FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Can't be bothered...
Can't be bothered...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
So it's been over a year since I've had sex now (thanks covid!).
With the easing up of lockdown coming over the next few months I should be feeling excited about potentially getting out there again but I just...don't.
Even though I'm feeling horny and still masturbating a lot, the thought of actually having sex with someone again just makes me feel a bit apathetic. Especially talking to people; once they start mentioning sex and how excited they are to meet when we're finally allowed I just get bored. I feel kinda bad as I don't want to waste anyone's time but I can't help feeling like I just can't be bothered...
Is this normal??  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah I think so. I’m a bit like that. I keep thinking am I really that bothered? Then some days I really am but I want to there and then but obviously can’t! I don’t really know how I feel at the moment as reflected in my profile text! Lol x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The hidden cost of the pandemic - broken spirits and a populace suppressed.
Hopefully you get the mojo back soon, the evenings are getting lighter and the days will soon be warmer, hopefully that will help the sap to rise a bit!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Back to all that hair removal 
Oh fuck that I'm becoming a nun
I'm right behind you. No bills, free meals, opt of of life stress.....  "
Tempting. Are nuns allowed wands? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Probably very normal. I'm not bothered about sex in the slightest at the moment, I'm not even wanking. I'm more looking forward to just hanging out with someone, cuddling and having a laugh. I'm pretty sure doing that will ignite the old mojo again. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yeah I think so. I’m a bit like that. I keep thinking am I really that bothered? Then some days I really am but I want to there and then but obviously can’t! I don’t really know how I feel at the moment as reflected in my profile text! Lol x "
Yeah I'm the exact same. Some days I think "oh god I can't wait to have sex again" but then when I find someone who's actually interested I suddenly think "nah, I can't actually be arsed".
If it does ever happen again I'm gonna be a shit lay, that's for sure  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Probably very normal. I'm not bothered about sex in the slightest at the moment, I'm not even wanking. I'm more looking forward to just hanging out with someone, cuddling and having a laugh. I'm pretty sure doing that will ignite the old mojo again."
Pretty much this for me too |
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"Back to all that hair removal
Oh fuck that I'm becoming a nun
I'm right behind you. No bills, free meals, opt of of life stress.....
Tempting. Are nuns allowed wands? "
Of course, they are muscle massagers aren't they ? Perfect for drug free alternative to a frozen shoulder  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Back to all that hair removal
Oh fuck that I'm becoming a nun
I'm right behind you. No bills, free meals, opt of of life stress.....
Tempting. Are nuns allowed wands? "
Nuns have no need of magic. They're already pure. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Back to all that hair removal
Oh fuck that I'm becoming a nun
I'm right behind you. No bills, free meals, opt of of life stress.....
Tempting. Are nuns allowed wands?
Of course, they are muscle massagers aren't they ? Perfect for drug free alternative to a frozen shoulder "
Yes! Of course!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Probably very normal. I'm not bothered about sex in the slightest at the moment, I'm not even wanking. I'm more looking forward to just hanging out with someone, cuddling and having a laugh. I'm pretty sure doing that will ignite the old mojo again."
Yesssss I miss cuddling and being touched SO much more than actually having sex!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So it's been over a year since I've had sex now (thanks covid!).
With the easing up of lockdown coming over the next few months I should be feeling excited about potentially getting out there again but I just...don't.
Even though I'm feeling horny and still masturbating a lot, the thought of actually having sex with someone again just makes me feel a bit apathetic. Especially talking to people; once they start mentioning sex and how excited they are to meet when we're finally allowed I just get bored. I feel kinda bad as I don't want to waste anyone's time but I can't help feeling like I just can't be bothered...
Is this normal?? "
I think most of us are simply numb atm, due to the duration of no social interaction. Its an appetite for life sucker. |
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"Back to all that hair removal
Fuck. My. Life.
Fuck it..find someone who appreciates the au naturale look "
Like at the point of removing clothes, a man would say, put your clothes back on love you haven't shaved |
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"Back to all that hair removal
Fuck. My. Life.
Fuck it..find someone who appreciates the au naturale look
Like at the point of removing clothes, a man would say, put your clothes back on love you haven't shaved "
I can just see it now 
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So it's been over a year since I've had sex now (thanks covid!).
With the easing up of lockdown coming over the next few months I should be feeling excited about potentially getting out there again but I just...don't.
Even though I'm feeling horny and still masturbating a lot, the thought of actually having sex with someone again just makes me feel a bit apathetic. Especially talking to people; once they start mentioning sex and how excited they are to meet when we're finally allowed I just get bored. I feel kinda bad as I don't want to waste anyone's time but I can't help feeling like I just can't be bothered...
Is this normal??
I think most of us are simply numb atm, due to the duration of no social interaction. Its an appetite for life sucker."
"numb" is definitely the word for it!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I feel the same.
I’m craving touch, just want cuddles and closeness.
But the thought of sex... no I really am not feeling it.
Like someone else said, I feel numb. |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"So it's been over a year since I've had sex now (thanks covid!).
With the easing up of lockdown coming over the next few months I should be feeling excited about potentially getting out there again but I just...don't.
Even though I'm feeling horny and still masturbating a lot, the thought of actually having sex with someone again just makes me feel a bit apathetic. Especially talking to people; once they start mentioning sex and how excited they are to meet when we're finally allowed I just get bored. I feel kinda bad as I don't want to waste anyone's time but I can't help feeling like I just can't be bothered...
Is this normal?? "
You have spent a year reconditioning yourself. In the same way that people who give up other activities that feed the reward/pleasure centres of the brain recondition themselves.
You still have sexual urges, which are currently satisfied by yourself. The thought of going back to pre lockdown activities doesn’t hit the spot because you have forgotten what the good bits are like.
It is likely that after a few months of meeting people you will return to how you were pre lockdown.
|
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"Back to all that hair removal
Fuck. My. Life.
Fuck it..find someone who appreciates the au naturale look
Where is he and do you have his number?? "
I don't, but I'm sure they must exist.
At least I hope they do! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I saw a tv program where people said hi and did the double cheek kiss thing and I felt anxiety to see people get too close.....
The idea of hooking up with strangers seems somehow a bit scary now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Back to all that hair removal
Fuck. My. Life.
Fuck it..find someone who appreciates the au naturale look
Where is he and do you have his number??
I don't, but I'm sure they must exist.
At least I hope they do!"
We do |
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"I saw a tv program where people said hi and did the double cheek kiss thing and I felt anxiety to see people get too close.....
The idea of hooking up with strangers seems somehow a bit scary now. "
But we aren't strangers or scary (well most of us) |
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Seems like a humongous effort and unwanted pressure.
A lot of us have had a change in values over the past year. We've realised what's important and what's not to us.
Plus, you've been on here throughout and fuck me you MUST have witnessed some right cuntish attitudes and incredible selfishness. That kinda shit does knock your confidence in people, and makes the thought of "people" a thought that makes yer brain heavy and in need of a nap. |
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"Back to all that hair removal
Fuck. My. Life.
Fuck it..find someone who appreciates the au naturale look
Where is he and do you have his number??
I don't, but I'm sure they must exist.
At least I hope they do!
We do "
That is good to kmow Wonko x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Back to all that hair removal
Fuck. My. Life.
Fuck it..find someone who appreciates the au naturale look
Where is he and do you have his number??
I don't, but I'm sure they must exist.
At least I hope they do!
We do
That is good to kmow Wonko x"
Your welcome |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
"Normal, I don’t know. But you’re certainly not the only one. I feel that too. And know I’m not the only one."
I can relate also, I'm looking forward to be able to go to places and see family and friends and chat, but I don't feel too bothered about intimacy at the moment.
Maybe that will change as things open out but I don't know. |
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"Seems like a humongous effort and unwanted pressure.
A lot of us have had a change in values over the past year. We've realised what's important and what's not to us.
Plus, you've been on here throughout and fuck me you MUST have witnessed some right cuntish attitudes and incredible selfishness. That kinda shit does knock your confidence in people, and makes the thought of "people" a thought that makes yer brain heavy and in need of a nap."
Yup. |
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"I saw a tv program where people said hi and did the double cheek kiss thing and I felt anxiety to see people get too close.....
The idea of hooking up with strangers seems somehow a bit scary now. "
It does. I think too we already knew how dangerous it could be pre-covid. You never *really* knew if you were gonna meet someone who'd snapped or was looking for a victim. I think a lot of us have heard of friends and maybe family breaking the rules, and these are people we trust. If people we've trusted can let us and themselves down and turn into a possible danger, then strangers are a mega threat.
I think that's what my brain has deduced anyway |
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"I saw a tv program where people said hi and did the double cheek kiss thing and I felt anxiety to see people get too close.....
The idea of hooking up with strangers seems somehow a bit scary now.
It does. I think too we already knew how dangerous it could be pre-covid. You never *really* knew if you were gonna meet someone who'd snapped or was looking for a victim. I think a lot of us have heard of friends and maybe family breaking the rules, and these are people we trust. If people we've trusted can let us and themselves down and turn into a possible danger, then strangers are a mega threat.
I think that's what my brain has deduced anyway "
I'm trying not to dwell too much. My brain can't take it. This has been enough already |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think this past year has been a bit of a reset for some people, even if not consciously. I think for a lot, recreational sex seems a bit empty now and as some have said above, it’s touch and closeness that people are craving instead.
I can’t imagine anything worse than having sex with a stranger at the moment. And I’m not sure I’ll ever go back to a party/club. Maybe when things go back to normal I’ll feel differently. But it all seems so unimportant at moment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I saw a tv program where people said hi and did the double cheek kiss thing and I felt anxiety to see people get too close.....
The idea of hooking up with strangers seems somehow a bit scary now.
It does. I think too we already knew how dangerous it could be pre-covid. You never *really* knew if you were gonna meet someone who'd snapped or was looking for a victim. I think a lot of us have heard of friends and maybe family breaking the rules, and these are people we trust. If people we've trusted can let us and themselves down and turn into a possible danger, then strangers are a mega threat.
I think that's what my brain has deduced anyway
I'm trying not to dwell too much. My brain can't take it. This has been enough already "
I think I’m turning agoraphobic |
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"I saw a tv program where people said hi and did the double cheek kiss thing and I felt anxiety to see people get too close.....
The idea of hooking up with strangers seems somehow a bit scary now.
It does. I think too we already knew how dangerous it could be pre-covid. You never *really* knew if you were gonna meet someone who'd snapped or was looking for a victim. I think a lot of us have heard of friends and maybe family breaking the rules, and these are people we trust. If people we've trusted can let us and themselves down and turn into a possible danger, then strangers are a mega threat.
I think that's what my brain has deduced anyway
I'm trying not to dwell too much. My brain can't take it. This has been enough already
I think I’m turning agoraphobic"
I'm actively fighting that very thing at the moment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I saw a tv program where people said hi and did the double cheek kiss thing and I felt anxiety to see people get too close.....
The idea of hooking up with strangers seems somehow a bit scary now.
It does. I think too we already knew how dangerous it could be pre-covid. You never *really* knew if you were gonna meet someone who'd snapped or was looking for a victim. I think a lot of us have heard of friends and maybe family breaking the rules, and these are people we trust. If people we've trusted can let us and themselves down and turn into a possible danger, then strangers are a mega threat.
I think that's what my brain has deduced anyway
I'm trying not to dwell too much. My brain can't take it. This has been enough already
I think I’m turning agoraphobic"
I said this to someone the other day. I think I am! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I saw a tv program where people said hi and did the double cheek kiss thing and I felt anxiety to see people get too close.....
The idea of hooking up with strangers seems somehow a bit scary now.
It does. I think too we already knew how dangerous it could be pre-covid. You never *really* knew if you were gonna meet someone who'd snapped or was looking for a victim. I think a lot of us have heard of friends and maybe family breaking the rules, and these are people we trust. If people we've trusted can let us and themselves down and turn into a possible danger, then strangers are a mega threat.
I think that's what my brain has deduced anyway
I'm trying not to dwell too much. My brain can't take it. This has been enough already
I think I’m turning agoraphobic
I'm actively fighting that very thing at the moment."
Hugs. I wasn’t joking btw. Xx |
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"I saw a tv program where people said hi and did the double cheek kiss thing and I felt anxiety to see people get too close.....
The idea of hooking up with strangers seems somehow a bit scary now.
It does. I think too we already knew how dangerous it could be pre-covid. You never *really* knew if you were gonna meet someone who'd snapped or was looking for a victim. I think a lot of us have heard of friends and maybe family breaking the rules, and these are people we trust. If people we've trusted can let us and themselves down and turn into a possible danger, then strangers are a mega threat.
I think that's what my brain has deduced anyway
I'm trying not to dwell too much. My brain can't take it. This has been enough already
I think I’m turning agoraphobic
I'm actively fighting that very thing at the moment.
Hugs. I wasn’t joking btw. Xx"
Me neither. And I didn't think you were.
Hugs back. We'll get through. Bit at a time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I saw a tv program where people said hi and did the double cheek kiss thing and I felt anxiety to see people get too close.....
The idea of hooking up with strangers seems somehow a bit scary now.
It does. I think too we already knew how dangerous it could be pre-covid. You never *really* knew if you were gonna meet someone who'd snapped or was looking for a victim. I think a lot of us have heard of friends and maybe family breaking the rules, and these are people we trust. If people we've trusted can let us and themselves down and turn into a possible danger, then strangers are a mega threat.
I think that's what my brain has deduced anyway
I'm trying not to dwell too much. My brain can't take it. This has been enough already
I think I’m turning agoraphobic
I'm actively fighting that very thing at the moment.
Hugs. I wasn’t joking btw. Xx
Me neither. And I didn't think you were.
Hugs back. We'll get through. Bit at a time."
I’m in no rush to go out now. Barely left the house in a year. |
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"I saw a tv program where people said hi and did the double cheek kiss thing and I felt anxiety to see people get too close.....
The idea of hooking up with strangers seems somehow a bit scary now.
It does. I think too we already knew how dangerous it could be pre-covid. You never *really* knew if you were gonna meet someone who'd snapped or was looking for a victim. I think a lot of us have heard of friends and maybe family breaking the rules, and these are people we trust. If people we've trusted can let us and themselves down and turn into a possible danger, then strangers are a mega threat.
I think that's what my brain has deduced anyway
I'm trying not to dwell too much. My brain can't take it. This has been enough already
I think I’m turning agoraphobic
I'm actively fighting that very thing at the moment.
Hugs. I wasn’t joking btw. Xx
Me neither. And I didn't think you were.
Hugs back. We'll get through. Bit at a time.
I’m in no rush to go out now. Barely left the house in a year. "
I hear you.
I'm trying to nip this agoraphobia in the bud before it becomes a proper thing. I don't need another thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I saw a tv program where people said hi and did the double cheek kiss thing and I felt anxiety to see people get too close.....
The idea of hooking up with strangers seems somehow a bit scary now.
It does. I think too we already knew how dangerous it could be pre-covid. You never *really* knew if you were gonna meet someone who'd snapped or was looking for a victim. I think a lot of us have heard of friends and maybe family breaking the rules, and these are people we trust. If people we've trusted can let us and themselves down and turn into a possible danger, then strangers are a mega threat.
I think that's what my brain has deduced anyway
I'm trying not to dwell too much. My brain can't take it. This has been enough already
I think I’m turning agoraphobic
I'm actively fighting that very thing at the moment.
Hugs. I wasn’t joking btw. Xx
Me neither. And I didn't think you were.
Hugs back. We'll get through. Bit at a time.
I’m in no rush to go out now. Barely left the house in a year.
I hear you.
I'm trying to nip this agoraphobia in the bud before it becomes a proper thing. I don't need another thing."
I’ll take you out for an evening if that’d help xx |
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"I saw a tv program where people said hi and did the double cheek kiss thing and I felt anxiety to see people get too close.....
The idea of hooking up with strangers seems somehow a bit scary now.
It does. I think too we already knew how dangerous it could be pre-covid. You never *really* knew if you were gonna meet someone who'd snapped or was looking for a victim. I think a lot of us have heard of friends and maybe family breaking the rules, and these are people we trust. If people we've trusted can let us and themselves down and turn into a possible danger, then strangers are a mega threat.
I think that's what my brain has deduced anyway
I'm trying not to dwell too much. My brain can't take it. This has been enough already
I think I’m turning agoraphobic
I'm actively fighting that very thing at the moment.
Hugs. I wasn’t joking btw. Xx
Me neither. And I didn't think you were.
Hugs back. We'll get through. Bit at a time.
I’m in no rush to go out now. Barely left the house in a year.
I hear you.
I'm trying to nip this agoraphobia in the bud before it becomes a proper thing. I don't need another thing.
I’ll take you out for an evening if that’d help xx"
I think seeing safe people as we begin to unlock will definitely help. It'll take time for everything to feel ok again.
Thank you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I saw a tv program where people said hi and did the double cheek kiss thing and I felt anxiety to see people get too close.....
The idea of hooking up with strangers seems somehow a bit scary now.
It does. I think too we already knew how dangerous it could be pre-covid. You never *really* knew if you were gonna meet someone who'd snapped or was looking for a victim. I think a lot of us have heard of friends and maybe family breaking the rules, and these are people we trust. If people we've trusted can let us and themselves down and turn into a possible danger, then strangers are a mega threat.
I think that's what my brain has deduced anyway
I'm trying not to dwell too much. My brain can't take it. This has been enough already
I think I’m turning agoraphobic
I'm actively fighting that very thing at the moment.
Hugs. I wasn’t joking btw. Xx
Me neither. And I didn't think you were.
Hugs back. We'll get through. Bit at a time.
I’m in no rush to go out now. Barely left the house in a year.
I hear you.
I'm trying to nip this agoraphobia in the bud before it becomes a proper thing. I don't need another thing.
I’ll take you out for an evening if that’d help xx
I think seeing safe people as we begin to unlock will definitely help. It'll take time for everything to feel ok again.
Thank you "
 |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"Thought my mojo was on the back burner till kids went back to school, now their back all I’m enjoying is the peace and quiet, can’t even be arsed to take any new pics "
Chunky's photography services are available. |
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"[Removed by poster at 11/03/21 00:32:50]"
By TheVonMatterhornsFind posts by TheVonMatterhorns Couple
just this minute!
Whoville
It's happened to me a few times in the past when I chose not to/couldn't have sex. It bothered me for the first three months or so and then my libido took a holiday...once I started again I couldn't get enough though 
K |
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I suppose, just do what makes you happy. If you are having fun then sexiness might follow but if it doesn't that's OK too. People change and what was right for you before covid might not be what you want now. Don't worry about it. Just do what makes you happy. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I feel the same way. Between covid and health issues, my sex drive has just disappeared completely. I can't imagine a time when I might even want to meet again. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I feel the same.
I’m craving touch, just want cuddles and closeness.
But the thought of sex... no I really am not feeling it.
Like someone else said, I feel numb. "
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So it's been over a year since I've had sex now (thanks covid!).
With the easing up of lockdown coming over the next few months I should be feeling excited about potentially getting out there again but I just...don't.
Even though I'm feeling horny and still masturbating a lot, the thought of actually having sex with someone again just makes me feel a bit apathetic. Especially talking to people; once they start mentioning sex and how excited they are to meet when we're finally allowed I just get bored. I feel kinda bad as I don't want to waste anyone's time but I can't help feeling like I just can't be bothered...
Is this normal??
You have spent a year reconditioning yourself. In the same way that people who give up other activities that feed the reward/pleasure centres of the brain recondition themselves.
You still have sexual urges, which are currently satisfied by yourself. The thought of going back to pre lockdown activities doesn’t hit the spot because you have forgotten what the good bits are like.
It is likely that after a few months of meeting people you will return to how you were pre lockdown.
"
This makes a lot of sense, thank you! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Seems like a humongous effort and unwanted pressure.
A lot of us have had a change in values over the past year. We've realised what's important and what's not to us.
Plus, you've been on here throughout and fuck me you MUST have witnessed some right cuntish attitudes and incredible selfishness. That kinda shit does knock your confidence in people, and makes the thought of "people" a thought that makes yer brain heavy and in need of a nap."
Yeah, I have. And I have totally lost my faith in humanity at certain points. I think it has affected my ability to date (as much as the word "date" means these days) because as soon as anyone mentions breaking lockdown it puts me off them. Which bodes really badly for me because the reality is that the vast majority of people my age have still been meeting and/or dating during this past year.
I do get where they're coming from, as at times the loneliness has made me really tempted to break lockdown. The only reason I haven't given in has been to protect vulnerable members of my household. But I think at the moment I'm just resentful that so many people seem to have been able to get on with their lives while I'm still stuck. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I saw a tv program where people said hi and did the double cheek kiss thing and I felt anxiety to see people get too close.....
The idea of hooking up with strangers seems somehow a bit scary now. "
I have this too! I always feel a bit surprised to see people in close contact on TV now, even if it's old stuff that was filmed pre-covid. The brain is a funny old thing, huh? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thought my mojo was on the back burner till kids went back to school, now their back all I’m enjoying is the peace and quiet, can’t even be arsed to take any new pics "
"can't be arsed" is basically my life's motto at the moment. Which is not helping the state of things very much! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"[Removed by poster at 11/03/21 00:32:50]
By TheVonMatterhornsFind posts by TheVonMatterhorns Couple
just this minute!
Whoville
It's happened to me a few times in the past when I chose not to/couldn't have sex. It bothered me for the first three months or so and then my libido took a holiday...once I started again I couldn't get enough though
K"
You guys are so lucky you have each other. All couples are |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I suppose, just do what makes you happy. If you are having fun then sexiness might follow but if it doesn't that's OK too. People change and what was right for you before covid might not be what you want now. Don't worry about it. Just do what makes you happy. X"
I honestly don't even know what I want... |
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