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Hold your tongue
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By *igsy8 OP Man
over a year ago
Accrington |
In an age where everything offends someone, a few times now ive caught myself sometimes censoring my language sometimes thinking about how appropriate or problematic it maycome over. Anyone else? I admire people who speak exactly their mind but if dr suess can be cast asunder what are the stakes or mistakes to be . |
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Nobody can be 100% PC.
You are always going to offend somebody in the world...
It is human nature to notice difference and express their fears of the unknown quantity.
It will take generations before we truely respect each and every individual of the world.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is right that we pay consideration to what words leave our mouths
On a forum like this, that is even more important because there is so much that can be lost / misconstrued / misunderstood in the written word |
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"In an age where everything offends someone, a few times now ive caught myself sometimes censoring my language sometimes thinking about how appropriate or problematic it maycome over. Anyone else? I admire people who speak exactly their mind but if dr suess can be cast asunder what are the stakes or mistakes to be ."
The Dr Seuss company censored the self. No one came for them and they took 6 relatively unknown books off the market.
I think it's good that you consider how your language may ofend some people and adapt it.
Those in the 'I am what I am, I say what I want' camp often say stuff to purposely offend just for shuts and giggles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally I think it's a sign of personal growth to be able to reconsider our use of language when made aware of the impact it can have on others."
I agree with this. And recognising intent where there are those moments that are clumsy rather than hateful etc. I know several people of particular races who label or joke using language that others would be called out for, but they are far more open to these kind of discussions than their previous generations, so are progressing, even if not at the right speed or ‘ideals’ etc. |
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"No always speak my mind and don’t care who it offends . I’ve no time for snowflakes . We are all individuals and all entitled to an opinion "
Opinions are like arse holes. Everyone has them but we don't always want to see them   |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
While you shouldn't ever feel you can't say something, or express an opinion, for fear of offending if you truly believe in what you are saying, it should be balanced with consideration for others (to a degree) and of course some things just really should never be said as they go against what is generally held to be acceptable.
That said if you state thoughts with balance and reasoning, and follow the above, you are of course entitled to express them just as much as the next person is entitled to express theirs.
As Bussy said though, the problem on sites like this is so much is open to being misunderstood, misconstrued or misinterpreted, particularly on contentious threads that at times you question if it is worth posting.
Likewise there are some people whose views are so polarised that you know it's pointless offering a different opinion to theirs because it will either be dismissed out of hand or shut down rather than actually discussing the point. |
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"Personally I think it's a sign of personal growth to be able to reconsider our use of language when made aware of the impact it can have on others.
I agree with this. And recognising intent where there are those moments that are clumsy rather than hateful etc. I know several people of particular races who label or joke using language that others would be called out for, but they are far more open to these kind of discussions than their previous generations, so are progressing, even if not at the right speed or ‘ideals’ etc. "
Absolutely. I grew up with some words just being the word used for something. They weren't in any way words specifically used to hurt and at the time were the only words I knew for those situations. As an adult I've learnt that some of them are upsetting and hurtful to people and I've learnt what alternatives they prefer. It doesn't mean I used to be a bad person, just lacking in knowledge at the time. When equiped with new information, I reassesed and made a decision to change my language when better terms were made available to me. |
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I find myself holding back on what I say, and the place I do that the most is on here.
With my family and friends they know me extremely well, and know I would never say anything intentionally to offend or upset anyone. On here however, words typed here in the forum can be misinterpreted, and not everyone has the same humor either which can lead to things being taken the wrong way.
People can also be more vulnerable and susceptible to reading too much into things on here, than if said in person face to face.
One wrong word on here can have you shot down, without people giving you chance to explain what you mean.
It's much easier being yourself in person with people who know you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I offend people all the time online , always someone getting bent out of shape with something I use as a term / humour .
The biggest ones I get weekly are the angry trans left that go after me over my porn and using terms they don’t like  
Ironically I am trans and have no
Issues with slang terms for promoting content I make if myself .
The other was when I commented about Gina Carano and her beep bop boop tag that made me chuckle . It kicked off a shitstorm for some trans / non-bins but when I explained did they not see the flaw that they tried bullying this person online to adopt labels on Twitter for months prior.
She just had enough and did a joke. , I found it funny not remotely offensive to me as a trans person .
I do feel there is an element of people that are looking for things to get offended over and just push vitriol.
Equally I agree that there is some people that go out of there way to trigger people / groups for no real reason other than clout or being a bellend .
Common sense seems to be lacking the last few years online and in life for some . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I decide to be offended by something, it’s not right the rest of the world has to censor itself because of me. That’s effectively the path we are on.... "
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Plain speaking.
I am an advocate for this but I passed comment in a forum in response to a question and I was banned for 48hrs.
I think the idea of plain speaking is not readily achievable in today’s society. |
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"If I decide to be offended by something, it’s not right the rest of the world has to censor itself because of me. That’s effectively the path we are on.... "
Yes,and it's rather concerning. Nanny state springs to mind. |
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There are still people who want to live in the past and think their opinions are more important than someone else’s right to live in peace.
It’s not too much to ask to just pause for a moment and consider someone else’s feelings or possibly safety, over spouting off allegations that are founded on rumour or spurious news sources. |
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"There are still people who want to live in the past and think their opinions are more important than someone else’s right to live in peace.
It’s not too much to ask to just pause for a moment and consider someone else’s feelings or possibly safety, over spouting off allegations that are founded on rumour or spurious news sources. "
Yes. We live in an interconnected society, and we need to get on together. It's just consideration for each other for the most part. |
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"So, all these people who say exactly what they think one hundred percent of the time... how do they have jobs? "
I think they mean "when they can get away with it", and they'll pretend it's all the time to push back on the idea that other people's feelings matter too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In an age where everything offends someone, a few times now ive caught myself sometimes censoring my language sometimes thinking about how appropriate or problematic it maycome over. Anyone else? I admire people who speak exactly their mind but if dr suess can be cast asunder what are the stakes or mistakes to be ."
Everyone is entitled to speak their mind but how they deliver their opinion is something some need to consider ..  |
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"In an age where everything offends someone, a few times now ive caught myself sometimes censoring my language sometimes thinking about how appropriate or problematic it maycome over. Anyone else? I admire people who speak exactly their mind but if dr suess can be cast asunder what are the stakes or mistakes to be .
Everyone is entitled to speak their mind but how they deliver their opinion is something some need to consider .. "
Everyone is entitled to speak their mind, but others are equally entitled to respond. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"In an age where everything offends someone, a few times now ive caught myself sometimes censoring my language sometimes thinking about how appropriate or problematic it maycome over. Anyone else? I admire people who speak exactly their mind but if dr suess can be cast asunder what are the stakes or mistakes to be .
Everyone is entitled to speak their mind but how they deliver their opinion is something some need to consider .. "
Agree absolutely that delivery is key - however I also think by means of balance there are those whose receipt of that delivery needs to be given the same level of consideration - just because someone offers a different opinion doesn't necessarily make that opinion any less valid or worthy.
Tolerance and acceptance of others is not just a one way street. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In an age where everything offends someone, a few times now ive caught myself sometimes censoring my language sometimes thinking about how appropriate or problematic it maycome over. Anyone else? I admire people who speak exactly their mind but if dr suess can be cast asunder what are the stakes or mistakes to be .
Everyone is entitled to speak their mind but how they deliver their opinion is something some need to consider ..
Everyone is entitled to speak their mind, but others are equally entitled to respond."
Absolutely. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In an age where everything offends someone, a few times now ive caught myself sometimes censoring my language sometimes thinking about how appropriate or problematic it maycome over. Anyone else? I admire people who speak exactly their mind but if dr suess can be cast asunder what are the stakes or mistakes to be .
Everyone is entitled to speak their mind but how they deliver their opinion is something some need to consider ..
Agree absolutely that delivery is key - however I also think by means of balance there are those whose receipt of that delivery needs to be given the same level of consideration - just because someone offers a different opinion doesn't necessarily make that opinion any less valid or worthy.
Tolerance and acceptance of others is not just a one way street."
Sometimes I find that those who openly speak their mind do not like to be challenged back. If we all had the same opinion then life would be boring. As you say tolerance and acceptance is not a one way street. Since I've joined here I've often had my views and way of thinking changed by listening to what others have to say. My way of thinking now in regards certain topics and preferences may certainly be so different in the years to come. We all are constantly evolving if we are open-minded enough to allow it. |
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"In an age where everything offends someone, a few times now ive caught myself sometimes censoring my language sometimes thinking about how appropriate or problematic it maycome over. Anyone else? I admire people who speak exactly their mind but if dr suess can be cast asunder what are the stakes or mistakes to be .
Everyone is entitled to speak their mind but how they deliver their opinion is something some need to consider ..
Agree absolutely that delivery is key - however I also think by means of balance there are those whose receipt of that delivery needs to be given the same level of consideration - just because someone offers a different opinion doesn't necessarily make that opinion any less valid or worthy.
Tolerance and acceptance of others is not just a one way street."
Sometimes though I don't think all opinions are equally worthy and that's something some people have trouble accepting. They all have a right to be voiced but sometimes people who have zero experience of a certain issue think their opinion holds as much weight as those with real, lived experience of something and it very often doesn't. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"In an age where everything offends someone, a few times now ive caught myself sometimes censoring my language sometimes thinking about how appropriate or problematic it maycome over. Anyone else? I admire people who speak exactly their mind but if dr suess can be cast asunder what are the stakes or mistakes to be .
Everyone is entitled to speak their mind but how they deliver their opinion is something some need to consider ..
Agree absolutely that delivery is key - however I also think by means of balance there are those whose receipt of that delivery needs to be given the same level of consideration - just because someone offers a different opinion doesn't necessarily make that opinion any less valid or worthy.
Tolerance and acceptance of others is not just a one way street.
Sometimes though I don't think all opinions are equally worthy and that's something some people have trouble accepting. They all have a right to be voiced but sometimes people who have zero experience of a certain issue think their opinion holds as much weight as those with real, lived experience of something and it very often doesn't. "
Absolutely Lacey which is where open and honest discussion and debate comes into it with *all* concerned being prepared to listen and learn rather than dismissing out of hand |
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"In an age where everything offends someone, a few times now ive caught myself sometimes censoring my language sometimes thinking about how appropriate or problematic it maycome over. Anyone else? I admire people who speak exactly their mind but if dr suess can be cast asunder what are the stakes or mistakes to be .
Everyone is entitled to speak their mind but how they deliver their opinion is something some need to consider ..
Agree absolutely that delivery is key - however I also think by means of balance there are those whose receipt of that delivery needs to be given the same level of consideration - just because someone offers a different opinion doesn't necessarily make that opinion any less valid or worthy.
Tolerance and acceptance of others is not just a one way street.
Sometimes though I don't think all opinions are equally worthy and that's something some people have trouble accepting. They all have a right to be voiced but sometimes people who have zero experience of a certain issue think their opinion holds as much weight as those with real, lived experience of something and it very often doesn't.
Absolutely Lacey which is where open and honest discussion and debate comes into it with *all* concerned being prepared to listen and learn rather than dismissing out of hand "
Sometimes yes but if the discussion is ideal urinal height, I don't think the fellas would learn a great deal from my opinion on the matter. |
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By *ljamMan
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"In an age where everything offends someone, a few times now ive caught myself sometimes censoring my language sometimes thinking about how appropriate or problematic it maycome over. Anyone else? I admire people who speak exactly their mind but if dr suess can be cast asunder what are the stakes or mistakes to be .
Everyone is entitled to speak their mind but how they deliver their opinion is something some need to consider ..
Agree absolutely that delivery is key - however I also think by means of balance there are those whose receipt of that delivery needs to be given the same level of consideration - just because someone offers a different opinion doesn't necessarily make that opinion any less valid or worthy.
Tolerance and acceptance of others is not just a one way street.
Sometimes though I don't think all opinions are equally worthy and that's something some people have trouble accepting. They all have a right to be voiced but sometimes people who have zero experience of a certain issue think their opinion holds as much weight as those with real, lived experience of something and it very often doesn't. "
Agreed. I'll weigh up any argument that comes my way, but many are easy to dismiss and don't deserve respect. Not interested in any hand-wringing even handedness. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"In an age where everything offends someone, a few times now ive caught myself sometimes censoring my language sometimes thinking about how appropriate or problematic it maycome over. Anyone else? I admire people who speak exactly their mind but if dr suess can be cast asunder what are the stakes or mistakes to be .
Everyone is entitled to speak their mind but how they deliver their opinion is something some need to consider ..
Agree absolutely that delivery is key - however I also think by means of balance there are those whose receipt of that delivery needs to be given the same level of consideration - just because someone offers a different opinion doesn't necessarily make that opinion any less valid or worthy.
Tolerance and acceptance of others is not just a one way street.
Sometimes though I don't think all opinions are equally worthy and that's something some people have trouble accepting. They all have a right to be voiced but sometimes people who have zero experience of a certain issue think their opinion holds as much weight as those with real, lived experience of something and it very often doesn't.
Absolutely Lacey which is where open and honest discussion and debate comes into it with *all* concerned being prepared to listen and learn rather than dismissing out of hand
Sometimes yes but if the discussion is ideal urinal height, I don't think the fellas would learn a great deal from my opinion on the matter. "
Oh I don't know...you've seen the start of The Full Monty right?
And of course subject matter is relevant, that goes without saying |
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"In an age where everything offends someone, a few times now ive caught myself sometimes censoring my language sometimes thinking about how appropriate or problematic it maycome over. Anyone else? I admire people who speak exactly their mind but if dr suess can be cast asunder what are the stakes or mistakes to be .
Everyone is entitled to speak their mind but how they deliver their opinion is something some need to consider ..
Agree absolutely that delivery is key - however I also think by means of balance there are those whose receipt of that delivery needs to be given the same level of consideration - just because someone offers a different opinion doesn't necessarily make that opinion any less valid or worthy.
Tolerance and acceptance of others is not just a one way street.
Sometimes though I don't think all opinions are equally worthy and that's something some people have trouble accepting. They all have a right to be voiced but sometimes people who have zero experience of a certain issue think their opinion holds as much weight as those with real, lived experience of something and it very often doesn't.
Absolutely Lacey which is where open and honest discussion and debate comes into it with *all* concerned being prepared to listen and learn rather than dismissing out of hand
Sometimes yes but if the discussion is ideal urinal height, I don't think the fellas would learn a great deal from my opinion on the matter.
Oh I don't know...you've seen the start of The Full Monty right?
And of course subject matter is relevant, that goes without saying "
To you perhaps, it doesn't seem to for some  . |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"In an age where everything offends someone, a few times now ive caught myself sometimes censoring my language sometimes thinking about how appropriate or problematic it maycome over. Anyone else? I admire people who speak exactly their mind but if dr suess can be cast asunder what are the stakes or mistakes to be .
Everyone is entitled to speak their mind but how they deliver their opinion is something some need to consider ..
Agree absolutely that delivery is key - however I also think by means of balance there are those whose receipt of that delivery needs to be given the same level of consideration - just because someone offers a different opinion doesn't necessarily make that opinion any less valid or worthy.
Tolerance and acceptance of others is not just a one way street.
Sometimes though I don't think all opinions are equally worthy and that's something some people have trouble accepting. They all have a right to be voiced but sometimes people who have zero experience of a certain issue think their opinion holds as much weight as those with real, lived experience of something and it very often doesn't.
Absolutely Lacey which is where open and honest discussion and debate comes into it with *all* concerned being prepared to listen and learn rather than dismissing out of hand
Sometimes yes but if the discussion is ideal urinal height, I don't think the fellas would learn a great deal from my opinion on the matter.
Oh I don't know...you've seen the start of The Full Monty right?
And of course subject matter is relevant, that goes without saying
To you perhaps, it doesn't seem to for some . "
I hear you Lacey..I hear you |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
I don’t censor my language, however there are times when I will go to say something and then change my mind and not bother. This happens mainly if I feel my contribution won’t add anything to the conversation or where it is likely to be intentional misinterpreted.
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Plain speaking.
I am an advocate for this but I passed comment in a forum in response to a question and I was banned for 48hrs.
I think the idea of plain speaking is not readily achievable in today’s society. "
This is why Admin don't like people talking about bans on the forum, there is never a whole picture. Answering a post is not against rules, answering a post in a way that breaks those rules is.
If you check out the forum rules you will be able to see what you can and can't post. Please don't mention bans again. If you want to dispute a ban do it from the contact button.
https://www.fabswingers.com/content/forum-rules
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The irony is that a lot of people who claim the right to "speak their mind" regardless of how others might take it, object very strongly to those people speaking their mind.  "
So true! Such is the fickle and hypocritical nature of humans we can dish it, but not take it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In an age where everything offends someone, a few times now ive caught myself sometimes censoring my language sometimes thinking about how appropriate or problematic it maycome over. Anyone else? I admire people who speak exactly their mind but if dr suess can be cast asunder what are the stakes or mistakes to be ."
So you are being self critical and thoughtful. I think that's a good thing. We evolved. |
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By *tephanjMan
over a year ago
Kettering |
Being fairly old I seem to speak my mind a bit more,but I try to curb some of the words I used when younger (they weren't classed as offensive then). I do struggle occasionally. I think we have become a bit PC |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have personally found that most people who describe themselves as blunt and brutally honest are actually just extremely rude and unpleasant people. Yes, it's good to speak your mind but it's not needed sometimes.
I have so much more respect those who think about their words before they speak them. |
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"I have personally found that most people who describe themselves as blunt and brutally honest are actually just extremely rude and unpleasant people. Yes, it's good to speak your mind but it's not needed sometimes.
I have so much more respect those who think about their words before they speak them. "
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