FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > If your pet was a criminal
If your pet was a criminal
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
What would their crime be?
My cats would be planning a heist of the next delivery of Dreamies. What the heck's in those things? They go mad for them.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Our dog would definitely be a thief. Or perhaps shoplifter? Mostly shoes, children’s toys and food  "
Yeah, that old chestnut. You've trained it to swipe those items. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My rabbit would be just a typical hooligan. Destroying it's own property and others "
You know what rabbits get upto. Your lucky you don't have hundreds. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I can only say what Cuthbert the cat WON'T be......a cat burglar. Cos he huge & clumsy. Not an ounce of stealth in him "
My Tom is a big well lunched loafer. Ridiculous striped bushy tail. Could have been a movie star but far too lazy. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I can only say what Cuthbert the cat WON'T be......a cat burglar. Cos he huge & clumsy. Not an ounce of stealth in him
My Tom is a big well lunched loafer. Ridiculous striped bushy tail. Could have been a movie star but far too lazy. "
Aw, I love Toms. So much more affectionate that queens - who are basically bitches
Is your Tom also a scaredy-cat? Cuthbert gets bullied by the kittens next door  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Stalker. Constantly keeping an eye on me.
No that's me.
I bet you didn't notice that... 
I'm no stalker. I stand on two legs.  "
Guess what. She is capable of that too.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I can only say what Cuthbert the cat WON'T be......a cat burglar. Cos he huge & clumsy. Not an ounce of stealth in him
My Tom is a big well lunched loafer. Ridiculous striped bushy tail. Could have been a movie star but far too lazy.
Aw, I love Toms. So much more affectionate that queens - who are basically bitches
Is your Tom also a scaredy-cat? Cuthbert gets bullied by the kittens next door "
Oh yes. His sister Tabby is the boss. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Ma last Border Collie was called Spider, he was not only a "Houdini ", but also a kleptomaniac. I got him to take most things back that he had robbed off ma neighbours in the village, but nobody accepted a garden gnome back, which I had to keep for the next 15 years  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
One of my dogs is too stupid and would get caught shop lifting in a sweet shop
The other is a master. Distraction burglary is his thing. And I think he'd never get caught |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ma last Border Collie was called Spider, he was not only a "Houdini ", but also a kleptomaniac. I got him to take most things back that he had robbed off ma neighbours in the village, but nobody accepted a garden gnome back, which I had to keep for the next 15 years "
Did he have his way with the gnome? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
My twin bulldogs are always plotting something... their crime would be akin to gangster style dealings of bonios and kibble...
Mob bosses of biscuits if you will. They have a staffy henchman and a frenchie dogsbody (It's the little ones you have to look out for!)
It's an organisation I tell you!
If I don't check in in 24 hours send help! I'll probably have been buried in the garden |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"One of my dogs is too stupid and would get caught shop lifting in a sweet shop
The other is a master. Distraction burglary is his thing. And I think he'd never get caught "
Could he do a man a kindness and steal your assets to me for a few hours. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My GSD would instigate a riot, but then he'd abandon it for snoozles as the chaos unfolded  "
Ohh, a cause trouble and watch from safety sort. Cunning. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My GSD would instigate a riot, but then he'd abandon it for snoozles as the chaos unfolded
Ohh, a cause trouble and watch from safety sort. Cunning. "
That would be him |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My dog for letting off stink bombs.
One of my cats for being a trip hazard!
My kitten would need an asbo cos he's a little shit. Let him out and he cries to come in. Get him in and he cries to go out! Hoons round like a loon, steals things, you name it! Then falls asleep on my chest! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My GSD would instigate a riot, but then he'd abandon it for snoozles as the chaos unfolded
I don't believe you. He looks far too innocent! X"
Oh Red, don't be fooled by his big brown eyes and cute fuzzy face! He is the master of malarkey.
He lights the fuse then off to snooze |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My dog for letting off stink bombs.
One of my cats for being a trip hazard!
My kitten would need an asbo cos he's a little shit. Let him out and he cries to come in. Get him in and he cries to go out! Hoons round like a loon, steals things, you name it! Then falls asleep on my chest!"
Ah, your kitten is no fool. Sleeping on your chest, genius. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Stalking and harrassment.
She is layed with me now, she goes to the toilet with me, she is my biggest fan when I eat even though she hardly ever wants any, and she nudges and bumps into me.
If I do anything like sewing, she comes and bats things off the table  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
My two ferrets already are
ferret means theif - and yes they live up to there name, I find my belongings in the most random places. one even took the mop for a walk, god know's what he was intending to do with it, wish he'd learn how to use it instead of try and hide it
Anything that moves is far game to them |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
As much as I love my cats, I do not think I can credit them with having the necessary intelligence to be master criminals. Henchcats maybe, but not the top cat. Dave would make a great gangster's moll though |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ma last Border Collie was called Spider, he was not only a "Houdini ", but also a kleptomaniac. I got him to take most things back that he had robbed off ma neighbours in the village, but nobody accepted a garden gnome back, which I had to keep for the next 15 years
Did he have his way with the gnome? "
No, but think a random pigeon crapped on his head |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My GSD would instigate a riot, but then he'd abandon it for snoozles as the chaos unfolded
I don't believe you. He looks far too innocent! X
Oh Red, don't be fooled by his big brown eyes and cute fuzzy face! He is the master of malarkey.
He lights the fuse then off to snooze "
I'm not having it, Dreavus. He's adorable!!!!!!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
My chocolate lab is gorgeous but a total idiot. He chews and destroys things that I need to walk him - like my wellies (he’s ‘customised’ the tops - but recently chewed a bloody big hole near the bottom too) - all insoles on every shoe and boot I own - the list is endless.
I think he’d be arrested for trying to break into a prison - because he really is an idiot! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What would their crime be?
My cats would be planning a heist of the next delivery of Dreamies. What the heck's in those things? They go mad for them. "
Rolling in fix sh1t and if it's not that it's various other dead animals ! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What would their crime be?
My cats would be planning a heist of the next delivery of Dreamies. What the heck's in those things? They go mad for them.
Rolling in fix sh1t and if it's not that it's various other dead animals !"
*fox |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
