FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Lost Property Department
Lost Property Department
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The lost property department is open for business! 
What have you lost and I'll have a look to find it.
If not, I'll try and offer a replacement or some advice. 
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My marbles....lost them ages ago...can you help ? X"
They've been stolen by a Greek Stavros Flatley look a like.
You'll have to put a wig on and do some fancy dancing whilst dropping plates to summon him to appear and get them back. X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My Mojo  .
Please find it for me Cindi "
I never knew you called your dildo that.
I have a few selections available.
Any particular size and style you're after? |
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"My Mojo .
Please find it for me Cindi
I never knew you called your dildo that.
I have a few selections available.
Any particular size and style you're after?"
You are so knowledgeable you is . I'll take the 8" Slimline Anal one please  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If you happen to find my sanity while you're there.... "
I'll see what I can find. But I lost mine also.
So it's like the blind leading the blind, we both might fall into the pit.
Please have a coffee whilst I search, but please keep away from any scientific experiments in the meantime.
That's how evil baddies are made |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If there's any biscuits in there - they are mine please "
I've found some custard creams, I think these are yours.
But beware, I think some of the staff have been playing soggy biscuit this morning  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I've lost the plot
"
Are you sure you had it to begin with? 
Let me see now.....
..I've got the script for the new James Bond film, or can offer a nice allotment space.
Which plot would you like? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My virginity.
It was stollen from me years ago and I would like it back"
Do you know who stole it?
Technically you are a born again virgin now, given this last year.
Failing that I can book you in to become a Monk at the local monastery. But you have to be quiet also and can't fart at the dinner table |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My will to live. It went long time ago just can't find it."
Hang in there.
Things will get better.
It's been a tough year but our route to normality is starting to take effect with the vaccine program.
You also have your friends here to help and support you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I lost a red push-up bra in the greenhouse a while back. I was wearing a full length red satin dress and don’t usually wear it with a bra....
when I got dressed to leave’ the room’ I forgot I’d been wearing it  |
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"If there's any biscuits in there - they are mine please
I've found some custard creams, I think these are yours.
But beware, I think some of the staff have been playing soggy biscuit this morning "
Soggy biscuit?! How dare they |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"If you happen to find my sanity while you're there....
I'll see what I can find. But I lost mine also.
So it's like the blind leading the blind, we both might fall into the pit.
Please have a coffee whilst I search, but please keep away from any scientific experiments in the meantime.
That's how evil baddies are made "
Oh crap..... I thought the bubbling green mug was just a new type of coffee! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I've lost my coffee, hope somebody has handed it in as I'm going to need it today!"
I can give you a jar of coffee.
But it's just the cheap shite from Aldi as Steve decided to spend the rest of the petty cash on some lube for his get together with Alice from the Complaints Department. It's all we could afford. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Can you find something my parents must have lost.....?
A huge fortune and massive estate in the country with horses and stable girls.... I'll settle for the stable girls if the rest is a bit of a push....not that I have a fetish or anything like that |
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By *ermite12ukMan
over a year ago
Solihull and Brentwood |
I tend to lose my head, in the sense it's not screwed on. But if you find someone else's head, maybe another younger persons body as well. Maybe squash it in at the middle making me a bit thinner and taller.....I'm happy to swop. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I lost my black and gold bra at ClubF 2years ago.x"
What were you doing to lose a bra
I may have to visit this club personally to... erm.... look for it.
In the meantime I can provide an Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've lost so many clothes over the years Cindi, what's a boy to do?
If you can see your way to finding my Spiritualised hoodie and my Austalia Cricket team sun hat I'd bend over backwards to help return the favour.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My Mojo .
Please find it for me Cindi
I never knew you called your dildo that.
I have a few selections available.
Any particular size and style you're after?
You are so knowledgeable you is . I'll take the 8" Slimline Anal one please "
Slimline?
Slimline!
You'll have the King Kong 9" and take it like a bitch  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I lost a red push-up bra in the greenhouse a while back. I was wearing a full length red satin dress and don’t usually wear it with a bra....
when I got dressed to leave’ the room’ I forgot I’d been wearing it "
In the greenhouse you say?
Perhaps the tomato plants stole it because they kept seeing the salad dressing and they felt left out.
I've already given a bikini away so I'm afraid we only have mankinis in stock. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If there's any biscuits in there - they are mine please
I've found some custard creams, I think these are yours.
But beware, I think some of the staff have been playing soggy biscuit this morning
Soggy biscuit?! How dare they"
It gives custard creams a whole new meaning |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If you happen to find my sanity while you're there....
I'll see what I can find. But I lost mine also.
So it's like the blind leading the blind, we both might fall into the pit.
Please have a coffee whilst I search, but please keep away from any scientific experiments in the meantime.
That's how evil baddies are made
Oh crap..... I thought the bubbling green mug was just a new type of coffee!"
If you start getting sudden urges to take over the world and develop an evil laugh please let me know.
I'll make an emergency appointment for you with the Rehabilitation of Crazies Department.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Can you find something my parents must have lost.....?
A huge fortune and massive estate in the country with horses and stable girls.... I'll settle for the stable girls if the rest is a bit of a push....not that I have a fetish or anything like that "
Sorry, this is lost property.
You need the Wishful Thinking Department on the next floor up.
They work the first Monday on every third month that doesn't end in a 'Y'
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I tend to lose my head, in the sense it's not screwed on. But if you find someone else's head, maybe another younger persons body as well. Maybe squash it in at the middle making me a bit thinner and taller.....I'm happy to swop. "
Thinner and taller?
Hmmmm
I think we have Jacob Rees-Mogg available. But he acts like he's living in the 1800s, travels by coach and horse and writes with a quill.
He's very loyal to his employer though, so that may be a good point |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I lost my Ferrari. I'm sure it was here somewhere. I seem to have misplaced the key and the V5 too. "
MacDreamy by name.
MacDreamy by nature
I'm afraid you set off our lie detector alarms when you entered.
But no one leaves empty handed.
Please help yourself to a homemade custard cream |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I've lost so many clothes over the years Cindi, what's a boy to do?
If you can see your way to finding my Spiritualised hoodie and my Austalia Cricket team sun hat I'd bend over backwards to help return the favour.
"
You are in luck!
These were handed in yesterday.
Come, follow me into the store cupboard and I'll get them for you.
As far as bending over backwards is concerned, you'll need to bend over forwards and drop your pants |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Socks and socks and some socks...oh and some socks"
I wonder what you are doing to go through so many socks?
We don't have any socks I'm afraid but I'll give you some lube from my own personal stock. X |
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By *ermite12ukMan
over a year ago
Solihull and Brentwood |
"Hmmmm
I think we have Jacob Rees-Mogg available. But he acts like he's living in the 1800s, travels by coach and horse and writes with a quill.
He's very loyal to his employer though, so that may be a good point "
I do tend to fall asleep on (the front) benches |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"If you happen to find my sanity while you're there....
I'll see what I can find. But I lost mine also.
So it's like the blind leading the blind, we both might fall into the pit.
Please have a coffee whilst I search, but please keep away from any scientific experiments in the meantime.
That's how evil baddies are made
Oh crap..... I thought the bubbling green mug was just a new type of coffee!
If you start getting sudden urges to take over the world and develop an evil laugh please let me know.
I'll make an emergency appointment for you with the Rehabilitation of Crazies Department. "
I think they're backed up.... I was put on the waiting list a while back |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My sanity lol"
Did you not allow the experiment to finish completely before the transformation was complete?
Why did you stop it early?
_xydadbod what has happened to you?
_xydadbod what have you become?
Nooooooooo!
*Cindi makes a call for the men in white coats to take him away* |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hmmmm
I think we have Jacob Rees-Mogg available. But he acts like he's living in the 1800s, travels by coach and horse and writes with a quill.
He's very loyal to his employer though, so that may be a good point
I do tend to fall asleep on (the front) benches"
Sounds like a perfect match |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The lost property department is open for business!
What have you lost and I'll have a look to find it.
If not, I'll try and offer a replacement or some advice.
"
You got my mind back there? I'm a dope and seem to have lost mine |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If you happen to find my sanity while you're there....
I'll see what I can find. But I lost mine also.
So it's like the blind leading the blind, we both might fall into the pit.
Please have a coffee whilst I search, but please keep away from any scientific experiments in the meantime.
That's how evil baddies are made
Oh crap..... I thought the bubbling green mug was just a new type of coffee!
If you start getting sudden urges to take over the world and develop an evil laugh please let me know.
I'll make an emergency appointment for you with the Rehabilitation of Crazies Department.
I think they're backed up.... I was put on the waiting list a while back"
I'll get my people to call their people and rush it through.
Time is of the essence.
It was too late for _xydadbod, but there's still time to save you |
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"I lost my Ferrari. I'm sure it was here somewhere. I seem to have misplaced the key and the V5 too.
MacDreamy by name.
MacDreamy by nature
I'm afraid you set off our lie detector alarms when you entered.
But no one leaves empty handed.
Please help yourself to a homemade custard cream "
Thanks, I think. How do you make the cream filling? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Lost My Way
Think Frank took it "
Hes always taking people's way.
He even took Howard's Way
I'll make a call to Peter Kay.
He can show you the way to
amarillo |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I lost a red push-up bra in the greenhouse a while back. I was wearing a full length red satin dress and don’t usually wear it with a bra....
when I got dressed to leave’ the room’ I forgot I’d been wearing it
In the greenhouse you say?
Perhaps the tomato plants stole it because they kept seeing the salad dressing and they felt left out.
I've already given a bikini away so I'm afraid we only have mankinis in stock. "
I’m not sure I’d want to try a mankini. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I've lost my libido too. I put it in a safe place to over-winter and now I can't remember where that is. Cindi, send help "
This is easily rectified.
I recommend you make a thread requesting the appearance of torso's, butts, thighs and black n white naked ironing pictures.
That will get, erm, the juices flowing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can you find something my parents must have lost.....?
A huge fortune and massive estate in the country with horses and stable girls.... I'll settle for the stable girls if the rest is a bit of a push....not that I have a fetish or anything like that
Sorry, this is lost property.
You need the Wishful Thinking Department on the next floor up.
They work the first Monday on every third month that doesn't end in a 'Y'
"
I had a dream but now Ive lost that as well  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The lost property department is open for business!
What have you lost and I'll have a look to find it.
If not, I'll try and offer a replacement or some advice.
You got my mind back there? I'm a dope and seem to have lost mine"
Have you lost it, or has it been taken over by the lizard people?
We're you wearing the YouTube recommended tin foil hat at the time?
More information is required to assist please. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I lost my Ferrari. I'm sure it was here somewhere. I seem to have misplaced the key and the V5 too.
MacDreamy by name.
MacDreamy by nature
I'm afraid you set off our lie detector alarms when you entered.
But no one leaves empty handed.
Please help yourself to a homemade custard cream
Thanks, I think. How do you make the cream filling? "
I'll need to check with Steve. He's our cook.
But he's currently having a rest. Says he's tired out. No idea why  |
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"My Mojo .
Please find it for me Cindi
I never knew you called your dildo that.
I have a few selections available.
Any particular size and style you're after?
You are so knowledgeable you is . I'll take the 8" Slimline Anal one please
Slimline?
Slimline!
You'll have the King Kong 9" and take it like a bitch "
Ouchie |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Lost My Way
Think Frank took it
Hes always taking people's way.
He even took Howard's Way
I'll make a call to Peter Kay.
He can show you the way to
amarillo "
Cheers Cindi, always happy to go down South |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I lost a red push-up bra in the greenhouse a while back. I was wearing a full length red satin dress and don’t usually wear it with a bra....
when I got dressed to leave’ the room’ I forgot I’d been wearing it
In the greenhouse you say?
Perhaps the tomato plants stole it because they kept seeing the salad dressing and they felt left out.
I've already given a bikini away so I'm afraid we only have mankinis in stock.
I’m not sure I’d want to try a mankini. "
That's understandable.
To be honest I don't blame you. They were handed in by Wookiedad
Have a look in our bodystocking cupboard and see if there's anything you like. X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’ve lost my motivation .... if found can you drop it off tomorrow  "
You are in luck!
Our Procrastination Department has located it and will deliver it by carrier pigeon.
(Please feed pigeon or he won't make it home ) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Can you find something my parents must have lost.....?
A huge fortune and massive estate in the country with horses and stable girls.... I'll settle for the stable girls if the rest is a bit of a push....not that I have a fetish or anything like that
Sorry, this is lost property.
You need the Wishful Thinking Department on the next floor up.
They work the first Monday on every third month that doesn't end in a 'Y'
I had a dream but now Ive lost that as well "
Don't make me ring security!
They have punishment techniques that put my alien abduction to shame |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My Mojo .
Please find it for me Cindi
I never knew you called your dildo that.
I have a few selections available.
Any particular size and style you're after?
You are so knowledgeable you is . I'll take the 8" Slimline Anal one please
Slimline?
Slimline!
You'll have the King Kong 9" and take it like a bitch
Ouchie "
Failing that, there's always "the fishbowl" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I lost a red push-up bra in the greenhouse a while back. I was wearing a full length red satin dress and don’t usually wear it with a bra....
when I got dressed to leave’ the room’ I forgot I’d been wearing it
In the greenhouse you say?
Perhaps the tomato plants stole it because they kept seeing the salad dressing and they felt left out.
I've already given a bikini away so I'm afraid we only have mankinis in stock.
I’m not sure I’d want to try a mankini.
That's understandable.
To be honest I don't blame you. They were handed in by Wookiedad
Have a look in our bodystocking cupboard and see if there's anything you like. X"
Off to check. Last time I rummaged through a lost property box I was at school and ended up in ‘Stanley Mathews’ style shorts..... it wasn’t a look I carried off well |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Lost My Way
Think Frank took it
Hes always taking people's way.
He even took Howard's Way
I'll make a call to Peter Kay.
He can show you the way to
amarillo
Cheers Cindi, always happy to go down South "
Yes, it's warmer, but can have it's wet seasons also |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"A Corgi toy space shuttle, buried in the back garden some time in 1983 "
I'm sure a time capsule was handed in last month.
I think it had some VHS tapes in it, but no player so you can't watch them. |
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By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago
Milton keynes |
"My sanity lol
Did you not allow the experiment to finish completely before the transformation was complete?
Why did you stop it early?
_xydadbod what has happened to you?
_xydadbod what have you become?
Nooooooooo!
*Cindi makes a call for the men in white coats to take him away*"
No, not the men in white coats
Well, don't expect me to cum quietly lol
Sorry I just had to go there haha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I lost a red push-up bra in the greenhouse a while back. I was wearing a full length red satin dress and don’t usually wear it with a bra....
when I got dressed to leave’ the room’ I forgot I’d been wearing it
In the greenhouse you say?
Perhaps the tomato plants stole it because they kept seeing the salad dressing and they felt left out.
I've already given a bikini away so I'm afraid we only have mankinis in stock.
I’m not sure I’d want to try a mankini.
That's understandable.
To be honest I don't blame you. They were handed in by Wookiedad
Have a look in our bodystocking cupboard and see if there's anything you like. X
Off to check. Last time I rummaged through a lost property box I was at school and ended up in ‘Stanley Mathews’ style shorts..... it wasn’t a look I carried off well "
Is that the style with the string, so they wouldn't fall down? We had them also |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My sanity lol
Did you not allow the experiment to finish completely before the transformation was complete?
Why did you stop it early?
_xydadbod what has happened to you?
_xydadbod what have you become?
Nooooooooo!
*Cindi makes a call for the men in white coats to take him away*
No, not the men in white coats
Well, don't expect me to cum quietly lol
Sorry I just had to go there haha"
I'm afraid so.
Your future is now locked in a country house playing connect 4 with yourself whilst rocking back n forth and murmuring |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The lost property department is open for business!
What have you lost and I'll have a look to find it.
If not, I'll try and offer a replacement or some advice.
"
I lost the love of my life while I desperately clung onto a bit of wood floating in the cold ocean.....
It all started aboard a ship abound for the US......
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The lost property department is open for business!
What have you lost and I'll have a look to find it.
If not, I'll try and offer a replacement or some advice.
I lost the love of my life while I desperately clung onto a bit of wood floating in the cold ocean.....
It all started aboard a ship abound for the US......
"
That's because you spent too much time dancing about and shagging in a car.
This wasted valuable time when you should have been near the lifeboats.
But, no.
You thought getting a nude painting done was more important. 
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I lost a red push-up bra in the greenhouse a while back. I was wearing a full length red satin dress and don’t usually wear it with a bra....
when I got dressed to leave’ the room’ I forgot I’d been wearing it
In the greenhouse you say?
Perhaps the tomato plants stole it because they kept seeing the salad dressing and they felt left out.
I've already given a bikini away so I'm afraid we only have mankinis in stock.
I’m not sure I’d want to try a mankini.
That's understandable.
To be honest I don't blame you. They were handed in by Wookiedad
Have a look in our bodystocking cupboard and see if there's anything you like. X
Off to check. Last time I rummaged through a lost property box I was at school and ended up in ‘Stanley Mathews’ style shorts..... it wasn’t a look I carried off well
Is that the style with the string, so they wouldn't fall down? We had them also "
Yep. I’m not surprised someone had ‘lost’ them |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hiya Cindi, I've lost ma pet house spider, I've checked behind the radiator and everything "
Have you checked in your ear?
Apparently house spiders like to go there when we are asleep.
Failing that, he could be mating with a deadly poisonous spider that arrived with your bananas.
I'm sure everything will be ok |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The lost property department is open for business!
What have you lost and I'll have a look to find it.
If not, I'll try and offer a replacement or some advice.
I lost the love of my life while I desperately clung onto a bit of wood floating in the cold ocean.....
It all started aboard a ship abound for the US......
That's because you spent too much time dancing about and shagging in a car.
This wasted valuable time when you should have been near the lifeboats.
But, no.
You thought getting a nude painting done was more important.
"
That's right, I fell in love after shagging in the car... We'll come back to this bit.
I drew the boob picture because i'm dam good at drawing tits.
I spent years studying the breast so I could become an expert at porn drawing. Don't you dare grip my pencil unless you plan on using it!
.... So I thought... If I just give her these loving eyes she might let me take her up the......
Fucking handcuffs! for fucks sake woman, get mine off not put yours on... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My virginity.
It was stollen from me years ago and I would like it back
Do you know who stole it?
Technically you are a born again virgin now, given this last year.
Failing that I can book you in to become a Monk at the local monastery. But you have to be quiet also and can't fart at the dinner table "
Monk please. being celibate is a dawdle
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The lost property department is open for business!
What have you lost and I'll have a look to find it.
If not, I'll try and offer a replacement or some advice.
I lost the love of my life while I desperately clung onto a bit of wood floating in the cold ocean.....
It all started aboard a ship abound for the US......
That's because you spent too much time dancing about and shagging in a car.
This wasted valuable time when you should have been near the lifeboats.
But, no.
You thought getting a nude painting done was more important.
That's right, I fell in love after shagging in the car... We'll come back to this bit.
I drew the boob picture because i'm dam good at drawing tits.
I spent years studying the breast so I could become an expert at porn drawing. Don't you dare grip my pencil unless you plan on using it!
.... So I thought... If I just give her these loving eyes she might let me take her up the......
Fucking handcuffs! for fucks sake woman, get mine off not put yours on..."
*Cindi backs away from the desk slowly and presses the panic button* |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My virginity.
It was stollen from me years ago and I would like it back
Do you know who stole it?
Technically you are a born again virgin now, given this last year.
Failing that I can book you in to become a Monk at the local monastery. But you have to be quiet also and can't fart at the dinner table
Monk please. being celibate is a dawdle
"
Did I also mention they don't allow you to terrorise and blow random stuff up |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"If you happen to find my sanity while you're there....
I'll see what I can find. But I lost mine also.
So it's like the blind leading the blind, we both might fall into the pit.
Please have a coffee whilst I search, but please keep away from any scientific experiments in the meantime.
That's how evil baddies are made
Oh crap..... I thought the bubbling green mug was just a new type of coffee!
If you start getting sudden urges to take over the world and develop an evil laugh please let me know.
I'll make an emergency appointment for you with the Rehabilitation of Crazies Department.
I think they're backed up.... I was put on the waiting list a while back
I'll get my people to call their people and rush it through.
Time is of the essence.
It was too late for _xydadbod, but there's still time to save you "
You're an angel Cindi.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My virginity.
It was stollen from me years ago and I would like it back
Do you know who stole it?
Technically you are a born again virgin now, given this last year.
Failing that I can book you in to become a Monk at the local monastery. But you have to be quiet also and can't fart at the dinner table
Monk please. being celibate is a dawdle
Did I also mention they don't allow you to terrorise and blow random stuff up "
but what about the ninja monk assasins? dont they get to do that?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My virginity.
It was stollen from me years ago and I would like it back
Do you know who stole it?
Technically you are a born again virgin now, given this last year.
Failing that I can book you in to become a Monk at the local monastery. But you have to be quiet also and can't fart at the dinner table
Monk please. being celibate is a dawdle
Did I also mention they don't allow you to terrorise and blow random stuff up
but what about the ninja monk assasins? dont they get to do that?
"
Now there's a thought.
You could be their leader and train them in the ways of Wonko |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My dignity, lost around the same time as my sanity."
Fear not.
I have a magic potion that will solve this.
However, I'll need you sign this disclaimer after the last 'incident'
You'll be feeling better in no time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My virginity.
It was stollen from me years ago and I would like it back
Do you know who stole it?
Technically you are a born again virgin now, given this last year.
Failing that I can book you in to become a Monk at the local monastery. But you have to be quiet also and can't fart at the dinner table
Monk please. being celibate is a dawdle
Did I also mention they don't allow you to terrorise and blow random stuff up
but what about the ninja monk assasins? dont they get to do that?
Now there's a thought.
You could be their leader and train them in the ways of Wonko "
make them even more deadly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've lost my libido too. I put it in a safe place to over-winter and now I can't remember where that is. Cindi, send help "
I'll send you a couple of horny photos later. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My virginity.
It was stollen from me years ago and I would like it back
Do you know who stole it?
Technically you are a born again virgin now, given this last year.
Failing that I can book you in to become a Monk at the local monastery. But you have to be quiet also and can't fart at the dinner table
Monk please. being celibate is a dawdle
Did I also mention they don't allow you to terrorise and blow random stuff up
but what about the ninja monk assasins? dont they get to do that?
Now there's a thought.
You could be their leader and train them in the ways of Wonko
make them even more deadly "
Just make sure there's no collateral damage please |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've lost my libido too. I put it in a safe place to over-winter and now I can't remember where that is. Cindi, send help
I'll send you a couple of horny photos later."
Thank you for your assistance Jim |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I've lost my feet.
I look down and I can't seem to see them.
I'm sure they were there last year."
You are in luck.
The second hand shop expanded its business into feet and had some spare stock.
I'll get you some new ones, but we may only have left feet available.
So you won't be able to dance with 2 left feet I'm afraid |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've lost so many clothes over the years Cindi, what's a boy to do?
If you can see your way to finding my Spiritualised hoodie and my Austalia Cricket team sun hat I'd bend over backwards to help return the favour.
You are in luck!
These were handed in yesterday.
Come, follow me into the store cupboard and I'll get them for you.
As far as bending over backwards is concerned, you'll need to bend over forwards and drop your pants "
You're all give, Cindi. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've lost so many clothes over the years Cindi, what's a boy to do?
If you can see your way to finding my Spiritualised hoodie and my Austalia Cricket team sun hat I'd bend over backwards to help return the favour.
You are in luck!
These were handed in yesterday.
Come, follow me into the store cupboard and I'll get them for you.
As far as bending over backwards is concerned, you'll need to bend over forwards and drop your pants
You're all give, Cindi. "
Don't forget to fill in the customer satisfaction survey before you leave |
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