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Spanking.. Its also about the mind.
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By *landEl OP Couple
over a year ago
Kent |
When El and I got togther we played pretty normally but soon agreed we were looking to push our boundaries further. We took the bdsm test having seen other people display their results on here and noticed that our results showed that he is a bit more dom and she is a bit more sub.. And we went from there. I guess the results opened up a lot of play opportunities. We still play on equal terms mostly but now and then she will put her collar on telling me tonight this is how I want to play. We still aren't hugely into pain but we do enjoy a spanking session with various toys and tools... We find that the thoughts and feelings around the spanking is way more important than the pain.. What are other peoples thoughts? Do you like to be spanked or caned or is it more the delicious torment as well as the swipes...or are you just into administering the pain? Let us know your thoughts! |
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I much prefer the cane to spanking. Some of that preference has to do with the people who spank badly. It's not about just hitting someone. Warming up the area you're going to spank first is something that not everyone does. Similarly, with caning, it's good practice to warm up the area first with something like a light hand spanking. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im not a sadist so its more an erotic experience for me than simply causing pain.
Its the build up, anticipation, choosing whether over the knee, dessk, chair etc. Whether its my hand or an implement - each has a different feel, how she reacts, the redding of cheeks or the marks left....The psychology of your relationship and the scene at the time. Its so much more than just the act itself |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
Sadist here - if it hurts, causes pain, elicits a fuck you, then my brain juices get flowing.
Just as an aside, while lots of people do the BDSM test, I prefer BDSM checklists.
The BDSM teat just gives you an idea of the “role” you best suit.
Checklists provide a list of activities, some of which you may not have thought of.
The one I refer people too can be found by googling discerningspecialist bdsm checklist.
It should take you to a google sheet where you can save it and work on it together. It is quite a long one, and you can add things you think are missing.
The beauty is you can revisit it later on and see how your tastes have changed.
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"I don't think people should put their faith in psychological profile tests. They have an agenda.
It just gave us a starting point to talk about more than anything else. "
Don't get me wrong: they can offer an alternative perspective that some people find valuable but they invariably exist to put people in boxes to suit the world view of their creators. It's important to recognise their limitations. |
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By *landEl OP Couple
over a year ago
Kent |
"I don't think people should put their faith in psychological profile tests. They have an agenda.
It just gave us a starting point to talk about more than anything else.
Don't get me wrong: they can offer an alternative perspective that some people find valuable but they invariably exist to put people in boxes to suit the world view of their creators. It's important to recognise their limitations."
F here, I’ve always been a sub in that scenario... more of a “brat” I guess.. the quiz was more just for a giggle and like he said a talking point for us to explore other adventures |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
Like most kink, spanking is not one dimensional. It can be used for pain, it can be used erotically. It can reinforce the power dynamic when telling the sub to adopt the position and expect a spanking. It can be connective I use it sometimes before play to help us get in the headspace. Sometimes it helps the sub feel grounded. I have mentioned before going on holiday with my then sub girlfriend and in the first two days she played up, not bratting, but being off, so when we were in our room I spanked her and her mood lifted. It was my pleasant duty to spank her everyday before we went to breakfast because it made her feel grounded.
There is no one purpose for spanking. |
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Adore spanking, both ways.
If I'm on the receiving end from someone with the skills ( ) it is absolute bliss.
The anticipation of those big hands on me, the thrill of the sounds and the sensations...delicious. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Enjoy being spanked and can also turn my hand (pun completely intended!!) to spanking - it can take on many forms from just a playful few swats as part of otherwise vanilla play right through the quite serious D/s angles.
It's about so much more than the pain though, particularly if ritualised, so the being summonsed, being told what's about to happen, having trousers and underwear lowered, being placed over a knee and that delicious wait for the first stinging sensation, then being sent to stand and not allowed to touch, when all you can feel is that wonderful glowing throb, before finally being allowed to inspect and see the reddened cheeks in a mirror and run a hand over them feeling the hot skin - all of that gets into your head and goes way beyond the actual pain. |
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"Enjoy being spanked and can also turn my hand (pun completely intended!!) to spanking - it can take on many forms from just a playful few swats as part of otherwise vanilla play right through the quite serious D/s angles.
It's about so much more than the pain though, particularly if ritualised, so the being summonsed, being told what's about to happen, having trousers and underwear lowered, being placed over a knee and that delicious wait for the first stinging sensation, then being sent to stand and not allowed to touch, when all you can feel is that wonderful glowing throb, before finally being allowed to inspect and see the reddened cheeks in a mirror and run a hand over them feeling the hot skin - all of that gets into your head and goes way beyond the actual pain."
This wasn't quite my fantasy but GM this sounds good..really good |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"I much prefer the cane to spanking. Some of that preference has to do with the people who spank badly. It's not about just hitting someone. Warming up the area you're going to spank first is something that not everyone does. Similarly, with caning, it's good practice to warm up the area first with something like a light hand spanking. "
(Smiles) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like a hand spanking...uts so (obviously) tactile and intimate. My preferred implement are a riding crop and a belt.
The crop is so much more formal and suited to the ritual of 'disipline' and the belt has that beautiful sound as its pulled through the trouser loops, that heightens the anticipation for both
A 'spanking' isnt just for the cheeks either |
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By *landEl OP Couple
over a year ago
Kent |
Thanks for the input it's nice to hear perspectives. I worry about hurting her of course but we have safe words and often part if the game is I have her pick how the next set is administered.. Crop.. Paddle or cane. I enjoy the game and get my kicks from being sir as and when she chooses to play but would be mortified to actually inflict damage or actual bad pain. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I never thought it would interest me as I like to be in control, then I was lucky to meet a lady who had been a dominatrix.
I put my trust in her and she rewarded me with a prolonged spanking session.
OMG! It was one of the most erotic things I’ve ever experienced and I’d definitely like to experiment some more.
V |
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