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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Happy weekend all!
I’m sure it’s not just happened to me but just in case... How many people read a message and have to log off or leave the reply until later because of work/kids/pets/usual real life occurrences?
Then get abusive or passive aggressive messages asking why you haven’t replied?
I get a bit tired of men sending a msg, I read it and because I don’t reply immediately, they get all huffy!
I think it says on my bio that I single parent so presumably I do have other things to do.
How do you deal with this?
Do you mark it as unread? Do you send a quick msg saying you’ll reply properly later?
I don’t delete the messages I want to reply to, I keep them so when I do have time I can reply with a decent amount of interest.
Maybe it’s the age old... I’m on a sex site so I just be constantly gagging for cock  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It happens
The ‘ oh you’re not interested then’ or something similar
Ignore, block - gives you a sense of what that person could be like"
True.... he blocked me so I’ll never know but you’re right!
Fab is not a priority for me at the moment x |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
I once opened up my inbox after about 3 days to find one person had messaged me 17 times, getting more pissed off and ending up with getting quite abusive, because he had sent a really well thought out, pleasant first message and I'd not read it.
But because I had been online "all the fucking time" and not replied he assumed I was up myself, a dickhead, fat slag, all the usual.
Funny thing was, if he hadn't nagged and ranted and raved for the 16 messages after that first one, I'd have replied. I'm just crap with my inbox a lot of the time.
Lucky escape I reckon. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I once opened up my inbox after about 3 days to find one person had messaged me 17 times, getting more pissed off and ending up with getting quite abusive, because he had sent a really well thought out, pleasant first message and I'd not read it.
But because I had been online "all the fucking time" and not replied he assumed I was up myself, a dickhead, fat slag, all the usual.
Funny thing was, if he hadn't nagged and ranted and raved for the 16 messages after that first one, I'd have replied. I'm just crap with my inbox a lot of the time.
Lucky escape I reckon."
Definitely!
I see that as a sense of entitlement from his part... you’re on a site for sex, why wouldn’t you want to jump on his cock immediately 
I just annoys me grrrrrr |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"I mark it as unread. It feels rude to leave it read but not reply. Or sometimes I'd reply sorry busy, will reply later."
Ditto. It does depend on my relationship with that person. If I'm interested in talking to them I either wait until I have the headspace and time to message them (so leave unread) or send the above.
It's tricky though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I once opened up my inbox after about 3 days to find one person had messaged me 17 times, getting more pissed off and ending up with getting quite abusive, because he had sent a really well thought out, pleasant first message and I'd not read it.
But because I had been online "all the fucking time" and not replied he assumed I was up myself, a dickhead, fat slag, all the usual.
Funny thing was, if he hadn't nagged and ranted and raved for the 16 messages after that first one, I'd have replied. I'm just crap with my inbox a lot of the time.
Lucky escape I reckon."
Yeah. Sorry about that!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sending a message is very much like letting go of a balloon, once it’s gone into the ether it doesn’t belong to you anymore. But if one day that balloon lands back in your lap a few days later it’s a pleasant surprise. If it says ‘No thanks!’ On the balloon, pop the balloon and send up another one into orbit. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I mark it as unread. It feels rude to leave it read but not reply. Or sometimes I'd reply sorry busy, will reply later."
I suppose it depends how you use Fab.
I had already said I was busy and to give me a chance but obviously I wasn’t quick enough x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I open it, unless it's a rude message then I always reply. But it really depends how you want to manage your inbox. Replying means filters won't work in future, so some won't reply for that reason and I think that's totally fair.
If I haven't got time to reply, but plan to later, then I'll mark it as unread again to avoid the sender thinking I'm not interested. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sending a message is very much like letting go of a balloon, once it’s gone into the ether it doesn’t belong to you anymore. But if one day that balloon lands back in your lap a few days later it’s a pleasant surprise. If it says ‘No thanks!’ On the balloon, pop the balloon and send up another one into orbit. "
Agree but I don’t expect to get abuse though!
I hadn’t blocked him, I hadn’t been derogatory the first time he chased me.
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I think anyone who is going to get arsey with you for not replying to a message is probably not worth your time. If you messaged a friend would you expect an instant reply? I wouldn't, so I wouldn't expect one from a complete stranger on Fab...
It can be frustrating if you've sent a message and can see they are online, but it's not difficult to think maybe they are reading something in the forum, messaging someone else or just looking at pics... If it's a couple you also have to consider which one of them it is that is online... Patience is a virtue basically. If someone wants to reply to you, they will. If they don't they won't... simples |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I mark it as unread. It feels rude to leave it read but not reply. Or sometimes I'd reply sorry busy, will reply later.
Ditto. It does depend on my relationship with that person. If I'm interested in talking to them I either wait until I have the headspace and time to message them (so leave unread) or send the above.
It's tricky though. "
I do the same. However, reading a message and not getting back to someone never warrants abuse, OP. |
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"I think anyone who is going to get arsey with you for not replying to a message is probably not worth your time. If you messaged a friend would you expect an instant reply? I wouldn't, so I wouldn't expect one from a complete stranger on Fab...
It can be frustrating if you've sent a message and can see they are online, but it's not difficult to think maybe they are reading something in the forum, messaging someone else or just looking at pics... If it's a couple you also have to consider which one of them it is that is online... Patience is a virtue basically. If someone wants to reply to you, they will. If they don't they won't... simples "
Very much this 
Where is that sense of self entitlement coming from , I don't always reply immediately and I don't necessarily expect instant replies either . I do realise that people have a "real" life as do I ...
And that goes for friends and family too  |
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By *yronutMan
over a year ago
St Austell |
The more I read these posts the more I give up on my gender. I send an occasional message and rarely if ever get a reply. It matters not to me, I don’t feel offended. People do have other lives that mosty doesn’t revolve about sex.
FFS.....  BLOCK, BLOCK & BLOCK AGAIN |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I once opened up my inbox after about 3 days to find one person had messaged me 17 times, getting more pissed off and ending up with getting quite abusive, because he had sent a really well thought out, pleasant first message and I'd not read it.
But because I had been online "all the fucking time" and not replied he assumed I was up myself, a dickhead, fat slag, all the usual.
Funny thing was, if he hadn't nagged and ranted and raved for the 16 messages after that first one, I'd have replied. I'm just crap with my inbox a lot of the time.
Lucky escape I reckon.
Definitely!
I see that as a sense of entitlement from his part... you’re on a site for sex, why wouldn’t you want to jump on his cock immediately
I just annoys me grrrrrr"
I just think it's a shame that people think like it.... I'd they didn't they would probably do better |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I think I need to work out a better way to deal with my inbox, I do try and reply to all my messages but sometimes the volume of mail vs the time I have to respond just doesn’t equate.
But I always think there may be my diamond in the rough somewhere in my inbox!
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