FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > I like you
I like you
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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Is it possible to like someone before you've met them? And I don't just mean in a sexual, I'd really like to be dicked by/dick you sort of way - can you be friends with someone you've not met previously?
Even on the forums, have you found that you warm to certain people? I know personally I definitely do like some who post on here and we've yet to meet. Or perhaps I like an ideal of them in my head. Not sure. 
(I'm not interested in dislike btw, focusing on like today!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it possible to like someone before you've met them? And I don't just mean in a sexual, I'd really like to be dicked by/dick you sort of way - can you be friends with someone you've not met previously?
Even on the forums, have you found that you warm to certain people? I know personally I definitely do like some who post on here and we've yet to meet. Or perhaps I like an ideal of them in my head. Not sure.
(I'm not interested in dislike btw, focusing on like today!)"
Yes, I think it’s possible to get a deep sense of whether you like someone from online discourse online. Perhaps not as immediate, but sometimes you get a vibe after 1 or 2 short messages even. |
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I totally like people.  I don’t fancy people easily at all but I definitely warm to some folk much easier than others. I think it’s a very natural thing to gravitate to personality traits you respect. There are some fabulous humans here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it possible to like someone before you've met them? And I don't just mean in a sexual, I'd really like to be dicked by/dick you sort of way - can you be friends with someone you've not met previously?
Even on the forums, have you found that you warm to certain people? I know personally I definitely do like some who post on here and we've yet to meet. Or perhaps I like an ideal of them in my head. Not sure.
(I'm not interested in dislike btw, focusing on like today!)"
Yes it's absolutely possible.
(And, yes, it's too early.... Lol) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You can like someone without meeting...but would you be prepared to meet and then realise there not the same as on here? And its the other way....im a complete arsehole on here but in the real world im not complete yet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think so to a certain extent, but the reality might be different if you meet them, but there’s a few on here who I have a very similar sense of humour to me and we riff off each other, then you find out they’re nearly as weird as me in other areas, then you can see where the humour comes from. The same as some people who you’ve got no connection with even if you do find them attractive, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Even with my ice cold stone heart, I like some people. How they interact with other people on forums. How they chat in messages.
I would want to meet for a real life chat to be sure.
But I'm not really bothered if they are catfish either. If I like them as people it doesn't bother me at all that "Kate" is actually Barry. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Absolutely! I think some online friendships can be as equally rewarding as RL ones. Although you do have to bear in mind that the person behind the persona may be a bit different if you ever meet them in the flesh. Our brains do like to fill in the gaps. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think personally a communication attraction is such a huge and butterfly feeling and the best. Clicking without seeing someone face to face makes the thrill and emotion run even higher ! Great adrenaline feeling. Just love it |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"Yes, personas are somehow more attractive that the real ppl nowadays
#youknowwhoyouare
"
Or your perception of their persona might be - we all have biases that influence how we view others. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Absolutely! I think some online friendships can be as equally rewarding as RL ones. Although you do have to bear in mind that the person behind the persona may be a bit different if you ever meet them in the flesh. Our brains do like to fill in the gaps."
Agree...when we are online we have more control on how people see us...we think before we reply...we post pics that we have picked to represent us... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes, personas are somehow more attractive that the real ppl nowadays
#youknowwhoyouare
Or your perception of their persona might be - we all have biases that influence how we view others. "
Oh definitely ! Do you love me or the idea of me ?! That is the question. |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
I met my wife of 20 years online, and we spoke for months before I managed to hop over to the US to visit her.
Some of my best friends I have met online, so yes I think it is possible to decide you like someone before you actually meet them.
Their true nature shines through over time or as a result of situations they find themselves in.
We have also determined that we like a few people on fab enough that we would want to meet them.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Absolutely! I think some online friendships can be as equally rewarding as RL ones. Although you do have to bear in mind that the person behind the persona may be a bit different if you ever meet them in the flesh. Our brains do like to fill in the gaps.
Agree...when we are online we have more control on how people see us...we think before we reply...we post pics that we have picked to represent us..."
I'm doing it all wrong! |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"I totally like people. I don’t fancy people easily at all but I definitely warm to some folk much easier than others. I think it’s a very natural thing to gravitate to personality traits you respect. There are some fabulous humans here. "
Yes, that's sort of how I view it. I know that although I've not met some people, I do like them. They have certain traits that I value, others I admire. Nell Gwyn is probably right as well though, we do fill in the spaces of the unknown about a person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Okay, what about someone you can’t stand on here, but if you met them you might really hit it off, things might get lost in text and your perception of them is way off to the reality. |
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Oh gosh, yes! I've wonderful friends on here that I can chat to about all-sorts of shit & they just get me.
There are others that I find attractive and KNOW that we'll get on when we meet, too.
It's rather rare that I'm disappointed in real life, as I will chat for ages before meeting (even before pandemic). That said, it HAS happened. Fancied someone like crazy and although they were even hotter in person, there was no spark. |
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I think you can over time. Even in real life there are people you click with fairly instantly.
Yes there's the thing that they may only show one side of them, but that's the same in real life also. So why can't we decide to like someone we've never met all friendships start somewhere. |
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"Okay, what about someone you can’t stand on here, but if you met them you might really hit it off, things might get lost in text and your perception of them is way off to the reality."
Yes, I'm sure this could happen. But where would I be likely to meet them if I couldn't stand them? |
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"Okay, what about someone you can’t stand on here, but if you met them you might really hit it off, things might get lost in text and your perception of them is way off to the reality."
That would depend on the why. I may not like someone due to certain behaviours that don't sit right with me. That's highly unlikely to change.
Other stuff yeah, tone and timing, visuals and animations that all play a part aren't put across and could very easily be the thing that changes how we feel |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes. I reckon you can.
I watched ‘Her’ the film and that kind of resonated with me. I like people’s personalities, and that’s how I form friendships in the real world, so sure, why not online and by text only.
You don’t need to get sexy to be friends with someone you meet on Fab op 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I totally like people. I don’t fancy people easily at all but I definitely warm to some folk much easier than others. I think it’s a very natural thing to gravitate to personality traits you respect. There are some fabulous humans here.
Yes, that's sort of how I view it. I know that although I've not met some people, I do like them. They have certain traits that I value, others I admire. Nell Gwyn is probably right as well though, we do fill in the spaces of the unknown about a person."
I am always right 
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"I totally like people. I don’t fancy people easily at all but I definitely warm to some folk much easier than others. I think it’s a very natural thing to gravitate to personality traits you respect. There are some fabulous humans here.
Yes, that's sort of how I view it. I know that although I've not met some people, I do like them. They have certain traits that I value, others I admire. Nell Gwyn is probably right as well though, we do fill in the spaces of the unknown about a person."
Absolutely. But when it’s friendship rather than attraction those gaps aren’t as important I don’t think. Friendships can often be between very different people who simply respect each other’s point of view and full character, warts and all. |
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"Okay, what about someone you can’t stand on here, but if you met them you might really hit it off, things might get lost in text and your perception of them is way off to the reality."
This happens in real life though as well. M thought I was a right bitch for about a year. Before we actually started talking and then he realised he was wrong. |
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By *inamicMan
over a year ago
Blackpool |
Personally I'm not to sure think u can get an idea of someone from their profile. Possibly get caught up with the fantasy that profile represents. I think though that the first meet is always the crucial step, love it when you instantly click with a person. Also had the other side of that, when its just awkward silences with very little in common. |
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"Personally I'm not to sure think u can get an idea of someone from their profile. Possibly get caught up with the fantasy that profile represents. I think though that the first meet is always the crucial step, love it when you instantly click with a person. Also had the other side of that, when its just awkward silences with very little in common."
No, but you can by years of forum interactions, consistency and inconsistency etc. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"I met my wife of 20 years online, and we spoke for months before I managed to hop over to the US to visit her.
Some of my best friends I have met online, so yes I think it is possible to decide you like someone before you actually meet them.
Their true nature shines through over time or as a result of situations they find themselves in.
We have also determined that we like a few people on fab enough that we would want to meet them.
"
Oh that's lovely! One of my close friends I met when I was a GM, we spent 2 years raiding together before we met up. He's now very much part of my life.
Yes, when it comes to Fab you have to think "actually, I like you" enough before you'd consider meeting them surely? And no, I don't mean in a loving sort of way but you can tell if you'd get on with someone on the whole. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think you can yes definitely!
We've been speaking to some lovely people on here for a while and I think if you talk a lot, you can get a sense of whether you'll get on before meeting them as your still getting their personality come through.
From general chit chat, having a laugh, to naughty chat. We've built some great connections with people on here.
That's our view anyway
Her x |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"Yes. I reckon you can.
I watched ‘Her’ the film and that kind of resonated with me. I like people’s personalities, and that’s how I form friendships in the real world, so sure, why not online and by text only.
You don’t need to get sexy to be friends with someone you meet on Fab op
"
Ah I know Bee, I have made some wonderful friends who I've never remotely got sexy with (minus the odd platonic boob grope). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it possible to like someone before you've met them? And I don't just mean in a sexual, I'd really like to be dicked by/dick you sort of way - can you be friends with someone you've not met previously?
Even on the forums, have you found that you warm to certain people? I know personally I definitely do like some who post on here and we've yet to meet. Or perhaps I like an ideal of them in my head. Not sure.
(I'm not interested in dislike btw, focusing on like today!)"
Yes I do think it is possible to like someone before you meet them. Due to restrictions and lockdowns I've ended up chatting here more than previously so have taken the time to get to know them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Absolutely!
It's rare it happens quickly, but there are several people I'm yet to meet that I like immensely.
I can't always tell if I fancy someone til I meet them tho.
Lu  |
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By *inamicMan
over a year ago
Blackpool |
"Personally I'm not to sure think u can get an idea of someone from their profile. Possibly get caught up with the fantasy that profile represents. I think though that the first meet is always the crucial step, love it when you instantly click with a person. Also had the other side of that, when its just awkward silences with very little in common.
No, but you can by years of forum interactions, consistency and inconsistency etc."
I come on forums every now and again. Found i'm a natural at being the conversation killer on posts lol.
Think personally i come across better in person at club events than when messaging on here |
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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago
Craggy Island |
"Is it possible to like someone before you've met them? And I don't just mean in a sexual, I'd really like to be dicked by/dick you sort of way - can you be friends with someone you've not met previously?
Even on the forums, have you found that you warm to certain people? I know personally I definitely do like some who post on here and we've yet to meet. Or perhaps I like an ideal of them in my head. Not sure.
(I'm not interested in dislike btw, focusing on like today!)"
I suppose you can, but there is always a risk of raising your expectations and getting them crushed. Look at Katie Holmes, had a picture of Tom Cruise on her bed room wall told her friends she going to marry him... spent most of their marriage writing get help in the peas. |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"Oh that's lovely! One of my close friends I met when I was a GM, we spent 2 years raiding together before we met up. He's now very much part of my life.
Yes, when it comes to Fab you have to think "actually, I like you" enough before you'd consider meeting them surely? And no, I don't mean in a loving sort of way but you can tell if you'd get on with someone on the whole."
We were EQ darlings who jumped to WoW.
Many of our best friendships were forged in the crucible of raiding and managing guilds!
Been out the game a while now though, catching up on lost sleep! |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"But do you need to meet them in the real world? If everything is amazing online...keep it there "
This sort of wisdom I wasn't expecting. Maybe we should all stay indoors and keep interactions to the virtual. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But do you need to meet them in the real world? If everything is amazing online...keep it there
This sort of wisdom I wasn't expecting. Maybe we should all stay indoors and keep interactions to the virtual."
No thanks, I haven’t had a hug for over a year. Boo hoo |
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By *inamicMan
over a year ago
Blackpool |
"But do you need to meet them in the real world? If everything is amazing online...keep it there
This sort of wisdom I wasn't expecting. Maybe we should all stay indoors and keep interactions to the virtual."
Isn't this already the current lockdown Mantra |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But do you need to meet them in the real world? If everything is amazing online...keep it there
This sort of wisdom I wasn't expecting. Maybe we should all stay indoors and keep interactions to the virtual."
Sorry...I meant if it was 1 particular person...not everyone lol |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"Even with my ice cold stone heart, I like some people. How they interact with other people on forums. How they chat in messages.
I would want to meet for a real life chat to be sure.
But I'm not really bothered if they are catfish either. If I like them as people it doesn't bother me at all that "Kate" is actually Barry. "
You don't have an ice cold stone heart! I've read too many of your posts over the years to know that's not true.
What you've said about catfishing is interesting - I guess it depends on the way in which you like someone to a certain degree. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"But do you need to meet them in the real world? If everything is amazing online...keep it there
This sort of wisdom I wasn't expecting. Maybe we should all stay indoors and keep interactions to the virtual."
This type of comment is where ascribed tone comes into play.
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"I can like the personality that someone projects on here.
That doesn't mean it's a true, or consistent representation of themselves.
I can go off people in the real world I've known for years."
Yes and vice versa. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"Oh gosh, yes! I've wonderful friends on here that I can chat to about all-sorts of shit & they just get me.
There are others that I find attractive and KNOW that we'll get on when we meet, too.
It's rather rare that I'm disappointed in real life, as I will chat for ages before meeting (even before pandemic). That said, it HAS happened. Fancied someone like crazy and although they were even hotter in person, there was no spark. "
Ah I wasn't thinking so much about the sexy sexy side of things but yes; for whatever reason it doesn't always translate in person sadly.
I'm hoping that some friendships translate, I'll find out soon enough! |
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Its definitely possible to like someone by just chatting/messaging or even seeing their posts here on the forums.
As to whether there will be a physical sexual attraction, that has to be done in person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its definitely possible to like someone by just chatting/messaging or even seeing their posts here on the forums.
As to whether there will be a physical sexual attraction, that has to be done in person."
Pretty much this. You can get a sense of personality via online communication and that can definitely be attractive.
Its certainly enough to form a friendship, anything more needs a face to face though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, unless they are presenting a persona on here.
I have watched people evolve in their personas on here over the years, coming in like frightened rabbits, becoming more confident.
Hopefully it bleeds into their real lives, as it has with me, and they are authentic x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes, unless they are presenting a persona on here.
I have watched people evolve in their personas on here over the years, coming in like frightened rabbits, becoming more confident.
Hopefully it bleeds into their real lives, as it has with me, and they are authentic x"
Very much so, I’ve blossomed from the timid thing I once was |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, 100%. But it does take time to get to know that person. I met my partner online and we are still together now 13 years later.
I also joined a forum when I was 15. And there are still 20 of us in a group on Facebook and we chat daily. We have all shared and been through so much together.
It's funny actually one of them posted yesterday about what we have all been through and how much our lives have changed. We have saved lives, shared our kids growing, gone through breakups and have video chats and meets when the time allows. It's a very beautiful thing and I have so much love for them. I would trust some of those women with my life.
I've been chatting to someone from Fab for around six or seven months now and I've really grown to like them too and view them as a friend even without sexual attraction involved. It's completely possible to like people very much before you ever meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t spend enough time on here to say _eli but I think I’m more a meet someone in person before I can decide x
I knew I’d like you before we met but that was because we chatted so much through beard boy |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
I get a sense of liking for someone yes. Their humour mostly does that for me, because you can’t really fake a sense of humour (although I may be wrong).
But romantically I would have to meet them first for anything like that. And to develop a friendship I would have to meet them, because sometimes you click online and in person it’s just awful and you get a better true sense of someone in person.
So initially, yes, BUT it would need meets in person to move forward and grow. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes, unless they are presenting a persona on here.
I have watched people evolve in their personas on here over the years, coming in like frightened rabbits, becoming more confident.
Hopefully it bleeds into their real lives, as it has with me, and they are authentic x
Very much so, I’ve blossomed from the timid thing I once was "
You Sooooo have! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh gosh, yes! I've wonderful friends on here....
I'm hoping that some friendships translate, I'll find out soon enough! "
Well at least give me a heads up so I can go cheese shopping first!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No. You can certainly be more attracted towards some people than others online and have good chats, etc. But I would never presume that I knew someone enough from online contact only to say I liked them as I like friends in real life. In my experience an online persona is not equivalent to a real world personality. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get a sense of liking for someone yes. Their humour mostly does that for me, because you can’t really fake a sense of humour (although I may be wrong).
But romantically I would have to meet them first for anything like that. And to develop a friendship I would have to meet them, because sometimes you click online and in person it’s just awful and you get a better true sense of someone in person.
So initially, yes, BUT it would need meets in person to move forward and grow."
I think you’re right about the sense of humour, I get round this by having 5 jokes on heavy rotation, the down side to that is some people might have heard them hundreds of times before and find it incredibly annoying, but there’s always someone new who may think it is slightly amusing and that’s a chance I’m willing to take. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like you too Meli.
Awww Cunning! Happy Birthday.  "
Thanks Meli. Sorry to gatecrash your party. I do agree with you and many others here. It is possible to form strong relationships online even before you meet someone. |
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By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
In certain ways yes. I think it depends on how much you chat and if its just in the forums. Theres definitely a few people that I'd love to meet in person because I think we'd have fun.
 |
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Absolutely yes .
Several lovely people I'll hopefully be meeting at some point, not all sexually either .
Some are and hopefully will be good friends , I'm a good judge of character and try and steer towards good human beings .
So yes absolutely is my answer |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I think absolutely you can "like" someone you've never met purely by getting to know them through messaging and forum interaction - in fact I'd go as far as to say that some people you can have an even deeper affinity with that goes beyond "like" into solid friendship without meeting them - the kind of friendship where trust and respect are established and mutual and where you have absolutely no doubt that in person will be no different to the textual world. In fact I'd go as far as to say those friendships can be just as strong as established "real life" ones, if not stronger given the nature of this site and that there are some things you might be more open about here than you would with "real life" friends.
I also think it's completely possible to find similar in a sexual attraction kind of way without meeting someone - although I do wonder in those instances which comes first the strong sense of "liking" or the "fancying" and which begets the other.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think absolutely you can "like" someone you've never met purely by getting to know them through messaging and forum interaction - in fact I'd go as far as to say that some people you can have an even deeper affinity with that goes beyond "like" into solid friendship without meeting them - the kind of friendship where trust and respect are established and mutual and where you have absolutely no doubt that in person will be no different to the textual world. In fact I'd go as far as to say those friendships can be just as strong as established "real life" ones, if not stronger given the nature of this site and that there are some things you might be more open about here than you would with "real life" friends.
I also think it's completely possible to find similar in a sexual attraction kind of way without meeting someone - although I do wonder in those instances which comes first the strong sense of "liking" or the "fancying" and which begets the other.
"
You have such a wonderful way with words. I completely agree. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah, I reckon so.
I’m usually right about the opinion I’ve formed through the forum when I’ve met people.
Although I do admit I’ve got one or two wrong... |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"I don’t spend enough time on here to say _eli but I think I’m more a meet someone in person before I can decide x
I knew I’d like you before we met but that was because we chatted so much through beard boy "
It's good he has some uses. Thank you Henriette, I liked you before as well. I definitely think that the frequency of interaction (unsurprisingly) has an impact on how you view another. You're sensible with the meet before you decide approach - my like is firmly on my sleeves at all times. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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yeah 100% - there are a few people on here who, if they are in real life as they come across on here & when chatting, would absolutely be my kind of person / mate in real life.
I think its much more likely to be disappointed meeting someone from here in real life, though, than if you had initially met once or twice in a pub first... it would be easy for a great 'vibe' from someone here to quickly go sour. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah, I reckon so.
I’m usually right about the opinion I’ve formed through the forum when I’ve met people.
Although I do admit I’ve got one or two wrong..."
For instance...
I’ve yet to meet Gemini man but I’ve known for many years that we’d 100% get on terrifically, our interests and opinions align on almost all subjects.
I’ve also yet to meet the LBC but I know 100% we’d make amazing sex noises together and she’d plaster my face in her love juices. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah, I reckon so.
I’m usually right about the opinion I’ve formed through the forum when I’ve met people.
Although I do admit I’ve got one or two wrong...
People think I'm sweet and innocent "
They do? |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"No. You can certainly be more attracted towards some people than others online and have good chats, etc. But I would never presume that I knew someone enough from online contact only to say I liked them as I like friends in real life. In my experience an online persona is not equivalent to a real world personality."
Ah your experience hasn't been a positive one which is a shame. For the most part I've found people to be very much like they are online and that's a wonderful thing.
Perhaps a bit quieter at times but once they are more comfortable they are broadly the same. |
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"Is it possible to like someone before you've met them? And I don't just mean in a sexual, I'd really like to be dicked by/dick you sort of way - can you be friends with someone you've not met previously?
Even on the forums, have you found that you warm to certain people? I know personally I definitely do like some who post on here and we've yet to meet. Or perhaps I like an ideal of them in my head. Not sure.
(I'm not interested in dislike btw, focusing on like today!)"
I think you can like someone's personality online but it's not until you meet them in person that you get to see if that was real or fake. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think you can warm to people, or recognise common interests, similar principles etc, and that can be positive, even appreciating the same kind of humour or sexual interests, and that may create interest or liking someone in those ways. For me though, meeting someone in person is a far better gauge of reality - and I mean that in the context of everything to see if it’s as you think or feel. I’ve met some people at socials who are way different in person to how they seem on here. Not worse or better, just different and a healthy reminder that face to face is really good, works best for me anyway. |
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"Yeah, I reckon so.
I’m usually right about the opinion I’ve formed through the forum when I’ve met people.
Although I do admit I’ve got one or two wrong...
People think I'm sweet and innocent "
I dont  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yeah, I reckon so.
I’m usually right about the opinion I’ve formed through the forum when I’ve met people.
Although I do admit I’ve got one or two wrong...
For instance...
I’ve yet to meet Gemini man but I’ve known for many years that we’d 100% get on terrifically, our interests and opinions align on almost all subjects.
I’ve also yet to meet the LBC but I know 100% we’d make amazing sex noises together and she’d plaster my face in her love juices."
I would ride you like The Big Dipper at Blackpool Pleasure Beach and scream like a cat outside the window at 3am. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"No. You can certainly be more attracted towards some people than others online and have good chats, etc. But I would never presume that I knew someone enough from online contact only to say I liked them as I like friends in real life. In my experience an online persona is not equivalent to a real world personality.
Ah your experience hasn't been a positive one which is a shame. For the most part I've found people to be very much like they are online and that's a wonderful thing.
Perhaps a bit quieter at times but once they are more comfortable they are broadly the same."
Perhaps I didn't express myself well, as my experience on Fab and elsewhere online has been very positive.
It's not that people are necessarily that different online than in person but rather that real life connections are always richer,subtler and more complex, in my experience at least. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like you, Meli...
I think I can gauge people reasonably well through messages and phone calls, and I've certainly liked several people on Fab before I'd physically met them and felt a connection had been forged.
Wanting to rip their clothes off is a different matter. Only face to face meeting will tell me that.  |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"I like you, Meli...
I think I can gauge people reasonably well through messages and phone calls, and I've certainly liked several people on Fab before I'd physically met them and felt a connection had been forged.
Wanting to rip their clothes off is a different matter. Only face to face meeting will tell me that. "
Aww Saphiophile 
I like you too - I've really enjoyed reading your forum posts over the years. As far as ripping off clothes go, I can find people shaggable quite quickly (especially if they have a nice voice) but that's probably down to my overactive imagination. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have found people incredibly attractive by simply messaging but that can be messaging over months, where you really get to know them from their opinions, how supportive they are if things are not great, the way they just seem to know what you want to hear. Of course, there has always been voice chats too which completes more of the picture.
A few times, including recently, there are people who I know I would just jump on and snog their face off because they are so attractive to me simply from our messages.
So, yeah, definitely for me |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"....In fact I'd go as far as to say those friendships can be just as strong as established "real life" ones, if not stronger given the nature of this site and that there are some things you might be more open about here than you would with "real life" friends....
"
It's not a full moon tonight and yet I agree with you GM. Strange world we live in, this is becoming something of a habit.
There are definitely things that I talk about with friends from here I wouldn't even dream of discussing with friends from outside of here - me being poly as one, the peculiarities of etiquette on this site.
Even having a little grumble about someone that's not my fiancé, with friends on here I don't need to worry or explain too much about it, they won't be shocked that I talk to men other than him and sometimes even have sex with them.
I've really come to appreciate them these past few months. |
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Yes and especially in lock down its been interesting to see the different friendships evolve and change, only meeting in person will tell but I've yet to meet a online friend that turned out to be not the same in real life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hands up, who likes me?
(Does anyone know where that quote is from?)
From your brain ? yes! (And no)"
You lost me ! You are too complicated ! But I like you from afar x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hands up, who likes me?
(Does anyone know where that quote is from?) "
I do.
It’s bugging the fuck outta me though... can’t place it.
I wanna say a monty python sketch but I just can’t work it out, or black adder? |
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You can certainly enjoy online interactions but genuine (non-sexual) affection, I'm not sure. The internet lends itself to projecting desires and fantasies; personality flaws that would be apparent from behaviour towards others in the real world are screened out. I don't think a real bond of friendship is formed until you have been able to depend on another person. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"There are 5 people on this thread that I like
I'm now up to 12
This is a likeable thread "
That's because there are great people like you posting on it*. 
*Because we've not had enough saccharine smoke blowing so far.
P.S it was genuine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You can certainly enjoy online interactions but genuine (non-sexual) affection, I'm not sure. The internet lends itself to projecting desires and fantasies; personality flaws that would be apparent from behaviour towards others in the real world are screened out. I don't think a real bond of friendship is formed until you have been able to depend on another person."
I think that's really well put, and more eloquent than my own post which was trying to say something similar. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hands up, who likes me?
(Does anyone know where that quote is from?)
I do.
It’s bugging the fuck outta me though... can’t place it.
I wanna say a monty python sketch but I just can’t work it out, or black adder?"
It’s The Office, David Brent |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hands up, who likes me?
(Does anyone know where that quote is from?)
I do.
It’s bugging the fuck outta me though... can’t place it.
I wanna say a monty python sketch but I just can’t work it out, or black adder?
It’s The Office, David Brent "
That's the real quiz. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hands up, who likes me?
(Does anyone know where that quote is from?)
I do.
It’s bugging the fuck outta me though... can’t place it.
I wanna say a monty python sketch but I just can’t work it out, or black adder?
It’s The Office, David Brent
That's the real quiz. "
He’s thrown a kettle over a pub, what have you done ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hands up, who likes me?
(Does anyone know where that quote is from?)
I do.
It’s bugging the fuck outta me though... can’t place it.
I wanna say a monty python sketch but I just can’t work it out, or black adder?
It’s The Office, David Brent "
Nah... it’s Rick mayall, definitely.
Either the young ones or bottom. |
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"Hands up, who likes me?
(Does anyone know where that quote is from?)
I do.
It’s bugging the fuck outta me though... can’t place it.
I wanna say a monty python sketch but I just can’t work it out, or black adder?"
Haha! Close. 80’s alternative comedy |
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"Hands up, who likes me?
(Does anyone know where that quote is from?)
I do.
It’s bugging the fuck outta me though... can’t place it.
I wanna say a monty python sketch but I just can’t work it out, or black adder?
It’s The Office, David Brent
Nah... it’s Rick mayall, definitely.
Either the young ones or bottom."
yes, rik in the young ones |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hands up, who likes me?
(Does anyone know where that quote is from?)
I do.
It’s bugging the fuck outta me though... can’t place it.
I wanna say a monty python sketch but I just can’t work it out, or black adder?
It’s The Office, David Brent
Nah... it’s Rick mayall, definitely.
Either the young ones or bottom. yes, rik in the young ones "
Yess!
Nailed it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is it possible to like someone before you've met them? And I don't just mean in a sexual, I'd really like to be dicked by/dick you sort of way - can you be friends with someone you've not met previously?
Even on the forums, have you found that you warm to certain people? I know personally I definitely do like some who post on here and we've yet to meet. Or perhaps I like an ideal of them in my head. Not sure.
(I'm not interested in dislike btw, focusing on like today!)"
I think yes. Already had that kind of experience.
 |
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Yes I do think it is possible Meli.
We warm to the way a person interacts with us, they way they carry themselves via text or even calls. We can like the things they say, the views that they have about general things which gives us the image that they are lovely.
Some may say that the image you have is just confirmed once you meet which is true too. I guess it depends on how good your character judgement is.
I’m fond of a few I’ve spoken to on here and if we ever met I’m hoping that carries through both ways. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is it possible to like someone before you've met them? And I don't just mean in a sexual, I'd really like to be dicked by/dick you sort of way - can you be friends with someone you've not met previously?
Even on the forums, have you found that you warm to certain people? I know personally I definitely do like some who post on here and we've yet to meet. Or perhaps I like an ideal of them in my head. Not sure.
(I'm not interested in dislike btw, focusing on like today!)"
I love you Meli and we've not met yet so yer you can |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have a friend that I first encountered on a "vanilla" dating site, he lives in the States. He randomly came up on my feed one day and I messaged as he had a Chelsea top on.
It was never sexual chat that we shared but all sorts of things. We finally met one day when I had a message at midnight one Saturday to say he was taking me out to breakfast in the morning.
He works for a global company where if he is in London he is literally up the road from my office. And we met for Sunday brunch and for one of the few times in my life I have not been shy on meeting and it just felt like I had known him all my life.
So yes I believe that you can click with someone online and be friends.
And Meli I consider you a friend too x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yes you can, my partner and I met online. He finally persuaded me to meet him and it was instant attraction for us both. We found it so easy to talk to each other, and felt like we’ve known each other forever.
And on here it can work as well, I’ve met a few friends that we just get each other x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Id say with out a doubt that yes you can I myself have grown very found of a fair few of you formites both men and women that I chat to in a regular basis that I just know we would be firm friends if we met in person. And I believe also u can gain feelings for people b4 you even meet them people u chat to ever my day without fail it leaves a mark on your heart. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"I have a friend that I first encountered on a "vanilla" dating site, he lives in the States. He randomly came up on my feed one day and I messaged as he had a Chelsea top on.
It was never sexual chat that we shared but all sorts of things. We finally met one day when I had a message at midnight one Saturday to say he was taking me out to breakfast in the morning.
He works for a global company where if he is in London he is literally up the road from my office. And we met for Sunday brunch and for one of the few times in my life I have not been shy on meeting and it just felt like I had known him all my life.
So yes I believe that you can click with someone online and be friends.
And Meli I consider you a friend too x
"
I think you can click as well. Yes, of course there are times when people aren't who they seem but that's true of people whether you meet them virtually or in real life. It's really lovely you made that sort of connection Hope, I consider you a friend also, xx |
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"Is it possible to like someone before you've met them? And I don't just mean in a sexual, I'd really like to be dicked by/dick you sort of way - can you be friends with someone you've not met previously?
Even on the forums, have you found that you warm to certain people? I know personally I definitely do like some who post on here and we've yet to meet. Or perhaps I like an ideal of them in my head. Not sure.
(I'm not interested in dislike btw, focusing on like today!)"
Yes, there’s a girl on here, no names, but she disappeared all of a sudden without warning after her birthday.
Never met her, likelihood is I’ll never meet her as she lives miles away, but instantly liked her and felt protective over her. |
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I had someone id spoken to for years on here never thinking we would meet.
It transpired that our paths where going to cross and ehen i met them it was like id known them all my life.
On the flip side there was a woman i couldnt stand always snarling and bitching with each other. One night we where at the same social and boom we hit it of straight away. Shes long left fab but remains one of my closest friends |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
While I know you said you weren't interested in dislikes Meli - but hey that was six hours ago and I can't be in complete compliance with you for too long
What I possibly find more interesting than it being possible to "like" someone without having met them, is the notion of being able to "dislike" someone you've not met - yet we all have people we've not warmed to, or who we avoid on the forums etc - sometimes it's for very obvious reason, but others when it's based purely on forum interaction and not truly knowing someone it's maybe harder to understand than the "like" thing.
It's kind of easy to "like" someone without having met them - but the "dislike" thing can be a bit more of a head scratcher and may simply be down to loss of context from textual interaction or misunderstanding or even somebody not being able to express themselves well in a written format.
Would be interesting for two people who disliked each other to meet in person without knowing the others on-line name and see if perceptions were different. |
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"While I know you said you weren't interested in dislikes Meli - but hey that was six hours ago and I can't be in complete compliance with you for too long
What I possibly find more interesting than it being possible to "like" someone without having met them, is the notion of being able to "dislike" someone you've not met - yet we all have people we've not warmed to, or who we avoid on the forums etc - sometimes it's for very obvious reason, but others when it's based purely on forum interaction and not truly knowing someone it's maybe harder to understand than the "like" thing.
It's kind of easy to "like" someone without having met them - but the "dislike" thing can be a bit more of a head scratcher and may simply be down to loss of context from textual interaction or misunderstanding or even somebody not being able to express themselves well in a written format.
Would be interesting for two people who disliked each other to meet in person without knowing the others on-line name and see if perceptions were different."
I did just this. I met a lovely charming man in a club once. Confident intelligent and knew how to treat a woman. Such a nice guy.
When we parted i asked his username and he was a guy who used the forums who i thought was a dick head |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
" It's kind of easy to "like" someone without having met them - but the "dislike" thing can be a bit more of a head scratcher and may simply be down to loss of context from textual interaction or misunderstanding or even somebody not being able to express themselves well in a written format.
Would be interesting for two people who disliked each other to meet in person without knowing the others on-line name and see if perceptions were different."
I don't mind you discussing it to be very honest - I was wanting to focus on positives and also avoid any digs that might have led to the thread vanishing (as is oft the way when negatives are mentioned!).
I do think that there's a lot to be said for our preconceived notions of a person on the forums, the manner in which our confirmation biases highlight and strengthen our firm belief that a person is a particular way.
When someone posts at any given time, it's a snapshot, a small fraction in that moment of time of who they are overall. Yet we place such an onus on a hastily typed post that's probably quickly forgotten about, one we might misconstrue, one that's poorly written. It seems easier at times to give our energy to dislike, rather than like.
I've long held the belief that if people met face to face a good portion of them wouldn't dislike the other with such ferocity and might even find some common ground. So although I didn't want dislike, it's a very interesting point GM.
Holy fuck though, that's me done with agreeing with you now though.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I had someone id spoken to for years on here never thinking we would meet.
It transpired that our paths where going to cross and ehen i met them it was like id known them all my life.
On the flip side there was a woman i couldnt stand always snarling and bitching with each other. One night we where at the same social and boom we hit it of straight away. Shes long left fab but remains one of my closest friends"
V and FF? |
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"I had someone id spoken to for years on here never thinking we would meet.
It transpired that our paths where going to cross and ehen i met them it was like id known them all my life.
On the flip side there was a woman i couldnt stand always snarling and bitching with each other. One night we where at the same social and boom we hit it of straight away. Shes long left fab but remains one of my closest friends
V and FF?"
correct. Well done xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I had someone id spoken to for years on here never thinking we would meet.
It transpired that our paths where going to cross and ehen i met them it was like id known them all my life.
On the flip side there was a woman i couldnt stand always snarling and bitching with each other. One night we where at the same social and boom we hit it of straight away. Shes long left fab but remains one of my closest friends
V and FF?
correct. Well done xx"
x Love that. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"So although I didn't want dislike, it's a very interesting point GM.
Holy fuck though, that's me done with agreeing with you now though.
"
See you in 2022?
It is an interesting thought though - and I think just as this thread has shown it is possible to like someone without having met them, logic would suggest it's equally possible to dislike someone that way - it's just a bit more of a headscratcher at times, that said there are some people that I am so chalk and cheese with that I know we'd never get on in a month of Sundays and am pretty sure the feeling is mutual.
Anyway back to the liking |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"Yeah, I reckon so.
I’m usually right about the opinion I’ve formed through the forum when I’ve met people.
Although I do admit I’ve got one or two wrong...
People think I'm sweet and innocent
They do? "
Once they see my sweet and innocent face. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It’s possible you can get a feeling of someone before you meet them. But attraction is about meeting someone in the flesh. Doesn’t matter how many hot pics you’ve seen of them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is it possible to like someone before you've met them? And I don't just mean in a sexual, I'd really like to be dicked by/dick you sort of way - can you be friends with someone you've not met previously?
Even on the forums, have you found that you warm to certain people? I know personally I definitely do like some who post on here and we've yet to meet. Or perhaps I like an ideal of them in my head. Not sure.
(I'm not interested in dislike btw, focusing on like today!)"
I have been on here for 5 years and made two really good friends who I've never met but who I genuinely love and value. We've been through lots together and yeah sometimes it can get heated as with all best friends when you care for eachother and thats why meeting just never seemed that important. I value what we have. I don't think we need to change it xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is it possible to like someone before you've met them? And I don't just mean in a sexual, I'd really like to be dicked by/dick you sort of way - can you be friends with someone you've not met previously?
Even on the forums, have you found that you warm to certain people? I know personally I definitely do like some who post on here and we've yet to meet. Or perhaps I like an ideal of them in my head. Not sure.
(I'm not interested in dislike btw, focusing on like today!)
I have been on here for 5 years and made two really good friends who I've never met but who I genuinely love and value. We've been through lots together and yeah sometimes it can get heated as with all best friends when you care for eachother and thats why meeting just never seemed that important. I value what we have. I don't think we need to change it xxx "
Brilliant comment x im the exact same as you in that sense x |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"Oh gosh, yes! I've wonderful friends on here....
I'm hoping that some friendships translate, I'll find out soon enough!
Well at least give me a heads up so I can go cheese shopping first!! "
No cheese shopping needed! It's happening regardless. x
It is nice to see how people have evolved over the forum and to see new friendships blossoming, old ones developing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yes I do think you can make virtual good friends but like many others have said, you never really know them until you’ve looked them in the eye and got d*unk with them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think, for what it's worth, that a lot depends on the person. We all know there are those who are here that log on, window shop, then want to try. But then there are those who window shop, go in, browse, ponder if it will fit right and then spend time ascertaining the pros and cons.
It's the latter that I imagine are more likely to form online connections. I have formed a couple over the years and they are electric, but then that may be because I'm sapiosexual (a term taught to me by someone here following said connection!).
If you are here to genuinely connect then yes I think you can form online friendships, but if you are closed to it. Well, unlikely!
Those who are closed to it though, let me tell you, you are missing out on some incredible build up, exploration, fantasy, fulfillment, pleasure and excitement. It's the virtual equivalent of being blindfolded, restrained, and being teased..... Whatever you think, enjoy! |
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Oh well, I still like you x