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Sarah everard

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Very shocking news story. Women everywhere now scared about personal safety outdoors when outdoors. Men should be aware and be sensitive

Love to hear from WOMEN about what guys can do to support women and behave outdoors in ways that don’t cause fear

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think a lot of women will have been concerned about their personal safety when out and about before the disappearance of Sarah Everard.

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By *melia DominaTV/TS  over a year ago

Edinburgh (She/Her)

Every womam had eyes in the back of her head every single day.

Woman are brought up instinctively from an early age to ensure their own safety. Walking in groups at night, keep to busy well lit roads, where is the escape route etc.

Unfortunately every so often a lapse in that instinctive behaviour results in them being preyed upon.

Women would not need this if harsher penalties were given to those who choose to aggressively seek out and attack woman.

Unfortunately most courts are male driven. The police is male driven. And women have to fight to be heard as with any other time in their lives.

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By *etcplCouple  over a year ago

Gapping Fanny


"Very shocking news story. Women everywhere now scared about personal safety outdoors when outdoors. Men should be aware and be sensitive

Love to hear from WOMEN about what guys can do to support women and behave outdoors in ways that don’t cause fear "

I’d love to know what you think men need to change to support women outside of not being a murderer?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman  over a year ago

evesham


"Every womam had eyes in the back of her head every single day.

Woman are brought up instinctively from an early age to ensure their own safety. Walking in groups at night, keep to busy well lit roads, where is the escape route etc.

Unfortunately every so often a lapse in that instinctive behaviour results in them being preyed upon.

Women would not need this if harsher penalties were given to those who choose to aggressively seek out and attack woman.

Unfortunately most courts are male driven. The police is male driven. And women have to fight to be heard as with any other time in their lives.

"

So it's her fault because she had a lapse in some extra sensory power we're supposed to have?

How about (mostly) men get some special extra sensory power and just don't attack women or make them feel like they have to go round in groups etc?

This isn't about women learning how to be safer. It's about (mostly) men learning to control themselves and not attack people.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

I'm no more scared now than I was before.

If men don't realise their behaviour is intimidating there's nothing I can say. The majority know how to behave

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It's pretty simple really, don't be a predator /murderer etc.

Oh and step in if you see a woman being harassed, followed etc. At least, speaking for myself, that's what I'd want.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Every womam had eyes in the back of her head every single day.

Woman are brought up instinctively from an early age to ensure their own safety. Walking in groups at night, keep to busy well lit roads, where is the escape route etc.

Unfortunately every so often a lapse in that instinctive behaviour results in them being preyed upon.

Women would not need this if harsher penalties were given to those who choose to aggressively seek out and attack woman.

Unfortunately most courts are male driven. The police is male driven. And women have to fight to be heard as with any other time in their lives.

"

This is pretty spot on

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Feeling unsafe goes way deeper than men's behaviour on the street.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Every womam had eyes in the back of her head every single day.

Woman are brought up instinctively from an early age to ensure their own safety. Walking in groups at night, keep to busy well lit roads, where is the escape route etc.

Unfortunately every so often a lapse in that instinctive behaviour results in them being preyed upon.

Women would not need this if harsher penalties were given to those who choose to aggressively seek out and attack woman.

Unfortunately most courts are male driven. The police is male driven. And women have to fight to be heard as with any other time in their lives.

So it's her fault because she had a lapse in some extra sensory power we're supposed to have?

How about (mostly) men get some special extra sensory power and just don't attack women or make them feel like they have to go round in groups etc?

This isn't about women learning how to be safer. It's about (mostly) men learning to control themselves and not attack people. "

I understand where you are coming from but let's not forget that a woman has also been arrested in this case for assisting this man. We do not really know enough about the story at this time.

Yes it is men who commit 100% of these attacks, but it society's responsibility to ensure that people don't grow up to these offenders. It is both men and women's responsibility to raise their children properly to ensure they don't grow up to be these offenders.

One thing we can agree on is it should never be the victim to blame - she should be able to walk wherever she wants at whatever time she wants without being attacked.

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By *eerobCouple  over a year ago

solihull

Bit of man bashing going on here.

How about just stating that its an awful event when anyone is attacked, rather than having a go at the minority of one sex. We are all individuals and responsible for our own actions, good and bad, and should be treated as such and not grouped into a part of society purely because of our sex, or because someone of our sex has done something wrong.

Girls can be just as vile.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Bit of man bashing going on here.

How about just stating that its an awful event when anyone is attacked, rather than having a go at the minority of one sex. We are all individuals and responsible for our own actions, good and bad, and should be treated as such and not grouped into a part of society purely because of our sex, or because someone of our sex has done something wrong.

Girls can be just as vile.

"

How many comparable cases are you aware of where a woman has been the alleged perpetrator?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman  over a year ago

evesham


"Bit of man bashing going on here.

How about just stating that its an awful event when anyone is attacked, rather than having a go at the minority of one sex. We are all individuals and responsible for our own actions, good and bad, and should be treated as such and not grouped into a part of society purely because of our sex, or because someone of our sex has done something wrong.

Girls can be just as vile.

"

Where's the man 'bashing'?

#notallmen

#girlsdoittoo

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It’s an incredibly tragic story and I feel for her and her family. Such a tragic waste.

The sad truth is that whilst it *SHOULD* be safe for anyone to be able to walk anywhere without any fears for their safety, there will always be a sinister element of society that will be out to cause harm. Therefore whilst individually we can all try to do our bit to make a safer environment I don’t think there’s much we can do to eliminate that wildcard of a minority out to cause trouble.

Likewise, I like to think I can take care of myself as a big lad but there are areas I wouldn’t feel safe walking at night, for fear of robbery, violence or more.

It’s a sad state of affairs but sadly it’s the way it is, and will always be.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Bit of man bashing going on here.

How about just stating that its an awful event when anyone is attacked, rather than having a go at the minority of one sex. We are all individuals and responsible for our own actions, good and bad, and should be treated as such and not grouped into a part of society purely because of our sex, or because someone of our sex has done something wrong.

Girls can be just as vile.

Erm sweetie, its not often you see headlines where its a woman that is the mur- derer!

"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Bit of man bashing going on here.

How about just stating that its an awful event when anyone is attacked, rather than having a go at the minority of one sex. We are all individuals and responsible for our own actions, good and bad, and should be treated as such and not grouped into a part of society purely because of our sex, or because someone of our sex has done something wrong.

Girls can be just as vile.

How many comparable cases are you aware of where a woman has been the alleged perpetrator?"

You put it better than me

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Men who care enough to want women to feel safe in public spaces aren't the ones who need to change their behaviour. As well intentioned as this thread is, the futility of it glaringly obvious. Men who attack women won't be reading it and wanting to alter anything.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Any such event is shocking, but sadly not uncommon. The media interest in this is more the arrest of a serving MET Police DPG officer, shortly after which human remains were discovered. It's sad that this overshadows the actual loss of a life.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Any such event is shocking, but sadly not uncommon. The media interest in this is more the arrest of a serving MET Police DPG officer, shortly after which human remains were discovered. It's sad that this overshadows the actual loss of a life."

These type of events are not common! That's the kind of comment that engenders fear.

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By *oan of DArcCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow


"Very shocking news story. Women everywhere now scared about personal safety outdoors when outdoors. Men should be aware and be sensitive

Love to hear from WOMEN about what guys can do to support women and behave outdoors in ways that don’t cause fear "

As others have said, this isn't news to most women. We've all grown up being wary whilst outdoors at night.

I have a daughter and tried to instill in her a sense of freedom whilst being realistic about the risks.

I firmly believe in the vast majority of situations women have little to fear from men, they'll be helped rather than taken advantage of.

It's just tragic on the occasions that doesn't happen the outcome is so traumatic for a woman.

What can men do? It's a good question.

From my own experiences on this website I've been surprised by the number of messages I receive from men who have a sense of entitlement, an expectation I'll have sex with them just because I'm on a swingers site.

This attitude starts young, young men are conditioned to regard the sexual interaction as a conquest, women are simply a challenge which can be overcome. At its extreme it promotes predatory behaviour.

So I guess the solution begins at an early age, in how boys and girls are taught how to interact and value each other.

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By *riar BelisseWoman  over a year ago

Delightful Bliss


"Any such event is shocking, but sadly not uncommon. The media interest in this is more the arrest of a serving MET Police DPG officer, shortly after which human remains were discovered. It's sad that this overshadows the actual loss of a life."

That's down to the glamourising of serial killers on tv, predators can be from any profession and are frequently missed, once the hype is over hopefully people can get on with celebrating her life rather than being fixated on the circumstances of her death

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Any such event is shocking, but sadly not uncommon. The media interest in this is more the arrest of a serving MET Police DPG officer, shortly after which human remains were discovered. It's sad that this overshadows the actual loss of a life.

These type of events are not common! That's the kind of comment that engenders fear.

"

In which case I will go with too common.

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By *oonsterblue74Man  over a year ago

Tyne and Wear

This is dreadfull and all murderers need to be punished and come down hard on. But there are also nice men out there and we shouldn't book mark the entire male race as predators.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman  over a year ago

evesham


"This is dreadfull and all murderers need to be punished and come down hard on. But there are also nice men out there and we shouldn't book mark the entire male race as predators. "

Whrrr has anyone said All men are predators?

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By *emorefridaCouple  over a year ago

La la land


"This is dreadfull and all murderers need to be punished and come down hard on. But there are also nice men out there and we shouldn't book mark the entire male race as predators. "

We don't but we know there's a potential so there is always caution. Many women or those they are closet to will have been subjected to some from of intimidation, unwanted sexual attention, touched up at a bar the list is vast. So yeah we are cautious of men it's what our environment is. Saying not all men isn't helpful, maybe it should be a conversation on how incredibly insane it is that women should feel this unsafe.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple  over a year ago

in Lancashire


"Bit of man bashing going on here.

How about just stating that its an awful event when anyone is attacked, rather than having a go at the minority of one sex. We are all individuals and responsible for our own actions, good and bad, and should be treated as such and not grouped into a part of society purely because of our sex, or because someone of our sex has done something wrong.

Girls can be just as vile.

"

Tbh we as men need to be a much bigger part of the solution to this issue which is pretty much endemic across all societies, cultures globally..

Of course that's not saying that we as men are all the same as this guy in particular or the other guys today who will abuse women, sexually harass women and physically attack and murder women which happens daily..

It's massively more complex than anything we can suggest on here of course..

There are deep rooted issues societally which are all part of the toxic mixture which need addressing and that requires commitments from governments etc ..

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By *moothshaftMan  over a year ago

Coventry

I honestly don't think this was just a random attack.

I think there's more to it. Was she having an affair with him and she was about to blow the lid? Did she uncover something he needed to be kept quiet?

All very speculative at moment.

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By *heblackmacMan  over a year ago

Ladywell, Lewisham.

The lawman ( some of them NOT all of them) suppose to protect and provide security for the members of the public but instead its gone the opposite side of it

Makes me think why majority of the people says this country is going down the drain big time

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By *wisted999Man  over a year ago

North Bucks

We have had generations of men listening to music that refers to women as bitches and watching porn that shows women as just playthings for you to force your cock down their throats.

Chuck in drugs, past abuse psychological problems etc and it’s a toxic mix.

You can see it on here with the entitlement and casual misogyny.

Also whilst statistically men are much more likely to be violently murdered on the streets I don’t go out on my guard thinking am I going to have to fend off horrible entitled behaviour. Glad I don’t have a daughter I would be worried sick.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple  over a year ago

in Lancashire


"I honestly don't think this was just a random attack.

I think there's more to it. Was she having an affair with him and she was about to blow the lid? Did she uncover something he needed to be kept quiet?

All very speculative at moment. "

I just don't get the idea that because she was about to reveal an affair etc that killing her is somehow justified..

I am not saying you think that, your not really saying it to be honest but it's just another one of the stock 'reasons' that certain types of the media trot out..

The 'she was the wanton woman destroying the sanctity of the hallowed anachronism that is marriage' and the family structures are to be protected above all else regardless..

Again not saying that's how you see it..

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"I honestly don't think this was just a random attack.

I think there's more to it. Was she having an affair with him and she was about to blow the lid? Did she uncover something he needed to be kept quiet?

All very speculative at moment. "

I have thought this too.

Either they were an item or she took a lift or they were swinging..... sommat.

Anyway ...... best not to speculate until more 'facts' are revealed.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Let's wait and see how this develops first....pretty sure its not a random thing

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By *a LunaWoman  over a year ago

South Wales

Wasn’t an exposure charge also made against him?

I thought maybe he flashed her, she panicked and ran. He panicked and gave chase.

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By *an4funMan  over a year ago

london


"I honestly don't think this was just a random attack.

I think there's more to it. Was she having an affair with him and she was about to blow the lid? Did she uncover something he needed to be kept quiet?

All very speculative at moment. "

He has also been charged with indecent exposure which isn't connected to the murder charge

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

[Removed by poster at 11/03/21 09:10:36]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/03/21 09:02:31]

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Wasn’t an exposure charge also made against him?

I thought maybe he flashed her, she panicked and ran. He panicked and gave chase.

"

I heard that but couldn't work out how 'they' know that there was indecent exposure....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The sad thing is

- had she been found sooner

- had they not arrested a police officer

This would have been just another news story that came and went for all but her closest

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"[Removed by poster at 11/03/21 09:02:31]"

I agreed with that Bussy.

The level of surprise in some of the posts baffles me.... it's a daily occurrence.

Whether items are reported or not depends on how news worth your story is - your life matters little but we will make all the right noises and even do the noises for the next one

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

For the record I am very senstive to covert misogyny...... I don't go on about it all the time - I choose my time and place but in everyday life I choose to challenge.

Someone on this thread said 'men' when talking on this subject and 'girls' when talking on this subject.

Check yourselves. Language builds thought builds action ...... 'fact' and not a feminazi fact... just fact.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I don’t feel any different in any way shape or form. You want my advice on what men can do to support women?

Don’t be a murderer

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By *emorefridaCouple  over a year ago

La la land

Oh to answer the OP, when I'm walking in the park these are common things that makes me anxious.

If possible when you walking please don't linger closely behind me. If you're going to pass me I'll automatically will slow down to make sure you pass me, please don't slow down also. If you're in a group of males, if I look a bit anxious start chatting to each other. Your silence generally will make me worry more. And if I'm being followed by someone you don't like the look of, just say hello as you walk past. If I'm worried it will give me an excuse to stop walking as I reply. Leaving that person pass me. These aren't hard things but would make my walks especially at dusk feel a bit better.

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By *uliaChrisCouple  over a year ago

westerham


"We have had generations of men listening to music that refers to women as bitches and watching porn that shows women as just playthings for you to force your cock down their throats.

Chuck in drugs, past abuse psychological problems etc and it’s a toxic mix.

You can see it on here with the entitlement and casual misogyny.

Also whilst statistically men are much more likely to be violently murdered on the streets I don’t go out on my guard thinking am I going to have to fend off horrible entitled behaviour. Glad I don’t have a daughter I would be worried sick.

"

Honestly I think the societal influences that you claim, rap music etc are a load of rubbish.

Mankind has like most species always had had the capacity for violence. Look at the murder rate in the East End of London in the 1880s, fifty times worse than it is now.

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By *viatrixWoman  over a year ago

Redhill

I am gobsmacked at some of the comments on this thread... truly gobsmacked. I’ve been trying to think how to put in words how appalled I feel about people thinking this “happens all the time”... normalising it.

How, somehow it isn’t that shocking because maybe “they had an affair” “were an item” “took a lift” or “it wasn’t random”. So does that make it ok? Does that justify a potential murder?

I read this and then read the “save lives” COVID droning on for over a year and I don’t know whether to feel sick or laugh. The contradiction is sickeningly comical. That’s it.

Wow. Should go back to my coffee...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It's a real sad case.

My daughter is 9 and it just terrifies me for when she is a older woman.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's pretty simple really, don't be a predator /murderer etc.

Oh and step in if you see a woman being harassed, followed etc. At least, speaking for myself, that's what I'd want. "

Step in if you see anyone bei g harrased man or woman. I personelly dont walk along secluded areas if there are not others about or if people look dodgy hanging about, they could be innocent but i dont take any chances with personel safety

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By *icolerobbieCouple  over a year ago

walsall

And here we go again. A tragic loss of life turned into a tool to spout more bile.

It’s becoming tiresome and these forums are becoming quite toxic.

I’m out... peace.

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By *wisted999Man  over a year ago

North Bucks


"We have had generations of men listening to music that refers to women as bitches and watching porn that shows women as just playthings for you to force your cock down their throats.

Chuck in drugs, past abuse psychological problems etc and it’s a toxic mix.

You can see it on here with the entitlement and casual misogyny.

Also whilst statistically men are much more likely to be violently murdered on the streets I don’t go out on my guard thinking am I going to have to fend off horrible entitled behaviour. Glad I don’t have a daughter I would be worried sick.

Honestly I think the societal influences that you claim, rap music etc are a load of rubbish.

Mankind has like most species always had had the capacity for violence. Look at the murder rate in the East End of London in the 1880s, fifty times worse than it is now.

"

And why do you think the murder rate was worse then?

It’s almost like they were moulded by society at that time. Bit like what’s happening now..............

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By *rder66Man  over a year ago

Tatooine


"It’s an incredibly tragic story and I feel for her and her family. Such a tragic waste.

The sad truth is that whilst it *SHOULD* be safe for anyone to be able to walk anywhere without any fears for their safety, there will always be a sinister element of society that will be out to cause harm. Therefore whilst individually we can all try to do our bit to make a safer environment I don’t think there’s much we can do to eliminate that wildcard of a minority out to cause trouble.

Likewise, I like to think I can take care of myself as a big lad but there are areas I wouldn’t feel safe walking at night, for fear of robbery, violence or more.

It’s a sad state of affairs but sadly it’s the way it is, and will always be. "

Well said.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"I am gobsmacked at some of the comments on this thread... truly gobsmacked. I’ve been trying to think how to put in words how appalled I feel about people thinking this “happens all the time”... normalising it.

How, somehow it isn’t that shocking because maybe “they had an affair” “were an item” “took a lift” or “it wasn’t random”. So does that make it ok? Does that justify a potential murder?

I read this and then read the “save lives” COVID droning on for over a year and I don’t know whether to feel sick or laugh. The contradiction is sickeningly comical. That’s it.

Wow. Should go back to my coffee... "

I'll answer as you have quoted what I said in your second paragraph...

Like most people who go 'Oh Wow, Just Wow' you have Wowed it up yourself by accusing me of saying 'it's okay'. I never. I never alluded to it being 'okay.... you did that.

Don't go back to your coffee.

Read what was said again.

You also put that slant on the people who said this isn't an isolated incident.

They stated a fact. You put something on them they haven't said.

The murder of women is not an isolated incident and acknowledging that isn't saying that it makes it okay.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"It's a real sad case.

My daughter is 9 and it just terrifies me for when she is a older woman."

Don't be terrified, you'll pass that fear on to her.

The majority of men are not abusers.

The majority of women are safe.

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By *uliaChrisCouple  over a year ago

westerham


"We have had generations of men listening to music that refers to women as bitches and watching porn that shows women as just playthings for you to force your cock down their throats.

Chuck in drugs, past abuse psychological problems etc and it’s a toxic mix.

You can see it on here with the entitlement and casual misogyny.

Also whilst statistically men are much more likely to be violently murdered on the streets I don’t go out on my guard thinking am I going to have to fend off horrible entitled behaviour. Glad I don’t have a daughter I would be worried sick.

Honestly I think the societal influences that you claim, rap music etc are a load of rubbish.

Mankind has like most species always had had the capacity for violence. Look at the murder rate in the East End of London in the 1880s, fifty times worse than it is now.

And why do you think the murder rate was worse then?

It’s almost like they were moulded by society at that time. Bit like what’s happening now.............."

Moulded by rap music? A white middle aged policeman? Ridiculous.

I'm saying this stuff happens occasionally, it's terrible, it's usually stupid inadequate people doing stupid inadequate things, and there won't be a simple trite explanation that makes any sense to her poor family.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Is he white ? Is he middle aged ?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

All I know is that a serving policeman has been arrested and as yet not charged.

Is there more info now?

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By *wisted999Man  over a year ago

North Bucks


"We have had generations of men listening to music that refers to women as bitches and watching porn that shows women as just playthings for you to force your cock down their throats.

Chuck in drugs, past abuse psychological problems etc and it’s a toxic mix.

You can see it on here with the entitlement and casual misogyny.

Also whilst statistically men are much more likely to be violently murdered on the streets I don’t go out on my guard thinking am I going to have to fend off horrible entitled behaviour. Glad I don’t have a daughter I would be worried sick.

Honestly I think the societal influences that you claim, rap music etc are a load of rubbish.

Mankind has like most species always had had the capacity for violence. Look at the murder rate in the East End of London in the 1880s, fifty times worse than it is now.

And why do you think the murder rate was worse then?

It’s almost like they were moulded by society at that time. Bit like what’s happening now..............

Moulded by rap music? A white middle aged policeman? Ridiculous.

I'm saying this stuff happens occasionally, it's terrible, it's usually stupid inadequate people doing stupid inadequate things, and there won't be a simple trite explanation that makes any sense to her poor family. "

The point I’m trying to make is that for the last couple of generations is that when you have had music that devalues women and toxic porn with mainstream titles such as “rip her up”. There is a clear and proven link especially when someone is “inadequate”

See Jane Longhurst Et al.

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman  over a year ago
Forum Mod

My Own Little World


"Is he white ? Is he middle aged ? "

In his 40s I believe.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's pretty simple really, don't be a predator /murderer etc.

Oh and step in if you see a woman being harassed, followed etc. At least, speaking for myself, that's what I'd want. "

This^

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By *ixey and CopperCouple  over a year ago

Exeter


"Very shocking news story. Women everywhere now scared about personal safety outdoors when outdoors. Men should be aware and be sensitive

Love to hear from WOMEN about what guys can do to support women and behave outdoors in ways that don’t cause fear "

Nobody knows what's happened, a man and woman have been arrested

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By *uliaChrisCouple  over a year ago

westerham


"Is he white ? Is he middle aged ? "

He was identified and named last night by a few newspapers, many have chosen not to carry on identifying him this morning, don't know why. I recall he is 48 years old.

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By *hatYorkLadMan  over a year ago

York

I'm sure her family must appreciate that their missing daughter has finally made the headlines after the story and appeals to find her have been shoved to the bottom of most news sites to prioritise Meghan Markles interview since she disappeared

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By *oan of DArcCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow


"

The point I’m trying to make is that for the last couple of generations is that when you have had music that devalues women and toxic porn with mainstream titles such as “rip her up”. There is a clear and proven link especially when someone is “inadequate”

See Jane Longhurst Et al.

"

The objectification of women started long before misogynistic rap music and the proliferation of pornography.

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By *wisted999Man  over a year ago

North Bucks


"

The point I’m trying to make is that for the last couple of generations is that when you have had music that devalues women and toxic porn with mainstream titles such as “rip her up”. There is a clear and proven link especially when someone is “inadequate”

See Jane Longhurst Et al.

The objectification of women started long before misogynistic rap music and the proliferation of pornography."

I agree. But it’s what’s moulded the current generations. And we have never had better access to porn in the decades.

(I didn’t mention rap specifically as it’s been cross genre).

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By *uliaChrisCouple  over a year ago

westerham


"We have had generations of men listening to music that refers to women as bitches and watching porn that shows women as just playthings for you to force your cock down their throats.

Chuck in drugs, past abuse psychological problems etc and it’s a toxic mix.

You can see it on here with the entitlement and casual misogyny.

Also whilst statistically men are much more likely to be violently murdered on the streets I don’t go out on my guard thinking am I going to have to fend off horrible entitled behaviour. Glad I don’t have a daughter I would be worried sick.

Honestly I think the societal influences that you claim, rap music etc are a load of rubbish.

Mankind has like most species always had had the capacity for violence. Look at the murder rate in the East End of London in the 1880s, fifty times worse than it is now.

And why do you think the murder rate was worse then?

It’s almost like they were moulded by society at that time. Bit like what’s happening now..............

Moulded by rap music? A white middle aged policeman? Ridiculous.

I'm saying this stuff happens occasionally, it's terrible, it's usually stupid inadequate people doing stupid inadequate things, and there won't be a simple trite explanation that makes any sense to her poor family.

The point I’m trying to make is that for the last couple of generations is that when you have had music that devalues women and toxic porn with mainstream titles such as “rip her up”. There is a clear and proven link especially when someone is “inadequate”

See Jane Longhurst Et al.

"

Re Jane Longhurst, from Wikipedia:

"Coutts' pattern of erotic asphyxia had already begun by the early 1990s, five years before he encountered extreme pornography depicting such activity (1996). In addition, the six or seven years (1996–2003) that elapsed between encountering the material and causing the death of Longhurst creates doubt to the claim that the material is a potent cause of murderous intent."

I'm just saying murder never "makes sense" and it's daft to blame bad music or whatever for the actions of degenerates.

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By *wisted999Man  over a year ago

North Bucks


"We have had generations of men listening to music that refers to women as bitches and watching porn that shows women as just playthings for you to force your cock down their throats.

Chuck in drugs, past abuse psychological problems etc and it’s a toxic mix.

You can see it on here with the entitlement and casual misogyny.

Also whilst statistically men are much more likely to be violently murdered on the streets I don’t go out on my guard thinking am I going to have to fend off horrible entitled behaviour. Glad I don’t have a daughter I would be worried sick.

Honestly I think the societal influences that you claim, rap music etc are a load of rubbish.

Mankind has like most species always had had the capacity for violence. Look at the murder rate in the East End of London in the 1880s, fifty times worse than it is now.

And why do you think the murder rate was worse then?

It’s almost like they were moulded by society at that time. Bit like what’s happening now..............

Moulded by rap music? A white middle aged policeman? Ridiculous.

I'm saying this stuff happens occasionally, it's terrible, it's usually stupid inadequate people doing stupid inadequate things, and there won't be a simple trite explanation that makes any sense to her poor family.

The point I’m trying to make is that for the last couple of generations is that when you have had music that devalues women and toxic porn with mainstream titles such as “rip her up”. There is a clear and proven link especially when someone is “inadequate”

See Jane Longhurst Et al.

Re Jane Longhurst, from Wikipedia:

"Coutts' pattern of erotic asphyxia had already begun by the early 1990s, five years before he encountered extreme pornography depicting such activity (1996). In addition, the six or seven years (1996–2003) that elapsed between encountering the material and causing the death of Longhurst creates doubt to the claim that the material is a potent cause of murderous intent."

I'm just saying murder never "makes sense" and it's daft to blame bad music or whatever for the actions of degenerates. "

I agree murder never makes sense. But there are always contributing factors and unhealthy attitudes towards women are a proven one. It’s proven that these things can be a catalyst. Just like violent video games.

It seems you are trying very hard to disprove that link so there is not much I can say to sway your mind.

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By *oan of DArcCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow


"

I agree. But it’s what’s moulded the current generations. And we have never had better access to porn in the decades.

(I didn’t mention rap specifically as it’s been cross genre). "

The current generation are also moulded by long standing societal 'norms', which enable my misogynistic behaviours to proliferate in the first place. Eradicating porn or sexist media is only part of the solution, in my opinion we need to re-map completely the influences our children are exposed to and how they affect their developing behaviours.

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By *uliaChrisCouple  over a year ago

westerham

Daily Mail has still got his name and pic up as of now for those who are interested

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Daily Mail has still got his name and pic up as of now for those who are interested "

Cheers

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

I agree. But it’s what’s moulded the current generations. And we have never had better access to porn in the decades.

(I didn’t mention rap specifically as it’s been cross genre).

The current generation are also moulded by long standing societal 'norms', which enable my misogynistic behaviours to proliferate in the first place. Eradicating porn or sexist media is only part of the solution, in my opinion we need to re-map completely the influences our children are exposed to and how they affect their developing behaviours."

Absolutely!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

If he is guilty, the only version of events will be his......

We will never know what happened.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Going on what I have seen online he is married with two kids she also phoned her boyfriend saying she was on her way home was she pulled into a car at random or did they know each other and whats the story with the other lady in custody for assisting it will be interesting to see how it unfolds either way it's awful

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Going on what I have seen online he is married with two kids she also phoned her boyfriend saying she was on her way home was she pulled into a car at random or did they know each other and whats the story with the other lady in custody for assisting it will be interesting to see how it unfolds either way it's awful "

It's been called 'kindnap' so they believe she's gone against her will.

He is now the only witness.

He will fabricate a tale which makes him seem less predatory i'm sure.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West

Facts gleaned from online news:

Suspect is Wayne Couzens, a 48yo diplomatic protection officer from Kent (Deal). He is married to a Ukrainian lady he met online and they have children. Police have so far found no connection between the missing lady and Couzens (i.e it's unlikely they knew each other before). Police are pursuing the idea he used his Police ID when off duty, plus the current Covid restrictions, as a pretext to stop the missing lady and engage in conversation etc.

There's a line of enquiry that his car was picked up on a bus dash-cam and that it might be possible to identify if any passengers were also in the car (e.g the missing lady).

That's about it for now.

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By *octor RobMan  over a year ago

urmston


"I honestly don't think this was just a random attack.

I think there's more to it. Was she having an affair with him and she was about to blow the lid? Did she uncover something he needed to be kept quiet?

All very speculative at moment. "

Doubt it mate his misses has been arrested ( not for the murder but still involved) I think more will come out regards the copper more attacks etc.. just my opinion. RIP Sarah

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/03/21 10:33:49]

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By *ionelhutzMan  over a year ago

liverpool

Horrible story

Heart goes out to the family

What is it ,in people where they are capable of doing such horrible things to another person?

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By *octor RobMan  over a year ago

urmston


"Wasn’t an exposure charge also made against him?

I thought maybe he flashed her, she panicked and ran. He panicked and gave chase.

"

He did but it’s nothing to do with the murder from what I have read , been wrong before though

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Facts gleaned from online news:

Suspect is Wayne Couzens, a 48yo diplomatic protection officer from Kent (Deal). He is married to a Ukrainian lady he met online and they have children. Police have so far found no connection between the missing lady and Couzens (i.e it's unlikely they knew each other before). Police are pursuing the idea he used his Police ID when off duty, plus the current Covid restrictions, as a pretext to stop the missing lady and engage in conversation etc.

There's a line of enquiry that his car was picked up on a bus dash-cam and that it might be possible to identify if any passengers were also in the car (e.g the missing lady).

That's about it for now."

I read that. Thanks.

It's possible that he has lied to his wife too.

She's been arrested for assisting an offender I think. Maybe she said he was home all night or similar.

Police surveillance ....... a camera on a bus...... amazing, they leave nothing unturned.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Horrible story

Heart goes out to the family

What is it ,in people where they are capable of doing such horrible things to another person?"

Fear.....

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

amongst other things....

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By *uliaChrisCouple  over a year ago

westerham


"Facts gleaned from online news:

Suspect is Wayne Couzens, a 48yo diplomatic protection officer from Kent (Deal). He is married to a Ukrainian lady he met online and they have children. Police have so far found no connection between the missing lady and Couzens (i.e it's unlikely they knew each other before). Police are pursuing the idea he used his Police ID when off duty, plus the current Covid restrictions, as a pretext to stop the missing lady and engage in conversation etc.

There's a line of enquiry that his car was picked up on a bus dash-cam and that it might be possible to identify if any passengers were also in the car (e.g the missing lady).

That's about it for now.

I read that. Thanks.

It's possible that he has lied to his wife too.

She's been arrested for assisting an offender I think. Maybe she said he was home all night or similar.

Police surveillance ....... a camera on a bus...... amazing, they leave nothing unturned. "

It's pretty impressive the police got that and some doorbell camera footage? Not their usual standard of performance with lower level crime let's be honest.

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By *sm265Woman  over a year ago

Shangri-la

What struck me with this is that I hadn't even heard of this woman until today, didn't know she was missing, now it has become headline news worthy because the person arrested is a serving police officer.

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By *oan of DArcCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow


"What struck me with this is that I hadn't even heard of this woman until today, didn't know she was missing, now it has become headline news worthy because the person arrested is a serving police officer. "

To be fair it's been quite a high profile story since the weekend.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What struck me with this is that I hadn't even heard of this woman until today, didn't know she was missing, now it has become headline news worthy because the person arrested is a serving police officer. "

She's been in the news for a week.

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By *octor RobMan  over a year ago

urmston


"What struck me with this is that I hadn't even heard of this woman until today, didn't know she was missing, now it has become headline news worthy because the person arrested is a serving police officer. "

Really , fair enough

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What struck me with this is that I hadn't even heard of this woman until today, didn't know she was missing, now it has become headline news worthy because the person arrested is a serving police officer. "

It was in the news before a police officer was arrested.

It was so high profile because of the way she disappeared.

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By *melia DominaTV/TS  over a year ago

Edinburgh (She/Her)


"Every womam had eyes in the back of her head every single day.

Woman are brought up instinctively from an early age to ensure their own safety. Walking in groups at night, keep to busy well lit roads, where is the escape route etc.

Unfortunately every so often a lapse in that instinctive behaviour results in them being preyed upon.

Women would not need this if harsher penalties were given to those who choose to aggressively seek out and attack woman.

Unfortunately most courts are male driven. The police is male driven. And women have to fight to be heard as with any other time in their lives.

So it's her fault because she had a lapse in some extra sensory power we're supposed to have?

How about (mostly) men get some special extra sensory power and just don't attack women or make them feel like they have to go round in groups etc?

This isn't about women learning how to be safer. It's about (mostly) men learning to control themselves and not attack people. "

You get me wrong and I totally agree with you.

Woman should not have to have eyes in the back of there heads! Woman should be able to wear what they want, go were they want without intimidation or fear...

Everyone should accept everyone else for who they arw regardless of gender, sexuality, colour whatever.

As I said Woman are "Preyed upon", letched at, oogled, touched, blocked, leared at every single day!!

The majority is male driven particularly the aggressive side. and we can't escape that.

There is an actual women hating movement!!! A cult designed to hate Woman!!! It's completely bonkers and utterly diabolical.

All because of the entitlement men think they have over woman......

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By *ophieslutTV/TS  over a year ago

Central

Decent men will continue to adjust their behaviour, so that women can be supported to feel safer. It's not for women to have to do anything different, but all men can stay alert to what they can do to help to create an environment that is perceived as less threatening.

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By *eavenscentitCouple  over a year ago

barnstaple


"Very shocking news story. Women everywhere now scared about personal safety outdoors when outdoors. Men should be aware and be sensitive

Love to hear from WOMEN about what guys can do to support women and behave outdoors in ways that don’t cause fear

I’d love to know what you think men need to change to support women outside of not being a murderer?"

Call out your friends for disrespecting women. Be mindful when approaching a lone female that there is a power imbalance.

Women always have to think "am I safe". We should be able to be safe anytime.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Is he white ? Is he middle aged ?

He was identified and named last night by a few newspapers, many have chosen not to carry on identifying him this morning, don't know why. I recall he is 48 years old. "

He's a suspect. It hasn't been to court yet to prove him guilty.

But.. the papers run our justice system, not the courts.

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By *an4funMan  over a year ago

london


"Every womam had eyes in the back of her head every single day.

Woman are brought up instinctively from an early age to ensure their own safety. Walking in groups at night, keep to busy well lit roads, where is the escape route etc.

Unfortunately every so often a lapse in that instinctive behaviour results in them being preyed upon.

Women would not need this if harsher penalties were given to those who choose to aggressively seek out and attack woman.

Unfortunately most courts are male driven. The police is male driven. And women have to fight to be heard as with any other time in their lives.

So it's her fault because she had a lapse in some extra sensory power we're supposed to have?

How about (mostly) men get some special extra sensory power and just don't attack women or make them feel like they have to go round in groups etc?

This isn't about women learning how to be safer. It's about (mostly) men learning to control themselves and not attack people.

You get me wrong and I totally agree with you.

Woman should not have to have eyes in the back of there heads! Woman should be able to wear what they want, go were they want without intimidation or fear...

Everyone should accept everyone else for who they arw regardless of gender, sexuality, colour whatever.

As I said Woman are "Preyed upon", letched at, oogled, touched, blocked, leared at every single day!!

The majority is male driven particularly the aggressive side. and we can't escape that.

There is an actual women hating movement!!! A cult designed to hate Woman!!! It's completely bonkers and utterly diabolical.

All because of the entitlement men think they have over woman......

"

I watched a documentary on that movement. I think it was on BBC iPlayer. Crazy stuff

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I started to read all the comments, but they began to go off topic. So if any part of my post has already been covered, I apologise.

I have a teenage daughter. I try to ensure she's streetwise and aware of what's going on around her. Had she been born male, I would do the same. Unfortunately there are will always be an element of society who wish to take advantage of others.

In addition to that. My father died when I was very young, so a family friend would often give me fatherly advice (thanks Joe). He taught me a very simple piece of etiquette... If I am walking behind a lone female (or young child, elderly person, etc), I should cough to ensure they are aware of my presence. If I'm close enough, I should say "excuse me I'm just passing", then position myself in front of them at a distance which they will not feel threatened.

If approaching somebody from the opposite direction, stand to the side, and remove headwear and scarves, etc. As they approach, look directly at them, smile, say hello, then continue walking when they pass.

As a burly, tall guy, I can easily intimate somebody unintentionally. I should do what I need to try and reduced that intimation.

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