FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Self perception
Self perception
Jump to: Newest in thread
Do you think you live up to others ideas of you? So for example, we tend to put our best pictures on here. You know the ones with the good light or that we've added a filter to even out skin tone or to add drama. And they are us at our best, so you kinda end up saying you're not good looking when someone says you are because you remember the day where your bloated, have some acne and you feel a bit meh.
Or that on the forum you can appear a lot more confident than you would be in the pub with a group of people.
So I guess after my long winded OP is do you worry that your photos are not a true reflection of you? Are you as confident as you appear on here? Or is something that had never occured to?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Good question!
I am quite honest with my pictures, although I use good angles I dont photoshop etc. However, I am nowhere near as confident as I appear to be I dont think. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Oh hell no, my side face has a right turkey neck
I'm also about 2 clothes sizes bigger now than my last photo addition. For someone my height it doesn't take much weight really for that to happen but my confidence is shot to shit |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm not worried as I haven't had an experience when someone said: you don't look like in your photos. So I will continue as it is with some artsy flare to them
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
My pics are usually unfiltered, I just dont show the moobs much  .
And I'm ok confidence wise around people but if theres a lot that all know each other I may be a little cautious of saying the wrong thing  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Im a quiet person naturally ( until the vodka comes out ) but incredibly quirky not fitting into regularshaped boxes. I tend to wear bold colours , red lippy / nails , vintage hairstyles and vintage repro clothes most days.
I think my photos are a good representation of who I am and unless I use majorly obvious filters I only adjust light as my house is rather dark all the time.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I dont like my photos but also means if anyone wanted to meet I wouldn't feel worried because they've seen what I'm like. If that makes any sense
I should actually put more photos up! Only have a few |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
The main difference from my pics to real life are my tattoos, I photoshop them out in all pics and in winter I use a tan filter, but I use a warm glow moisturiser when I meet anyway as I like it.
Confidence wise I am exactly the same in real life and on here |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I have posted the unflattering angles on here with my cellulite out the lot. And if I send a pic of my face it's generally one minus make up.
Because I'm me and you know what, I've got thread veins, stretch marks and my skin isn't one colour like a doll (on fact its a red after running around in work). I have large pores on my nose and peach fuzz on my arse. My legs are probably stubbly under the tights and I've got a bald patch at the nape of my neck. I have dimples and rolls and my fupa don't get me started. But it is what is, and nobody has complained yet |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *lipy123TV/TS
over a year ago
Birmingham |
I think i am give a true representation of myself on here, I am reasonably quite in normal life and i think i am the same on here. Only post on here when i think i can add something and not for the sake of posting. As for my pictures they are me with the dressing is something i find fun and does bring some excitement to these dreary times |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *tue555Man
over a year ago
Passed Beyond Reach |
I have long since stopped worrying about living up to others expectations. I am an older gent, been bald since I was 21ish, try to keep myself reasonable fit, bikes, kayak, surfing.
I don't try and be something I'm not to impress, I don't worry too much how people view me, some see that arrogance - I just see it as being me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It’s hard to know how others expect you to look. My pictures are an honest reflection of me and I’ve always shown more natural pictures to anyone I’ve become friends with or met. I’m not the most confident person at the best of times so try not to overthink things. I prefer to go to socials and let people make their own mind up face to face. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm much more confident typing rather than talking. Once the clothes are off I am more confident and less nervous.
I don't mind my pics but as a man I never really know what pics to take. Girls have boobs, body, arse, pussy, face, legs, sexy outfits. Guys, cock, body, face. I feel like most of my pics are always the same  Does that make sense? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I have no idea what people perceive me as before meeting, well maybe taller, but that has been resolved with the addition to the name.
As for photos they are me, what it doesn’t show is that the body moves is squidgy and wobbles but that will always be the case.
People can make their own minds up face to face |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My pics represent what I look like and I do go through hundreds to pick one as I'm my biggest critic.Take 40 delete 39.
Personally wise though I think I look confident in my pics but I'm not at all.I hate how I feel when meeting new people as im a nervous wreck.Its so daunting and I get my words mixed up easily and have slight confidence issues.
So yes my pics represent how I look but not my personality x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Maybe I worded my OP wrong, I kinda meant like when someone pays you a compliment on here and that little voice in your head says, well they can't see my spots or what have you. "
There are days when i don't want to do my pants video +photos because i feel bloated, unattractive etc. But then i get a grip ... It's reflective of life and I'm far from perfect at the best of times.. So I just try to maximise the good bits....and my cloak of confidence that I pull on for the occasion takes care of everything else |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Maybe I worded my OP wrong, I kinda meant like when someone pays you a compliment on here and that little voice in your head says, well they can't see my spots or what have you. "
If I’m honest I laugh at most compliments that come through, unless it’s from someone I’ve met, the others I just see as lines to try to sweeten you up |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
All my photos hide the bits that make me insecure. I’m terrified of actually meeting anyone post lockdown now, in case the real life response is “oh. Ah. No” |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Maybe I worded my OP wrong, I kinda meant like when someone pays you a compliment on here and that little voice in your head says, well they can't see my spots or what have you. "
This is what my mum used to say was "beating yourself up before someone else does". It is a confidence thing and particularly common in UK. (why ?misplaced modesty? revel in being nation of underdog?). We now live in a curated society. Unrealistic pic filters in everyday use create impossible perfection and make the confidence even worse.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Maybe I worded my OP wrong, I kinda meant like when someone pays you a compliment on here and that little voice in your head says, well they can't see my spots or what have you. "
I tell people "you'll be sorely disappointed in the flesh" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Maybe I worded my OP wrong, I kinda meant like when someone pays you a compliment on here and that little voice in your head says, well they can't see my spots or what have you.
This is what my mum used to say was "beating yourself up before someone else does". It is a confidence thing and particularly common in UK. (why ?misplaced modesty? revel in being nation of underdog?). We now live in a curated society. Unrealistic pic filters in everyday use create impossible perfection and make the confidence even worse. "
Self perception is a fragile thing that can be so delicate and easily broken.
It's so hard to believe to those that are trying to build you up.Yet so easy to believe those that are breaking you and so easy to believe your own doubts and see others as beautiful but see no beauty in yourself.
The mind is so delicate x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My pics as profile are reflective of me, I don’t change or edit other than playing with colours......however I do hide bits that I don’t like...I’m open about this with anyone before meeting. It’s never been an issue for anyone else but it’s a massive one for me  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
My photos are cropped but not photo shopped. I'll admit to be guilty about taking pics from particular angles.
I do worry when we go on meets that people will be disappointed about how I look because I dont consider myself attractive but that hasn't happened yet.
I do lack a confidence in myself but I don't project that - probably because of how I need to be at work. People.say my confidence at meets is sexy & is just as attractive.
I'm working on convincing myself I'm OK |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
On the forum I am how I am in situations I am comfortable with and people I feel comfortable around. I don't know if I necessarily come across as confident on here - I post about my overthinking (I could overthink of an emote!), sometimes I'm clearly waffling and that's not the best sign of confidence.
As far as people being disappointed when they've met me? I've only had one person express that - they thought I'd be a size 10 (or was it a 12 they said?) and did that look me up and down thing and said I'm a lot bigger than they thought I'd be. That was their honest opinion and that's fair enough. Still stung like fuck though! Since then I've been trying to shift weight to varying degrees of success. I don't really worry about my photos not being a true reflection of me on the whole - my face photos are taken without makeup and not even a decent angle. I'd like to take more full length photos but I'm bad at taking them and to be honest, there's not an audience for them.
I don't know if I do live up to others images of me, I'm not the sort of woman who gets compliments very often on her physical appearance in photos. I think most people see me as a bit of a pretentious chubby talker so I guess I live up to that. And I'm ok with that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think I’m pretty accurate with self perception and awareness, and pictures are always just typical of me, not a huge selfie fan. If someone has used filters I’d wonder why, or things like photoshop to improve their own pictures would just be their own insecurities, I wouldn’t judge, but probably not for me.
Face to face is always best, and I think people come across best in person, even if they’re shy or awkward, that’s still what life is primarily about. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
I think people tend to underestimate how tall I am. I am also fat. My friends only pics have pics that display the belly etc. I meet for a social first always to make sure I don’t scare them off.
Personality wise I’m how I am on here just quiet until I know someone well. I’m less introspective and maudlin in person, which might be a relief to some!
I don’t say much, I’m more of a listener, so those expecting loads of banter could be disappointed.
I smile a lot. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *1011Woman
over a year ago
Barnsley |
Almost a true representation but I do tend to keep my stomach hidden as after 3 children I'm a little uncomfortable with with damage its done.
I guess once im in the throws of sex I don't think about it the same and to be quite honest I don't think anyone has ever actually cared, it's my own insecurity I guess. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
There's a couple of full length picture of me on my profile with all my wobbly bits out.
I don't worry that people will think I'm fat - because that's obvious
But I do worry about looking old |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Frida, you look fabulous - natural & womanly. That's what we love about your pics!
I do worry about mine - not my face pics - as that's what I look like with makeup on. I love my freckles showing through. But I do take body pics from good angles - and I avoid showing my fat belly, cos I hate it!
However, I do say I'm "ample" on my profile. And happily say I'm a size 16 bottom & 18 top to anyone who'll listen! Maybe I'll try a photo with my belly in? Test the waters....x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"There's a couple of full length picture of me on my profile with all my wobbly bits out.
I don't worry that people will think I'm fat - because that's obvious
But I do worry about looking old "
You look bloody amazing, Mary!
And not a wrinkle in sight. So no, you do not look old xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yes I definitely worry that people will be disappointed as I always show my best self on here.
I do use flattering poses, hide my worst bits (you never see my stomach uncovered or vagina for example) but I never alter my images to not look like me if that makes sense. I couldn't ever bring myself to make myself appear slim, or photoshop myself into a shape that isn't me etc.
It's like people see my smile and always compliment me on it, but they don't see how my top lip thins out when I laugh and they don't see my wonky bottom teeth. And don't even get me started on how much my body jiggles but in a photo how would you know how soft my body is? And jesus fucking Christ you should see me first thing in the morning.
I have made a really good friend on here and shared personal and intimate videos with him quite often, all natural and no filters etc... and he finds me just as attractive as he always has done which reassured me that maybe we just overthink these things sometimes.
I definitely come across as much more confident personality wise than I actually am in person, and I worry about that too and sometimes feel like a fraud... but then again I would only meet with someone I felt truly comfortable with and it wouldn't take them long to bring me out of my shell.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Maybe I worded my OP wrong, I kinda meant like when someone pays you a compliment on here and that little voice in your head says, well they can't see my spots or what have you. "
I get compliments on here. It's utter bollocks. Some people will chat up anything.
I had 186 messages in 10 hours a few weeks ago- my profile only had one close up cleavage pic. Horrible. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Almost a true representation but I do tend to keep my stomach hidden as after 3 children I'm a little uncomfortable with with damage its done.
I guess once im in the throws of sex I don't think about it the same and to be quite honest I don't think anyone has ever actually cared, it's my own insecurity I guess."
You really don't need to worry about it.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Frida, you look fabulous - natural & womanly. That's what we love about your pics!
I do worry about mine - not my face pics - as that's what I look like with makeup on. I love my freckles showing through. But I do take body pics from good angles - and I avoid showing my fat belly, cos I hate it!
However, I do say I'm "ample" on my profile. And happily say I'm a size 16 bottom & 18 top to anyone who'll listen! Maybe I'll try a photo with my belly in? Test the waters....x"
Not sure if I can say we’ve seen each other in the flesh but we have seen each other and you’re sexy AF, Red. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Frida, you look fabulous - natural & womanly. That's what we love about your pics!
I do worry about mine - not my face pics - as that's what I look like with makeup on. I love my freckles showing through. But I do take body pics from good angles - and I avoid showing my fat belly, cos I hate it!
However, I do say I'm "ample" on my profile. And happily say I'm a size 16 bottom & 18 top to anyone who'll listen! Maybe I'll try a photo with my belly in? Test the waters....x"
Thank you, I'm the same I've put ample. I have put a couple of pictures of my belly on here, after someone was a bit mean about my weight. And to be fair nobody said anything nasty about those photos either |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
Yes I definitely worry that people will be disappointed as I always show my best self on here.
I do use flattering poses, hide my worst bits (you never see my stomach uncovered or vagina for example) but I never alter my images to not look like me if that makes sense. I couldn't ever bring myself to make myself appear slim, or photoshop myself into a shape that isn't me etc.
It's like people see my smile and always compliment me on it, but they don't see how my top lip thins out when I laugh and they don't see my wonky bottom teeth. And don't even get me started on how much my body jiggles but in a photo how would you know how soft my body is? And jesus fucking Christ you should see me first thing in the morning.
I have made a really good friend on here and shared personal and intimate videos with him quite often, all natural and no filters etc... and he finds me just as attractive as he always has done which reassured me that maybe we just overthink these things sometimes.
I definitely come across as much more confident personality wise than I actually am in person, and I worry about that too and sometimes feel like a fraud... but then again I would only meet with someone I felt truly comfortable with and it wouldn't take them long to bring me out of my shell.
"
I totally get this LBC I wonder if it's a bit like self sabotage sometimes? Though it's something I'm trying to get over and am more likely to post pictures of my cellulite now compared to before |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rder66Man
over a year ago
Tatooine |
An image can never truely reflect who you are. Most people have the false impression of themselves never mind for other people. Once you understand yourself then other peoples opinion doesn't realy mena anything.
Just have fun with your photo's, whay be concerned about the image.
PLuas all the male photos of just a cock, are truely just a giant cock in real life. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
When taking pics I always breath in and try for the best angle. I’m not an overly confident person at all and I’m no way would I be as confident in real life as I am behind the camera. Though once I’m confident around someone, the same person behind the camera soon comes out. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Frida, you look fabulous - natural & womanly. That's what we love about your pics!
I do worry about mine - not my face pics - as that's what I look like with makeup on. I love my freckles showing through. But I do take body pics from good angles - and I avoid showing my fat belly, cos I hate it!
However, I do say I'm "ample" on my profile. And happily say I'm a size 16 bottom & 18 top to anyone who'll listen! Maybe I'll try a photo with my belly in? Test the waters....x
Not sure if I can say we’ve seen each other in the flesh but we have seen each other and you’re sexy AF, Red. "
Aw, bless you Mac! Yes we cammed & I was super nervous. I guess you put me at my ease, as never did that before.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don't worry
I have my 'lure' em in' pics and a selection of recent, close up, 'honest' pics
Any potential meet gets the chance to say 'no' before physically meeting
I would look for a social with a woman or a couple anyway, so if they don't like what they see or don't feel it, I've still had a couple of drinks and a good chat and we leave amicably
As for guys, I am a bit more carnal. I'm not interested overly in socials. If we fancy each other in person, let's get it on, if we don't, that's cool too
I have said 'no thanks' to guys to their face and, likewise, I've had it said to me
It doesn't phase me |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Frida, you look fabulous - natural & womanly. That's what we love about your pics!
I do worry about mine - not my face pics - as that's what I look like with makeup on. I love my freckles showing through. But I do take body pics from good angles - and I avoid showing my fat belly, cos I hate it!
However, I do say I'm "ample" on my profile. And happily say I'm a size 16 bottom & 18 top to anyone who'll listen! Maybe I'll try a photo with my belly in? Test the waters....x
Thank you, I'm the same I've put ample. I have put a couple of pictures of my belly on here, after someone was a bit mean about my weight. And to be fair nobody said anything nasty about those photos either "
You truly look beautiful, Frida. And I have real lingerie envy. That green set - OMG! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I totally get this LBC I wonder if it's a bit like self sabotage sometimes? Though it's something I'm trying to get over and am more likely to post pictures of my cellulite now compared to before "
Yes it really is just self sabotage sometimes. I think we can view ourselves with so many flaws and overthink and just assume others will see our bodies just like we do and and we question ourselves over how we must come across.
I would like to think everyone realises a photo is just a photo and in real life will come movement, flaws and rolls, dimples etc but that doesn't mean you're still not the person in the photos. And I kinda think if they're disappointed by that then they are not worth your time your anyway.
I don't agree with photoshopping your body though to the point it doesn't look like you at all. I actually think that's messed up and very misleading if you are planning to meet.
If I was to pose in front of you in real life how I pose in my photos you'll see pretty much what the photo shows. But I've seen people take about 10 years off their age and pull in their waist etc to give a different shape and I don't agree with it.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
I totally get this LBC I wonder if it's a bit like self sabotage sometimes? Though it's something I'm trying to get over and am more likely to post pictures of my cellulite now compared to before
Yes it really is just self sabotage sometimes. I think we can view ourselves with so many flaws and overthink and just assume others will see our bodies just like we do and and we question ourselves over how we must come across.
I would like to think everyone realises a photo is just a photo and in real life will come movement, flaws and rolls, dimples etc but that doesn't mean you're still not the person in the photos. And I kinda think if they're disappointed by that then they are not worth your time your anyway.
I don't agree with photoshopping your body though to the point it doesn't look like you at all. I actually think that's messed up and very misleading if you are planning to meet.
If I was to pose in front of you in real life how I pose in my photos you'll see pretty much what the photo shows. But I've seen people take about 10 years off their age and pull in their waist etc to give a different shape and I don't agree with it.
"
That's awful. Really? I've met lots of people off here, both socially & to play, and only 1 person didn't look like their photos - he'd taken at least 10 yrs off. Thankfully, that was in a pub for a social. We had an awkward couple of drinks & went our separate ways.
He messaged me to say I wasn't what he was looking for. Cheek of him |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
When my profile is fully active I think I'm pretty much as you see me in my pics. I'm not hiding anything and no.one has ever said I dont look like them.
As for personality I come across as I am I'm sure of that, bit cheeky, not too serious |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My two cents ...
I was never a believer of taking 300 selfies, swiping through them to find the best ones and then filtering the shit out of the shortlist. I make sure the light is right, but nothing more really.
So, I suppose that’s a long way of saying I’m not worried as anyone who has met me got what they saw. I never understand the sense of using filters, like Snapchat filters, for example that de-age you, because at the end of the day when you meet someone, there’s going to be an element of disappointment (and possible a large one at that) ... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My two cents ...
I was never a believer of taking 300 selfies, swiping through them to find the best ones and then filtering the shit out of the shortlist. I make sure the light is right, but nothing more really.
So, I suppose that’s a long way of saying I’m not worried as anyone who has met me got what they saw. I never understand the sense of using filters, like Snapchat filters, for example that de-age you, because at the end of the day when you meet someone, there’s going to be an element of disappointment (and possible a large one at that) ..."
Exactly that!
But my problem is hiding my belly.
I'm going to take some photos of it over the weekend and post them x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This is a really good thread. I certainly put my best photos up, and delete the rest, and I'm really smart about lighting and filters. The body is mine but I'm creative with hiding my wobbly belly lol and pushing my tits out lol.
Having said that, when I chat with someone with the intention of meeting, I always share face pics and 100% raw photos, and it's up to them if they want to progress forwards! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Yes I definitely worry that people will be disappointed as I always show my best self on here.
I do use flattering poses, hide my worst bits (you never see my stomach uncovered or vagina for example) but I never alter my images to not look like me if that makes sense. I couldn't ever bring myself to make myself appear slim, or photoshop myself into a shape that isn't me etc.
It's like people see my smile and always compliment me on it, but they don't see how my top lip thins out when I laugh and they don't see my wonky bottom teeth. And don't even get me started on how much my body jiggles but in a photo how would you know how soft my body is? And jesus fucking Christ you should see me first thing in the morning.
I have made a really good friend on here and shared personal and intimate videos with him quite often, all natural and no filters etc... and he finds me just as attractive as he always has done which reassured me that maybe we just overthink these things sometimes.
I definitely come across as much more confident personality wise than I actually am in person, and I worry about that too and sometimes feel like a fraud... but then again I would only meet with someone I felt truly comfortable with and it wouldn't take them long to bring me out of my shell.
I totally get this LBC I wonder if it's a bit like self sabotage sometimes? Though it's something I'm trying to get over and am more likely to post pictures of my cellulite now compared to before "
I'm curious why it's so important to you that you post parts of you that you're least comfortable with.
Doesn't that just make you dwell on the insecurities more?
I'm not keen on how my arse looks naked so wouldn't post a pic here because I'd probably focus on it more. But nobody has run screaming in horror when they've seen it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
Yes I definitely worry that people will be disappointed as I always show my best self on here.
I do use flattering poses, hide my worst bits (you never see my stomach uncovered or vagina for example) but I never alter my images to not look like me if that makes sense. I couldn't ever bring myself to make myself appear slim, or photoshop myself into a shape that isn't me etc.
It's like people see my smile and always compliment me on it, but they don't see how my top lip thins out when I laugh and they don't see my wonky bottom teeth. And don't even get me started on how much my body jiggles but in a photo how would you know how soft my body is? And jesus fucking Christ you should see me first thing in the morning.
I have made a really good friend on here and shared personal and intimate videos with him quite often, all natural and no filters etc... and he finds me just as attractive as he always has done which reassured me that maybe we just overthink these things sometimes.
I definitely come across as much more confident personality wise than I actually am in person, and I worry about that too and sometimes feel like a fraud... but then again I would only meet with someone I felt truly comfortable with and it wouldn't take them long to bring me out of my shell.
I totally get this LBC I wonder if it's a bit like self sabotage sometimes? Though it's something I'm trying to get over and am more likely to post pictures of my cellulite now compared to before
I'm curious why it's so important to you that you post parts of you that you're least comfortable with.
Doesn't that just make you dwell on the insecurities more?
I'm not keen on how my arse looks naked so wouldn't post a pic here because I'd probably focus on it more. But nobody has run screaming in horror when they've seen it"
Easy it's not the elephant in the room if you confront it. If I'm confident enough with my worst bits then I'm going to rock my best bits |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I feel they are how i look (before lockdown) im pretty disgusted at how my bodys looking atm but im not meeting and know when the gyms are back open ill get it back. Facial wise i think my pics percept the true me, but hey we all have off days when i dont look 100% |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The pictures I put up are un-flitered and not photo shopped. I'm very comfortable naked so I'm not worried anyone will be disappointed with the RL me as they will have already seen everything. I'm more worried they'll be disappointed with my character as I'm quite reserved in person until I get to know someone. I'm also self-conscious about my labia as they're larger than average and get a bit nervous the first time I'm with someone new. I know logically there are plenty of women with labia like mine and nobody has ever been less than enthusiastic about them, but still I'm not confident. I should probably take the decision to just put a photo on my profile and own it. At least then I'll know or sure that anyone I end up meeting won't be disappointed. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Yes I definitely worry that people will be disappointed as I always show my best self on here.
I do use flattering poses, hide my worst bits (you never see my stomach uncovered or vagina for example) but I never alter my images to not look like me if that makes sense. I couldn't ever bring myself to make myself appear slim, or photoshop myself into a shape that isn't me etc.
It's like people see my smile and always compliment me on it, but they don't see how my top lip thins out when I laugh and they don't see my wonky bottom teeth. And don't even get me started on how much my body jiggles but in a photo how would you know how soft my body is? And jesus fucking Christ you should see me first thing in the morning.
I have made a really good friend on here and shared personal and intimate videos with him quite often, all natural and no filters etc... and he finds me just as attractive as he always has done which reassured me that maybe we just overthink these things sometimes.
I definitely come across as much more confident personality wise than I actually am in person, and I worry about that too and sometimes feel like a fraud... but then again I would only meet with someone I felt truly comfortable with and it wouldn't take them long to bring me out of my shell.
I totally get this LBC I wonder if it's a bit like self sabotage sometimes? Though it's something I'm trying to get over and am more likely to post pictures of my cellulite now compared to before
I'm curious why it's so important to you that you post parts of you that you're least comfortable with.
Doesn't that just make you dwell on the insecurities more?
I'm not keen on how my arse looks naked so wouldn't post a pic here because I'd probably focus on it more. But nobody has run screaming in horror when they've seen it
Easy it's not the elephant in the room if you confront it. If I'm confident enough with my worst bits then I'm going to rock my best bits "
My arse isn't quite that big 
Seriously though, I'm pretty sure guys aren't gonna mention your belly or your cellulite if you don't |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
As a whole package I'm very aware of my self and my shortcomings in all respects both physically, personality wise and in terms of "abilities" and am both honest and (mostly) comfortable with them - how others perceive me is of course not something I can control, nor is it something I overly worry about apart from people I am meeting, and even then I'm very honest and upfront about it - as yet I've not had anyone run screaming or say I'm nothing like they perceived me to be.
In terms of pics, like everyone else of course I pic the best ones, although there are some on my profile that are less flattering than others, or that I'm not particularly a fan of - they're all authentically me though, likewise with my personality and thoughts/opinions I post.
That said there are times that someone's perception of me in an on-line format has me thinking "they don't know the real me" or "they don't see the gut" or the "cums too quickly" or whatever other side of me - but then that is mostly from relative strangers that don't know me, so it doesn't overly matter - the ones that really matter are the people I meet in person, and on here that's usually after a lot of talk, a lot of honesty and no real room for any surprises and as I said further up, I've yet to have anyone be surprised by me in person. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yes I look like my pics don’t tend to photo shop them much maybe crop little bits odd background out and draw cover my face
I do play with filters also but I have a lot off none filtered pics also plus videos as well
Even my personaly is the same very kind and polite |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My two cents ...
I was never a believer of taking 300 selfies, swiping through them to find the best ones and then filtering the shit out of the shortlist. I make sure the light is right, but nothing more really.
So, I suppose that’s a long way of saying I’m not worried as anyone who has met me got what they saw. I never understand the sense of using filters, like Snapchat filters, for example that de-age you, because at the end of the day when you meet someone, there’s going to be an element of disappointment (and possible a large one at that) ...
Exactly that!
But my problem is hiding my belly.
I'm going to take some photos of it over the weekend and post them x"
Tricky one that. I think we all choose the most flattering poses. We all have bits that we don’t like so much. When I look at someone’s photos, it is noticeable when “tactical” camera angles are used etc. That said, I think it comes down to what matters to me when looking at someone’s photos. I’m pretty shallow in that respect, but then that’s me and what I like. It’s not the be all and end all and I do want there to be some chemistry too. I definitely appreciate the more realistic photos though.
I’m putting this somewhat crassly, and apologies for that, but if a set of photos is designed to mislead me to want to meet someone, then if the aim is just a one-off meet, then that person will probably not get away with it (as there would be a social meet first). If it’s something more regular that I were after, then I think it would come down to whether I am sufficiently disappointed (it’s a matter of degree in my mind) by the in-person encounter to never want to see the other person again or whether other factors, like an engaging personality and the way that person stimulates me mentally (in a sexual sense), outweigh any disappointment.
I must stress that this is me and how I’m wired. I’m sure many other people may have a less superficial outlook. I’m very visual. Some may say I’m a horrible person and I’ll burn in hell, but as someone said to me today, they have comfy beds there, and I’m hoping superkings at that!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Thank you OP for this most interesting question.
I shall try and share my feelings with these matters.
Do I worry that my pictures may not represent me adequately ?
Oh yes, I do. They most probably don’t. Not that I stole any of them from the internet, they are me, but the best possible image of me. I’m not clever enough to use photoshop but I have learnt about angles and filters. A few years ago my pics were raw and a fellow forumite did a screenshot and sent me back one of my pics after applying a couple of filters. It was a revelation. We chatted and I discovered a new world of possibilities my phone offered. And god did I indulge! To the point where, the longer lasting between you may remember, I won an award for best male pictures (bit of self promotion in the process). Now my pictures don’t give an accurate image of who I am all of the time. But I do hope that the clearly unnatural poses and sometimes over the top filtering make it clear that I use my pics as a marketing tool. I joined Fab to have fun and meet people and for that I’m better off showing the best side of myself, especially in such a competitive environment. And some of you, I have talked with on a more intimate level, do know how anxious I can be about my pics. They are a double edged sword.
Am I as confident in person as I may come across here? Certainly not. I see the forums as a bit of fun. Not so much recently but I joke and flirt and stay clear of serious topics (mostly). I even won the biggest flirt award in a not so distant past (is that too much self promotion?) But some of you met me at group socials and realised how shy I can be. It’s debilitating (at least until I get a few drinks down my neck). However I don’t think I give a false representation of myself in the forums. This cheeky, flirty, confident man is part of me. But I also build huge walls around me and they are a lot easier to take down in front of a stranger on the internet than the same person face to face: it takes a lot more time (or drinks) for me to relax in person. A couple of you have seen how cheeky and confident I can be though. This man is in me, the question is will you make me comfortable enough to show that side of me?
So am I misrepresenting myself? You decide. I don’t purposefully try and deceive people but I do try and seduce and show my best side. I’m not a different person, it’s just one side of that person and I think we all are much more than what might transpire online.
Ultimately I may, inadvertently, give a false representation of myself but I don’t meet anybody at the flick of a coin either. I like getting to know who I meet and by the time we seat in front of one another you’ll have a much better idea of who I am, the whole of me, and it’s up to you to decide whether you want to see my cock. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’m not much good at pics, so yes they show me as I am. Though I don’t post the worst pics.
I’ve not been told I look worse in person so must be ok.
I’ve been told I look confident in showing off my body and that’s maybe the only false impression I give x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I’m probably quite accurate on here to real life; I don’t tend to push myself forward and even after being here for ages, most people don’t know who I am.
However while I’m rarely in the middle of the room, I’m usually with a few close friends and we’re having a real laugh. That’s similar to here.
Physically is more difficult to say. I’m no oil painting and so photos don’t work well for me, they freeze a moment in time and I’m not great at holding a pose.
In real life it’s different, whilst I’d like to carry around the lights and filters it can be a pain to set them all up in Costa. But when we move and smile and react in person it’s more natural and people don’t see just a snapshot.
I’m probably fatter than you think, but by the time you find out, you’ll be under the spell of my charms. Or you’ll think: oh I might as well fuck him, I’m here now  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I truly worry I catfish people on here as I get complimented regularly and told I'm enjoyable to chat to (without sounding arrogant)
However in my day to day life I would always say I'm far more reserved than I am here as I'm able to put my best foot forward without worry of being judged or people talking about me!
I dont think I'm the dogs bollocks and I really do think I'm quite an average person but I know if I twist or squeeze I can look like something people want- so I apologise in advance for being a let down if we meet |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If you want me to bring the cowboy hat I will 
The pictures show me and who I am, I use black and white filters on some just to give artsy timeless touch...
Yes I end up taking quite a few photos and sometimes not even using them ... I try and give the best version of “me” on here x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm not sure I do to be honest. But I kinda like that.
Appearance wise, I 100% look like my pics. Sometimes I'm glammed up, other times, no makeup and in fleecy panda jarmies. I make sure there are plenty of recent pics of me to send out and often cam prior to meeting socially. I often get recognised by fabbers when out and about as my face is on here.
Personality wise, people are often surprised when they meet me in person or get to know me more. Some pleasantly so, other disappointed (depending on their pre-formed opinion of me).
I tend to take very little notice to what's said to me or about me on here. I've had some very OTT complimentary messages and some absolutely vile ones too (telling me to lose weight/stop getting tattoos/looking "fake" etc). I'm always more interested in meeting someone in person, getting to know them. Then can you start to know someone. I've made some lifelong friendships from simply meeting for a social.
Fab is just a social media platform for me, you can portray whatever image you like and put out there whatever you want people to see. Meeting in person is where it's at for me though
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This is a really interesting thread on human behaviour. Our natural instinct is to appear attractive to others both inside and out. I definitely keep photos and personality as true to the real me (but of course put best foot forward) ... I think that those that don't portray their true self aren't really happy and want to pretend to a life that isn't real
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m probably quite accurate on here to real life; I don’t tend to push myself forward and even after being here for ages, most people don’t know who I am.
However while I’m rarely in the middle of the room, I’m usually with a few close friends and we’re having a real laugh. That’s similar to here.
Physically is more difficult to say. I’m no oil painting and so photos don’t work well for me, they freeze a moment in time and I’m not great at holding a pose.
In real life it’s different, whilst I’d like to carry around the lights and filters it can be a pain to set them all up in Costa. ***But when we move and smile and react in person it’s more natural and people don’t see just a snapshot.***
..."
*** Very much this for me.
In BC times I always have the first meet within 2 weeks of first chatting. Pics don't work for me. I meet people not pics. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Thank you OP for this most interesting question.
I shall try and share my feelings with these matters.
Do I worry that my pictures may not represent me adequately ?
Oh yes, I do. They most probably don’t. Not that I stole any of them from the internet, they are me, but the best possible image of me. I’m not clever enough to use photoshop but I have learnt about angles and filters. A few years ago my pics were raw and a fellow forumite did a screenshot and sent me back one of my pics after applying a couple of filters. It was a revelation. We chatted and I discovered a new world of possibilities my phone offered. And god did I indulge! To the point where, the longer lasting between you may remember, I won an award for best male pictures (bit of self promotion in the process). Now my pictures don’t give an accurate image of who I am all of the time. But I do hope that the clearly unnatural poses and sometimes over the top filtering make it clear that I use my pics as a marketing tool. I joined Fab to have fun and meet people and for that I’m better off showing the best side of myself, especially in such a competitive environment. And some of you, I have talked with on a more intimate level, do know how anxious I can be about my pics. They are a double edged sword.
Am I as confident in person as I may come across here? Certainly not. I see the forums as a bit of fun. Not so much recently but I joke and flirt and stay clear of serious topics (mostly). I even won the biggest flirt award in a not so distant past (is that too much self promotion?) But some of you met me at group socials and realised how shy I can be. It’s debilitating (at least until I get a few drinks down my neck). However I don’t think I give a false representation of myself in the forums. This cheeky, flirty, confident man is part of me. But I also build huge walls around me and they are a lot easier to take down in front of a stranger on the internet than the same person face to face: it takes a lot more time (or drinks) for me to relax in person. A couple of you have seen how cheeky and confident I can be though. This man is in me, the question is will you make me comfortable enough to show that side of me?
So am I misrepresenting myself? You decide. I don’t purposefully try and deceive people but I do try and seduce and show my best side. I’m not a different person, it’s just one side of that person and I think we all are much more than what might transpire online.
Ultimately I may, inadvertently, give a false representation of myself but I don’t meet anybody at the flick of a coin either. I like getting to know who I meet and by the time we seat in front of one another you’ll have a much better idea of who I am, the whole of me, and it’s up to you to decide whether you want to see my cock."
Love this amazing post, and you eloquently described what I was thinking. My OP although badly worded was about self perception not what others thought. But I like that analogy that it's one side of a muti faceted person is the glimpse people see before they get to know you. Thank you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Love this amazing post, and you eloquently described what I was thinking. My OP although badly worded was about self perception not what others thought. But I like that analogy that it's one side of a muti faceted person is the glimpse people see before they get to know you. Thank you "
Well thank you for the opportunity your thread gave me. It was rather cathartic to take part in this conversation.
Although I should clarify that when I said “see my cock”, I really meant “sit on it”. We would want people to think I’m actually serious. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Good post.....
I never worry about my photos.
You have an effortless natural beauty and grace that doesn’t need photos."
Do you see NOW how clearly this man thinks and sees?...... We are lucky to have him. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We love creating scenes that lend themselves to an erotic or storytelling pic. We use light and filters to enhance the drama of photos, which are still just us. It's how we are and hopefully gives a sense of who we are too.
I'm not going to post a bedhead pic - if you see me like that, we've already made our own fun.
C |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
Love this amazing post, and you eloquently described what I was thinking. My OP although badly worded was about self perception not what others thought. But I like that analogy that it's one side of a muti faceted person is the glimpse people see before they get to know you. Thank you
Well thank you for the opportunity your thread gave me. It was rather cathartic to take part in this conversation.
Although I should clarify that when I said “see my cock”, I really meant “sit on it”. We would want people to think I’m actually serious."
Heaven forbid someone thought you were serious |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We love creating scenes that lend themselves to an erotic or storytelling pic. We use light and filters to enhance the drama of photos, which are still just us. It's how we are and hopefully gives a sense of who we are too.
I'm not going to post a bedhead pic - if you see me like that, we've already made our own fun.
C"
Funnily enough my normal FPF is one of me just out of bed with bed hair |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I love playing around with my pictures but I never adjust shape or size...I did once heal a scratch of my hip that was visible in a picture and may have removed a patch of psoriasis once or twice but...my psoriasis is by no means always there and neither is the scratch obvs. I'm just as likely to use a drama filter that highlights flaws as I am a glamour filter that hides them. I think on the whole my gallery reflects how I am likely to look on a night out or when I glam up for a meet. More importantly they reflect the variety of things that I enjoy, I'd like to think they reflect my personality as much as my appearance. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
