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By *aldybiMan
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
"On Sunday mornings "that look" is immediately rewarded with the kids waking up and jumping on your bed  "
Used to hurry ours over to Sunday School at the chapel across the road, perform the crippled, three-legged with anticipation run back, and dive between the wife's thighs like a salmon into an otter's pocket! We'd get an hour to shag and scream ourselves silly... happy days (c; |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On Sunday mornings "that look" is immediately rewarded with the kids waking up and jumping on your bed
lmao its like they have a sixth sense."
... but now I'm single they would snore till 12 ..... if I let em  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On Sunday mornings "that look" is immediately rewarded with the kids waking up and jumping on your bed
lmao its like they have a sixth sense.
... but now I'm single they would snore till 12 ..... if I let em "
Saying, "ohhhh,owww" never lessens the pain of a kid falling flat on its face" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The time available to complete the task in hand is exactly half the length of time required .... and the tools and materials purchased for said task have always disappeared from that safe place  |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
if a toddler hands you a toy phone.. you pretend to answer it.. no matter where you are..
if you plan on having a quiet lazy day , people that you havent seen in ages will phone or call round ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When waiting an absolute fooking age for a bus - light a cigarette! This always brings at least 3 buses round the corner...
"
...and if you light it within the confines of the bus shelter you are sure of getting a seat as all the non-smokers mutter and whine as they move out of the shelter leaving you first in the queue.  |
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By *obletonMan
over a year ago
A Home Among The Woodland Creatures |
"If you put 100 people individually on their own with a tea cozy and left them around 75 will put it on their head"
When posting humorous comments on forums, some bastard will always beat you to the punch |
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By *obletonMan
over a year ago
A Home Among The Woodland Creatures |
"On Sunday mornings "that look" is immediately rewarded with the kids waking up and jumping on your bed
Used to hurry ours over to Sunday School at the chapel across the road, perform the crippled, three-legged with anticipation run back, and dive between the wife's thighs like a salmon into an otter's pocket! We'd get an hour to shag and scream ourselves silly... happy days (c;"
You do realise that the baby Jesus knew all about your sordid little scheme and was not the least bit pleased |
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"If you put 100 people individually on their own with a tea cozy and left them around 75 will put it on their head
When posting humorous comments on forums, some bastard will always beat you to the punch "
Didn't realise it was always |
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"On Sunday mornings "that look" is immediately rewarded with the kids waking up and jumping on your bed
Used to hurry ours over to Sunday School at the chapel across the road, perform the crippled, three-legged with anticipation run back, and dive between the wife's thighs like a salmon into an otter's pocket! We'd get an hour to shag and scream ourselves silly... happy days (c;
You do realise that the baby Jesus knew all about your sordid little scheme and was not the least bit pleased"
Noooooo, it was all a ploy by the churches - allow the parents time for nookie meant that there would be more kids made to increase the numbers in the sunday school!!!!  |
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"On Sunday mornings "that look" is immediately rewarded with the kids waking up and jumping on your bed
Used to hurry ours over to Sunday School at the chapel across the road, perform the crippled, three-legged with anticipation run back, and dive between the wife's thighs like a salmon into an otter's pocket! We'd get an hour to shag and scream ourselves silly... happy days (c;
You do realise that the baby Jesus knew all about your sordid little scheme and was not the least bit pleased
Noooooo, it was all a ploy by the churches - allow the parents time for nookie meant that there would be more kids made to increase the numbers in the sunday school!!!! "
oiiii !!!!!! i just told you that 
hate fast typers |
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"If you put 100 people individually on their own with a tea cozy and left them around 75 will put it on their head
When posting humorous comments on forums, some bastard will always beat you to the punch "
Great minds think alike, that one always has me in stitches |
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By *dinMan
over a year ago
Nr Biggleswade |
"If you decide to answer the door it was the energy company bastards. If you don't open the door it was George Clooney with your lottery win."
Wouldn't they need to get past your rabid bears guarding your moat Granny ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When driving if a bird comes too close to the window screen you duck down!
Know any more?
'Get off the pavement and back on the road' she must have caught my eye! |
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"If you decide to answer the door it was the energy company bastards. If you don't open the door it was George Clooney with your lottery win.
Wouldn't they need to get past your rabid bears guarding your moat Granny ?
"
I'd give you the day off dear.... |
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By *aldybiMan
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
"On Sunday mornings "that look" is immediately rewarded with the kids waking up and jumping on your bed
Used to hurry ours over to Sunday School at the chapel across the road, perform the crippled, three-legged with anticipation run back, and dive between the wife's thighs like a salmon into an otter's pocket! We'd get an hour to shag and scream ourselves silly... happy days (c;
You do realise that the baby Jesus knew all about your sordid little scheme and was not the least bit pleased"
I always figured he'd put the chapel there 'cos he he liked to watch |
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