FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Weekend loneliness
Weekend loneliness
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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During the week I’m busy with work.
The weekends I feel so alone.
If you live on your own with little family and no one local how do you cope ?
Have another 3 days  . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's tough, you have my sympathy x
Just thinking the same here myself - how am I going to fill the next 3 days
Music calms me a lot, going to put that on whilst I potter about doing some house work
Have started doing meal prep in the weekend for work days, to make it easier to eat better |
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I have a dog. I'm willing to make new friends. I chat online. I have hobbies. I'm as happy walking in the mountains as I am sat by a lake. I enjoy my own company as much as other people's (I think, it's been a long while since I've been to a party).
You only get out what you put in to this life. No point being miserable at home, you might as well make a friend and be miserable together.  |
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I still find I like being by myself. Before I met my ex I was a loner and am going back into that with ease.
Lost in music, in films, in reading, in pottering about my house etc.
Sorry to hear that you are struggling. |
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By *odgerMan
over a year ago
Coventry(ish)London |
"During the week I’m busy with work.
The weekends I feel so alone.
If you live on your own with little family and no one local how do you cope ?
Have another 3 days . "
Well you won't meet anyone and block men so things aren't going to change anytime soon |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It's tough, you have my sympathy x
Just thinking the same here myself - how am I going to fill the next 3 days
Music calms me a lot, going to put that on whilst I potter about doing some house work
Have started doing meal prep in the weekend for work days, to make it easier to eat better"
My eating pattern is all over the place.
Can’t be arsed to cook so been eating quiche and salad for the last 3 days.
I need to kick myself up the arse !
Never felt so low. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"During the week I’m busy with work.
The weekends I feel so alone.
If you live on your own with little family and no one local how do you cope ?
Have another 3 days .
Well you won't meet anyone and block men so things aren't going to change anytime soon "
Because I don’t just want a shag ! The feeling is great when the meet goes well but the feeling of emptiness afterwards would make me feel worse |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I still find I like being by myself. Before I met my ex I was a loner and am going back into that with ease.
Lost in music, in films, in reading, in pottering about my house etc.
Sorry to hear that you are struggling. "
Thank you.
Always lived with a partner or house share. This is the first time on my own. Just need to learn to adapt. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's tough, you have my sympathy x
Just thinking the same here myself - how am I going to fill the next 3 days
Music calms me a lot, going to put that on whilst I potter about doing some house work
Have started doing meal prep in the weekend for work days, to make it easier to eat better
My eating pattern is all over the place.
Can’t be arsed to cook so been eating quiche and salad for the last 3 days.
I need to kick myself up the arse !
Never felt so low. "
Why not set that as a mission for yourself today? Go food shopping and cook yourself something decent
Be kind to yourself x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have a dog. I'm willing to make new friends. I chat online. I have hobbies. I'm as happy walking in the mountains as I am sat by a lake. I enjoy my own company as much as other people's (I think, it's been a long while since I've been to a party).
You only get out what you put in to this life. No point being miserable at home, you might as well make a friend and be miserable together. "
I’ve put my name down to do dog walking for those that can’t walk own dogs due to illness or the elderly. |
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By *tephanjMan
over a year ago
Kettering |
Think we all struggle a little being alone. I'm lucky I do have someone at home, but I work slot on my own like all this weekend and I feel very lonely and a little depressed. I doubt I will see anyone today until 18:30 when the night person takes over from me |
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By *odgerMan
over a year ago
Coventry(ish)London |
"It's tough, you have my sympathy x
Just thinking the same here myself - how am I going to fill the next 3 days
Music calms me a lot, going to put that on whilst I potter about doing some house work
Have started doing meal prep in the weekend for work days, to make it easier to eat better
My eating pattern is all over the place.
Can’t be arsed to cook so been eating quiche and salad for the last 3 days.
I need to kick myself up the arse !
Never felt so low.
Why not set that as a mission for yourself today? Go food shopping and cook yourself something decent
Be kind to yourself x"
Patronise patronise |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I still find I like being by myself. Before I met my ex I was a loner and am going back into that with ease.
Lost in music, in films, in reading, in pottering about my house etc.
Sorry to hear that you are struggling. "
I'm the same - I enjoy my own company and space and enjoy films etc .. walking with an audiobook , bike rides, cooking new recipes and shopping for the ingredients, projects around the house.
I have pangs of feeling lonely but they pass - I'm sending you hugs OP and hope you find your peace with your own company x
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"
I’ve put my name down to do dog walking for those that can’t walk own dogs due to illness or the elderly. "
That's a great idea. You'll meet new folks out in your walks too. I think that you're in a lull that's all.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you have a garden and the weather is nice get out in it and potter......or read or listen to music etc....."
No own garden. It’s shared.
My car has never been so clean though. It’s getting a wash and hoover every week |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's tough, you have my sympathy x
Just thinking the same here myself - how am I going to fill the next 3 days
Music calms me a lot, going to put that on whilst I potter about doing some house work
Have started doing meal prep in the weekend for work days, to make it easier to eat better
My eating pattern is all over the place.
Can’t be arsed to cook so been eating quiche and salad for the last 3 days.
I need to kick myself up the arse !
Never felt so low.
Why not set that as a mission for yourself today? Go food shopping and cook yourself something decent
Be kind to yourself x
Patronise patronise"
That is uncalled for. |
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By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
Im sorry you are struggling. I think a lot of people have fpund this second lockdown worse. Is there no one you could meet for a socially distnaced walk to break up the monotony of the weekend? |
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"I still find I like being by myself. Before I met my ex I was a loner and am going back into that with ease.
Lost in music, in films, in reading, in pottering about my house etc.
Sorry to hear that you are struggling.
I'm the same - I enjoy my own company and space and enjoy films etc .. walking with an audiobook , bike rides, cooking new recipes and shopping for the ingredients, projects around the house.
I have pangs of feeling lonely but they pass - I'm sending you hugs OP and hope you find your peace with your own company x
"
Yeah, I admit there are times when I miss the sharing aspect and intimacy of thing things just you two do, (not just sexual) but as you say they pass and I'm back again.  |
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By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
I also sometimes find it helpful if I can't focus on things to get a piece of paper amd write down everything thats going on inside my head. Like a decluttering.
Whether is feeling or uncertainties, what they are and why they are there.
Then write a list of things I'd like to do or achieve for the day/weekend/future to have some thing to try and focus on. Not that that is always easy  |
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By *odgerMan
over a year ago
Coventry(ish)London |
"It's tough, you have my sympathy x
Just thinking the same here myself - how am I going to fill the next 3 days
Music calms me a lot, going to put that on whilst I potter about doing some house work
Have started doing meal prep in the weekend for work days, to make it easier to eat better
My eating pattern is all over the place.
Can’t be arsed to cook so been eating quiche and salad for the last 3 days.
I need to kick myself up the arse !
Never felt so low.
Why not set that as a mission for yourself today? Go food shopping and cook yourself something decent
Be kind to yourself x
Patronise patronise
That is uncalled for."
Why? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's tough, you have my sympathy x
Just thinking the same here myself - how am I going to fill the next 3 days
Music calms me a lot, going to put that on whilst I potter about doing some house work
Have started doing meal prep in the weekend for work days, to make it easier to eat better
My eating pattern is all over the place.
Can’t be arsed to cook so been eating quiche and salad for the last 3 days.
I need to kick myself up the arse !
Never felt so low.
Why not set that as a mission for yourself today? Go food shopping and cook yourself something decent
Be kind to yourself x
Patronise patronise
That is uncalled for.
Why?"
Because it’s unnecessary. The op has asked for help, the poster has offered it, and now you’re being unkind, and derailing the thread. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's tough, you have my sympathy x
Just thinking the same here myself - how am I going to fill the next 3 days
Music calms me a lot, going to put that on whilst I potter about doing some house work
Have started doing meal prep in the weekend for work days, to make it easier to eat better
My eating pattern is all over the place.
Can’t be arsed to cook so been eating quiche and salad for the last 3 days.
I need to kick myself up the arse !
Never felt so low.
Why not set that as a mission for yourself today? Go food shopping and cook yourself something decent
Be kind to yourself x
Patronise patronise
That is uncalled for.
Why?
Because it’s unnecessary. The op has asked for help, the poster has offered it, and now you’re being unkind, and derailing the thread."
Pot kettle black. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Op. I hear you. I really struggle at times, it’s really hard when you’re on your own.
I try and arrange to walk with friends, and now we can sit and chat with someone too.
I also do a workout most days, there’s loads on Amazon prime, and I watch Netflix in the evening.
Could you do some Easter photos today, we’re restarting the Easter photo challenge tomorrow?
Sending hugs, it’s bloody tough, but we’re nearly there. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Have to stay strong and keep going, one second at the time, one minute at the time, one hour at the time. Going for a lonely walk is good way to relax the mind! "
Was hoping to go for a walk on the beach. Just need to be motivated. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Op. I hear you. I really struggle at times, it’s really hard when you’re on your own.
I try and arrange to walk with friends, and now we can sit and chat with someone too.
I also do a workout most days, there’s loads on Amazon prime, and I watch Netflix in the evening.
Could you do some Easter photos today, we’re restarting the Easter photo challenge tomorrow?
Sending hugs, it’s bloody tough, but we’re nearly there. "
Thank you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can you get a pet OP? My cats keep me company really well, it's nice having someone to chat to and cuddle with.
And now things are opening up, could you possibly join a sports team? You'll make lots of friends and get outdoors and active too?
Feel better x |
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"During the week I’m busy with work.
The weekends I feel so alone.
If you live on your own with little family and no one local how do you cope ?
Have another 3 days . "
I am the opposite I have 6 in the house. Weekends it's madness. It's nice to go to work.  |
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OP things are tough at the moment but everyday things are slowly getting better. Be strong be patient and you will get there.
Sounds like you're making real efforts and even being here talking to us numpties may help you even a tiny bit.
Things will get better soon... You got this ... Big hug x |
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By *odgerMan
over a year ago
Coventry(ish)London |
"It's tough, you have my sympathy x
Just thinking the same here myself - how am I going to fill the next 3 days
Music calms me a lot, going to put that on whilst I potter about doing some house work
Have started doing meal prep in the weekend for work days, to make it easier to eat better
My eating pattern is all over the place.
Can’t be arsed to cook so been eating quiche and salad for the last 3 days.
I need to kick myself up the arse !
Never felt so low.
Why not set that as a mission for yourself today? Go food shopping and cook yourself something decent
Be kind to yourself x
Patronise patronise
That is uncalled for.
Why?
Because it’s unnecessary. The op has asked for help, the poster has offered it, and now you’re being unkind, and derailing the thread."
'Go food shopping' hardly inspirational advice tbh. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's tough, you have my sympathy x
Just thinking the same here myself - how am I going to fill the next 3 days
Music calms me a lot, going to put that on whilst I potter about doing some house work
Have started doing meal prep in the weekend for work days, to make it easier to eat better
My eating pattern is all over the place.
Can’t be arsed to cook so been eating quiche and salad for the last 3 days.
I need to kick myself up the arse !
Never felt so low.
Why not set that as a mission for yourself today? Go food shopping and cook yourself something decent
Be kind to yourself x
Patronise patronise
That is uncalled for.
Why?
Because it’s unnecessary. The op has asked for help, the poster has offered it, and now you’re being unkind, and derailing the thread.
Pot kettle black. "
I will answer and then can we get on with helpful ideas.
You Hodger, call someone patronising for offering a sympathetic response, yet you blame the OP for her lonliness because she isnt meeting. |
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Hello Vicky,
I find planning my days helps. A routine can be useful as much as it can get boring.
Setting goals can stimulate the mind whether fitness or other projects.
There’s some pretty awesome genuine people on fab who are ready to listen and chat with those feeling down.
We are here for you and each other
J |
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I've got myself a Casio keyboard... an hour or two can whizz by bashing away badly practicing tunes and learning how to play.... I've already learnt baby shark and doe a deer...what out Elton ...lol  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"OP things are tough at the moment but everyday things are slowly getting better. Be strong be patient and you will get there.
Sounds like you're making real efforts and even being here talking to us numpties may help you even a tiny bit.
Things will get better soon... You got this ... Big hug x "
Thank you.
Great word.... numpties |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hello Vicky,
I find planning my days helps. A routine can be useful as much as it can get boring.
Setting goals can stimulate the mind whether fitness or other projects.
There’s some pretty awesome genuine people on fab who are ready to listen and chat with those feeling down.
We are here for you and each other
J "
|
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"I still find I like being by myself. Before I met my ex I was a loner and am going back into that with ease.
Lost in music, in films, in reading, in pottering about my house etc.
Sorry to hear that you are struggling.
Thank you.
Always lived with a partner or house share. This is the first time on my own. Just need to learn to adapt. "
It’s difficult. I’ve lived alone now for over two years. Found it hard at first but it’s getting better. I have to push myself to do things though. If you need someone to talk to pm me.....xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi V,
Can't add much to the excellent advice, just that the covid situation is improving and more opportunities to meet socially will open up.
Stay strong, we've all come a long way and put up with a lot but it won't be for ever. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hi V,
Can't add much to the excellent advice, just that the covid situation is improving and more opportunities to meet socially will open up.
Stay strong, we've all come a long way and put up with a lot but it won't be for ever. "
Thank you.
It’s been a long year. |
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Not sure where in Norfolk you are but what about joining a friendship group who also help the community. Lions club, womens institute etc most towns have them. They are always friendly and volunteer so opens it up to meeting so many new people.
There is a book club on here that gives you something to focus on and join in the discussion.
Do you not have a bubble as a lone adult?
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By *odgerMan
over a year ago
Coventry(ish)London |
"It's tough, you have my sympathy x
Just thinking the same here myself - how am I going to fill the next 3 days
Music calms me a lot, going to put that on whilst I potter about doing some house work
Have started doing meal prep in the weekend for work days, to make it easier to eat better
My eating pattern is all over the place.
Can’t be arsed to cook so been eating quiche and salad for the last 3 days.
I need to kick myself up the arse !
Never felt so low.
Why not set that as a mission for yourself today? Go food shopping and cook yourself something decent
Be kind to yourself x
Patronise patronise
That is uncalled for.
Why?
Because it’s unnecessary. The op has asked for help, the poster has offered it, and now you’re being unkind, and derailing the thread.
Pot kettle black.
I will answer and then can we get on with helpful ideas.
You Hodger, call someone patronising for offering a sympathetic response, yet you blame the OP for her lonliness because she isnt meeting. "
a) if I said I was lonely and someone suggested food shopping as a solution then I would feel patronised.
b) I didn't blame the OP for anything...if they don't want to meet anyone ( and I don't mean meet meet) and blocks 90% of folk on here then they're not helping themselves
c) pot kettle black wasn't me...that was someone insulting you.
d) thank you. |
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Know that feeling been single for over 5 years and have my own place were I live alone.
Most of my friends are busy now busy with family life and my family live a good 100+ miles away.
Try to keep busy but miss that social interaction luckily I work otherwise lockdown would of driven me nuts !
Happy to chat x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry to hear this... genuinely sad as over the last 12 months, I’d say we’ve all struggled to adapt to this ‘new world’. I don’t even think my bed was made for months at first other then when washed.
There’s comes a point where you literally scream at yourself to shape up or ship out... not for everyone but I found online courses occupied my time and the hours flew by.... first stared with self help courses, but that made me realise I was better than that and didn’t actually need it... now I’m a whizz at all kinds of useless nonsense.... who knows that ‘big data and tax avoidance’ could be so fun? (Well that’s a lie, it was boring a shit but it was a freebie so spent a few days plodding thru it) anyway - you get the jist...
We’re nearing the end - just hang in there |
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Don’t understand. You posted this and an hour later you put on your status you are having a friend cull on here.
Why not talk to the people you are about to delete from your friends list and talk to them about why you have not spoken to them for so long? |
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"Sorry to hear this... genuinely sad as over the last 12 months, I’d say we’ve all struggled to adapt to this ‘new world’. I don’t even think my bed was made for months at first other then when washed.
There’s comes a point where you literally scream at yourself to shape up or ship out... not for everyone but I found online courses occupied my time and the hours flew by.... first stared with self help courses, but that made me realise I was better than that and didn’t actually need it... now I’m a whizz at all kinds of useless nonsense.... who knows that ‘big data and tax avoidance’ could be so fun? (Well that’s a lie, it was boring a shit but it was a freebie so spent a few days plodding thru it) anyway - you get the jist...
We’re nearing the end - just hang in there "
This is a good idea. I have completed many online courses. Been a single mum 12 years it keeps me sane and another string to my bow. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Don’t understand. You posted this and an hour later you put on your status you are having a friend cull on here.
Why not talk to the people you are about to delete from your friends list and talk to them about why you have not spoken to them for so long?"
Wow !
Having a friends cull has nothing to do with being lonely.
I’ve chosen to remove those that I feel the conversation is to one way. Why should it always be me that starts the conversation. ? I prefer friendships to be equal
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don’t understand. You posted this and an hour later you put on your status you are having a friend cull on here.
Why not talk to the people you are about to delete from your friends list and talk to them about why you have not spoken to them for so long?
Wow !
Having a friends cull has nothing to do with being lonely.
I’ve chosen to remove those that I feel the conversation is to one way. Why should it always be me that starts the conversation. ? I prefer friendships to be equal
"
You don’t have to justify your actions lovely, you really don’t. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don’t understand. You posted this and an hour later you put on your status you are having a friend cull on here.
Why not talk to the people you are about to delete from your friends list and talk to them about why you have not spoken to them for so long?
Wow !
Having a friends cull has nothing to do with being lonely.
I’ve chosen to remove those that I feel the conversation is to one way. Why should it always be me that starts the conversation. ? I prefer friendships to be equal
"
I get what you’re saying there... and culling is certainly your prerogative. But how about instead of setting status as you’re culling, instead inform everyone you’re struggling, you may be surprised to find that some of these friends are actually worth keeping after all |
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"Don’t understand. You posted this and an hour later you put on your status you are having a friend cull on here.
Why not talk to the people you are about to delete from your friends list and talk to them about why you have not spoken to them for so long?"
I have a friends cull every so often too. Mind you I don’t advertise it, I just do it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s awful to be lonely. I really know how you feel. All the suggestions above are brilliant and will help to fill your day.
Now we’re allowed to meet outside in a little group are you not able to arrange to have some company somewhere for a few hours? Sometimes there is no substitute for face to face interaction when you’re feeling this way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don’t understand. You posted this and an hour later you put on your status you are having a friend cull on here.
Why not talk to the people you are about to delete from your friends list and talk to them about why you have not spoken to them for so long?
Wow !
Having a friends cull has nothing to do with being lonely.
I’ve chosen to remove those that I feel the conversation is to one way. Why should it always be me that starts the conversation. ? I prefer friendships to be equal
"
Best thing I did was binning my real life friends last year. They were all take but not there when I needed anything.
I was going to suggest this. Makes you feel worse when you ask for help and get nothing. X |
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By *eggo3Man
over a year ago
denton |
Hi, some great posts on this subject which does come up more and more particularly as it is seen as okay to feeling lonely. I have really struggled on some days and that " compare and despair" feeling comes into play quite a lot but the dog certainly helps. Once lockdown ends properly look up " meetup" in your area they have groups covering lots of activities. I looked up online courses but reviews were mostly poor. Can anyone advise of a good online course provider? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When my kids aren't here at the weekend, I've been immersing myself in cleaning (COMPLETELY out of character!) and gardening. I am looking forward to getting out for road trips with my camera and meeting people, obviously. Lockdown has been so hard for single people. |
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"Don’t understand. You posted this and an hour later you put on your status you are having a friend cull on here.
Why not talk to the people you are about to delete from your friends list and talk to them about why you have not spoken to them for so long?
Wow !
Having a friends cull has nothing to do with being lonely.
I’ve chosen to remove those that I feel the conversation is to one way. Why should it always be me that starts the conversation. ? I prefer friendships to be equal
I get what you’re saying there... and culling is certainly your prerogative. But how about instead of setting status as you’re culling, instead inform everyone you’re struggling, you may be surprised to find that some of these friends are actually worth keeping after all "
exactly the point I was trying to make
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i don't cope at all. just try and bide my time to get myself safely through the day.
Px 
