FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Why is it hard for a single asian guy to find a meet on Fab
Why is it hard for a single asian guy to find a meet on Fab
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Been on fab over a year now i am very polite and have messaged people. I rarely get a reply, when I do its the typical "I dont meet asians"... any tips??? |
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By *rad670Man
over a year ago
South Lakes |
Hardly anyone is meeting, massive percentage of people on here are males, some people have preferences that should be respected but mostly if your'e interesting and meet most of the persons preferences you will end up matching someones requirements, just takes time. |
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"People aren't meeting in the numbers they used to "
Yeah, but I think the OP means when reading through profiles in general, how many of them have that statement, sometimes in block capitals.....
It's hard being a soon to be a 59 yr old bisexual smoker as well OP   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ots understandable during lockdown but outside of lockdown still was hard to get a meet lol"
It is for most men
I do think Asian guys have a harder time though
There are preconceptions
- you are likely to be married
- you think white women are sluts
- you treat women badly & in low regard
- you're entitled and pushy
I'm not saying any of those are any more than preconceptions or generalisations, but those are just some of the things you are dealing with
It's basic racism, but it's often passed off as 'preference'
For clarity, by 'Asian', I mean Muslim guys of Pakistani or Bangladeshi origin
I think you probably know that though |
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Everyone is probably finding it hard right now (covid) and no-one should be looking to meet.
Outwith covid, for me personally your profile doesn't stand out. I know you have some friends pics but it would be nice to see some form of pic on your profile. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Re the meets, i mean pre lockdown was so hard, despite sharing pics. Typical response is i dont meet asians, dont even get chance to have a chat. Would be nice if i could get an opportunity to speak and show all us asian men are not the same. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"if you been here for over a year, you will also notice this topic been covered many times... just search "asian" "
I rarely visitted forum until someone on chat told me about it x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thank u, yes i tend to find many stereotypes. Shane as theres bad apples in every race 
Please keep replies on the forum OP"
Apologies, couldnt show my pic here lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Covid aside op, it's just that you're being stereotyped for just having Asian heritage. It's something that you can't change about yourself so best just to keep being yourself until someone less judgemental comes along. Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Covid aside op, it's just that you're being stereotyped for just having Asian heritage. It's something that you can't change about yourself so best just to keep being yourself until someone less judgemental comes along. Good luck. "
Thank u x x im scouse at heart tho lol .... WE LOVE U LIVERPOOL WE DO |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Covid aside op, it's just that you're being stereotyped for just having Asian heritage. It's something that you can't change about yourself so best just to keep being yourself until someone less judgemental comes along. Good luck.
Thank u x x im scouse at heart tho lol .... WE LOVE U LIVERPOOL WE DO"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank u, yes i tend to find many stereotypes. Shane as theres bad apples in every race
Please keep replies on the forum OP"
and that's just one of the many reasons they don't do well on here, or in clubs. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thank u, yes i tend to find many stereotypes. Shane as theres bad apples in every race
Please keep replies on the forum OP
and that's just one of the many reasons they don't do well on here, or in clubs."
Oh well i may aswell give up if no1 going to give people a chance |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Take a look at this thread from the other day. The ladies teased this poor guy mercilessly (I won’t comment about whether it was deserved or not), but there’s a few insightful comments on there:
https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/1121528 |
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By *ickJMan
over a year ago
Hemel Hempstead |
I think it's generally difficult for single guys. Many regulars may expect "new" single males to be unreliable and not worth the effort.
If anyone's saying they won't meet you just because you're asian, then that's either their preference, or their racism.
One thing I would say about your profile is that with no pictures (either profile or public gallery), people are likely to think you're not genuine - I do see a lot of women's / couples' profiles saying that they won't reply if you don't have a photo. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"Take a look at this thread from the other day. The ladies teased this poor guy mercilessly (I won’t comment about whether it was deserved or not), but there’s a few insightful comments on there:
https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/1121528"
Sadly, new single men are like mice to be played with by some women on here. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Lol thought it was just me n the typical i dont meet asians response i keep getting
Then they are fuck heads.
Some of us aren't fuck heads."
I dont understand wat u mean |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"Thank u, yes i tend to find many stereotypes. Shane as theres bad apples in every race
Please keep replies on the forum OP
and that's just one of the many reasons they don't do well on here, or in clubs."
Lots of men who aren't Asian private message from a forum post.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's hard for all men OP due to the sheer number of men compared to women and couples so they definitely get to be more selective.
I haven't experienced any negative replies with regards to my race but sorry to hear that you've had these messages. All I can say is to keep your chin up and that you're probably better off not knowing them  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Take a look at this thread from the other day. The ladies teased this poor guy mercilessly (I won’t comment about whether it was deserved or not), but there’s a few insightful comments on there:
https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/1121528"
I got thick skin, words dont hurt me unless offensive |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thank u, yes i tend to find many stereotypes. Shane as theres bad apples in every race
Please keep replies on the forum OP
and that's just one of the many reasons they don't do well on here, or in clubs.
Lots of men who aren't Asian private message from a forum post.
"
I only replied privately to show my pic as couldnt share on profile. But ur rite, i shud use manners. Thanks x |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"Lol thought it was just me n the typical i dont meet asians response i keep getting
Then they are fuck heads.
Some of us aren't fuck heads.
I dont understand wat u mean"
Just my way of saying not everyone will reply with I don't meet Asians. Some people do meet Asian men, but more will meet Asian women, it seems. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think it's hard for all men OP due to the sheer number of men compared to women and couples so they definitely get to be more selective.
I haven't experienced any negative replies with regards to my race but sorry to hear that you've had these messages. All I can say is to keep your chin up and that you're probably better off not knowing them "
Thanks mate |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Lol thought it was just me n the typical i dont meet asians response i keep getting
Then they are fuck heads.
Some of us aren't fuck heads.
I dont understand wat u mean
Just my way of saying not everyone will reply with I don't meet Asians. Some people do meet Asian men, but more will meet Asian women, it seems. "
Thanks for clearing that up x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm absolutely drowning in vaj."
That wasn't an invitation ladies, stop messaging. I've got TV to watch, lager to drink, and peanuts to eat from my belly button. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank u, yes i tend to find many stereotypes. Shane as theres bad apples in every race
Please keep replies on the forum OP
and that's just one of the many reasons they don't do well on here, or in clubs.
Lots of men who aren't Asian private message from a forum post.
"
Very true. I apologise for my comment.
My experience of Asian men and couples on here and in clubs hasn't been good. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm absolutely drowning in vaj.
That wasn't an invitation ladies, stop messaging. I've got TV to watch, lager to drink, and peanuts to eat from my belly button."
Are you Asian though
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thank u, yes i tend to find many stereotypes. Shane as theres bad apples in every race
Please keep replies on the forum OP
and that's just one of the many reasons they don't do well on here, or in clubs.
Lots of men who aren't Asian private message from a forum post.
Very true. I apologise for my comment.
My experience of Asian men and couples on here and in clubs hasn't been good."
I apologise for your bad experiences but please should judge people individually. We not all bad i promise u. I would love the opportunity to right a wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm absolutely drowning in vaj.
That wasn't an invitation ladies, stop messaging. I've got TV to watch, lager to drink, and peanuts to eat from my belly button.
Are you Asian though
"
Hahaha love it x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm absolutely drowning in vaj.
That wasn't an invitation ladies, stop messaging. I've got TV to watch, lager to drink, and peanuts to eat from my belly button.
Are you Asian though
"
That must be why. My apologies. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank u, yes i tend to find many stereotypes. Shane as theres bad apples in every race
Please keep replies on the forum OP
and that's just one of the many reasons they don't do well on here, or in clubs.
Lots of men who aren't Asian private message from a forum post.
Very true. I apologise for my comment.
My experience of Asian men and couples on here and in clubs hasn't been good."
Well done for admitting the mistake in your comment.
Just out of curiosity though and based off your experiences, do you feel the same if working with asian colleagues and would you not have asian friends either? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thank u, yes i tend to find many stereotypes. Shane as theres bad apples in every race
Please keep replies on the forum OP
and that's just one of the many reasons they don't do well on here, or in clubs.
Lots of men who aren't Asian private message from a forum post.
Very true. I apologise for my comment.
My experience of Asian men and couples on here and in clubs hasn't been good.
Well done for admitting the mistake in your comment.
Just out of curiosity though and based off your experiences, do you feel the same if working with asian colleagues and would you not have asian friends either?"
Thanks bro |
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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago
London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact |
We're not as multicultural as a society as some people would like to believe..
The predominant aesthetic ideal is a white western male/female as a global norm. Racism still exists these days but it is expressed differently whether it be through subconscious bias or racial apathy. In my view anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We're not as multicultural as a society as some people would like to believe..
The predominant aesthetic ideal is a white western male/female as a global norm. Racism still exists these days but it is expressed differently whether it be through subconscious bias or racial apathy. In my view anyway. "
I hear u bro, and agree with alot of what u say |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just would like to be given a chance x"
Whining about things isn’t going to help is it? For every woman who messages you negatively on here with the ‘No Asians’ dig, they’ll be another one who rejects you for reasons other than your heritage.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just would like to be given a chance x
Whining about things isn’t going to help is it? For every woman who messages you negatively on here with the ‘No Asians’ dig, they’ll be another one who rejects you for reasons other than your heritage. "
No ones whining here.... well for your info the only dig i keep getting is No Asians. Rather have no reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We're not as multicultural as a society as some people would like to believe..
The predominant aesthetic ideal is a white western male/female as a global norm. Racism still exists these days but it is expressed differently whether it be through subconscious bias or racial apathy. In my view anyway. "
I really can't be arsed to go there, but if someone aesthetically prefers something else they are racist?
I can understand part of your view, but I don't agree it automatically is to (always) do with racism. That's a cope out on your behalf. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just would like to be given a chance x
Whining about things isn’t going to help is it? For every woman who messages you negatively on here with the ‘No Asians’ dig, they’ll be another one who rejects you for reasons other than your heritage.
No ones whining here.... well for your info the only dig i keep getting is No Asians. Rather have no reply. "
Now that would be plain rude...  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just would like to be given a chance x
Whining about things isn’t going to help is it? For every woman who messages you negatively on here with the ‘No Asians’ dig, they’ll be another one who rejects you for reasons other than your heritage.
No ones whining here.... well for your info the only dig i keep getting is No Asians. Rather have no reply.
Now that would be plain rude... "
Rather someone be rude and not reply rather than be stereotypical and judge me by my ethnicity. Thsts worse!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We're not as multicultural as a society as some people would like to believe..
The predominant aesthetic ideal is a white western male/female as a global norm. Racism still exists these days but it is expressed differently whether it be through subconscious bias or racial apathy. In my view anyway.
I really can't be arsed to go there, but if someone aesthetically prefers something else they are racist?
I can understand part of your view, but I don't agree it automatically is to (always) do with racism. That's a cope out on your behalf."
A lot of profiles say 'no smokers' but would actually meet smokers if they thought they eete hot. |
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First of all you can forget anything and everything thats happened as far as fab goes for the entire last year. It's been a write off, people have not been in the "getting to know you" frame of mind due to grieving, fear, frustration, exhaustion and a whole host of other covid related reasons.
Secondly, most people view a profile before replying to or even opening a message. Zero pictures will probably be the cause of at least 80% of the straight deletes. From someone you don't already know it looks shady. Yes there are people I speak to from the forums who have no pictures but that's been getting to know them over the years via the forum.
Some will be prejudice.
Some will be preference.
How many clubs have you been to?
How many organised socials have you been to?
If you're into kink, how many munches or events have you been to? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just would like to be given a chance x
Whining about things isn’t going to help is it? For every woman who messages you negatively on here with the ‘No Asians’ dig, they’ll be another one who rejects you for reasons other than your heritage.
No ones whining here.... well for your info the only dig i keep getting is No Asians. Rather have no reply.
Now that would be plain rude...
Rather someone be rude and not reply rather than be stereotypical and judge me by my ethnicity. Thsts worse!!"
Welcome to the real world and btw that does sound awfully like whining to me. |
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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago
London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact |
"We're not as multicultural as a society as some people would like to believe..
The predominant aesthetic ideal is a white western male/female as a global norm. Racism still exists these days but it is expressed differently whether it be through subconscious bias or racial apathy. In my view anyway.
I really can't be arsed to go there, but if someone aesthetically prefers something else they are racist?
I can understand part of your view, but I don't agree it automatically is to (always) do with racism. That's a cope out on your behalf."
Not saying preference equals racism automatically. I was trying to make two separate observations I guess. But they're not mutually exclusive either. But on Fab where people judge mostly on appearances, it is most likely just preference. In a predominantly white society, the main catch is going to be Caucasian naturally. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP i would reject you because you have no pics
You cant accommodate
Your profile says " you will be in my town soon" which indicates that you would expect me to slot into your schedule
Oh, and then theres covid
These are just off the top of my head. The fact that youre Asian, isnt even a contributory factor |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We're not as multicultural as a society as some people would like to believe..
The predominant aesthetic ideal is a white western male/female as a global norm. Racism still exists these days but it is expressed differently whether it be through subconscious bias or racial apathy. In my view anyway.
I really can't be arsed to go there, but if someone aesthetically prefers something else they are racist?
I can understand part of your view, but I don't agree it automatically is to (always) do with racism. That's a cope out on your behalf.
Not saying preference equals racism automatically. I was trying to make two separate observations I guess. But they're not mutually exclusive either. But on Fab where people judge mostly on appearances, it is most likely just preference. In a predominantly white society, the main catch is going to be Caucasian naturally. "
I can't disagree with that.
I think it all just a way to turn someone down though. Some won't through attraction(ethnic or not) some won't through racism and the rest will just delete. |
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Just don't try.
Enjoy the forums, the conversation, the banter, the pics, add your own, enjoy other people's, pass compliments if you feel they Warrent it, don't expect response, dont push for replys.
Just be you and have fun amidst thousands of other people. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"OP i would reject you because you have no pics
You cant accommodate
Your profile says " you will be in my town soon" which indicates that you would expect me to slot into your schedule
Oh, and then theres covid
These are just off the top of my head. The fact that youre Asian, isnt even a contributory factor"
Not for you, but for others it will be.
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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago
London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact |
"We're not as multicultural as a society as some people would like to believe..
The predominant aesthetic ideal is a white western male/female as a global norm. Racism still exists these days but it is expressed differently whether it be through subconscious bias or racial apathy. In my view anyway.
I really can't be arsed to go there, but if someone aesthetically prefers something else they are racist?
I can understand part of your view, but I don't agree it automatically is to (always) do with racism. That's a cope out on your behalf.
Not saying preference equals racism automatically. I was trying to make two separate observations I guess. But they're not mutually exclusive either. But on Fab where people judge mostly on appearances, it is most likely just preference. In a predominantly white society, the main catch is going to be Caucasian naturally.
I can't disagree with that.
I think it all just a way to turn someone down though. Some won't through attraction(ethnic or not) some won't through racism and the rest will just delete. "
Either way, no matter what reasons, the outcome is the same and neither can be changed. You can try your best but it may make fuck all difference. Like it or lump it basically.
Q:Why? Why? Why?
A:Just don't fancy ya, soz. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We're not as multicultural as a society as some people would like to believe..
The predominant aesthetic ideal is a white western male/female as a global norm. Racism still exists these days but it is expressed differently whether it be through subconscious bias or racial apathy. In my view anyway.
I really can't be arsed to go there, but if someone aesthetically prefers something else they are racist?
I can understand part of your view, but I don't agree it automatically is to (always) do with racism. That's a cope out on your behalf.
Not saying preference equals racism automatically. I was trying to make two separate observations I guess. But they're not mutually exclusive either. But on Fab where people judge mostly on appearances, it is most likely just preference. In a predominantly white society, the main catch is going to be Caucasian naturally.
I can't disagree with that.
I think it all just a way to turn someone down though. Some won't through attraction(ethnic or not) some won't through racism and the rest will just delete.
Either way, no matter what reasons, the outcome is the same and neither can be changed. You can try your best but it may make fuck all difference. Like it or lump it basically.
Q:Why? Why? Why?
A:Just don't fancy ya, soz. "
Exactly? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People will fancy who they fancy and thats all there is to say, your profile could be better though.
I think you are whinging though by saying you'd prefer people to be rude and not message you politely back, spitting the dummy won't help 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Anyone who is messaging you back and letting you know they aren't interested because YoU'rE AsiAn are not worth your time. I do not see the need for people to state this like it is a preference.
I honestly don't think you're whining about it either. I would rather no reply too than someone reject and dismiss me because I'm a different race.
*fucking eye roll*
I'd recommend joining in the forums, maybe show a few photos on your profile and just be yourself and I'm sure eventually you'll get chatting to some people who are worth your time and effort. |
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"We're not as multicultural as a society as some people would like to believe..
The predominant aesthetic ideal is a white western male/female as a global norm. Racism still exists these days but it is expressed differently whether it be through subconscious bias or racial apathy. In my view anyway.
I really can't be arsed to go there, but if someone aesthetically prefers something else they are racist?
I can understand part of your view, but I don't agree it automatically is to (always) do with racism. That's a cope out on your behalf.
Not saying preference equals racism automatically. I was trying to make two separate observations I guess. But they're not mutually exclusive either. But on Fab where people judge mostly on appearances, it is most likely just preference. In a predominantly white society, the main catch is going to be Caucasian naturally.
I can't disagree with that.
I think it all just a way to turn someone down though. Some won't through attraction(ethnic or not) some won't through racism and the rest will just delete.
Either way, no matter what reasons, the outcome is the same and neither can be changed. You can try your best but it may make fuck all difference. Like it or lump it basically.
Q:Why? Why? Why?
A:Just don't fancy ya, soz. "
then you get the needy questions: what part of my profile put you off? etc... i just don't want to waste any more time on this |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"First of all you can forget anything and everything thats happened as far as fab goes for the entire last year. It's been a write off, people have not been in the "getting to know you" frame of mind due to grieving, fear, frustration, exhaustion and a whole host of other covid related reasons.
Secondly, most people view a profile before replying to or even opening a message. Zero pictures will probably be the cause of at least 80% of the straight deletes. From someone you don't already know it looks shady. Yes there are people I speak to from the forums who have no pictures but that's been getting to know them over the years via the forum.
Some will be prejudice.
Some will be preference.
How many clubs have you been to?
How many organised socials have you been to?
If you're into kink, how many munches or events have you been to? "
Im totally new to the world of swinging. Never been to a sex party/club, only ever had 1 on 1 sex with a woman. Simple guy looking to bring some excitement to my life. Really appreciate the advice x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Just would like to be given a chance x
Whining about things isn’t going to help is it? For every woman who messages you negatively on here with the ‘No Asians’ dig, they’ll be another one who rejects you for reasons other than your heritage.
No ones whining here.... well for your info the only dig i keep getting is No Asians. Rather have no reply.
Now that would be plain rude...
Rather someone be rude and not reply rather than be stereotypical and judge me by my ethnicity. Thsts worse!!
Welcome to the real world and btw that does sound awfully like whining to me. "
Ok. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OP i would reject you because you have no pics
You cant accommodate
Your profile says " you will be in my town soon" which indicates that you would expect me to slot into your schedule
Oh, and then theres covid
These are just off the top of my head. The fact that youre Asian, isnt even a contributory factor"
Thanks for the advice, will definitely consider what u have said x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just don't try.
Enjoy the forums, the conversation, the banter, the pics, add your own, enjoy other people's, pass compliments if you feel they Warrent it, don't expect response, dont push for replys.
Just be you and have fun amidst thousands of other people. "
Sounds like the best advice, socially chat and get to know people via the forum. Will sure use this forum alot more, cheers x |
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"Been on fab over a year now i am very polite and have messaged people. I rarely get a reply, when I do its the typical "I dont meet asians"... any tips???"
It’s always been difficult to get meets pre pandemic and even harder now cos of the pandemic. Abs to be honest you shouldn’t be meeting anyone anyway seeing as were in the middle of a national lockdown I only come in to chat to people and check the forums |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Anyone who is messaging you back and letting you know they aren't interested because YoU'rE AsiAn are not worth your time. I do not see the need for people to state this like it is a preference.
I honestly don't think you're whining about it either. I would rather no reply too than someone reject and dismiss me because I'm a different race.
*fucking eye roll*
I'd recommend joining in the forums, maybe show a few photos on your profile and just be yourself and I'm sure eventually you'll get chatting to some people who are worth your time and effort. "
Best bit of advice on this whole thread. Thank u so much for the advice and honesty, really appreciate it. Thanks x |
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Men always struggle for a year, plus some will more so than others, due to their approach, looks and personality. There's a continuum from clueless to competent, for those using profiles and messages to sell themselves as well as efforts invested wisely.
The reasons given, including too small a cock, too overweight, hairy, race etc are just a deflection of the reality. If most of the time you've seen here we've had a pandemic, it suggests expectations are a little off.
People have preferences. They are just that. Don't try to work out why, just focus on how to meet those with the right preferences. And your expectations as well as for after lockdown |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Thing is what you probably won't know is most of us guys if we're honest find it very difficult to get positive attention,
I'm 51 and shave my head therefore I loose out to younger guys. I rarely message anyone without knowing them on the forums but a couple of years ago I did, I had the rudest of replies sometimes like "fuck off baldy" etc 
Perhaps I was harsh in my last post but you know the best thing you can do is firstly show yourself a little more on your profile, say a little about yourself and reveal what sort of guy you are.
Don't bother with the cold calling type messages and chat on the forums, by just being yourself you'll soon see who'll gravitate to you and make friends.
Girls get so much unwanted attention on here and in a none patronising way I sympathise with the responses you've had so far but in just the same way I don't appeal to some and for different reasons neither will you...
Chat and show who you are,
don't have expectations other than to be treated with the respect that you show and be all you can be... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Skip past those profiles/responses and move on...I wouldn’t bother trying to change their mind on a site like this. Focus on making your own profile attractive in it’s own right. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thank u, yes i tend to find many stereotypes. Shane as theres bad apples in every race
Please keep replies on the forum OP
and that's just one of the many reasons they don't do well on here, or in clubs.
Lots of men who aren't Asian private message from a forum post.
Very true. I apologise for my comment.
My experience of Asian men and couples on here and in clubs hasn't been good.
Well done for admitting the mistake in your comment.
Just out of curiosity though and based off your experiences, do you feel the same if working with asian colleagues and would you not have asian friends either?"
Not sure why the question is relevant, but yes I have Asian colleagues from time to time, one of my daughters has Asian friends, and yes my experiences are (mostly) the same. |
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As stated above OP get yourself to socials when they start again, there will be loads in your area once Covid is a thing of the past! A lot of my verifications are from socials then moved onto meeting people from these social gatherings! |
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By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago
Milton keynes |
Well, as suggested by a lot people.. I agree that you could jazz up your profile a bit. Show people what makes you unique and basically.. you. A few pics of yourself would help too.
And someone suggested socials too which can be great.. well, when things start to calm down that is. Its definitely a great way to meet people
I actually quite like the forums. After a while, you kinda get to know the regulars that post here and some of the topics can be hilarious at time so it's all fun really.
Hope that helps |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Chin up fella, it takes a fair bit of effort to get anywhere here if you’re male playing solo.
You need to have a good profile; I’ve not checked yours but I see people are saying you need pics.... that’s a must. Also a good written bio; it can be hard to open up here at first but if you want to earn trust you have to give a bit too.
As for the ethnicity comments, it will be a hard ‘no’ from some and although it may feel like it, here that’s not much different to a couple not wanting a single man, for example. It’s just not what they’re here for. Others will be flexible....I suspect a few ‘No Asian’ stances would disappear if Hrithik Roshan popped up here! Others won’t care at all, you just have to find them.
Finding the ones you do fit with here is the trick, but there’s no fast route to that I’m afraid, items just down to putting the time in.
You come across as a pretty decent guy so far, so don’t let that slip. There are some total bellends on here and not being one will immediately put you in a good light. |
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"Been on fab over a year now i am very polite and have messaged people. I rarely get a reply, when I do its the typical "I dont meet asians"... any tips???"
Your ethnic make up does not determine if you are going to get a reply or meet on FAB.
All people have their own preferences. It is called attraction...
Every single male has the same chance of meeting as you do.
Point 1. Since FEB 2020, baring a small window of opportunity, the UK has been in a position where meeting is not advised.
That means 90% of FAB are following the rules laided by the government. I.e. not meeting!
Point 2. As a single male you need to stand out from an overly crowded market.
Put in the work.
So quick guide;
-Do Use chat and forums to network. Those that are online tend to be the ones that are active in the community.
-Do make your profile enticing.
-Do read profiles.
-Do make messages interesting.
-Don't ask for a meet during a pandemic.
-Do Keep it light hearted.
-Do Make yourself memorable for the right reasons.
-Don't expect replies.
-Don't whine about not meeting or getting replies in a forum. It is just unattractive and puts people off.
- Do go to phyiscal clubs (post pandemtic). Meet others. Network.
Good luck and Happy FABBING.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Thing is what you probably won't know is most of us guys if we're honest find it very difficult to get positive attention,
I'm 51 and shave my head therefore I loose out to younger guys. I rarely message anyone without knowing them on the forums but a couple of years ago I did, I had the rudest of replies sometimes like "fuck off baldy" etc
Perhaps I was harsh in my last post but you know the best thing you can do is firstly show yourself a little more on your profile, say a little about yourself and reveal what sort of guy you are.
Don't bother with the cold calling type messages and chat on the forums, by just being yourself you'll soon see who'll gravitate to you and make friends.
Girls get so much unwanted attention on here and in a none patronising way I sympathise with the responses you've had so far but in just the same way I don't appeal to some and for different reasons neither will you...
Chat and show who you are,
don't have expectations other than to be treated with the respect that you show and be all you can be..."
Thanks for the advice bro |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Chin up fella, it takes a fair bit of effort to get anywhere here if you’re male playing solo.
You need to have a good profile; I’ve not checked yours but I see people are saying you need pics.... that’s a must. Also a good written bio; it can be hard to open up here at first but if you want to earn trust you have to give a bit too.
As for the ethnicity comments, it will be a hard ‘no’ from some and although it may feel like it, here that’s not much different to a couple not wanting a single man, for example. It’s just not what they’re here for. Others will be flexible....I suspect a few ‘No Asian’ stances would disappear if Hrithik Roshan popped up here! Others won’t care at all, you just have to find them.
Finding the ones you do fit with here is the trick, but there’s no fast route to that I’m afraid, items just down to putting the time in.
You come across as a pretty decent guy so far, so don’t let that slip. There are some total bellends on here and not being one will immediately put you in a good light. "
Hrithik Roshan u know Hahahahahaha, mate u have made me laugh till i had tears coming out. Thanks for the advice too |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Thank u, yes i tend to find many stereotypes. Shane as theres bad apples in every race
Please keep replies on the forum OP
and that's just one of the many reasons they don't do well on here, or in clubs.
Lots of men who aren't Asian private message from a forum post.
Very true. I apologise for my comment.
My experience of Asian men and couples on here and in clubs hasn't been good.
Well done for admitting the mistake in your comment.
Just out of curiosity though and based off your experiences, do you feel the same if working with asian colleagues and would you not have asian friends either?
Not sure why the question is relevant, but yes I have Asian colleagues from time to time, one of my daughters has Asian friends, and yes my experiences are (mostly) the same."
Sounds like u need a nice curry x |
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"Very true. I apologise for my comment.
My experience of Asian men and couples on here and in clubs hasn't been good."
Was our encounter when we met at Town House swingers club in the past or whenever we spoke on here was that an unpleasant/bad experience for you too?
I seem to recall as someone who has actually met you face to face you seemed to be happy/had a smile on you’re face and the occasional laugh when we had our conversations that night at the bar then we went our separate ways in peace..
I’m not going to argue or tell you or anyone else here what to go for etc end off the day it’s their own personal choice and experiences so that’s more or less beyond me if their not interested that’s the way it is life goes on...
However I did want to ask you this as someone who actually met you at a swingers club? I don’t know the details of how you’re experiences with others went as I wasn’t there to personally witness it so I can’t comment on that... |
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"Thank u, yes i tend to find many stereotypes. Shane as theres bad apples in every race
Please keep replies on the forum OP
and that's just one of the many reasons they don't do well on here, or in clubs.
Lots of men who aren't Asian private message from a forum post.
Very true. I apologise for my comment.
My experience of Asian men and couples on here and in clubs hasn't been good.
Well done for admitting the mistake in your comment.
Just out of curiosity though and based off your experiences, do you feel the same if working with asian colleagues and would you not have asian friends either?
Not sure why the question is relevant, but yes I have Asian colleagues from time to time, one of my daughters has Asian friends, and yes my experiences are (mostly) the same."
The majority of bellends I've met in my life have been white British. It doesn't mean all white British people are bellends. However many Asian* people you've thought are "not good" does not mean all Asian people are the same.
*Remember Asia is a fucking huge continent, so what we're actually discussing are people from/of ethnic origin from the largest continent on Earth. I find it hard to believe that EVERY Asian person or person of Asian ethnicities are "not good"
I work with international students, loads from the Middle East, the Indian subcontinent, south east Asia and east Asia. Yes, we've dealt with the odd plonker, but overwhelming, they are incredibly polite, deferential, hard working and incredibly pleasant people to educate. The only students who have thrown lab stools at me have been British students.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Very true. I apologise for my comment.
My experience of Asian men and couples on here and in clubs hasn't been good.
Was our encounter when we met at Town House swingers club in the past or whenever we spoke on here was that an unpleasant/bad experience for you too?
I seem to recall as someone who has actually met you face to face you seemed to be happy/had a smile on you’re face and the occasional laugh when we had our conversations that night at the bar then we went our separate ways in peace..
I’m not going to argue or tell you or anyone else here what to go for etc end off the day it’s their own personal choice and experiences so that’s more or less beyond me if their not interested that’s the way it is life goes on...
However I did want to ask you this as someone who actually met you at a swingers club? I don’t know the details of how you’re experiences with others went as I wasn’t there to personally witness it so I can’t comment on that..."
Neither bad or unpleasant.
The way I was with you that evening was the same as I am with everyone - polite, pleasant, sociable and generous spirited. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Unfortunately there are a lot of nonces in the guise of racists, rapists and peados who frequent fab who will all have their "preferences" or in other words prejudices.
What you need to do is be patient and very selective when meeting is possible. |
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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago
London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact |
"Unfortunately there are a lot of nonces in the guise of racists, rapists and peados who frequent fab who will all have their "preferences" or in other words prejudices.
What you need to do is be patient and very selective when meeting is possible. "
Huh? Nonces? I don't get the relevance of this in respect of this topic. Unless I am slow on the uptake. |
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By *landElCouple
over a year ago
Kent |
OK equal question.. Why are they way less Asian women on here then say white woman? I agree with the notion of preconceptions right or wrong it's there. And you have no pics at all for anyone to see. Plus.. Single guys need to stand out if they want to attract women and couples.. There are thousands of single guys to choose from...this is a swinging site not a dating site..and the few single women can afford to be fussy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Unfortunately there are a lot of nonces in the guise of racists, rapists and peados who frequent fab who will all have their "preferences" or in other words prejudices.
What you need to do is be patient and very selective when meeting is possible.
Huh? Nonces? I don't get the relevance of this in respect of this topic. Unless I am slow on the uptake. "
If you are, then I am too! |
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