FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Are you shyer on here or in real life ??
Are you shyer on here or in real life ??
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A conversation I had yesterday got me to thinking on this .
If you were really honest do you come across as confident on fab but are actually quite shy in person , or are you rather quiet in here but come to life in real life meets or social situations?
Just musing really xx |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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It depends on the social situation really - if I'm uncomfortable and unfamiliar with my surroundings I'll probably be a bit overwhelmed and might come across as shy - joys of being Aspie.
If I'm feeling positive in myself and comfortable with those I'm with I'm confident.
Not sure if that makes any sense.
Most of the time I'm relatively confident for a short answer!  |
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"It depends on the social situation really - if I'm uncomfortable and unfamiliar with my surroundings I'll probably be a bit overwhelmed and might come across as shy - joys of being Aspie.
If I'm feeling positive in myself and comfortable with those I'm with I'm confident.
Not sure if that makes any sense.
Most of the time I'm relatively confident for a short answer! "
I understood perfectly Meli and thankyou xx |
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I’m quiet, restrained in real life like I am here until I get to know someone.
However, I do have the confidence to say hi, start a conversation in person but I’ve been like that since a child, don’t wait for things to happen or appear make the first move. |
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"I’m quiet, restrained in real life like I am here until I get to know someone.
However, I do have the confidence to say hi, start a conversation in person but I’ve been like that since a child, don’t wait for things to happen or appear make the first move. "
And you know your films better than me too |
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What is this 'shy' you speak of?
I jest. If people admit they like me in a romantic sense I'm all   coz I don't expect it.
Large groups that already know each other, I ain't gonna bound in like tigger after 18 packets of smarties, and it can take me a while to settle.
Doing the job that I do, I've had to overcome it for the most part and I'm great in work, if a curveball gets thrown tho I can get a wobble. |
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"What is this 'shy' you speak of?
I jest. If people admit they like me in a romantic sense I'm all coz I don't expect it.
Large groups that already know each other, I ain't gonna bound in like tigger after 18 packets of smarties, and it can take me a while to settle.
Doing the job that I do, I've had to overcome it for the most part and I'm great in work, if a curveball gets thrown tho I can get a wobble."
That's great honesty Peach and I can understand that totally  |
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"I’m quiet, restrained in real life like I am here until I get to know someone.
However, I do have the confidence to say hi, start a conversation in person but I’ve been like that since a child, don’t wait for things to happen or appear make the first move.
And you know your films better than me too "
Even some that are your favourites  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm shy in any circumstance until I get comfortable in my surroundings and then I'm pretty confident. I read the phrase "introverted extrovert" a while ago and I think that sums me up quote well. |
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"I’m quiet, restrained in real life like I am here until I get to know someone.
However, I do have the confidence to say hi, start a conversation in person but I’ve been like that since a child, don’t wait for things to happen or appear make the first move.
And you know your films better than me too
Even some that are your favourites "
I was tired those days  |
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"I'm shy in any circumstance until I get comfortable in my surroundings and then I'm pretty confident. I read the phrase "introverted extrovert" a while ago and I think that sums me up quote well."
I like that actually  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m less inclined to join more serious conversations on here, in real life I love them but it’s too easy to be misconstrued or inadvertently offend so I tend to have a read and scroll on....
Otherwise I think I’m fairly the same  |
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"I’m less inclined to join more serious conversations on here, in real life I love them but it’s too easy to be misconstrued or inadvertently offend so I tend to have a read and scroll on....
Otherwise I think I’m fairly the same "
Yes I get that, words on a page can be easily misconstrued |
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"I think I'm mostly the same. I tend to blend into the crowd but will engage more on a one to one basis or smaller groups or conversations.
Kx"
Yes totally. A large group if I didnt know everyone can be daunting at first for sure x |
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I’m much more confident in my swinging life than I’m my regular life. I wear the clothes I feel sexier in and I’m comfortable being with like minded people. I find I’m much more reserved and keep to my self in my everyday life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m less inclined to join more serious conversations on here, in real life I love them but it’s too easy to be misconstrued or inadvertently offend so I tend to have a read and scroll on....
Otherwise I think I’m fairly the same
Yes I get that, words on a page can be easily misconstrued "
Exactly!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think I'm more engaged in real life situations, but dip in and out on here. I guess that could be construed as I'm less confident on here, but it's more a case of involvement.
I think I'm generally confident, but then don't want to come across as an arrogant prick so I can end up being quite quiet sometimes. Overthinking much? |
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About the same but mrs4 comes in to her own when meeting others as she hates typing !! and people tend to think mr4 is making up some of the stuff she can and does come out with ..sarcasm is her fave ..  |
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Depends on whether I am dealing with idiots or not, whether in the real world, or in the swinging world. If I've got clowns to bring down a peg or two, then I'm not backward at coming forward, but when I'm around nice people I always treat them with the same respect that I would expect from them, and don't take over the conversation, or do anything that might leave them feeling uncomfortable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think I am the same.
I am a confident woman, this shows in person too
I think I may seem more serious/argumentative on here than in person at times though, as most the time I am happy and laughing x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm always the same, doesn't matter who I'm with or if it's in person or virtual.
I don't know how to be any other way
Lu  "
Exactly what I was going to say!
Her x |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
The thing about SM is that you can pick it up and put it down whenever you want. People can see the picture that people choose to portray. Someone who appears confident on here could be wracked with anxiety and not see the emotional cost.
Some people are genuine, some put up a mask, sometimes the mask matches, sometimes it’s fake. You’re unlikely to get honest answers from fakes of those trying to portray a different picture |
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By *rad670Man
over a year ago
South Lakes |
Shy in real life but more confident since joining the site and not as nervous as I once would have been after chatting with someone for a while, difficult on here if you are just a wallflower so you have to come out of your shell a bit. |
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I’m a shy/introvert person in nature but it doesn’t stay long as soon as I feel mutual attraction there  
I don’t believe it’s related to my confidence because I am a confident person, I know who I am and what I want it’s just case of me not being a flirty chatter and feel weird during awkward silences when happens x |
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Okay had to shuffle off for a while there but thankyou for your answers , it's been extremely interesting to see how people see themselves .
It would take forever to respond to everyone but I do appreciate your answers and honesty |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It depends on who I'm meeting.
On here, I'm usually confident but have found it harder since being away from the forums for a while.
If its a meet, then I'm shy at first, until I feel comfortable in their presence (and confident they aren't about to run away ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have no idea how I come across on fab. In the real world I would say I am more reserved than shy. I'm very selective about who I talk to about anything other than casual conversation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd be more likely to join in conversations in the real world instead of just Reading/listening to other people's responses. I usually get very hesitant, almost critical, about posting responses. Too much time to think about it here whereas in life it just comes out unedited, usually fine too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Pretty much similar. I don't have energy for creating a different persona online. And it will clash with reality eventually. Its also about the growth. I started here very shyly, but that is a thing or the past.
So fairly confident and out there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm definitely more shy and not as confident in real life. I'll happily send a first message to men on here, I'd never approach a guy first in the real world |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm shy in real life. I think I come across as very confident on here but unless I'm comfortable with you, you won't get much conversation from me and I'll be very awkward. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not shy, I am socially awkward
There is a difference
1 on 1 is fine
Put me in a room with a group of people, however, and watch me melt into the soft furnishings and walls |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Really shy on hear and much more confident in real life as I am very good at reading body language
Witch means I can pick up on the tell tail sights some one likes me
Whare on hear can never really tell if they really like you or just playing you for a kick
Or a any holes a gole type thing |
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