment as women. Sad really as regardless of gender lots of folk are afraid to walk the streets and take personel safety very seriously yes some women do abuse and harass too, not at the same rate but it does happen, however thats not the discussion currently being had so again its just deflection from the issue at hand its like someone collecting for cancer at the supermarket door snd you shouting at them heart disease exists too honest question, when you walk the street with keys in your hand and are a little afraid, who do you worry might attack you, because if its men then it seems daft that you want to detract from a conversation that if it created a positive out come , it would also benefit you If anybody, male or female carries keys in their hands with intent to cause injury to another then I am sorry but you are carrying an offensive weapon.. You will find men and women do this for self defence and as a last resort to use if you were to be attacked. They DONT go out with the intention to harm anyone as a law abiding citizean If the keys are between your knuckles then try proving there is no intent.. good luck with that one.. Keys used in this way are for self defence and if this ever made it to court then they are seen as a weapon of offence only and the circumstances would be taken I to account as to why they were used and held in this way. It is absolutely not the same as going equipped with say a knife which is an offensive weapon which would then be seen as going with intent to harm. Very different scenarios indeed and any judge would see it that way. To argue that a normally innocent item is classed as the same as an offensive weapon is sheer stupidity, to profess they are the same is you spoiling for an argument. No. But I know the law" Clearly not....you are able to use anything to hand even if it is on your hand for self defence and a key would be just such an item. If you used it to attack then that would be another matter entirely. To even hint that holding an item in preparedness for self defence would be seen as going with intent to harm then you are very much mistaken. Any item used in self defence is not seen as an offensive weapon unless it is used to attack in the first instance and as long as the defence is in proportion to the attack. Would you tell your daughter who when walking through a known bad area not to hold a key in her hand 'just in case' and that it is better to wait until attacked to finally get it out of her bag or would you tell her to be prepared. Law is often shrouded in common sense too. | |||
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"But all thought provoking nevertheless.. I won't use #notallmen Will just use #notme" It's a mess tom. You are not responsible for all mens behaviour. And you dont represent all men. It's not wrong of you to defend yourself from accusations but dont get into what about ism. The internet is full of people who defend themselves by attacking the other side. And that's not healthy | |||
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"It shouldnt just be aimed at men. Women abuse and harass too. I take my personel safety very seriously i walk with keys in hand cross the road if someone looks dodgy etc but cos im a man i dont get the same treatment as women. Sad really as regardless of gender lots of folk are afraid to walk the streets and take personel safety very seriously yes some women do abuse and harass too, not at the same rate but it does happen, however thats not the discussion currently being had so again its just deflection from the issue at hand its like someone collecting for cancer at the supermarket door snd you shouting at them heart disease exists too honest question, when you walk the street with keys in your hand and are a little afraid, who do you worry might attack you, because if its men then it seems daft that you want to detract from a conversation that if it created a positive out come , it would also benefit you If anybody, male or female carries keys in their hands with intent to cause injury to another then I am sorry but you are carrying an offensive weapon.. You will find men and women do this for self defence and as a last resort to use if you were to be attacked. They DONT go out with the intention to harm anyone as a law abiding citizean If the keys are between your knuckles then try proving there is no intent.. good luck with that one.. Keys used in this way are for self defence and if this ever made it to court then they are seen as a weapon of offence only and the circumstances would be taken I to account as to why they were used and held in this way. It is absolutely not the same as going equipped with say a knife which is an offensive weapon which would then be seen as going with intent to harm. Very different scenarios indeed and any judge would see it that way. To argue that a normally innocent item is classed as the same as an offensive weapon is sheer stupidity, to profess they are the same is you spoiling for an argument. No. But I know the law Clearly not....you are able to use anything to hand even if it is on your hand for self defence and a key would be just such an item. If you used it to attack then that would be another matter entirely. To even hint that holding an item in preparedness for self defence would be seen as going with intent to harm then you are very much mistaken. Any item used in self defence is not seen as an offensive weapon unless it is used to attack in the first instance and as long as the defence is in proportion to the attack. Would you tell your daughter who when walking through a known bad area not to hold a key in her hand 'just in case' and that it is better to wait until attacked to finally get it out of her bag or would you tell her to be prepared. Law is often shrouded in common sense too." Interesting to see how this thread about gender politics and derailing tactics has been derailed | |||
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"It shouldnt just be aimed at men. Women abuse and harass too. I take my personel safety very seriously i walk with keys in hand cross the road if someone looks dodgy etc but cos im a man i dont get the same treatment as women. Sad really as regardless of gender lots of folk are afraid to walk the streets and take personel safety very seriously yes some women do abuse and harass too, not at the same rate but it does happen, however thats not the discussion currently being had so again its just deflection from the issue at hand its like someone collecting for cancer at the supermarket door snd you shouting at them heart disease exists too honest question, when you walk the street with keys in your hand and are a little afraid, who do you worry might attack you, because if its men then it seems daft that you want to detract from a conversation that if it created a positive out come , it would also benefit you If anybody, male or female carries keys in their hands with intent to cause injury to another then I am sorry but you are carrying an offensive weapon.. You will find men and women do this for self defence and as a last resort to use if you were to be attacked. They DONT go out with the intention to harm anyone as a law abiding citizean If the keys are between your knuckles then try proving there is no intent.. good luck with that one.. Keys used in this way are for self defence and if this ever made it to court then they are seen as a weapon of offence only and the circumstances would be taken I to account as to why they were used and held in this way. It is absolutely not the same as going equipped with say a knife which is an offensive weapon which would then be seen as going with intent to harm. Very different scenarios indeed and any judge would see it that way. To argue that a normally innocent item is classed as the same as an offensive weapon is sheer stupidity, to profess they are the same is you spoiling for an argument. No. But I know the law Clearly not....you are able to use anything to hand even if it is on your hand for self defence and a key would be just such an item. If you used it to attack then that would be another matter entirely. To even hint that holding an item in preparedness for self defence would be seen as going with intent to harm then you are very much mistaken. Any item used in self defence is not seen as an offensive weapon unless it is used to attack in the first instance and as long as the defence is in proportion to the attack. Would you tell your daughter who when walking through a known bad area not to hold a key in her hand 'just in case' and that it is better to wait until attacked to finally get it out of her bag or would you tell her to be prepared. Law is often shrouded in common sense too." Tell that one to the judge too.. | |||
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"But all thought provoking nevertheless.. I won't use #notallmen Will just use #notme It's a mess tom. You are not responsible for all mens behaviour. And you dont represent all men. It's not wrong of you to defend yourself from accusations but dont get into what about ism. The internet is full of people who defend themselves by attacking the other side. And that's not healthy" I attack nobody. But I know a witch hut when I see one however many witches there are | |||
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"But all thought provoking nevertheless.. I won't use #notallmen Will just use #notme what i wonder is , if it’s not you and you can accept it’s not you people are talking about, and at the same time you don’t want to be part of a solution for anyone else and would rather as you say stick to your crocodiles and sharks ... why even drop in with #notme what has that achieved, except detract from the point just as much as #notallmen " to expand on this ... if there was a robbery in the local area and you didn’t do it, and you had no useful information on it ... it would be considered silly and a waste of time to pop down the police station and say btw i know you weren’t suggesting it was me and it wasn’t me but here is my alibi anyway and oh no i don’t have any information to help you solve it either but in the same vein #notallmen and #notme seem like a totally normal thing to do if its not you and you don’t want to get involved that is 100% your prerogative , but maybe just leave the people that do want to do something about it, to get on with that then | |||
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"But all thought provoking nevertheless.. I won't use #notallmen Will just use #notme what i wonder is , if it’s not you and you can accept it’s not you people are talking about, and at the same time you don’t want to be part of a solution for anyone else and would rather as you say stick to your crocodiles and sharks ... why even drop in with #notme what has that achieved, except detract from the point just as much as #notallmen " I don’t understand, why would someone not want to be part of the solution? | |||
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