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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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As copied off facebook  .
Even though he only had one tattoo I yearned for him to fill those lonely hours between Jeremy Kyle and Loose Women". "As he approached with those pasty white arms hanging out of his Gola vest, his smile told me it was benefit day and I knew my velour tracksuit would be hanging off the lamp shade tonight.""As I stood in line at the Job Centre thinking of reasons I couldn't work, a sweet smell drifted past my pig like nostrils. It was a mixture of , B.O and Lynx Africa. I turned around and there was Dwayne. Our eyes met and he was soon lifting me onto the wheelie bins behind the Iceland. He had tied up his Staffy to block the ally way so we wouldn't be disturbed. There was a tramp watching but it just added to the mystery. I knew it was love and my life would never be the same.
"It was Dwayne's birthday. I was preparing his special tea of Findus Crispy Pancakes and Pot Noodle. I would let him take me any way he wanted tonight. His favourite position was what he called The Dogs of War. Where he took me from behind and played Call of Duty at the same time." "Our 6 week anniversary was approaching. This would be my longest relationship without becoming pregnant. ...
There was only one way to complete Dwaynes birthday celebrations, I scraped the dog shit from the bottom of the bath and tried my hardest to turn the corroding tap. As the slightly discoloured water trickled from the limescale covered spout I hurried down stairs to find a bottle of his favourite bubbly. I lit some “candles” around the bath and slowely poured the white lightening into a couple of glasses acquired from the pub down the road. I turned my stolen i-phone onto speaker and slowely removed my off white bra and knickers, I could hear Dwayne coming in the door so started up “our song.” I could hear him heading to the kitchen and openin the fridge, “wheres my lightnin” he shouted storming upstairs as I wallowed whale like in the bath waiting for him.
I was half way through my rendition of happy birthday as Dwayne joined me in the bath, not the conventional way but he’d had a few birthday drinks with his mates and tripped on my bra as he reached for the glass of white lightening next to my head. We lay together until the water started ton warm up at which point I realised Dwayne had actually wet himself. I struggled from underneath him and pulled thee clump of hair out that was stopping the water from exiting the bath. I took a towell and rubbed myself down before heading to the bed where tyson lay snarling at one of his toys.
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