FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Dark jokes please.
Dark jokes please.
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Ok done a few of these and love them. Lets hear your dark jokes today and best 1 liners.
Lets all agree that we wont take offence here too. Were all adults. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How dark can we go ? X |
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Warming up my block button. Let's see who outs themselves this time! |
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By *ty31Man
over a year ago
NW London |
"Ok done a few of these and love them. Lets hear your dark jokes today and best 1 liners.
Lets all agree that we wont take offence here too. Were all adults."
Do Fab admin know that though!!!! |
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Nobody seems to want to put their head above the parapet and take the inevitable flack, so I‘ll start things off.
Can orphans eat in a family restaurant? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whats the difference between a baby and a baked potato.
About 140 calories.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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patiently waiting for Ms Peach to arrive  
Px |
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This would be Frankley Boyles forum |
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How long does a turkey last in a freezer?????. Bout 5 hours |
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How many binary programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
10!
One to hold the ladder and one to change the the bulb.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What did the deaf dumb and blind kid get for Christmas?
Cancer...
Hubby told the nurses this at his oncology appointment last week and it went down a storm. |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
Copyright to Masai Graham, a semi-pro comedian from West Brom, who is worth looking up:
Alan Turing is the perfect choice for the new £50 note as he was also not accepted in most shops.
I wouldn't say my school was that racist but in Maths class there was a lot of division.
I had a call earlier from the school about my daughter's World Book Day costume yesterday! Have they never read 'The Emperor's new clothes'? |
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Why are Women's feet shorter than Mens?
So they can get closer to the kitchen sink.
My Husband used to have 6 inches and a wrinkle, now he's got 6 wrinkles and an inch. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I cant.....I know too many offensive jokes |
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By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
Did you hear about the cannibal that passed his cousin in the woods? |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Why are Women's feet shorter than Mens?
So they can get closer to the kitchen sink.
My Husband used to have 6 inches and a wrinkle, now he's got 6 wrinkles and an inch."
Why do women generally outlive men? They have to tidy up after them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 27/03/21 13:09:17] |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everyone was excited at autopsy club.
Tonight was open Mike night |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How dark are we talking here? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What did stevie wonder say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?
That's the most violent book I've ever read. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to be schizophrenic. But we are alright now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?"
"Africa," says the parrot |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What do you get if you cross prince Charles and the Queen?
Killed in a tunnel. |
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What's the difference between "oooh" and "aargh" --- about 3 inches |
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I got an e-mail from "bored housewife 33 looking for some action". I sent her my dirty laundry. |
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Whats got 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull in a playground |
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We met a lovely Jamaican man who had WENDY tattooed on his cock. We said "Aah that's nice, is that your wife". He said "No, it says WelcomE to Jamaica have a Nice DaY"  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 27/03/21 15:58:51] |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What's the first thing a battered wife does when she gets out of hospital... Da fucking dishes if she knows what's good for her |
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What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo |
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By *ydrewMan
over a year ago
forest |
[Removed by poster at 27/03/21 19:03:47] |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Two peanuts walking down the road.... One was a salted. |
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I hate seeing emos in the bank. They're always cutting in line. |
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My Therapist told me to write letters to everybody I hate and then burn them..... Did that! But now what do I do with all these bloody letters?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well, didn't this thread take off after hubbies cancer joke.. |
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It really did lol.
Been laughing a lot!
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden. |
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Why isn't Michael Jackson very good at playing chess?
Because he's dead. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I somehow managed to send naked pictures to everyone in my mobile telephones address book.
It cost me a fortune in stamps
Boom! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm just bookmarking this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is it me, or is it really hot in here? I'm sweating like Joseph Fritzel on an episode of MTV Cribs. |
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My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This thread is making me think that a game of Cards against Humanity with you all would be a good laugh.
Her x |
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By *hagTonightMan
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
Did anyone see the meme when trump played golf and the ball hit biden on airforce one? It was fun lol. |
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To the k1dnapers who say they took my mother in law- The pinkie you sent is not sufficient evidence for proof of life..... I'm going to need a lot more than that if you ever want to see a Penny! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fabswingers |
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My worse moment was when I was telling the joke about what you do if your epileptic son has a fit in thee bath, Answer is throw in your washing. A men next to me said my son was epileptic and died in the bath, I was so sorry and ashamed and asked him if he had drowned. No he said he chocked on a sock |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fuck me some of these are dark...
Keep em coming  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Look up!
Is it a bird! Is it a plane!
Whatever it is, its heading for the world trade centre! |
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Why can't women ski?
No slope between the bedroom and the kitchen |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
Yeah you would still have to stay within forum rules to add a post, the ones I am removing don't
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How many dyslexics does it take to change a light bulb?
Steven |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Yeah you would still have to stay within forum rules to add a post, the ones I am removing don't
"
https://www.fabswingers.com/content/forum-rules |
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Difference between a working girl and a coffin
You cum in one and go in the other |
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What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
Full |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What you call a dog with no legs?
Anything, but it won't come to you . |
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"Why can't women ski?
No slope between the bedroom and the kitchen"
missed the washing basket ride down the stairs did ya? much quicker than ski's
my ex once told me to take it like a man, no problem I said as I ready myself with a foot long strap on & told him to bend over.
really I should send my son on for this...he's is really dark, he'd have you in stiches, though all laptops broken with spat out tea maybe not a good idea. |
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A box of condoms, please.
That’ll be €6.99
Do you want a bag with it?
Nah I’m OK. She’s actually quite pretty. |
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"Why can't women ski?
No slope between the bedroom and the kitchen
missed the washing basket ride down the stairs did ya? much quicker than ski's
my ex once told me to take it like a man, no problem I said as I ready myself with a foot long strap on & told him to bend over.
really I should send my son on for this...he's is really dark, he'd have you in stiches, though all laptops broken with spat out tea maybe not a good idea."
I been telling that one since secondary school and your the first to point out the washing basket slide |
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I hate the term anal bleaching.
I prefer to say changing my ringtone |
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By *adame BWoman
over a year ago
C'est moi Boudoir |
"What you call a dog with no legs?
Anything, but it won't come to you ."
Where would you find a dog with no legs?
The last place you left it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why did the monkey fall out the tree?
Cuz it was dead . |
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By *athan 123Man
over a year ago
rochdale oldham border |
How does the monkey make its cheese on toast? He puts it under the gorilla |
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"Why can't women ski?
No slope between the bedroom and the kitchen
missed the washing basket ride down the stairs did ya? much quicker than ski's
my ex once told me to take it like a man, no problem I said as I ready myself with a foot long strap on & told him to bend over.
really I should send my son on for this...he's is really dark, he'd have you in stiches, though all laptops broken with spat out tea maybe not a good idea.
I been telling that one since secondary school and your the first to point out the washing basket slide"
maybe cos I can still fit in one like a did as a kid haha....cardboard boxes laid down stairs first is much better
can ya tell me house is a bit wild
hide and seek with kids is fun, told them to count and they've been looking for me ever since....oh wait that was their dads  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I hate the term anal bleaching.
I prefer to say changing my ringtone"
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"Why did the monkey fall out the tree?
Cuz it was dead ."
The world misses you Rik |
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By *melfCouple
over a year ago
Stoneybridge |
Two monkeys in the bath, the first one says
"oooooooohhhoooohhh"
Second one says
"Well put some cold water in then"
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What’s the difference between a Joke and 4 dicks? I heard you can’t take a Joke!!!! |
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"Everyone was excited at autopsy club.
Tonight was open Mike night "
Someone crack open another cold one. |
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Why is 88 the lesbian couples favourite number?
Because they both get 8......  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My wife is telling people that I'm always talking behind her back, and sometimes I'm pushing her around... Ffs sake what does she expect.. She is in a god damm wheelchair. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Then there was the time she asked me to make her feel special... So I gave her a helmet and a box of crayons.. |
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By *ltrMan
over a year ago
sheffield |
Why do women get married in white
Because all good domestic appliances come in white
Sorry  |
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What's green and smells of pork?
Kermit's finger. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
Ok I think this needs to stop now
To clarify, illegal activities are not allowed on the forum even in jest. |
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