FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Out of my league

Out of my league

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Do you ever look at a profile, read it and go hmm I like the sound of this person. Then looks at the pictures and then go. Nope way to beautiful/handsome, no way would they like me. So don't bother sending a message? Coz I know I do lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No lol. If I match their profile interests I'll send a message.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ah no. It didn't stop me. You don't know who they fancy? Unless their veris or bio indicate a certain type, which I'm not compatible with...why not?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No, I have Delusions of grandeur.

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By *elle xWoman over a year ago

Doire Theas

No one is out of anyone’s league take the chance you never know

Everyone’s ideas of beauty are very different

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By *indergirlWoman over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

Nope, but that's a self confidence issue more than anything with me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Of course there are some stunning women on fab who invariably are seeking an Adonis or David Gandy look a like but nothing ventured and all that!

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By *ex HolesMan over a year ago

Up North

Reach for the stars OP

S Club 7 (2000)

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By *elle xWoman over a year ago

Doire Theas

"No, I have Delusions of grandeur."

You are so out of my league

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No, I have Delusions of grandeur.

You are so out of my league

I know

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When I was looking, yes I did. Quite a lot

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No, I’d always message. My mantra has always been ‘they’re going to end up sleeping with some idiot, may as well be this idiot.’

Has served me well, you’d be amazed at how some amazing looking women don’t get approached because of guys’ own insecurities and incorrect projection.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No .. just some leagues are not compatible

...

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By *luebellRacerCouple over a year ago

Shropshire

[Removed by poster at 20/02/21 13:49:35]

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By *luebellRacerCouple over a year ago

Shropshire

"Reach for the stars OP

S Club 7 (2000) "

Follow your heart's desire

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes and often

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've always been the same as you OP. But i recently fabbed a picture of someone in this category, he thanked me for the fab and I got a lovely surprise

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By *luebellRacerCouple over a year ago

Shropshire

Also.... you'd be surprised! Fab makes you want things you never knew you lusted after!

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Nah, if I fancy them I message them.

(Or did do, in the olden days before the Zombie Apocalypse)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes loads of times

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By *isAdventure69Woman over a year ago

Hampshire

Yes definitely and regularly especially when their face is displayed ( and in my opinion stunning )

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No I don't, although it's very rare I send a first message

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There’s no such thing as leagues. There is chemistry and connection.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nah. There's no such thing as leagues. Only preferences and types. So read the profile then go for it if you think you match!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think the idea of leagues is so school playground and you do yourself a disservice ruling out possible great matches because you think there too good for you, nothing ventured nothing gained and all that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have done this a few times I can’t lie, but I have also been brave and sent a polite message. You aren’t gonna be everyone’s cup of tea but if you don’t try you won’t know

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

All the Premier division top of the table women are here to tell us there are no leagues.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

All the time. I very rarely message nowadays, I let people who are interested just message me and on a rare occasion, I message someone who really takes my eye.

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By * Sophie xTV/TS over a year ago

Derby

All the damn time but then thats because I have 2 sides to me and the guy one isn't as confident as the girl one plus the girl one just doesn't give a shit

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All the time. I very rarely message nowadays, I let people who are interested just message me and on a rare occasion, I message someone who really takes my eye. "
same here, now i get 0 msgs lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No. Leagues dont exist, attraction is there or its not.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes, unfortunately! Especially when I think the other person is stunning or handsome, I then wonder why but it is more to do with my own insecurities (f)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’ve been told to clarify there are no leagues, sorry for any confusion.

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By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

I used to.

Time has taught me than a bloke when horny will fuck a ham sandwich so as long as I butter my flaps I stand a chance if I really want one.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

All the time...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nope I message if I am within they criticise what’s the worst they can so say no thanks or just not reply back

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I used to.

Time has taught me than a bloke when horny will fuck a ham sandwich so as long as I butter my flaps I stand a chance if I really want one."

Will there be pickle ?

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By *exter37Man over a year ago

eckington

All the time

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nah I just wink away & message anyone I like the look of.

If they don’t respond, I’m not offended or bothered, everyone has their own personal preferences.

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

Never, ever assume anything in life, honestly what's the very worst thing that will happen ?

They say no or don't respond at all but at least you've tried and it's better than lying on your deathbed in later years thinking "what might have happened if I'd asked that pretty girl out"

Good luck

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By *oolkoupleCouple over a year ago

Cheshire

Nope. And if someone messages us saying "I know I'm out of your league but..." then it's an instant delete. Self-deprecation is not an attractive quality, we like people with some confidence about them.

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By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

"I used to.

Time has taught me than a bloke when horny will fuck a ham sandwich so as long as I butter my flaps I stand a chance if I really want one.

Will there be pickle ?"

Salad cream or mint sauce. Take yer pick

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"No. Leagues dont exist, attraction is there or its not.

My thoughts exactly.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes I do this.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Only with the gorgeous young ones ...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I used to.

Time has taught me than a bloke when horny will fuck a ham sandwich so as long as I butter my flaps I stand a chance if I really want one.

Will there be pickle ?

Salad cream or mint sauce. Take yer pickle "

I fixed that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

But then I am gorgeous

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I always figure that someone I consider out of my league will be getting millions of messages so what’s the point. My meagre attempt will get lost or mass deleted.

That said, I have had the delight of chatting to and getting to know people on here I would definitely consider several leagues above my own. So you never know.

No harm in trying.

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By *aughtyandhandsomeMan over a year ago

button moon

I used to think some people was. But over my time on here I've been surprised at who has fancied me. Some I thought wouldn't look twice at me and have said they like me. Met some too. So this out of their league is a confidence problem and I'd say I had confidence issues when I first joined. But as I've found out I appeal to quite a few and now I have no issue in messaging anyone I like the look of. I think fab has helped my confidence a lot too.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I always figure that someone I consider out of my league will be getting millions of messages so what’s the point. My meagre attempt will get lost or mass deleted.

That said, I have had the delight of chatting to and getting to know people on here I would definitely consider several leagues above my own. So you never know.

No harm in trying. "

It’s a myth ....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes.

But then one such unattainable fantasy let me know they fancied me too! I was shocked. But thrilled!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No. Leagues dont exist, attraction is there or its not.

i was about to say how many guys with abs on here have said there are no leagues then realised leagues is probably not the right term because it suggests everyone sticks to the same scoring system and for plenty people abs wouldn’t be something they attached points to

but wether you call it leagues, or types, or categories, or compatibility - to pretend that just anyone has a chance with just anyone else is a naive train of thought that i would assume cones with being “conventionally attractive”

there are exceptions to the rules sure but on the whole people gravitate to people similar to them, be that in terms of looks, interests, sexual desires etc

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

"No. Leagues dont exist, attraction is there or its not.

My thoughts exactly. "

Agreed. Clearly some people think leagues are a real thing and mark people up in that way but I think it's nonsense.

I do think that there are women who are popular/more classically attractive but it doesn't mean they are in a better league in the slightest.

Have confidence in yourself OP.

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By *hooter40Man over a year ago

Durham

Yes I certainly do

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By *hubaysiWoman over a year ago

Leeds

No because I’m confident in myself to message these kinds of people.

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By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

Yes.

But then one such unattainable fantasy let me know they fancied me too! I was shocked. But thrilled! "

You absolute traitor!

Huffffffff

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By *ex HolesMan over a year ago

Up North

I’m sexy and I know it

LMFAO (2011)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I always figure that someone I consider out of my league will be getting millions of messages so what’s the point. My meagre attempt will get lost or mass deleted.

That said, I have had the delight of chatting to and getting to know people on here I would definitely consider several leagues above my own. So you never know.

No harm in trying.

It’s a myth .... "

Which bit?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes.

But then one such unattainable fantasy let me know they fancied me too! I was shocked. But thrilled!

You absolute traitor!

Huffffffff"

Soz hun.

Out of your league.

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By *eyond PurityCouple over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Well maybe approach them in a different way then if you don’t want to put yourself out there and suggest their pics are good or something.

Compliment them in some way...then the response you get could determine if they like you...

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By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

Yes.

But then one such unattainable fantasy let me know they fancied me too! I was shocked. But thrilled!

You absolute traitor!

Huffffffff

Soz hun.

Out of your league.

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By *iamondCougarWoman over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"There’s no such thing as leagues. There is chemistry and connection.

Agree!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I always figure that someone I consider out of my league will be getting millions of messages so what’s the point. My meagre attempt will get lost or mass deleted.

That said, I have had the delight of chatting to and getting to know people on here I would definitely consider several leagues above my own. So you never know.

No harm in trying.

It’s a myth ....

Which bit?"

Millions of messages .....

when I had my boobs as my profile photo I had double the messages I get with my eyes.

Fact is .... if you have a sexual photo, you’ll get a few messages

I’m resting my case

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I often wonder why younger men are interested.. Then i remember.. Its a sex site

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By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

I never got assigned a league so I'm just out here all leagueless taking stabs in the dark.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I prefer to punish myself by looking at women's profiles and decided that the guy I am chatting to would rather chat to them...hours of fun

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I always figure that someone I consider out of my league will be getting millions of messages so what’s the point. My meagre attempt will get lost or mass deleted.

That said, I have had the delight of chatting to and getting to know people on here I would definitely consider several leagues above my own. So you never know.

No harm in trying.

It’s a myth ....

Which bit?

Millions of messages .....

when I had my boobs as my profile photo I had double the messages I get with my eyes.

Fact is .... if you have a sexual photo, you’ll get a few messages

I’m resting my case

But your eyes are stunning! I’m very surprised you don’t get many messages.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nope, I buy tickets to all the raffles!

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

"I prefer to punish myself by looking at women's profiles and decided that the guy I am chatting to would rather chat to them...hours of fun "

Oh Lily. That's made me laugh but it's also sad. Stop flogging yourself with other profiles.

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By *ad NannaWoman over a year ago

East London

I look at them and think hmmm, I wonder if they are desperate enough at the moment to want a fat middle aged woman, with dodgy knees.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I always figure that someone I consider out of my league will be getting millions of messages so what’s the point. My meagre attempt will get lost or mass deleted.

That said, I have had the delight of chatting to and getting to know people on here I would definitely consider several leagues above my own. So you never know.

No harm in trying.

It’s a myth ....

Which bit?

Millions of messages .....

when I had my boobs as my profile photo I had double the messages I get with my eyes.

Fact is .... if you have a sexual photo, you’ll get a few messages

I’m resting my case

But your eyes are stunning! I’m very surprised you don’t get many messages. "

Smooth

But I’m not exactly what the majority want on here.

I’m only in my own league

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I look at them and think hmmm, I wonder if they are desperate enough at the moment to want a fat middle aged woman, with dodgy knees."

Me too !!!!

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By *aughtyandhandsomeMan over a year ago

button moon

I always figure that someone I consider out of my league will be getting millions of messages so what’s the point. My meagre attempt will get lost or mass deleted.

That said, I have had the delight of chatting to and getting to know people on here I would definitely consider several leagues above my own. So you never know.

No harm in trying.

It’s a myth ....

Which bit?

Millions of messages .....

when I had my boobs as my profile photo I had double the messages I get with my eyes.

Fact is .... if you have a sexual photo, you’ll get a few messages

I’m resting my case

But your eyes are stunning! I’m very surprised you don’t get many messages.

Smooth

But I’m not exactly what the majority want on here.

I’m only in my own league

You're lovely. And I'm more drawn to eyes than boobs.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't bother messaging anyone now a days. I'm definitely not anyone's type so why waste their time

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By *unny ValentineCouple over a year ago

Crewe

Yes ! As a male half I always feel that C looks hot and desirable. I sometimes feel I've been lucky to be with a sexy lady and question if others in couples will find me attractive or if I let the side down.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I look at them and think hmmm, I wonder if they are desperate enough at the moment to want a fat middle aged woman, with dodgy knees."

Really?

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By *ex HolesMan over a year ago

Up North

At the end of the day we’re all the same lying down and all of our shit stinks so does it really matter?

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By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

"At the end of the day we’re all the same lying down and all of our shit stinks so does it really matter? "

Your boobs fall into your armpits when you lie down?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I always figure that someone I consider out of my league will be getting millions of messages so what’s the point. My meagre attempt will get lost or mass deleted.

That said, I have had the delight of chatting to and getting to know people on here I would definitely consider several leagues above my own. So you never know.

No harm in trying.

It’s a myth ....

Which bit?

Millions of messages .....

when I had my boobs as my profile photo I had double the messages I get with my eyes.

Fact is .... if you have a sexual photo, you’ll get a few messages

I’m resting my case

But your eyes are stunning! I’m very surprised you don’t get many messages.

Smooth

But I’m not exactly what the majority want on here.

I’m only in my own league

Yup. I’m a Smooth Criminal. However, it’s not about the majority. I would still guess that lots of people on here would love to spend time with you. And would message to say so.

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By *ex HolesMan over a year ago

Up North

"At the end of the day we’re all the same lying down and all of our shit stinks so does it really matter?

Your boobs fall into your armpits when you lie down? "

I wear a bra so they don’t

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By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

"At the end of the day we’re all the same lying down and all of our shit stinks so does it really matter?

Your boobs fall into your armpits when you lie down?

I wear a bra so they don’t

At all times? Dedicated!

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By *ex HolesMan over a year ago

Up North

"At the end of the day we’re all the same lying down and all of our shit stinks so does it really matter?

Your boobs fall into your armpits when you lie down?

I wear a bra so they don’t

At all times? Dedicated! "

I only get them out if you’re in my league

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I prefer to punish myself by looking at women's profiles and decided that the guy I am chatting to would rather chat to them...hours of fun "

I do this aswell.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I always figure that someone I consider out of my league will be getting millions of messages so what’s the point. My meagre attempt will get lost or mass deleted.

That said, I have had the delight of chatting to and getting to know people on here I would definitely consider several leagues above my own. So you never know.

No harm in trying.

It’s a myth ....

Which bit?

Millions of messages .....

when I had my boobs as my profile photo I had double the messages I get with my eyes.

Fact is .... if you have a sexual photo, you’ll get a few messages

I’m resting my case

when i first joined fab i used to be on and off again like a yoyo

regularly as a new user, before i had even had time to get a photo up, my profile written or my filters sorted i could have up to 100 messages

i know its a little different now because they make you photo verify as a new user before they drop you on local updates for all to see

but still it taught me that it doesn’t matter what content your profile has - if you profile says you have a vagina you will get messages

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By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

"I prefer to punish myself by looking at women's profiles and decided that the guy I am chatting to would rather chat to them...hours of fun

I do this aswell."

Me 3

Whether it be perter boobs, nicer outfits, or just more flirty than me in general.

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

Back in the day pre internet I wrote a letter to a girl I fancied and I gave a letter to the postman, he put it his sack, by early next morning, he brought my letter back

At least i tried though

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

when i was meeting i just messaged people i thought i was compatable woth. I dont go in for all this league table nonsense

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I always figure that someone I consider out of my league will be getting millions of messages so what’s the point. My meagre attempt will get lost or mass deleted.

That said, I have had the delight of chatting to and getting to know people on here I would definitely consider several leagues above my own. So you never know.

No harm in trying.

It’s a myth ....

Which bit?

Millions of messages .....

when I had my boobs as my profile photo I had double the messages I get with my eyes.

Fact is .... if you have a sexual photo, you’ll get a few messages

I’m resting my case

when i first joined fab i used to be on and off again like a yoyo

regularly as a new user, before i had even had time to get a photo up, my profile written or my filters sorted i could have up to 100 messages

i know its a little different now because they make you photo verify as a new user before they drop you on local updates for all to see

but still it taught me that it doesn’t matter what content your profile has - if you profile says you have a vagina you will get messages "

When you’re new , yes !!

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By *ad NannaWoman over a year ago

East London

"I look at them and think hmmm, I wonder if they are desperate enough at the moment to want a fat middle aged woman, with dodgy knees.

Really?"

Yea, everyone has a time when they drop their standards, don't they?

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Don't compare yourself unfavourably to other people

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It’s ALWAYS better to enquire & find out rather than not bother & never know

I’m sure this fear is why so many hot females don’t message me .... but they should always enquire LOL

YES....... the 2nd half of my post WAS a joke

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m going to send flirty messages to the men I want to meet after lockdown

Let’s see how this works

I have a vagina. I can travel

Go me

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I’m going to send flirty messages to the men I want to meet after lockdown

Let’s see how this works

I have a vagina. I can travel

Go me

Go Floro! Send flirts!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m going to send flirty messages to the men I want to meet after lockdown

Let’s see how this works

I have a vagina. I can travel

Go me

Go for it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m going to send flirty messages to the men I want to meet after lockdown

Let’s see how this works

I have a vagina. I can travel

Go me

Go Floro! Send flirts!

I shall

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Should Fab set up a Human League system?

More fabs/meets gets you to the top of the table etc. And I don’t mean getting onto page 1 of hot photos.

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By *ex HolesMan over a year ago

Up North

"I’m going to send flirty messages to the men I want to meet after lockdown

Let’s see how this works

I have a vagina. I can travel

Go me

Is it shaved?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Should Fab set up a Human League system?

More fabs/meets gets you to the top of the table etc. And I don’t mean getting onto page 1 of hot photos. "

Sweet lord no

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m going to send flirty messages to the men I want to meet after lockdown

Let’s see how this works

I have a vagina. I can travel

Go me

Is it shaved? "

Nope .... I plait

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I'm wary of posting this as last time I said anything on a thread like this it went really badly. But hey ho.

I pretty much assume that anyone I find attractive is "out of my league". History has shown me that even if that's the case, that doesn't mean they won't compliment me and even shag me, but it takes a lot for someone to make me believe they aren't just trying to throw one up the fat bird because it'll get their dick wet, as I must be desperate (I'm not).

Fab has given me more confidence and made me realise that actually there are some people who do genuinely want me for me, for the way I look and how I am, but it's still so hard for me to actually find the balls to send a first message, or even a wink, I'm convinced they'll be sat there wetting themselves laughing when they see it.

And what Lily said resonated with me, I often think about that. Although then I just think, hey, he's obviously getting something out of talking to me so why does it matter....

It's complicated having an overactive thought process and low confidence.

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By *HaRiFMan over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

sometimes

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I’m going to send flirty messages to the men I want to meet after lockdown

Let’s see how this works

I have a vagina. I can travel

Go me

Go Floro! Send flirts!

I shall

I'll be your wing woman. I'm good at that.

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By *nliveneTV/TS over a year ago

Selby

Is very rear that i msg someone if before haven't msg me or sent a wink first . I'm never the one who takes the first step i prefer wait , but is true many times i look to profiles and i think the same , but in other hand to me is not about the mrs or mrs mr couple perfect body , to me is more than that, is atraction plus connection , chemestry and personality

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm wary of posting this as last time I said anything on a thread like this it went really badly. But hey ho.

And what Lily said resonated with me, I often think about that. Although then I just think, hey, he's obviously getting something out of talking to me so why does it matter....

It's complicated having an overactive thought process and low confidence."

i hear ye!

for me when i had my profile visible it went in cycles of confidence boost from compliments and messages, eventual realisation that most of them were empty and just to get their dick wet, drop in confidence as couldn’t even believe genuine compliments anymore , steer clear of men for a bit, get horny, needy and lonely, find one that brought me back just enough confidence to start the cycle again

im trying slowly to learn not to attach my confidence to what other people say or think now which is bloody difficult as sometimes your own brain can be even more brutal

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm wary of posting this as last time I said anything on a thread like this it went really badly. But hey ho.

And what Lily said resonated with me, I often think about that. Although then I just think, hey, he's obviously getting something out of talking to me so why does it matter....

It's complicated having an overactive thought process and low confidence."

This place

Great for confidence at times, great for making you feel inadequate too

Not many on here are genuinely lovely plus have the looks too. To the one who truly deserves your time - he’ll see you for you, not just a vagina on a site like this

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

i hear ye!

im trying slowly to learn not to attach my confidence to what other people say or think now which is bloody difficult as sometimes your own brain can be even more brutal "

My brain is definitely my biggest detractor. And although I'm starting to be able to not attach my confidence to other people's views, actually sometimes that can be helpful, as more often than not it is other people's comments and views that have helped put us into this cycle in the first place. It's a fine line to walk and a scary road to begin on.

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I used to.

Time has taught me than a bloke when horny will fuck a ham sandwich so as long as I butter my flaps I stand a chance if I really want one."

Yup

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i hear ye!

im trying slowly to learn not to attach my confidence to what other people say or think now which is bloody difficult as sometimes your own brain can be even more brutal

its crazy isnt it that 10 people can say something good about you and you brush it off, play it down and think they were just trying to be nice

but it takes just one to say something negative and it burrows its way in deep and plants a seed to grow - what is it that is broken in our brains that we cant just brush it off , play it down and think oh they were just trying to be a dick

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By *aughtyandhandsomeMan over a year ago

button moon

"I’m going to send flirty messages to the men I want to meet after lockdown

Let’s see how this works

I have a vagina. I can travel

Go me

I'm sure you'll have a full mailbox of willing replies

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I know that I shouldn’t feel like this and I’ve told many people before who have asked the question that they shouldn’t ever feel like this ......but

... so many people are their own worst critic and have hang ups about some aspect or their personality which causes that little nagging thought at the back of your mind that your not “worthy” somehow.

I am definitely one such person and find that it often stops me from making a first move even though I know its silly to let it get in the way.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I disagree with leagues etc but I often think someone wouldn't be interested in me and don't message as a result.

Have been rejected enough times on here for it to put me off.

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

i hear ye!

im trying slowly to learn not to attach my confidence to what other people say or think now which is bloody difficult as sometimes your own brain can be even more brutal

its crazy isnt it that 10 people can say something good about you and you brush it off, play it down and think they were just trying to be nice

You know how when you're watching a tv program and the adverts come on, they're always so much louder?

It's designed to make you hear the advert and remember it after you've turned the programme off, and it usually works even sub consciously, partly because as a society we are conditioned to look for what we think we want.

The same thing happens with negative comments. We hear them louder and they settle in our subconscious because at some point, often without us realising when, something happened to make us believe we were not good enough for some reason, and our minds like being right. So they take the negative and use it to bolster that idea, proving to us that we are right and we are not good enough in whatever way.

The trick, and it isn't one I've mastered yet, is to hear the good and neutral things (the programme) at a sensible volume. Not to let it take over, as that way arrogance lies, but just to take them in. And to turn the critical and negative things (the adverts) right down. And when you don't manage to hit the volume button in time, you need to be able to say to yourself "I don't actually need that in my life", and put it to one side, leaving your brain free to involve itself in the programme again.

Like I say, I haven't been successful yet,but I'm working on it.

And if that load of babble made sense I'll be impressed.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’ve been told to say there are NO leagues, sorry for any confusion that may have lead to the impression there are leagues, when clearly I was wrong and there are in fact no such thing as ‘leagues’.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

All the time!

It puts me off replying too.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No harm in dropping anyone a message if your interests match and you like what you see and hear x

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By *ond Jimmy BondMan over a year ago

London

I’m top of the Vauxhall Conference league

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By *ixedDevilMan over a year ago

Bootyville

Nope. If I like the profile I message the person

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If I fancy them I message them. I don't expect them to fancy me back, but I would never find out if I didn't take the plunge.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I totally stand by what I originally said, someone told me to show faith in my original statement, please, no more questions at this time.

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By *elle xWoman over a year ago

Doire Theas

"I totally stand by what I originally said, someone told me to show faith in my original statement, please, no more questions at this time. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yesss this is me!! I have been speaking to the same few guys on here for 4 YEARS. I speak to them most nights. All local to me. Will I meet them?! No. It's like stage fright, being frozen to the same spot and not being able to move. I physically can't do it. They are all way out of my league. As soon as they mention it they know I'm gonna say no.

On the other hand a couple of guys I met just because I was horny, spontaneous, didn't think about it too much, I don't know what possessed me. They are hot and I always have a great time with them.

Still can't meet those other guys though

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

i hear ye!

im trying slowly to learn not to attach my confidence to what other people say or think now which is bloody difficult as sometimes your own brain can be even more brutal

its crazy isnt it that 10 people can say something good about you and you brush it off, play it down and think they were just trying to be nice

You know how when you're watching a tv program and the adverts come on, they're always so much louder?

Like I say, I haven't been successful yet,but I'm working on it.

And if that load of babble made sense I'll be impressed."

Made sense to me Posh . You'll get there one day xx

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I’m quite realistic about my chances so usually don’t bother wasting their time.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Leagues are made up in your own mind. I am better than no one and no one is better than me, we just all have different qualities and flaws.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman over a year ago

ashford

"No one is out of anyone’s league take the chance you never know

Everyone’s ideas of beauty are very different

Exactly! X

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Leagues are made up in your own mind. I am better than no one and no one is better than me, we just all have different qualities and flaws."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We feel like this a lot.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i hear ye!

im trying slowly to learn not to attach my confidence to what other people say or think now which is bloody difficult as sometimes your own brain can be even more brutal

its crazy isnt it that 10 people can say something good about you and you brush it off, play it down and think they were just trying to be nice

You know how when you're watching a tv program and the adverts come on, they're always so much louder?

Like I say, I haven't been successful yet,but I'm working on it.

And if that load of babble made sense I'll be impressed."

i did a course call STEPS a few years back and it talked about the psychology of how your conscious and subconscious works , scatomas and filtering out information you dont want so you can self confirm so i don’t think your post was babble at all

they even proved it over and over with examples linked to number or word games rather than opinions of yourself so you could see your brain working in action

where it fell down for me was the how you rewrite your subconscious so that what your brain seeks out to confirm is positive instead of negative or a way to get you where you want to be rather than stay where you currently are

apparently the way to do this is vision boards and repeating positive affirmations but you have to say things as though they are already true snd attach an emotion to them - it all got a bit too touchy feely for me at that point

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By *eah BabyCouple over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria

No, don’t see there can be leagues when everyone’s view on what’s attractive is different, you could be that persons ideal

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Well this has had a bigger response than I expected. Enjoyed reading some of the helpful comments and was also nice to see others have the same thought process. But I shall from now on always send that polite first message and see how things go. Just need to wait for someone to let us meet up in the flesh again

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

This is my twopennys worth on this ...

I like my body, i hate my face .

I'm one of the people on the forum that seem to have more confidence here than I actually have in real life .

I do struggle to comprehend how anyone finds me attractive at all , but , and heres the kicker , I'm a great judge of character and if ( and it's a big if ) someone does genuinely show that I am attractive ( as a person as well as physically) I am willing to accept that . If I would answered this pre fab ( 2013 or before ) it would be a very different answer and if I'm honest, I've met more genuine people on here than I ever did before .

I know I'm no bronzed Adonis with a 9 inch cock and abs that could stop a bus , but I've learnt attraction isnt all about that .

There is always somebody that will love your body and your mind .

And as my status said yesterday...

Be true to yourself and your light will shine through

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By *an4funMan over a year ago

london

"No. Leagues dont exist, attraction is there or its not.

there are exceptions to the rules sure but on the whole people gravitate to people similar to them, be that in terms of looks, interests, sexual desires etc "

Spot on.

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By *assing Fancies xCouple over a year ago

Sherwood Forest

Nope, they either like us or they don't

we don't get disheartened by rejection as we completely understand we won't be everyone's cup of tea

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By *orthernGinge-93Man over a year ago

Northeast

I totally agree with this! But I know I'll be someones type at some point, best keeping yourself out there and you'll get a message or a shout back at some point

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By *andsCouple over a year ago

Edin

No I don’t have leagues I either like them or not and I guess it’s the same with regards to others liking me x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sometimes you'll never know unless you ask, there are absolutely beautuful women on here so it can be easy to feel this way.

But it is all about your own view on things, state of mind.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No one is out of anyone’s league take the chance you never know

Everyone’s ideas of beauty are very different

I disagree. Some who have winked us have put on their on their profile " only fit and attractive need message us" why the fuck are they winking a late 50's cpl with age lumps and bumps for? We usually just delete as by their profile we are not in their league or what they are looking for.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You are not alone OP. We feel the same as some can look just by their pics make us feel we are not in their league.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No one is out of anyone’s league take the chance you never know

Everyone’s ideas of beauty are very different

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yep I think it all the time.

Especially if they're verified by gorgeous young slim women.

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By *elle xWoman over a year ago

Doire Theas

"No one is out of anyone’s league take the chance you never know

Everyone’s ideas of beauty are very different

To be honest I never wink anyone nor do I look at winks if someone is interested they will message I once winked a man by mistake when I was looking at his profile and got called a silly little girl

there is always going to be some people who are not interested in you but in a way that’s their loss not yours know your worth

there’s someone here for everyone they are not easy to find but when you do take that chance and it works out it’s so worth it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No.

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

There are certainly people we've chatted to on here who surprise me with the level of interest they have in us. We've done very well getting conversations going with people I (Luke) would think could do a lot better than a couple with me in it. It would never stop us from seeing what happens if we contact them. The results show it's well worth giving it a shot.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Do you ever look at a profile, read it and go hmm I like the sound of this person. Then looks at the pictures and then go. Nope way to beautiful/handsome, no way would they like me. So don't bother sending a message? Coz I know I do lol"
I don't think anyone should be put off because they think that photos are too good. At the end of the day no matter how nice the photos if you have the personality of a plank of wood then you will get no interaction regardless of how hot the photos are.. Go for it Op

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No one is out of anyone’s league take the chance you never know

Everyone’s ideas of beauty are very different

To be honest I never wink anyone nor do I look at winks if someone is interested they will message I once winked a man by mistake when I was looking at his profile and got called a silly little girl

there is always going to be some people who are not interested in you but in a way that’s their loss not yours know your worth

there’s someone here for everyone they are not easy to find but when you do take that chance and it works out it’s so worth it

When we were both on here as singles we both did well. Well jenny did better but thats to be expected when you are born with a fanny

but we are now an older cpl so will find it harder to meet the beautiful ones on here. We are looking for people we can click with so looks are not number one on the list.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've pretty stopped sending the first message altogether but I have received messages from people where I thought "Are you sure you meant to message me?"

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By *elle xWoman over a year ago

Doire Theas

"No one is out of anyone’s league take the chance you never know

Everyone’s ideas of beauty are very different

To be honest I never wink anyone nor do I look at winks if someone is interested they will message I once winked a man by mistake when I was looking at his profile and got called a silly little girl

there is always going to be some people who are not interested in you but in a way that’s their loss not yours know your worth

there’s someone here for everyone they are not easy to find but when you do take that chance and it works out it’s so worth it

When we were both on here as singles we both did well. Well jenny did better but thats to be expected when you are born with a fanny

but we are now an older cpl so will find it harder to meet the beautiful ones on here. We are looking for people we can click with so looks are not number one on the list. "

That’s what I meant when I said everyone’s ideas of beauty are different

for me it’s not all about looks it’s about a connection it’s about being pretty on the inside

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By *lansmanMan over a year ago

Sheffield

Often ....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

ALL the time. I never message anyone first.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yep 100% me. I feel like the troll under the bridge in here. Im 6ft 5 bald ( shaved head) and fill most door ways.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes I do this far too much, especially when I’ve recently had a less an encouraging experience with a guy.

However I have been pleasantly surprised multiple times and corrected about this negative thinking by some absolutely beautiful people.

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I think that everyone who has had this thought needs to try and remember that it's not just you. The imperfections you see in yourself will be the things that attract someone else to you. It's just about finding that person.

I say we rebel against our doubts and insecurities and say to hell with the leagues we create in our heads!

Send that message! Or even a wink! It could be the start of something beautiful. Or at least the start of a beautiful friendship.

And remember, no reply might mean not interested. But that isn't a reflection on you, it's a reflection on what that person is looking for.... and they might not even know themselves quite what it is they're looking for.

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By *oxychicWoman over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

nope there is no leagues , nobody as nothing to lose by sending a message ,

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By *onkyLemonsCouple over a year ago

Nottingham

If you don’t try, you’ll never know

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By *enuine MikeMan over a year ago

Guildford

Yep and this happens all too often. Im not one for wasting peoples time so I dont bother

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think it's only natural to doubt oneself. Confidence and a sence of humour are very attractive qualities but very hard to communicate via fab. Possibly stand more chance if you met these attractive people in the flesh and the mood was right. Meanwhile you can always window shop and hope someone stunning takes pity you (written by witty, confident, 999 key worker Male half of this profile

lol)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No one is out of anyone’s league take the chance you never know

Everyone’s ideas of beauty are very different

To be honest I never wink anyone nor do I look at winks if someone is interested they will message I once winked a man by mistake when I was looking at his profile and got called a silly little girl

there is always going to be some people who are not interested in you but in a way that’s their loss not yours know your worth

there’s someone here for everyone they are not easy to find but when you do take that chance and it works out it’s so worth it

When we were both on here as singles we both did well. Well jenny did better but thats to be expected when you are born with a fanny

but we are now an older cpl so will find it harder to meet the beautiful ones on here. We are looking for people we can click with so looks are not number one on the list.

That’s what I meant when I said everyone’s ideas of beauty are different

for me it’s not all about looks it’s about a connection it’s about being pretty on the inside

That is what we think also. Some can be beautiful on the outside but ugly within.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nope. I've shagged some handsome gym fit stunners that on paper are in a different body type level. But they happen to find chunky women attractive so its all good all round! We get on well and that's the main thing that matters.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

No one is out of your league. No one is out of anyone's league.......

That's defeatist talk .......

Message anyone that you fancy ......

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I used to.

Time has taught me than a bloke when horny will fuck a ham sandwich so as long as I butter my flaps I stand a chance if I really want one."

Do you remove the crusty bits though

LOL

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

I do find some (a lot) of people way out of my intellectual league. It wouldn't stop me wanting to meet them but I'd know that I couldn't match them if certain topics of conversation came up.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I can 100%relate to this at the moment ..I seem to have lost my sparkle and confidence during lockdown

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

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By *agneto.Man over a year ago

Bham

I see plenty who are out of my league, doesn't stop me from trying out for their team though.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I can 100%relate to this at the moment ..I seem to have lost my sparkle and confidence during lockdown

"
really? You look hot

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I do find some (a lot) of people way out of my intellectual league. It wouldn't stop me wanting to meet them but I'd know that I couldn't match them if certain topics of conversation came up. "

i think much like the physical attraction thing the intellectual thing is subjective ... yes i know its clearly measurable if someone is more educated or more well read , but if they only want to talk about greek philosophy while i am only interested in nicholas sparks novels then what use is their intellect to me anyway , even if both equally educated and one is all interested in art history while the other lives in the land of statistics how do they keep up with each others intellectual chat

i think its a compatibility of interests thing rather than a league of intellect

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes, especially if I'm near the top of their upper age limit #CrustyOldLady

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I used to.

Time has taught me than a bloke when horny will fuck a ham sandwich so as long as I butter my flaps I stand a chance if I really want one.

Do you remove the crusty bits though

LOL"

Peach's crusty cock is legendary....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I used to.

Time has taught me than a bloke when horny will fuck a ham sandwich so as long as I butter my flaps I stand a chance if I really want one.

Do you remove the crusty bits though

LOL"

And maybe a touch of mustard?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yep. I’m fat and not exactly stunningly pretty so I’m always self conscious meeting people. My worst fear is them regretting it because they don’t think I’m attractive haha

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nope

Read the profile, look at their veris, check their forum posts if they make them - there are usually clues there

If you feel confident, send a message

If that gets a conversation started, great

You can read messages to gauge interest

I can tell when someone is being polite and when they are interested

If I suspect politeness, I'll leave it alone, unless a social friendship might be plausible

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By *ake02Man over a year ago

liverpool

"I do find some (a lot) of people way out of my intellectual league. It wouldn't stop me wanting to meet them but I'd know that I couldn't match them if certain topics of conversation came up.

i think its a compatibility of interests thing rather than a league of intellect "

Couldn’t be more right

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No, but I read through a few of her posts and it becomes obvious she's quite sensible, so I don't bother....

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By *arker secrets 321Man over a year ago

West Bromwich

Yes but hope I can catch there eye enough 4 them 2 say hello .who dares wins .

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By *ookie46Woman over a year ago

Deepest darkest Peru

When I first joined here I definitely did but I soon realised there’s no leagues.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No, but I read through a few of her posts and it becomes obvious she's quite sensible, so I don't bother....

id imagine at 94 you are out of a fair few age limits never mind leagues

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By *hubster2016Man over a year ago

Harsh truth

I do it when I look at profiles and I’ve done it out in nightclubs etc over the last almost decade!

I always thought (helped by so called mates telling me to diet etc ) that no one would want someone like me, fat and ugly to the point I stopped going out.

It’s only recently I’m finding some women do like me for me and I’m trying to embrace and use that to get back out there.

If your happy in yourself go for it buddy you never know

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