FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Do you ever regret choosing to be single?
Do you ever regret choosing to be single?
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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
I have always been single and I have chosen to be it. I dont regret my decision as I like my own company and prefer it, also that you can do what you want when you want it, ofcourse, from time to time I do wonder how it would of been to have a relationship, but that thought quickly goes away |
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I haven't always been single, but I'm choosing to be now. I have been wondering lately whether a relationship would be worth the hassle but I think that's just lockdown loneliness.
I suspect when we are allowed to socialise again then I'll be fine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I haven't always been single, but I'm choosing to be now. I have been wondering lately whether a relationship would be worth the hassle but I think that's just lockdown loneliness.
I suspect when we are allowed to socialise again then I'll be fine. "
I didn't choose to be single. But it's not bad I got use to it |
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I’ve been single for over half my adult life, by choice, as it was the right thing for me and those around me.
What I would say though is don’t close your mind off completely to being with someone else, you could miss out on something wonderful. When the time is right you won’t even think about it, as will feel completely natural to let someone in again, without question. |
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I didn't choose to be single. I was married for a very long time.
I wan't to stay single.
I'd never take someone on like people take on puppies. I think even if I loved them i'd prefer we lived seperately.
As I age I love more people ..... it's amazing. I don't mean I fuck them all.
Living together in isolation is what brings lonliness when one partner leaves or dies.
Don't keep your love for one person ...... ( i don't mean fuck the universe you numpties ) |
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P.S.
I am never lonely. I just don't live with one love and I am happy to be amongst those types that feels whole without clinging to someone else for completion , which is societies ideal, not mine. |
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"P.S.
I am never lonely. I just don't live with one love and I am happy to be amongst those types that feels whole without clinging to someone else for completion , which is societies ideal, not mine. "
Spot on with both of your posts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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After two long term relationships I've decided to stay single. But if a relationship happens it happens. I don't regret my decision. I think I've got a good set of reasons why and I think it's going to take an awful lot for someone to change my mind.
I like my freedom and choices and space too much now
Maybe when I'm older and it's just me here I might be different.
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I’ve been single for over half my adult life, by choice, as it was the right thing for me and those around me.
What I would say though is don’t close your mind off completely to being with someone else, you could miss out on something wonderful. When the time is right you won’t even think about it, as will feel completely natural to let someone in again, without question. "
Nicely said.
I find that a lot of people become entrenched in a certain way of being and close themselves off to other possibilities. If they’re single, they’re closed to meeting someone or so desperate to meet someone, they can’t see the wood for the trees. If they’re in a relationship, they’re so scared of being alone that they hold onto a bad relationship, when being single would be happier |
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No.
It would mean I was either still in an abusive relationship or in a long distance relationship with someone who was living a double life.
Both were soul crushing.
I regret that when it comes to relationships I'm drawn to people that are bad for me.
So no, I don't regret making the choice to be single and do what's best for me, my physical health and my mental health. |
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By *adame BWoman
over a year ago
C'est moi Boudoir |
"P.S.
I am never lonely. I just don't live with one love and I am happy to be amongst those types that feels whole without clinging to someone else for completion , which is societies ideal, not mine.
Spot on with both of your posts. "
Absolutely agree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm single but have been in relationships which have got serious... I find it hard to adjust to considering what another human needs and is doing at first, comes across as I'm selfish when I'm. Really not.
But regular sex is a plus lol |
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I'm glad i experienced a marriage and got 3 great kids out of it but also glad that I'm no longer in it and haven't been for almost two decades. I don't know if i could ever be in a serious monogamous relationship again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m not single by choice, I had a breakup and then I was too busy to find a relationship.
I’m starting to quite like being single, beating in mind I haven’t been single for more that a month or two since I was a teen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"P.S.
I am never lonely. I just don't live with one love and I am happy to be amongst those types that feels whole without clinging to someone else for completion , which is societies ideal, not mine. "
Spot on Granny
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I've always preferred the single life, like you said can do what you want whenever you want, don't have to answer to anyone. Relationships are fun for the first little while but it soon becomes a hassle which unless you've been lucky enough to find someone awesome it's a hassle totally not worth putting up with. |
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16 years in a relationship and now 4 years single. I’ve seen the advantages and disadvantages of both.
I think the ideal for me is a long distance relationship as I have now embraced single life, but wouldn’t mind someone to spend some time with occasionally.
I suppose I do miss some intimacy with the same person, but as my sexual urges are now diminishing slowly it’s just wanting some one who cares about me that I miss at times.
If the right lady comes along you’ll know it, as I’ll disappear from here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am now truly and utterly single and quite delighted by it. Grass will always be greener whichever side you're on though I reckon. Can I have a partner for weekends and holidays and occasional afternoons, that would be nice. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
I'm ok being single.
I would be ok not being single.
I don't see being in a relationship as something stifling or a shackling.
Another person would be a compliment to me, not a completion.
I'm already a whole person.
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I'm ok being single.
I would be ok not being single.
I don't see being in a relationship as something stifling or a shackling.
Another person would be a compliment to me, not a completion.
I'm already a whole person.
"
That's how I feel. Well said. |
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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago
somewhere, someplace |
"I have always been single and I have chosen to be it. I dont regret my decision as I like my own company and prefer it, also that you can do what you want when you want it, ofcourse, from time to time I do wonder how it would of been to have a relationship, but that thought quickly goes away "
I didn't choose to be single, my ex decided that by sticking it elsewhere. I'm content with it at the moment, but there are aspects I miss about being with someone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No.
It would mean I was either still in an abusive relationship or in a long distance relationship with someone who was living a double life.
Both were soul crushing.
I regret that when it comes to relationships I'm drawn to people that are bad for me.
So no, I don't regret making the choice to be single and do what's best for me, my physical health and my mental health."
Wow, first part of your post describes my relationship experience to a T. Turned off relationships for life. I literally trust no one and never will. I can't open myself up to that type of pain ever again. I'd rather be single til I die. |
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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago
Stirling |
I have been single for a few years now and I enjoy it, equally I’m not adverse to the possibility of new relationships should that happen naturally.
I am happy exploring new opportunities and having the prospect of meeting new people when allowed.
Who knows what the future holds but I don’t need another person to complete me or bring me happiness, if someone comes along that compliments me and things progress I’ll go with it, nothing ventured nothing gained x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have been single for a few years now and I enjoy it, equally I’m not adverse to the possibility of new relationships should that happen naturally.
I am happy exploring new opportunities and having the prospect of meeting new people when allowed.
Who knows what the future holds but I don’t need another person to complete me or bring me happiness, if someone comes along that compliments me and things progress I’ll go with it, nothing ventured nothing gained x"
Agree with this |
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By *mg 321Man
over a year ago
Blackpool |
"I am now truly and utterly single and quite delighted by it. Grass will always be greener whichever side you're on though I reckon. Can I have a partner for weekends and holidays and occasional afternoons, that would be nice. "
Exactly this. |
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I've been single over nineteen years now. I'm very happy with it.
Closest thing I have to a regret? It means I have half the income of a cohabiting couple. Sometimes I daydream about what life would be like with *that* much money. Wow. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have been single for a few years now and I enjoy it, equally I’m not adverse to the possibility of new relationships should that happen naturally.
I am happy exploring new opportunities and having the prospect of meeting new people when allowed.
Who knows what the future holds but I don’t need another person to complete me or bring me happiness, if someone comes along that compliments me and things progress I’ll go with it, nothing ventured nothing gained x"
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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
"I’ve been single for over half my adult life, by choice, as it was the right thing for me and those around me.
What I would say though is don’t close your mind off completely to being with someone else, you could miss out on something wonderful. When the time is right you won’t even think about it, as will feel completely natural to let someone in again, without question. " You are right there as you never know where your feelings will take you if you meet someone as that could change ones mind about being single or with someone too |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
Not during the past year or so. I know I would have been a right mardy mare if I had a fella and I couldn’t see him (as due to family circumstances would be unable to bubble up).
It’s allowed me to focus on my kids and mum and be selfish with my time and emotional needs. |
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By *arkus1812Man
over a year ago
Lifes departure lounge NN9 Northamptonshire East not West MidlandsMidlands |
Been single since my divorce 45 years ago.
Now at the ripe old age of 81 I very much doubt that my situation will change.
I must confess that there have been times during the past few years that I have questioned myself about whether or not I had made the right decision.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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hindsight is a horrible thing.
i wish i'd stayed single from day dot.
maybe a few more lesbian love affairs.. but that's about it.
but hey ho.. Stupid little girl! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been single since my divorce 45 years ago.
Now at the ripe old age of 81 I very much doubt that my situation will change.
I must confess that there have been times during the past few years that I have questioned myself about whether or not I had made the right decision.
"
Get on First Dates. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm ok being single.
I would be ok not being single.
I don't see being in a relationship as something stifling or a shackling.
Another person would be a compliment to me, not a completion.
I'm already a whole person.
"
Perfectly put |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Was in a relation. Didn’t enjoy in overall. I came to know that only when I became single. Now I have some sort of hesitation to get into relationship. May be with the right partner I may change. I d k. May be I never meet or there isn’t one.
So I am in my so confused part of my life. Hope it gets better!! |
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"I’ve been single for over half my adult life, by choice, as it was the right thing for me and those around me.
What I would say though is don’t close your mind off completely to being with someone else, you could miss out on something wonderful. When the time is right you won’t even think about it, as will feel completely natural to let someone in again, without question. "
What Shortie said ^ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No, I'd rather be single than in an unfulfilling relationship. My heart goes out to people who don't want to be single and are unable to find someone though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I put in to divorce my wife. We were married for 35 years, 25 years of which were lovely. It's taken us ten years to fall out of love (long story) so at 60 I'm single but it does not mean there is not a special someone out there. I / we have kinda lived for ten years on our own within a marriage. Sad but true |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No regrets being single... I was in an abusive relationship prior so far happier and in a much better place now.
I'm in that 50/50 position of being perfectly happy single but if someone was to come along that I thought would be right for me... I wouldn't say no but I fear I may be single for a long time coming. |
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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
"I haven't always been single, but I'm choosing to be now. I have been wondering lately whether a relationship would be worth the hassle but I think that's just lockdown loneliness.
I suspect when we are allowed to socialise again then I'll be fine. " That sounds good too. I like the single life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't regret choosing to get divorced.
However, I don't think I've ever really chosen to be single.
I am a hopeless romantic who does fall in love with love, sadly my heart doesn't always choose well.
As a result I've spent a long time with men who only ever saw me as fun and nothing more. That's fine when honest about it of course and at times it's suited me too.
Sadly though, I've also has my heart not only broken but completely stomped on.
I'm ok being single, I'm used to it, but I do wish I wasn't. I'm not sure I'll ever find my happy ever after but I won't ever stop wanting it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve been single for basically 12 years. Had a brief relationship in 2012/13 but it was long distance and not a proper cohabiting relationship.
I can attract guys in the beginning but then I get obsessed with them due to mental health problems and they all leave.
I would want nothing more than to have a committed, loving relationship where I felt wanted and loved. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just dont bother anymore trying for relationships... why set yourself up to be knocked down and messed around later down the line? ... dont mind being single and modern society psyche has made it much more difficult because you have to do this, do that, you dont fit in if you're this or that and you're shunned for not fitting in...
Bugger that .. I'd rather wait and see what happens and if things fit into place cool... but am I heck changing to fit in... I'm myself and I'm happy |
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I’ve not chosen it, I was widowed
I’ve had my fun in the past few years and continue to do so
Would love a relationship with someone as I miss being loved. Not sure I’d live with anyone again as I like that side of single life, having my own freedoms and space |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Aniewiuks x spelling lol so what's up you are saying you have health problems you look very genuine lady and fine to me but hay behind closed doors ovesly you have but only advertise it to close friends if very genuine and true please dont share it with anyone unless it is a crying for help if that makes sense sorry if I'm being upfront but sorry that's me what is right is right what is wrong is wrong if I'm being obnoxious and please I'm not being rude at all I'm very genuine person and very well mannered no angel been in more trouble than that in past lol but when I see statements like this I've got to say something politely spelling never forgot their is always some one worse off than you so like the old saying goes man up ??xx |
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"Aniewiuks x spelling lol so what's up you are saying you have health problems you look very genuine lady and fine to me but hay behind closed doors ovesly you have but only advertise it to close friends if very genuine and true please dont share it with anyone unless it is a crying for help if that makes sense sorry if I'm being upfront but sorry that's me what is right is right what is wrong is wrong if I'm being obnoxious and please I'm not being rude at all I'm very genuine person and very well mannered no angel been in more trouble than that in past lol but when I see statements like this I've got to say something politely spelling never forgot their is always some one worse off than you so like the old saying goes man up ??xx"
Have you seriously just said to someone who has mentioned mental health problems, to ‘man up’ ??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've got beautiful daughter 26 devorsit now house sold business gone will say one thing I will never marry again most of them x French c u n t s with legs not all of them ok ??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Aniewiuks x spelling lol so what's up you are saying you have health problems you look very genuine lady and fine to me but hay behind closed doors ovesly you have but only advertise it to close friends if very genuine and true please dont share it with anyone unless it is a crying for help if that makes sense sorry if I'm being upfront but sorry that's me what is right is right what is wrong is wrong if I'm being obnoxious and please I'm not being rude at all I'm very genuine person and very well mannered no angel been in more trouble than that in past lol but when I see statements like this I've got to say something politely spelling never forgot their is always some one worse off than you so like the old saying goes man up ??xx"
Feel like this was a bit unnecessary bud, a huge issue with mental health is that people who struggle with it a lot feel like they can’t talk about it out of fear of being judged by others. (Especially with men because of “man up”) people can and should be able to talk about there mental health and not expect comments like this. Yeah there is always someone worse off than you but that’s not how mental health works I’m afraid... if it was that easy then we wouldn’t have such a problem with people hurting themselves so often because of mental health |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have always been single and I have chosen to be it. I dont regret my decision as I like my own company and prefer it, also that you can do what you want when you want it, ofcourse, from time to time I do wonder how it would of been to have a relationship, but that thought quickly goes away "
Shag you don’t live in a remote motel do you with a house on a hill? |
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"After two long term relationships I've decided to stay single. But if a relationship happens it happens. I don't regret my decision. I think I've got a good set of reasons why and I think it's going to take an awful lot for someone to change my mind.
I like my freedom and choices and space too much now
Maybe when I'm older and it's just me here I might be different.
"
Exactly this!! |
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"I’ve been single for basically 12 years. Had a brief relationship in 2012/13 but it was long distance and not a proper cohabiting relationship.
I can attract guys in the beginning but then I get obsessed with them due to mental health problems and they all leave.
I would want nothing more than to have a committed, loving relationship where I felt wanted and loved. "
annie the more & more i read of your posts the more i'm seeing traits of either ADHD (combined) or bipolar (they quite a few have cross over traits), I'm not having a dig cos I have ADHD and a bit like yourself I can 'hyperfocus'/obsess over things (projects/topics/activities) and even people both sexually and platonically. It becomes a state of almost craving to be with them or talk to them all the time....at least for a while then it drops like Kraken stricken ship...other part is taking people at face value and expecting the truth because you struggle to lie and have little filter (short term memory issues)....many take advantage of it.
For me I've spent the vast majority of my life choosing to be single & actually a large portion of it on here or like minded places. plus after having 3/4 attempts at relationships turning mentally and physically abusive, I'd rather live alone. i'm better financially, physically, mentally, academically/career wise etc.
I need my space anyway due to my ADHD, it's not an easy one for neurotypical adult to understand as its all unseen and genetic so cant change it either, it would take some one quite rare and be as independent as me, willing to live apart and not be intimidated/emasculated by me either and let me be as free as I need to be, i'm not the type to cage or control.
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By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago
Milton keynes |
I've been single for 4 years now. Not exactly through my own choice. Been on dates but always never works out in the end. I'm not fussed as I do enjoy my quiet time and I got my kids to keep me company.. but every now and then, that small part of yourself say "how great would it be to have that one special person in my life right now" but never say never right? Maybe I just haven't found her yet |
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By *1011Woman
over a year ago
Barnsley |
Single for a year now after a long relationship/marriage and children. It came to an end and was quite saddening for some time, I suppose I'd always envisaged the perfect family unit.
Having said that I now very happily single, relatively new to fab and the concept of swinging and looking forward to different experiences.
I wouldn't ever close myself off to a relationship as I do enjoy the company of someone else in a relationship capacity but im certainly not on the lookout for it. I do however think iv learnt a fair few lessons since my last one, communication is definitely key!
Life is lovely for me now and I'm not sure I'll cross paths with anyone where I'd take the risk of things becoming more serious but I guess we never know where life will take us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im happy with it for now, discovering myself again, thinking as an I rather than a we!!
Id like to think ill couple up again at some stage though, that intimacy and support is nice |
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