FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Please say it isn't just me...
Please say it isn't just me...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Please tell me I'm not alone in this. I have just rejoined, been here for 4 years but finding it harder mentally this time round.
I just generally want a normal chat. As soon as it turns sexual I lose interest, especially on the first/second/third message.
I know that that's why we're here but if I can't have a normal conversation with someone first I'm not going to be fucking them.
Not saying this from a prudish attitude at all  I'm just bored of horny men every night, I want to be horny to but but I am struggling with lack of mental stimulation.
Please be kind, feeling a bit abnormal as this isn't normally me. I think the lockdown isolation and boredom is getting to me
Xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Please tell me I'm not alone in this. I have just rejoined, been here for 4 years but finding it harder mentally this time round.
I just generally want a normal chat. As soon as it turns sexual I lose interest, especially on the first/second/third message.
I know that that's why we're here but if I can't have a normal conversation with someone first I'm not going to be fucking them.
Not saying this from a prudish attitude at all I'm just bored of horny men every night, I want to be horny to but but I am struggling with lack of mental stimulation.
Please be kind, feeling a bit abnormal as this isn't normally me. I think the lockdown isolation and boredom is getting to me
Xxx "
Generic banter yes. Not discussing the weather though. That would be too clean for Fab.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Please tell me I'm not alone in this. I have just rejoined, been here for 4 years but finding it harder mentally this time round.
I just generally want a normal chat. As soon as it turns sexual I lose interest, especially on the first/second/third message.
I know that that's why we're here but if I can't have a normal conversation with someone first I'm not going to be fucking them.
Not saying this from a prudish attitude at all I'm just bored of horny men every night, I want to be horny to but but I am struggling with lack of mental stimulation.
Please be kind, feeling a bit abnormal as this isn't normally me. I think the lockdown isolation and boredom is getting to me
Xxx
Generic banter yes. Not discussing the weather though. That would be too clean for Fab. "
But we are British
I am missing flirty and cheeky chat really! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You are certainly not alone.
It has got to many of us that this lockdown is harder than the first two.
I don't even attempt to message anyone now. "
Hope  I hope it starts to ease up mentally so we can get that enjoyment back xxx |
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"You are certainly not alone.
It has got to many of us that this lockdown is harder than the first two.
I don't even attempt to message anyone now. "
When I started swinging I had less than a year before the world changed forever (it seems (  ..?)
Yet once it had changed Fab was never about swingers anymore well not on the truest sense and well now well I think you've already said it... unfortunately.!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You are certainly not alone.
It has got to many of us that this lockdown is harder than the first two.
I don't even attempt to message anyone now.
Hope I hope it starts to ease up mentally so we can get that enjoyment back xxx "
I think my mojo is in mothballs for now. I'll get it out and freshen it up one day  |
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Hey Lucy...
No..it's not just you and doesn't mean your a prude just because you don't want to talk sex sharpish like.
The conversation for me should just flow.
If there is any chemistry flirty banter just happens.
Not forced, easy and fun.
For a long time I lost interest in it.
I wasn't feeling sexy, I just wasn't feeling it at all x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey Lucy...
No..it's not just you and doesn't mean your a prude just because you don't want to talk sex sharpish like.
The conversation for me should just flow.
If there is any chemistry flirty banter just happens.
Not forced, easy and fun.
For a long time I lost interest in it.
I wasn't feeling sexy, I just wasn't feeling it at all x"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it just me or is the best sex usually when it's spontaneous, 90% in the (depraved head) and 10% about the physical.. 
Askin for a friend obvs "
So, an off the cuff sexathon that also satisfies fantasies. That's just being greedy. Sex will suffice for me. |
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"Is it just me or is the best sex usually when it's spontaneous, 90% in the (depraved head) and 10% about the physical..
Askin for a friend obvs
So, an off the cuff sexathon that also satisfies fantasies. That's just being greedy. Sex will suffice for me. "
Hahaha |
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By *aylonMan
over a year ago
Earlsfield |
Kinda opposite for me, when I joined it was all sex and parties, now it's nice people want to conversate more through whatsapp, send pics and vids, maybe it's LD I dunno ??????? I'm enjoying Fab tho, can't wait for the Sutton parties ?? |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
Hey Lucy, it definitely isn't just you.
For many people, seduction starts in the mind, and when it's all virtual, that's all we have really. It's about finding the balance between making someone aware that you're flirting because you would like to do more than chat, and having pure sex chat, and it can be difficult to find on here sometimes.
It can be done. There are many people, particularly forum users but also non forum users, who are happy with conversation. I find that not getting into a sexual conversation with a person to start off with is the best way. That way you likely know within a few messages if it's going in the direction you'd like it to.
And sometimes you'll find that the conversation takes you firmly into the friend zone, sometimes you'll find it continues with the flirting on and off and you know that you'd like to meet each other for more than friendship when the world recovers.
Some of the best people I have in my life are people I've started chatting to on here, but it takes time.
Good luck.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You're not alone. Yes this is a site designed for one reason but regardless I think I'd agree with you. Normal interaction/conversation is what I look for. Especially after the year we've had. |
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By *imbobaMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"Hey Lucy, it definitely isn't just you.
For many people, seduction starts in the mind, and when it's all virtual, that's all we have really. It's about finding the balance between making someone aware that you're flirting because you would like to do more than chat, and having pure sex chat, and it can be difficult to find on here sometimes.
It can be done. There are many people, particularly forum users but also non forum users, who are happy with conversation. I find that not getting into a sexual conversation with a person to start off with is the best way. That way you likely know within a few messages if it's going in the direction you'd like it to.
And sometimes you'll find that the conversation takes you firmly into the friend zone, sometimes you'll find it continues with the flirting on and off and you know that you'd like to meet each other for more than friendship when the world recovers.
Some of the best people I have in my life are people I've started chatting to on here, but it takes time.
Good luck. "
Posh speaks wise and knows why I say that. But I’ll add one wee tip if you want to converse rather than get all sexual about things. Please don’t take this the wrong way but your gallery shouts (to me at least) “let’s talk intimate sex please.”
Sending a tonal message? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey Lucy...
No..it's not just you and doesn't mean your a prude just because you don't want to talk sex sharpish like.
The conversation for me should just flow.
If there is any chemistry flirty banter just happens.
Not forced, easy and fun.
For a long time I lost interest in it.
I wasn't feeling sexy, I just wasn't feeling it at all x"
|
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I feel the same, I am fed up of the instant gratification chasers, as soon as they realise its not going to be sexy talk they off sharpish.
So I stick to sexy talk with my friends, who are not looking to use me and dipping in and out of the forum |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"...
But I’ll add one wee tip if you want to converse rather than get all sexual about things. Please don’t take this the wrong way but your gallery shouts (to me at least) “let’s talk intimate sex please.”
Sending a tonal message?"
I agree with this. It's a sex site with sex pics and sex chat in profile text.
Like attracts like. They assume that's how you want to chat OP.
You're not weird, neither are they. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Anyone that goes immediately into sex chat and are just using you to have a quick wank won't attract most women on here.
That's why there are a billion threads on not being 'successful' on Fab.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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anyone and everyone needs someone to talk to,have a good old natter and chinwag without any expectations of anything ... just a talk .. ....its good to talk |
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I think fab has always attracted men with the attitude "she's on fab so she must be up for sex chat straight away" but dig deeper and there are guys who want normal chats leading to flirty cheeky chats.
Dig deep, we're on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I need to have the balance of the two, someone who can get me hot under the collar but we also have that conversation/banter too. I guess as we can't meet, it can damper the tension as you never know when you can actually do it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think fab has always attracted men with the attitude "she's on fab so she must be up for sex chat straight away" but dig deeper and there are guys who want normal chats leading to flirty cheeky chats.
Dig deep, we're on here "
You are a nice respectful bloke. We chatted ages ago and you are one of the decent ones. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Please tell me I'm not alone in this. I have just rejoined, been here for 4 years but finding it harder mentally this time round.
I just generally want a normal chat. As soon as it turns sexual I lose interest, especially on the first/second/third message.
I know that that's why we're here but if I can't have a normal conversation with someone first I'm not going to be fucking them.
Not saying this from a prudish attitude at all I'm just bored of horny men every night, I want to be horny to but but I am struggling with lack of mental stimulation.
Please be kind, feeling a bit abnormal as this isn't normally me. I think the lockdown isolation and boredom is getting to me
Xxx "
I discourage inbox masturbatory fodder servicing - plenty of peeps in here for that who actually enjoy it as I don't anymore.
I love sex.
I don't like prick teasing myself, I've grown out of it.
Real deal or nowt for me!! (ok maybe some vids and LOTS of sexy pics to stimulate my creative juices lol)
Maybe you've just grown with the experiences you've already had?!.
Sex like any other education you enter is a journey and your tastes change...
Also Lockdown's had the effect of people wanting more substance to life instead of dealing with surface level, vacuous crap - that's my opinion lol
Or maybe it's just a phase you're going through?!... always best to go with the flow of these things to gauge how you're feeling... it becomes apparent sooner or later if you give it some unstressed time to settle.
x |
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"I think fab has always attracted men with the attitude "she's on fab so she must be up for sex chat straight away" but dig deeper and there are guys who want normal chats leading to flirty cheeky chats.
Dig deep, we're on here
You are a nice respectful bloke. We chatted ages ago and you are one of the decent ones. "
That's a nice thing to say, can I put you down to give me a reference |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Please tell me I'm not alone in this. I have just rejoined, been here for 4 years but finding it harder mentally this time round.
I just generally want a normal chat. As soon as it turns sexual I lose interest, especially on the first/second/third message.
I know that that's why we're here but if I can't have a normal conversation with someone first I'm not going to be fucking them.
Not saying this from a prudish attitude at all I'm just bored of horny men every night, I want to be horny to but but I am struggling with lack of mental stimulation.
Please be kind, feeling a bit abnormal as this isn't normally me. I think the lockdown isolation and boredom is getting to me
Xxx "
I have found since I changed my public pics to non revealing that I get less messages but they are more polite and I have found guys that will have more generic conversations, rather than telling me what they will do to me and a dick pic.
Perhaps try it for a couple of days and see? |
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No it's not just you. I'm I enjoy just chatting and getting to know people, without the Chat degradig but from my experience this generally is not what people are after, maybe I've been trying to message the wrong lady's.
It would be great to find some people just to natter to, have a moan about crap and help pass each others time while we are in lockdown
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"
I have found since I changed my public pics to non revealing that I get less messages but they are more polite and I have found guys that will have more generic conversations, rather than telling me what they will do to me and a dick pic.
Perhaps try it for a couple of days and see?"
This is a good idea, I found a definite change in pictures depending on what ones I have on display.
I also think, with everything going on currently, quite a few people are finding it difficult to have normal conversations - there's not really anything going on (aside from the obvious) and perhaps sex is an easy topic of choice?
You're not alone in finding that OP. |
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I don't think I've ever started a chat on here jumping straight to sex talk
I'll comment or compliment on a pic and if a chat happens to be a result of that I ain't going to jump in with a Cooorrr, get them off ya comment,
Surely a normal chat all be it with banter is the way to go. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Any good conversation needs to flow both ways, be natural, engaging regardless of the topic, and most importantly compatible - without establishing those things it will always feel forced and unstimulating.
I enjoy discussing sex and sexuality with people but only if it feels right and natural to do so, likewise with "sex chat" - it needs to flow into it naturally and instinctively from a mutually agreeable standpoint and that usually doesn't happen within the first handful of messages, an attraction and connection of sorts needs to have been built first.
So no, you're not in the slightest bit alone OP - give me random chit chat about any number of topics over instant sex chat any day. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sex talk us ok if it’s thought out but some guys genuinely believe they are doing us a favour  "
I think you're right. It's a site full of sex pics and sex chat, can't blame them for assuming people want sex chat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Please tell me I'm not alone in this. I have just rejoined, been here for 4 years but finding it harder mentally this time round.
I just generally want a normal chat. As soon as it turns sexual I lose interest, especially on the first/second/third message.
I know that that's why we're here but if I can't have a normal conversation with someone first I'm not going to be fucking them.
Not saying this from a prudish attitude at all I'm just bored of horny men every night, I want to be horny to but but I am struggling with lack of mental stimulation.
Please be kind, feeling a bit abnormal as this isn't normally me. I think the lockdown isolation and boredom is getting to me
Xxx "
Totally agree with you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Any good conversation needs to flow both ways, be natural, engaging regardless of the topic, and most importantly compatible - without establishing those things it will always feel forced and unstimulating.
I enjoy discussing sex and sexuality with people but only if it feels right and natural to do so, likewise with "sex chat" - it needs to flow into it naturally and instinctively from a mutually agreeable standpoint and that usually doesn't happen within the first handful of messages, an attraction and connection of sorts needs to have been built first.
So no, you're not in the slightest bit alone OP - give me random chit chat about any number of topics over instant sex chat any day."
In hindsight I should have just put a thumb under this again  . You say things so much better and I always seem to agree! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd add that there is an art to sex chat too - which again doesn't come easily without knowing someone that well, or there not being a compatibility established first."
If someone uses a word that makes me cringe, that's me dry.
But that same word may make someone else rampant. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Please tell me I'm not alone in this. I have just rejoined, been here for 4 years but finding it harder mentally this time round.
I just generally want a normal chat. As soon as it turns sexual I lose interest, especially on the first/second/third message.
I know that that's why we're here but if I can't have a normal conversation with someone first I'm not going to be fucking them.
Not saying this from a prudish attitude at all I'm just bored of horny men every night, I want to be horny to but but I am struggling with lack of mental stimulation.
Please be kind, feeling a bit abnormal as this isn't normally me. I think the lockdown isolation and boredom is getting to me
Xxx "
Great thread, OP and I could not agree with you more! Right now I would like a proper conversation more than anything, especially as we do not know when we can meet and play again.
But for me, it is bigger than the pandemic: I generally need to have a rapport with the people I meet. Not a life-long friendship or an in-depth philosophical discussion but at least a sense of human contact and communication.
Of course, that does not mean sexy banter is completely out of the question forever. It just means I want to get to know somebody a little bit before indulging into more intimate stuff.
Good to see that I am not the only one! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Please tell me I'm not alone in this. I have just rejoined, been here for 4 years but finding it harder mentally this time round.
I just generally want a normal chat. As soon as it turns sexual I lose interest, especially on the first/second/third message.
I know that that's why we're here but if I can't have a normal conversation with someone first I'm not going to be fucking them.
Not saying this from a prudish attitude at all I'm just bored of horny men every night, I want to be horny to but but I am struggling with lack of mental stimulation.
Please be kind, feeling a bit abnormal as this isn't normally me. I think the lockdown isolation and boredom is getting to me
Xxx
Great thread, OP and I could not agree with you more! Right now I would like a proper conversation more than anything, especially as we do not know when we can meet and play again.
But for me, it is bigger than the pandemic: I generally need to have a rapport with the people I meet. Not a life-long friendship or an in-depth philosophical discussion but at least a sense of human contact and communication.
Of course, that does not mean sexy banter is completely out of the question forever. It just means I want to get to know somebody a little bit before indulging into more intimate stuff.
Good to see that I am not the only one! "
I like sexy chat but only with guys that I would like to meet.
I have no interest in weeks of chat just so random strangers can wank. |
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