FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Loosing interest
Loosing interest
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I'd always ask and check, but it is NSA fun.
Had a friend who went awol, but checked in on him from time to time. Sometimes life just gets hectic and Fab is the last of their worries.
I'd rather someone knew I was thinking about them if they were having tough times.
But if they don't reply/block, you just have to accept that sometimes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What do you do, do you just accept and move on or do you think it’s acceptable to ask the question of what changed "
Depends if you think there's anything to be gained from knowing. It won't change her mind, so unless you're actually planning on learning from the feedback, it's pointless asking I'd say. |
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Just move on, I've been talking to a potential future sub but heard nothing from her since yesterday evening but it's all good.
She's either lost interest or having a busy day with her kid, either way I'm waiting for her to message me as I'm past chasing.
The right people keep in contact at the end of the day. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What do you do, do you just accept and move on or do you think it’s acceptable to ask the question of what changed
Depends if you think there's anything to be gained from knowing. It won't change her mind, so unless you're actually planning on learning from the feedback, it's pointless asking I'd say."
Sorry maybe I should explained this hasn’t happened to me yet, it was just a curious question on how people deal with this situation  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'd always ask and check, but it is NSA fun.
Had a friend who went awol, but checked in on him from time to time. Sometimes life just gets hectic and Fab is the last of their worries.
I'd rather someone knew I was thinking about them if they were having tough times.
But if they don't reply/block, you just have to accept that sometimes."
I think checking in is very nice thing as it shows you cared |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Presuming you're referring to someone you've met or been chatting to on here losing interest, it very much depends on the nature of the "relationship" - sometimes things just fizzle naturally, sometimes if you know each other well enough it's worth asking the question.
Sometimes there can be misunderstanding on both sides with both thinking the other is "losing interest" and backing off when it's not actually what either wants.
Sometimes real life happens and means things like here go on the back burner for a while.
Only someone involved can know the right answer and even then it can be a minefield.
Whether you just accept it and move on is up to you entirely, sometimes it's the best thing to do, others it's worth seeing if things can be rekindled, but only you can know the answer, and have to be prepared to accept the consequences if you push for one from the other person concerned. |
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I’m a really erratic communicator and often go awol mid conversation when life gets tricky. Those that know me understand that it’s not them, it’s just how I cope when other things are going on. So often it’s not about losing interest it’s just the times we are in.. nobody is meeting, there’s no date to look forward to so it’s just conversation until things change. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends on what it is
If it’s fab related then I just movie on it was what it was a bit off nsa fun on to the next one
If it’s more or I feel it could be more then maybe ask questions see if we can work out the trubbles and what not it’s worth a go |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd always ask and check, but it is NSA fun.
Had a friend who went awol, but checked in on him from time to time. Sometimes life just gets hectic and Fab is the last of their worries.
I'd rather someone knew I was thinking about them if they were having tough times.
But if they don't reply/block, you just have to accept that sometimes."
Ahh I wrote pretty much the same but you worded it better! I’d do this...  |
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"I'd always ask and check, but it is NSA fun.
Had a friend who went awol, but checked in on him from time to time. Sometimes life just gets hectic and Fab is the last of their worries.
I'd rather someone knew I was thinking about them if they were having tough times.
But if they don't reply/block, you just have to accept that sometimes.
Ahh I wrote pretty much the same but you worded it better! I’d do this... "
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Over the last 3/4 months i have been guilty of what would seem like losing interest and for that I would always apologise but I haven't my life has pulled me in all kinds of different directions. It can also be hard to re contact some of those people.
It can always be as simple as that we all have lives and sometimes we lose contact with the people we really never wanted to. Time away as well can always be a great time to reflect. Let them know you are thinking of them thats all you can do mate |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
Most of my conversations on here peter out after one day. If they don't message back I don't even think about it.
If I was talking to someone for a long time on here and they stopped replying, but were still using the site, I would assume they found someone more attractive or interesting, and forget about them.
If they get back in touch weeks or months later, then I'll probably have lost interest in them.
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"Over the last 3/4 months i have been guilty of what would seem like losing interest and for that I would always apologise but I haven't my life has pulled me in all kinds of different directions. It can also be hard to re contact some of those people.
It can always be as simple as that we all have lives and sometimes we lose contact with the people we really never wanted to. Time away as well can always be a great time to reflect. Let them know you are thinking of them thats all you can do mate "
That's fair enough. If someone got back to me after a while of ignoring me and said they had a lot going on etc I would be fine.
But, if they had been chatting on the forums or were online frequently, without any explanation, I would probably no longer be interested.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m a really erratic communicator and often go awol mid conversation when life gets tricky. Those that know me understand that it’s not them, it’s just how I cope when other things are going on. So often it’s not about losing interest it’s just the times we are in.. nobody is meeting, there’s no date to look forward to so it’s just conversation until things change. "
I'm very similar to this and think nothing of picking up after 6 weeks...it goes by in a flash when you are busy with work   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As said above we all have busy lives and things going on and sometimes we have to stop chatting for a while but try to pick up on the conversation when possible. What we find though is we get chatting to someone then they go all quite then a few weeks later message exactly the same things again . |
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"Over the last 3/4 months i have been guilty of what would seem like losing interest and for that I would always apologise but I haven't my life has pulled me in all kinds of different directions. It can also be hard to re contact some of those people.
It can always be as simple as that we all have lives and sometimes we lose contact with the people we really never wanted to. Time away as well can always be a great time to reflect. Let them know you are thinking of them thats all you can do mate
That's fair enough. If someone got back to me after a while of ignoring me and said they had a lot going on etc I would be fine.
But, if they had been chatting on the forums or were online frequently, without any explanation, I would probably no longer be interested.
"
Thats it really its just about understanding that the people do have lives outside and at times can be hectic |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Over the last 3/4 months i have been guilty of what would seem like losing interest and for that I would always apologise but I haven't my life has pulled me in all kinds of different directions. It can also be hard to re contact some of those people.
It can always be as simple as that we all have lives and sometimes we lose contact with the people we really never wanted to. Time away as well can always be a great time to reflect. Let them know you are thinking of them thats all you can do mate
That's fair enough. If someone got back to me after a while of ignoring me and said they had a lot going on etc I would be fine.
But, if they had been chatting on the forums or were online frequently, without any explanation, I would probably no longer be interested.
Thats it really its just about understanding that the people do have lives outside and at times can be hectic "
High five |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it’s really tricky at the moment.
I know I’m struggling with this lockdown, and not feeling particularly chatty or happy, so I’m hibernating a bit, maybe see how things are when things (hopefully) get a bit more normal. |
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"I’m a really erratic communicator and often go awol mid conversation when life gets tricky. Those that know me understand that it’s not them, it’s just how I cope when other things are going on. So often it’s not about losing interest it’s just the times we are in.. nobody is meeting, there’s no date to look forward to so it’s just conversation until things change.
I'm very similar to this and think nothing of picking up after 6 weeks...it goes by in a flash when you are busy with work "
Yup but friends understand this so it’s no big deal! To me that’s perfectly normal!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm terrible for ignoring my chats and just browsing the forums. Sometimes I just don't have it in me to actually interact with people for a few days or so. |
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"I think it’s really tricky at the moment.
I know I’m struggling with this lockdown, and not feeling particularly chatty or happy, so I’m hibernating a bit, maybe see how things are when things (hopefully) get a bit more normal. "
Big love gorgeous. Always have an ear for you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it’s really tricky at the moment.
I know I’m struggling with this lockdown, and not feeling particularly chatty or happy, so I’m hibernating a bit, maybe see how things are when things (hopefully) get a bit more normal. "
This for me too. I'm ok in the forums but just not really up to 1 to 1 messages.
If someone else stopped mailing me I'd just leave it. I wouldn't ask why. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it’s really tricky at the moment.
I know I’m struggling with this lockdown, and not feeling particularly chatty or happy, so I’m hibernating a bit, maybe see how things are when things (hopefully) get a bit more normal.
Big love gorgeous. Always have an ear for you x"
Thank you, beautiful |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think it’s really tricky at the moment.
I know I’m struggling with this lockdown, and not feeling particularly chatty or happy, so I’m hibernating a bit, maybe see how things are when things (hopefully) get a bit more normal. "
This is very true right now it is hard, always here to listen if anyone does want a chat also |
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"What do you do, do you just accept and move on or do you think it’s acceptable to ask the question of what changed "
Your post is not clear but if you're referring to a person who's gone cool 'it' Depends on so many things not the least of which is how long you've been chatting/meeting or whatever. Life goes on outside SH so who knows what he/she have been up to or occupied by. Without knowing a lot more it's impossible to help but this is a swinging site and we've known people who've become rather too familiar, demanding or clingy. There's countless other possibilities too so if it's beating you up why not send a polite, short message to see if eveything's OK and leave it at that if you don't hear back? |
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"Over the last 3/4 months i have been guilty of what would seem like losing interest and for that I would always apologise but I haven't my life has pulled me in all kinds of different directions. It can also be hard to re contact some of those people.
It can always be as simple as that we all have lives and sometimes we lose contact with the people we really never wanted to. Time away as well can always be a great time to reflect. Let them know you are thinking of them thats all you can do mate
That's fair enough. If someone got back to me after a while of ignoring me and said they had a lot going on etc I would be fine.
But, if they had been chatting on the forums or were online frequently, without any explanation, I would probably no longer be interested.
Thats it really its just about understanding that the people do have lives outside and at times can be hectic
High five "
Big tens |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not a nice feeling at all when someone you chatted lots too ghosts you or whatever it is they do but long past trying to figure it out. Move forward it is all you can do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just move on, I've been talking to a potential future sub but heard nothing from her since yesterday evening but it's all good.
She's either lost interest or having a busy day with her kid, either way I'm waiting for her to message me as I'm past chasing.
The right people keep in contact at the end of the day. "
I agree with this, the right people do stay in contact one way or another |
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"I think it’s really tricky at the moment.
I know I’m struggling with this lockdown, and not feeling particularly chatty or happy, so I’m hibernating a bit, maybe see how things are when things (hopefully) get a bit more normal.
This for me too. I'm ok in the forums but just not really up to 1 to 1 messages.
If someone else stopped mailing me I'd just leave it. I wouldn't ask why. "
Same.
Also I know I don't check messages all that much which can be seen as ignoring.
I've said it before, I ain't gonna pretend to be happy and jolly and reply to someone saying that when I'm not. I ain't gonna assume they really wanna hear me whinge or reply with "I'm alright just hungry" when that's all I can muster. How many times do people tell others that 1 line replies shows no interest? So, I'll reply with something they may be interested in reading when I'm ready and not lying to keep them happy. |
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"I think it’s really tricky at the moment.
I know I’m struggling with this lockdown, and not feeling particularly chatty or happy, so I’m hibernating a bit, maybe see how things are when things (hopefully) get a bit more normal.
This for me too. I'm ok in the forums but just not really up to 1 to 1 messages.
If someone else stopped mailing me I'd just leave it. I wouldn't ask why.
Same.
Also I know I don't check messages all that much which can be seen as ignoring.
I've said it before, I ain't gonna pretend to be happy and jolly and reply to someone saying that when I'm not. I ain't gonna assume they really wanna hear me whinge or reply with "I'm alright just hungry" when that's all I can muster. How many times do people tell others that 1 line replies shows no interest? So, I'll reply with something they may be interested in reading when I'm ready and not lying to keep them happy. "
I'll add to that, I may not be losing interest in the person, but lost motivation in life in general, and that impacts many areas. Things aren't always so simple as "they've lost interest" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tend to make the decision for them
If I pick up the slightest whiff of reservation in a response, I tend to give them up as a lost cause
I'm not here to flog dead horses or force conversations into deadlock
The downside, of course, is that by default, I will lose touch with those that are interested and think it is me that has lost the interest |
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I’m an absolute disaster to text or message with work home life and hobbies I literally never stop unless I’ve planned time out for myself. I’ve been lucky enough through Covid that my work actually got busier to |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I think it’s really tricky at the moment.
I know I’m struggling with this lockdown, and not feeling particularly chatty or happy, so I’m hibernating a bit, maybe see how things are when things (hopefully) get a bit more normal. "
This for me. I find one to one conversations really hard when I'm in this kind of place. I just hope the people I talk to understand I'm not avoiding them, I'm just hiding from people in a crowd |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it’s really tricky at the moment.
I know I’m struggling with this lockdown, and not feeling particularly chatty or happy, so I’m hibernating a bit, maybe see how things are when things (hopefully) get a bit more normal.
This for me. I find one to one conversations really hard when I'm in this kind of place. I just hope the people I talk to understand I'm not avoiding them, I'm just hiding from people in a crowd "
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"I think it’s really tricky at the moment.
I know I’m struggling with this lockdown, and not feeling particularly chatty or happy, so I’m hibernating a bit, maybe see how things are when things (hopefully) get a bit more normal.
This for me. I find one to one conversations really hard when I'm in this kind of place. I just hope the people I talk to understand I'm not avoiding them, I'm just hiding from people in a crowd "
Yep me too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it’s really tricky at the moment.
I know I’m struggling with this lockdown, and not feeling particularly chatty or happy, so I’m hibernating a bit, maybe see how things are when things (hopefully) get a bit more normal.
This for me. I find one to one conversations really hard when I'm in this kind of place. I just hope the people I talk to understand I'm not avoiding them, I'm just hiding from people in a crowd
Yep me too "
I think a few of us can identify x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it’s really tricky at the moment.
I know I’m struggling with this lockdown, and not feeling particularly chatty or happy, so I’m hibernating a bit, maybe see how things are when things (hopefully) get a bit more normal.
This for me too. I'm ok in the forums but just not really up to 1 to 1 messages.
If someone else stopped mailing me I'd just leave it. I wouldn't ask why.
Same.
Also I know I don't check messages all that much which can be seen as ignoring.
I've said it before, I ain't gonna pretend to be happy and jolly and reply to someone saying that when I'm not. I ain't gonna assume they really wanna hear me whinge or reply with "I'm alright just hungry" when that's all I can muster. How many times do people tell others that 1 line replies shows no interest? So, I'll reply with something they may be interested in reading when I'm ready and not lying to keep them happy. "
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If it's no strings, then you accept when it ends and move on.
If it's about pre-meet interest, then you should realistically expect that most initial basic matches will not be sustained, once you get to know each other better, because most people are not that compatible with each other. |
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