FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Proving your legitimacy.....
Proving your legitimacy.....
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So after a rather bizarre albeit polite yet firm message asking me to "Prove" I'm a genuinely 100% single man I got to wondering just HOW one goes about this.
Message was very insistent that the couple were very interested in a post lockdown meeting for social with more if everyone clicked. (No problem there then) Andthen they drop the bomb... All I have to do now is PROVE I'm a genuinely single man. No meet if I can't.
So i have to wonder.... Just how DOES a single man prove this to couples and single women??
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"Take them on a virtual tour of your soft furnishings, fridge and bathroom  "
Hmmmm, my bathroom is rather uninteresting and there's very little in my fridge unless it involves yoghurt fruit and small people snacks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Take them on a virtual tour of your soft furnishings, fridge and bathroom
Hmmmm, my bathroom is rather uninteresting and there's very little in my fridge unless it involves yoghurt fruit and small people snacks "
Pants and socks and stuff on the floor next to the unmade bed. And not a throw cushion to be seen. |
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As a sgl fem, I was asked a couple of times to take a photo with a very specific thing in my hand, or dressed in a certain way with something not normally associated with that style of outfit, to prove it was me.
It worked 
C |
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"Send them your wedding pictures...  
I'm kidding of course. Did they also offer to prove they're a real couple or would that offend them I wonder?...
LvM"
Hmmm, never really thought to ask that. It struck me as a rather clever thing to do because just how DOES one prove this.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If they don't believe you and want you to prove it then there is a good chance that they never will and come up with 20 other things for you to do before then refusing to meet you.
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Ask them what proof they require. It's up to you whether you feel willing or able to supply it.
We never ask for proof, we always meet socially first but before that ask if they're single, if they say they are we go with it. Often the request to meet in some out of the way location, nervous glances at the door jumping when they receive a text and the indent from a hurriedly removed wedding ring raises our suspicions |
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"If they don't believe you and want you to prove it then there is a good chance that they never will and come up with 20 other things for you to do before then refusing to meet you.
"
Its actually rathe ingenious because just how DO we prove this.
Phone call... "lady" not in the room.
Skype/video call.... "lady" not in the room"
Public meeting "lady" not available.
All these are classic signs of married men playing away.
Its an absolutely brilliant get out clause because we can't 100% prove any of this. |
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"For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible.
 "
How wonderfully diplomatica of you there Posh.
And how would YOU go about proving this conundrum should you have been blessed with the gift of being a single man?? |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible.
How wonderfully diplomatica of you there Posh.
And how would YOU go about proving this conundrum should you have been blessed with the gift of being a single man?? "
Me? I wouldn't.... because I'd be too busy playing with my willy 
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"For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible.
How wonderfully diplomatica of you there Posh.
And how would YOU go about proving this conundrum should you have been blessed with the gift of being a single man??
Me? I wouldn't.... because I'd be too busy playing with my willy
"
Obviously 
Shameless you are.. Shameless!! |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible.
How wonderfully diplomatica of you there Posh.
And how would YOU go about proving this conundrum should you have been blessed with the gift of being a single man??
Me? I wouldn't.... because I'd be too busy playing with my willy
Obviously
Shameless you are.. Shameless!! "
If I think of a better answer I'll let you know. But at least I'm honest |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you had to prove that and they couldn’t tell from your profile even with the multiple verifications then I’d ask them what more do you need to do but like someone else commented ...
“If they don't believe you and want you to prove it then there is a good chance that they never will and come up with 20 other things for you to do before then refusing to meet you.” |
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Well I'd start at the start.
I'd have started with a single man profile instead of piggybacking off the couples one to keep the veris.
Of course people are gonna read that you're not actually single coz that's what it says what 23 times?
If I had to "prove" I'm single... time normally gives the game away. 2 years and a pandemic is a decent ti_eline to out the truth. |
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"Well I'd start at the start.
I'd have started with a single man profile instead of piggybacking off the couples one to keep the veris.
Of course people are gonna read that you're not actually single coz that's what it says what 23 times?
Well thank you for this bit... And I "piggybacked" off a couple profile to keep in touch with friends "we" made overba 5 year period, the 8 page bio on the profile sort of gives it away that I'm single but in this instance I think it's actually quite ingenious to ask to "prove", your single, it's a rather difficult task I think. But.... Perseverance may prevail... We shall see.
If I had to "prove" I'm single... time normally gives the game away. 2 years and a pandemic is a decent ti_eline to out the truth."
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"Well I'd start at the start.
I'd have started with a single man profile instead of piggybacking off the couples one to keep the veris.
Of course people are gonna read that you're not actually single coz that's what it says what 23 times?
Well thank you for this bit... And I "piggybacked" off a couple profile to keep in touch with friends "we" made overba 5 year period, the 8 page bio on the profile sort of gives it away that I'm single but in this instance I think it's actually quite ingenious to ask to "prove", your single, it's a rather difficult task I think. But.... Perseverance may prevail... We shall see.
If I had to "prove" I'm single... time normally gives the game away. 2 years and a pandemic is a decent ti_eline to out the truth."
Anyone can say anything, and invariably do. I know all too well. People say what they think you want to hear to fit their agenda.
I'm simply pointing out that it's 23 people's words against 1 when you look at it with an objective eye.
The other thing I would have in the back of my mind, as a single woman who's fallen foul of the not really single bloke, is this, if the relationship was REALLY over, like totally, why wouldn't you start a clean slate with a fresh profile. It's like you've not quite let go, like there's something you're clinging to.
This could be totally wrong but, in a world of liars and cheats, in a world where people paint a picture to suit their own narrative at that particular time, it's human nature to follow the clues, whether the person leaving the clues and impressions can see them or not.
If it is just friends you're holding onto to keep in touch with then that's your choice, but it really doesn't take long to drop em a message and inform them you're starting a new profile and will be using that one to keep in touch.
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
You can't prove it and they can't expect you to .
If they have chatted to you for a while then surely they must have an idea themselves.You can usually tell if someone is in a relationship and most tell you anyhow at some point if you chat for any length of time .
I don't get the whole making people do this or that in order to meet someone.I wouldn't jump through hoops to meet anyone on here and anyone who would expect me to would be told to forget it . |
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"Well I'd start at the start.
I'd have started with a single man profile instead of piggybacking off the couples one to keep the veris.
Of course people are gonna read that you're not actually single coz that's what it says what 23 times?
Well thank you for this bit... And I "piggybacked" off a couple profile to keep in touch with friends "we" made overba 5 year period, the 8 page bio on the profile sort of gives it away that I'm single but in this instance I think it's actually quite ingenious to ask to "prove", your single, it's a rather difficult task I think. But.... Perseverance may prevail... We shall see.
If I had to "prove" I'm single... time normally gives the game away. 2 years and a pandemic is a decent ti_eline to out the truth.
Anyone can say anything, and invariably do. I know all too well. People say what they think you want to hear to fit their agenda.
I'm simply pointing out that it's 23 people's words against 1 when you look at it with an objective eye.
The other thing I would have in the back of my mind, as a single woman who's fallen foul of the not really single bloke, is this, if the relationship was REALLY over, like totally, why wouldn't you start a clean slate with a fresh profile. It's like you've not quite let go, like there's something you're clinging to.
This could be totally wrong but, in a world of liars and cheats, in a world where people paint a picture to suit their own narrative at that particular time, it's human nature to follow the clues, whether the person leaving the clues and impressions can see them or not.
If it is just friends you're holding onto to keep in touch with then that's your choice, but it really doesn't take long to drop em a message and inform them you're starting a new profile and will be using that one to keep in touch.
"
This is actually a rather good piece of advice, it's not really where I was going with it but undoubtedly the most level answer, it's a good insight to how other people see it I guess. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Away for Christmas |
It's not about how you go about proving it, it's more about what will they accept as proof.
You could provide a video of the head of some intelligence agency confirming you are in fact single after a thorough investigation, but would they accept that? I'm sure some people out there wouldn't. It's all a conspiracy just to get them in to bed.
Realistically though, nothing you can provide as proof for being single is free from potentially being faked. It all depends on how trusting and open they are to the proof. |
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Proof of not being married or not having a long term partner?
If you married overseas, it will be a tougher thing to discover. Otherwise, UK marriages are easier to track. You'd potentially have to confirm HMRC data too.
Their idea of what constitutes a single man is the best starting point and how they expect guys to prove it. You can laugh, comply or block.
It's a bit silly proving before meeting a long way in the future, as you could shack up before then. They may just be enjoying the assumed power |
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Show them a pic and say ......... Would YOU marry this ???
Get your mum to phone them.
Show them your birth certificate and all the marriages in any register for the past 2 or 3 decades.
Say ...... Do I sound henpecked luv ?
Describe an aching three year old lob on ......
Write a set of instructions on how to make a bed including changing a king size duvet cover.
Share the receipts you have for the past ten years of takeaway ....
Reveal the contents of your bin .......
Hire a private detective for them
TELL THEM THE ONUS IN ON THEM TO FIND OUT.
Definitely the last one. Tell them they make the decisions for themselves. There is nothing for you to prove. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's impossible to prove! I hate people who ask me to prove something to them. I don't owe them anything. I know it's harder for single guys but you just have to follow your gut feeling. If they're that picky to organise a social, what are they like for a meet? Either ignore them or ask them to prove they are a real couple like someone else has said on here. |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
Its not impossible, its just down to how invasive do you allow them to be.
However as they are asking for proof, I would ask them what they are looking for instead of trying to second guess. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Send them your wedding pictures...
I'm kidding of course. Did they also offer to prove they're a real couple or would that offend them I wonder?...
LvM
Hmmm, never really thought to ask that. It struck me as a rather clever thing to do because just how DOES one prove this.... "
I can't think of any way you can prove you are single, beyond doubt. Can you accommodate ? If so, invite them to yours for a social ? |
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"As a sgl fem, I was asked a couple of times to take a photo with a very specific thing in my hand, or dressed in a certain way with something not normally associated with that style of outfit, to prove it was me.
It worked
C"
Its a different story with women though as we get alot of guys pretending to be women on here, so that pic is just to prove youre a woman |
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"You can't prove it and they can't expect you to .
If they have chatted to you for a while then surely they must have an idea themselves.You can usually tell if someone is in a relationship and most tell you anyhow at some point if you chat for any length of time .
I don't get the whole making people do this or that in order to meet someone.I wouldn't jump through hoops to meet anyone on here and anyone who would expect me to would be told to forget it ."
Couldnt agree more but guys get a harder time on here. Ive been asked to jump through hoops before too but i just wont do it as the person asking clearly is never going to meet because theyre putting all these barriers up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If they don't believe you and want you to prove it then there is a good chance that they never will and come up with 20 other things for you to do before then refusing to meet you.
Its actually rathe ingenious because just how DO we prove this.
Phone call... "lady" not in the room.
Skype/video call.... "lady" not in the room"
Public meeting "lady" not available.
All these are classic signs of married men playing away.
Its an absolutely brilliant get out clause because we can't 100% prove any of this. "
but what if shes on the night shift ... ive spotted that candle on the mantlepiece ... must be a woman lives there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cam with them on a weekend during the day. Most men with a partner plan things to do around then. Good luck!"
i was with a married guy for a year and a half and we spent 10 hour days together at the weekend - turned out she worked 12 hour shifts 4 on 4 off
like others have said they can either take you at your word or nothing will prove it - everyones circumstances are different , and while there are dead giveaways sometimes, plenty of things both proof for and against can have a different explanation
if they are that distrusting its their issue not yours |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Rather strange that ... knowing that you can’t actually prove it
But
A cynical person would say ‘ I bet you’ve had some traffic through your profile today’
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