FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Need some real advice
Need some real advice
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Soo I’m a young lad I’m married and I have recently come back into contact with the girl who I’ve honestly loved since infant school I told her how I feel and my situation but I don’t know what to do my wife is brilliant also but this girls just on my mind.
What do I do????
Please only serious advice not in the mood for laughs atm |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Soo I’m a young lad I’m married and I have recently come back into contact with the girl who I’ve honestly loved since infant school I told her how I feel and my situation but I don’t know what to do my wife is brilliant also but this girls just on my mind.
What do I do????
Please only serious advice not in the mood for laughs atm "
How long you been married |
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Difficult! How does the old girlfriend feel? And could u be without the wife? Just weigh it all up b 4 u do anything hasty I would say! And things change it might not b the same with the old girlfriend! Over time we tend to remember stuff with rose tinted specs x |
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You have a wife, you are on a swingers site as a single guy, and you want to hook up with a girl you new years ago.
Something tells us your already not very committed to your wife! Leave her, and go find happiness |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You have a wife! If she's not privy to how you are feeling about the extra lady then its a bit of a pretty big off move !!
I wouldn't do anything privately behind my husband back and I'd be gutted if he did too! |
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When you say back in contact.... How do you mean? If its just a friendly hey how are you are you reading too much into things.
If you're on here and considering doing anything more with this other person then you can't really love your wife. Did you marry her because there was no one else at the time? |
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Green arrow of truth tells a lot, I think you're possibly immature sexually and married to young.
You're only 22 so you can't have been married that long yet you've been on here 2 years looking to cheat on your "brilliant wife" via anyone on fab and now an old primary school class mate has easily turned your head.
Come off fab and get you're head straight, it's not fair on your brilliant wife and if you can't be loyal to her then at least set her free so she can live her best life.
And then when you're single and off fab you can chase your old primary school crush free of guilt(if she's single of course)
Who knows she might be the one but my guess is you'd still always looking at other women.
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You're probably not in love with the girl from infant school, you're probably in love with the idea of her though.
I have no advice for you really because life isn't as simple as just telling someone not to do something.
I read this on here recently
"the grass is only greener on the other side because its watered more often" |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
What do you do?
Take a long hard look at yourself, remove yourself from temptation (including both Fab and seeing this other young lady) and ask yourself what you genuinely want, not only from this situation but life too.
Ask yourself is this an infatuation (I don't honestly believe "love" is possible in the sense you mean it from an infant school age), is it just a temptation because things are going through a bad spell at home, or is it something else?
Remember the grass isn't always greener - so if things aren't right at home, rather than looking elsewhere, perhaps look at what can be done to put them right. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do either her indoors or the rekindled flame know you’re on a recreational sex site?
Perhaps a chat with the Missus is in order to see what’s amiss in the marital relationship before you embark on an affair or delve fully into the world of transient sex?
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The fact that your on this site should really answer your question for you! You don't just need to be honest with your wife you need to be honest with yourself about what you actually want at this moment in time. |
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Do you love your wife ?
Seems you put your own feelings before anyone else.
So my advice for any narcissist would be ...... Do it....
Leave your wife.
You must have what you want. Only you exist.
The pain and the hurt that you cause all of those around you doesn't matter.
Get what you want.
If i've misunderstood and you are not a narcissist and you do love your wife then ignore the advice above and stop asking fucking stupid immature questions.
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"Green arrow of truth tells a lot, I think you're possibly immature sexually and married to young.
You're only 22 so you can't have been married that long yet you've been on here 2 years looking to cheat on your "brilliant wife" via anyone on fab and now an old primary school class mate has easily turned your head.
Come off fab and get you're head straight, it's not fair on your brilliant wife and if you can't be loyal to her then at least set her free so she can live her best life.
And then when you're single and off fab you can chase your old primary school crush free of guilt(if she's single of course)
Who knows she might be the one but my guess is you'd still always looking at other women.
"
This 
LvM |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you love your wife ?
Seems you put your own feelings before anyone else.
So my advice for any narcissist would be ...... Do it....
Leave your wife.
You must have what you want. Only you exist.
The pain and the hurt that you cause all of those around you doesn't matter.
Get what you want.
If i've misunderstood and you are not a narcissist and you do love your wife then ignore the advice above and stop asking fucking stupid immature questions.
"
No then GC a bit on the harsh side I would say? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your wife kinda deserves better dude. A few people have touched on it already - you’re already on fab and you fancy this lassie from infant school. Maybe consider leaving your wife xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Green arrow of truth tells a lot, I think you're possibly immature sexually and married to young.
You're only 22 so you can't have been married that long yet you've been on here 2 years looking to cheat on your "brilliant wife" via anyone on fab and now an old primary school class mate has easily turned your head.
Come off fab and get you're head straight, it's not fair on your brilliant wife and if you can't be loyal to her then at least set her free so she can live her best life.
And then when you're single and off fab you can chase your old primary school crush free of guilt(if she's single of course)
Who knows she might be the one but my guess is you'd still always looking at other women.
This
LvM"
|
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"Do you love your wife ?
Seems you put your own feelings before anyone else.
So my advice for any narcissist would be ...... Do it....
Leave your wife.
You must have what you want. Only you exist.
The pain and the hurt that you cause all of those around you doesn't matter.
Get what you want.
If i've misunderstood and you are not a narcissist and you do love your wife then ignore the advice above and stop asking fucking stupid immature questions.
No then GC a bit on the harsh side I would say?"
Depends on how it's read.
Try to be less harsh in your thoughts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All I am going to say is your “wife” deserves so much better than someone who’s on fab as a single guy looking to cheat on her then wants to cheat on her with some other woman that you Were friends with years ago
She deserves so much better hope she wakes up and kicks your ass to the curb
As you only your self to blame
Maybe as if she like to join in on your swingeing fun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you love your wife ?
Seems you put your own feelings before anyone else.
So my advice for any narcissist would be ...... Do it....
Leave your wife.
You must have what you want. Only you exist.
The pain and the hurt that you cause all of those around you doesn't matter.
Get what you want.
If i've misunderstood and you are not a narcissist and you do love your wife then ignore the advice above and stop asking fucking stupid immature questions.
No then GC a bit on the harsh side I would say?
Depends on how it's read.
Try to be less harsh in your thoughts. "
I would say there is a theme of harshness in the last paragraph. The OP is a youngster ( to me in any event) and at that age narcissism is king of emotions? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having seen a lot of your posts while you’ve been here it’s clear you’re just a young man driven by the need to shag.
You clearly have no loyalty to your poor wife.
You’re clearly too impulsive to be married. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Soo I’m a young lad I’m married and I have recently come back into contact with the girl who I’ve honestly loved since infant school I told her how I feel and my situation but I don’t know what to do my wife is brilliant also but this girls just on my mind.
What do I do????
Please only serious advice not in the mood for laughs atm "
Serious advice:
Decide what you actually want and will commit to.
You're on a swingers site as a single male, while toying with the idea of hooking up with a girl from your past. You don't seem emotionally capable of a relationship with anyone, and not one mention of how your actions effect others involved
Break up with wife, ignore old flame, be single until you can commit to a relationship.
The fact that you're asking total strangers about this makes the point for itself. |
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"Green arrow of truth tells a lot, I think you're possibly immature sexually and married to young.
You're only 22 so you can't have been married that long yet you've been on here 2 years looking to cheat on your "brilliant wife" via anyone on fab and now an old primary school class mate has easily turned your head.
Come off fab and get you're head straight, it's not fair on your brilliant wife and if you can't be loyal to her then at least set her free so she can live her best life.
And then when you're single and off fab you can chase your old primary school crush free of guilt(if she's single of course)
Who knows she might be the one but my guess is you'd still always looking at other women.
"
All of the above! |
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By *20cplMan
over a year ago
Manchester |
Why do you feel the need to ask others on how to live your life? It's rife on this forum at times.
Grow some balls and make a decision. Either leave your wife and everything that goes with it or stick with what you've got.
You're chasing after an old memory. People change, what are you hoping will happen? Spending the time with her eating beans on toast, watching cartoons and making sand castles like you both did when you were 10? |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
There’s a hell of a lot here!
In all honesty, I think that others have pretty much nailed it and without being to harsh, stop being such an idiot!
You’re married, you’re young and clearly not settled or happy with your situation, whether it’s being on here or this old flame. Either way it’s desperately unfair to your wife (who you say is fantastic?!).
Try and be a decent human. If you don’t want to be with your wife, then be honest, tell her and leave. Then you can fuck around as much as you want.
If you do love your wife then commit to her, leave her and stop looking elsewhere.
There isn’t any middle ground or grey area here |
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Agree with the majority. Just one thought for you Op.
if your wife was on here saying the same thing, old flame, previous posts etc..how would that make you feel ?
If you’re not feeling any empathy with that thought, you’re too immature to be in a marriage. |
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Why do you feel you have the right to make all the decisions?
It's your wife's life too right?
Does she not deserve the choice to stay with a husband who, at such a young age and her whole life ahead to make her peace with the lies and breach of trust you'll leave her with, or find someone who may not cheat if she wants to enter into another relationship at all.
You could try couples counselling, that would be my first point of call if you do love her, rather than sticking my dick in someone else.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you have children op?"
This, is this why you married so young?
You're on here looking for others without your wife is this without her knowledge ?
If you answer yes to any of the above then leave your wife it will be a lot less painful for all concerned in the long run |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Soo I’m a young lad I’m married and I have recently come back into contact with the girl who I’ve honestly loved since infant school I told her how I feel and my situation but I don’t know what to do my wife is brilliant also but this girls just on my mind.
What do I do????
Please only serious advice not in the mood for laughs atm "
You want serious educated none opinionated advice based on a few lines of information and no real knowledge... think this is what REAL trustworthy friends and family are for, really don’t think this is the right place to get advice on something this potentially serious. Be far too easy to throw opinions at you |
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