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People's fab expectations or demands
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Do you sometimes read a profile and think wtf are you doing on here when you look at the long list of what they want or expect and the hoops they want prospective meets to jump through or am I just being a grouchy old got lol |
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Not really.
If they want what they want then fair play for not settling for less than that.
If they have huge expectations that will be difficult to meet and then whinge about it, that's a different matter. |
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By *icearmsMan
over a year ago
KIDLINGTON |
"Do you sometimes read a profile and think wtf are you doing on here when you look at the long list of what they want or expect and the hoops they want prospective meets to jump through or am I just being a grouchy old got lol"
You need to go to circus school.. it'll help no end with the hoop jumping, and you never know when you'll be requested to lion tame or drive a Comedy fire engine.  |
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To be fair I shy away from diva profiles but when they post what a shit site this is and why can't they find what they want I think maybe you should tone down your expectations a little but then again I suppose like you say it's their wants |
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If I want chocolate cake sprinkled with fairy fart and yak spunk, I know the chances of me getting it are slim, however if a custard tart doesn't tickle my taste buds then it doesn't tickle my taste buds. |
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"If I want chocolate cake sprinkled with fairy fart and yak spunk, I know the chances of me getting it are slim, however if a custard tart doesn't tickle my taste buds then it doesn't tickle my taste buds. "
that made me chuckle  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be fair I shy away from diva profiles but when they post what a shit site this is and why can't they find what they want I think maybe you should tone down your expectations a little but then again I suppose like you say it's their wants "
Tell them good luck and sayonara |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Sometimes I do think excessive hoop jumping is just that. However, the way they do things doesn't have an effect on me. It clearly makes them happy and maybe they've found that willing performing seal before. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
As Frida said; it’s a good way of knowing that you’re not compatible, which is exactly the point!
People are here for fantasy fulfilment, they don’t want ‘OK’ they don’t want ‘that’ll do’. If that doesn’t include you, then there are other profiles for you to engage with |
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By *rder66Man
over a year ago
Tatooine |
"Do you sometimes read a profile and think wtf are you doing on here..."
Then this comes down to your personnal expectations of what Fab should be. Who am I to say if someone should be here or not.
Some people would say I shouldn't be here but their opinion means nothing to me.
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"To be fair I shy away from diva profiles but when they post what a shit site this is and why can't they find what they want I think maybe you should tone down your expectations a little but then again I suppose like you say it's their wants "
If I want chocolate and all that's on offer is wine gums, I don't want wine gums, I want chocolate. Doesn't mean I won't look for chocolate. (Or that wine gums are bad. I just want chocolate not wine gums) |
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"If I want chocolate cake sprinkled with fairy fart and yak spunk, I know the chances of me getting it are slim, however if a custard tart doesn't tickle my taste buds then it doesn't tickle my taste buds. "
Or this  |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
I decided to become very demanding ,or should I say, intolerant of people on here?
No more Mrs Nice Woman.
Doesn't seem to have made much difference, but I get to ignore people now without feeling bad. |
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"I decided to become very demanding ,or should I say, intolerant of people on here?
No more Mrs Nice Woman.
Doesn't seem to have made much difference, but I get to ignore people now without feeling bad."
Oh I remember trying to be nice on here. That was a shit show |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I understand most demands, especially from women. I think they hope it'll filter out any undesirables. It's the one's who ask for your message to be interesting but have little, if any, information on their profile to start a conversation about. |
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I’m all for profiles that state exactly what they’re looking for, even down to precisely what that person should look like. At least you know if you’re messaged by that person a meet may be more genuine than the ‘I’ll meet anyone’ profiles that take minutes to create.
I’m here for my own specific desires and hope that they match another on here. So I don’t want to waste anyone’s time building a relationship that’s going nowhere for either party.
So the more specific that person’s profile is, the more I’m interested in them if we match  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be fair I shy away from diva profiles but when they post what a shit site this is and why can't they find what they want I think maybe you should tone down your expectations a little but then again I suppose like you say it's their wants
If I want chocolate and all that's on offer is wine gums, I don't want wine gums, I want chocolate. Doesn't mean I won't look for chocolate. (Or that wine gums are bad. I just want chocolate not wine gums)"
I love chocolate and wine gums |
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"I understand most demands, especially from women. I think they hope it'll filter out any undesirables. It's the one's who ask for your message to be interesting but have little, if any, information on their profile to start a conversation about."
I would get told it's a sex sight not skool (sic) when I hoped people would work off my profile. But I have stuff to work with  |
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"Not really.
If they want what they want then fair play for not settling for less than that.
If they have huge expectations that will be difficult to meet and then whinge about it, that's a different matter. "
This |
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"To be fair I shy away from diva profiles but when they post what a shit site this is and why can't they find what they want I think maybe you should tone down your expectations a little but then again I suppose like you say it's their wants
If I want chocolate and all that's on offer is wine gums, I don't want wine gums, I want chocolate. Doesn't mean I won't look for chocolate. (Or that wine gums are bad. I just want chocolate not wine gums)
I love chocolate and wine gums "
Me too
But obviously, I'm going for, two different but somewhat comparable items.
If I don't see what I like, I don't buy sweets/have an early night and a wank. I don't need to eat sweets/go out shagging. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"I decided to become very demanding ,or should I say, intolerant of people on here?
No more Mrs Nice Woman.
Doesn't seem to have made much difference, but I get to ignore people now without feeling bad.
Oh I remember trying to be nice on here. That was a shit show "
I used to reply to every message, regardless. I'm too tired to do that now so I limit who can message as much as possible, and ignore the ones who obviously haven't read my profile.
I'm too old to waste time saying no thank you |
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These are my 3 favourite figs demands and the reasons why they are:-
Won't replay to any messages who don't have profile pictures; but they have non of there own
Won't respond to profiles with recent meet verification or who has loads of verification s;but there last verification was over a year ago or they have a list longer than the Mersey tunnel |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
It's their profile they can write whatever they want on it.But in saying that only you can agree to jump through hoops no one can make you.
Personally I avoid profiles that have a load of demands because I know we would not be compatible.And I also won't jump through hoops to meet anyone nor would I expect anyone to do it to meet me. I prefer to chat get to know someone and then meet if we get on .(pre covid of course ). |
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"These are my 3 favourite figs demands and the reasons why they are:-
Won't replay to any messages who don't have profile pictures; but they have non of there own
Won't respond to profiles with recent meet verification or who has loads of verification s;but there last verification was over a year ago or they have a list longer than the Mersey tunnel"
At the moment there's a damn good reason why any meet veris were a year or more ago... |
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"These are my 3 favourite figs demands and the reasons why they are:-
Won't replay to any messages who don't have profile pictures; but they have non of there own
Won't respond to profiles with recent meet verification or who has loads of verification s;but there last verification was over a year ago or they have a list longer than the Mersey tunnel
At the moment there's a damn good reason why any meet veris were a year or more ago..."
I'm speaking pre covid |
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"I decided to become very demanding ,or should I say, intolerant of people on here?
No more Mrs Nice Woman.
Doesn't seem to have made much difference, but I get to ignore people now without feeling bad.
Oh I remember trying to be nice on here. That was a shit show
I used to reply to every message, regardless. I'm too tired to do that now so I limit who can message as much as possible, and ignore the ones who obviously haven't read my profile.
I'm too old to waste time saying no thank you "
Yup. And I'm way too old to waste my time with grown adults who can't handle no thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I decided to become very demanding ,or should I say, intolerant of people on here?
No more Mrs Nice Woman.
Doesn't seem to have made much difference, but I get to ignore people now without feeling bad.
Oh I remember trying to be nice on here. That was a shit show
I used to reply to every message, regardless. I'm too tired to do that now so I limit who can message as much as possible, and ignore the ones who obviously haven't read my profile.
I'm too old to waste time saying no thank you
Yup. And I'm way too old to waste my time with grown adults who can't handle no thank you"
An did they can’t handle no thanks in a message, that doesn’t bode well for actually meeting? |
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"I decided to become very demanding ,or should I say, intolerant of people on here?
No more Mrs Nice Woman.
Doesn't seem to have made much difference, but I get to ignore people now without feeling bad.
Oh I remember trying to be nice on here. That was a shit show
I used to reply to every message, regardless. I'm too tired to do that now so I limit who can message as much as possible, and ignore the ones who obviously haven't read my profile.
I'm too old to waste time saying no thank you
Yup. And I'm way too old to waste my time with grown adults who can't handle no thank you"
the perfect answer |
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"I decided to become very demanding ,or should I say, intolerant of people on here?
No more Mrs Nice Woman.
Doesn't seem to have made much difference, but I get to ignore people now without feeling bad.
Oh I remember trying to be nice on here. That was a shit show
I used to reply to every message, regardless. I'm too tired to do that now so I limit who can message as much as possible, and ignore the ones who obviously haven't read my profile.
I'm too old to waste time saying no thank you
Yup. And I'm way too old to waste my time with grown adults who can't handle no thank you
An did they can’t handle no thanks in a message, that doesn’t bode well for actually meeting? "
So much. So, so much. |
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"These are my 3 favourite figs demands and the reasons why they are:-
Won't replay to any messages who don't have profile pictures; but they have non of there own
Won't respond to profiles with recent meet verification or who has loads of verification s;but there last verification was over a year ago or they have a list longer than the Mersey tunnel
At the moment there's a damn good reason why any meet veris were a year or more ago..."
This . And plenty of other reasons why someone would take a year off ... health , family, dating vanilla blah blah blah |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you sometimes read a profile and think wtf are you doing on here when you look at the long list of what they want or expect and the hoops they want prospective meets to jump through or am I just being a grouchy old got lol"
... Absolutely.
Some are ridiculous  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you sometimes read a profile and think wtf are you doing on here when you look at the long list of what they want or expect and the hoops they want prospective meets to jump through or am I just being a grouchy old got lol"
Its their profile and they can do what they like with it. To me when I read some I think jeeze they appear hard work so I just scoot on by them. Take it as an indication as to whether they are worth it or not |
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"These are my 3 favourite figs demands and the reasons why they are:-
Won't replay to any messages who don't have profile pictures; but they have non of there own
Won't respond to profiles with recent meet verification or who has loads of verification s;but there last verification was over a year ago or they have a list longer than the Mersey tunnel"
Yesterday I wanted dr pepper, today I fancy vimto.
There are so many reasons people run their profiles the way they do, I appreciate these things may nag at you, but you don't know the reasons why people do it their way.
Would you feel the same if the person with no profile pics but asked them of others said the reason they don't have pics up is because they were stalked by an ex and are now keeping a low profile or would you feel a bit of an arse and be totally understanding?
It's ok not to like stuff on people's profiles. It's even ok to discuss your whys you don't like it, it helps people learn about each other.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you sometimes read a profile and think wtf are you doing on here when you look at the long list of what they want or expect and the hoops they want prospective meets to jump through or am I just being a grouchy old got lol"
No. What others do doesn't concern me. I wish others paid me the same courtesy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do have people asking wtf I am doing on here and I am not demanding in the slightest! You can be grouchy but keep it too yourself  Some profiles I read do make it all seem like a lot of hard work though, but I guess it works or otherwise it wouldnt be there. |
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Members have a right to state what they want no matter how unlikely they may be to find it. Some are more selective than others and there's nothing wrong with that at all. If a profile is not appealing for some reason then just move on. |
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We've always taken the stance that if somebody has a massive list of requirements, complains about everything or comes across very demanding then that's
A) entirely their perogative
B) a nice easy flag for us to show we're not likely to get on with them in person. But I'm sure someone will.
Ultimately one of the great things about Fab is that people can chose what they want to ask for. Will some of them ever get what they want? Well no, because no body is obliged to do anything they don't want to. No one should have to settle for good enough or what people deem suitable. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
It does bemuse me somewhat when people bemoan how others choose to run their profiles, especially when it doesn't have the slightest impact on the person doing the bemoaning.
All it says to me is that person has unrealistic expectations, and possibly a sense of entitlement, that they could have met the person concerned, which if they don't match couldn't be further from the truth. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We've always taken the stance that if somebody has a massive list of requirements, complains about everything or comes across very demanding then that's
A) entirely their perogative
B) a nice easy flag for us to show we're not likely to get on with them in person. But I'm sure someone will.
Ultimately one of the great things about Fab is that people can chose what they want to ask for. Will some of them ever get what they want? Well no, because no body is obliged to do anything they don't want to. No one should have to settle for good enough or what people deem suitable. "
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People say my profile is too demanding, but it really just boils down to - treat me with respect, have good personal hygiene, don’t be selfish in bed. If that’s too demanding, I definitely don’t want to meet those people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mine (when I had one) could have maybe been seen as demanding by some but there’s a big difference in being demanding and knowing exactly what you want. I’d never demand anything from anyone. I just find it easier to be straight and to the point. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I decided to become very demanding ,or should I say, intolerant of people on here?
No more Mrs Nice Woman.
Doesn't seem to have made much difference, but I get to ignore people now without feeling bad.
Oh I remember trying to be nice on here. That was a shit show
I used to reply to every message, regardless. I'm too tired to do that now so I limit who can message as much as possible, and ignore the ones who obviously haven't read my profile.
I'm too old to waste time saying no thank you "
Well said! |
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The easier it is for everyone to know who is or is not compatible with them, the better . It saves an awful lot of effort and heartache, especially for single men who can typically feel they get a rough deal here. Using whatever tools you have available on the site to fine tune your searches is wise. Sometimes it's as easy as taking the time to read what others have written, for a clear purpose, is all it can take. Or just writing your own profile so that it sells you, instead of seeming like an ingredients list from a manufacturer.
Those who definitely know what they want and have the experience to know how to keep anything else at bay, are going to have less stress each time they log in. Life is too short to have to waste it on countless inappropriate contact messages deletion.
Sure, there will be people here who perhaps have unrealistic expectations - you see it in the forum often - but it can be hoped there's sufficient motivation that we all have, to want to learn and modify our approach as we progress. Do what's right for you and let others do the same |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I use it as a filter when ppl message me first.
If I see some verifications I personally think that I don't meet or fit in, I'll tell them.
It's interesting to see the reaction of ppl you just filtered out due to their long lists of no that are supposed to filter ppl out. |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
People can obviously put whatever they like on their profile, I am only responsible for myself so I pass by any shouty or unpleasant profiles (as I see it).
A persons experience can be much better it they accept others can do what they like and you only need to do what suits you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I thinks ppl judge to quick and make assumptions. I’m always told because I have no verifications it means I’m fake. Could jus mean I don’t wanna fuck at every opportunity. Rant
Over x |
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I've never wondered why anybody's here for those reasons. If a profile is unrealistic it's pretty obvious why they are here. I have certainly thought people they are unlikely to get what they are hoping for. Luke |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People have the right to put whatever they want on a profile (within fab rules).
If you don’t like it or don’t want to read it, then move on.
I have tried numerous different approaches and yet still get the same gaggle of about 80% of people who just don’t read it anyway, or worse, the ‘I know you don’t like this, but thought I’d try anyway’
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