 |
By *aitonel OP Man
over a year ago
Travelling |
Mostly aimes at the ladies due to the situation I just witnessed, but the question is open to everyone.
So, I'm in work and waiting down in the entrance area. All of the staff are generally familiar and friendly with each other.
However one of the young ladies comes in this morning with her hair very different to normal (slightly curled etc) and the security guard notices and points it out, and gives a compliment as to it looking good.
She of course says thank you etc but seemed to feel slightly awkward about it. Which of course she may have been a little shy, but could also have been an unwelcome awkwardness.
Anyway my questions are, when you change something about your appearance on the level of a different hairstyle or similar, do you like attention brought to it through people noticing and compliments or would you rather that it remained unsaid.
Also do you compliment people on these changes that you notice?
I don't mind if I get compliments or the odd "hey you changed your hair" now and again. But I generally don't point out these changes other people make, especially women, as I feel when I do that it may come across as unwelcome and uncomfortable flirting even if the intent is nothing more than just a compliment. Obviously with those I am much closer to and familiar with I will do. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Maybe she hasn't got to the point she felt good in it?
I do enjoy equally giving and receiving tokens of appreciation. 
They are for me, but it's nice to see someone pays enough attention to you to notice your transformation. Isn't it? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
As long as the compliment is just a compliment and not some desperate attempt at flirting or a sexual comment I think most females appreciate a compliment, I always try and make sure I word any compliments right |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
How I react/if I'd comment and compliment definitely depends on how close I am to the person.
Last summer a friend I hadn't seen in almost a year said about how much weight I had lost and I was thrilled because they mean a lot to me and they're not the sort to give compliments on the physical at all.  I did feel awkward when a colleague said something similar but it might have been how they phrased it or maybe that's down to me? I don't mind if men say it in a genuine, no ulterior motives sort of way and I beam away if they are not the sort to usually say them.
Compliments should be given not because they are a token to quim access or they are expected to be returned. I comment on features I like of my friends, even more if they've changed slightly because they do look good.
On the whole I like it because it's nice to hear that people think you're looking good or whatever else and it temporarily sates my needy side. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Funnily enough this cropped up on my memories on another social media site. Where in work I caused a stir because I wore jeans instead of a skirt or dress. The reason was because it was snowing and I was being prepared had wellies etc in my car. It actually made me feel rather uncomfortable to be honest. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aitonel OP Man
over a year ago
Travelling |
"I would suppose it depends on the compliment.
"I see you've had your hair done, it looks very nice" apposed to "you look very shaggable with your new hair style"."
Oh my question is based upon genuine phrased compliments for sure. The intent is upon the person giving, but certainly nicely phrased. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think it’s nice to give and receive compliments, just don’t do it loudly in front of other people unless you know your audience well and know they’ll enjoy the attention. I’m a bit crap at accepting compliments and should just learn to say thank you but I do appreciate them.
Lou x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ouanna JoWoman
over a year ago
A little village |
I receive all compliments gratefully, be they from men or women, and equally I wouldn’t think twice of complimenting what I perceived as a positive change in a male or female colleague’s appearance - most obvious example being a new hairstyle. I’d be highly unlikely to comment on something like weight loss though, as I feel that’s far too personal for some people - unless I knew the person very well and they’d already shared with me aspects of their weight loss journey, for example. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
This resonates very much with me.
If someone comments on my appearance, whether it's changed or not, I can only take it from people I am very freindly with.
If someone I don't like and barely bother with mentions it I feel more than awkward, I want to be hostile.
So I might say 'thank you' but inside i'm thinking fuck off and mind your own business.......
It's as if I haven't given them permission to be personal with me.
If it was someone I see regularly like a shop keeper or taxi driver or sommat , i'd take it for what it was and respond nicely and even be boosted by it .
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
PLUS O.P.......
I just remembered that when someone is a bit flirty ........ fuck I cringe internally .......
I have a choice to be pleasant and that is misleading or to be fucking rude, which I can be good at but then become the 'baddy' .... even a polite word about not liking attention turns the women into the 'baddy' ....
The other week I told a colleague to stop being Neanderthal and everyone went ...... ooooooooooooooooooooooo but they didn't go oooooooooooooooooo ahhhhhhhh when he was insinuating things toward me.
Fuck ....... now im off on one.
You've done it  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aitonel OP Man
over a year ago
Travelling |
"Compliments should be given not because they are a token to quim access or they are expected to be returned. I comment on features I like of my friends, even more if they've changed slightly because they do look good.
On the whole I like it because it's nice to hear that people think you're looking good or whatever else and it temporarily sates my needy side. "
As a person, I enjoy giving compliments that I feel are deserved, or are fully and truthfully my positive personal opinion. I won't give out a compliment if I don't believe in what I'm saying is true. Regardless of being attracted to said person, or wanting to date or sleep with them. And despite enjoying giving them, I don't just throw them out in to the world constantly either, as you say the more meaningful compliments are those from people who often don't.
As a guy, I hesitate. Not through lack of confidance or uncertainty in what I'm complimenting but in how that compliment is viewed and its intent judged. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago
somewhere, someplace |
I suppose it depends a lot on the person as well, for example me... I'm shit at accepting compliments full stop be that from family,friends or strangers. I instantly go into awkward mode and will just mumble a thanks or change the subject |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
There could have been all sorts of things at play to make her uncomfortable. Maybe she isn’t comfortable with compliments generally. Maybe she has a bad history with the man who complimented her - he might make a habit of commenting on her appearance, or have made more personal comments in the past, so that she’s now uncomfortable with any interaction with him. She might have been unsure about the new hairstyle and a little uncomfortable because of that. It’s hard to say without knowing the people involved.
Personally, and I can only speak for myself, not other women - a compliment on something like my hair, where I’ve chosen the style or colour and have control over it, is fine for me as long as it’s done in a genuine and non-creepy way. Compliments on my clothes are ok as long as it’s “that’s a nice dress” or “that dress really suits you” or something like that, but never “your tits look great in that dress” (there are people who can say that to me, but it’s a very small group!). Comments on my body, however well-meant, aren’t welcome at all. Like I say, I can’t speak for everyone, but I think as a general rule of thumb that’s not a bad way to approach giving compliments.
But also - consider giving other men compliments as well, not just women. And maybe think about how you’d word a compliment to a man (assuming you’re straight and definitely don’t want to fuck him), then word compliments to women the same way. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"PLUS O.P.......
I just remembered that when someone is a bit flirty ........ fuck I cringe internally .......
I have a choice to be pleasant and that is misleading or to be fucking rude, which I can be good at but then become the 'baddy' .... even a polite word about not liking attention turns the women into the 'baddy' ....
The other week I told a colleague to stop being Neanderthal and everyone went ...... ooooooooooooooooooooooo but they didn't go oooooooooooooooooo ahhhhhhhh when he was insinuating things toward me.
Fuck ....... now im off on one.
You've done it "
Women should know their place. Men have better things to do than have to waste time mansplaining everything to women. Even worse if then women complain about something the man said.
Next time you know to be more appreciative.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"PLUS O.P.......
I just remembered that when someone is a bit flirty ........ fuck I cringe internally .......
I have a choice to be pleasant and that is misleading or to be fucking rude, which I can be good at but then become the 'baddy' .... even a polite word about not liking attention turns the women into the 'baddy' ....
The other week I told a colleague to stop being Neanderthal and everyone went ...... ooooooooooooooooooooooo but they didn't go oooooooooooooooooo ahhhhhhhh when he was insinuating things toward me.
Fuck ....... now im off on one.
You've done it
Women should know their place. Men have better things to do than have to waste time mansplaining everything to women. Even worse if then women complain about something the man said.
Next time you know to be more appreciative. "
I'll do the giggle thing and flash |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"PLUS O.P.......
I just remembered that when someone is a bit flirty ........ fuck I cringe internally .......
I have a choice to be pleasant and that is misleading or to be fucking rude, which I can be good at but then become the 'baddy' .... even a polite word about not liking attention turns the women into the 'baddy' ....
The other week I told a colleague to stop being Neanderthal and everyone went ...... ooooooooooooooooooooooo but they didn't go oooooooooooooooooo ahhhhhhhh when he was insinuating things toward me.
Fuck ....... now im off on one.
You've done it
Women should know their place. Men have better things to do than have to waste time mansplaining everything to women. Even worse if then women complain about something the man said.
Next time you know to be more appreciative.
I'll do the giggle thing and flash"
Good girl.
(Cringing typing that!!!)  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
