I thought I clearly stated I was straight and only looking for women yet , yes I do get a lot of offers from men. I kindly decline since I'm myself frustrated with ladies not declining kindly. I know they are swamped mind!
90% of my messages and views are from men.
I'm now accepting this as the norm on fab!  |
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Same way they message women even though they clearly ain't what the woman is looking for.
Same way they message women and couples who clearly state they aren't meeting, and won't be meeting.
Coz they have no respect.
However... some bi blokes put straight on their profiles coz they don't want "the stigma of being labelled bi"
So, they're hoping the straight bloke they're messaging is a liar and actually wants a dicking.
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Because so many single men lie and say they are straight when they are actually bi - therefore bi men don't actually know if someone is straight or bi without asking.
Shouldn't be that way of course but that is the plain and simple reason.
If guys don't like getting messages from other guys they can of course use their filters to stop other guys messaging them.
It's really no big deal just deleting unwanted messages though - same as women do with them. |
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"
If a profile says Im not lookin for single men why are men messging men. To me total waist of time and I dont know why they do it
"
I think you've answered the question there OP..."if a profile says"... you are assuming a profile gets read rather than just looking at the pictures. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Improper use of filters!
If i dont want someone to message me i block their gender or set my filters to exclude an age bracket.
When guys moan about guys messaging them i often reply did you block single men? Some say no as they didnt know about the filter. Others like having someone to natter to so they leave it open.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I assume it's people testing the waters, as in see if the person is maybe hiding their sexual orientation or checking if they are "fab straight". But then again, I could be wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I assume it's people testing the waters, as in see if the person is maybe hiding their sexual orientation or checking if they are "fab straight". But then again, I could be wrong. "
Good point |
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"Improper use of filters!
If i dont want someone to message me i block their gender or set my filters to exclude an age bracket.
When guys moan about guys messaging them i often reply did you block single men? Some say no as they didnt know about the filter. Others like having someone to natter to so they leave it open.
"
I agree, if you don't block people from messaging you, they might assume that you want them to message you.
Also, it is a well known fact that lots of people don't read profiles... so if you rely on telling people in your profile, it might fall on deaf ears.
Cal
Cal |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
The two things are completely unrelated. It’s not a case of guys harassing people against their wishes, it’s because bisexual guys get so stigmatised that they’d rather hide their sexuality, than be honest. This means that guys don’t know who is or isn’t interested, so message prospectively.
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"The two things are completely unrelated. It’s not a case of guys harassing people against their wishes, it’s because bisexual guys get so stigmatised that they’d rather hide their sexuality, than be honest. This means that guys don’t know who is or isn’t interested, so message prospectively.
"
Stigmatised or live under the false perception that by hiding their sexuality it increases their chances with those whose preference is not to meet bisexual men, whilst failing to realise that the vast majority are either not bothered by their sexuality or actively seek it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Op presuming a profile has been read, then sone respect is shown, but unfortunately that's not always the case I guess ppl will try thrte luck regardless of what's in a profile....could always use the filters to block |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"The two things are completely unrelated. It’s not a case of guys harassing people against their wishes, it’s because bisexual guys get so stigmatised that they’d rather hide their sexuality, than be honest. This means that guys don’t know who is or isn’t interested, so message prospectively.
Stigmatised or live under the false perception that by hiding their sexuality it increases their chances with those whose preference is not to meet bisexual men, whilst failing to realise that the vast majority are either not bothered by their sexuality or actively seek it."
I think that you’re massively underestimating the extent of biphobic attitudes that people have but I agree with your point |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"The two things are completely unrelated. It’s not a case of guys harassing people against their wishes, it’s because bisexual guys get so stigmatised that they’d rather hide their sexuality, than be honest. This means that guys don’t know who is or isn’t interested, so message prospectively.
Stigmatised or live under the false perception that by hiding their sexuality it increases their chances with those whose preference is not to meet bisexual men, whilst failing to realise that the vast majority are either not bothered by their sexuality or actively seek it.
I think that you’re massively underestimating the extent of biphobic attitudes that people have but I agree with your point"
Not underestimating anything - agree they exist, but also know based on my experiences as a bisexual man here the latter is probably more relevant |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I receive more messages from straight (often married) men than I do from the gay & bi ones put together
"
Ditto and ignore them too - if they can't be "straight" (pun intended) about their sexuality I always wonder what else they're not being upfront about |
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"Same way they message women even though they clearly ain't what the woman is looking for.
Same way they message women and couples who clearly state they aren't meeting, and won't be meeting.
Coz they have no respect.
However... some bi blokes put straight on their profiles coz they don't want "the stigma of being labelled bi"
So, they're hoping the straight bloke they're messaging is a liar and actually wants a dicking.
"
This post right here 
Of course not all the points apply to all single guys |
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It's often said here that people are not always comfortable being 100% honest about their sexuality with themselves and others here and elsewhere. That does leave some people who may be up for more things than face value would suggest. Some people are situationally open to sexual activities, even if they are not attracted to a genders generally too.
I can't speak for bi and gay guys messaging men, they will have to do this. If they don't invest huge amounts of effort to create the well crafted first messages that many do to women and couples, it's possibly a simple copy and paste job. Some people are pretty lazy and it may appeal.
I think much lies in the fact that sexuality and interests lay on a broad spectrum. Some people may dip their toes in the water once or twice but don't really fall within the curious or bi domains. For some, some things once tried are never repeated either.
People also moan because they have little else to talk about. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It goes with the territory. Most of the time it's harmless browsing. If someone tries to message I reply out of courtesy. That usually ends it.
However....occasionally a really convincing Asian ladyboy can upset my sang froid.
I expect the reason it's so rife is because it works. Or they are just comparing profiles and assessing competitive factors.
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"Ask any TV/TS on here how many straight men message them looking for fun. I think gay/bi men know some guys who say they are straight on here are far from it so are trying their luck."
This completely so thank fuck for filters blocking men. If I do ever open my filters for a forum game, my inbox goes nuts even though my bio clearly states I have no interest in men. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I assume it's people testing the waters, as in see if the person is maybe hiding their sexual orientation or checking if they are "fab straight". But then again, I could be wrong. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I d9nt get all the guts complaining they are getting messages from guys, all you have to do is change your settings so men cannot message or wink you.
Sorry but if you haven't got this setting then you are saying you are open for guys to contact you.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, I get messages from guys wanting to possibly get jiggly with me. Does it bother me? No not really, thy are normally polite when I state my case, and they got there own way.
Like most complaints on here, they stand out like bad reviews of restaurants, you know! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Any hole is a goal? Boom boom ciao?
It doesn’t work when playing football though..you could end up loosing if you don’t know what team you are on.  "
Still scored tho  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Any hole is a goal? Boom boom ciao?
It doesn’t work when playing football though..you could end up loosing if you don’t know what team you are on.
Still scored tho "
Yeh but, who’s cheering? |
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