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Lying to get what you want
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I read a bob marley book over the weekend and the one quote that stuck with me was.
"The biggest coward of a man is to awaken the love of a woman without the intention of loving her".
I've heard many a story of women receiving messages on fab saying they're beautiful etc and then when they get a thanks but no thanks reply the beautiful woman becomes fat and ugly and I'm sure scammers do the same to men.
The question is how good is your bullsh1t detector ?
Can you post your examples of being lied to to get what they want and did you fall for it ?
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I never really get that.
Lots of guys tell me I’m the best looking woman on fab and they want to spoil me with riches and affection. I have no reason to mistrust them.
I also frequently send money to foreign diplomats because they will be doubling the money I send. I’m still waiting for it to come back, but when it does I’ll be a very rich and beautiful woman. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"I never really get that.
Lots of guys tell me I’m the best looking woman on fab and they want to spoil me with riches and affection. I have no reason to mistrust them.
I also frequently send money to foreign diplomats because they will be doubling the money I send. I’m still waiting for it to come back, but when it does I’ll be a very rich and beautiful woman. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never really get that.
Lots of guys tell me I’m the best looking woman on fab and they want to spoil me with riches and affection. I have no reason to mistrust them.
I also frequently send money to foreign diplomats because they will be doubling the money I send. I’m still waiting for it to come back, but when it does I’ll be a very rich and beautiful woman. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I met and fell in love with a Walter Mitty on here. Not having any military knowledge myself it took 2 years before I twigged, by which time he'd already relocated from the Midlands and moved in with me and my children. |
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My bullshit detector (ie my gut) is very good - now, maybe too good. However, the problem arises when I don't automatically listen to my gut. The only problems I've had have been when I've ignored its grumbling (no, it wasn't trapped wind).
For instance, I had a guy message me asking why I hadn't replied to his last message. I know, I hadn't been on Fab long, I didn't know better, I assumed everyone was honest... My bad. And he was ticking my boxes otherwise, or so I thought.
It turned out however, that he was a compulsive liar, a fantasist and, a full on drama queen and just 
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My first husband was a liar. He lied about every, single, damn, thing. I mean EVERYTHING to the point that if he said it was raining it was wise to go outside and check for yourself. As a result I am able to detect a liar at 100 paces. I also don't believe the messages we get saying I look like a 35 year old and we have the best pictures on here because quite clearly it's not true. We must take some responsibility for believing things that are quite obviously not true. |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
People lie or deceive to get what they want all the time. It can be small things, it can be big things.
If you believe you stand to gain more than you stand to lose then it can be an easy decision to make. |
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"I never really get that.
Lots of guys tell me I’m the best looking woman on fab and they want to spoil me with riches and affection. I have no reason to mistrust them.
I also frequently send money to foreign diplomats because they will be doubling the money I send. I’m still waiting for it to come back, but when it does I’ll be a very rich and beautiful woman. "
Absolutely,
I'm currently the sole surviving family member of an American billionaire that has been killed in a road accident.
What's a couple of grand to do the paperwork when I'm going to be rich beyond belief
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All forms of connection online needs to be taken with a pinch of salt I think, people can have very very different personalities and agendas online.
Sat in the comfort of your own home, with google at your disposal for knowledge or humour with time to think of each response you make.
Keyboard warriors in the world right now sending so much hurtful abuse, I’d love to see how many would say these things face to face.
I think face to face I have a decent radar but some people can be extremely clever with it, online... everyone kept at a distance. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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 That quote is so moving, really got me in the feels.
I think it's best to go with most men/people on here lie. Some lies repeatedly crop up. I'm getting in my old age at detecting a lie but I do still have moments of naivety.
It's difficult being Aspie and dealing with lies - I'm very much black and white in terms of what a person says to me so if a person said they ate cherry icecream, I'd expect them to have eaten cherry ice cream. Later if they said they'd had chocolate I'd be sad. Not because they had chocolate but because it's a silly thing to lie about. |
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" That quote is so moving, really got me in the feels.
I think it's best to go with most men/people on here lie. Some lies repeatedly crop up. I'm getting in my old age at detecting a lie but I do still have moments of naivety.
It's difficult being Aspie and dealing with lies - I'm very much black and white in terms of what a person says to me so if a person said they ate cherry icecream, I'd expect them to have eaten cherry ice cream. Later if they said they'd had chocolate I'd be sad. Not because they had chocolate but because it's a silly thing to lie about."
Sorry that the quote got to you, didn't mean to cause upset
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" That quote is so moving, really got me in the feels.
I think it's best to go with most men/people on here lie. Some lies repeatedly crop up. I'm getting in my old age at detecting a lie but I do still have moments of naivety.
It's difficult being Aspie and dealing with lies - I'm very much black and white in terms of what a person says to me so if a person said they ate cherry icecream, I'd expect them to have eaten cherry ice cream. Later if they said they'd had chocolate I'd be sad. Not because they had chocolate but because it's a silly thing to lie about."
I really get that.
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" That quote is so moving, really got me in the feels.
I think it's best to go with most men/people on here lie. Some lies repeatedly crop up. I'm getting in my old age at detecting a lie but I do still have moments of naivety.
It's difficult being Aspie and dealing with lies - I'm very much black and white in terms of what a person says to me so if a person said they ate cherry icecream, I'd expect them to have eaten cherry ice cream. Later if they said they'd had chocolate I'd be sad. Not because they had chocolate but because it's a silly thing to lie about.
Sorry that the quote got to you, didn't mean to cause upset
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It hit me hard too.
Sad thing is, it happens all too often. |
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"
"The biggest coward of a man is to awaken the love of a woman without the intention of loving her".
"
I the quote! never heard before, definitely says more than it represents.
I sometimes fall for it but don’t stay long when actions don’t match what they say  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The biggest coward of a man is to awaken the love of a woman without the intention of loving her".
Been there with my ex husband, yes I was gullible but learned to spot the lies as the years go by. Now I don’t believe many compliments especially on here. That’s a mixture of having my walls very firmly up and bulls**t detector working x |
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Being lied to to get what they want.
I'll give you a few.
"You're nothing without me"
"You're fucking useless , go on, kill yourself and prove you can get at least one thing right" - that was the moment I realised he really did want me dead, but didn't want my actual blood on his hands.
"NVQ, you know what that means? Nearly very qualified... so fuck all, isn't worth the paper it's written on and if you can't see that then you're way more stupid than I thought" - I still have weird dreams about that one, I often hear people telling me I'm not worth the skin I'm printed on"
So the purpose of those ^ and many many more was to crush me, to have complete control over me to make himself feel better. And yes, for a long time it worked. I suppose it still does because even though he doesn't have any control over me physically now, I have battle scars and my future IS impacted no matter how much I may try to leave it behind me.
So so many lies on here.
Sometimes I play along and see how far they'll take them (but only when I'm feeling mentally indestructible)
Anything from pretending to have spoken to you last night on kik and you giving them your profile name on here, and then when you say that never happened they try to act like they're wanting to help you get to the bottom of it. Creating a situation to try to become your saviour and have you be thankful. No, it didn't work.
I could fill the damn thread with bullshit I've had thrown at me.
I used to want to believe people. I don't anymore.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being lied to to get what they want.
I'll give you a few.
"You're nothing without me"
"You're fucking useless , go on, kill yourself and prove you can get at least one thing right" - that was the moment I realised he really did want me dead, but didn't want my actual blood on his hands.
"NVQ, you know what that means? Nearly very qualified... so fuck all, isn't worth the paper it's written on and if you can't see that then you're way more stupid than I thought" - I still have weird dreams about that one, I often hear people telling me I'm not worth the skin I'm printed on"
So the purpose of those ^ and many many more was to crush me, to have complete control over me to make himself feel better. And yes, for a long time it worked. I suppose it still does because even though he doesn't have any control over me physically now, I have battle scars and my future IS impacted no matter how much I may try to leave it behind me.
So so many lies on here.
Sometimes I play along and see how far they'll take them (but only when I'm feeling mentally indestructible)
Anything from pretending to have spoken to you last night on kik and you giving them your profile name on here, and then when you say that never happened they try to act like they're wanting to help you get to the bottom of it. Creating a situation to try to become your saviour and have you be thankful. No, it didn't work.
I could fill the damn thread with bullshit I've had thrown at me.
I used to want to believe people. I don't anymore.
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Exactly this. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" That quote is so moving, really got me in the feels.
I think it's best to go with most men/people on here lie. Some lies repeatedly crop up. I'm getting in my old age at detecting a lie but I do still have moments of naivety.
It's difficult being Aspie and dealing with lies - I'm very much black and white in terms of what a person says to me so if a person said they ate cherry icecream, I'd expect them to have eaten cherry ice cream. Later if they said they'd had chocolate I'd be sad. Not because they had chocolate but because it's a silly thing to lie about."
Another Aspie here and I'm exactly the same. Taking people at face value is both a blessing and a curse. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having grown up with a pathological liar...I’m pretty good at detecting the bullshit....and incredibly intolerant of it also.
I am skeptics of most...their motives and will over analyse most things said to me. Fortunately I’m rarely wrong though will wait for people to trip themselves up, or put their contradictions to them....I don’t have space for it in my life. I almost expect people to be lying to me.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think I’ve got a fairly good Bullshit detector, generally. I place trust in people until they misunderstand that trust. And if they lie about themselves, that lack of honesty will bother and impact themselves far quicker and longer than it will bother me. Lies largely stem from insecurity and a lack of various things, so I don’t take it personally. Liars aren’t happy, from those kidding themselves about their own issues to transference into other relationships.
Heard the lot I think - from interviewing people for jobs, within all types of relationships, children and adults following very poor decisions trying to minimise things, criminals and friends who are the classic of good natured but lie about stupid things.
Some have been incredible and have made me laugh at how ridiculous they appear |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a tendency to be quite a trusting person with a general willingness to please. Fortunately my husband is the most cynical person I know and reads all my conversations before I send pics or anything like that x |
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"I never really get that.
Lots of guys tell me I’m the best looking woman on fab and they want to spoil me with riches and affection. I have no reason to mistrust them.
I also frequently send money to foreign diplomats because they will be doubling the money I send. I’m still waiting for it to come back, but when it does I’ll be a very rich and beautiful woman. "
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"Having grown up with a pathological liar...I’m pretty good at detecting the bullshit....and incredibly intolerant of it also.
I am skeptics of most...their motives and will over analyse most things said to me. Fortunately I’m rarely wrong though will wait for people to trip themselves up, or put their contradictions to them....I don’t have space for it in my life. I almost expect people to be lying to me. "
Do you find it can be hard to build a meaningful relationship as a result of you constantly being on edge, trying to find a chink in the armour?
I can be quite withdrawn at first but find it a relief when I can just let go and be myself. Perhaps I'm just lucky that no one has really tried to take advantage of that though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I assume pretty much everyone is lying about everything. I don't know if it's to get something from me, or to be nice, or because me knowing xyz is irrelevant to them. Doesn't matter. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Having grown up with a pathological liar...I’m pretty good at detecting the bullshit....and incredibly intolerant of it also.
I am skeptics of most...their motives and will over analyse most things said to me. Fortunately I’m rarely wrong though will wait for people to trip themselves up, or put their contradictions to them....I don’t have space for it in my life. I almost expect people to be lying to me.
Do you find it can be hard to build a meaningful relationship as a result of you constantly being on edge, trying to find a chink in the armour?
I can be quite withdrawn at first but find it a relief when I can just let go and be myself. Perhaps I'm just lucky that no one has really tried to take advantage of that though "
Simply put I don’t really let many people get close...for many many years it’s how I lived, friends that I’ve had since childhood barely knew me until the last few years...having studied psychology, read a spectrum of materials and the work I’ve done, I am changing and more willing to let people in...but as soon as the bullshit starts or my gut tells me somethings not right....I’m gone. |
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"Having grown up with a pathological liar...I’m pretty good at detecting the bullshit....and incredibly intolerant of it also.
I am skeptics of most...their motives and will over analyse most things said to me. Fortunately I’m rarely wrong though will wait for people to trip themselves up, or put their contradictions to them....I don’t have space for it in my life. I almost expect people to be lying to me.
Do you find it can be hard to build a meaningful relationship as a result of you constantly being on edge, trying to find a chink in the armour?
I can be quite withdrawn at first but find it a relief when I can just let go and be myself. Perhaps I'm just lucky that no one has really tried to take advantage of that though
Simply put I don’t really let many people get close...for many many years it’s how I lived, friends that I’ve had since childhood barely knew me until the last few years...having studied psychology, read a spectrum of materials and the work I’ve done, I am changing and more willing to let people in...but as soon as the bullshit starts or my gut tells me somethings not right....I’m gone. "
I think it's good that you're trying to open yourself up a bit more, I never had the easiest time making friends so it's something I've tried working on too. Even though your gut instinct can be right, I hope it can help more than it hinders |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All forms of connection online needs to be taken with a pinch of salt I think, people can have very very different personalities and agendas online.
Sat in the comfort of your own home, with google at your disposal for knowledge or humour with time to think of each response you make.
Keyboard warriors in the world right now sending so much hurtful abuse, I’d love to see how many would say these things face to face.
I think face to face I have a decent radar but some people can be extremely clever with it, online... everyone kept at a distance. "
omg, are people googling their banter? 
my whole world is a lie haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i’ve gone through phases in life where i was too naive and phases where i was too distrusting
neither work well for building meaningful connections
i think i’ve finally found a balance where i have a healthy level of scepticism without letting it rule all my interactions - i take people mostly at their word and face value until they give me a reason to do otherwise , while keeping half an eye out for the obvious and repetitive red flags |
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my ex was horrific lied about everything, literally, nothing was ever him either to the point he had managed to shift blame for something very serious from himself to his brother, getting all their family to disown the brother. (happened before me & only found out full extent afterwards)
me on the other hand, cannot remember what I was saying 2 seconds ago (all day every day issue) never mind lie, I would literally forget 2 secs after I told it so I just don't. brutally honest and an a pretty open book. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All forms of connection online needs to be taken with a pinch of salt I think, people can have very very different personalities and agendas online.
Sat in the comfort of your own home, with google at your disposal for knowledge or humour with time to think of each response you make.
Keyboard warriors in the world right now sending so much hurtful abuse, I’d love to see how many would say these things face to face.
I think face to face I have a decent radar but some people can be extremely clever with it, online... everyone kept at a distance.
omg, are people googling their banter?
my whole world is a lie haha "
Haha oh absolutely! I’ve no doubt in my mind people will google about a subject to seem more educated and wise haha, get them face to face and see just how insightful they are.
Yes this may be the side of me that keeps people at distance, but until then I reserve judgement
People can be extremely good with words too! But then lack social interpersonal skills, and in my experience the ones who maybe a little less bothered about what they say, tend to be the more genuine. So will come across wrong online, but more likeable in person... ok I’m just throwing my opinions granted |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My bullshit detector (ie my gut) is very good - now, maybe too good. However, the problem arises when I don't automatically listen to my gut. The only problems I've had have been when I've ignored its grumbling (no, it wasn't trapped wind).
For instance, I had a guy message me asking why I hadn't replied to his last message. I know, I hadn't been on Fab long, I didn't know better, I assumed everyone was honest... My bad. And he was ticking my boxes otherwise, or so I thought.
It turned out however, that he was a compulsive liar, a fantasist and, a full on drama queen and just
"
I think I had this one I didn’t reply to either message thankfully |
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Most common is when people change their profile likes and dislikes to match the person they want to have sex with
Small tell tell things help but if a master deceiver wants to lie to me I'd be hard pressed to realise it |
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