FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Vanity and Loss

Vanity and Loss

By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Do you know you're vain?

I didn't think I was until faced with the loss of my hair. Now I am trying to imagine if anyone will find me attractive again.

It's not obvious yet - I have a lot of very big hair. Alopecia is running running rampant across my skull so it's only a matter of time before the patches show.

I've always understood men struggling with their hair loss but also found it odd that they didn't lean into it, and become more attractive, by just cropping it short. I love running my hand across a man's newly shaved head.

But, here I am being vain and wondering whether I can hang on to what I have.

Any and all thoughts welcome.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *wist my nipplesCouple over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"Do you know you're vain?

I didn't think I was until faced with the loss of my hair. Now I am trying to imagine if anyone will find me attractive again.

It's not obvious yet - I have a lot of very big hair. Alopecia is running running rampant across my skull so it's only a matter of time before the patches show.

But, here I am being vain and wondering whether I can hang on to what I have.

Any and all thoughts welcome."

Is that vanity, or loss of identity? I'd lean towards the latter. Sorry you're having to deal with it, OP.

Mrs kf x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I have just seen that the forum is full of hair-based posts! What are the chances? Is it the sign to open my profile (as I thought I'd do this weekend) or that I'm so behind the trend I should remain away?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Do you know you're vain?

I didn't think I was until faced with the loss of my hair. Now I am trying to imagine if anyone will find me attractive again.

It's not obvious yet - I have a lot of very big hair. Alopecia is running running rampant across my skull so it's only a matter of time before the patches show.

But, here I am being vain and wondering whether I can hang on to what I have.

Any and all thoughts welcome.

Is that vanity, or loss of identity? I'd lean towards the latter. Sorry you're having to deal with it, OP.

Mrs kf x"

I have been thinking about the loss of identity. I didn't realise I was this attached to my hair. I have always been of the view that whatever I do with it doesn't matter as it will grow back. Now it might not.

The vanity is that it shouldn't bother me. My identity, I thought, wasn't so tied to my appearance. It's a bit of a rude awakening.

Thanks for your condolences.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think it's natural to worry

I also think 'hair' is more of an issue for women than it is for me

It will undoubtedly increase your self consciousness & self awareness which, in turn, may knock your confidence

It will matter more to you than it will to others. Be mindful of that.

Hold on to your hair, consult stylists who specialise, but also look at alternative options

Be open about it - the more open you are, the less of an 'issue' it is

I'm sure others here will join me in saying that you (in particular) are so much more than your hair x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"...

I'm sure others here will join me in saying that you (in particular) are so much more than your hair x"

I know a lady with no hair, she has an amazing set of wigs. She has changed jobs and become a hairdresser and wig maker.

I always noticed your amazing friendly, welcoming smile before your hair OP. Xx

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"...

I'm sure others here will join me in saying that you (in particular) are so much more than your hair x

I know a lady with no hair, she has an amazing set of wigs. She has changed jobs and become a hairdresser and wig maker.

I always noticed your amazing friendly, welcoming smile before your hair OP. Xx "

My first impression was how lovely Lickety was, despite her exasperation at being lost for 2 hours

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I think it's natural to worry

I also think 'hair' is more of an issue for women than it is for me

It will undoubtedly increase your self consciousness & self awareness which, in turn, may knock your confidence

It will matter more to you than it will to others. Be mindful of that.

Hold on to your hair, consult stylists who specialise, but also look at alternative options

Be open about it - the more open you are, the less of an 'issue' it is

I'm sure others here will join me in saying that you (in particular) are so much more than your hair x"

Wise words, as always, Bussy.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"...

I'm sure others here will join me in saying that you (in particular) are so much more than your hair x

I know a lady with no hair, she has an amazing set of wigs. She has changed jobs and become a hairdresser and wig maker.

I always noticed your amazing friendly, welcoming smile before your hair OP. Xx "

Both are oversized.

I suppose wigs might be cooler without all this hair under there.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"...

I'm sure others here will join me in saying that you (in particular) are so much more than your hair x

I know a lady with no hair, she has an amazing set of wigs. She has changed jobs and become a hairdresser and wig maker.

I always noticed your amazing friendly, welcoming smile before your hair OP. Xx

My first impression was how lovely Lickety was, despite her exasperation at being lost for 2 hours

I was only tearing my hair out metaphorically then. Your patience is still appreciated.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *yrdsisWoman over a year ago

Gleam Street

"Do you know you're vain?

I didn't think I was until faced with the loss of my hair. Now I am trying to imagine if anyone will find me attractive again.

It's not obvious yet - I have a lot of very big hair. Alopecia is running running rampant across my skull so it's only a matter of time before the patches show.

But, here I am being vain and wondering whether I can hang on to what I have.

Any and all thoughts welcome."

Its not vanity... as you and others have said...its part of you.

I began having thinning hair about 12 years ago... not alopecia, but basically female pattern baldness.

I freaked out, cried a lot... then... and this is not a solution, just my solution,

Chopped the good bits to chin length, slightly side parted to hide the middle thinning (good hair flipped over the bald) and shaved the other side... I will eventually have to buy wigs... but I've been saving for a while.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

"Do you know you're vain?

I didn't think I was until faced with the loss of my hair. Now I am trying to imagine if anyone will find me attractive again.

It's not obvious yet - I have a lot of very big hair. Alopecia is running running rampant across my skull so it's only a matter of time before the patches show.

But, here I am being vain and wondering whether I can hang on to what I have.

Any and all thoughts welcome.

Is that vanity, or loss of identity? I'd lean towards the latter. Sorry you're having to deal with it, OP.

Mrs kf x

The vanity is that it shouldn't bother me. My identity, I thought, wasn't so tied to my appearance. It's a bit of a rude awakening.

Thanks for your condolences.

I was beaten to the loss of identity post!

It would be different if it was your choice Lickster, but having that choice taken away will also be playing havoc with your emotion towards it.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

My mum suffered with stress realopecia not long after she moved house. She had quite large bald spots all over her head which she was upset about (understandably). It did grow back but where her fringe is (she has always had short hair) the underneath layer is still bald (ish) but she has a bit of fine hair that covers it. I know she is still self conscious about it.

I would be upset, I think it’s natural to be. As women’s hair has always been sold to us by shampoo ads and marketing campaigns etc as an attractive feature blah blah blah.

But we ARE more than our hair. Just hard to remember that sometimes.

Could a Trichologist help at all?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Do you know you're vain?

I didn't think I was until faced with the loss of my hair. Now I am trying to imagine if anyone will find me attractive again.

It's not obvious yet - I have a lot of very big hair. Alopecia is running running rampant across my skull so it's only a matter of time before the patches show.

But, here I am being vain and wondering whether I can hang on to what I have.

Any and all thoughts welcome.

Its not vanity... as you and others have said...its part of you.

I began having thinning hair about 12 years ago... not alopecia, but basically female pattern baldness.

I freaked out, cried a lot... then... and this is not a solution, just my solution,

That sounds like a very chic solution. I'm sorry it hit you so young. I've always thought about female pattern baldness as something for older women.

Thanks for being solution focussed.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Do you know you're vain?

I didn't think I was until faced with the loss of my hair. Now I am trying to imagine if anyone will find me attractive again.

It's not obvious yet - I have a lot of very big hair. Alopecia is running running rampant across my skull so it's only a matter of time before the patches show.

But, here I am being vain and wondering whether I can hang on to what I have.

Any and all thoughts welcome.

Is that vanity, or loss of identity? I'd lean towards the latter. Sorry you're having to deal with it, OP.

Mrs kf x

The vanity is that it shouldn't bother me. My identity, I thought, wasn't so tied to my appearance. It's a bit of a rude awakening.

Thanks for your condolences.

I was beaten to the loss of identity post!

It would be different if it was your choice Lickster, but having that choice taken away will also be playing havoc with your emotion towards it.

Thank you! Choice is probably what is messing with the inside of my balding bonce. I need to make a proper choice about how I deal with this.

I didn't think Lent was going to be about losing my hair (it started last year) but it can be about me giving up my attachment.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"My mum suffered with stress realopecia not long after she moved house. She had quite large bald spots all over her head which she was upset about (understandably). It did grow back but where her fringe is (she has always had short hair) the underneath layer is still bald (ish) but she has a bit of fine hair that covers it. I know she is still self conscious about it.

I would be upset, I think it’s natural to be. As women’s hair has always been sold to us by shampoo ads and marketing campaigns etc as an attractive feature blah blah blah.

But we ARE more than our hair. Just hard to remember that sometimes.

Could a Trichologist help at all?

I'm waiting for test results. It might be my thyroid that's triggered this. It doesn't look like it's my lupus.

Although it started last year I ignored it as I was so busy and the NHS didn't need to add this to their waiting lists.

You're right, of course, about your mother and others - we don't really notice. I hope she gains confidence with her new look.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

"Do you know you're vain?

I didn't think I was until faced with the loss of my hair. Now I am trying to imagine if anyone will find me attractive again.

It's not obvious yet - I have a lot of very big hair. Alopecia is running running rampant across my skull so it's only a matter of time before the patches show.

But, here I am being vain and wondering whether I can hang on to what I have.

Any and all thoughts welcome.

Is that vanity, or loss of identity? I'd lean towards the latter. Sorry you're having to deal with it, OP.

Mrs kf x

The vanity is that it shouldn't bother me. My identity, I thought, wasn't so tied to my appearance. It's a bit of a rude awakening.

Thanks for your condolences.

I was beaten to the loss of identity post!

It would be different if it was your choice Lickster, but having that choice taken away will also be playing havoc with your emotion towards it.

Thank you! Choice is probably what is messing with the inside of my balding bonce. I need to make a proper choice about how I deal with this.

I didn't think Lent was going to be about losing my hair (it started last year) but it can be about me giving up my attachment.

I know it isn't the same as having your own hair, but if you wanted to go down the wig route you've unlimited styles to choose from. You could be a punk one day and Marylin Monroe the next. Arse length one day, a pixie cut the next. You can be as playful or as subtle as you want. You can experiment and have hair to match every outfit!

Btw....your beauty will shine whatever you decide.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *yrdsisWoman over a year ago

Gleam Street

I just went slightly bonkers over sensible... though I like chic... I'm promoting that!

As I say... it worked for me... turns out I suit it... you never know... something along those lines may suit you too.. if nothing else, its fun to surprise people

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I just went slightly bonkers over sensible... though I like chic... I'm promoting that!

As I say... it worked for me... turns out I suit it... you never know... something along those lines may suit you too.. if nothing else, its fun to surprise people

I used to rock whatever experimental style the hairdresser wanted to try when I was younger. Some worked and others didn't but... it would grow back.

I think choosing something 'slightly bonkers over sensible' was letting your personality out. That's always chic.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Any sort of drastic change to our appearance is tough to accept. In my head I still look 20 and it's a bit of a shock when I look in the mirror (or worse, see photos) and there's this grey haired woman looking back. I can't dye it because of allergies so have to accept the loss of colour. I put 3 stone on because of a particular medication a few years ago. The version of me in my head was still the 3 stone lighter Nell. As pp's have said, it's not merely a vanity issue, it's having our physical identity change without our consent.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think it would be extremely hard to lose hair, I don’t think you’re being vain at all, it’s more of a thing for women, as it’s more unusual.

As others have said, different wigs would be a way forward, but be kind to yourself, being upset is perfectly valid.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Have you ever had short hair? You could crop it maybe.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *yrdsisWoman over a year ago

Gleam Street

Short hair isn't a be all and end all... some of us are ok with it..not everyone is

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

My hair is pretty much the only bit of my outward appearance that I take particular care over so I know I would probably find it hard to lose it. I've had very thin hair on the top of my head ever since I had my son. I was 16. It's still incredibly thin at the crown but I've developed a style that covers it (just about). I still don't like it though and that's 18 years I've now lived with the thinning.

I've known ladies who lost all their hair due to chemo etc and they've used various methods to cover their heads - scarves, hats etc but of course, the hair has eventually grown back, although one lady has chosen to keep the "pixie cut" because she actually likes it more than her previous bouffant.

There are really good quality wigs, if that tickles your fancy or you could develop your own style with hats/scarves.

Ultimately, it's not a surprise you're finding the change tough and it's definitely not vanity. I agree with whoever said it's identity.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think it's natural to worry

I also think 'hair' is more of an issue for women than it is for me*

FFS

Typo alert

'Me' should read 'men'

I mean, both are true, but it sounded awfully self indulgent

I gave up my attachment to my hair years ago

Just as well really

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *andybeachWoman over a year ago

In the middle

Ahh this resonates with me, I’ve always had fine hair but lots of it, the last few years it has got thinner and finer, now I’m mid 50’s with hormones depleting it really has become noticeable, the same thing happened to my mother, she tried all sorts of lotions n potions and in the end resigned herself to wearing wigs, I think the gene runs through the women’s side of the family so give it a few more years and I too will probably brave the shave and wear a wig. I won’t lie it does bother me but my mother looks fantastic in hers so yeah it’s bothersome but not much can be done about it

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *tue555Man over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach

"Do you know you're vain?

I didn't think I was until faced with the loss of my hair. Now I am trying to imagine if anyone will find me attractive again.

It's not obvious yet - I have a lot of very big hair. Alopecia is running running rampant across my skull so it's only a matter of time before the patches show.

But, here I am being vain and wondering whether I can hang on to what I have.

Any and all thoughts welcome."

It is a tough one especially for the ladies. I lost pretty much all my hair at 21 in 80s when it was all about big hair and girls only were interested in guys who had hair like Simon Lebon. It was tough. I was lucky I got involved with people who took me as I was. Would imagine you would look great with short hair if that was necessary, its not an empty complement, it is just based on what I see. Look at me now I'm a trend setter just 20 years to late

it is the confidence of just being who you are and the rest will follow

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Any sort of drastic change to our appearance is tough to accept. In my head I still look 20 and it's a bit of a shock when I look in the mirror (or worse, see photos) and there's this grey haired woman looking back. I can't dye it because of allergies so have to accept the loss of colour. I put 3 stone on because of a particular medication a few years ago. The version of me in my head was still the 3 stone lighter Nell. As pp's have said, it's not merely a vanity issue, it's having our physical identity change without our consent."

I had the ageing shock a decade ago seeing a hand on the tube and realising it was mine.

I like the use of 'consent'. I did not consent to my scalp behaving like this.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I think it would be extremely hard to lose hair, I don’t think you’re being vain at all, it’s more of a thing for women, as it’s more unusual.

As others have said, different wigs would be a way forward, but be kind to yourself, being upset is perfectly valid. "

Thanks.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm sorry you're going through this OP x

I don't think it's vain at all - it must be really difficult for you.

But remember there are so many options to consider like awesome scarves and wigs!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *iamondCougarWoman over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"Do you know you're vain?

I didn't think I was until faced with the loss of my hair. Now I am trying to imagine if anyone will find me attractive again.

It's not obvious yet - I have a lot of very big hair. Alopecia is running running rampant across my skull so it's only a matter of time before the patches show.

But, here I am being vain and wondering whether I can hang on to what I have.

Any and all thoughts welcome.

Is that vanity, or loss of identity? I'd lean towards the latter. Sorry you're having to deal with it, OP.

Mrs kf x"

I’m sorry to hear your going through this Lickety

If it was me I’d feel the same but I also agree with loss of identity

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Have you ever had short hair? You could crop it maybe. "

I used to have very short hair, when I was young. I'd often go to a number 1 or 2.

If I cut it really short now it would expose the gaps. The length and volume hide the 50p sized gap above my right ear and the 10p sized gap above my left ear. The other gaps are smaller, at the moment, but I can't see what the look like at the back.

But, cutting it would make it easier to administer the cream, which might help.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ad NannaWoman over a year ago

East London

Hello Twinny.

My hair is thinning on top.

I put it down to my medication and hormones.

I'll be shaving mine off and buying wigs in rainbow colours

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"My hair is pretty much the only bit of my outward appearance that I take particular care over so I know I would probably find it hard to lose it. I've had very thin hair on the top of my head ever since I had my son. I was 16. It's still incredibly thin at the crown but I've developed a style that covers it (just about). I still don't like it though and that's 18 years I've now lived with the thinning.

There are really good quality wigs, if that tickles your fancy or you could develop your own style with hats/scarves.

Ultimately, it's not a surprise you're finding the change tough and it's definitely not vanity. I agree with whoever said it's identity."

It must have been difficult to be such a young mother and face such a big loss. It's great you found a style you're happy with. Thanks for sharing.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I think it's natural to worry

I also think 'hair' is more of an issue for women than it is for me*

FFS

Typo alert

'Me' should read 'men'

I mean, both are true, but it sounded awfully self indulgent

I gave up my attachment to my hair years ago

Just as well really

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Ahh this resonates with me, I’ve always had fine hair but lots of it, the last few years it has got thinner and finer, now I’m mid 50’s with hormones depleting it really has become noticeable, the same thing happened to my mother, she tried all sorts of lotions n potions and in the end resigned herself to wearing wigs, I think the gene runs through the women’s side of the family so give it a few more years and I too will probably brave the shave and wear a wig. I won’t lie it does bother me but my mother looks fantastic in hers so yeah it’s bothersome but not much can be done about it

Does knowing it's hereditary help you prepare or leave you wondering when your wig day will come?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *uxom redCouple over a year ago

Shrewsbury

After my chemo my hair thinned out a huge amout, i never lost it full.

It did make me think, i wasn't fully myself. As I've got older and having chemo for a second time i was more a long the lines of sod it if i loose my hair i can have different wigs for different occasions.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Do you know you're vain?

I didn't think I was until faced with the loss of my hair. Now I am trying to imagine if anyone will find me attractive again.

It's not obvious yet - I have a lot of very big hair. Alopecia is running running rampant across my skull so it's only a matter of time before the patches show.

But, here I am being vain and wondering whether I can hang on to what I have.

Any and all thoughts welcome.

it is the confidence of just being who you are and the rest will follow

It's good to find your tribe, and trendsetting is a good thing. I imagine it was hard for you. It's no comfort, but in the 80s, as a young woman, I liked bald men.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I'm sorry you're going through this OP x

I don't think it's vain at all - it must be really difficult for you.

But remember there are so many options to consider like awesome scarves and wigs!

I'm useless with scarves but I might start looking at wigs to prepare myself. I could finally have straight hair!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Do you know you're vain?

I didn't think I was until faced with the loss of my hair. Now I am trying to imagine if anyone will find me attractive again.

It's not obvious yet - I have a lot of very big hair. Alopecia is running running rampant across my skull so it's only a matter of time before the patches show.

But, here I am being vain and wondering whether I can hang on to what I have.

Any and all thoughts welcome.

Is that vanity, or loss of identity? I'd lean towards the latter. Sorry you're having to deal with it, OP.

Mrs kf x

I’m sorry to hear your going through this Lickety

If it was me I’d feel the same but I also agree with loss of identity"

Thanks, DC.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm sorry you're going through this OP x

I don't think it's vain at all - it must be really difficult for you.

But remember there are so many options to consider like awesome scarves and wigs!

I'm useless with scarves but I might start looking at wigs to prepare myself. I could finally have straight hair!"

YouTube tutorials

Omg straight glossy hair

You'll look amazing x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Hello Twinny.

My hair is thinning on top.

I put it down to my medication and hormones.

I'll be shaving mine off and buying wigs in rainbow colours

We could get matching wigs! They won't be able to tell us apart then.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

"I'm sorry you're going through this OP x

I don't think it's vain at all - it must be really difficult for you.

But remember there are so many options to consider like awesome scarves and wigs!

I'm useless with scarves but I might start looking at wigs to prepare myself. I could finally have straight hair!"

I have a few different bandanas in different colours, they're only a couple of quid each and can accessorise your make up look and outfit.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ad NannaWoman over a year ago

East London

"Hello Twinny.

My hair is thinning on top.

I put it down to my medication and hormones.

I'll be shaving mine off and buying wigs in rainbow colours

We could get matching wigs! They won't be able to tell us apart then.

How confusing for people

I'm quite liking the kingfisher blue or unicorn colours

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I'm sorry you're going through this OP x

I don't think it's vain at all - it must be really difficult for you.

But remember there are so many options to consider like awesome scarves and wigs!

I'm useless with scarves but I might start looking at wigs to prepare myself. I could finally have straight hair!

I have a few different bandanas in different colours, they're only a couple of quid each and can accessorise your make up look and outfit. "

My make-up look at the moment is to wear Zoom lipstick.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Hello Twinny.

My hair is thinning on top.

I put it down to my medication and hormones.

I'll be shaving mine off and buying wigs in rainbow colours

We could get matching wigs! They won't be able to tell us apart then.

How confusing for people

I'm quite liking the kingfisher blue or unicorn colours

We'll be so in demand on here if we're unicorns.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *andybeachWoman over a year ago

In the middle

Does knowing it's hereditary help you prepare or leave you wondering when your wig day will come? "

Prepared but resisting

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *wist my nipplesCouple over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"Do you know you're vain?

I didn't think I was until faced with the loss of my hair. Now I am trying to imagine if anyone will find me attractive again.

It's not obvious yet - I have a lot of very big hair. Alopecia is running running rampant across my skull so it's only a matter of time before the patches show.

But, here I am being vain and wondering whether I can hang on to what I have.

Any and all thoughts welcome.

Is that vanity, or loss of identity? I'd lean towards the latter. Sorry you're having to deal with it, OP.

Mrs kf x

The vanity is that it shouldn't bother me. My identity, I thought, wasn't so tied to my appearance. It's a bit of a rude awakening.

Thanks for your condolences.

A couple of years ago I got so fed up with regularly colouring the many greys in my naturally dark hair I thought I'd just stop, and grow the dye out. I got a few months in and hated it. I didn't feel like me - I wasn't ready for grey haired me! So on the advice of my hairdresser I went blonde and I love it - means the greys can grow in and be less obvious.

I gave myself a really hard time about it. Why did I feel so upset about going grey? It's perfectly natural. Was I doing what society thought I should, as a woman? Shouldn't I be sticking two fingers up and loving my natural grey? Then I thought, fuck should, this is how I feel about it and that's OK. I'm not always very good at accepting how I actually feel when I think I should be feeling differently.

So I guess my ramble is - be kind to yourself.

Mrs kf x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don’t think it’s vanity to want to feel attractive, hair is a big deal, we generally are unhappy about it a lot throughout our life.

I have a friend who has extensions and another who has weaves, they have hair thinning and both go to “medical” hairdressers to have these treatments.

It’s made a massive difference to their self esteem.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *wisted999Man over a year ago

North Bucks

Op my Sister had alopecia and it eventually grew back.

She dealt with it via some natty head scarves and styling.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

It's really a very tough thing, being something that you have always had and expected to have. My mum is really struggling, as hers is falling out in huge amounts and I see her struggle.

Certainly Lickety, I would recommend that you have a medical referral, to ensure that there's nothing influencing it that can be treated, to alleviate it partially or fully. I'm assuming that you've explored that.

Our hair is a powerful tool that we have. It helps us to communicate, shield and a lot more. It cuts us, losing it.

Consider whether there are any accessories that you could and would want to use, to regain some of what your hair has supported you with. Love yourself as strongly as you can xx

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Does knowing it's hereditary help you prepare or leave you wondering when your wig day will come?

Prepared but resisting

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Do you know you're vain?

I didn't think I was until faced with the loss of my hair. Now I am trying to imagine if anyone will find me attractive again.

It's not obvious yet - I have a lot of very big hair. Alopecia is running running rampant across my skull so it's only a matter of time before the patches show.

But, here I am being vain and wondering whether I can hang on to what I have.

Any and all thoughts welcome.

Is that vanity, or loss of identity? I'd lean towards the latter. Sorry you're having to deal with it, OP.

Mrs kf x

The vanity is that it shouldn't bother me. My identity, I thought, wasn't so tied to my appearance. It's a bit of a rude awakening.

Thanks for your condolences.

So I guess my ramble is - be kind to yourself.

Mrs kf x"

Thank you. We should all be kind to ourselves. You have found your boost and I will look for mine.

At the moment, the gaps actually mean the hair that is left is looking good, despite not being cut since 7 January 2020.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I don’t think it’s vanity to want to feel attractive, hair is a big deal, we generally are unhappy about it a lot throughout our life.

I have a friend who has extensions and another who has weaves, they have hair thinning and both go to “medical” hairdressers to have these treatments.

It’s made a massive difference to their self esteem.

Thanks, Roxi - off to look up 'medical' hairdressers.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Op my Sister had alopecia and it eventually grew back.

She dealt with it via some natty head scarves and styling.

I'm glad your sister's grew back. My GP did say it was a possibility, depending on the underlying cause. Hopefully, it's just stress related and my life changes enough to reduce that stress.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"It's really a very tough thing, being something that you have always had and expected to have. My mum is really struggling, as hers is falling out in huge amounts and I see her struggle.

Our hair is a powerful tool that we have. It helps us to communicate, shield and a lot more. It cuts us, losing it.

Consider whether there are any accessories that you could and would want to use, to regain some of what your hair has supported you with. Love yourself as strongly as you can xx"

Thanks, Sophie.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I hope you get all the support that you need x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Just a little update.

The two main hair loss sites are responding to the steroids and I have some tentative grey hairs in each patch.

New areas appear but are much smaller so I am hopeful they will respond quickly too.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just a little update.

The two main hair loss sites are responding to the steroids and I have some tentative grey hairs in each patch.

New areas appear but are much smaller so I am hopeful they will respond quickly too.

I'm chuffed for you Lickety

I trust next time we meet you will be full on Tina Turner x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

"Just a little update.

The two main hair loss sites are responding to the steroids and I have some tentative grey hairs in each patch.

New areas appear but are much smaller so I am hopeful they will respond quickly too.

Ah that’s good to hear Lickety

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *wisted999Man over a year ago

North Bucks

"Just a little update.

The two main hair loss sites are responding to the steroids and I have some tentative grey hairs in each patch.

New areas appear but are much smaller so I am hopeful they will respond quickly too.

Good news.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just a little update.

The two main hair loss sites are responding to the steroids and I have some tentative grey hairs in each patch.

New areas appear but are much smaller so I am hopeful they will respond quickly too.

That’s good to hear

BTW...I’m now a silver sister by choice, and it’s so nice to feel free of the never ending circle of hair dye..!x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My cousin has alopecia and wears amazing wigs. She is only in her 30s and found it very difficult at first. But she now rocks a few different styles and they look so good.

Me, my hair has been falling out due to my cancer treatment and I've not taken it well. But, I know it will grow back eventually, after my radiotherapy. I feel for you Lickety; it's definitely easier for men.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't really see what you're describing as vanity, but even if it was then there is absolutely nothing wrong with vanity. We all possess mirrors and follow fashion, drive fancy cars, decorate iu homes and feel sexy with certain clothes on and I think thats always going to be a good thing, to feel better about ourselves.

You my lovely are a star and I hope you feel better soon

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

» Add a new message to this topic