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Sarah Everards

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By *he Devils Daughter! OP   Woman  over a year ago

some where in yorkshire

It’s truely horrific what happened to this young woman n may she rest in peace but the men bashing that has come out from this am I right or wrong in saying not all men are like this ... not all men are murdere’s .. tonight I walked home in the dark alone from the local shop yes I was nervous n felt vulnerable but the 2 guys that were walking behind me up the same road both crossed over the road n didn’t make me feel intimidated both young men asked if I was ok ... just goes to show there is some nice guys out there

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds

What is frightening is that in Britain 70% of murdered women are killed in their own homes and 93% of all murdered women know their killer.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What is frightening is that in Britain 70% of murdered women are killed in their own homes and 93% of all murdered women know their killer. "

I read the same, and over half are killed by someone they know. This isn’t exactly surprising, the numbers of deaths are such a sad and bad statistic though.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I don't think women raising their concerns and speaking out about things that happened to them or things that makes them feel uncomfortable is man bashing and devalues womens experiences.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't think women raising their concerns and speaking out about things that happened to them or things that makes them feel uncomfortable is man bashing and devalues womens experiences. "

Agreed

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What is frightening is that in Britain 70% of murdered women are killed in their own homes and 93% of all murdered women know their killer. "

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By *ny1localMan  over a year ago

READING


"It’s truely horrific what happened to this young woman n may she rest in peace but the men bashing that has come out from this am I right or wrong in saying not all men are like this ... not all men are murdere’s .. tonight I walked home in the dark alone from the local shop yes I was nervous n felt vulnerable but the 2 guys that were walking behind me up the same road both crossed over the road "
sadly I have to say I've also crossed the road simply to make the lassie more comfortable, but also to protect myself from any unwarranted accusations.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It seems all related threads have been removed by Fab so I guess this one will be too.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It’s truely horrific what happened to this young woman n may she rest in peace but the men bashing that has come out from this am I right or wrong in saying not all men are like this ... not all men are murdere’s .. tonight I walked home in the dark alone from the local shop yes I was nervous n felt vulnerable but the 2 guys that were walking behind me up the same road both crossed over the road sadly I have to say I've also crossed the road simply to make the lassie more comfortable, but also to protect myself from any unwarranted accusations. "

Why would you be accused of anything?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It seems all related threads have been removed by Fab so I guess this one will be too."

I don't think they have only ones that have broken site rules I did one the other day that still there.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It seems all related threads have been removed by Fab so I guess this one will be too.

I don't think they have only ones that have broken site rules I did one the other day that still there. "

Oh, thanks for clarifying Lorna It seemed a lot went missing this morning. I know it can be problematic to comment on open criminal prosecutions.

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By *wisted999Man  over a year ago

North Bucks

I don’t feel bashed. Hopefully I see a change of attitudes and behaviour.

I’m not responsible for shitty shitty men’s actions but I can make an example of my own actions.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple  over a year ago

in Lancashire


"I don't think women raising their concerns and speaking out about things that happened to them or things that makes them feel uncomfortable is man bashing and devalues womens experiences. "

This..

(Him)

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't think women raising their concerns and speaking out about things that happened to them or things that makes them feel uncomfortable is man bashing and devalues womens experiences. "
the way I read a lot of comments yesterday certainly was ! And most men either didn’t dare comment or simple said sorry !

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It seems all related threads have been removed by Fab so I guess this one will be too.

I don't think they have only ones that have broken site rules I did one the other day that still there.

Oh, thanks for clarifying Lorna It seemed a lot went missing this morning. I know it can be problematic to comment on open criminal prosecutions. "

I think that's when they get removed if people are talking about personal experiences that break site rules but I don't think the topic itself is the problem just how people comment.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't think women raising their concerns and speaking out about things that happened to them or things that makes them feel uncomfortable is man bashing and devalues womens experiences. the way I read a lot of comments yesterday certainly was ! And most men either didn’t dare comment or simple said sorry ! "

Why because people don't like it when women tell their stories and they don't feel comfortable?

And why shouldn't a man say sorry if they feel the need?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I am in no way belittling this tragic and sad awful news.

But it feels to me like another Madeline Mcann situation- the victim has to be English middle class, white, blonde haired and blue eyed for anyone to give a shit

Thousands of women and children get ×aped and murdered every day - but they don't make the news and it appears no one cares

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I am in no way belittling this tragic and sad awful news.

But it feels to me like another Madeline Mcann situation- the victim has to be English middle class, white, blonde haired and blue eyed for anyone to give a shit

Thousands of women and children get ×aped and murdered every day - but they don't make the news and it appears no one cares "

Maybe it's because the accused is in the police.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I am in no way belittling this tragic and sad awful news.

But it feels to me like another Madeline Mcann situation- the victim has to be English middle class, white, blonde haired and blue eyed for anyone to give a shit

Thousands of women and children get ×aped and murdered every day - but they don't make the news and it appears no one cares

Maybe it's because the accused is in the police."

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I am in no way belittling this tragic and sad awful news.

But it feels to me like another Madeline Mcann situation- the victim has to be English middle class, white, blonde haired and blue eyed for anyone to give a shit

Thousands of women and children get ×aped and murdered every day - but they don't make the news and it appears no one cares

Maybe it's because the accused is in the police."

I don't know enough about it - I shouldn't have said anything

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By *rincess peachWoman  over a year ago

shits creek

Do you think they crossed the road and asked if you were OK in light of what's happened and the conversations that are finally happening?

It shows that the conversations, the speaking up has needed to happen for far too long, and there's 2 lads that have listened.

Good on them and hopefully this is the start of a massive shift and consideration about everyday behaviours that can make others uncomfortable.

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By *ny1localMan  over a year ago

READING


"It’s truely horrific what happened to this young woman n may she rest in peace but the men bashing that has come out from this am I right or wrong in saying not all men are like this ... not all men are murdere’s .. tonight I walked home in the dark alone from the local shop yes I was nervous n felt vulnerable but the 2 guys that were walking behind me up the same road both crossed over the road sadly I have to say I've also crossed the road simply to make the lassie more comfortable, but also to protect myself from any unwarranted accusations.

Why would you be accused of anything? "

because sadly in the real world there's some strange folks out there, and by simply being a guy,it's easy to be a target for any female that has issues about men.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It’s truely horrific what happened to this young woman n may she rest in peace but the men bashing that has come out from this am I right or wrong in saying not all men are like this ... not all men are murdere’s .. tonight I walked home in the dark alone from the local shop yes I was nervous n felt vulnerable but the 2 guys that were walking behind me up the same road both crossed over the road sadly I have to say I've also crossed the road simply to make the lassie more comfortable, but also to protect myself from any unwarranted accusations.

Why would you be accused of anything? because sadly in the real world there's some strange folks out there, and by simply being a guy,it's easy to be a target for any female that has issues about men."

OK but that very much comes across as women can't feel worried or frightened or share their experiences because women are out to get men.

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By *tue555Man  over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach


"I don't think women raising their concerns and speaking out about things that happened to them or things that makes them feel uncomfortable is man bashing and devalues womens experiences. the way I read a lot of comments yesterday certainly was ! And most men either didn’t dare comment or simple said sorry !

Why because people don't like it when women tell their stories and they don't feel comfortable?

And why shouldn't a man say sorry if they feel the need?"

I disagree some of us do care about the womens stories and are actively trying to actively change attitudes. To lot of guys were being made to feel that they should apologise for the actions of a few. Like Muslim faith being made to apologise for the few. Whether you like me or loathe me I will always put myself in the middle if I feel unfairness irrespective of faith, coulour or gender.

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By *eliciousladyWoman  over a year ago

Sometimes U.K

I do appreciate it when men either cross the road or take a wide berth when walking towards me at night.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't think women raising their concerns and speaking out about things that happened to them or things that makes them feel uncomfortable is man bashing and devalues womens experiences. the way I read a lot of comments yesterday certainly was ! And most men either didn’t dare comment or simple said sorry !

Why because people don't like it when women tell their stories and they don't feel comfortable?

And why shouldn't a man say sorry if they feel the need?"

Doesn’t make me feel uncomfortable! It’s just what some women said was over the top to the point of why are you on a sex site looking to hook up with men ! As for the men that said sorry they probably didn’t mean it ! As they had nothing to be sorry for.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Sure not all men do this, but when it happens, it's usually men who do it. I don't blame a woman for being apprehensive around any man, unless she knows them well, how does she know she's safe with him?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sure not all men do this, but when it happens, it's usually men who do it. I don't blame a woman for being apprehensive around any man, unless she knows them well, how does she know she's safe with him? "

Even if she knows him well that doesn't necessarily mean she's safe with him though.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It’s truely horrific what happened to this young woman n may she rest in peace but the men bashing that has come out from this am I right or wrong in saying not all men are like this ... not all men are murdere’s .. tonight I walked home in the dark alone from the local shop yes I was nervous n felt vulnerable but the 2 guys that were walking behind me up the same road both crossed over the road sadly I have to say I've also crossed the road simply to make the lassie more comfortable, but also to protect myself from any unwarranted accusations.

Why would you be accused of anything? because sadly in the real world there's some strange folks out there, and by simply being a guy,it's easy to be a target for any female that has issues about men.

OK but that very much comes across as women can't feel worried or frightened or share their experiences because women are out to get men."

How does it ? Hes simply said he doesn’t want to get accused of anything he hasn’t done so finds it easier to remove himself from a situation (aka cross the road)

He hasn’t implied a that a women doesn’t have a right to feel worried or scared.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sure not all men do this, but when it happens, it's usually men who do it. I don't blame a woman for being apprehensive around any man, unless she knows them well, how does she know she's safe with him?

Even if she knows him well that doesn't necessarily mean she's safe with him though. "

True

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It’s truely horrific what happened to this young woman n may she rest in peace but the men bashing that has come out from this am I right or wrong in saying not all men are like this ... not all men are murdere’s .. tonight I walked home in the dark alone from the local shop yes I was nervous n felt vulnerable but the 2 guys that were walking behind me up the same road both crossed over the road sadly I have to say I've also crossed the road simply to make the lassie more comfortable, but also to protect myself from any unwarranted accusations.

Why would you be accused of anything? because sadly in the real world there's some strange folks out there, and by simply being a guy,it's easy to be a target for any female that has issues about men.

OK but that very much comes across as women can't feel worried or frightened or share their experiences because women are out to get men.

How does it ? Hes simply said he doesn’t want to get accused of anything he hasn’t done so finds it easier to remove himself from a situation (aka cross the road)

He hasn’t implied a that a women doesn’t have a right to feel worried or scared.

"

Thats how I read it and I stand by what I said.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I do appreciate it when men either cross the road or take a wide berth when walking towards me at night. "

I have been questionned by men as to why i cant do certain things.

Like if i was to say " i cant do that because i wouldnt get on the tube that late, in the dark"

It becomes apparent that thats not something they had even considered.

For alot of women thats an everyday consideration. " if i do this, will it be safe"

I'd be interested to hear men's views tbh

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't think women raising their concerns and speaking out about things that happened to them or things that makes them feel uncomfortable is man bashing and devalues womens experiences. the way I read a lot of comments yesterday certainly was ! And most men either didn’t dare comment or simple said sorry !

Why because people don't like it when women tell their stories and they don't feel comfortable?

And why shouldn't a man say sorry if they feel the need?"

Why should anyone apologise for something they didn’t do!

One man cannot apologise on behalf of his whole gender, that’s ridiculous!

I’ve recently started teaching my son not to apologise unless he knows what he’s apologising for..... but then again I also teach him to respect everyone not just women and that no means no.

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By *ny1localMan  over a year ago

READING


" OK but that very much comes across as women can't feel worried or frightened or share their experiences because women are out to get men."
sorry,I certainly didn't want to give that impression.I just wanted to convey that guys can also have safety issues. Sadly in this day and age,we tend to focus on problems affecting a particular gender or race etc., without accepting that that problem can have an effect on anyone irrespective of their race, creed or gender.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't think women raising their concerns and speaking out about things that happened to them or things that makes them feel uncomfortable is man bashing and devalues womens experiences. the way I read a lot of comments yesterday certainly was ! And most men either didn’t dare comment or simple said sorry !

Why because people don't like it when women tell their stories and they don't feel comfortable?

And why shouldn't a man say sorry if they feel the need?

Why should anyone apologise for something they didn’t do!

One man cannot apologise on behalf of his whole gender, that’s ridiculous!

I’ve recently started teaching my son not to apologise unless he knows what he’s apologising for..... but then again I also teach him to respect everyone not just women and that no means no.

"

But my point was the we don't know why these men have apologised, Is it because they have felt the in the past maybe they have been as considerate as they could have been?

Yes of course you will also get people that apologise just because they feel it will make them look good but who do we know its not genuine.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman  over a year ago

On a mooch


"

One man cannot apologise on behalf of his whole gender, that’s ridiculous!

I’ve recently started teaching my son not to apologise unless he knows what he’s apologising for..... but then again I also teach him to respect everyone not just women and that no means no.

"

Totally agree

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


" OK but that very much comes across as women can't feel worried or frightened or share their experiences because women are out to get men. sorry,I certainly didn't want to give that impression.I just wanted to convey that guys can also have safety issues. Sadly in this day and age,we tend to focus on problems affecting a particular gender or race etc., without accepting that that problem can have an effect on anyone irrespective of their race, creed or gender. "

Yes of course but it doesn't mean that it shouldn't be talked about just because it focuses on attitudes of and of towards one gender.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It’s truely horrific what happened to this young woman n may she rest in peace but the men bashing that has come out from this am I right or wrong in saying not all men are like this ... not all men are murdere’s .. tonight I walked home in the dark alone from the local shop yes I was nervous n felt vulnerable but the 2 guys that were walking behind me up the same road both crossed over the road sadly I have to say I've also crossed the road simply to make the lassie more comfortable, but also to protect myself from any unwarranted accusations.

Why would you be accused of anything? because sadly in the real world there's some strange folks out there, and by simply being a guy,it's easy to be a target for any female that has issues about men.

OK but that very much comes across as women can't feel worried or frightened or share their experiences because women are out to get men."

No it doesn't at all. It just came across as a guy wanting to remove himself from a potential situation.

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By *esmond and Molly JonesCouple  over a year ago

Watford

Thank you for some sense in all of this!

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By *oncupiscence73Woman  over a year ago

South


"It seems all related threads have been removed by Fab so I guess this one will be too.

I don't think they have only ones that have broken site rules I did one the other day that still there. "

Three have been removed today

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It seems all related threads have been removed by Fab so I guess this one will be too.

I don't think they have only ones that have broken site rules I did one the other day that still there.

Three have been removed today"

It's what talked about on the thread not the subject matter that those threads were removed.

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By *oncupiscence73Woman  over a year ago

South


"It seems all related threads have been removed by Fab so I guess this one will be too.

I don't think they have only ones that have broken site rules I did one the other day that still there.

Three have been removed today

It's what talked about on the thread not the subject matter that those threads were removed. "

What was spoken about that was against the rules?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It seems all related threads have been removed by Fab so I guess this one will be too.

I don't think they have only ones that have broken site rules I did one the other day that still there.

Three have been removed today

It's what talked about on the thread not the subject matter that those threads were removed.

What was spoken about that was against the rules? "

I believe Part of it was people using banned words and replacing them with other letters and symbols.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It seems all related threads have been removed by Fab so I guess this one will be too.

I don't think they have only ones that have broken site rules I did one the other day that still there.

Three have been removed today

It's what talked about on the thread not the subject matter that those threads were removed.

What was spoken about that was against the rules? "

Yes quite a few of the comments on at least one of the threads I saw would have been against site rules because it was about personal experiences that are against site rules to talk about.

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By *oncupiscence73Woman  over a year ago

South


"It seems all related threads have been removed by Fab so I guess this one will be too.

I don't think they have only ones that have broken site rules I did one the other day that still there.

Three have been removed today

It's what talked about on the thread not the subject matter that those threads were removed.

What was spoken about that was against the rules?

I believe Part of it was people using banned words and replacing them with other letters and symbols. "

Disappointed tbh as it could have made a difference to the way some men think ... shame

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It seems all related threads have been removed by Fab so I guess this one will be too.

I don't think they have only ones that have broken site rules I did one the other day that still there.

Three have been removed today

It's what talked about on the thread not the subject matter that those threads were removed.

What was spoken about that was against the rules? "

Talking about whats against site rules, is against site rules

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By *ionelhutzMan  over a year ago

liverpool


"What is frightening is that in Britain 70% of murdered women are killed in their own homes and 93% of all murdered women know their killer. "

It was on the news the other day that domestic abuse cases have rocketed since lockdown.

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By *oncupiscence73Woman  over a year ago

South


"It seems all related threads have been removed by Fab so I guess this one will be too.

I don't think they have only ones that have broken site rules I did one the other day that still there.

Three have been removed today

It's what talked about on the thread not the subject matter that those threads were removed.

What was spoken about that was against the rules?

Talking about whats against site rules, is against site rules "

Haha this did occur to me just after I posted oops ...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What is frightening is that in Britain 70% of murdered women are killed in their own homes and 93% of all murdered women know their killer.

It was on the news the other day that domestic abuse cases have rocketed since lockdown. "

Up 40%

And thats from a lady on a DV helpline, on Thursday

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By *he Devils Daughter! OP   Woman  over a year ago

some where in yorkshire


"I do appreciate it when men either cross the road or take a wide berth when walking towards me at night. "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't think women raising their concerns and speaking out about things that happened to them or things that makes them feel uncomfortable is man bashing and devalues womens experiences. the way I read a lot of comments yesterday certainly was ! And most men either didn’t dare comment or simple said sorry !

Why because people don't like it when women tell their stories and they don't feel comfortable?

And why shouldn't a man say sorry if they feel the need?

Why should anyone apologise for something they didn’t do!

One man cannot apologise on behalf of his whole gender, that’s ridiculous!

I’ve recently started teaching my son not to apologise unless he knows what he’s apologising for..... but then again I also teach him to respect everyone not just women and that no means no.

"

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By *he Devils Daughter! OP   Woman  over a year ago

some where in yorkshire


"I do appreciate it when men either cross the road or take a wide berth when walking towards me at night. "

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By *he Devils Daughter! OP   Woman  over a year ago

some where in yorkshire


"It’s truely horrific what happened to this young woman n may she rest in peace but the men bashing that has come out from this am I right or wrong in saying not all men are like this ... not all men are murdere’s .. tonight I walked home in the dark alone from the local shop yes I was nervous n felt vulnerable but the 2 guys that were walking behind me up the same road both crossed over the road sadly I have to say I've also crossed the road simply to make the lassie more comfortable, but also to protect myself from any unwarranted accusations. "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I am in no way belittling this tragic and sad awful news.

But it feels to me like another Madeline Mcann situation- the victim has to be English middle class, white, blonde haired and blue eyed for anyone to give a shit

Thousands of women and children get ×aped and murdered every day - but they don't make the news and it appears no one cares "

all that says to me is the discussion is well over due because we should have been caring before

i think it probably has more with everyone being at home and other than covid not much happening so when she went missing people sat up snd took notice but even if it is because she is white middle class i don’t think its a reason to sweep yet another under the rug like those that have gone before

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

No ALL men are not like this police officer. Yet ALL men do have a responsibilty. Pleased the young you encounted tonight illustrated kindeness and empathy....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't think women raising their concerns and speaking out about things that happened to them or things that makes them feel uncomfortable is man bashing and devalues womens experiences. the way I read a lot of comments yesterday certainly was ! And most men either didn’t dare comment or simple said sorry !

Why because people don't like it when women tell their stories and they don't feel comfortable?

And why shouldn't a man say sorry if they feel the need?

Why should anyone apologise for something they didn’t do!

One man cannot apologise on behalf of his whole gender, that’s ridiculous!

I’ve recently started teaching my son not to apologise unless he knows what he’s apologising for..... but then again I also teach him to respect everyone not just women and that no means no.

"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't think women raising their concerns and speaking out about things that happened to them or things that makes them feel uncomfortable is man bashing and devalues womens experiences. the way I read a lot of comments yesterday certainly was ! And most men either didn’t dare comment or simple said sorry !

Why because people don't like it when women tell their stories and they don't feel comfortable?

And why shouldn't a man say sorry if they feel the need?

Why should anyone apologise for something they didn’t do!

One man cannot apologise on behalf of his whole gender, that’s ridiculous!

I’ve recently started teaching my son not to apologise unless he knows what he’s apologising for..... but then again I also teach him to respect everyone not just women and that no means no.

But my point was the we don't know why these men have apologised, Is it because they have felt the in the past maybe they have been as considerate as they could have been?

Yes of course you will also get people that apologise just because they feel it will make them look good but who do we know its not genuine. "

No we don’t know they are apologising so we should make it clear that females, as an entire gender, do not want or need empty apologies.

If a man feels that he has caused another women to feel a certain way then he needs to address it to that woman.

Otherwise for me it’s an empty apology, too easy to throw those words around without actually understanding their meaning x

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By *ionelhutzMan  over a year ago

liverpool


"What is frightening is that in Britain 70% of murdered women are killed in their own homes and 93% of all murdered women know their killer.

It was on the news the other day that domestic abuse cases have rocketed since lockdown.

Up 40%

And thats from a lady on a DV helpline, on Thursday"

Thats absolutely shocking

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By *he Devils Daughter! OP   Woman  over a year ago

some where in yorkshire


"What is frightening is that in Britain 70% of murdered women are killed in their own homes and 93% of all murdered women know their killer.

It was on the news the other day that domestic abuse cases have rocketed since lockdown. "

yes this is true x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I am in no way belittling this tragic and sad awful news.

But it feels to me like another Madeline Mcann situation- the victim has to be English middle class, white, blonde haired and blue eyed for anyone to give a shit

Thousands of women and children get ×aped and murdered every day - but they don't make the news and it appears no one cares

all that says to me is the discussion is well over due because we should have been caring before

i think it probably has more with everyone being at home and other than covid not much happening so when she went missing people sat up snd took notice but even if it is because she is white middle class i don’t think its a reason to sweep yet another under the rug like those that have gone before "

There are SO many discussions that are long overdue though.

It often feels like we must have a 'cause' of the week

What happened to the discussions about mental health since Caroline Flack passed?

Is our society broken?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

One man cannot apologise on behalf of his whole gender, that’s ridiculous!

I’ve recently started teaching my son not to apologise unless he knows what he’s apologising for..... but then again I also teach him to respect everyone not just women and that no means no.

Totally agree "

i tend to agree with this, i have a male friend who i have in company watched apologise for all men in discussions like this long before this week - for some reason it came off and patronising and disingenuous and made me cringe even though i think he thought it was coning from a good place

i don’t need or want you apology for something you are not responsible for - i would much prefer you checked your boys when you witnessed them do something they should apologise for

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By *ny1localMan  over a year ago

READING


"I do appreciate it when men either cross the road or take a wide berth when walking towards me at night. "
and whether or not some think I'm wrong to do it, I'll still cross over,or give a wide berth..for me it's mainly being courteous, but also looking after myself.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It seems all related threads have been removed by Fab so I guess this one will be too.

I don't think they have only ones that have broken site rules I did one the other day that still there.

Three have been removed today

It's what talked about on the thread not the subject matter that those threads were removed.

What was spoken about that was against the rules? "

one that i can think of was people listing what had happened to them - its basically a list of crime - it only occurred to me after it was that was why

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I am in no way belittling this tragic and sad awful news.

But it feels to me like another Madeline Mcann situation- the victim has to be English middle class, white, blonde haired and blue eyed for anyone to give a shit

Thousands of women and children get ×aped and murdered every day - but they don't make the news and it appears no one cares

all that says to me is the discussion is well over due because we should have been caring before

i think it probably has more with everyone being at home and other than covid not much happening so when she went missing people sat up snd took notice but even if it is because she is white middle class i don’t think its a reason to sweep yet another under the rug like those that have gone before

There are SO many discussions that are long overdue though.

It often feels like we must have a 'cause' of the week

What happened to the discussions about mental health since Caroline Flack passed?

Is our society broken?"

i mean i still see this brought up regularly and its even been on the radio and there was a documentary this week with it being a year since her anniversary

but like i said i think things get hyped focus while everyone is home and don’t have as many distractions

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I am in no way belittling this tragic and sad awful news.

But it feels to me like another Madeline Mcann situation- the victim has to be English middle class, white, blonde haired and blue eyed for anyone to give a shit

Thousands of women and children get ×aped and murdered every day - but they don't make the news and it appears no one cares

all that says to me is the discussion is well over due because we should have been caring before

i think it probably has more with everyone being at home and other than covid not much happening so when she went missing people sat up snd took notice but even if it is because she is white middle class i don’t think its a reason to sweep yet another under the rug like those that have gone before

There are SO many discussions that are long overdue though.

It often feels like we must have a 'cause' of the week

What happened to the discussions about mental health since Caroline Flack passed?

Is our society broken?

i mean i still see this brought up regularly and its even been on the radio and there was a documentary this week with it being a year since her anniversary

but like i said i think things get hyped focus while everyone is home and don’t have as many distractions "

What I meant was there are many issues that we dont address in this country

They ARE swept under the carpet

Until they are front page news. And after a week we are onto the next cause.

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By *ugby 123Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo


"It seems all related threads have been removed by Fab so I guess this one will be too."

Theyhavn't

Threads that ask people to share experiences of subjects that are not allowed on the forum have though

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By *andyfloss2000Woman  over a year ago

ashford

Of course all men are not like that! So sad though! I dont often c people on way to work on my bycicle at 3 in morn but when I do get very nervous saw a lone young man this morning was scary I must admit x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Let’s be honest here it’s a horrific thing that has happened to her but if she lived on a council estate had 3 kids and work at Aldi it would hardly make the news

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Let’s be honest here it’s a horrific thing that has happened to her but if she lived on a council estate had 3 kids and work at Aldi it would hardly make the news "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Of course all men are not like that! So sad though! I dont often c people on way to work on my bycicle at 3 in morn but when I do get very nervous saw a lone young man this morning was scary I must admit x"

Thats what i was asking

Do men feel that same fear? Do they modify their behaviour ( such as not going on the tube too late) because they feel frightened?

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By *he Devils Daughter! OP   Woman  over a year ago

some where in yorkshire


"Do you think they crossed the road and asked if you were OK in light of what's happened and the conversations that are finally happening?

It shows that the conversations, the speaking up has needed to happen for far too long, and there's 2 lads that have listened.

Good on them and hopefully this is the start of a massive shift and consideration about everyday behaviours that can make others uncomfortable. "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I am in no way belittling this tragic and sad awful news.

But it feels to me like another Madeline Mcann situation- the victim has to be English middle class, white, blonde haired and blue eyed for anyone to give a shit

Thousands of women and children get ×aped and murdered every day - but they don't make the news and it appears no one cares

all that says to me is the discussion is well over due because we should have been caring before

i think it probably has more with everyone being at home and other than covid not much happening so when she went missing people sat up snd took notice but even if it is because she is white middle class i don’t think its a reason to sweep yet another under the rug like those that have gone before

There are SO many discussions that are long overdue though.

It often feels like we must have a 'cause' of the week

What happened to the discussions about mental health since Caroline Flack passed?

Is our society broken?

i mean i still see this brought up regularly and its even been on the radio and there was a documentary this week with it being a year since her anniversary

but like i said i think things get hyped focus while everyone is home and don’t have as many distractions

What I meant was there are many issues that we dont address in this country

They ARE swept under the carpet

Until they are front page news. And after a week we are onto the next cause."

I agree!

We still live in a society where women are not equal to men in many aspects.

There are cultural and generational divides between men & women and though on the whole we will never be able to address them all, media for all its faults, does give a platform for these discussions to start taking place and I am very grateful for that.

Education is key here, education and understanding

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By *ugby 123Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo


"n say sorry if they feel the need?

Why should anyone apologise for something they didn’t do!

One man cannot apologise on behalf of his whole gender, that’s ridiculous!

"

This

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By *ugby 123Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo


"It seems all related threads have been removed by Fab so I guess this one will be too.

I don't think they have only ones that have broken site rules I did one the other day that still there.

Three have been removed today

It's what talked about on the thread not the subject matter that those threads were removed.

What was spoken about that was against the rules?

I believe Part of it was people using banned words and replacing them with other letters and symbols. "

It wasn't

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By *tue555Man  over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach


"Of course all men are not like that! So sad though! I dont often c people on way to work on my bycicle at 3 in morn but when I do get very nervous saw a lone young man this morning was scary I must admit x

Thats what i was asking

Do men feel that same fear? Do they modify their behaviour ( such as not going on the tube too late) because they feel frightened?"

Yes!!

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By *ugby 123Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Can I put a stop to the questions about threads being removed, for one it isn't allowed to do this on the forum and two you are detracting from the subject in hand and three it doesn't help that people are getting it wrong anyway

Threads were shut today because they were asking for peoples experiences in situations that are not allowed on the forum, if anyone wants to check out the forum rules they are here.

For the people who constantly do this on threads, please stop , it is against those same rules and you will be banned if you carry on

https://www.fabswingers.com/content/forum-rules

Back to the OP please

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Of course all men are not like that! So sad though! I dont often c people on way to work on my bycicle at 3 in morn but when I do get very nervous saw a lone young man this morning was scary I must admit x

Thats what i was asking

Do men feel that same fear? Do they modify their behaviour ( such as not going on the tube too late) because they feel frightened?

Yes!!"

I'm interested to hear mens views on this

C'mon guys. Speak up

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By *ugby 123Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Oh and stop implying that men who post on here are attackers please, it really isn't pleasant

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It’s truely horrific what happened to this young woman n may she rest in peace but the men bashing that has come out from this am I right or wrong in saying not all men are like this ... not all men are murdere’s .. tonight I walked home in the dark alone from the local shop yes I was nervous n felt vulnerable but the 2 guys that were walking behind me up the same road both crossed over the road n didn’t make me feel intimidated both young men asked if I was ok ... just goes to show there is some nice guys out there "

Nope not all men, at all. I don't expect a man to change his behaviour to me neither will I expect him too. Perspective is everything

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't think women raising their concerns and speaking out about things that happened to them or things that makes them feel uncomfortable is man bashing and devalues womens experiences. the way I read a lot of comments yesterday certainly was ! And most men either didn’t dare comment or simple said sorry !

Why because people don't like it when women tell their stories and they don't feel comfortable?

And why shouldn't a man say sorry if they feel the need?

Why should anyone apologise for something they didn’t do!

One man cannot apologise on behalf of his whole gender, that’s ridiculous!

I’ve recently started teaching my son not to apologise unless he knows what he’s apologising for..... but then again I also teach him to respect everyone not just women and that no means no.

But my point was the we don't know why these men have apologised, Is it because they have felt the in the past maybe they have been as considerate as they could have been?

Yes of course you will also get people that apologise just because they feel it will make them look good but who do we know its not genuine. "

Just to clarify I was not suggesting that anybody who has apologised has something to apologise for I was thinking specifically to a comment I saw on a thread yesterday where a male poster said the he Had never thought about how where he sat on the bus or walking past a woman late at night might make her feel so I was Was meaning people are maybe considering how their behaviour impact others rather than they had actually done anything wrong.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman  over a year ago

On a mooch


"It’s truely horrific what happened to this young woman n may she rest in peace but the men bashing that has come out from this am I right or wrong in saying not all men are like this ... not all men are murdere’s .. tonight I walked home in the dark alone from the local shop yes I was nervous n felt vulnerable but the 2 guys that were walking behind me up the same road both crossed over the road n didn’t make me feel intimidated both young men asked if I was ok ... just goes to show there is some nice guys out there

Nope not all men, at all. I don't expect a man to change his behaviour to me neither will I expect him too. Perspective is everything"

Agree. If I see a person or group in front of me, irrespective of gender, I will cross the road and I wouldn’t expect them to cross for me. The reason this normally happens is if they appear d*unk or an obnoxious group.

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By *ionelhutzMan  over a year ago

liverpool


"Of course all men are not like that! So sad though! I dont often c people on way to work on my bycicle at 3 in morn but when I do get very nervous saw a lone young man this morning was scary I must admit x

Thats what i was asking

Do men feel that same fear? Do they modify their behaviour ( such as not going on the tube too late) because they feel frightened?

Yes!!

I'm interested to hear mens views on this

C'mon guys. Speak up"

It depends

I think mens fear is more about getting jumped and I'd feel wary about walking round certain areas on my own.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Of course all men are not like that! So sad though! I dont often c people on way to work on my bycicle at 3 in morn but when I do get very nervous saw a lone young man this morning was scary I must admit x

Thats what i was asking

Do men feel that same fear? Do they modify their behaviour ( such as not going on the tube too late) because they feel frightened?

Yes!!

I'm interested to hear mens views on this

C'mon guys. Speak up

It depends

I think mens fear is more about getting jumped and I'd feel wary about walking round certain areas on my own."

Same as women then ?!?

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By *ionelhutzMan  over a year ago

liverpool


"Of course all men are not like that! So sad though! I dont often c people on way to work on my bycicle at 3 in morn but when I do get very nervous saw a lone young man this morning was scary I must admit x

Thats what i was asking

Do men feel that same fear? Do they modify their behaviour ( such as not going on the tube too late) because they feel frightened?

Yes!!

I'm interested to hear mens views on this

C'mon guys. Speak up

It depends

I think mens fear is more about getting jumped and I'd feel wary about walking round certain areas on my own.

Same as women then ?!?"

I dont want to speak for women but I thought a woman would be more worried about a sexual attack?

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By *abioMan  over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

The reaction of the met police tonight was extremely tone deaf and tone blind.... the optics are going to look awful.....

Heads will roll

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Of course all men are not like that! So sad though! I dont often c people on way to work on my bycicle at 3 in morn but when I do get very nervous saw a lone young man this morning was scary I must admit x

Thats what i was asking

Do men feel that same fear? Do they modify their behaviour ( such as not going on the tube too late) because they feel frightened?

Yes!!

I'm interested to hear mens views on this

C'mon guys. Speak up

It depends

I think mens fear is more about getting jumped and I'd feel wary about walking round certain areas on my own.

Same as women then ?!?

I dont want to speak for women but I thought a woman would be more worried about a sexual attack?"

I don’t really know how to answer that...

firstly I think anyone is concerned about any kind of attack. Women aren’t only attacked sexually.

Secondly, you do know that men can be sexually attacked too right? By other men?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Let’s be honest here it’s a horrific thing that has happened to her but if she lived on a council estate had 3 kids and work at Aldi it would hardly make the news "

There's another missing woman at the moment, last seen on Tuesday.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The reaction of the met police tonight was extremely tone deaf and tone blind.... the optics are going to look awful.....

Heads will roll"

Agreed how they responded tonight is going to go down like a lead balloon

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Of course all men are not like that! So sad though! I dont often c people on way to work on my bycicle at 3 in morn but when I do get very nervous saw a lone young man this morning was scary I must admit x

Thats what i was asking

Do men feel that same fear? Do they modify their behaviour ( such as not going on the tube too late) because they feel frightened?

Yes!!

I'm interested to hear mens views on this

C'mon guys. Speak up"

Yes I do... I know where not to really walk late on. If I have to go out I will take a longer route to my destination.

I avoid the park and don't listen to my music.. it's the being jumped by 10 people that concerns me.. being a father I have to think of that rather than be slack and end up in a situation I can avoid.

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By *heBirminghamWeekendMan  over a year ago

here


"The reaction of the met police tonight was extremely tone deaf and tone blind.... the optics are going to look awful.....

Heads will roll

Agreed how they responded tonight is going to go down like a lead balloon

"

Shocking, really shocking

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By *ionelhutzMan  over a year ago

liverpool


"Of course all men are not like that! So sad though! I dont often c people on way to work on my bycicle at 3 in morn but when I do get very nervous saw a lone young man this morning was scary I must admit x

Thats what i was asking

Do men feel that same fear? Do they modify their behaviour ( such as not going on the tube too late) because they feel frightened?

Yes!!

I'm interested to hear mens views on this

C'mon guys. Speak up

It depends

I think mens fear is more about getting jumped and I'd feel wary about walking round certain areas on my own.

Same as women then ?!?

I dont want to speak for women but I thought a woman would be more worried about a sexual attack?

I don’t really know how to answer that...

firstly I think anyone is concerned about any kind of attack. Women aren’t only attacked sexually.

Secondly, you do know that men can be sexually attacked too right? By other men? "

Hence my opening statement.

The question was asked and I answered honestly.

I do apologise if I didnt answer correctly.

Whilst obviously men are sexually attacked, my personal main worry would be getting mugged/attacked.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Let’s be honest here it’s a horrific thing that has happened to her but if she lived on a council estate had 3 kids and work at Aldi it would hardly make the news

There's another missing woman at the moment, last seen on Tuesday.

"

There’s hundreds of missing women at the moment!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Of course all men are not like that! So sad though! I dont often c people on way to work on my bycicle at 3 in morn but when I do get very nervous saw a lone young man this morning was scary I must admit x

Thats what i was asking

Do men feel that same fear? Do they modify their behaviour ( such as not going on the tube too late) because they feel frightened?

Yes!!

I'm interested to hear mens views on this

C'mon guys. Speak up

It depends

I think mens fear is more about getting jumped and I'd feel wary about walking round certain areas on my own.

Same as women then ?!?

I dont want to speak for women but I thought a woman would be more worried about a sexual attack?

I don’t really know how to answer that...

firstly I think anyone is concerned about any kind of attack. Women aren’t only attacked sexually.

Secondly, you do know that men can be sexually attacked too right? By other men?

Hence my opening statement.

The question was asked and I answered honestly.

I do apologise if I didnt answer correctly.

Whilst obviously men are sexually attacked, my personal main worry would be getting mugged/attacked. "

So put it another way.... what do you feel you have to do to not be mugged/attacked?

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By *eoeclipseWoman  over a year ago

glasgow

I took a walk into george square for one of the vidals, only 2 police there. Few folk there but certainly not a protest.

Lots of flowers & cards left for sarah on benches along side poems and experiences of others including my own, which highlights the lack of protection within the law.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Of course all men are not like that! So sad though! I dont often c people on way to work on my bycicle at 3 in morn but when I do get very nervous saw a lone young man this morning was scary I must admit x

Thats what i was asking

Do men feel that same fear? Do they modify their behaviour ( such as not going on the tube too late) because they feel frightened?

Yes!!

I'm interested to hear mens views on this

C'mon guys. Speak up

It depends

I think mens fear is more about getting jumped and I'd feel wary about walking round certain areas on my own.

Same as women then ?!?

I dont want to speak for women but I thought a woman would be more worried about a sexual attack?

I don’t really know how to answer that...

firstly I think anyone is concerned about any kind of attack. Women aren’t only attacked sexually.

Secondly, you do know that men can be sexually attacked too right? By other men? "

they can but its less common, i agree on the woman can be worried about either though, i wouldn’t be thinking in one scenario one would happen and in a different scenario the other, i would just be thinking is this situation safe for me

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Of course all men are not like that! So sad though! I dont often c people on way to work on my bycicle at 3 in morn but when I do get very nervous saw a lone young man this morning was scary I must admit x

Thats what i was asking

Do men feel that same fear? Do they modify their behaviour ( such as not going on the tube too late) because they feel frightened?

Yes!!

I'm interested to hear mens views on this

C'mon guys. Speak up

It depends

I think mens fear is more about getting jumped and I'd feel wary about walking round certain areas on my own.

Same as women then ?!?

I dont want to speak for women but I thought a woman would be more worried about a sexual attack?

I don’t really know how to answer that...

firstly I think anyone is concerned about any kind of attack. Women aren’t only attacked sexually.

Secondly, you do know that men can be sexually attacked too right? By other men?

they can but its less common, i agree on the woman can be worried about either though, i wouldn’t be thinking in one scenario one would happen and in a different scenario the other, i would just be thinking is this situation safe for me "

Is it less common or is it reported less because Men feel ashamed/afraid to speak out???

Does the media only report statistics for their own agenda

Regardless of which gender is more at risk the fact is everyone has a right to feel safe

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I took a walk into george square for one of the vidals, only 2 police there. Few folk there but certainly not a protest.

Lots of flowers & cards left for sarah on benches along side poems and experiences of others including my own, which highlights the lack of protection within the law. "

the organisation in glasgow asked people not to come for a vigil but instead leave stories or comments in freezer bags to protect them and the group will pick them all up later and collate them

sounds like in london it was cancelled with nothing else that felt meaningful out in its place so people still turned up which is to be expected but with no proper organisation and the police over reacted

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Of course all men are not like that! So sad though! I dont often c people on way to work on my bycicle at 3 in morn but when I do get very nervous saw a lone young man this morning was scary I must admit x

Thats what i was asking

Do men feel that same fear? Do they modify their behaviour ( such as not going on the tube too late) because they feel frightened?

Yes!!

I'm interested to hear mens views on this

C'mon guys. Speak up

It depends

I think mens fear is more about getting jumped and I'd feel wary about walking round certain areas on my own.

Same as women then ?!?

I dont want to speak for women but I thought a woman would be more worried about a sexual attack?

I don’t really know how to answer that...

firstly I think anyone is concerned about any kind of attack. Women aren’t only attacked sexually.

Secondly, you do know that men can be sexually attacked too right? By other men?

they can but its less common, i agree on the woman can be worried about either though, i wouldn’t be thinking in one scenario one would happen and in a different scenario the other, i would just be thinking is this situation safe for me "

But that’s the point though isn’t it?

It should be safe for you

It should be safe for me

It should be safe for a woman

It should be safe for a man

Sadly it isn’t!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Of course all men are not like that! So sad though! I dont often c people on way to work on my bycicle at 3 in morn but when I do get very nervous saw a lone young man this morning was scary I must admit x

Thats what i was asking

Do men feel that same fear? Do they modify their behaviour ( such as not going on the tube too late) because they feel frightened?

Yes!!

I'm interested to hear mens views on this

C'mon guys. Speak up

It depends

I think mens fear is more about getting jumped and I'd feel wary about walking round certain areas on my own.

Same as women then ?!?

I dont want to speak for women but I thought a woman would be more worried about a sexual attack?

I don’t really know how to answer that...

firstly I think anyone is concerned about any kind of attack. Women aren’t only attacked sexually.

Secondly, you do know that men can be sexually attacked too right? By other men?

they can but its less common, i agree on the woman can be worried about either though, i wouldn’t be thinking in one scenario one would happen and in a different scenario the other, i would just be thinking is this situation safe for me

Is it less common or is it reported less because Men feel ashamed/afraid to speak out???

Does the media only report statistics for their own agenda

Regardless of which gender is more at risk the fact is everyone has a right to feel safe"

i think both , male on male sexual attack is under reported, but its also less common than male on female

i dont disagree that we all have a right to feel safe, but lionel also had a right to say he feels more at risk of a violent attack than a sexual one but all it got him was an eye roll for saying he honestly felt less at risk than a woman

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By *ionelhutzMan  over a year ago

liverpool


"Of course all men are not like that! So sad though! I dont often c people on way to work on my bycicle at 3 in morn but when I do get very nervous saw a lone young man this morning was scary I must admit x

Thats what i was asking

Do men feel that same fear? Do they modify their behaviour ( such as not going on the tube too late) because they feel frightened?

Yes!!

I'm interested to hear mens views on this

C'mon guys. Speak up

It depends

I think mens fear is more about getting jumped and I'd feel wary about walking round certain areas on my own.

Same as women then ?!?

I dont want to speak for women but I thought a woman would be more worried about a sexual attack?

I don’t really know how to answer that...

firstly I think anyone is concerned about any kind of attack. Women aren’t only attacked sexually.

Secondly, you do know that men can be sexually attacked too right? By other men?

they can but its less common, i agree on the woman can be worried about either though, i wouldn’t be thinking in one scenario one would happen and in a different scenario the other, i would just be thinking is this situation safe for me

Is it less common or is it reported less because Men feel ashamed/afraid to speak out???

Does the media only report statistics for their own agenda

Regardless of which gender is more at risk the fact is everyone has a right to feel safe

i think both , male on male sexual attack is under reported, but its also less common than male on female

i dont disagree that we all have a right to feel safe, but lionel also had a right to say he feels more at risk of a violent attack than a sexual one but all it got him was an eye roll for saying he honestly felt less at risk than a woman "

Thank you

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Of course all men are not like that! So sad though! I dont often c people on way to work on my bycicle at 3 in morn but when I do get very nervous saw a lone young man this morning was scary I must admit x

Thats what i was asking

Do men feel that same fear? Do they modify their behaviour ( such as not going on the tube too late) because they feel frightened?

Yes!!

I'm interested to hear mens views on this

C'mon guys. Speak up

It depends

I think mens fear is more about getting jumped and I'd feel wary about walking round certain areas on my own.

Same as women then ?!?

I dont want to speak for women but I thought a woman would be more worried about a sexual attack?

I don’t really know how to answer that...

firstly I think anyone is concerned about any kind of attack. Women aren’t only attacked sexually.

Secondly, you do know that men can be sexually attacked too right? By other men?

they can but its less common, i agree on the woman can be worried about either though, i wouldn’t be thinking in one scenario one would happen and in a different scenario the other, i would just be thinking is this situation safe for me

Is it less common or is it reported less because Men feel ashamed/afraid to speak out???

Does the media only report statistics for their own agenda

Regardless of which gender is more at risk the fact is everyone has a right to feel safe

i think both , male on male sexual attack is under reported, but its also less common than male on female

i dont disagree that we all have a right to feel safe, but lionel also had a right to say he feels more at risk of a violent attack than a sexual one but all it got him was an eye roll for saying he honestly felt less at risk than a woman

Thank you"

i dont understand why we ask men to engage honestly then shut them down for not having the answer we wanted - honest thoughts will be a range of things, finding out what they are is the point, if some of them happen to be problematic (which actually i don’t think yours was) then we work on trying to fix that afterward but if you shut it down at step one you get no where

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By *inkerbell67Woman  over a year ago

Clacton on sea essex

Why dont you get a taxi home ....

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Of course all men are not like that! So sad though! I dont often c people on way to work on my bycicle at 3 in morn but when I do get very nervous saw a lone young man this morning was scary I must admit x

Thats what i was asking

Do men feel that same fear? Do they modify their behaviour ( such as not going on the tube too late) because they feel frightened?

Yes!!

I'm interested to hear mens views on this

C'mon guys. Speak up

It depends

I think mens fear is more about getting jumped and I'd feel wary about walking round certain areas on my own.

Same as women then ?!?

I dont want to speak for women but I thought a woman would be more worried about a sexual attack?

I don’t really know how to answer that...

firstly I think anyone is concerned about any kind of attack. Women aren’t only attacked sexually.

Secondly, you do know that men can be sexually attacked too right? By other men?

they can but its less common, i agree on the woman can be worried about either though, i wouldn’t be thinking in one scenario one would happen and in a different scenario the other, i would just be thinking is this situation safe for me

Is it less common or is it reported less because Men feel ashamed/afraid to speak out???

Does the media only report statistics for their own agenda

Regardless of which gender is more at risk the fact is everyone has a right to feel safe

i think both , male on male sexual attack is under reported, but its also less common than male on female

i dont disagree that we all have a right to feel safe, but lionel also had a right to say he feels more at risk of a violent attack than a sexual one but all it got him was an eye roll for saying he honestly felt less at risk than a woman "

No.

The point I was making was that he too feels threatened in certain circumstances, therefore he knows how women feel.

Whether it’s a mugging, stabbing, sexual attack.. when you’re first approached you don’t know what the ending will be!!

No-one, absolutely no-one should feel that they can’t do something for fear of being attacked.

The more men who start to realise that they too have had those feelings of fear, the more this issue can be thought about, talked about and educated about.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *eoeclipseWoman  over a year ago

glasgow


"Why dont you get a taxi home ...."

Taxi attacks are also common, no money, why should i have to?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Of course all men are not like that! So sad though! I dont often c people on way to work on my bycicle at 3 in morn but when I do get very nervous saw a lone young man this morning was scary I must admit x

Thats what i was asking

Do men feel that same fear? Do they modify their behaviour ( such as not going on the tube too late) because they feel frightened?

Yes!!

I'm interested to hear mens views on this

C'mon guys. Speak up

It depends

I think mens fear is more about getting jumped and I'd feel wary about walking round certain areas on my own.

Same as women then ?!?

I dont want to speak for women but I thought a woman would be more worried about a sexual attack?

I don’t really know how to answer that...

firstly I think anyone is concerned about any kind of attack. Women aren’t only attacked sexually.

Secondly, you do know that men can be sexually attacked too right? By other men?

they can but its less common, i agree on the woman can be worried about either though, i wouldn’t be thinking in one scenario one would happen and in a different scenario the other, i would just be thinking is this situation safe for me

Is it less common or is it reported less because Men feel ashamed/afraid to speak out???

Does the media only report statistics for their own agenda

Regardless of which gender is more at risk the fact is everyone has a right to feel safe

i think both , male on male sexual attack is under reported, but its also less common than male on female

i dont disagree that we all have a right to feel safe, but lionel also had a right to say he feels more at risk of a violent attack than a sexual one but all it got him was an eye roll for saying he honestly felt less at risk than a woman

No.

The point I was making was that he too feels threatened in certain circumstances, therefore he knows how women feel.

Whether it’s a mugging, stabbing, sexual attack.. when you’re first approached you don’t know what the ending will be!!

No-one, absolutely no-one should feel that they can’t do something for fear of being attacked.

The more men who start to realise that they too have had those feelings of fear, the more this issue can be thought about, talked about and educated about."

well it wasn’t how it read to me or presumably lionel since he apologised like he had been chastised for his contribution

that point could have been made without making him feel like he was somehow wrong for not acknowledging that he was also at risk of sexual attack - naive or not if its something he doesn’t fear its something he doesn’t fear

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ionelhutzMan  over a year ago

liverpool


"Of course all men are not like that! So sad though! I dont often c people on way to work on my bycicle at 3 in morn but when I do get very nervous saw a lone young man this morning was scary I must admit x

Thats what i was asking

Do men feel that same fear? Do they modify their behaviour ( such as not going on the tube too late) because they feel frightened?

Yes!!

I'm interested to hear mens views on this

C'mon guys. Speak up

It depends

I think mens fear is more about getting jumped and I'd feel wary about walking round certain areas on my own.

Same as women then ?!?

I dont want to speak for women but I thought a woman would be more worried about a sexual attack?

I don’t really know how to answer that...

firstly I think anyone is concerned about any kind of attack. Women aren’t only attacked sexually.

Secondly, you do know that men can be sexually attacked too right? By other men?

they can but its less common, i agree on the woman can be worried about either though, i wouldn’t be thinking in one scenario one would happen and in a different scenario the other, i would just be thinking is this situation safe for me

Is it less common or is it reported less because Men feel ashamed/afraid to speak out???

Does the media only report statistics for their own agenda

Regardless of which gender is more at risk the fact is everyone has a right to feel safe

i think both , male on male sexual attack is under reported, but its also less common than male on female

i dont disagree that we all have a right to feel safe, but lionel also had a right to say he feels more at risk of a violent attack than a sexual one but all it got him was an eye roll for saying he honestly felt less at risk than a woman

Thank you

i dont understand why we ask men to engage honestly then shut them down for not having the answer we wanted - honest thoughts will be a range of things, finding out what they are is the point, if some of them happen to be problematic (which actually i don’t think yours was) then we work on trying to fix that afterward but if you shut it down at step one you get no where "

Quite how your own personal experience can be 'wrong 'is anyones guess but whatevs.

I've been jumped in the past and my fear would be more getting mugged or battered.

I'm guessing this is much more common than a sexual attack,for men

Not that it doesnt happen but it's much rarer.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A question for the single females on here....when you arrange to meet a man from here either in your home...hotel...his home..do you tell anyone where you are and who you're with? And same for the single guys....do you tell anyone where you are and with who? Especially the guys who are cheating....

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By *ea monkeyMan  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I can see why guys have felt under pressure over this issue, it’s intense and I think that some are starting to see the female experience for the first time.

Guilt is a fair response but not helpful in terms of building to a resolution.

Unfortunately there are some who have entrenched views and think that as men, they’re ‘under attack’, which really isn’t the case.

Personally I believe that we have a responsibility to each other and to keep each other safe, it’s not about taking responsibility for others misdeeds but it is about finding a common resolution. Challenging problematic behaviours is just the most basic way of starting that.

It’s that “it’s all men” but it is all women and that’s horrific

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman  over a year ago

On a mooch


"A question for the single females on here....when you arrange to meet a man from here either in your home...hotel...his home..do you tell anyone where you are and who you're with? And same for the single guys....do you tell anyone where you are and with who? Especially the guys who are cheating...."

I don’t tell anyone, but I never meet anywhere except for a very public place, no one comes to my home and it’s only after talking for quite some time.

If something was to ever happen there is enough information left behind to establish where I was meeting, who I was meeting and how I know them.

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By *ittleAcornMan  over a year ago

visiting the beach


"A question for the single females on here....when you arrange to meet a man from here either in your home...hotel...his home..do you tell anyone where you are and who you're with? And same for the single guys....do you tell anyone where you are and with who? Especially the guys who are cheating....

"

As a bloke I have done this.

It seems a sensible step to take for anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"A question for the single females on here....when you arrange to meet a man from here either in your home...hotel...his home..do you tell anyone where you are and who you're with? And same for the single guys....do you tell anyone where you are and with who? Especially the guys who are cheating...."

it’s been a long time since I’ve met but when i did wouldn’t skip straight to someones home/ hotel or having them in my home - i think you never quite get a feel for a person til you met them in person , i know men and have had the discussion with them who feel the same - i’ve heard stories from men i met of them turning up to a flat to meet a woman and realising quite quickly there was someone else hiding in the bedroom and without hanging about to see what the story was they were right out of there

the cheaters point probably raises a conundrum for them - are they more at risk of being caught cheating by telling a friend than they are of the meet being dangerous - my guess is their need to protect the lie probably over rides any other thoughts of safety

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By *oncupiscence73Woman  over a year ago

South


"A question for the single females on here....when you arrange to meet a man from here either in your home...hotel...his home..do you tell anyone where you are and who you're with? And same for the single guys....do you tell anyone where you are and with who? Especially the guys who are cheating...."

Yep ... where... when... persons number who I’m meeting and I check in with them half hour after I’ve met them and again after the meet.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Of course all men are not like that! So sad though! I dont often c people on way to work on my bycicle at 3 in morn but when I do get very nervous saw a lone young man this morning was scary I must admit x

Thats what i was asking

Do men feel that same fear? Do they modify their behaviour ( such as not going on the tube too late) because they feel frightened?

Yes!!

I'm interested to hear mens views on this

C'mon guys. Speak up

It depends

I think mens fear is more about getting jumped and I'd feel wary about walking round certain areas on my own.

Same as women then ?!?

I dont want to speak for women but I thought a woman would be more worried about a sexual attack?

I don’t really know how to answer that...

firstly I think anyone is concerned about any kind of attack. Women aren’t only attacked sexually.

Secondly, you do know that men can be sexually attacked too right? By other men?

they can but its less common, i agree on the woman can be worried about either though, i wouldn’t be thinking in one scenario one would happen and in a different scenario the other, i would just be thinking is this situation safe for me

Is it less common or is it reported less because Men feel ashamed/afraid to speak out???

Does the media only report statistics for their own agenda

Regardless of which gender is more at risk the fact is everyone has a right to feel safe

i think both , male on male sexual attack is under reported, but its also less common than male on female

i dont disagree that we all have a right to feel safe, but lionel also had a right to say he feels more at risk of a violent attack than a sexual one but all it got him was an eye roll for saying he honestly felt less at risk than a woman

No.

The point I was making was that he too feels threatened in certain circumstances, therefore he knows how women feel.

Whether it’s a mugging, stabbing, sexual attack.. when you’re first approached you don’t know what the ending will be!!

No-one, absolutely no-one should feel that they can’t do something for fear of being attacked.

The more men who start to realise that they too have had those feelings of fear, the more this issue can be thought about, talked about and educated about.

well it wasn’t how it read to me or presumably lionel since he apologised like he had been chastised for his contribution

that point could have been made without making him feel like he was somehow wrong for not acknowledging that he was also at risk of sexual attack - naive or not if its something he doesn’t fear its something he doesn’t fear "

Your first paragraph... I didn’t make any comments chastising his response.

The point was made to everyone, clearly stating that it’s not just women that can feel threatened.

This issue is so much bigger than a woman being attacked walking home.

Threads like these force conversation, they force people to think about things that they may not have even had a concern about.

I’ve learned from this thread and at the end of the day that’s what it is about!

Learning from others’ experiences

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Of course all men are not like that! So sad though! I dont often c people on way to work on my bycicle at 3 in morn but when I do get very nervous saw a lone young man this morning was scary I must admit x

Thats what i was asking

Do men feel that same fear? Do they modify their behaviour ( such as not going on the tube too late) because they feel frightened?

Yes!!

I'm interested to hear mens views on this

C'mon guys. Speak up

It depends

I think mens fear is more about getting jumped and I'd feel wary about walking round certain areas on my own.

Same as women then ?!?

I dont want to speak for women but I thought a woman would be more worried about a sexual attack?

I don’t really know how to answer that...

firstly I think anyone is concerned about any kind of attack. Women aren’t only attacked sexually.

Secondly, you do know that men can be sexually attacked too right? By other men?

they can but its less common, i agree on the woman can be worried about either though, i wouldn’t be thinking in one scenario one would happen and in a different scenario the other, i would just be thinking is this situation safe for me

Is it less common or is it reported less because Men feel ashamed/afraid to speak out???

Does the media only report statistics for their own agenda

Regardless of which gender is more at risk the fact is everyone has a right to feel safe

i think both , male on male sexual attack is under reported, but its also less common than male on female

i dont disagree that we all have a right to feel safe, but lionel also had a right to say he feels more at risk of a violent attack than a sexual one but all it got him was an eye roll for saying he honestly felt less at risk than a woman

Thank you

i dont understand why we ask men to engage honestly then shut them down for not having the answer we wanted - honest thoughts will be a range of things, finding out what they are is the point, if some of them happen to be problematic (which actually i don’t think yours was) then we work on trying to fix that afterward but if you shut it down at step one you get no where "

I never shut him down....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"A question for the single females on here....when you arrange to meet a man from here either in your home...hotel...his home..do you tell anyone where you are and who you're with? And same for the single guys....do you tell anyone where you are and with who? Especially the guys who are cheating...."

I do this every time!

I have 2 people that I pass the info onto.

One I asked for his surname and he kicked off, I explained why and he yelled a lot stating that I was already accusing him of being a ****

I turned it around and asked him if he would be ok with his sister or daughter meeting a stranger and he said that’s different... they’re not meeting for sex!....

Mind blown

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Secondly, you do know that men can be sexually attacked too right? By other men?

that was what you said , call it chastised, patronised, shutting him down, whatever description you want to give it of your own since you haven’t liked mine

wether it was intended or not , the tone and eye roll comes across as though his response was in some way lacking or incorrect when he was just answering a question about his own experience

anyway having been on the other end of a debate with lionel many times i know he doesn’t need me to keep this up on his behalf - i just spoke out where i thought what read as a challenge to his comment, seemed to me to be counter intuitive to the point of the thread

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By *JB1954Man  over a year ago

Reading

I was just looking online and did search for assaults ,muggins, attacks and others. This in UK. The amount of reports in various areas throughout the UK is frightening. Most on reading, are male on male with assaults, attacks . The death of this female is very tragic. Yet not much detail given out by police or speculated by press. Perhaps my opinion may be wrong, but assaults etc are so commonplace it is becoming the norm. Unless there is something that stands out .

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Of course all men are not like that! So sad though! I dont often c people on way to work on my bycicle at 3 in morn but when I do get very nervous saw a lone young man this morning was scary I must admit x

Thats what i was asking

Do men feel that same fear? Do they modify their behaviour ( such as not going on the tube too late) because they feel frightened?

Yes!!

I'm interested to hear mens views on this

C'mon guys. Speak up

It depends

I think mens fear is more about getting jumped and I'd feel wary about walking round certain areas on my own.

Same as women then ?!?

I dont want to speak for women but I thought a woman would be more worried about a sexual attack?

I don’t really know how to answer that...

firstly I think anyone is concerned about any kind of attack. Women aren’t only attacked sexually.

Secondly, you do know that men can be sexually attacked too right? By other men?

they can but its less common, i agree on the woman can be worried about either though, i wouldn’t be thinking in one scenario one would happen and in a different scenario the other, i would just be thinking is this situation safe for me

Is it less common or is it reported less because Men feel ashamed/afraid to speak out???

Does the media only report statistics for their own agenda

Regardless of which gender is more at risk the fact is everyone has a right to feel safe

i think both , male on male sexual attack is under reported, but its also less common than male on female

i dont disagree that we all have a right to feel safe, but lionel also had a right to say he feels more at risk of a violent attack than a sexual one but all it got him was an eye roll for saying he honestly felt less at risk than a woman "

It is speculation isn't it, because we don't have the stats on unreported cases

My point is everyone has a right to feel safe regardless. Nobody should be eye rolling anybody for expressing their feelings

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"A question for the single females on here....when you arrange to meet a man from here either in your home...hotel...his home..do you tell anyone where you are and who you're with? And same for the single guys....do you tell anyone where you are and with who? Especially the guys who are cheating....

I do this every time!

I have 2 people that I pass the info onto.

One I asked for his surname and he kicked off, I explained why and he yelled a lot stating that I was already accusing him of being a ****

I turned it around and asked him if he would be ok with his sister or daughter meeting a stranger and he said that’s different... they’re not meeting for sex!....

Mind blown "

Your proving my point....you dont know who your really meeting

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By *aver999Couple  over a year ago

East Mids


"Of course all men are not like that! So sad though! I dont often c people on way to work on my bycicle at 3 in morn but when I do get very nervous saw a lone young man this morning was scary I must admit x

Thats what i was asking

Do men feel that same fear? Do they modify their behaviour ( such as not going on the tube too late) because they feel frightened?

Yes!!

I'm interested to hear mens views on this

C'mon guys. Speak up"

As the male half, I rarely walk in the evening (usually drive) but if I have then yes I've modified my behavior depending on the area taking precautions to avoid the hassle of having to pass d*unks for example (and I'm not implying that women don't). I'll also cross the road to oncoming pedestrians.

Both men and women get attacked and that is unlikely to change so the best we can do is try and reduce the risk.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"A question for the single females on here....when you arrange to meet a man from here either in your home...hotel...his home..do you tell anyone where you are and who you're with? And same for the single guys....do you tell anyone where you are and with who? Especially the guys who are cheating....

I do this every time!

I have 2 people that I pass the info onto.

One I asked for his surname and he kicked off, I explained why and he yelled a lot stating that I was already accusing him of being a ****

I turned it around and asked him if he would be ok with his sister or daughter meeting a stranger and he said that’s different... they’re not meeting for sex!....

Mind blown "

I have never definitely will start I don't tend to meet random randoms but you never know I guess done so much risky stuff over the years

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By *tue555Man  over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach

[Removed by poster at 13/03/21 23:20:52]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Of course all men are not like that! So sad though! I dont often c people on way to work on my bycicle at 3 in morn but when I do get very nervous saw a lone young man this morning was scary I must admit x

Thats what i was asking

Do men feel that same fear? Do they modify their behaviour ( such as not going on the tube too late) because they feel frightened?

Yes!!

I'm interested to hear mens views on this

C'mon guys. Speak up

It depends

I think mens fear is more about getting jumped and I'd feel wary about walking round certain areas on my own.

Same as women then ?!?

I dont want to speak for women but I thought a woman would be more worried about a sexual attack?

I don’t really know how to answer that...

firstly I think anyone is concerned about any kind of attack. Women aren’t only attacked sexually.

Secondly, you do know that men can be sexually attacked too right? By other men?

they can but its less common, i agree on the woman can be worried about either though, i wouldn’t be thinking in one scenario one would happen and in a different scenario the other, i would just be thinking is this situation safe for me

Is it less common or is it reported less because Men feel ashamed/afraid to speak out???

Does the media only report statistics for their own agenda

Regardless of which gender is more at risk the fact is everyone has a right to feel safe

i think both , male on male sexual attack is under reported, but its also less common than male on female

i dont disagree that we all have a right to feel safe, but lionel also had a right to say he feels more at risk of a violent attack than a sexual one but all it got him was an eye roll for saying he honestly felt less at risk than a woman

It is speculation isn't it, because we don't have the stats on unreported cases

My point is everyone has a right to feel safe regardless. Nobody should be eye rolling anybody for expressing their feelings "

I didn’t eye roll when he expressed his feelings.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"A question for the single females on here....when you arrange to meet a man from here either in your home...hotel...his home..do you tell anyone where you are and who you're with? And same for the single guys....do you tell anyone where you are and with who? Especially the guys who are cheating....

I do this every time!

I have 2 people that I pass the info onto.

One I asked for his surname and he kicked off, I explained why and he yelled a lot stating that I was already accusing him of being a ****

I turned it around and asked him if he would be ok with his sister or daughter meeting a stranger and he said that’s different... they’re not meeting for sex!....

Mind blown

I have never definitely will start I don't tend to meet random randoms but you never know I guess done so much risky stuff over the years "

I don’t think you can ever be too careful or over cautious personally x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ionelhutzMan  over a year ago

liverpool


"Secondly, you do know that men can be sexually attacked too right? By other men?

that was what you said , call it chastised, patronised, shutting him down, whatever description you want to give it of your own since you haven’t liked mine

wether it was intended or not , the tone and eye roll comes across as though his response was in some way lacking or incorrect when he was just answering a question about his own experience

anyway having been on the other end of a debate with lionel many times i know he doesn’t need me to keep this up on his behalf - i just spoke out where i thought what read as a challenge to his comment, seemed to me to be counter intuitive to the point of the thread "

Thank you again but just leave it as I dont wanna derail the thread

Its definitely put the issue in the spotlight.There was a fella on the radio before who made a good point that whilst he doesmt feel guilty for being a man ,he does feel responsible, that men are capable of such actions and the power they have in society.

It was a very good distinction I thought.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Secondly, you do know that men can be sexually attacked too right? By other men?

that was what you said , call it chastised, patronised, shutting him down, whatever description you want to give it of your own since you haven’t liked mine

wether it was intended or not , the tone and eye roll comes across as though his response was in some way lacking or incorrect when he was just answering a question about his own experience

anyway having been on the other end of a debate with lionel many times i know he doesn’t need me to keep this up on his behalf - i just spoke out where i thought what read as a challenge to his comment, seemed to me to be counter intuitive to the point of the thread

Thank you again but just leave it as I dont wanna derail the thread

Its definitely put the issue in the spotlight.There was a fella on the radio before who made a good point that whilst he doesmt feel guilty for being a man ,he does feel responsible, that men are capable of such actions and the power they have in society.

It was a very good distinction I thought."

i like what someone said yesterday but the thread is gone so ive lost the wording - it was something along the lines of no not all men are predators but yes all men could contribute to making women feel safer

for some that will be altering their own behaviour for others it will be speaking out against other behaviour and showing support for the discussion

i dont think you should ever feel responsible for the actions of another, but it is possible to feel responsible for your own actions when you perhaps overlook something that doesn’t sit right with you if that makes sense - daniel sloss did a good bit on explaining this

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Of course all men are not like that! So sad though! I dont often c people on way to work on my bycicle at 3 in morn but when I do get very nervous saw a lone young man this morning was scary I must admit x

Thats what i was asking

Do men feel that same fear? Do they modify their behaviour ( such as not going on the tube too late) because they feel frightened?

Yes!!

I'm interested to hear mens views on this

C'mon guys. Speak up

It depends

I think mens fear is more about getting jumped and I'd feel wary about walking round certain areas on my own.

Same as women then ?!?

I dont want to speak for women but I thought a woman would be more worried about a sexual attack?

I don’t really know how to answer that...

firstly I think anyone is concerned about any kind of attack. Women aren’t only attacked sexually.

Secondly, you do know that men can be sexually attacked too right? By other men?

they can but its less common, i agree on the woman can be worried about either though, i wouldn’t be thinking in one scenario one would happen and in a different scenario the other, i would just be thinking is this situation safe for me

Is it less common or is it reported less because Men feel ashamed/afraid to speak out???

Does the media only report statistics for their own agenda

Regardless of which gender is more at risk the fact is everyone has a right to feel safe

i think both , male on male sexual attack is under reported, but its also less common than male on female

i dont disagree that we all have a right to feel safe, but lionel also had a right to say he feels more at risk of a violent attack than a sexual one but all it got him was an eye roll for saying he honestly felt less at risk than a woman

It is speculation isn't it, because we don't have the stats on unreported cases

My point is everyone has a right to feel safe regardless. Nobody should be eye rolling anybody for expressing their feelings

I didn’t eye roll when he expressed his feelings.

"

I wasn't sure who that comment was aimed it in all fairness, just knew it wasn't me. I think it is easy to misconstrue intent through text online anyway xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I can’t comment for all men but I’m sure lots would agree with me on this simple point.

I wasn’t born with a moral compass but I was brought up to respect others irrespective of gender, creed or sexuality.

Like many people over the years, I have seen situations where a predatory individual could have taken advantage of another person due a variety of reasons.

However it has never crossed my mind to cross that line, in fact the opposite. I make sure the other person is safe

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By *eoeclipseWoman  over a year ago

glasgow


"I took a walk into george square for one of the vidals, only 2 police there. Few folk there but certainly not a protest.

Lots of flowers & cards left for sarah on benches along side poems and experiences of others including my own, which highlights the lack of protection within the law.

the organisation in glasgow asked people not to come for a vigil but instead leave stories or comments in freezer bags to protect them and the group will pick them all up later and collate them

sounds like in london it was cancelled with nothing else that felt meaningful out in its place so people still turned up which is to be expected but with no proper organisation and the police over reacted "

Do you know the org name? Would pm but your hiding lol

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By *ionelhutzMan  over a year ago

liverpool


"Secondly, you do know that men can be sexually attacked too right? By other men?

that was what you said , call it chastised, patronised, shutting him down, whatever description you want to give it of your own since you haven’t liked mine

wether it was intended or not , the tone and eye roll comes across as though his response was in some way lacking or incorrect when he was just answering a question about his own experience

anyway having been on the other end of a debate with lionel many times i know he doesn’t need me to keep this up on his behalf - i just spoke out where i thought what read as a challenge to his comment, seemed to me to be counter intuitive to the point of the thread

Thank you again but just leave it as I dont wanna derail the thread

Its definitely put the issue in the spotlight.There was a fella on the radio before who made a good point that whilst he doesmt feel guilty for being a man ,he does feel responsible, that men are capable of such actions and the power they have in society.

It was a very good distinction I thought.

i like what someone said yesterday but the thread is gone so ive lost the wording - it was something along the lines of no not all men are predators but yes all men could contribute to making women feel safer

for some that will be altering their own behaviour for others it will be speaking out against other behaviour and showing support for the discussion

i dont think you should ever feel responsible for the actions of another, but it is possible to feel responsible for your own actions when you perhaps overlook something that doesn’t sit right with you if that makes sense - daniel sloss did a good bit on explaining this

"

It was an American fella who has been working in the area for years and talked a lot of sense.I dont think it was so much being responsible for other mens actions but maybe responsibilible for being able to do something about it

I think the comparisons with the not all men and all lives matter are quite valid aswell.

No one is saying not all men are rapists but you can still be aware of the issue.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I took a walk into george square for one of the vidals, only 2 police there. Few folk there but certainly not a protest.

Lots of flowers & cards left for sarah on benches along side poems and experiences of others including my own, which highlights the lack of protection within the law.

the organisation in glasgow asked people not to come for a vigil but instead leave stories or comments in freezer bags to protect them and the group will pick them all up later and collate them

sounds like in london it was cancelled with nothing else that felt meaningful out in its place so people still turned up which is to be expected but with no proper organisation and the police over reacted

Do you know the org name? Would pm but your hiding lol "

i think it was something like reclaim the streets glasgow maybe - there is an article about it on glasgow live

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By *ittleAcornMan  over a year ago

visiting the beach


"Secondly, you do know that men can be sexually attacked too right? By other men?

that was what you said , call it chastised, patronised, shutting him down, whatever description you want to give it of your own since you haven’t liked mine

wether it was intended or not , the tone and eye roll comes across as though his response was in some way lacking or incorrect when he was just answering a question about his own experience

anyway having been on the other end of a debate with lionel many times i know he doesn’t need me to keep this up on his behalf - i just spoke out where i thought what read as a challenge to his comment, seemed to me to be counter intuitive to the point of the thread

Thank you again but just leave it as I dont wanna derail the thread

Its definitely put the issue in the spotlight.There was a fella on the radio before who made a good point that whilst he doesmt feel guilty for being a man ,he does feel responsible, that men are capable of such actions and the power they have in society.

It was a very good distinction I thought.

i like what someone said yesterday but the thread is gone so ive lost the wording - it was something along the lines of no not all men are predators but yes all men could contribute to making women feel safer

for some that will be altering their own behaviour for others it will be speaking out against other behaviour and showing support for the discussion

i dont think you should ever feel responsible for the actions of another, but it is possible to feel responsible for your own actions when you perhaps overlook something that doesn’t sit right with you if that makes sense - daniel sloss did a good bit on explaining this

It was an American fella who has been working in the area for years and talked a lot of sense.I dont think it was so much being responsible for other mens actions but maybe responsibilible for being able to do something about it

I think the comparisons with the not all men and all lives matter are quite valid aswell.

No one is saying not all men are rapists but you can still be aware of the issue.

"

I'm sure as men we've all been in the room when another man has said something creepy, nasty or even funny but very mysoginistic.

I'll put my hand up, I've not often pulled them up on it.

I probably do more so now, but as a youngster in the Army, or playing rugby nah, I laughed along with the rest.

I might never have done anything personally, but I have allowed the environment to continue, where a mind set can be formed that gives a green light to this type of behaviour.

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By *9 kisses.Man  over a year ago

clacton on sea

Its tragic what's happened to Sarah,

Her poor family must be going through a living nightmare,

And for an mp to say men should be indoors after 6PM, is crazy,

I work nights,

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


" I might never have done anything personally, but I have allowed the environment to continue, where a mind set can be formed that gives a green light to this type of behaviour. "

that there for me is literally the perfect outcome to discussions like this - we absolutely know not every man needs to be ashamed of his own behaviour but potentially when they reanalyse it do they acknowledge there was potentially more they could have done (just tiny small things) that have allowed as you say a green light for others poor behaviour

and the more men that can acknowledge it (and the more we educate from a young age) then hopefully it trickles down to the younger men still in that rugby crowd mentality and the confidence to challenge it starts younger and younger , til the ripple effect is it rarely needs to be challenged because there is no longer an environment where people feel safe to behave like that

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Me and a friend just did some quick maths using ONS figures

At worst case sexual offences are committed by 0.34% of Men. That is only against women and we took each as an individual case with no repeat offenders(which would lower the percentage even more)

Easier way to say it is that 99.6% of the Male population do not commit sexual offences...

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By *hubaysiWoman  over a year ago

Leeds


"It’s truely horrific what happened to this young woman n may she rest in peace but the men bashing that has come out from this am I right or wrong in saying not all men are like this ... not all men are murdere’s .. tonight I walked home in the dark alone from the local shop yes I was nervous n felt vulnerable but the 2 guys that were walking behind me up the same road both crossed over the road sadly I have to say I've also crossed the road simply to make the lassie more comfortable, but also to protect myself from any unwarranted accusations.

Why would you be accused of anything? because sadly in the real world there's some strange folks out there, and by simply being a guy,it's easy to be a target for any female that has issues about men."

I really can’t see that just because you are innocently passing a lady in a street you can be accused of doing something bad to her!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Me and a friend just did some quick maths using ONS figures

At worst case sexual offences are committed by 0.34% of Men. That is only against women and we took each as an individual case with no repeat offenders(which would lower the percentage even more)

Easier way to say it is that 99.6% of the Male population do not commit sexual offences...

"

you mean 0.34% of men have committed a sexual offence that was later reported and recorded - and what is the definition of sexual offence in that dats because im sure it doesn’t cover grabbing a handful of ass in a club but plenty women would feel that was harassment

while i take the point you are trying to make that criminals are in the minority, the statistics you are choosing to make the point are very selective and the discussions being had go way beyond something that would get you on an offenders register

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By *lassy_but_sassyWoman  over a year ago

Birmingham


"I don't think women raising their concerns and speaking out about things that happened to them or things that makes them feel uncomfortable is man bashing and devalues womens experiences. "

Absolutely agree! I live alone and in my area I get hassle a lot. I know it's not all men, hell I love men! But we're speaking up about our experiences and that's important for men to hear.

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By *tudiousPipWoman  over a year ago

W Yorks


"It’s truely horrific what happened to this young woman n may she rest in peace but the men bashing that has come out from this am I right or wrong in saying not all men are like this ... not all men are murdere’s .. tonight I walked home in the dark alone from the local shop yes I was nervous n felt vulnerable but the 2 guys that were walking behind me up the same road both crossed over the road n didn’t make me feel intimidated both young men asked if I was ok ... just goes to show there is some nice guys out there "

The fact that they even thought to do that is because of previous attacks, previous womens' stories and the whole #MeToo movement.

I'm so pleased these young men have taken it on board. But that doesn't mean we're done and women are always safe. Does it?

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By *ohnny_1990Man  over a year ago

Brechin

[Removed, we will review]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The worst thing is anyone the urge to cut someone up they must be really messed up in the head to do such a thing. Again and normal woman walking home and some guy just gets The Temptations to stop her it can happen to men or women these days

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Have ladies ever been safe on the streets at night , this isn’t a new thing , ladies have been attacked rapped and killed for as long as I can remember ,sexual attacks isn’t just by men , where I work we have 2 ladies they think it’s great to pinch and bruise men’s nipples , they do this weekly they find it very funny , now let’s turn it around if a man was to keep doing this what would happen , sacked and put on a register, without a doubt but because it’s ladies doing it , we have to just laugh it off as banter , double standards

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


" Cant wait till the details come out"

I wont copy all of that utterly fucking vile post. What sick, twisted person writes that?! I've seen some things written on here but that is just utter putrid.

I have also reported this post. Shame on you.

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By *reeneggsandsamMan  over a year ago

Perpignan and cap

Firstly I live in another country and believe British media to be a complete shit show. Second can't you lot think of anything else to talk about? Third I'm sorry that she was murdered but honestly, holding a fucking candle won't do anything to bring her back. Fourth hang the killer, that'll help prevent more murders. Five, there's going to be more murdered women. Six that woman talking about a curfew for men, woman's liberal chick, wants standing against a wall and laughing at, finally theses are just my knee jerk opinions based on watching the news for five minutes last night. (I wish that I hadn't). I'm not the next jack the ripper.

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By *essie.Woman  over a year ago

Serendipity


" Cant wait till the details come out

I wont copy all of that utterly fucking vile post. What sick, twisted person writes that?! I've seen some things written on here but that is just utter putrid.

I have also reported this post. Shame on you. "

My thoughts exactly.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The full facts of this case remain under investigation so until its made public cant see any need for comments as for crossing road because someone is walking towards me ? i wont be doing that ive as much right as anyone else and wont be pandering to the social media snow flakes .

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By *ittleAcornMan  over a year ago

visiting the beach

They're coming out of the woodwork today.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman  over a year ago

evesham


"The full facts of this case remain under investigation so until its made public cant see any need for comments as for crossing road because someone is walking towards me ? i wont be doing that ive as much right as anyone else and wont be pandering to the social media snow flakes . "

So you're offended at an alternative opinion to yours.... Isn't that the definition of a snowflake?!

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman  over a year ago

evesham


"Have ladies ever been safe on the streets at night , this isn’t a new thing , ladies have been attacked rapped and killed for as long as I can remember ,sexual attacks isn’t just by men , where I work we have 2 ladies they think it’s great to pinch and bruise men’s nipples , they do this weekly they find it very funny , now let’s turn it around if a man was to keep doing this what would happen , sacked and put on a register, without a doubt but because it’s ladies doing it , we have to just laugh it off as banter , double standards "

So stand up... Make complaints of sexual harrassment, be counted, make noise. Don't be mad at women who are standing up and saying the way they are being treated and the way the feel is not OK. Be mad that non of your fellow makes are doing the same about these women.

Just because men don't do things about the harrassment they receive doesn't mean women shouldn't. It's a hard fight. Do you think the first time a woman stood up for herself she was heard and respected? No, it took hundreds and thousands of women to stand up to make change happen.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Femicide census indicated that 8% of murders were carried out by strangers.

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By *ohnny_1990Man  over a year ago

Brechin

Your all hypocrits.! Saying your scared when you go out at night, but then sign up to a swinging site and hapily meet guys for sex... yeah coz thats not putting yourself in a potentialy life threatning situation, you just jump on the band wagon coz everyone else is

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds


"Saying your scared when you go out at night, but then sign up to a swinging site and hapily meet guys for sex... yeah coz thats not putting yourself in a potentialy life threatning situation, "

I don't consider having sex in a club a potentially life threatening situation

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Your all hypocrits.! Saying your scared when you go out at night, but then sign up to a swinging site and hapily meet guys for sex... yeah coz thats not putting yourself in a potentialy life threatning situation, you just jump on the band wagon coz everyone else is"

Since when has meeting men for consensual sex been classed as a "life threatening situation?" Again, you're not doing men any favours saying stupid things like that

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman  over a year ago

evesham


"Your all hypocrits.! Saying your scared when you go out at night, but then sign up to a swinging site and hapily meet guys for sex... yeah coz thats not putting yourself in a potentialy life threatning situation, you just jump on the band wagon coz everyone else is"

Ok. All females leave the site because sex is far too dangerous. Enjoy your sausage fest fellas!

The issue isn't women walking down the street or meeting men for sex it is the element of the male population who think it is OK to intimidate, harass, attack and murder people (of all genders) simply because they cannot control themselves.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Your all hypocrits.! Saying your scared when you go out at night, but then sign up to a swinging site and hapily meet guys for sex... yeah coz thats not putting yourself in a potentialy life threatning situation, you just jump on the band wagon coz everyone else is"

Fair point Jonny but deeply flawed.

Many women 'get to know' the person they will meet. They meet them in safe places and have taken many precautions before being alone with them for intimacy. They might meet in clubs where they would have protection from others.......

It's not really an argument that serves your purpose.

Given the post you made above ( which has unwittingly been set in stone as it was quoted ) I'm building the thesis that you feel forumites are rubber necking or showing a level of distaste by constantly discussing something they don't know anything about as yet....

It's what humans do. We are curious, we have questions.

Don't leave yourself out of it all.... you felt the need to speak. So do others.

Have a lovely mothers day.....

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple  over a year ago

in Lancashire


"Your all hypocrits.! Saying your scared when you go out at night, but then sign up to a swinging site and hapily meet guys for sex... yeah coz thats not putting yourself in a potentialy life threatning situation, you just jump on the band wagon coz everyone else is"

Him here, are you saying you don't think that domestic violence is a problem in society?

And the fact that every three days on average a woman will be murdered in her home by her partner is ok?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Your all hypocrits.! Saying your scared when you go out at night, but then sign up to a swinging site and hapily meet guys for sex... yeah coz thats not putting yourself in a potentialy life threatning situation, you just jump on the band wagon coz everyone else is"

There is a huge difference between being on here, getting to know people, researching someone (veris/asking others etc) and being attacked on the street.

There’s also a thing called consent. It’s my choice to be on here and meet people, it’s not my choice to be sexually harassed/attacked.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Your all hypocrits.! Saying your scared when you go out at night, but then sign up to a swinging site and hapily meet guys for sex... yeah coz thats not putting yourself in a potentialy life threatning situation, you just jump on the band wagon coz everyone else is

Since when has meeting men for consensual sex been classed as a "life threatening situation?" Again, you're not doing men any favours saying stupid things like that "

I see it as a potential life threatening situation. I do all the vetting I can and take my chances.... Same as letting the gas man in really

Why are there no gas women ....????

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Unfortunately forums like those on this site for example only exascabate these feelings that women have of being unsafe - not only in public! Unfortunately you ladies including my other half have to consider how safe is my route home, is it light enough to walk the dogs, is the person approaching me a threat? etc etc but some of the trash that's posted on these forums really make you question men's behaviours - threads like wanking in ladies homes looking for used underwear - I fancy my niece - should I fuck my single lady neighbour! Just some of the posts on here to name a very small amount.

It's really not surprising ladies feel very unsafe by themselves and a lot of men don't help themselves - wolf whistling etc - becoming abusive when told no thanks, its a shame a small minority of the male species let ourselves as a whole down!

Tho to be honest this is society these days as there are times when me being male feels unsafe by myself as in general it feels more violent on the streets now then it did twenty years ago!

Him

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"The full facts of this case remain under investigation so until its made public cant see any need for comments as for crossing road because someone is walking towards me ? i wont be doing that ive as much right as anyone else and wont be pandering to the social media snow flakes . "

You're okay then. Fuck anyone else.

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By *ohnny_1990Man  over a year ago

Brechin

Okay im actually embarassed at what i wrote, and i cant delete it im truly sorry to everyone that had to read that garbage.

Obviously domestic violence is not a laughing matter and id never joke about it, all i was trying to say was a murderer can strike at any point not just at night when your walking down the street. Again im so sorry i wrote that crap.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Your all hypocrits.! Saying your scared when you go out at night, but then sign up to a swinging site and hapily meet guys for sex... yeah coz thats not putting yourself in a potentialy life threatning situation, you just jump on the band wagon coz everyone else is

Since when has meeting men for consensual sex been classed as a "life threatening situation?" Again, you're not doing men any favours saying stupid things like that "

He did say 'potentially' and we shouldn't vilify all men because of the actions of one

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Okay im actually embarassed at what i wrote, and i cant delete it im truly sorry to everyone that had to read that garbage.

Obviously domestic violence is not a laughing matter and id never joke about it, all i was trying to say was a murderer can strike at any point not just at night when your walking down the street. Again im so sorry i wrote that crap."

Well that's one step toward redemption. Well done. No one's ever going to fuck you though.

I still want you to have a Lovely Mothers Day.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Your all hypocrits.! Saying your scared when you go out at night, but then sign up to a swinging site and hapily meet guys for sex... yeah coz thats not putting yourself in a potentialy life threatning situation, you just jump on the band wagon coz everyone else is

Since when has meeting men for consensual sex been classed as a "life threatening situation?" Again, you're not doing men any favours saying stupid things like that

He did say 'potentially' and we shouldn't vilify all men because of the actions of one

"

He did ! and it's FIVE syllables!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Your all hypocrits.! Saying your scared when you go out at night, but then sign up to a swinging site and hapily meet guys for sex... yeah coz thats not putting yourself in a potentialy life threatning situation, you just jump on the band wagon coz everyone else is

Since when has meeting men for consensual sex been classed as a "life threatening situation?" Again, you're not doing men any favours saying stupid things like that

He did say 'potentially' and we shouldn't vilify all men because of the actions of one

He did ! and it's FIVE syllables!"

Five syllables Granny! That is a big word to have 5 syllables

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By *ohnny_1990Man  over a year ago

Brechin


"Your all hypocrits.! Saying your scared when you go out at night, but then sign up to a swinging site and hapily meet guys for sex... yeah coz thats not putting yourself in a potentialy life threatning situation, you just jump on the band wagon coz everyone else is

Since when has meeting men for consensual sex been classed as a "life threatening situation?" Again, you're not doing men any favours saying stupid things like that

He did say 'potentially' and we shouldn't vilify all men because of the actions of one

He did ! and it's FIVE syllables!

Five syllables Granny! That is a big word to have 5 syllables"

Syllables.? What you on about i dont have a S.T.D

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Your all hypocrits.! Saying your scared when you go out at night, but then sign up to a swinging site and hapily meet guys for sex... yeah coz thats not putting yourself in a potentialy life threatning situation, you just jump on the band wagon coz everyone else is

Since when has meeting men for consensual sex been classed as a "life threatening situation?" Again, you're not doing men any favours saying stupid things like that

He did say 'potentially' and we shouldn't vilify all men because of the actions of one

"

I haven’t vilified men

I fucking love men and love fucking men

But when there are people out there who are vilifying men, posts like this don't help

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Your all hypocrits.! Saying your scared when you go out at night, but then sign up to a swinging site and hapily meet guys for sex... yeah coz thats not putting yourself in a potentialy life threatning situation, you just jump on the band wagon coz everyone else is

Since when has meeting men for consensual sex been classed as a "life threatening situation?" Again, you're not doing men any favours saying stupid things like that

He did say 'potentially' and we shouldn't vilify all men because of the actions of one

He did ! and it's FIVE syllables!

Five syllables Granny! That is a big word to have 5 syllables

Syllables.? What you on about i dont have a S.T.D"

One should hope not! Granny would get the brush out if you did

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Your all hypocrits.! Saying your scared when you go out at night, but then sign up to a swinging site and hapily meet guys for sex... yeah coz thats not putting yourself in a potentialy life threatning situation, you just jump on the band wagon coz everyone else is

Since when has meeting men for consensual sex been classed as a "life threatening situation?" Again, you're not doing men any favours saying stupid things like that

I see it as a potential life threatening situation. I do all the vetting I can and take my chances.... Same as letting the gas man in really

Why are there no gas women ....????

"

There are gas women around these parts Granny

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By *ohnny_1990Man  over a year ago

Brechin


"Your all hypocrits.! Saying your scared when you go out at night, but then sign up to a swinging site and hapily meet guys for sex... yeah coz thats not putting yourself in a potentialy life threatning situation, you just jump on the band wagon coz everyone else is

Since when has meeting men for consensual sex been classed as a "life threatening situation?" Again, you're not doing men any favours saying stupid things like that

He did say 'potentially' and we shouldn't vilify all men because of the actions of one

He did ! and it's FIVE syllables!

Five syllables Granny! That is a big word to have 5 syllables

Syllables.? What you on about i dont have a S.T.D

One should hope not! Granny would get the brush out if you did "

Oh crap just googled it and i got mixed up between syllables and syphilis

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By *andare63Man  over a year ago

oldham


"I don't think women raising their concerns and speaking out about things that happened to them or things that makes them feel uncomfortable is man bashing and devalues womens experiences. the way I read a lot of comments yesterday certainly was ! And most men either didn’t dare comment or simple said sorry !

Why because people don't like it when women tell their stories and they don't feel comfortable?

And why shouldn't a man say sorry if they feel the need?

Why should anyone apologise for something they didn’t do!

One man cannot apologise on behalf of his whole gender, that’s ridiculous!

I’ve recently started teaching my son not to apologise unless he knows what he’s apologising for..... but then again I also teach him to respect everyone not just women and that no means no.

"

Totally agree. A man can only control and be responsible for his own behaviour. Under no circumstances would I apologise for another person

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By *entGent75Man  over a year ago

Dartford

[Removed by poster at 14/03/21 09:39:57]

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By *tue555Man  over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach


"Your all hypocrits.! Saying your scared when you go out at night, but then sign up to a swinging site and hapily meet guys for sex... yeah coz thats not putting yourself in a potentialy life threatning situation, you just jump on the band wagon coz everyone else is

Since when has meeting men for consensual sex been classed as a "life threatening situation?" Again, you're not doing men any favours saying stupid things like that

I see it as a potential life threatening situation. I do all the vetting I can and take my chances.... Same as letting the gas man in really

Why are there no gas women ....????

There are gas women around these parts Granny

"

These threads all hidden agendas, some seem to have made it mission or crusade to make men feel bad about men. Guess it's about one upmanship, empowerment, self congratulately.

Some of us a very close to the real female stories. But like all forum judgemtalism it is all done without knowing a single thing about about the person they are judging. Forumism rule.

Granny xx yes we have gas woman grew up with my kids (male) they were friends at school.

She is a lovely lady but I guess I'm not allowed to say that

Gone

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By *ugby 123Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo


"Your all hypocrits.! Saying your scared when you go out at night, but then sign up to a swinging site and hapily meet guys for sex... yeah coz thats not putting yourself in a potentialy life threatning situation, you just jump on the band wagon coz everyone else is

Fair point Jonny but deeply flawed.

Many women 'get to know' the person they will meet. They meet them in safe places and have taken many precautions before being alone with them for intimacy. They might meet in clubs where they would have protection from others.......

. "

Many don't too. Also no matter how many checks or time speaking to someone, it doesn't guarantee that you are safe in their company.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman  over a year ago

evesham


"Your all hypocrits.! Saying your scared when you go out at night, but then sign up to a swinging site and hapily meet guys for sex... yeah coz thats not putting yourself in a potentialy life threatning situation, you just jump on the band wagon coz everyone else is

Since when has meeting men for consensual sex been classed as a "life threatening situation?" Again, you're not doing men any favours saying stupid things like that

I see it as a potential life threatening situation. I do all the vetting I can and take my chances.... Same as letting the gas man in really

Why are there no gas women ....????

There are gas women around these parts Granny

These threads all hidden agendas, some seem to have made it mission or crusade to make men feel bad about men. Guess it's about one upmanship, empowerment, self congratulately.

Some of us a very close to the real female stories. But like all forum judgemtalism it is all done without knowing a single thing about about the person they are judging. Forumism rule.

Granny xx yes we have gas woman grew up with my kids (male) they were friends at school.

She is a lovely lady but I guess I'm not allowed to say that

Gone

"

I found your dummy..... Want it back?

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By *andyfloss2000Woman  over a year ago

ashford


"Your all hypocrits.! Saying your scared when you go out at night, but then sign up to a swinging site and hapily meet guys for sex... yeah coz thats not putting yourself in a potentialy life threatning situation, you just jump on the band wagon coz everyone else is"

Not at all! I'm genuinely worried when I go to work on my cycle and I dont meet in middle of night people from here in a deserted place! Usually a coffee shop to start x

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