FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Suspect partner using site..
Suspect partner using site..
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Hi all
Bit of an odd one.. and I'm hoping to get some advice if anybody has the time.
I found a profile on fab a few months back that I suspected was my partner. The username was her (middle name, first name initial, d.o.b but backwards)
I tried to message the person asking them to help me clarify, as I want my relationship to work, but they didn't reply to me.
The photos looked similar but with no definitive features (face, tattoos), the locations matched, all the login times matched with convenient times for her to get on. It made me incredibly anxious and sad.
I was logging in when I was with her, hoping that this profile had come on so I could justify that it wasn't her, but it never happened.
Eventually I showed her the website in person and explained I thought it was her. She did not show an ounce of shock when I showed her the site. I ended the relationship.
After a while we ended up getting back together, I missed her and she was adamant it was somebody else.
However. Now that other profile has disappeared, and a new one popped up with the same stats, same middle name there, same location, and these login times are convenient again. The person won't message me back.
Any advice, or questions??
I don't want this to affect our relationship, or to accuse her of something she hasn't done..
Thank you in advance. |
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So you’re on here without her knowledge but you do t want her to be on here without your knowledge?
You sound like you’re better off apart especially at your young age. Once the trust has gone .... |
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"So you’re on here without her knowledge but you do t want her to be on here without your knowledge?
You sound like you’re better off apart especially at your young age. Once the trust has gone .... "
Yep. This. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Thanks for the message. I get that haha..
I'm not an 'avid' site user, and haven't met or messaged anyone in years.
I made an account as I had a suspicion and wanted to confirm.. then found that account.
Perhaps is me thats in the wrong, and jumping to conclusions.. but it all seems very coincidental! |
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By *rder66Man
over a year ago
Tatooine |
You first mistake was having no cummunication.
Then you tried to 'catch her out' by finding evidence and using this to make her justify her lifestyle choices.
Why would you accuse her of anything, are you married and is she in a monogamous relationship with you? Then she is free to persue her life the way she see's fit and although you state she hasn't told you about it, you haven't said she has lied to you so, who is the person in this which has shown to most dishonesty. |
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"Thanks for the message. I get that haha..
I'm not an 'avid' site user, and haven't met or messaged anyone in years.
I made an account as I had a suspicion and wanted to confirm.. then found that account.
Perhaps is me thats in the wrong, and jumping to conclusions.. but it all seems very coincidental!"
So you set up an account just to catch her out.
You've got her out. Confirmed your suspicions.
And your still here..... |
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"Hi all
Bit of an odd one.. and I'm hoping to get some advice if anybody has the time.
I found a profile on fab a few months back that I suspected was my partner. The username was her (middle name, first name initial, d.o.b but backwards)
I tried to message the person asking them to help me clarify, as I want my relationship to work, but they didn't reply to me.
The photos looked similar but with no definitive features (face, tattoos), the locations matched, all the login times matched with convenient times for her to get on. It made me incredibly anxious and sad.
I was logging in when I was with her, hoping that this profile had come on so I could justify that it wasn't her, but it never happened.
Eventually I showed her the website in person and explained I thought it was her. She did not show an ounce of shock when I showed her the site. I ended the relationship.
After a while we ended up getting back together, I missed her and she was adamant it was somebody else.
However. Now that other profile has disappeared, and a new one popped up with the same stats, same middle name there, same location, and these login times are convenient again. The person won't message me back.
Any advice, or questions??
I don't want this to affect our relationship, or to accuse her of something she hasn't done..
Thank you in advance."
set up a another profile of your own,and ask for a meet ??? See who turns up |
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"Thanks for the message. I get that haha..
I'm not an 'avid' site user, and haven't met or messaged anyone in years.
I made an account as I had a suspicion and wanted to confirm.. then found that account.
Perhaps is me thats in the wrong, and jumping to conclusions.. but it all seems very coincidental!"
That's not how your original post reads at all. It reads as if you happened upon a profile while search that you thought was your partners. Not that you created this account because you suspected she was on here.
Far too much game playing in my opinion. Not blaming anyone but if you can't both be honest about having accounts on here then what else are you lying to each other about? |
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You don't trust her. You will never trust her. For both your sakes end the relationship and start all your future relationships with honest communication.
You're making things fit your suspicions and that is not a good way to be in a relationship |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi all
Bit of an odd one.. and I'm hoping to get some advice if anybody has the time.
I found a profile on fab a few months back that I suspected was my partner. The username was her (middle name, first name initial, d.o.b but backwards)
I tried to message the person asking them to help me clarify, as I want my relationship to work, but they didn't reply to me.
The photos looked similar but with no definitive features (face, tattoos), the locations matched, all the login times matched with convenient times for her to get on. It made me incredibly anxious and sad.
I was logging in when I was with her, hoping that this profile had come on so I could justify that it wasn't her, but it never happened.
Eventually I showed her the website in person and explained I thought it was her. She did not show an ounce of shock when I showed her the site. I ended the relationship.
After a while we ended up getting back together, I missed her and she was adamant it was somebody else.
However. Now that other profile has disappeared, and a new one popped up with the same stats, same middle name there, same location, and these login times are convenient again. The person won't message me back.
Any advice, or questions??
I don't want this to affect our relationship, or to accuse her of something she hasn't done..
Thank you in advance."
Definitely double standards. You can fuck around behind her back but she can't fuck around behind your back !!! |
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"Hi all
Bit of an odd one.. and I'm hoping to get some advice if anybody has the time.
I found a profile on fab a few months back that I suspected was my partner. The username was her (middle name, first name initial, d.o.b but backwards)
I tried to message the person asking them to help me clarify, as I want my relationship to work, but they didn't reply to me.
The photos looked similar but with no definitive features (face, tattoos), the locations matched, all the login times matched with convenient times for her to get on. It made me incredibly anxious and sad.
I was logging in when I was with her, hoping that this profile had come on so I could justify that it wasn't her, but it never happened.
Eventually I showed her the website in person and explained I thought it was her. She did not show an ounce of shock when I showed her the site. I ended the relationship.
After a while we ended up getting back together, I missed her and she was adamant it was somebody else.
However. Now that other profile has disappeared, and a new one popped up with the same stats, same middle name there, same location, and these login times are convenient again. The person won't message me back.
Any advice, or questions??
I don't want this to affect our relationship, or to accuse her of something she hasn't done..
Thank you in advance."
Oh also you are already accusing her and its already affected your relationship |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You first mistake was having no cummunication.
Then you tried to 'catch her out' by finding evidence and using this to make her justify her lifestyle choices.
Why would you accuse her of anything, are you married and is she in a monogamous relationship with you? Then she is free to persue her life the way she see's fit and although you state she hasn't told you about it, you haven't said she has lied to you so, who is the person in this which has shown to most dishonesty. "
This ^
Sounds like an unhealthy mix of distrust and paranoia OP. Take it from me, this isn’t the place to start any kind of relationship. Sorry I couldn’t be more positive  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"After all this what if its not her
Then he's made a big boo boo.
Major boo boo if so!!
What could she say or do that would make you believe her? What would stop you from looking for evidence? "
This is a great question. I honestly don't know the answer to that..
The right answer is that I shouldn't feel like this at all.
This hasn't happened to me before. Only with this girl. And its gutting because she's the one I want it to work with!! |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
I find it quite sad that people have such double standards, the OP has explained the situation, yet he’s still the wrong one for being here? If this was a woman, people would be tripping over themselves to shout how awful the partner was.
In terms of the OP, I hate to say it but without trust, there is no relationship. Irrespective of whether you’re right or wrong, whether you find her or not, if you can’t or don’t trust her, then there isn’t a future, as if it’s not here then it will be somewhere else.
You got back together, if you didn’t solve the issues from the first time then you’re doomed to repeat the same behaviour.
Communication and trust are the basis of any relationship, if you do neither then why are you together?
My advice is to talk to her about all of everything, then go from there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I wouldn't want to be in any relation that has any kind of distrust and lying but it seems to me that you do? How do you think that your relationship will actually work with so much of it? Maybe invest your time in talking to her and perhaps couple's counseling ... start from the beginning again? |
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"After all this what if its not her
Then he's made a big boo boo.
Major boo boo if so!!
What could she say or do that would make you believe her? What would stop you from looking for evidence?
This is a great question. I honestly don't know the answer to that..
The right answer is that I shouldn't feel like this at all.
This hasn't happened to me before. Only with this girl. And its gutting because she's the one I want it to work with!!"
Ok. If it's never happened before his there something in her behaviour that has triggered these feelings? Because purely based on what you've said here, this is not a healthy situation. |
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O.P.
You are showing suspicious tendencies. I won't say paranoia, I'll just think it to myself.
Sometimes these states of mind are brought about by our own behaviour.
You know how theives think everyone's a theif..... and how tax dodgers think everyone does it..... and how cheats and liars think their partner does it too .. ??
Smells like that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I find it quite sad that people have such double standards, the OP has explained the situation, yet he’s still the wrong one for being here? If this was a woman, people would be tripping over themselves to shout how awful the partner was.
In terms of the OP, I hate to say it but without trust, there is no relationship. Irrespective of whether you’re right or wrong, whether you find her or not, if you can’t or don’t trust her, then there isn’t a future, as if it’s not here then it will be somewhere else.
You got back together, if you didn’t solve the issues from the first time then you’re doomed to repeat the same behaviour.
Communication and trust are the basis of any relationship, if you do neither then why are you together?
My advice is to talk to her about all of everything, then go from there"
I think people are trying to point out the double standards, rather than anything else. He's on a sex site, clearly without her knowledge, but then he's upset when he stumbles across her profile.
If a woman posted this, I'm sure the same hypocrisy would be pointed out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Too much drama man.
Ask her.
If you believe her when she says no or yes. Good.
If you don’t believe any of her answers. You have trust issues with her.
Go and talk to her, not strangers on the internet. 
You asked, I gave you my opinion. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Thanks for the replies and advice all, very grateful for your time.
I get the irony - I am on the site yes, but don't meet/talk to others. Purely keep an eye on this.. But no matter what I say people are gona view that differently.
A lot of the responses are around trust issues. And yeah, the guy who said "go talk to her not strangers on the internet". End of the day that sums it up perfectly. But strangers on the internet may be able to cast a different light on it and help me view it differently or give advice on how to deal with it.
It does need talking through with her if it's going to be sorted out. I was hoping this wouldn't have to be the case.. but.. inevitable.
Granny-crumpet - I've thought about this before, and don't doubt there's some truth in this.
Dirty Pretty - I did recognise some things from the photos from the previous profile. Lingerie. Body build and shape was very similar. But they looked like older (crap) pictures and she'd been through some changes so was hard to distinguish. Also - the new profile has no pics or verifications which makes things difficult. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"After all this what if its not her
Then he's made a big boo boo.
Major boo boo if so!!
What could she say or do that would make you believe her? What would stop you from looking for evidence?
This is a great question. I honestly don't know the answer to that..
The right answer is that I shouldn't feel like this at all.
This hasn't happened to me before. Only with this girl. And its gutting because she's the one I want it to work with!!
Ok. If it's never happened before his there something in her behaviour that has triggered these feelings? Because purely based on what you've said here, this is not a healthy situation."
Her behaviour and her past both scare me and make me want to run away. But I don't think it's fair to judge her on what happened.. only fair to give it a chance and see if she does the same thing to me as she has with other people.. but some gut feeling is clawing away in there. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I find it quite sad that people have such double standards, the OP has explained the situation, yet he’s still the wrong one for being here? If this was a woman, people would be tripping over themselves to shout how awful the partner was.
In terms of the OP, I hate to say it but without trust, there is no relationship. Irrespective of whether you’re right or wrong, whether you find her or not, if you can’t or don’t trust her, then there isn’t a future, as if it’s not here then it will be somewhere else.
You got back together, if you didn’t solve the issues from the first time then you’re doomed to repeat the same behaviour.
Communication and trust are the basis of any relationship, if you do neither then why are you together?
My advice is to talk to her about all of everything, then go from there"
Very appreciative for this advice - thank you. Makes sense. Just trying not to face it I think!
Much appreciated |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I started a diplomatic reply - but to be honest I can't be arsed 
It sounds exhausting and game playery.
Find an honest relationship where neither of you are lying to each other.
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"After all this what if its not her
Then he's made a big boo boo.big boo boo indeed "
And this is why I don't wana tackle it with her in truth.... if I'm wrong, that means I was wrong about the first time too, and there's no going back after that. I don't want to hurt her by making the accusation. But also don't want to be taken the 'p***' out of. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I started a diplomatic reply - but to be honest I can't be arsed
It sounds exhausting and game playery.
Find an honest relationship where neither of you are lying to each other.
Good luck "
Hahaha amazing. 
Thanks |
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You need to communicate better with your partner OP, but in my experience once the trust has gone it's very hard to gain back.
You've split up once over this and got back together. If you don't resolve it one way or another it will just be groundhog day.
Good luck. |
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"Thanks for the message. I get that haha..
I'm not an 'avid' site user, and haven't met or messaged anyone in years.
I made an account as I had a suspicion and wanted to confirm.. then found that account.
Perhaps is me thats in the wrong, and jumping to conclusions.. but it all seems very coincidental!"
Of all the sites why would your suspicion be to open a profile to catch your partner. Please don't piss on my leg and say it's raining! 
It's ok for you to be on here but not her.. hmmm...Okie dokie then! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think you would know if it was her, I recognise the same dick picks that come up on local feed, let alone if it's someone you have been with, you just know.
Trust your instincts. It probably is her. Decide if you want to be with someone who is going to be dishonest about you being on here. To me it sounds like it's her also because if someone messages me accuses me of being their wife or gf I'd send them a face pic to put an end to it.
It doesn't sound right you being on here without you being honest with her about it either. Cut your losses both of you. Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So which came first? Your suspicion or your account? "
The suspicion.
There was some odd behaviour, and for some reason after a couple of years not being on the site this sprang to mind. So I made an account and had a look to see if anything fit. Surely enough it did, and everything matched. Even including the name, first name and D.O.B.
It's messy I know, and everyone entitled to their opinions on it. But I'm comfortable that I would never cheat on her. |
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Oh lordy.
I can understand making a profile to look for evidence when having suspicions.
Fuck, I jumped in a taxi in my pyjamas to go to the pub where my cheating abusive ex used to drink because my gut told me to "get there, get there now and you'll catch him and all this will be over"
Whatever the truth is, you're getting messed up over it, and whether the answer is heads or tails it's an unhealthy truth.
Being accused when you're innocent it soul destroying and if she is innocent you'll have really hurt her deeply.
If she isn't innocent then you're both as bad as one another for being on here (unless as I said up there, you joined to catch her out and find the truth, which I don't think you did)
Part ways. Thank you and goodnight.
|
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"Oh lordy.
I can understand making a profile to look for evidence when having suspicions.
Fuck, I jumped in a taxi in my pyjamas to go to the pub where my cheating abusive ex used to drink because my gut told me to "get there, get there now and you'll catch him and all this will be over"
Whatever the truth is, you're getting messed up over it, and whether the answer is heads or tails it's an unhealthy truth.
Being accused when you're innocent it soul destroying and if she is innocent you'll have really hurt her deeply.
If she isn't innocent then you're both as bad as one another for being on here (unless as I said up there, you joined to catch her out and find the truth, which I don't think you did)
Part ways. Thank you and goodnight.
"
OK, I started typing this before the what came first the suspicion or the profile question, so that's been answered.
Head fuck City
Get out.
Thank you and goodnight |
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By *imbobaMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
A totally useless point under the circumstances as the OP isn’t playing straight or is too fearful to communicate properly - but whenever I’ve met a woman that isn’t on Fabs and I suspect/hope things will go further I always divulge my choice of life style and being on here before anything more serious happens.
You’d be surprised how liberating and effective it is. |
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"A totally useless point under the circumstances as the OP isn’t playing straight or is too fearful to communicate properly - but whenever I’ve met a woman that isn’t on Fabs and I suspect/hope things will go further I always divulge my choice of life style and being on here before anything more serious happens.
You’d be surprised how liberating and effective it is. "
Yep. Being open and truthful is very liberating. I'm amazed how many people are honest as a last resort. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What may have come in a handy tool was the "who's near" function if both on mobile.
Just a heads up "
Yeah thats how i unfortunatley found a family member on Fabguys lol |
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"What may have come in a handy tool was the "who's near" function if both on mobile.
Just a heads up
Yeah thats how i unfortunatley found a family member on Fabguys lol"
and why I hide my profile when my son is in town just in case! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What may have come in a handy tool was the "who's near" function if both on mobile.
Just a heads up
Yeah thats how i unfortunatley found a family member on Fabguys lol
and why I hide my profile when my son is in town just in case!"
Was away visting them for a few days and decided to do the whos nearby thing as i normaly also have it off. Somone pops up "within touching distance" take a look a the profile and recognised the furniture instantly. I have never repeated FUCK in my head so many times |
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"After all this what if its not her
Then he's made a big boo boo.
Major boo boo if so!!
What could she say or do that would make you believe her? What would stop you from looking for evidence?
This is a great question. I honestly don't know the answer to that..
The right answer is that I shouldn't feel like this at all.
This hasn't happened to me before. Only with this girl. And its gutting because she's the one I want it to work with!!
Ok. If it's never happened before his there something in her behaviour that has triggered these feelings? Because purely based on what you've said here, this is not a healthy situation.
Her behaviour and her past both scare me and make me want to run away. But I don't think it's fair to judge her on what happened.. only fair to give it a chance and see if she does the same thing to me as she has with other people.. but some gut feeling is clawing away in there."
Judge her on her current behaviour it's all you can do. We all judge, it's necessary and if rightly or wrongly you feel this way it will probably never resolve itself.
If I had been challenged/accused of having a profile on here the last thing I'd do is set up another one using almost identical details. However you say you've recognised things in the pictures so... |
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And people wonder why some of us choose not to meet singles. The drama is just too much.
There was another post a while back asking how couples can be happy meeting as the op wouldn't want to 'share' his wife.
You're on here, she's on here. If you don't like it, move on and think about what sites like this mean to you and others and whether it's the same. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for the message. I get that haha..
I'm not an 'avid' site user, and haven't met or messaged anyone in years.
I made an account as I had a suspicion and wanted to confirm.. then found that account.
!"
I’m confused you haven’t met or messaged anyone for years, but you only made this account because of suspicion, why would u be meeting or messaging if your only checking up on someone.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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And you have pics on your profile for friends only.
All seems a little odd for someone who is just looking to see if his girlfriend is on here.
Sorry, but that’s the way it looks to me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Have you read her reviews  just asking because if she is here there's always a probability that we possibly could have met 
"
Unfortunately doesn't show reviews!
And not sure she's switched on her GPS stuff.. |
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"So which came first? Your suspicion or your account?
The suspicion.
There was some odd behaviour, and for some reason after a couple of years not being on the site this sprang to mind. So I made an account and had a look to see if anything fit. Surely enough it did, and everything matched. Even including the name, first name and D.O.B.
It's messy I know, and everyone entitled to their opinions on it. But I'm comfortable that I would never cheat on her."
So she behaved oddly and you immediately kept to 'I bet she's on fab swingers'?
Were you both on here previously? |
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"Have you read her reviews just asking because if she is here there's always a probability that we possibly could have met
Unfortunately doesn't show reviews!
And not sure she's switched on her GPS stuff.. "
Soooo, she might be on here for the same reason as you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So which came first? Your suspicion or your account?
The suspicion.
There was some odd behaviour, and for some reason after a couple of years not being on the site this sprang to mind. So I made an account and had a look to see if anything fit. Surely enough it did, and everything matched. Even including the name, first name and D.O.B.
It's messy I know, and everyone entitled to their opinions on it. But I'm comfortable that I would never cheat on her.
So she behaved oddly and you immediately kept to 'I bet she's on fab swingers'?
Were you both on here previously? "
It was more of a 'I wonder'..
She said she never heard of the site.
But she's cheated on previous partners, she's very flirty naturally and is naughty.
Friends Gf's I've met in the past who seemed like angels I've seen on this site, so absolutely anybody could be. Turns out my brother was too!
So it was more of a 'I wonder'... and sure enough it seemed I wasn't wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Have you read her reviews just asking because if she is here there's always a probability that we possibly could have met
Unfortunately doesn't show reviews!
And not sure she's switched on her GPS stuff..
Soooo, she might be on here for the same reason as you. "
I've previously messaged the account asking them to get in touch. Sent pics of me, saying who I am and asking them to ring me or to meet up.
Nothing. |
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"Have you read her reviews just asking because if she is here there's always a probability that we possibly could have met
Unfortunately doesn't show reviews!
And not sure she's switched on her GPS stuff.. "
Now tell us what you looking for here on fabs? Are you newbie to the swing scene |
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"Have you read her reviews just asking because if she is here there's always a probability that we possibly could have met
Unfortunately doesn't show reviews!
And not sure she's switched on her GPS stuff..
Soooo, she might be on here for the same reason as you.
I've previously messaged the account asking them to get in touch. Sent pics of me, saying who I am and asking them to ring me or to meet up.
Nothing."
Asking them?! Or asking her , i though she had an account as single !
If they haven't msg you back probably is because you are not their type or what they are looking for |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you’re on here without her knowledge but you do t want her to be on here without your knowledge?
You sound like you’re better off apart especially at your young age. Once the trust has gone .... "
Exactly this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sounds like your making it up to be honest one minute you said she knew it was you then the other she doesn’t know you on here make your mind up how did she find out about site and how did you think to join fab there’s loads of sites she could be on bit weird and how did you find out about the site |
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"Have you read her reviews just asking because if she is here there's always a probability that we possibly could have met
Unfortunately doesn't show reviews!
And not sure she's switched on her GPS stuff..
Soooo, she might be on here for the same reason as you.
I've previously messaged the account asking them to get in touch. Sent pics of me, saying who I am and asking them to ring me or to meet up.
Nothing."
We've had similar messages or messages asking if we've seen or met a certain person because they suspect their partner is cheating. We never answer either.
My opinion based on what I've read here is that you are both better off without each other. |
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"So which came first? Your suspicion or your account?
The suspicion.
There was some odd behaviour, and for some reason after a couple of years not being on the site this sprang to mind. So I made an account and had a look to see if anything fit. Surely enough it did, and everything matched. Even including the name, first name and D.O.B.
It's messy I know, and everyone entitled to their opinions on it. But I'm comfortable that I would never cheat on her.
So she behaved oddly and you immediately kept to 'I bet she's on fab swingers'?
Were you both on here previously?
It was more of a 'I wonder'..
She said she never heard of the site.
But she's cheated on previous partners, she's very flirty naturally and is naughty.
Friends Gf's I've met in the past who seemed like angels I've seen on this site, so absolutely anybody could be. Turns out my brother was too!
So it was more of a 'I wonder'... and sure enough it seemed I wasn't wrong."
It's still a bit of a jump in my eyes. Something doesn't add up.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Have you read her reviews just asking because if she is here there's always a probability that we possibly could have met
Unfortunately doesn't show reviews!
And not sure she's switched on her GPS stuff..
Soooo, she might be on here for the same reason as you.
I've previously messaged the account asking them to get in touch. Sent pics of me, saying who I am and asking them to ring me or to meet up.
Nothing.
We've had similar messages or messages asking if we've seen or met a certain person because they suspect their partner is cheating. We never answer either.
My opinion based on what I've read here is that you are both better off without each other. "
Thanks for your time reading this, appreciate it.
Not what I wanted to hear though!! haha x |
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"Have you read her reviews just asking because if she is here there's always a probability that we possibly could have met
Unfortunately doesn't show reviews!
And not sure she's switched on her GPS stuff..
Soooo, she might be on here for the same reason as you.
I've previously messaged the account asking them to get in touch. Sent pics of me, saying who I am and asking them to ring me or to meet up.
Nothing."
as there is nothing on your account to excite anyone, not surprised you had no response |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So which came first? Your suspicion or your account?
The suspicion.
There was some odd behaviour, and for some reason after a couple of years not being on the site this sprang to mind. So I made an account and had a look to see if anything fit. Surely enough it did, and everything matched. Even including the name, first name and D.O.B.
It's messy I know, and everyone entitled to their opinions on it. But I'm comfortable that I would never cheat on her.
So she behaved oddly and you immediately kept to 'I bet she's on fab swingers'?
Were you both on here previously?
It was more of a 'I wonder'..
She said she never heard of the site.
But she's cheated on previous partners, she's very flirty naturally and is naughty.
Friends Gf's I've met in the past who seemed like angels I've seen on this site, so absolutely anybody could be. Turns out my brother was too!
So it was more of a 'I wonder'... and sure enough it seemed I wasn't wrong.
It's still a bit of a jump in my eyes. Something doesn't add up.
"
Most likely some trust issues on my part helping me get to the conclusion..
but still. There's something fundamentally making me 'wobble' about the whole thing, which has never happened to me before.
Not saying my gut's right, but if something's making me have a gut feeling then it can't be good!! |
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"Have you read her reviews just asking because if she is here there's always a probability that we possibly could have met
Unfortunately doesn't show reviews!
And not sure she's switched on her GPS stuff..
Soooo, she might be on here for the same reason as you.
I've previously messaged the account asking them to get in touch. Sent pics of me, saying who I am and asking them to ring me or to meet up.
Nothing.
We've had similar messages or messages asking if we've seen or met a certain person because they suspect their partner is cheating. We never answer either.
My opinion based on what I've read here is that you are both better off without each other.
Thanks for your time reading this, appreciate it.
Not what I wanted to hear though!! haha x"
OK, what did you want to hear? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So which came first? Your suspicion or your account?
The suspicion.
There was some odd behaviour, and for some reason after a couple of years not being on the site this sprang to mind. So I made an account and had a look to see if anything fit. Surely enough it did, and everything matched. Even including the name, first name and D.O.B.
It's messy I know, and everyone entitled to their opinions on it. But I'm comfortable that I would never cheat on her.
So she behaved oddly and you immediately kept to 'I bet she's on fab swingers'?
Were you both on here previously?
It was more of a 'I wonder'..
She said she never heard of the site.
But she's cheated on previous partners, she's very flirty naturally and is naughty.
Friends Gf's I've met in the past who seemed like angels I've seen on this site, so absolutely anybody could be. Turns out my brother was too!
So it was more of a 'I wonder'... and sure enough it seemed I wasn't wrong.
It's still a bit of a jump in my eyes. Something doesn't add up.
Most likely some trust issues on my part helping me get to the conclusion..
but still. There's something fundamentally making me 'wobble' about the whole thing, which has never happened to me before.
Not saying my gut's right, but if something's making me have a gut feeling then it can't be good!!"
How about a direct honest conversation with your partner,
Tell her your suspicions, feelings and insecurities, cuz that were this stems from..
But also own your part about setting up a profile in an attempt to prove your suspicions right |
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"Have you read her reviews just asking because if she is here there's always a probability that we possibly could have met
Unfortunately doesn't show reviews!
And not sure she's switched on her GPS stuff..
Soooo, she might be on here for the same reason as you.
I've previously messaged the account asking them to get in touch. Sent pics of me, saying who I am and asking them to ring me or to meet up.
Nothing."
That means fuck all though dude.
I've 195 messages sat in my inbox and I have no intention of replying to or reading most of them. Being on here doesn't mean I'm gonna respond to anyone, especially someone with bugger all on their profile.
Plus, we're still in lockdown so why would someone reply to that?
How successful have you been with other messages you've sent saying the same? I'll be shocked if it's any more than 0.01% |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Have you read her reviews just asking because if she is here there's always a probability that we possibly could have met
Unfortunately doesn't show reviews!
And not sure she's switched on her GPS stuff..
Soooo, she might be on here for the same reason as you.
I've previously messaged the account asking them to get in touch. Sent pics of me, saying who I am and asking them to ring me or to meet up.
Nothing.
That means fuck all though dude.
I've 195 messages sat in my inbox and I have no intention of replying to or reading most of them. Being on here doesn't mean I'm gonna respond to anyone, especially someone with bugger all on their profile.
Plus, we're still in lockdown so why would someone reply to that?
How successful have you been with other messages you've sent saying the same? I'll be shocked if it's any more than 0.01% "
196 now...ive sent 1,top of the pile |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So which came first? Your suspicion or your account?
The suspicion.
There was some odd behaviour, and for some reason after a couple of years not being on the site this sprang to mind. So I made an account and had a look to see if anything fit. Surely enough it did, and everything matched. Even including the name, first name and D.O.B.
It's messy I know, and everyone entitled to their opinions on it. But I'm comfortable that I would never cheat on her.
So she behaved oddly and you immediately kept to 'I bet she's on fab swingers'?
Were you both on here previously?
It was more of a 'I wonder'..
She said she never heard of the site.
But she's cheated on previous partners, she's very flirty naturally and is naughty.
Friends Gf's I've met in the past who seemed like angels I've seen on this site, so absolutely anybody could be. Turns out my brother was too!
So it was more of a 'I wonder'... and sure enough it seemed I wasn't wrong.
It's still a bit of a jump in my eyes. Something doesn't add up.
Most likely some trust issues on my part helping me get to the conclusion..
but still. There's something fundamentally making me 'wobble' about the whole thing, which has never happened to me before.
Not saying my gut's right, but if something's making me have a gut feeling then it can't be good!!
How about a direct honest conversation with your partner,
Tell her your suspicions, feelings and insecurities, cuz that were this stems from..
But also own your part about setting up a profile in an attempt to prove your suspicions right "
I did this last time, showed her my profile, showed her the profile I thought was her, talked it through and explained why I was worried, why I thought it was her and how I found the site. It didn't go well.
She knows I've been on here, and I told her I'm open to talking about it if it is her. But after everything that happened she wouldn't admit even if it was. This is why it's difficult to speak - because the walls would come straight down in defensive mode. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Trying to catch someone out is never a good idea. Do you expect them to believe that you didn't stumble across theirs while you were looking for people to meet?
You need an open and honest talk about your future together. If she is on here to find some fun, something must be missing from her relationship with you. It could be that she thought you were on here so came to catch you out.
A friend of mine saw that my then husband was on the sex site she was. She'd already tried to catch him out as he'd never met her and didn't know what she looked like. He bit and arranged to meet up. She never went. I was with her when he messaged to ask where she was. He'd told me he was working.
Once you've got suspicions, you're potentially doomed to a life of questioning you, them, your relationship, trust and love. You two need to do some serious talking.
Good luck to you both xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Trying to catch someone out is never a good idea. Do you expect them to believe that you didn't stumble across theirs while you were looking for people to meet?
You need an open and honest talk about your future together. If she is on here to find some fun, something must be missing from her relationship with you. It could be that she thought you were on here so came to catch you out.
A friend of mine saw that my then husband was on the sex site she was. She'd already tried to catch him out as he'd never met her and didn't know what she looked like. He bit and arranged to meet up. She never went. I was with her when he messaged to ask where she was. He'd told me he was working.
Once you've got suspicions, you're potentially doomed to a life of questioning you, them, your relationship, trust and love. You two need to do some serious talking.
Good luck to you both xx"
Yeah this is what's needed at the end of the day, otherwise will just go round in circles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I dont think the OP is being or taking this seriously
After 80 posts or so a little bit of fun was welcomed! Apologies "
Good. Welcome to the fab lounge forum |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I dont think the OP is being or taking this seriously
After 80 posts or so a little bit of fun was welcomed! Apologies "
I can understand that. When you have that talk, you've no idea how it will go, so to be able to have that light relief now could help.
Only someone who has been there would understand that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So which came first? Your suspicion or your account?
The suspicion.
There was some odd behaviour, and for some reason after a couple of years not being on the site this sprang to mind. So I made an account and had a look to see if anything fit. Surely enough it did, and everything matched. Even including the name, first name and D.O.B.
It's messy I know, and everyone entitled to their opinions on it. But I'm comfortable that I would never cheat on her.
So she behaved oddly and you immediately kept to 'I bet she's on fab swingers'?
Were you both on here previously?
It was more of a 'I wonder'..
She said she never heard of the site.
But she's cheated on previous partners, she's very flirty naturally and is naughty.
Friends Gf's I've met in the past who seemed like angels I've seen on this site, so absolutely anybody could be. Turns out my brother was too!
So it was more of a 'I wonder'... and sure enough it seemed I wasn't wrong.
It's still a bit of a jump in my eyes. Something doesn't add up.
Most likely some trust issues on my part helping me get to the conclusion..
but still. There's something fundamentally making me 'wobble' about the whole thing, which has never happened to me before.
Not saying my gut's right, but if something's making me have a gut feeling then it can't be good!!
How about a direct honest conversation with your partner,
Tell her your suspicions, feelings and insecurities, cuz that were this stems from..
But also own your part about setting up a profile in an attempt to prove your suspicions right
I did this last time, showed her my profile, showed her the profile I thought was her, talked it through and explained why I was worried, why I thought it was her and how I found the site. It didn't go well.
She knows I've been on here, and I told her I'm open to talking about it if it is her. But after everything that happened she wouldn't admit even if it was. This is why it's difficult to speak - because the walls would come straight down in defensive mode."
Just maybe she may not actually be on here |
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"Who likes Haribos
Me.
Tangfastics.
Bags of them."
Could you buy for all of us some , after all we all really deserve after reading your post OP !
Now again tell us what you looking for here on fabs ?
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