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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Anyone else going through a relationship break-up at the moment? I'm at the early stages of a marital breakdown after being together 18 years. It's been coming a long time but the wheels are in motion now.
My mum died at Christmas after nursing her at home through oesophageal cancer and now I'm going through this and wish she was here with me through this.
Be good to hear from anyone going through anything atm. I can't talk about sex or swinging atm and thats all my messages are, I know that's what this place is and I've taken full advantage of that the 4 years I have been here, but I'd love a bit of emotional support atm and can support anyone else going through something as well.
Hugs if you are  my inbox is open  xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm coming to the end of a very acrimonious divorce process. Luke "
Ah see after tonight I'm thinking mine might be the same, he is very volatile over emotional things  Hope you are ok, my inbox is open xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm coming to the end of a very acrimonious divorce process. Luke
Ah see after tonight I'm thinking mine might be the same, he is very volatile over emotional things Hope you are ok, my inbox is open xxx "
We all like to think we can keep things 'amicable' don't we? It didn't stay that way for long for me. I still have deep down resentment 10 years later. Its a shit old process.
Just get through it the best way you can x
Good luck xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm coming to the end of therapy due to a relationship that was ended for me.Im scared in one way not to have my therapy advice.Then I'm also happy I'm stronger and partly fixed better than when I started my therapy.Just like the relationship I was devastated it was over even after all he did to me I guess I was in that trap of being with him.Now I couldn't be more happy I'm not with him x |
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By *manaWoman
over a year ago
Basingstoke |
I've been there, he destroyed me. Absolutely and totally destroyed me.
It's taken 6 years but I'm out the other side. If you need an ear just message. That goes for anyone who may need support xx |
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I'm unable to message you cos of your restrictions. But I've been there.
I'm now out the other side. He's engaged to a lovely woman. And we are friends. Not close, day to day friends. But if either of us needed to dispose of a dead body - I know he'd be there with a shovel. As would I for him!
It's a ridiculously unlikely scenario. But it's one born of such a long term relationship. It takes time and work to salvage that, but it's worth it.
Unless he was violent. In which case cut him loose and never look back x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Breaking up with someone it's so difficult in some circumstances I split up years ago and sometimes I still think what if. If it wasn't meant to be it wasn't meant to be and you will will be fine you just gotta stay positive and think the grass is greener elsewhere |
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I’m separating from my fella he moves out next week. We’ve been together 4 years and love each other but an old flame who he lived with 27 years ago suddenly got in touch and that’s it he’s besotted again and goodbye to me. We split up beginning of feb but he stayed living with me waiting for his house purchase to go through. Life is rubbish sometimes and doesn’t half throw you a curve ball. Sending you lots of love hun, we can do this xxxxxxxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’m separating from my fella he moves out next week. We’ve been together 4 years and love each other but an old flame who he lived with 27 years ago suddenly got in touch and that’s it he’s besotted again and goodbye to me. We split up beginning of feb but he stayed living with me waiting for his house purchase to go through. Life is rubbish sometimes and doesn’t half throw you a curve ball. Sending you lots of love hun, we can do this xxxxxxxx"
Ah that sucks  you are amazing, his loss! Everything happens for a reason xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive just had a break up with my best friend. We were fwb and stuff just got soo complicated. My grandad passed at Christmas and the whole situation just feels complex. We work together and it seems all eyes think im a bad guy |
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"I’m separating from my fella he moves out next week. We’ve been together 4 years and love each other but an old flame who he lived with 27 years ago suddenly got in touch and that’s it he’s besotted again and goodbye to me. We split up beginning of feb but he stayed living with me waiting for his house purchase to go through. Life is rubbish sometimes and doesn’t half throw you a curve ball. Sending you lots of love hun, we can do this xxxxxxxx
Ah that sucks you are amazing, his loss! Everything happens for a reason xxx "
Thank you xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone else going through a relationship break-up at the moment? I'm at the early stages of a marital breakdown after being together 18 years. It's been coming a long time but the wheels are in motion now.
My mum died at Christmas after nursing her at home through oesophageal cancer and now I'm going through this and wish she was here with me through this.
Be good to hear from anyone going through anything atm. I can't talk about sex or swinging atm and thats all my messages are, I know that's what this place is and I've taken full advantage of that the 4 years I have been here, but I'd love a bit of emotional support atm and can support anyone else going through something as well.
Hugs if you are my inbox is open xxx"
If you need to talk have an ear for you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes. I write this in tears. I don't know what to do. He's in the loft and the 10 year old daughter comes in my bed. We haven't had any physical contact in over a month. I don't know what to do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes. I write this in tears. I don't know what to do. He's in the loft and the 10 year old daughter comes in my bed. We haven't had any physical contact in over a month. I don't know what to do "
I feel for you and your child. Must be horrible. But you got to just keep your head up and do what your heart tells you to do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes. I write this in tears. I don't know what to do. He's in the loft and the 10 year old daughter comes in my bed. We haven't had any physical contact in over a month. I don't know what to do
I feel for you and your child. Must be horrible. But you got to just keep your head up and do what your heart tells you to do "
He refuses to tell me what is going on and leaves me wondering what is going on. My girls are the only thing that keep me going.
It's been so long now, I think we have passed the point of no return.
Obviously I know he has access to these too. Maybe he might realise how much it hurts l |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes. I write this in tears. I don't know what to do. He's in the loft and the 10 year old daughter comes in my bed. We haven't had any physical contact in over a month. I don't know what to do
I feel for you and your child. Must be horrible. But you got to just keep your head up and do what your heart tells you to do
He refuses to tell me what is going on and leaves me wondering what is going on. My girls are the only thing that keep me going.
It's been so long now, I think we have passed the point of no return.
Obviously I know he has access to these too. Maybe he might realise how much it hurts l"
Its frustrating when men dont speak about whats going on in there heads. Maybe get a mutual friend to talk to him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes. I write this in tears. I don't know what to do. He's in the loft and the 10 year old daughter comes in my bed. We haven't had any physical contact in over a month. I don't know what to do "
Feel for you so much x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes. I write this in tears. I don't know what to do. He's in the loft and the 10 year old daughter comes in my bed. We haven't had any physical contact in over a month. I don't know what to do
I feel for you and your child. Must be horrible. But you got to just keep your head up and do what your heart tells you to do
He refuses to tell me what is going on and leaves me wondering what is going on. My girls are the only thing that keep me going.
It's been so long now, I think we have passed the point of no return.
Obviously I know he has access to these too. Maybe he might realise how much it hurts l"
Lack of communication kills relationships. I think that's partly responsible for my break up. I reckon its that caveman thing. Men retreat back to the cave at the times when we need them to help us fix things. I hope you two can sort this out. I know your pain. I'm still here years and years after feeling the same pain as you and I feel largely like its been a waste of my life xx sending a big hug xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The worst thing is a breakup especially when there are kids involved because you think to yourself what can you do to actually get that cheeky cheeky if that makes sense |
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By *uscle88Man
over a year ago
Potters Bar |
"The worst thing is a breakup especially when there are kids involved because you think to yourself what can you do to actually get that cheeky cheeky if that makes sense"
Nah that doesn’t make sense. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The worst thing is a breakup especially when there are kids involved because you think to yourself what can you do to actually get that cheeky cheeky if that makes sense"
Mmm bit list there scratching my head a wee bit |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sometimes people stay together for the kids even though there is no love between the couple whats peoples thought on this?"
I have done that this whole time.
I don't think its a good thing to do.
My mum and Dad were together 53 years. I'd say the majority of those were unhappy, but they loved eachother deeply, just they had tough times. Thats the thing though if you are unhappy but you still love eachother you should stay together whether there is kids or not and work on it.
If you don't love eachother and you have kids that teaches your children that that is what a marriage/relationship looks like.
If there's love work on it ... if there isn't ... go ...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes people stay together for the kids even though there is no love between the couple whats peoples thought on this?"
Since we are products if our environment and we learn our belief systems, from what we are exposed to what we see hear experience, I would personally say, that staying in a love less relationship fir the kids, would do more damage than separation woukd |
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"Sometimes people stay together for the kids even though there is no love between the couple whats peoples thought on this?
I have done that this whole time.
I don't think its a good thing to do.
My mum and Dad were together 53 years. I'd say the majority of those were unhappy, but they loved eachother deeply, just they had tough times. Thats the thing though if you are unhappy but you still love eachother you should stay together whether there is kids or not and work on it.
If you don't love eachother and you have kids that teaches your children that that is what a marriage/relationship looks like.
If there's love work on it ... if there isn't ... go ... "
Yes I agree shouldn't be together for the sake of the kids split and parents still get to see the kids and non of this custody issues or Child maintenance if young just share the responsibility 50/50. Hugs from me hope everything works out for you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can’t message you, but I’ve been through it, it was really hard, and still is at times (we separated 17 months ago), but I look back and realised how awful it was, and how much it was affecting me.
I’ve never regretted it for a second, I felt like I was in quicksand and slowly drowning, and although the work I’ve had to do to pull myself out of it has been really tough, it’s been worth it.
Sending hugs |
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Op, only advice I can give is to be positive and find other positive people to be around.
Time will help.
5 year separation and just finalised a 2 year nasty divorce and went through hell.
Becky was my rock through the divorce.
There is life out the other side.
Take care.
J |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Op. Here for you.
I’m moving out the martial home after being married 30 years this year. We did split up 5 years ago snd got back together but this time it’s different.
My mum passed away in April 19 with COPD. I do want to talk to her and for her to tell me it will be ok.
Happy to chat on the phone if you want xx |
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So sorry & sad to hear of people's pain & distress. Are some relationships worth saving? I guess so but I also guess most of us know when it's really not.
The only advice I can give is, if you think it is, don't hold on hoping it'll turn right. I did and he broke me - day after day, year after year. I was sh*t on the floor by the time he finished with me. I fooled myself into thinking it was my fault though in hindsight that was him making me think that.
I finally left because I started to see how it was affecting my kids - children don't deserve to be victims of our relationships. You don't deserve to be one either.
The grass was certainly greener for me.
I moved on, damaged & torn for certain, but with help & support & a man who loves & cherishes me, I'm now in a good place.
I hope all of you find your safe place too x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone else going through a relationship break-up at the moment? I'm at the early stages of a marital breakdown after being together 18 years. It's been coming a long time but the wheels are in motion now.
My mum died at Christmas after nursing her at home through oesophageal cancer and now I'm going through this and wish she was here with me through this.
Be good to hear from anyone going through anything atm. I can't talk about sex or swinging atm and thats all my messages are, I know that's what this place is and I've taken full advantage of that the 4 years I have been here, but I'd love a bit of emotional support atm and can support anyone else going through something as well.
Hugs if you are my inbox is open xxx"
I can’t inbox you |
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"
He refuses to tell me what is going on and leaves me wondering what is going on. My girls are the only thing that keep me going.
It's been so long now, I think we have passed the point of no return.
Obviously I know he has access to these too. Maybe he might realise how much it hurts l"
I found Relate really helpful in a similar situation. I'm not sure how they are operating with Covid restrictions though. They gave me the strength to leave! It was eye opening to have someone else agree that my feelings were valid; that they noticed he didn't listen to me when I talked about how I felt; that he didn't communicate his feelings etc
If your partner won't go then you can go on your own. If you can't afford it, message me. I'll pay for a couple of sessions. You need to hear someone else, who's not involved, give their input and support. Cos what you're going through now is unsustainable and horribly cruel.
Sending hugs x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m still with my wife, out of habit more than anything else. We get along as friends, love each other a lot, but haven’t had any sexual play since November,
She just doesn’t have those needs any more. Whereas I do!
If we broke up tomorrow I wouldn’t be upset and I don’t think she would either so that tells me what I need to know really |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone else going through a relationship break-up at the moment? I'm at the early stages of a marital breakdown after being together 18 years. It's been coming a long time but the wheels are in motion now.
My mum died at Christmas after nursing her at home through oesophageal cancer and now I'm going through this and wish she was here with me through this.
Be good to hear from anyone going through anything atm. I can't talk about sex or swinging atm and thats all my messages are, I know that's what this place is and I've taken full advantage of that the 4 years I have been here, but I'd love a bit of emotional support atm and can support anyone else going through something as well.
Hugs if you are my inbox is open xxx"
Hi I’ve seen you on and off this site for years Lucy.
Was the swinging something for you or your partner?
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