FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > It's not all about looks
It's not all about looks
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I dunno if I just can't get my words out or express myself properly today so thought I'd carry on here rather than totally derailing another thread.
Looks play different parts. So it's rarely ever ALL about looks.
There will be some that meet people based on the experience and skills they have rather than what they look like.
Some people meet whilst blindfolded and have no idea who it is
Some people looks are very important but that's not the clincher, the clincher is if they have a personality they get on with too, or even something as small as liking the same music.
So yes, there is a portion that is to do with how someone may look, from their hair to the style of photo they take, of course there is and yes, there will be judgement on that, it would be foolish to think otherwise. That doesn't make people shallow, that doesn't make people hypocrites (from where I'm sat at least)
There are so many different things based on how your sexual senses get triggered.
It's a bigger picture.
Rarely ALL based on looks alone.
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By *.R.MMan
over a year ago
Norfolk |
"I dunno if I just can't get my words out or express myself properly today so thought I'd carry on here rather than totally derailing another thread.
Looks play different parts. So it's rarely ever ALL about looks.
There will be some that meet people based on the experience and skills they have rather than what they look like.
Some people meet whilst blindfolded and have no idea who it is
Some people looks are very important but that's not the clincher, the clincher is if they have a personality they get on with too, or even something as small as liking the same music.
So yes, there is a portion that is to do with how someone may look, from their hair to the style of photo they take, of course there is and yes, there will be judgement on that, it would be foolish to think otherwise. That doesn't make people shallow, that doesn't make people hypocrites (from where I'm sat at least)
There are so many different things based on how your sexual senses get triggered.
It's a bigger picture.
Rarely ALL based on looks alone.
"
Personality plays a massive part, for some there has to be an attraction too. |
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"I dunno if I just can't get my words out or express myself properly today so thought I'd carry on here rather than totally derailing another thread.
Looks play different parts. So it's rarely ever ALL about looks.
There will be some that meet people based on the experience and skills they have rather than what they look like.
Some people meet whilst blindfolded and have no idea who it is
Some people looks are very important but that's not the clincher, the clincher is if they have a personality they get on with too, or even something as small as liking the same music.
So yes, there is a portion that is to do with how someone may look, from their hair to the style of photo they take, of course there is and yes, there will be judgement on that, it would be foolish to think otherwise. That doesn't make people shallow, that doesn't make people hypocrites (from where I'm sat at least)
There are so many different things based on how your sexual senses get triggered.
It's a bigger picture.
Rarely ALL based on looks alone.
Personality plays a massive part, for some there has to be an attraction too. "
It absolutely does. I've had people that have grown on me in attractiveness due to their personality. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If we are honest the majority of people look for both.. I could not choose between looks or personality. There are some really good looking people here with horrible personalities. It's a major turn off. Likewise its hard to go beyond friendship with someone you just don't fancy. For me there are people that have both and its fantastic... |
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"If we are honest the majority of people look for both.. I could not choose between looks or personality. There are some really good looking people here with horrible personalities. It's a major turn off. Likewise its hard to go beyond friendship with someone you just don't fancy. For me there are people that have both and its fantastic..."
And it's like that for an awful lot of people. |
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80% of the time you aren't rejecting based on looks anyway, you're basing on how someone is presenting themselves.
Rejecting an arse isn't in my opinion rejecting someone based on how that person looks because you can't see their face! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dunno if I just can't get my words out or express myself properly today so thought I'd carry on here rather than totally derailing another thread.
Looks play different parts. So it's rarely ever ALL about looks.
There will be some that meet people based on the experience and skills they have rather than what they look like.
Some people meet whilst blindfolded and have no idea who it is
Some people looks are very important but that's not the clincher, the clincher is if they have a personality they get on with too, or even something as small as liking the same music.
So yes, there is a portion that is to do with how someone may look, from their hair to the style of photo they take, of course there is and yes, there will be judgement on that, it would be foolish to think otherwise. That doesn't make people shallow, that doesn't make people hypocrites (from where I'm sat at least)
There are so many different things based on how your sexual senses get triggered.
It's a bigger picture.
Rarely ALL based on looks alone.
Personality plays a massive part, for some there has to be an attraction too.
It absolutely does. I've had people that have grown on me in attractiveness due to their personality. "
Oh absolutely this!
There is something special about that attraction growing the more you get to know them, it’s like they transform before your eyes.
There has to be an initial attraction still but it doesn’t have to be a go weak at the knees type of thing.
And as you say that weak at the knees oooft can disappear in an instant if they prove to be a twat! |
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In real life the initial attraction is looks I guess, then the personality kicks in. The forum is odd in that personality counts more, if you like someone's post or tone you click to see the profile... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Looks is the starting point. If there is an initial attraction based on looks, then it helps, but then it’s connection, chemistry and most importantly ’the click’. |
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"In real life the initial attraction is looks I guess, then the personality kicks in. The forum is odd in that personality counts more, if you like someone's post or tone you click to see the profile..."
I agree.
There have been many people who's profile I've not viewed until I've read something they've said as on my wavelength, then I may have an eyebrow raise. |
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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago
somewhere, someplace |
"I dunno if I just can't get my words out or express myself properly today so thought I'd carry on here rather than totally derailing another thread.
Looks play different parts. So it's rarely ever ALL about looks.
There will be some that meet people based on the experience and skills they have rather than what they look like.
Some people meet whilst blindfolded and have no idea who it is
Some people looks are very important but that's not the clincher, the clincher is if they have a personality they get on with too, or even something as small as liking the same music.
So yes, there is a portion that is to do with how someone may look, from their hair to the style of photo they take, of course there is and yes, there will be judgement on that, it would be foolish to think otherwise. That doesn't make people shallow, that doesn't make people hypocrites (from where I'm sat at least)
There are so many different things based on how your sexual senses get triggered.
It's a bigger picture.
Rarely ALL based on looks alone.
Personality plays a massive part, for some there has to be an attraction too.
It absolutely does. I've had people that have grown on me in attractiveness due to their personality. "
Snap and it's like that in real life for me too |
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"To me attraction is a bit like a pie chart, looks, personality and ethics etc all make up the pie. The % worth of each factor varies from person to person but the total is always 100% "
This is a great way to describe it. So many things come into play. No one is perfect, but we are all so different and we do our best. We all have numerous positives, and if I’m being honest, some negatives. I know I do!
It’s finding the right person/people to have fun with, not just anyone or everyone. I couldn’t think of anything worse than spending some time with someone I disliked. Not for a coffee, let alone anything more than that! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd definitely agree with this. Looks are great but if you've got the personality of a brick or are an arsehole then they mean squat and I'm out.
All about having a connection for me. How you bounce off each other in conversation, good back and forth banter wise and the chemistry when you're together to create that spark in the bedroom.
We're only human though and looks will always draw us in but it's the rest of the package which will keep someone interested and engaged.
In my opinion anyway x |
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I totally agree!
Looking back on ex's...they were not the stereotypical looks that I always thought was my type. But I was attracted to them because their personality shown through and we had that connection 
If someone can make me laugh, make me smile and comfortable around them then that wins me over much more than a gym buff with perfect looks but struggles to have a blether with me  |
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It always seems to initially be about looks and it’s difficult to judge personality without either meeting someone or having prolonged conversations with them which is a rarity on here. Humour and sarcasm are subjective and can be difficult to interpret for some. A lot of people have said that they thought our profile was a joke profile and it puts them off! I don’t think that you can beat clubs or social events because at least you can judge personalities better in person. |
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"I dunno if I just can't get my words out or express myself properly today so thought I'd carry on here rather than totally derailing another thread.
Looks play different parts. So it's rarely ever ALL about looks.
There will be some that meet people based on the experience and skills they have rather than what they look like.
Some people meet whilst blindfolded and have no idea who it is
Some people looks are very important but that's not the clincher, the clincher is if they have a personality they get on with too, or even something as small as liking the same music.
So yes, there is a portion that is to do with how someone may look, from their hair to the style of photo they take, of course there is and yes, there will be judgement on that, it would be foolish to think otherwise. That doesn't make people shallow, that doesn't make people hypocrites (from where I'm sat at least)
There are so many different things based on how your sexual senses get triggered.
It's a bigger picture.
Rarely ALL based on looks alone.
"
Yep. But if you're not looking good *to me* we're always going to be friends without the benefits  |
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By *ittycenMan
over a year ago
south west |
I think that’s the way it SHOULD be, but I have had numerous conversations that have gone really nicely, sparking and all that. Then, a face pic is asked for and I provide one. 9 times out of ten, I then either get silence or sorry not for me.
Unfortunately it seems enough women are fickle these days so I rarely bother sending messages.
There is no denying that the male to female ratio is heavily one sided - I wonder if this makes women judge more on looks and waiting for a channing Tatum lookalike come along. |
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" Prettiness " to me is the person behind the face .
Yes a nice looking lady is pleasant of course but that's irrelevant if they are an arrogant , I'm so beautiful kinda gal .
That's a way bigger turn off than the aesthetic beauty  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s an interesting cycle, and some people will never understand their own attractions and pick people wrong for them repeatedly and never see / explore that.
Looks form an initial part of a lot of peoples perspectives, and chemistry is important, but for me it includes personality, humour, spark, and even viewpoints or the way they are generally. There is no hard and fast formula, and no matter how ‘hot’ or how many boxes were ticked, some things just drive me away. But I’m fussy
For example, if someone looked great but had zero personality or was miserable, or was self obsessed, I wouldn’t be interested. |
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"I think that’s the way it SHOULD be, but I have had numerous conversations that have gone really nicely, sparking and all that. Then, a face pic is asked for and I provide one. 9 times out of ten, I then either get silence or sorry not for me.
Unfortunately it seems enough women are fickle these days so I rarely bother sending messages.
There is no denying that the male to female ratio is heavily one sided - I wonder if this makes women judge more on looks and waiting for a channing Tatum lookalike come along."
Fickle for wanting to be visually attracted to someone as well as liking who they are as a person before they drop their knickers?
I'd hate to think someone I met of either sex wasn't aroused but met me for sex anyway coz they didn't want to come across fickle. |
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Number one, attractiveness is a relative thing. Even the most beautiful people have detractors.
Secondly, I think a lot depends on what the selection is for.
If it's for an evening of fun, I think I lean more towards the looks part of the equation. If its for something longer term (FWB in a FAB environment for example) the the balance starts to tip towards personality.
Obviously in the "olden days" when you might meet random people in (looks up the word) p.u.b.s then the first thing you'd tend to notice would be the looks. |
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"I dunno if I just can't get my words out or express myself properly today so thought I'd carry on here rather than totally derailing another thread.
Looks play different parts. So it's rarely ever ALL about looks.
There will be some that meet people based on the experience and skills they have rather than what they look like.
Some people meet whilst blindfolded and have no idea who it is
Some people looks are very important but that's not the clincher, the clincher is if they have a personality they get on with too, or even something as small as liking the same music.
So yes, there is a portion that is to do with how someone may look, from their hair to the style of photo they take, of course there is and yes, there will be judgement on that, it would be foolish to think otherwise. That doesn't make people shallow, that doesn't make people hypocrites (from where I'm sat at least)
There are so many different things based on how your sexual senses get triggered.
It's a bigger picture.
Rarely ALL based on looks alone.
Yep. But if you're not looking good *to me* we're always going to be friends without the benefits "
And it's quite funny how many chaps no longer want to be friends when they realise you're minge doesn't do a wide mouth frog impression upon seeing their face.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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And it's quite funny how many chaps no longer want to be friends when they realise you're minge doesn't do a wide mouth frog impression upon seeing their face.
This is one of the funniest things Ive ever read on Fab |
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By *ittycenMan
over a year ago
south west |
"I think that’s the way it SHOULD be, but I have had numerous conversations that have gone really nicely, sparking and all that. Then, a face pic is asked for and I provide one. 9 times out of ten, I then either get silence or sorry not for me.
Unfortunately it seems enough women are fickle these days so I rarely bother sending messages.
There is no denying that the male to female ratio is heavily one sided - I wonder if this makes women judge more on looks and waiting for a channing Tatum lookalike come along.
Fickle for wanting to be visually attracted to someone as well as liking who they are as a person before they drop their knickers?
I'd hate to think someone I met of either sex wasn't aroused but met me for sex anyway coz they didn't want to come across fickle. "
Fair point - poor choice of words on my part |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dunno if I just can't get my words out or express myself properly today so thought I'd carry on here rather than totally derailing another thread.
Looks play different parts. So it's rarely ever ALL about looks.
There will be some that meet people based on the experience and skills they have rather than what they look like.
Some people meet whilst blindfolded and have no idea who it is
Some people looks are very important but that's not the clincher, the clincher is if they have a personality they get on with too, or even something as small as liking the same music.
So yes, there is a portion that is to do with how someone may look, from their hair to the style of photo they take, of course there is and yes, there will be judgement on that, it would be foolish to think otherwise. That doesn't make people shallow, that doesn't make people hypocrites (from where I'm sat at least)
There are so many different things based on how your sexual senses get triggered.
It's a bigger picture.
Rarely ALL based on looks alone.
Yep. But if you're not looking good *to me* we're always going to be friends without the benefits
And it's quite funny how many chaps no longer want to be friends when they realise you're minge doesn't do a wide mouth frog impression upon seeing their face. "
It can work the other way too. Every woman I chat to on here (there aren't that many) gave me a phwoar moment that inspired me to contact her. So that was based on physical attraction, plus some comment she had made in the forums. Now, some I still enjoy chatting to very much, but I no longer have sexual designs on them all, even if I were offered the opportunity. It would seem weird. |
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"I think that’s the way it SHOULD be, but I have had numerous conversations that have gone really nicely, sparking and all that. Then, a face pic is asked for and I provide one. 9 times out of ten, I then either get silence or sorry not for me.
Unfortunately it seems enough women are fickle these days so I rarely bother sending messages.
There is no denying that the male to female ratio is heavily one sided - I wonder if this makes women judge more on looks and waiting for a channing Tatum lookalike come along."
We have been turned down in the same circumstances by men, so guys are fickle too... If wanting to find your sexual partners face attractive is fickle |
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"I dunno if I just can't get my words out or express myself properly today so thought I'd carry on here rather than totally derailing another thread.
Looks play different parts. So it's rarely ever ALL about looks.
There will be some that meet people based on the experience and skills they have rather than what they look like.
Some people meet whilst blindfolded and have no idea who it is
Some people looks are very important but that's not the clincher, the clincher is if they have a personality they get on with too, or even something as small as liking the same music.
So yes, there is a portion that is to do with how someone may look, from their hair to the style of photo they take, of course there is and yes, there will be judgement on that, it would be foolish to think otherwise. That doesn't make people shallow, that doesn't make people hypocrites (from where I'm sat at least)
There are so many different things based on how your sexual senses get triggered.
It's a bigger picture.
Rarely ALL based on looks alone.
Yep. But if you're not looking good *to me* we're always going to be friends without the benefits
And it's quite funny how many chaps no longer want to be friends when they realise you're minge doesn't do a wide mouth frog impression upon seeing their face.
It can work the other way too. Every woman I chat to on here (there aren't that many) gave me a phwoar moment that inspired me to contact her. So that was based on physical attraction, plus some comment she had made in the forums. Now, some I still enjoy chatting to very much, but I no longer have sexual designs on them all, even if I were offered the opportunity. It would seem weird."
They're the keepers. The ones you know have your back in life in general and vice versa
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"If we are honest the majority of people look for both.. I could not choose between looks or personality. There are some really good looking people here with horrible personalities. It's a major turn off. Likewise its hard to go beyond friendship with someone you just don't fancy. For me there are people that have both and its fantastic..."
Agree 100%
It's not they have to be beautiful..but you need that spark of attraction.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dunno if I just can't get my words out or express myself properly today so thought I'd carry on here rather than totally derailing another thread.
Looks play different parts. So it's rarely ever ALL about looks.
There will be some that meet people based on the experience and skills they have rather than what they look like.
Some people meet whilst blindfolded and have no idea who it is
Some people looks are very important but that's not the clincher, the clincher is if they have a personality they get on with too, or even something as small as liking the same music.
So yes, there is a portion that is to do with how someone may look, from their hair to the style of photo they take, of course there is and yes, there will be judgement on that, it would be foolish to think otherwise. That doesn't make people shallow, that doesn't make people hypocrites (from where I'm sat at least)
There are so many different things based on how your sexual senses get triggered.
It's a bigger picture.
Rarely ALL based on looks alone.
Yep. But if you're not looking good *to me* we're always going to be friends without the benefits
And it's quite funny how many chaps no longer want to be friends when they realise you're minge doesn't do a wide mouth frog impression upon seeing their face.
It can work the other way too. Every woman I chat to on here (there aren't that many) gave me a phwoar moment that inspired me to contact her. So that was based on physical attraction, plus some comment she had made in the forums. Now, some I still enjoy chatting to very much, but I no longer have sexual designs on them all, even if I were offered the opportunity. It would seem weird.
They're the keepers. The ones you know have your back in life in general and vice versa
"
100% ! Keep hold of these people, hard to find but worth their weight in gold |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I first met D I looked at him at thought ‘nope’ , he wasn’t my type at all from looks to what he was wearing but within half hour of being with him I’d fallen hook line and sinker! For both of us it’s definitely a matter of ‘chemistry’ be that looks, charm, sense of humour, the ability to have a decent conversation or just that certain something! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Throws a grenade in and heads for cover.
Oh looks play a very big part, look how many profiles say no profile/face pictures no way!!! etc.
Just the way it is and always has been
"
Because this isn't blind date.
I'm not going to meet a picture of a cock - even if said cock has a good personality 
Away from Fab life and meeting people in person a nice face and body fades pretty quickly for me if we don't get on.
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"To me attraction is a bit like a pie chart, looks, personality and ethics etc all make up the pie. The % worth of each factor varies from person to person but the total is always 100%
This is a great way to describe it. So many things come into play. No one is perfect, but we are all so different and we do our best. We all have numerous positives, and if I’m being honest, some negatives. I know I do!
It’s finding the right person/people to have fun with, not just anyone or everyone. I couldn’t think of anything worse than spending some time with someone I disliked. Not for a coffee, let alone anything more than that! "
Oh gosh I agree and even the negatives are part of the whole. Where you have an ability to deal with x negative more than the z negative. I think attraction is complex and it's a mix of so many things that dictates if someone is attractive or not |
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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
Personality plays a big part, so much that it’s a deal breaker, I can look at somebody and think phwoar they are hot and the attraction is there physically/facially but if we don’t click with our personality’s it’s not going to go any further. |
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By *tue555Man
over a year ago
Passed Beyond Reach |
"Throws a grenade in and heads for cover.
Oh looks play a very big part, look how many profiles say no profile/face pictures no way!!! etc.
Just the way it is and always has been
Because this isn't blind date.
I'm not going to meet a picture of a cock - even if said cock has a good personality
Away from Fab life and meeting people in person a nice face and body fades pretty quickly for me if we don't get on.
"
That's the point say its not about looks, but then you your say first decision is based on looks "person a nice face and body" not disagreeing about anything else if you should meet of not etc - but how many can honestly say will start a conversation without knowing what person or people look like - and decision to start a conversation are not based on looks.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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True, it’s rarely based on looks alone, personality can take you so far, but it’s always looks that seal the deal in the end, no matter how much of a connection you have, no matter how in tune you are with someone, all that can go out the window, if they aren’t attracted to you physically for whatever reason. On a fundamental level, humans need that attraction to entice them. |
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"I dunno if I just can't get my words out or express myself properly today so thought I'd carry on here rather than totally derailing another thread.
Looks play different parts. So it's rarely ever ALL about looks.
There will be some that meet people based on the experience and skills they have rather than what they look like.
Some people meet whilst blindfolded and have no idea who it is
Some people looks are very important but that's not the clincher, the clincher is if they have a personality they get on with too, or even something as small as liking the same music.
So yes, there is a portion that is to do with how someone may look, from their hair to the style of photo they take, of course there is and yes, there will be judgement on that, it would be foolish to think otherwise. That doesn't make people shallow, that doesn't make people hypocrites (from where I'm sat at least)
There are so many different things based on how your sexual senses get triggered.
It's a bigger picture.
Rarely ALL based on looks alone.
Yep. But if you're not looking good *to me* we're always going to be friends without the benefits
And it's quite funny how many chaps no longer want to be friends when they realise you're minge doesn't do a wide mouth frog impression upon seeing their face. "
Excellent turn of phrase.
You would be lucky if most men even knew what you meant! Whaddya mean an "erect" fanny...
We are all superficial at one level, then move through that (or not). Brains looks dick/bits, establish all three then decide. Even then the trinity can be shot by a similarity which outside Fab is no issue. You would be friends with a relative lookalike, but not a FB!  |
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"Throws a grenade in and heads for cover.
Oh looks play a very big part, look how many profiles say no profile/face pictures no way!!! etc.
Just the way it is and always has been
Because this isn't blind date.
I'm not going to meet a picture of a cock - even if said cock has a good personality
Away from Fab life and meeting people in person a nice face and body fades pretty quickly for me if we don't get on.
That's the point say its not about looks, but then you your say first decision is based on looks "person a nice face and body" not disagreeing about anything else if you should meet of not etc - but how many can honestly say will start a conversation without knowing what person or people look like - and decision to start a conversation are not based on looks.
"
I won’t start a conversation with someone I don’t find attractive, because on here the end goal is usually to meet and I’m not about to have sex with someone I don’t fancy. I’m also no longer willing to have a conversation with someone who wants to exchange face pics “later” because usually I don’t find them attractive and then it’s awkward.
But equally I’ve had a lot of messages from attractive people which I’ve ignored because I haven’t liked the way their message and/or profile comes across. |
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"Throws a grenade in and heads for cover.
Oh looks play a very big part, look how many profiles say no profile/face pictures no way!!! etc.
Just the way it is and always has been
Because this isn't blind date.
I'm not going to meet a picture of a cock - even if said cock has a good personality
Away from Fab life and meeting people in person a nice face and body fades pretty quickly for me if we don't get on.
That's the point say its not about looks, but then you your say first decision is based on looks "person a nice face and body" not disagreeing about anything else if you should meet of not etc - but how many can honestly say will start a conversation without knowing what person or people look like - and decision to start a conversation are not based on looks.
I won’t start a conversation with someone I don’t find attractive, because on here the end goal is usually to meet and I’m not about to have sex with someone I don’t fancy. I’m also no longer willing to have a conversation with someone who wants to exchange face pics “later” because usually I don’t find them attractive and then it’s awkward.
"
Sooooo this! No way I could shag someone I don't fine physically attractive in the first instance! Ive had relationships where a guy has grown on me, cos their personalities won me over.
But I'm here for fwbs, not marriage, so I need to fancy you. And I fully accept that I'm not some beautiful fey creature that every guy fancies. It goes both ways.
Also, beauty/attractiveness is subjective. Some classically handsome guys are not my cup of tea at all! Your lazy eye or wonky nose could be what makes me lust after you.
And yes, I've gotten chatting to guys on here that I fancy the fuck out of, but bore me silly or are unpleasant once I've gotten to know them. I ain't shagging them!
So on a site like this, yes, it IS all about looks. Just don't dictate to me which "looks" I go for
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"
I won’t start a conversation with someone I don’t find attractive, because on here the end goal is usually to meet and I’m not about to have sex with someone I don’t fancy. I’m also no longer willing to have a conversation with someone who wants to exchange face pics “later” because usually I don’t find them attractive and then it’s awkward.
Sooooo this! No way I could shag someone I don't fine physically attractive in the first instance! Ive had relationships where a guy has grown on me, cos their personalities won me over.
But I'm here for fwbs, not marriage, so I need to fancy you. And I fully accept that I'm not some beautiful fey creature that every guy fancies. It goes both ways.
Also, beauty/attractiveness is subjective. Some classically handsome guys are not my cup of tea at all! Your lazy eye or wonky nose could be what makes me lust after you.
And yes, I've gotten chatting to guys on here that I fancy the fuck out of, but bore me silly or are unpleasant once I've gotten to know them. I ain't shagging them!
So on a site like this, yes, it IS all about looks. Just don't dictate to me which "looks" I go for
"
That’s also very true - I don’t necessarily go for conventionally attractive people, I find all kinds of looks attractive, and sometimes the very mainstream model looks aren’t very interesting to me. Someone upthread said we all want Channing Tatum, but I wouldn’t do Channing Tatum with someone else’s. |
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"
That’s also very true - I don’t necessarily go for conventionally attractive people, I find all kinds of looks attractive, and sometimes the very mainstream model looks aren’t very interesting to me. Someone upthread said we all want Channing Tatum, but I wouldn’t do Channing Tatum with someone else’s."
Too right. Not if he was the last man on Earth!
I mean Michael Fassbinder, David Ginola, Chris Hemsworth - yes please!
But also yes to James Spader, David Tennant & James McAvoy. Geeks rock!! |
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If its just about sex, I couldn't fuck someone with a great personality who I didn't have a attraction to,
Depending on the situation like at a club I would fuck someone who I thought was hot but had a shitty personality |
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By *ittycenMan
over a year ago
south west |
"
That’s also very true - I don’t necessarily go for conventionally attractive people, I find all kinds of looks attractive, and sometimes the very mainstream model looks aren’t very interesting to me. Someone upthread said we all want Channing Tatum, but I wouldn’t do Channing Tatum with someone else’s.
Too right. Not if he was the last man on Earth!
I mean Michael Fassbinder, David Ginola, Chris Hemsworth - yes please!
But also yes to James Spader, David Tennant & James McAvoy. Geeks rock!! "
Geeks you say? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So well said OP and everyone.
Someone can be stereotypical drop dead gorgeous, but if they have no (or a horrible) personality, aren't able to engage in conversation, message in text speak abbreviations and only contact when they want someone to use as wank material, I'm not interested. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Looks is the starting point. If there is an initial attraction based on looks, then it helps, but then it’s connection, chemistry and most importantly ’the click’."
Absolutely, go to the top of the class |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People get slagged off for being shallow if they aren't attracted to someone's face.
People are slagged off for fucking anything if they don't ask to see a face pic. |
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It's a catch 22 situation. Personality is important. They can be drop dead gorgeous but be as dull as dishwater. On the other hand someone can be less attractive and have an awesome personality. I am attracted to both.....looks and personality. I suppose it really does come down to how much I am attracted to each or either. I can think of one man in particular who I met a few years ago, we had a social meet and I said to my husband that he was a lovely guy but he wasn't for me. A couple of months later we were looking for a meet one rainy Saturday afternoon and he invited us to his house. We had the most amazing time! He became a very good friend. 
Unfortunately he's moved to Italy now....  |
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"People get slagged off for being shallow if they aren't attracted to someone's face.
People are slagged off for fucking anything if they don't ask to see a face pic. "
How about a ham sandwich? I bet some fellas don't even warm it first, and surely you'd use a hot dog bun rather than 2 slices of Warburton.
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"If we are honest the majority of people look for both.. I could not choose between looks or personality. There are some really good looking people here with horrible personalities. It's a major turn off. Likewise its hard to go beyond friendship with someone you just don't fancy. For me there are people that have both and its fantastic..."
Whether I fancy someone in real life isn’t based on looks. A personality, a style, the way they stand, their voice and a look can flick the switches even if they aren’t classically good looking. It’s different on here , it’s mostly fantasy, looking at pictures you rarely get the disappointment of the bad personality |
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"To me attraction is a bit like a pie chart, looks, personality and ethics etc all make up the pie. The % worth of each factor varies from person to person but the total is always 100% "
That’s a good way of looking at it. I like this |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"Looks do have a part and you do have to be facially attracted to someone but personality is key x "
Now see, I don't agree! Well I do but it's not key, both are just straight up equal.
The two enhance each other, to a degree. A bad personality can make even the most physically attractive person be the ugliest as a whole. Just as a great personality can "gloss over" what could potentially be somebody you would find less attractive.
On the flip side of that we all (or the vast majority will have) been blinded to, or overlooked a few personality issues because of an overwhelming physical attraction. Just as no ammount of personality will make up for zero physical attraction.
Both things are very subjective of course. We won't all find the same people attractive or have personalities that appeal to us in different ways. |
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"To me attraction is a bit like a pie chart, looks, personality and ethics etc all make up the pie. The % worth of each factor varies from person to person but the total is always 100% "
Post of the thread! Well put! |
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"Sexual attraction/connection is primal - it is way more than looks and often more than we even realise."
Agreed. I can't get my fanny to flutter over someone it doesn't flutter over.
There's been people I'd not consider via the site but have seen at clubs and I've found their vibe or energy the thing that's got my knickers like a slip n slide.
And that's part of the reason I can't recommend socials and clubs highly enough. Yet, it's too much effort for those who expect to click their fingers on here and have vag knocking their door down |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Looks on Fab are less important to me than in real life simply because photos can be so misleading, for better or worse.
It’s great to have an image of someone you’re chatting to but my motivation for meeting someone from Fab would be heavily based on personality, intelligence, humour, etc.
If we met and there was no mutual physical attraction then that’s something to worry about when it happens. |
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"Sexual attraction/connection is primal - it is way more than looks and often more than we even realise."
I like this description! I’ve no idea what I’m attracted to and I only fancy someone in the flesh, I can’t say I fancy any pic. I find it impossible to describe. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If its not all about looks then perhaps there's hope for me yet
Its always about how you make them feel,and how they make you feel....
While looks may fade the heart usually stays the same....sometimes
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont really go on looks. Some of the best lovers I've had, have been men I didnt find physically attractive when first meeting them. But for whatever reason something eventually clicked and well, I've been glad it had.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Initially looks but it comes down to personality for me every time. It’s way more than just looks, you could be stunning but if we don’t gel/click then I really can’t go further.
I agree with you on the clubs and the vibe/energy people give off that can really make you attracted.
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"I've had people where I've thought "oooft" and then a status has put me off quicker than a banana on the turn"
100% and if their attitude stink, knowing they are attractive. Then i have no time for them. Personality, kindness, grattiude and chemistry is fundamental for me. |
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"
I agree with you on the clubs and the vibe/energy people give off that can really make you attracted.
"
Very much this.
Sometimes I'm drawn to someone just by the way they are standing or moving... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's like food.
Presentation is a big part of it...if it's just slapped on the plate with no attention to detail, it won't look appetising. If it looks appetising but I find it lacking something after that first bite, I'm unlikely to go back for a second mouthful.
And if there's the perfect combination of presentation and flavour, then I'll be licking the plate clean. |
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"I dunno if I just can't get my words out or express myself properly today so thought I'd carry on here rather than totally derailing another thread.
Looks play different parts. So it's rarely ever ALL about looks.
There will be some that meet people based on the experience and skills they have rather than what they look like.
Some people meet whilst blindfolded and have no idea who it is
Some people looks are very important but that's not the clincher, the clincher is if they have a personality they get on with too, or even something as small as liking the same music.
So yes, there is a portion that is to do with how someone may look, from their hair to the style of photo they take, of course there is and yes, there will be judgement on that, it would be foolish to think otherwise. That doesn't make people shallow, that doesn't make people hypocrites (from where I'm sat at least)
There are so many different things based on how your sexual senses get triggered.
It's a bigger picture.
Rarely ALL based on looks alone.
"
Well id were based on looks you'd smash it 100% thats for sure, and on smile |
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"I dunno if I just can't get my words out or express myself properly today so thought I'd carry on here rather than totally derailing another thread.
Looks play different parts. So it's rarely ever ALL about looks.
There will be some that meet people based on the experience and skills they have rather than what they look like.
Some people meet whilst blindfolded and have no idea who it is
Some people looks are very important but that's not the clincher, the clincher is if they have a personality they get on with too, or even something as small as liking the same music.
So yes, there is a portion that is to do with how someone may look, from their hair to the style of photo they take, of course there is and yes, there will be judgement on that, it would be foolish to think otherwise. That doesn't make people shallow, that doesn't make people hypocrites (from where I'm sat at least)
There are so many different things based on how your sexual senses get triggered.
It's a bigger picture.
Rarely ALL based on looks alone.
****Well if it were based on looks you'd smash it 100% thats for sure, and on smile "
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It’s changed over the years my attraction to people.
In male mode looking for a life partner I’d prefer an independent woman who doesn’t need me but wants me to be in her life. Intelligent but slightly quirky would always get my attention over looks and a nice personality. I want to be around someone who’s happy within their self and brings out the inner child in both of us.
If you actually do some people watching for quite some time, you’ll actually notice the majority of people aren’t actually really attractive or ugly, just normal looking. They’ll have the ability at times be a lot more attractive than their normal everyday look, by putting on a nice dress and makeup or suited and booted with a tousled hair and a bit of stubble.
So with a normal looking person, if they can make you go ‘Wow’ occasionally, but also make you feel good about yourself, it’s going to be their personality in the long run that’s going to be the deciding feature. |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
"If it is not about looks ... tell that to the organisers of LeBoudior and Killing Kittens 
Everyone shags everyone when they're inside then? "
Apparently, if you are not attractive you don't get in. |
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"If it is not about looks ... tell that to the organisers of LeBoudior and Killing Kittens
Everyone shags everyone when they're inside then?
Apparently, if you are not attractive you don't get in."
Putting that to one side, would you expect everyone to be shagging everyone once inside? You see, regardless of the looks once inside the venue people will still base their decision on who if anyone they get jiggy with on things like how they conduct themselves, how they interact, their confidence, their accent even. You see what I'm getting at? |
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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
"If it is not about looks ... tell that to the organisers of LeBoudior and Killing Kittens
Everyone shags everyone when they're inside then?
Apparently, if you are not attractive you don't get in."
Attractive to who? We all have a different view on attraction |
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"If it is not about looks ... tell that to the organisers of LeBoudior and Killing Kittens
Everyone shags everyone when they're inside then?
Apparently, if you are not attractive you don't get in.
Attractive to who? We all have a different view on attraction "
The people who grant membership. They're all "elite" innit |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
"If it is not about looks ... tell that to the organisers of LeBoudior and Killing Kittens
Everyone shags everyone when they're inside then?
Apparently, if you are not attractive you don't get in.
Attractive to who? We all have a different view on attraction
The people who grant membership. They're all "elite" innit "
There needs to be a place for those who have "standards" and don't want to meet common people despite what Pulp says. |
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