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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Do you feel like you're never good enough, especially in work?
You may be surprised to hear it is a recognised condition
"Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon, impostorism, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their skills, talents or accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a "fraud".
Despite external evidence of their competence, those experiencing this phenomenon remain convinced that they are frauds, and do not deserve all they have achieved.
Individuals with impostorism incorrectly attribute their success to luck, or interpret it as a result of deceiving others into thinking they are more intelligent than they perceive themselves to be.
While early research focused on the prevalence among high-achieving women, impostor syndrome has been recognized to affect both men and women equally." |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I put this on, not to play amateur psychologist, but to maybe help someone recognise what they feel - and that they are not on their own in feeling this way. |
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By *S2004Man
over a year ago
Bromsgrove |
I feel this all the time. Always wondering how I managed to get the job I have and how I haven’t been found it. No matter how many times I get told I am doing a good job or others seek me out for advice I still feel a fraud |
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I've spent many years in the past thinking like that and believe me , its extremely detrimental to oneself. If you can understand you are good enough and you do deserve good things without being arrogant about it , half the battle is won  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've spent many years in the past thinking like that and believe me , its extremely detrimental to oneself. If you can understand you are good enough and you do deserve good things without being arrogant about it , half the battle is won "
ALL OF THIS! 
Lu  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've spent many years in the past thinking like that and believe me , its extremely detrimental to oneself. If you can understand you are good enough and you do deserve good things without being arrogant about it , half the battle is won "
 |
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"I feel this all the time. Always wondering how I managed to get the job I have and how I haven’t been found it. No matter how many times I get told I am doing a good job or others seek me out for advice I still feel a fraud "
I would suggest placing faith in your employer and those around you. They have an overview of what you are doing and how you are performing.
Think they know the job and requirements better than you.
If you try to change your mindset to that perspective it might help. |
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I know someone who does. She's been promoted very rapidly, has eye watering responsibility for people and money, earns a salary way over other women of her age and is extremely competent but still can't understand why she's in the position she's in.
I've noticed that it's very conscientious people who feel this way. They do an excellent job because they're so conscientious but in turn they notice the tiny things they haven't done so well and judge themselves in that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I found this when I started my new job, constantly stressing and worrying that I would get "found out" if I didn't understand the work straight away and or had to ask loads of questions but that's lessened the more experience I had.
In a way, I've found it to be a good thing too. It motivates me to get things right and push myself to be the best I can be and always improve due to that worry that if don't, someone might hold that against me to say I'm not good enough. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I know someone who does. She's been promoted very rapidly, has eye watering responsibility for people and money, earns a salary way over other women of her age and is extremely competent but still can't understand why she's in the position she's in.
I've noticed that it's very conscientious people who feel this way. They do an excellent job because they're so conscientious but in turn they notice the tiny things they haven't done so well and judge themselves in that. "
This is pretty much what I am trying to help my OH with at the minute
He interviewed for a job (3 stage interview incl a technical aptitude test) and got himself into a right state about it after stage 3 seemed to go well
I said 'fkin' ell, what are you going to be like if they offer it you? '
Same afternoon, they did offer him the job
Instant meltdown, a feeling of failure, not going to manage, won't last the probation etc etc
It's awful to witness, cos he is so talented and so conscientious and more than capable
That's when I started doing some digging as, I will admit, I've felt like this too from time to time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm riddled with impostor syndrome, it's good to hear other people are too.
Some idiot is paying (albeit not very much) me to write the text for an illustrated coffee table book. Editor/ translator was going over a section I wrote back in March and there was a piece which I had forgotten about, which I couldn't deny was actually really good. So naturally I start looking for source material because clearly I must have plagiarised it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I've noticed that it's very conscientious people who feel this way. They do an excellent job because they're so conscientious but in turn they notice the tiny things they haven't done so well and judge themselves in that. "
I think this, with possibly holding ones self to an unrealistic standard. Almost perfectionism and a hyped up internal self critique. So rather than seeing the good the work you have done is, you focus on how you could have done better. |
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"I know someone who does. She's been promoted very rapidly, has eye watering responsibility for people and money, earns a salary way over other women of her age and is extremely competent but still can't understand why she's in the position she's in.
I've noticed that it's very conscientious people who feel this way. They do an excellent job because they're so conscientious but in turn they notice the tiny things they haven't done so well and judge themselves in that.
This is pretty much what I am trying to help my OH with at the minute
He interviewed for a job (3 stage interview incl a technical aptitude test) and got himself into a right state about it after stage 3 seemed to go well
I said 'fkin' ell, what are you going to be like if they offer it you? '
Same afternoon, they did offer him the job
Instant meltdown, a feeling of failure, not going to manage, won't last the probation etc etc
It's awful to witness, cos he is so talented and so conscientious and more than capable
That's when I started doing some digging as, I will admit, I've felt like this too from time to time"
Has he accepted? Is he ok about whatever decision he's taken?
A little self doubt keeps us on our toes, I think all but the most insufferable of us experience it. Obviously I'm bloody excellent at everything I do but even I doubt myself occasionally.  |
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"I'm riddled with impostor syndrome, it's good to hear other people are too.
Some idiot is paying (albeit not very much) me to write the text for an illustrated coffee table book. Editor/ translator was going over a section I wrote back in March and there was a piece which I had forgotten about, which I couldn't deny was actually really good. So naturally I start looking for source material because clearly I must have plagiarised it. "
That made me laugh.
On a very much smaller scale an author I was chatting to asked if they could quote something I had said to them. I agreed then immediately thought if it's so flaming clever I must have read it somewhere else  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My work, Fab etc constantly tells me I'm not good enough. It's not imposter syndrome, it's true.
Fine by me, if I'm so shit I have no worry about failing as I'm already a failure. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm riddled with impostor syndrome, it's good to hear other people are too.
Some idiot is paying (albeit not very much) me to write the text for an illustrated coffee table book. Editor/ translator was going over a section I wrote back in March and there was a piece which I had forgotten about, which I couldn't deny was actually really good. So naturally I start looking for source material because clearly I must have plagiarised it.
That made me laugh.
On a very much smaller scale an author I was chatting to asked if they could quote something I had said to them. I agreed then immediately thought if it's so flaming clever I must have read it somewhere else "
Totally associate. Obvs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My work, Fab etc constantly tells me I'm not good enough. It's not imposter syndrome, it's true.
Fine by me, if I'm so shit I have no worry about failing as I'm already a failure. "
I'm lucky I have some people around me, much like the OP's partner has him bless him, that are constantly encouraging.
Fab I expect, but your work sounds worrying. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I know someone who does. She's been promoted very rapidly, has eye watering responsibility for people and money, earns a salary way over other women of her age and is extremely competent but still can't understand why she's in the position she's in.
I've noticed that it's very conscientious people who feel this way. They do an excellent job because they're so conscientious but in turn they notice the tiny things they haven't done so well and judge themselves in that.
This is pretty much what I am trying to help my OH with at the minute
He interviewed for a job (3 stage interview incl a technical aptitude test) and got himself into a right state about it after stage 3 seemed to go well
I said 'fkin' ell, what are you going to be like if they offer it you? '
Same afternoon, they did offer him the job
Instant meltdown, a feeling of failure, not going to manage, won't last the probation etc etc
It's awful to witness, cos he is so talented and so conscientious and more than capable
That's when I started doing some digging as, I will admit, I've felt like this too from time to time
Has he accepted? Is he ok about whatever decision he's taken?
A little self doubt keeps us on our toes, I think all but the most insufferable of us experience it. Obviously I'm bloody excellent at everything I do but even I doubt myself occasionally. "
He's given his notice in this afternoon
He had the contract through this morning, but wanted to clarify / amend a couple of points before signing
They alterations came through just before lunch
I've tried to say, the mere fact they have altered their standard t&c's to match his expectations is a good sign, but that wasn't sinking in |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My work, Fab etc constantly tells me I'm not good enough. It's not imposter syndrome, it's true.
Fine by me, if I'm so shit I have no worry about failing as I'm already a failure. "
I don't think many workplaces / managers realise the damage they do by pointing out every minor flaw. They all add up.
As for Fab, you hold your own and play by your own rules
I think you're great, as does J - he always asks about you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My work, Fab etc constantly tells me I'm not good enough. It's not imposter syndrome, it's true.
Fine by me, if I'm so shit I have no worry about failing as I'm already a failure.
I don't think many workplaces / managers realise the damage they do by pointing out every minor flaw. They all add up.
As for Fab, you hold your own and play by your own rules
I think you're great, as does J - he always asks about you "
Aww he's lovely. And you're alright.
My work are just shit all round really. I'm probably over sensitive due to 'stuff'. It does all add up. |
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