FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Can’t find a meet
Can’t find a meet
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"No been on here for a year and no interest "
A year is basically the duration of the pandemic, and your profile says nine months which is right in the heart of it.
Does your profile jump out at the people you message in a positive way? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do that because the people I no on here but I want bi couples and people don’t no I’m bi I do put pics in messages "
If they read your profile op they will know that you are indeed bi.
T |
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Ok well you are in a catch 22 situation really as even though you may put pictures in with your messages, a lot of the messages will go unread as they will look at your profile first and make a decision from that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ye but that’s why there is no pic they don’t no I’m here "
Use the reply+quote feature so people know to whom you are replying to which will make your thread flow better.
T |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tend to reply to profiles with effort, pictures, and clarity on preferences.
There are a huge amount of guys on here, and some try much, much harder than others to stand out, and generally they are the guys who spark an interest.
Engaging in the forums goes a long way x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Apparently you messaged me 8 months ago OP and I didn't reply. The fact that you have no pictures on your profile could be the reason why. You say you don't want to be recognised but you don't have to put face pics. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
First thing I do before I even open a message is look at the profile of the person.A profile that doesn't appeal will rarely get any reply it doesn't matter if you post pics in your messages or not .
And I'm sorry but the whole I have no pics in case someone recognises me is a cop out line. A lot of people don't want other recognising them but still make an effort with their profile .Most people won't recognise someone from here looking at pics they post. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
As I’ve just read on another’s profile; if you’re not putting anything of yourself out there, then why would you expect others to put themselves out there for you?
You need to put effort and thought into your profile and in your interactions with others. Whatever your reasons or excuses, people don’t really care ‘why’ you don’t have pictures, just that you don’t.
Also, if you can’t understand how this makes you look and if having joined during the government enforced monogamy/celibacy, you still can grasp why people aren’t interacting, then it makes you seem a bit entitled.
Part of fab for single guys is having to work out how it all works |
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What's wrong with people knowing you're bi? Also you don't have to put your face pics on your public gallery but torso pics, teasing pics.... Just something would be better than nothing.
There are other element of your profile that may out people off but as you haven't specifically asked for profile feedback I can't give it.
What is your messaging style like? Is it engaging? I find a lot of guys who hid behind picture less profiles to be fairly negative and dull which is why conversation often dries up.
You're right, even though the majority aren't meeting they could still chat but personally I'm not just gonna chat about sex all the time and give you wank fodder. You need to be stimulating. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ha, another why can’t I get a meet thread.
Mate, pandemic of course, but don’t expect it to get any easier potentially.
I’ve just done a quick experiment on your behalf (I know, I’m all heart, one of my biggest faults!!)
I searched for age 30-60 within 5 miles in my area. There were 11 women who had been on-line in the last week. There were 300 men who’d been on line in the last 24 hours.
Tough odds. |
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"Ha, another why can’t I get a meet thread.
Mate, pandemic of course, but don’t expect it to get any easier potentially.
I’ve just done a quick experiment on your behalf (I know, I’m all heart, one of my biggest faults!!)
I searched for age 30-60 within 5 miles in my area. There were 11 women who had been on-line in the last week. There were 300 men who’d been on line in the last 24 hours.
Tough odds. "
If he's looking for a bi meet I'd say there's good odds in finding another bi male in those 300 lol. But I suspect he wants to have cake and eat it as they say  looking for a couple with a bi male |
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"Ha, another why can’t I get a meet thread.
Mate, pandemic of course, but don’t expect it to get any easier potentially.
I’ve just done a quick experiment on your behalf (I know, I’m all heart, one of my biggest faults!!)
I searched for age 30-60 within 5 miles in my area. There were 11 women who had been on-line in the last week. There were 300 men who’d been on line in the last 24 hours.
Tough odds.
If he's looking for a bi meet I'd say there's good odds in finding another bi male in those 300 lol. But I suspect he wants to have cake and eat it as they say looking for a couple with a bi male"
Correction just looked at his profile he's looking for a couple who's husband is just a watcher lol why do you need to be bi for that OP? Sorry but as has been said your profile dose need a bit of work and pictures would help as this ain't blind date buddy  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The best thing to do is not give a fuck about it all.
Don't push to meet. Just piss about on the forums instead
I don't think I will ever get a meet from here but it's fun to chat to people |
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You joined nine months ago. Pandemic might play a role.
In general, make sure you have an enticing profile (text and pictures) and send messages based on the profiles you're messaging. People are less likely to be looking to talk to new people during a pandemic. |
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I doubt very much you have the most recognisable parts of your entire body known to man and the moment you put a photo up you'll have any friends or family that may also be on the site banging your door down wanting to lynch you for being bi.
"I know that big toe  go get him"
9 months ago
Pandemic has been 12 so far.
So apart from unrealistic expectations on your part, a lack of effort on your part, what else do you think could be having an impact?
Oh yeah, back to covid we go.
There's a far wider impact than "just" not being able to meet. Have you considered the mental impact?
People have been in a state of almost constant grief/frustration/despair for almost a year. 1-1 convos in private can seem like way too much pressure.
Go to organised socials and clubs.
Use fab as a way to keep in touch with those you connect with at the club and for keeping an eye on socials and events.
Fab as a website stands little chance of getting you laid and will serve to feed any insecurity and frustration you may have
Fab as a tool to keep in the loop on the other hand, brilliant. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I doubt very much you have the most recognisable parts of your entire body known to man and the moment you put a photo up you'll have any friends or family that may also be on the site banging your door down wanting to lynch you for being bi.
"I know that big toe go get him"
9 months ago
Pandemic has been 12 so far.
So apart from unrealistic expectations on your part, a lack of effort on your part, what else do you think could be having an impact?
Oh yeah, back to covid we go.
There's a far wider impact than "just" not being able to meet. Have you considered the mental impact?
People have been in a state of almost constant grief/frustration/despair for almost a year. 1-1 convos in private can seem like way too much pressure.
Go to organised socials and clubs.
Use fab as a way to keep in touch with those you connect with at the club and for keeping an eye on socials and events.
Fab as a website stands little chance of getting you laid and will serve to feed any insecurity and frustration you may have
Fab as a tool to keep in the loop on the other hand, brilliant."
Perfect |
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1 Pandemic. People have other priorities.
2. Thousands of single men to choose from. Survival of the fittest. Those who adapt to here and best provide what others want, will do best.
3. Many people prefer to search and find those they like, rather than sort through a huge inbox. Those who evolve to let others find what they want when searching and browsing profiles, will do best.
There's lots of time to adapt, before people get to meet again. If your motivation is there and you deliver the goods, you will fare better than not. The countdown starts now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Agree with what most are saying. Yes there’s a pandemic and yes there’s rules on meeting. But come on hundreds of people aren’t abiding to it lol
That aside, before this pandemic I too was struggling to find meets with women. I’ve had a few but most women read the message and don’t even say no thank you. Yet they go on about being polite and expect the same in their profile. What’s that all about? |
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"Agree with what most are saying. Yes there’s a pandemic and yes there’s rules on meeting. But come on hundreds of people aren’t abiding to it lol
That aside, before this pandemic I too was struggling to find meets with women. I’ve had a few but most women read the message and don’t even say no thank you. Yet they go on about being polite and expect the same in their profile. What’s that all about?"
"Come on, lots of people break the law." Yeah, sorry, no.
Read the site FAQ. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Agree with what most are saying. Yes there’s a pandemic and yes there’s rules on meeting. But come on hundreds of people aren’t abiding to it lol
That aside, before this pandemic I too was struggling to find meets with women. I’ve had a few but most women read the message and don’t even say no thank you. Yet they go on about being polite and expect the same in their profile. What’s that all about?
"Come on, lots of people break the law." Yeah, sorry, no.
Read the site FAQ."
Sorry _naswingdress but what do you mean? |
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"Agree with what most are saying. Yes there’s a pandemic and yes there’s rules on meeting. But come on hundreds of people aren’t abiding to it lol
That aside, before this pandemic I too was struggling to find meets with women. I’ve had a few but most women read the message and don’t even say no thank you. Yet they go on about being polite and expect the same in their profile. What’s that all about?
"Come on, lots of people break the law." Yeah, sorry, no.
Read the site FAQ.
Sorry _naswingdress but what do you mean?"
You say hundreds of people are meeting despite the rules of the pandemic. These rules are the law. It is against the law to be meeting in this context at the moment.
So, "come on, other people are breaking the law". I think you're implying "well why can't I?" Because it's illegal 
The site FAQ says that delete without reply means no thank you (and my predictive text types that for me, lol). It is the norm here that deletion should be treated as such. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Agree with what most are saying. Yes there’s a pandemic and yes there’s rules on meeting. But come on hundreds of people aren’t abiding to it lol
That aside, before this pandemic I too was struggling to find meets with women. I’ve had a few but most women read the message and don’t even say no thank you. Yet they go on about being polite and expect the same in their profile. What’s that all about?
"Come on, lots of people break the law." Yeah, sorry, no.
Read the site FAQ.
Sorry _naswingdress but what do you mean?
You say hundreds of people are meeting despite the rules of the pandemic. These rules are the law. It is against the law to be meeting in this context at the moment.
So, "come on, other people are breaking the law". I think you're implying "well why can't I?" Because it's illegal
The site FAQ says that delete without reply means no thank you (and my predictive text types that for me, lol). It is the norm here that deletion should be treated as such."
Sorry you misunderstood I’m not implying why can’t I if others are doing it. I’m just saying they are that’s all. As for the no replies I get and understand that, if mine get read without reply I take it as a no. I’m just saying that some women have on their profiles ( yes I read before contacting ), that they are polite and all that and expect the same in return. Yet half don’t reply and a little no thank you I thought was a form of politeness. I know no reply means no I’m just saying |
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"Agree with what most are saying. Yes there’s a pandemic and yes there’s rules on meeting. But come on hundreds of people aren’t abiding to it lol
That aside, before this pandemic I too was struggling to find meets with women. I’ve had a few but most women read the message and don’t even say no thank you. Yet they go on about being polite and expect the same in their profile. What’s that all about?
"Come on, lots of people break the law." Yeah, sorry, no.
Read the site FAQ.
Sorry _naswingdress but what do you mean?
You say hundreds of people are meeting despite the rules of the pandemic. These rules are the law. It is against the law to be meeting in this context at the moment.
So, "come on, other people are breaking the law". I think you're implying "well why can't I?" Because it's illegal
The site FAQ says that delete without reply means no thank you (and my predictive text types that for me, lol). It is the norm here that deletion should be treated as such.
Sorry you misunderstood I’m not implying why can’t I if others are doing it. I’m just saying they are that’s all. As for the no replies I get and understand that, if mine get read without reply I take it as a no. I’m just saying that some women have on their profiles ( yes I read before contacting ), that they are polite and all that and expect the same in return. Yet half don’t reply and a little no thank you I thought was a form of politeness. I know no reply means no I’m just saying"
As many as half reply? You're doing well.
It's polite to learn the norms of the place you're in. In this context, you cannot expect a reply. That's just the way it is, no matter how many thousands of people before and after you are just saying. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Agree with what most are saying. Yes there’s a pandemic and yes there’s rules on meeting. But come on hundreds of people aren’t abiding to it lol
That aside, before this pandemic I too was struggling to find meets with women. I’ve had a few but most women read the message and don’t even say no thank you. Yet they go on about being polite and expect the same in their profile. What’s that all about?
"Come on, lots of people break the law." Yeah, sorry, no.
Read the site FAQ.
Sorry _naswingdress but what do you mean?
You say hundreds of people are meeting despite the rules of the pandemic. These rules are the law. It is against the law to be meeting in this context at the moment.
So, "come on, other people are breaking the law". I think you're implying "well why can't I?" Because it's illegal
The site FAQ says that delete without reply means no thank you (and my predictive text types that for me, lol). It is the norm here that deletion should be treated as such.
Sorry you misunderstood I’m not implying why can’t I if others are doing it. I’m just saying they are that’s all. As for the no replies I get and understand that, if mine get read without reply I take it as a no. I’m just saying that some women have on their profiles ( yes I read before contacting ), that they are polite and all that and expect the same in return. Yet half don’t reply and a little no thank you I thought was a form of politeness. I know no reply means no I’m just saying
As many as half reply? You're doing well.
It's polite to learn the norms of the place you're in. In this context, you cannot expect a reply. That's just the way it is, no matter how many thousands of people before and after you are just saying."
Half is optimistic lol more a figure of speech. I’d say a handful reply, without counting. But I totally get what you’re saying it’s just a little frustrating. However it is what it is I mean it is a site for fun after all. |
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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago
Shangri-la |
"Agree with what most are saying. Yes there’s a pandemic and yes there’s rules on meeting. But come on hundreds of people aren’t abiding to it lol
That aside, before this pandemic I too was struggling to find meets with women. I’ve had a few but most women read the message and don’t even say no thank you. Yet they go on about being polite and expect the same in their profile. What’s that all about?
"Come on, lots of people break the law." Yeah, sorry, no.
Read the site FAQ.
Sorry _naswingdress but what do you mean?
You say hundreds of people are meeting despite the rules of the pandemic. These rules are the law. It is against the law to be meeting in this context at the moment.
So, "come on, other people are breaking the law". I think you're implying "well why can't I?" Because it's illegal
The site FAQ says that delete without reply means no thank you (and my predictive text types that for me, lol). It is the norm here that deletion should be treated as such.
Sorry you misunderstood I’m not implying why can’t I if others are doing it. I’m just saying they are that’s all. As for the no replies I get and understand that, if mine get read without reply I take it as a no. I’m just saying that some women have on their profiles ( yes I read before contacting ), that they are polite and all that and expect the same in return. Yet half don’t reply and a little no thank you I thought was a form of politeness. I know no reply means no I’m just saying"
I just logged on for the first time today, I currently have an inbox with 38 unread messages (which is nothing compared to others on here because I keep my filters pretty tight). I can guarantee that hardly any of the sender's will have bothered to read my profile. If I can find the energy to do so, I will check out the profiles of the sender's, if any of the profiles stand out & capture my interest then I will read the message that person sent & possibly reply, even just to say no thanks. If someone hasn't put any effort into their profile I'm unlikely to even read their message to be honest. I just don't have the time or energy to reply to every message, especially when a no thanks is likely to be met with a "why not?" or abuse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Agree with what most are saying. Yes there’s a pandemic and yes there’s rules on meeting. But come on hundreds of people aren’t abiding to it lol
That aside, before this pandemic I too was struggling to find meets with women. I’ve had a few but most women read the message and don’t even say no thank you. Yet they go on about being polite and expect the same in their profile. What’s that all about?
"Come on, lots of people break the law." Yeah, sorry, no.
Read the site FAQ.
Sorry _naswingdress but what do you mean?
You say hundreds of people are meeting despite the rules of the pandemic. These rules are the law. It is against the law to be meeting in this context at the moment.
So, "come on, other people are breaking the law". I think you're implying "well why can't I?" Because it's illegal
The site FAQ says that delete without reply means no thank you (and my predictive text types that for me, lol). It is the norm here that deletion should be treated as such.
Sorry you misunderstood I’m not implying why can’t I if others are doing it. I’m just saying they are that’s all. As for the no replies I get and understand that, if mine get read without reply I take it as a no. I’m just saying that some women have on their profiles ( yes I read before contacting ), that they are polite and all that and expect the same in return. Yet half don’t reply and a little no thank you I thought was a form of politeness. I know no reply means no I’m just saying
As many as half reply? You're doing well.
It's polite to learn the norms of the place you're in. In this context, you cannot expect a reply. That's just the way it is, no matter how many thousands of people before and after you are just saying.
Half is optimistic lol more a figure of speech. I’d say a handful reply, without counting. But I totally get what you’re saying it’s just a little frustrating. However it is what it is I mean it is a site for fun after all."
Yes its a site for 'fun'
Problem is alot of men think that means instant fun. No effort on their part, and that the ladies on here are here for their pleasure
When i suits them |
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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago
Shangri-la |
I used to politely reply to all. If I remarked on their lack of profile text I'd often get a response with "what do you want to know?", like Im going to play 20 questions with every blank profile that messages |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Agree with what most are saying. Yes there’s a pandemic and yes there’s rules on meeting. But come on hundreds of people aren’t abiding to it lol
That aside, before this pandemic I too was struggling to find meets with women. I’ve had a few but most women read the message and don’t even say no thank you. Yet they go on about being polite and expect the same in their profile. What’s that all about?
"Come on, lots of people break the law." Yeah, sorry, no.
Read the site FAQ.
Sorry _naswingdress but what do you mean?
You say hundreds of people are meeting despite the rules of the pandemic. These rules are the law. It is against the law to be meeting in this context at the moment.
So, "come on, other people are breaking the law". I think you're implying "well why can't I?" Because it's illegal
The site FAQ says that delete without reply means no thank you (and my predictive text types that for me, lol). It is the norm here that deletion should be treated as such.
Sorry you misunderstood I’m not implying why can’t I if others are doing it. I’m just saying they are that’s all. As for the no replies I get and understand that, if mine get read without reply I take it as a no. I’m just saying that some women have on their profiles ( yes I read before contacting ), that they are polite and all that and expect the same in return. Yet half don’t reply and a little no thank you I thought was a form of politeness. I know no reply means no I’m just saying
As many as half reply? You're doing well.
It's polite to learn the norms of the place you're in. In this context, you cannot expect a reply. That's just the way it is, no matter how many thousands of people before and after you are just saying.
Half is optimistic lol more a figure of speech. I’d say a handful reply, without counting. But I totally get what you’re saying it’s just a little frustrating. However it is what it is I mean it is a site for fun after all.
Yes its a site for 'fun'
Problem is alot of men think that means instant fun. No effort on their part, and that the ladies on here are here for their pleasure
When i suits them"
That is a fair point. Admittedly men are known for this lol. I tend to look out for the statuses before contacting |
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" it is a site for fun after all."
Correct.
That includes my fun.
You know what's not fun? Back and forth with people I'm not interested in which often escalates into whining, insults, or abuse.
I've got better things to do with my time. Particularly when it comes from me being polite in the first place. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I doubt very much you have the most recognisable parts of your entire body known to man and the moment you put a photo up you'll have any friends or family that may also be on the site banging your door down wanting to lynch you for being bi.
"I know that big toe go get him"
9 months ago
Pandemic has been 12 so far.
So apart from unrealistic expectations on your part, a lack of effort on your part, what else do you think could be having an impact?
Oh yeah, back to covid we go.
There's a far wider impact than "just" not being able to meet. Have you considered the mental impact?
People have been in a state of almost constant grief/frustration/despair for almost a year. 1-1 convos in private can seem like way too much pressure.
Go to organised socials and clubs.
Use fab as a way to keep in touch with those you connect with at the club and for keeping an eye on socials and events.
Fab as a website stands little chance of getting you laid and will serve to feed any insecurity and frustration you may have
Fab as a tool to keep in the loop on the other hand, brilliant."
Saved me a lot of typing there.
This basically |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" it is a site for fun after all.
Correct.
That includes my fun.
You know what's not fun? Back and forth with people I'm not interested in which often escalates into whining, insults, or abuse.
I've got better things to do with my time. Particularly when it comes from me being polite in the first place."
Totally agree with you. If they’re not interested move on. The next person might be |
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" it is a site for fun after all.
Correct.
That includes my fun.
You know what's not fun? Back and forth with people I'm not interested in which often escalates into whining, insults, or abuse.
I've got better things to do with my time. Particularly when it comes from me being polite in the first place.
Totally agree with you. If they’re not interested move on. The next person might be"
I've described my experience with "just being polite".
It's why I don't do it anymore. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" it is a site for fun after all.
Correct.
That includes my fun.
You know what's not fun? Back and forth with people I'm not interested in which often escalates into whining, insults, or abuse.
I've got better things to do with my time. Particularly when it comes from me being polite in the first place.
Totally agree with you. If they’re not interested move on. The next person might be
I've described my experience with "just being polite".
It's why I don't do it anymore."
Understand where you’re coming from |
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A lot of people don’t like face pics in the public bit including me but I still have pics that give anyone looking an idea of my body type and shape so they can get a sense of me and what I’m like and have lots of info about me in the text. You don’t need to show your face op just a bit about what someone may get if they chat with you. Give it a go and see if it helps you have nothing to lose really xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Well I mean its against the rules to meet at the moment and in light of this alot of people are only talking and catching up with people they know from here and not starting new conversations. Add to that the fact your profile isn't exactly inspiring and your chances narrow even further and a lot of people have filters to not show or block messages from profiles with no public pictures and your left with a pretty small pool which does not help you, even amazing profiles struggle to find meets as men outnumber woman by such a huge amount |
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