FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Men wont travel far for a meet.(i have found out)
Men wont travel far for a meet.(i have found out)
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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this is something that i have found out in the past to happen regular. If a man is staying up near me meaby in a hotel,or a premier inn with work or whatever,and have then messaged me to meet,they soon go off the idea when they know i cannot drive.(it states that on profile)and are not prepared to drive 30 mins 40mins or 50mins one way for a guarenteed meet with me outdoors.(them miles have made men refuse a meet) They would then rather try and get a meet at their hotel with someone else, which may or may not happen.so why do some men not want to travel too far for a genuine meet? |
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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago
cognito |
Yep always “come to my hotel” so I did once and told him I’d meet in the bar for a drink first for the social, got dressed up and told him I was there and he couldn’t be bothered to come down to meet me first. Expected me to go straight to his room...never ever again. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Perhaps the idea of a quickie outdoors or in a car doesn't appeal as much as a more relaxed meet in a hotel.
I've travelled 3 hours plus each way to meet people, but I wouldn't do so for an outdoor meet. |
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Really not me last year while we had freedom i traveled from Rugby to- middlesburough, Manchester, southampton, kent, devon, Derby, Shrewsbury and even Glasgow yes Glasgow all for meets my google maps told me i do over 27000 miles last year. I love to see new places meet new people and will continue to travel the country when we are allowed to again  |
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I'm going to be the person in the hotel .......
So ...... they can't drive and can't get here.
If I drive to theirs I have to meet them in a place I don't know and shag them outside.
I could go and pick them up so that's 40 mins to pick them up, 40 mins back to the hotel for a fuckerooni..... 40 mins to take them back and 40 mins for me to get back to the hotel.
So that over nearly 3 hours driving and the petrol and can't have a drink cos i'm driving them home ........
PASS !
Maybe that's one possibility. |
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" I'm going to be the person in the hotel .......
So ...... they can't drive and can't get here.
If I drive to theirs I have to meet them in a place I don't know and shag them outside.
I could go and pick them up so that's 40 mins to pick them up, 40 mins back to the hotel for a fuckerooni..... 40 mins to take them back and 40 mins for me to get back to the hotel.
So that over nearly 3 hours driving and the petrol and can't have a drink cos i'm driving them home ........
PASS !
Maybe that's one possibility."
Hang on! Those times don’t add up! 40 mins to pick em up, 40 mins back t’hotel, 18 mins sesh (clothes off in out shake it all about and dressed again). 40 mins to take him back and 40 mins back t’hotel to wash us minge out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" I'm going to be the person in the hotel .......
So ...... they can't drive and can't get here.
If I drive to theirs I have to meet them in a place I don't know and shag them outside.
I could go and pick them up so that's 40 mins to pick them up, 40 mins back to the hotel for a fuckerooni..... 40 mins to take them back and 40 mins for me to get back to the hotel.
So that over nearly 3 hours driving and the petrol and can't have a drink cos i'm driving them home ........
PASS !
Maybe that's one possibility."
This. I know I wouldn't drive that distance for a fuck outside with a stranger. I wouldn't expect any man to and I definitely wouldn't bellyache about it if they refused |
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"Men will travel, think it may be the "outdoor" thing that doesn't suit them.
Out door or indoor will travel x
We all know you'll do anything "
Thats slander ..u will b hearing off my solicitors freeman Hardy willise x |
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Depends on where there staying and if they have transport themselves.
but I think it depends more on this.
"they soon go off the idea when they know i cannot drive.(it states that on profile)and are not prepared to drive 30 mins 40mins or 50mins one way for a guarenteed meet with me outdoors. "
That would say your more out in the sticks than close to hotels.
Though is just an observation.
Ive pmed a few for a meet up for a casual drink or chat more so when im new to an area.
I dont need a fab from them but it would be nice for a cuppa a chat and be shown around a little.
but I do get a general area knowledge on the first day always best to do so. |
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"Men will travel, think it may be the "outdoor" thing that doesn't suit them.
Out door or indoor will travel x
We all know you'll do anything
Thats slander ..u will b hearing off my solicitors freeman Hardy willise x "
Not slander if its true  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"this is something that i have found out in the past to happen regular. If a man is staying up near me meaby in a hotel,or a premier inn with work or whatever,and have then messaged me to meet,they soon go off the idea when they know i cannot drive.(it states that on profile)and are not prepared to drive 30 mins 40mins or 50mins one way for a guarenteed meet with me outdoors.(them miles have made men refuse a meet) They would then rather try and get a meet at their hotel with someone else, which may or may not happen.so why do some men not want to travel too far for a genuine meet? "
It's their choice.
We all have choices |
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" I'm going to be the person in the hotel .......
So ...... they can't drive and can't get here.
If I drive to theirs I have to meet them in a place I don't know and shag them outside.
I could go and pick them up so that's 40 mins to pick them up, 40 mins back to the hotel for a fuckerooni..... 40 mins to take them back and 40 mins for me to get back to the hotel.
So that over nearly 3 hours driving and the petrol and can't have a drink cos i'm driving them home ........
PASS !
Maybe that's one possibility.
Hang on! Those times don’t add up! 40 mins to pick em up, 40 mins back t’hotel, 18 mins sesh (clothes off in out shake it all about and dressed again). 40 mins to take him back and 40 mins back t’hotel to wash us minge out. "
I only put in the driving times Steve cos..... I didn't want to make people jealous of the sex martathon woman that I am.
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"I regularly did a 2/2½ hour drive for in-car/outdoor fun. Mind you, it was in an exclusive relationship, so maybe that makes a difference.
But these guys? Timewasters!!  "
No they aren't. Telling someone you don't want to travel for outdoor sex isn't time wasting.
I know I wouldn't with someone I don't know. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"They want everything there on way, No consideration for others"
How do you work that out? Could be said that the OP expecting them to travel to her for sex outdoors is her wanting everything her way and showing no consideration if that's the case (not saying she is necessarily, but then nor is a guy who prefers not to drive 30-40 minutes for sex outdoors). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That's not my experience to be honest. I've one guy who drives a 260 mile round trip to meet me on occasion. "
Wow, that’s very nearly 400 miles each way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My rollerblades can only travel for 20 minutes before I have to regrease the wheel bearings and quite frankly it’s not worth the hassle. "
This made me laugh out loud! So funny |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn’t wish to travel too far for a 1st meet, in case the meet doesn’t happen.
But once comfortable with someone / have met before, willing to travel much further |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My rollerblades can only travel for 20 minutes before I have to regrease the wheel bearings and quite frankly it’s not worth the hassle.
I can't stop laughing  "
You can laugh, but I’m not bending over in my gold hot pants and Wham! ‘Choose Life’ crop top!  |
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Just on the OP I’m assuming it’s because it’s an outdoor meet and they’d prefer to be indoors and take their time.
I have no problem travelling and do, but it’s always an overnighter for me, if the social earlier in the day doesn’t go well, I’ve still got a room and a new location to explore, plus I don’t have the stress of travelling home late. |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
"Not a chance I'd leave a hotel room to drive for miles to fuck someone outdoors.  "
Me neither really. A cosy warm safe room with a telly and a kettle, not forgetting a loo. Compare that to shlepping cross country for 30 plus minutes for (as far as they know) a 15 minute knee trembler, then dropping you home, then having to schlepp back to the Hotel, getting lost (maybe).
Sometimes it’s just easier (maybe) to have a wank. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not a chance I'd leave a hotel room to drive for miles to fuck someone outdoors.
Me neither really. A cosy warm safe room with a telly and a kettle, not forgetting a loo. Compare that to shlepping cross country for 30 plus minutes for (as far as they know) a 15 minute knee trembler, then dropping you home, then having to schlepp back to the Hotel, getting lost (maybe).
Sometimes it’s just easier (maybe) to have a wank."
It's pretty much always easier to just have a wank. |
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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
Not met that many guys but the ones we have travelled a distance, we’ve met one guy a couple of times who travelled 300 mile ish round trip, admittedly it was meeting indoors and not out, not sure many would travel a great distance for outdoor especially in winter |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Perhaps they prefer the comfort of their hotel room to a rather more uncomfortable one outdoors. I know I would.
You state you will get public transport so why not do that if you’re really keen to see them.
V |
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I've got a couple of meets lined up (if they go to fruition) where i'll be meeting half way, other's intended that they come to me, other's when I'm down where they are.
It all depends really. if they like you enough they will, if not are you really missing out? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some will, some won't, its their preference or choice.
Can't help but think some guys won't do it in case it all falls through and they end up feeling crap and still have the long drive back to think about it. Not great for anyone.
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"Some will, some won't, its their preference or choice.
Can't help but think some guys won't do it in case it all falls through and they end up feeling crap and still have the long drive back to think about it. Not great for anyone.
"
I agree. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not everyone is happy to meet outside.
I can't say I've experienced men not wanting to travel. When I was single I had a couple of guys come all the way from Scotland to the southwest to see me. Distance wasn't often an issue and I don't drive and wouldn't travel more than an hour away using public transport.
Lu  |
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"Yep always “come to my hotel” so I did once and told him I’d meet in the bar for a drink first for the social, got dressed up and told him I was there and he couldn’t be bothered to come down to meet me first. Expected me to go straight to his room...never ever again. "
...but did you go up? |
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"Some will, some won't, its their preference or choice.
Can't help but think some guys won't do it in case it all falls through and they end up feeling crap and still have the long drive back to think about it. Not great for anyone.
"
Had a situation like that. Total waste of a day  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd only travel half an hour to an hour max, close to public transport like the metro (dont drive) so I can get away quickly if I end up bucking a farmers daughter then being chased by her father with a double barrel shotgun.. .. or walking into the wrong bedroom naked to find her brother standing there screaming "what the fuck!?"... you got to make them quick breaks sometimes... |
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
There is, from my perspective, the fact that for any meets, I use Public Transport, because I don't drive.
That has often meant I've turned down meets in the past as I couldn't factor in travelling there & back within specific timescales.
Some people couldn't figure out why I didn't have access to my own transport. Or as one female once said, "you're joking, everyone has a car these days!"
End of meet, as I could not get to her address. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest, unless ive met before or the veris are trustworthy, id be concerned about being sent on wild goose chase. So unless she did everything to prove it was legit i may pass. Also, a fumble outdoors doesn't really sound appealing.
But 30 mins drive is nothing. That's just normal.
I have driven 2 hours to meet someone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I drove 360 miles each way for my last meet, over 750 miles in total with the traveling whilst I was down there. Though it was for a whole weekend and it was in a hotel, not a quickie outdoors! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think travelling up to 50 mins each way for an outdoor meet is a bit much. Especially on the rare occasion when they have a hotel to themselves and they’ve probably had a long day at work too. I can understand their decision
Do you offer to take a train or a taxi to them? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can't drive because of my eye sight
I travel to Durham on bus took over an hour not a problem I was meeting nice woman
I stayed in hotel we meet in hotel bar for drink and another drink then we went to my room for fun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have found the opposite ... I don't want men travelling far to meet me. They offer and I only want to meet local people, just because I don't feel worth their travelling far for something they can get in their own town |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have found the opposite ... I don't want men travelling far to meet me. They offer and I only want to meet local people, just because I don't feel worth their travelling far for something they can get in their own town "
I’d definitely travel from the middle east  |
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Ive travlled over 4 hours to meet time and distance isnt a factor for me these days.
Ive noticed a lot females and couples dont want to meet anyone who isnt local i dont see how that makes a diffrence where your from as long as you turn up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ive travlled over 4 hours to meet time and distance isnt a factor for me these days.
Ive noticed a lot females and couples dont want to meet anyone who isnt local i dont see how that makes a diffrence where your from as long as you turn up."
It makes a difference. For me personally it does anyway.
This is a crap analogy I'm just gonna warn you... so say you want this (hate using food here but I love steak so I'm saying steak) steak. But you can get perfectly good steak in your local supermarket, say morrisons. Why would you go to a morrisons 4 hours away when you can get steak just as good on your doorstep?
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Men visiting an area generally get fairly bad press here, with their expectations that are fairly demanding. The deficits in their considerations for others preferences is a broader issue for many here. Expecting a fab equivalent of deliveroo is what it's about for a lot of them - almost like wanting a free escort delivered. This type of person is probably similarly inappropriate when they are at home. Ignoring profile details, being demanding, etc could be their norm. Some people here will be more suited to the lifestyle than others who clearly are not. At least if the bad matches make it quickly evident, you don't have to waste much effort on them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"this is something that i have found out in the past to happen regular. If a man is staying up near me meaby in a hotel,or a premier inn with work or whatever,and have then messaged me to meet,they soon go off the idea when they know i cannot drive.(it states that on profile)and are not prepared to drive 30 mins 40mins or 50mins one way for a guarenteed meet with me outdoors.(them miles have made men refuse a meet) They would then rather try and get a meet at their hotel with someone else, which may or may not happen.so why do some men not want to travel too far for a genuine meet? "
Bloody hell, just looked at your profile, have a look at mine and see how the other half live  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men visiting an area generally get fairly bad press here, with their expectations that are fairly demanding. The deficits in their considerations for others preferences is a broader issue for many here. Expecting a fab equivalent of deliveroo is what it's about for a lot of them - almost like wanting a free escort delivered. This type of person is probably similarly inappropriate when they are at home. Ignoring profile details, being demanding, etc could be their norm. Some people here will be more suited to the lifestyle than others who clearly are not. At least if the bad matches make it quickly evident, you don't have to waste much effort on them. "
Hold up wait a minute - the lass who started this post is the one who wants to have an instant quickie outdoors with people who are visiting. No need to bash men |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've driven eagerly for 1 1/2 hours to pick someone up but it only took a mere 90 minutes running her back to my hotel because we couldn't wait to get down to it."
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
"Ive travlled over 4 hours to meet time and distance isnt a factor for me these days.
Ive noticed a lot females and couples dont want to meet anyone who isnt local i dont see how that makes a diffrence where your from as long as you turn up."
Because local is more convenient. I want regular sex with a little bit of spontaneity, and I don’t get much time to myself - so someone local is ideal for that.
I don’t want shit hot sex with someone I’m hardly likely to see again, that would be like tasting a beautiful cake and then someone telling you you’ll never have it again as they lost the recipe. That’s very disappointing! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I don’t want shit hot sex with someone I’m hardly likely to see again, that would be like tasting a beautiful cake and then someone telling you you’ll never have it again as they lost the recipe. That’s very disappointing!"
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We tend to travel always ,but have been let down ,so we make a weekend away of it so not a total waste ,but also had 2 guys travel 4 hours to meet and thankfully they were worth it ,but ALWAYS a social first ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I as you can see on my profile live near Preston in Lancashire, in the past I have travelled South to Birmingham, East to Leeds and North to Carlisle for meets I meet local but am not adverse to travelling a couple of hours to meet with someone. |
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"Ive travlled over 4 hours to meet time and distance isnt a factor for me these days.
Ive noticed a lot females and couples dont want to meet anyone who isnt local i dont see how that makes a diffrence where your from as long as you turn up."
Because they are looking for regular meets I imagine and that's more unlikely with someone that lives hours away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've not read all the comments but as regards to travelling for a meet uts not always black and white. If they just being lazy and can't be arsed with travelling then thats there fault but for someone like myself I'm a single dad of 5 children and I also run my own business so it not easy to travel miles for a meet. Anything that involves an overnight stay or not being able to be there for my children is very difficult. There are a few women on this site id love to meet and very much want to but because of my circumstances its very difficult to do so. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t really blame them not wanting to meet if they have to do all the leg work for a outdoor shag in the woods when they have a nice cosy room. Why can’t you get public transport to them? Would seem a better option then going to fuck in the cold dark woods.
I wouldn’t travel 30-50mins to a bloke to shag outdoors either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ive travlled over 4 hours to meet time and distance isnt a factor for me these days.
Ive noticed a lot females and couples dont want to meet anyone who isnt local i dont see how that makes a diffrence where your from as long as you turn up."
How about someone that wants regular fun. Doubt you’re going to travel over 4 hours weekly. Not everyone wants a one of shag. |
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"this is something that i have found out in the past to happen regular. If a man is staying up near me meaby in a hotel,or a premier inn with work or whatever,and have then messaged me to meet,they soon go off the idea when they know i cannot drive.(it states that on profile)and are not prepared to drive 30 mins 40mins or 50mins one way for a guarenteed meet with me outdoors.(them miles have made men refuse a meet) They would then rather try and get a meet at their hotel with someone else, which may or may not happen.so why do some men not want to travel too far for a genuine meet? "
Because we have a freedom of choice, some of us prefer to have a fun evening including a few drinks and chat in a nice hotel bar first while others would travel 30/40/50 minutes or more for a quick knee trembler in a shed in the woods.
I can see why the men might be misunderstood because although you say you can't drive you do also say you can travel by public transport and sometimes have a friend that can drop you off and wait outside.
There's also the possibility that they've traveled by public transport to work away or in a colleagues vehicle.
A little bit more honest communication should see both parties happy at an early stage to save wasting both of you valuable time.
Good luck |
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By *an61Man
over a year ago
Wirral |
As others have said the idea of a possible "quickie" outdoors doesn't always appeal to everyone, plus there is the driving factor no alcohol ! I have driven well over a hundred mile's to meet someone but only after lengthy correspondence. |
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"this is something that i have found out in the past to happen regular. If a man is staying up near me meaby in a hotel,or a premier inn with work or whatever,and have then messaged me to meet,they soon go off the idea when they know i cannot drive.(it states that on profile)and are not prepared to drive 30 mins 40mins or 50mins one way for a guarenteed meet with me outdoors.(them miles have made men refuse a meet) They would then rather try and get a meet at their hotel with someone else, which may or may not happen.so why do some men not want to travel too far for a genuine meet? "
Men have choices and concerns about their safety too: I wouldn't expect a stranger to the area to drive to some unknown location to meet me outdoors. Who's to say you'll not arrange an ambush.
Good men are thinking with the head above their necks. |
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"That's not my experience to be honest. I've one guy who drives a 260 mile round trip to meet me on occasion. "
I used to do 360 mile round trip every other week, he came down to me the other times. Different going to someone's home to meeting outdoors. |
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The furthest I've travelled is 90 miles, to Warrington. It was a halfway meet with a woman from Warwickshire, for a 'genuine meet' in the Village Hotel there. I wouldn't have driven that distance for a quickie in the woods though........ |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
On my profile I have stated that I am willing to travel to most parts of London ideally close to a station. I prefer to use public transport as trying to find free parking can be a nightmare. I can’t however do spontaneous meets there needs to be a couple of days planning.Not on Fabs but a dating site I have traveled for over a hour and turned up on time all for a no show. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have traveled well over an hour for some meetings. But because of the shit roads and terrible journeys there are some places I avoid even though as the crow flies they aren't too far away.. Leeds and Halifax are two that come to mind. |
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It depends on previous interactions for me - there are some people I'd drive hundreds of miles for.
As others have said, I doubt I'd drive for a one-off outdoor meet when I've a perfectly decent hotel room booked. I'm just too lazy and too fond of comfort for that to appeal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Perhaps the idea of a quickie outdoors or in a car doesn't appeal as much as a more relaxed meet in a hotel.
I've travelled 3 hours plus each way to meet people, but I wouldn't do so for an outdoor meet."
This |
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Why won’t you get a bus or a taxi OP if they’re relatively local? Surely meeting up between 2 people who are both willing to contribute something to the effort. If they have a hotel, why should they drive further to meet outside? Seems lacking in communication and compromise to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe they don't want to leave their nice, warm, comfy hotel room to travel to you.
Maybe they don't want to meet outside, especially if they havn't met you before and don't know if you are genuine.
Maybe they don't have a vehicle.
Maybe they would rather meet someone closer.
Maybe they think you should travel to them.
It's their choice what they do.
Personally leaving a lovely hotel room and travelling after a days work to fuck outside isn't my kind of fun. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had guys travel from London Birmingham Manchester Middlesbrough etc to meet me at my house so yes men will travel "
I've had a guy take a flight, book a hotel and rent a car...
I'm guessing the guys sending the "in your area" messages are really looking for the quickest fuck they can get... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That's not my experience to be honest. I've one guy who drives a 260 mile round trip to meet me on occasion.
Wow, that’s very nearly 400 miles each way. "
What |
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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
We did have a couple fly to Spain to see us after just talking to them for ten mins one night in a club, think that’s a fair way to travel and the longest meet ever as they stayed a week haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have found the opposite ... I don't want men travelling far to meet me. They offer and I only want to meet local people, just because I don't feel worth their travelling far for something they can get in their own town "
Well, no...there is only 1 of you! Don't sell yourself short girl  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Basically, they think they are on free hooker.com.
One message and you’ll be there shortly and what’s best, they don’t pay.
Did you actually read the op?"
Yes.....which bit is confusing? The man won’t leave the hotel because he wants someone to come to his room there, rather than travel somewhere else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Basically, they think they are on free hooker.com.
One message and you’ll be there shortly and what’s best, they don’t pay.
Did you actually read the op?
Yes.....which bit is confusing? The man won’t leave the hotel because he wants someone to come to his room there, rather than travel somewhere else. "
Just like the women won’t travel |
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By *JB1954Man
over a year ago
Reading |
Arranged a meet from here. Was couple but had split up and left site. Stayed in contact with female. Drove nearly two hours and given runaround as to meet location. She got cold feet . Did contact me few months later and told me why. Still in contact and if lockdown finishes . Will try again but on my ground rules which I have informed her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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An ex fwb used to travel from Amsterdam to see me.
I would not drive any distance where the drive lasted longer than the meet, or for outdoors
However I will travel any distance for the right guy |
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"Yep always “come to my hotel” so I did once and told him I’d meet in the bar for a drink first for the social, got dressed up and told him I was there and he couldn’t be bothered to come down to meet me first. Expected me to go straight to his room...never ever again. "
Jesus. He made a big effort then! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Basically, they think they are on free hooker.com.
One message and you’ll be there shortly and what’s best, they don’t pay.
Did you actually read the op?
Yes.....which bit is confusing? The man won’t leave the hotel because he wants someone to come to his room there, rather than travel somewhere else.
Just like the women won’t travel "
Think you’ve misread |
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