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Favourite Funny TV Quote.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Roger, at Cornell University they have an incredible piece of scientific equipment known as the Tunneling Electron Microscope. Now, this microscope is so powerful that by firing electrons you can actually see images of the atom, the infinitesimally minute building blocks of our universe. Roger, if I were using that microscope right now, I still wouldn't be able to locate my interest in your problem."
I'm still waiting for the opportunity to use this one in real life  |
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""Roger, at Cornell University they have an incredible piece of scientific equipment known as the Tunneling Electron Microscope. Now, this microscope is so powerful that by firing electrons you can actually see images of the atom, the infinitesimally minute building blocks of our universe. Roger, if I were using that microscope right now, I still wouldn't be able to locate my interest in your problem."
I'm still waiting for the opportunity to use this one in real life "
Frasier
Great quote
I've been dying to use it in the forums |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" "You wouldn't recognise a subtle plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked on a harpsicord singing 'subtle plans are here again'.""
Black adder |
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These are both from the same comedy, one of my all time favourites.
1
After socially-awkward Jeff tries to chat up a woman in a bar.. .
Patrick: How did it go?
Jeff: She thinks I collect women's ears in a bucket.
2
Jeff tries to chat up a woman on a train and ends up lying by saying he has a wooden leg.
Woman: What was wrong with your leg? Why did you have to have it amputated?
Jeff: Because it was... rubbish. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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“I know they’ve sent monkeys into space, but do you really think they’ll have one driving a fire engine?”
And, different show, same writers;
“It says here that, when they arrested him, they found a man’s willy in his kettle!” |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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“What happens in the event that figure ‘A’ is attracted to figure ‘B’ and wants to get married. But figure ‘A’ is already married to figure ‘C’ and figure ‘B’ is engaged to figure ‘D’ but figure ‘A’ can’t keep his hands of figure ‘B’ because she’s got such a great figure.” |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"“What happens in the event that figure ‘A’ is attracted to figure ‘B’ and wants to get married. But figure ‘A’ is already married to figure ‘C’ and figure ‘B’ is engaged to figure ‘D’ but figure ‘A’ can’t keep his hands of figure ‘B’ because she’s got such a great figure.”"
I am guessing no one knows this one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"“What happens in the event that figure ‘A’ is attracted to figure ‘B’ and wants to get married. But figure ‘A’ is already married to figure ‘C’ and figure ‘B’ is engaged to figure ‘D’ but figure ‘A’ can’t keep his hands of figure ‘B’ because she’s got such a great figure.”
I am guessing no one knows this one"
I want to say Mash but I'm not 100 per cent on it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"“What happens in the event that figure ‘A’ is attracted to figure ‘B’ and wants to get married. But figure ‘A’ is already married to figure ‘C’ and figure ‘B’ is engaged to figure ‘D’ but figure ‘A’ can’t keep his hands of figure ‘B’ because she’s got such a great figure.”
I am guessing no one knows this one
I want to say Mash but I'm not 100 per cent on it "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"“What happens in the event that figure ‘A’ is attracted to figure ‘B’ and wants to get married. But figure ‘A’ is already married to figure ‘C’ and figure ‘B’ is engaged to figure ‘D’ but figure ‘A’ can’t keep his hands of figure ‘B’ because she’s got such a great figure.”
I am guessing no one knows this one
I want to say Mash but I'm not 100 per cent on it
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Phoenix Nights, but there’s soo many!
Got to be Brian Potter ‘well I want to moonwalk son, but life’s a shithouse’
Would no doubt get plenty of PC complaints nowadays. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" "You wouldn't recognise a subtle plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked on a harpsicord singing 'subtle plans are here again'.""
Blackadder? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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“Well may I ask what you expected to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically across the plain!”
Basil Fawlty - Ledgend ! |
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